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[ on a phone call ]
MC: Belphie, I messed up and I need your help
Belphie: I'm on my way, put the body in the bathtub and fill it with ice for now
MC: alrigh- wait, what ?
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Mammon, flirting: How is the most prettiest person doing today ?
MC, blushing: oh i- um
Asmo, in the back: I'm doing great, thanks for asking
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Mammon: Lucifer, the new exchange student told me to give this to you
Lucifer: What's their name ?
Mammon: It's Kanye
Lucifer: Who's Kanye ?
Mammon: KANYE FIT THIS DIC-
Mammon to MC: and that's how I got tied up here, can you help me please
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Levi: I wish we can block people in real life
Satan: Restraining order
Belphie: Murder
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Asmo: I just ended up a 5 year relationship...
MC: oh my god, are you okay?
Asmo: oh I'm fine, it wasn't my relationship
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Diavolo: Barbatos, can you bring some extra cup and sugar ? We have Lucifer with us today
Diavolo: So Lucifer, tea or coffee ?
Lucifer: Coffee would be nice
Diavolo: wrong, it's tea! Better luck next time tho
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Lucifer: are you ready to commit ?
MC: like a crime or a relationship ?
Belphie to MC: pretty sure he meant suicid3
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Satan: listen here you piece of crap, I am NOT your BABY, I am NOT your BABE. Call me with that disgusting name one more time and I'll rip your inside and eat it raw
[ MC, from another room ]: is everything alright, babe ?
Satan: yeah, nothing to worry about, MC !
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Beel: a mosquito bites me and I slapped it too hard and killed it
Beel: and I started thinking
Beel: the mosquito just trying to get food
Beel: what if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snap my neck
MC: Beel, are you okay
Belphie: I'm kinda jealous of that mosquito ngl
MC: what the fuck
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MC: I hate you
Satan, in his head: enemies to lovers, slowburn, chapter 105, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words, genre romance tragedy
Satan: I hate you too
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MC : you think your life is hard? I got transported to a literal hell and had to do a lot of task everyday
The brothers who are forced to work at least 10 hours a day by MC:
what a hypocritical bitch
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MC: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?
Satan: Maybe a bit tipsy?
Beel: Drunk
Levi: Wasted
Mammon: Dead
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Asmo, unbutton shirt: "Ugh, it's so hot in here!"
Solomon:
Solomon: Asmo, that's my shirt
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Levi, whispering :MC, what's the WiFi password ?
MC: This is literally a funeral
Levi, typing :this ...is ... literally...a...funeral
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Lucifer to Mammon: do you ever get the urge to tell someone to “shut up,” when they aren’t even talking?
Mammon:
Lucifer: shut up
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Asmo: Solomon~ have I ever told you that you are good at cooking ?
Solomon: Aw, you haven't told me that before
Asmo: so why tf you keep cooking
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Levi: Ruri Chan is the strongest magical girl out there and nothing can change my mind !
MC: can she beat Goku tho?
Levi: wha-
MC: nvm
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