obstinatecondolement

[obstinatecondolement]

I feel like I'm not really a real person sometimes. Like if people were songs by The Turtles, I'm Elenore and everyone else is Happy Together. I'm a pisstake satire and most of the time you can't tell the difference but seem just off enough to throw people off balance.

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Having watched and/or listened to a fair few actual play podcasts at this point, I have the controversial yet brave opinion that almost all "canonical" romances on TTRPG podcasts are Bad Actually, whether they are PC/PC or PC/NPC. NPC/NPC romances are usually fine, but (almost) any time a player character is in the mix it's just... awful. Flaccid and boring at best, awkward and unpleasant at worst.

I don't know if it's that improv is not the best format for this kind of storytelling or something else, but I just... I do not want to watch two platonic work colleagues awkwardly roleplay a romance. All I need is some zesty crumbs and I'll make up the rest in my head. I was raised in the queerbaiting trenches on zesty crumbs, it's fine. Please don't attempt to improve on the crumbs, you'll ruin them.

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Ok so today I was on the bus with another trans guy and we were talking about how hard it is to get testosterone. The waiting lists, the price, all the doctors you have to go to, that kind of stuff. Except, we were calling it ’T’, like you do when you’re both closeted and in public.

Then suddenly the elderly lady sitting behind us was like ‘young men, either I’m going crazy or you both have never heard of supermarkets, they have shelves full of tea there! Do you need directions to one?’

To which my buddy starts to explain, because why not. ‘Well you see, we’re both trans, and�� ’

The lady didn’t wait for him to finish his sentence. ‘Oh no, I don’t mind that at all! Now do you want to know how to get to a place that sells tea? I’m actually heading there right now!’

We let her take us to the supermarket. We let her show us, excitedly, where the tea was. We both bought loads.

#very sweet that you let her have this w fellas

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I feel like I'm not usually super fussy about production values, but I tried so hard to get through an episode of a show that I fell off on a while ago and it was just unwatchably low rent. And, like, it would be fine if it didn't also have ideas above its station about how well it was executing this concept.

#I could also have forgiven the primary school arts and crafts props in this alleged fine art museum #if it weren't for the wall to wall dick van dyke in mary poppins level of bad accents #the episode was set in london and like #... surely there are english actors looking for work in hollywood who you could have cast in these bit parts? #surely

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The paradox in which people are like "just talk to someone uwu" as a silver bullet for any issues caused by mental illness and then when you ever try to talk about it they're like "no, don't say that!" Like. Cool. ¯\_(ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ)_/¯

#everyone thinks me having high insight means I'm going to be making a full and complete recovery in fifteen seconds #and they've thought that for twenty fucking years at this point

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People think being self aware cancels out mental illness. That when you realise your thoughts or behaviours are irrational you just stop having/doing them

Instead what happens if you're extremely self aware and mentally ill is that you just think in a resigned kind of way "I'm being really fucking crazy right now" while being very loudly mentally ill

Sometimes you are able to tell the people around you "oh, you can ignore me rn. I'm just being extremely mentally ill rn. It will eventually pass" and then continue your erratic behaviour. But mostly it's just privately thinking: "well this is embarrassing but I can't turn it off so just gotta deal with it I guess."

It's infuriating honestly

#it's so fucking frustrating #because I can't ever talk about what my brain is doing to me without a thousand 'and I know this isn't true intellectually' caveats #or else people will jump down my throat to say But That's Irrational #and That's Not True Though #and like #I know! #knowing doesn't make me not feel this way! #please let me talk about my experience without scolding me for having it!

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u can’t suck, u can’t fuck, and u don’t know karate

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[ID: Text reading "Caution, topping will be extremely hot!"]

tell me something i don't know brother

[obstinatecondolement]

Finally getting around to watching Dune part 1 and being acutely reminded of how hard teen me latched on to the fact that Paul was a boy who was supposed to have been a daughter. Surely that wasn't foreshadowing anything about the rest of my life.

#I also used to think long and hard about the few male clayr in the old kingdom books #and about witch's sons and any and all [magic boy in archetypically female role] scenarios I could imagine #this was very cis of me

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Unfriendly reminder that "cringe culture is dead" is a pretty hollow statement if you don't extend it to not bullying people who you think are annoying and uncool as well as other people not bullying you.

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im going to complain for a sec about something arbitrary but as expected ppl rbing the news abt greece legalising gay marriage and adoption are being so unfunny abt it like "haha werent they always gay since ancient times" or "nice to see greece embracing tradition" straight up saw multiple people make references to aphrodite or the greek gods like can u shut up 😭 its not even funny you dont know anything abt this country

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We're so sorry, they would say. You were getting along the best that you could without the Vitamin and we were so cruel. Please forgive us.

My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

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I think I have food poisoning 🤢

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#honestly many of these characters #but most of all it's secret 20th thing: harriet m. welsch #I kept a spy notebook and everything

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Level 1: Porn with plot

Level 2: Porn with social commentary

Level 3: Porn with troubling philosophical implications

Level 4: Porn with maddening revelations of humanity’s place in the cosmos

Level 5: Porn with math

#honestly love me some level 5 #astolat has a few like that iirc

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Siobhan was so real for "I'm sorry that you don't have poetry in your heart!"

#'why do you use big words?' #because they're fun! #they sound nice and feel good in my mouth! #(and also often have more precise meanings and I am allergic to forgoing clarity in service of not sounding like data star trek)

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she's evil manipulative two sided and cold to YOU. to ME she's my wife

#I've just never seen that side of her #(badum tish)