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#also let me be crazy for a min but I really fucking wish I was thin again like. #somehow it feels like I would feel less bad about this situation if I was in my old emaciated body rather than in this disgusting average #meatsuit #I don’t even know how much I weight right now but I strongly suspect my bmi to be around 18-18.5 and the mere thought makes me want to die #if I bought new scale batteries and weighed myself I would legit kill myself #not even fucking kidding right now #so not knowing is the only way I have to keep my tiniest bit of sanity left #I fucking hate my life #I wish my brain would stop whatever the fuck it’s been doing since I literally have memory #personal #delete later

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#not to be dramatic but I want to die

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I can’t tell if my relationship is extremely toxic or if this is just how relationships are and it’s just normal tough times everyone goes through

#pov you have never experienced normal human connection so now you can’t discern between painful but ultimately normal conflict and abuse #I genuinely cannot tell if I am being manipulated or if this is normal #personal #do I need help or does he #is loving each other a good excuse to stay together even if we constantly hurt each other #I don’t know

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low-key need to be back on my rexie bullshit for a couple of weeks

#listen this is not as bad as it sounds #gotta do a rexie speedrun #like.. 2/3 weeks at most #i got a comment that sent me fucking spiraling lmao #but it's such a good excuse to 🤩 give in to my deadliest addiction 🤩 #literally fml lmao help #personal #vent #mental health #actually mentally ill #ed relapse #ed not sheeran

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my bf and i came home late at night yesterday and we were so horny that we didn't even make it upstairs, so he pushed me into a secluded corner of the building, yanked my fishnets down and fucked me right then and there 🤤 it was so hard to keep quiet and i came so many times i could barely hold myself up anymore, then he came all over my ass and I had to pull my clothes up to go upstairs while still covered in his cum 🤤🤤🤤

#brain rot alert #he fucked me this morning right after we woke up too #i love the sound he makes when i push back against him nghhhhhhh #true love is your man making sure you've had at least 3 orgasms before he allows himself to cum #facts #nsfw #relationships #dating #semi public sex #dom/sub #d/s dynamic

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i had a look at the ed tags on tumblr and y'all need to drop whatever 2016 shit is going on over there. are we really back with the pro ana tips and the dainty and graceful bullshit??

#yo wake the fuck up #good luck when you're 25 and have the same health problems as your dead grandma #yes i can say that bc its about me #personal #ed #ed tw #ed relapse #vent

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not my disordered ass ending up paying insane bills because i always have the heater on since im always cold

#im really out here being a fucking idiot #ehh #personal #mental health #ed #ed tw #vent #ed relapse

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i love it when my bf eats me out and i cum then he puts my legs over his shoulders and fucks me and i cum then he rolls me over onto my stomach and fucks me from behind and i cum then he lets me ride him and i cum so hard i black out

#i hit the lottery #its the Dick From Heaven #i truly dont know How #pardon the oversharing im just kind of a slut for my man oops #nsfw #relationships

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hypersexuality advice!!

I need advice on how to deal with my hypersexuality because it's getting worse. Main factors are: the spring (idk about y'all, but my libido goes even crazier during spring and summer) and being in a new relationship. I don't want my boyfriend to ever think sex is all I care about and the only form of intimacy I want, because I care about him deeply. But whenever I'm around him my already hypersexual brain can barely manage to focus on anything other than sex. Even when I restrain myself, as soon as I'm alone again I need to get myself off a bunch of times to take the edge off at least a bit, and to be honest it's starting to interfere with my day-to-day life. I have things to do but I can barely focus because my brain is only feeding me sexual thoughts and distracting me from anything else.

What are your strategies for coping with hypersexuality, both in general and in a committed relationship? This is genuinely starting to cause me distress

#please HELP #hypersexuality #trauma #vent #personal #living with bipolar #bipolar #dating #relationships #mental health #ocpd #actually mentally ill #mental illness #mdd #coping #ptsd #cptsd #mania #manic episode #manic depressive

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(whole post is very nsfw, minors DNI)

the bf owes me a new pair of fishnets 🙃

we went to a concert last night and i showed up with chains everywhere, a coll- um, leather choker and my man's beloved fishnets just to be a little shit lol it's always a rush of power to know what effect i have on him, and right on cue he got hard as soon as he saw me. we did kind of behave while at the concert, especially because a friend of his was playing, but man he could not stop staring at me the whole time. he can be a little shy sometimes, and i enjoy finding ways to make him snap and lose control (which worked, because as soon as we stepped out to smoke he had a hand up my skirt 😇)

got a cab home, attempted to change the sheets cause we had messed them up already in the morning lol but couldn't even make it there and just ended up on the bed with me on top of him. i took everything but the fishnets off and he ripped them wide enough so i could sit on his cock and ride him 🥵 i didn't prepare myself and he's big so it hurt a little for the first minute which ngl i enjoy and did it on purpose lol fr can't stop thinking of the way he looked at me as i lowered myself up and down his dick and how it felt when he started snapping his hips up 😩 it's getting me wet all over again just remembering it

he loves going down on me, but i was not expecting for him to suddenly throw me off him, grab my legs to put them on his shoulders and go to town. i came 5 times because the fucker wouldn't let up and wanted to retaliate for me teasing him all night. holy shit i was boneless by the end 🙃 he was getting pretty spent too, so i jerked him off until he came all over my chest and stomach (at least this time i didn't have to wash my hair lol)

it was the first time he fell asleep almost right after sex. i think i broke him, because before falling asleep he talked absolute nonsense for 5 minutes straight, then rolled over and collapsed lol he still did bring me stuff to clean up though, before he fell asleep. this morning i was planning to be good but then again he gets all hot and bothered so easily and it's so hard to resist when he's so big and warm and ready for me 😩 we have the most mind-blowing sex i have ever had, idk if it's because we have a strong emotional bond and we're falling in love w each other but man he makes me cum a minimum of two times every time and a maximum of... I've lost count honestly lol with past partners i always had a little trouble reaching orgasm and usually had to incorporate sex toys to get there, while he can get me off with his hands, his mouth, even achieved the impossible and made me cum just by fucking me, which had never happened to me and was unbelievably hot (also because i was on my stomach with my hands tied behind my back. so 🙃)

now i'm just horny all the time and feel like a teenager lol we've been fucking about two to four times a day for weeks so i think it's time to slow it down a little, if we don't want to get burnt out. but damn i want him all the time, want to make him feel good, i want his hands and mouth all over me 😩 i'm so desperate for this man it's not even funny and the scary part is how much i care for him so I'm happy and scared and horny all at the same time and it's weird but so so good

#nsfw #all the warnings #the things he SAYS to me while he fucks me #he invented dirty talk i think #now im horny and thinking about him last night with the sleeves of his leather jacket pulled up to show off his tattoos #brain FRIED #personal #relationships #bondage #dating

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my man is getting the rest of his sleeve done today and i know i will STRUGGLE because his tattoos already turn me on a ridiculous amount and now there's gonna be MORE and i can't even touch sgajajjdksk

#he already has his hand and forearm tatted he's finishing up the rest of his arm up to the shoulder #he also has neck tattoos #yeah. i know. help me. #personal #tattoos #relationships #nsfw #not really but just in case

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i just had a really weird hook-up experience and i guess i just want someone else's perspective on it because i'm a little shaken up. this is about a sexual encounter so obviously MINORS DNI

context: i am a cis woman and identify as queer, which to me means both being attracted to all genders and also not always fitting into the gender binary as far as presentation/behaviours "typically" associated with femininity. with that out of the way:

i meet this guy tonight for a drink. he asks me what queer means, since it's on my dating profile, and i explain to him what i just said above. we end up at my place and we start kissing and everything. i've always been more into being dominant in bed, and while that isn't the case 100% of the time, it is what i am mostly into. he can clearly tell this but says nothing of it and seems into it. we're kind of in the middle of things when all of a sudden he pulls back and tells me this isn't working. of course i ask him to explain what he means because i was just genuinely confused.

he tells me he isn't used to being with a woman who acts the way i do in bed and i'm like, ok man, we all have different preferences, sorry if i did anything that made you uncomfortable. which, to this point, it's all a little strange but can happen, maybe he just suddenly got cold feet. but then he starts panicking and asking questions about my preferences, to which i clearly say i prefer being dominant in bed. again he asks exactly what i mean, so i explain as best as i can because he didn't even know what i meant when i said bdsm, so i realised this guy was super vanilla and tried to explain the dom/sub dynamic to him. to this, he freaks out further, asks me if i have a strap on and if i had planned it to use it on him. to which i'm like??? no what the fuck this is stuff that you negotiate and that i would never do for a casual hookup??? in the midst of this he's just STARING ME DOWN and i'm genuinely starting to wonder if i have turned green or something because he's looking at me super weird and pointedly in the direction of my lower body. then he asks me if i am a trans woman (he didn't ask the question like this, but in a very transphobic way that i would prefer not to repeat). i am so stunned that i don't reply immediately so he starts going on that he doesn't mean to offend me but he feels weird about the whole queer thing, and me being dominant, and he's into women who "act more like women", which to him meant submissive. i find my voice back to tell him that i am a cis woman and my sexuality, gender identity and kinks/preferences are all very different things. he freaks out again and starts apologizing to which i'm like, it's ok, i'll even give you a cigarette, just. here's your shirt. then he asks if i want to eat something together and internally i'm like??? you just asked me if i was a man and said that me being queer makes you feel weird and like i'm not a "real woman"??? so i tell him that no, i'd just like him to go, to which he replies "ok, but you're not very nice". at this point i'm getting very pissed, so i just tell him "sorry for not being a nice polite woman like you would have liked" and then proceed to stand and watch in silence as he finishes getting dressed and leaves my place, still apologizing for offending me and still very much freaked out.

i genuinely don't know what the fuck happened. is this as simple as a dumb straight dude? did i just get a taste of transphobia even as a cis woman? did i just experience discrimination for being queer and not strictly adhering to gender roles?

i feel so weird about what happened tonight and i kind of hate myself for even going out with this dude. i recently broke up with my boyfriend and i have been going through it a little, but genuinely thought a date and sex might help me get my mind off it for a second, and now i feel like i never want to hear about dating or sex for the next 5 years.

idk i guess i just wanted to know if any of you have had any similar experiences or people reacting weirdly to you being queer/not conforming to the gender binary while in a sexual situation.

#personal #queer #queer woman #gender #dating #queer dating #gender norms #gender noncomformity #gender discourse #gender discrimination #queer discourse #vent #bisexual #wlw #bi women #queer femme

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i had him come up to my place because i didn't wanna go for a fucking ride and he hates being inside so like. make an effort bitch. forgot two empty wine glasses on the table from my date earlier tonight and his face when he saw them was very amusing

im in my slut era ig

ex bf wants to talk so we're going for a drive but i have a hookup planned for tomorrow with a guy i hung out with tonight and was funny enough and also down with being tied up lol

#it feels like he only wants me now that he lost me like bro??? YOU dumped me. get over yourself #idk what to do about the hookup tbf #like i wanna get laid cause its been a minute and my sex drive is pure insanity #but at the same time i dont want revenge sex because thats not a vibe #so i have to sort out my head #personal

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im in my slut era ig

ex bf wants to talk so we're going for a drive but i have a hookup planned for tomorrow with a guy i hung out with tonight and was funny enough and also down with being tied up lol

#sorry not sorry pal you missed your chance #personal

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anyway i give up on romantic relationships does anyone want to buy me gifts so i can be their arm candy at fancy events

#am i kidding? maybe #maybe not actually #i want to punch myself in the face #month of january recap: moved houses my debt got worse finals week i failed one of my exams and now a breakup #mayhaps i need a fucking break #personal #someone save me is2g

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and this relationship too barely made it to the three month mark before imploding. i should get some kind of prize for somehow not being able to make any romantic connection last past that point

#what is next? #hoe phase or obsessive career driven phase? #only time will tell #maybe both #i can multitask #personal #breakup #relationships

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i cannot admit to myself that i am relapsing but i know i am i have been for over a month and im losing weight so fast and i feel so weak and tired and cold and i hate this i hate this i had been doing well for over TWO YEARS and now what the fuck is this god please don't let me go down this road again

#its breaking me and im trying so desperately to stop it but its not working #im scared and dont know what to do #personal #mental health #vent #tw #tw ed #ed relapse #ed things #ed not sheeran #actually mentally ill #mental illness #obsessive #ocpd #relapse #ed