onichophora

[onichophora]

[onichophora]

[onichophora]

[onichophora]

[onichophora]

imagine: you are chilling in front you your house getting high. along comes an old family friend who you last saw when you were six, you are now in your 50s. after a brief convo where he is kind of a dick to you, he’s like damn you’ve changed :/. and your like yeah bestie it’s been five decades why the fuck are you here. he leaves. later that night a shit ton of people show up and trash your house. just throw and absolute rager. halfway through the family friend from earlier shows up. he announces in full earshot of everyone that he wants you to come with him to rob a bank. you of course say wtf??? one of the people who broke into your house calls you a pussy. another person shoves you a contract which declares if you get shot robbing the bank they will not pay for your funeral. you pass out. when you wake up you find the contract on your table and your house almost completely back to normal. you stare at the contract for a moment and decide, fuck it this is just as a good a midlife crisis than anything.

this is what happened to bilbo baggins

#the hobbit

[onichophora]

#i too love this about bones #bones bones bone

[onichophora]

im in the wrong realm and i think everyone can tell

[onichophora]

#vid #love jumping on the tramp

[onichophora]

[onichophora]

[onichophora]

you call this place "wall greens" yet its walls... are not green? how very pecuilar...

[onichophora]

David Shrigley, This huge cat (2022)

[onichophora]

Is splorpability like, vibes? Less a concrete thing and more just a sense of something? Like how when you look at Plato you get the vibe that you’re in danger? Except instead of danger, it’s if the vibes it evokes are similar to the ones you get from hearing the word splorpability?

[onichophora]

*J.C. Leyendecker looking respectfully from the afterlife*

[onichophora]

[onichophora]

vampires gotta drink blood to survive but prion disease is still a risk. their bodies and minds may be immortal, but not immutable. you encounter a vampire estimated to be fourteen hundred years old, and there's just...so little left of them.

they live in abandoned sheds, dusty attics, dilapidated sewer tunnels, anywhere that won't expose them directly to the sunlight. peering out from the shadows you can see the gaunt face filled with needle-like fangs, and those hollow, twitching eyes searching your features, trying to determine if you are Prey or Not Prey. the only thing they can still recognize. technically they're still alive, yes, but the person they once were died a slow, painful death trapped in that skull.

it takes your balance first, makes your gait unsteady and erratic. then comes the emotional instability, the sudden fits of laughter as common as the bursts of anger. then come the tremors, a constant uneven rumbling that you can feel even now as the ancient vampire rattles the floorboards in the other room. you've seen an old one hunt before. there's no grace to it, no deadly efficiency, it's a frantic, messy affair, all flailing, crawling limbs and gnashing teeth.

when you were turned, you were excited to live forever young and beautiful and sexy and mysterious but in this moment, staring at the withered hand slithering out from the darkness behind the cracked doorway, you remember why they call it a curse

#good stuff #vampires

[onichophora]