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obeymequotes · 10 months
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Ok but Solomon being the biblical age feminist makes me sad and happy at the same time.
Cause imagine him seeing all these women and young girls being harmed simply because they didn't fit the "expectations" of men.
I just see him sometimes saving a little girl from death because she taught herself to read or like herbal healing or even just speaking her mind.
Eventually he just has like a dozens of little girls in his care. They're all super smart and he looks after them and encourages them. They're his babies now. No one can stop him. Touch his girls you die.
*Asmo and Levi doing Mc's make-up*
Levi, holding up a make-up sponge: I also brought this at the store because I saw a white woman use it on deviltube
Asmo, passive aggressively use it: And we're blending
Levi: It is a sponge, drenched in the power of Satan
Asmo, still blending: Ready to take some fucking souls, AND RUIN SOME GODDAMN LIVES
Mc, looking in the mirror: Omg, FRONT PAGE NEWS, I have shapeshifted
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Sailor j- Contouring 101
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obeymequotes · 1 year
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obeymequotes · 1 year
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*Asmo and Levi doing Mc's make-up*
Levi, holding up a make-up sponge: I also brought this at the store because I saw a white woman use it on deviltube
Asmo, passive aggressively use it: And we're blending
Levi: It is a sponge, drenched in the power of Satan
Asmo, still blending: Ready to take some fucking souls, AND RUIN SOME GODDAMN LIVES
Mc, looking in the mirror: Omg, FRONT PAGE NEWS, I have shapeshifted
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Sailor j- Contouring 101
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obeymequotes · 1 year
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Asmo: This is such a bad idea
Levi: Then why are you coming along?
Asmo: One of us need to be able to talk Lucifer out of house arresting us when this goes inevitably wrong.
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obeymequotes · 1 year
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Beel, going over Belphie' resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you're creative
Belphie: Yes
Beel: Okay.... may I know what you create?
Belphie: Problems
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obeymequotes · 3 years
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Levi: I'm hella hungry but also not
Beel: E A T
Levi: I'm sorry is this OUR stomach?
Levi: No so stay out of it!!
Beel, forcing food down his throat: Do not question my authority, I'm coming for your kneecaps
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obeymequotes · 3 years
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Lucifer: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?
Satan, sharpening a knife: Stop romanticizing the past
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obeymequotes · 3 years
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In a text conversation
Asmo: Oh to be in love with pretty motherfuckers
Satan: Oh to be in love with pretty motherfuckers that don't exist
Mammon: Just @ Levi next time why don't you?
Levi: Wtf Mammon
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obeymequotes · 3 years
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Asmo: This body pain may be chronic but this ass is iconic
Lucifer: *heavy sigh*
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obeymequotes · 3 years
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Levi: I feel relaxed
Asmo, painting his nails: Isn't that a good thing? Not to be rude but you are always stres-
Levi: WHAT RESPONSIBILITY HAVE I FORGOTTEN!?!
Asmo: *Heavy sigh*
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obeymequotes · 4 years
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Asmo: I made this friendship braclet for you
Lucifer, awkwardly holding the braclet: You know...I'm not really a jewellery person
Asmo, tearing up: O-oh well- um th-thats ok you don't have to wear it
Lucifer, aggressively putting it on: NO, I'm wearing it forever fuck off
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obeymequotes · 4 years
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Belphie: *Gets a paper cut*
Beel, flipping the table grabbing the paper: HASN'T HE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH
Mc: *sets paper on fire*
Lucifer, staring at them from across the room: what the fuck?!?
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obeymequotes · 4 years
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*In a class about Devildom history*
Mammon: Hey, if someone died of alcohol poisoning can you get drunk if you drink their blood?
Satan: Well no, because the alcohol gets filtered through the liver and it dilutes the alcohol making it not as alcoholic as it used to be
Beel: But what if there is a shit ton of alcohol?
Lucifer: You can't get drunk off someone's blood!
Everyone in the class just noticing the conversation: Wtf?!?!
Belphie: What is even happening, what is the context??
Satan: *still explaining why you can't get drunk off someone else's blood*
Asmo: WhAt?!? How did we get on this topic we're in history!?!
Mc: He asked if someone died of alcohol poisoning can you get drunk if you drink their blood
Asmo: What the actual fuck dude? Who would drink blood?
Levi +Mc: *In unison* Vampires dumbass
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obeymequotes · 4 years
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Levi, being sad: It costs $400 to go see a therapist, it costs $0 to tell myself it be like that sometimes
Asmo, concerned: *whispers softly* No...do you need a hug?
Levi, already sobbing: Please
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obeymequotes · 4 years
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Mammon: Yeah we're friends, but I would fuck you if you asked
Mc: What?
Mammon, blushing: Um...what?
Beelzebub, eating popcorn with ice cream: You said you would fuck them if they asked
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obeymequotes · 4 years
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Diavolo: Fuck the government!
Barbatos:
Lucifer:
Barbatos: I'm sorry I have to tell you this my Lord but you are the government
Satan: You can't fuck over yourself.....unless you're Mammon
Lucifer, sweating aggressively: I may have put that in the wrong context
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obeymequotes · 4 years
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Mammon, angry: I can't believe he said that! I can't believe Lucifer told me that I need to leave Mc alone what the actual-
Belphegor, sitting on the chandelier: Well you do act like a puppy around them
Mammon: When the fuck have you been on Lucifers' side?
Satan, not even looking up from his book: Not on his side, just facts
Mammon: *Thinking for a while*
Mammon: Just to piss off Lucifer, what if we filled this place with glitter and balloons
Satan & Belphegor, in unison: You had us at piss off Lucifer let's go
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