"Hey, Jake. I betcha you can't fit your fat head between those fence posts."
"No way. You're just going to pull my pants down and leave me there like last time. And the time before."
"We promise that we won't pull your pants down this time."
"Swear?"
"Swear we won't pull your pants down."
"Ok. Hold my beer."
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Even though Jake missed his entire weekend warrior training session, he learned several valuable lessons. First, don’t call big girls “big girl” when trying to seduce them in the hotel bar. And second, always tip the room service guy, who could either discretely untie you when he returns to pick up your dirty dishes or post your ass all over social media and leave you tied there for the entire weekend.
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