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Sometimes when we’re together I see a glimpse of our future. It’s in the way you smile at me when your favorite song comes on or in the way we like the same color. I think it’s the hardest to look away when we sit together in silence.
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The hardest thing I’ve ever done is telling people it’s going to be okay.
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Wondrous Love
Referring to Lutheran Hymnal 543 of the A General Selection of the Newest and Most Admired Hymns and Spiritual Songs Now in Use. 2nd ed, made popular by Jean Ritchie in the 1940s
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There is something hard to escape about memories. Especially when it’s the lake near our house, my love. I see other ponds, lakes and even occasionally the ocean and I can only think of our last moments.
There is something about the water that welcomes lovers, think of Icarus, Ophelia and Antinous. The water became their final resting place but also a memorial to their love in their stories. Icarus was wrapped up into the water as he fell from the sky and was offered safety from the burning sun. Ophelia had used the water as a means to show her devotion and love. Antinous was far more beautiful than any other monument on earth and only the water with its changing waves and tides could ever hold him for eternity.
We stood by the banks of the lake and waded into the cool water. I will remember that morning with the tears burning my already red eyes. My new white dress weighed me down as Juliet’s wedding dress kept her tied into her grave. Your hand never left my own until it was over.
The soft hum of the morning birds call out to us as you dipped your head beneath the water. As if from a distance as I watched your hand slowly slip from mine.
I had promised the night before, to hold your shoulders, not much unlike our first dance at our union. But this dance was more hallow, once your hand had left mine I waited to grab your shoulders. I took a deep breath as the water now reached my hips.
“To bear the dreadful curse of my love.” I whispered as your solemn face finally broke beneath the surface. You smiled brightly one last time, at least you did in my memories and I knew it was time for our final dance.
I waited by the weeping willow tree along the lake's edge, my legs soaked and cold. I had done what you asked but it had cost me everything.
I was empty and hollow and repeated “To bear the dreadful curse of my love.” As I headed back to our home and hopefully to a brighter future.
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How do I even explain my love?
The one who the stars are jealous of.
Whose smile shines brighter than all the jewels on earth.
The one who calls me
Beloved.
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I cut my heart out of my body
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“There is no other thoughts I have but the all consuming mantra, summer lapsed into fall, I thought of my golden face lover in the evening light. I remember your smile feeling warmer than the blanket around our shoulders and even the tea we left on the table.
Just like fall you brought a silent change to my life and one that I learned I can not ignore. I never noticed how quickly fall comes until you left. One day it is sunny and I am collecting the first of my flowers but suddenly I turn around and like a storm I see fall already forming along the edges of the meadows.”
Excerpts from Thoughts and Prose With Last Century’s Glow
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Each autumn I smile and fall into the familiar town of Verona and check in on old friends
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onlyloversleftstanding · 11 months
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Sweet love if only you could leave scars like bitter memories do
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I miss you so but each day your memory fades from my senses and I fight and guard each moment as if it was my last.
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Lift my wrist to see the depth of my tears and sadness.
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Sweet Aphrodite teach me to love my loneliness and the long hours between smiles.
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Solitude is my home but I’ve yet to make it cozy.
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When thirst burns my throat I can only repeat your name to find my relief.
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Rosy fingered dawn has knocked on our window once again and I wonder if she’ll rest a bit longer.
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A whisper in a crowded space often makes me dream it’s you when I turn around.
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I don’t speak at night because I am worried of the echoes. Although the empty space means I’m alone and that worries me not. But there is an even worse fear I have, one who answers me in the night.
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My love I am sorry that I’ve cried oceans for you and now you have drowned.
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