The Mind Cottage Where Lost and Forgotten Things Go
Hullo, Tumblr-verse!
It’s been two years since my last post and yes, I thank my Maker everyday that I’m still well and alive.
I’m proud to say that I have survived the weirdest year in the history of post-modern truth: the year of 2020.
And boy, what a wild ride that year turned out to be! What with Covid-19 pandemic and other mess in between, that happened in my real life. Never have I ever thought that stranger things could outdone the happenings in the year of 2018-2019 in my life, but yeah unfortunately, it did.
It’s like, if and/or when the water flows slowly in my river of life, it must be the sign of “the calm before the storm”.
Anyways, this time I want to share my thoughts on my grand new year’s resolutions for 2021 which is “to let go, let God, and move on.”
To tell you the truth, I’m someone who easily share sentimental values in everything that I do or own. I can spend a whole day trying to pull a KonMari method, cleaning stuffs in my room only to realize that I only cleaned it for like a few hours at first, and spent the rest of the day actually reminiscing the memories that I shared with those stuffs. Hence, I didn’t throw out most of that “junks” since I felt those stuffs ((sparked joy)).
I know, this is extremely counterproductive and believe me, this embarrassed me to no end.
I have long realized that this is a bad habit that would haunt me later in life, but I didn’t expect my sentimental attachment to worldly stuffs, was actually still the tip of the iceberg in my inner self journey.
I just realized that, NEWS FLASH:
I actually store every memories, every reminiscences, every scars, every wounds, both physical and psychological ones, not in those worldly stuffs, but in the most secluded part of my brain: My Mind Cottage Where The Lost and Forgotten Things Go.
People who know me in real life tend to marvel at my knowledge of trivia.
My brain has difficulties in remembering advanced maths or those numbers or sciences-related stuffs, but it absorbed trivial things, just like how sponges easily absorb water.
I can still remember one of my first memories from when I was still a toddler very vividly, but I can’t recall the formula for the circumference of circles that I used to study in high school. Isn’t this very strange?
I used to think this is the only advantageous quality that I possessed, little did I know that this particular Mind Cottage is like a double-ended sword that could both save me and kill me. And yes, the continuation of my life largely depends on how I swing that sword.
Recently, I fear that the sword tried to choke my throat, and it wasn’t done against my will.
Just like how the water flows out of the drainage when the pipes are broken, a few weeks ago, I unintentionally let my guard down when I faced the source of all the things that went awry in my life.
And then BOOM! All those awful memories that I have buried in the deepest hole of my mind cottage, started to rise and then came out with full force.
It hurts.
Oh, it hurts so bad, as if it was still fresh from the oven of hell’s kitchen.
It didn’t help that what I buried was not the marks of physical scars, it was mostly psychological wounds that had no stitches whatsoever. I spent some time in agony not knowing what to do with it, I tried to shake off the unpleasant feelings that engulfed my chest, and to attack the day as per usual, but to no avail.
Until today.
And you know what the strangest thing is?
The thing that can cure me from this psychological torment also comes from the same mind cottage, but from different room.
This room is no hell’s kitchen, it’s the room of warm and fuzzy feelings. The room that gets the most rays of sunshine all year round.
What makes this discovery becomes even more miraculous is that I actually have to let go of a few things first, in order to find the keys back to that warm and fuzzy room. I have to let go of one of my oldest possessions, the one that have stayed with me from my teenage years.
At first, I didn’t want to let go… (I’m sentimentally attached to my stuffs, remember?)
But then, I closed my eyes. In my mind, I scrolled through the memories and reminiscences that I stored in that object, all the contents and faces that have made me inexplicably happy and entertained. That’s when the Eureka moment hit me:
“Hey, hang on.. I can still remember all those wonderful things so clearly, even without having to hold the object physically. Even without me opening the object, and sorting out the contents directly in person, I feel my face beaming with a smile when I imagined those things all over again, just like the first time I experienced it.”
Just like how I still keep my warm and fuzzy room in my mind cottage after all these years, the hell’s kitchen will still always be there too, for as long as I live.
It’s only a matter of:
Whether I choose to dwell on those awful memories and experiences in the hell’s kitchen until it lingers in my brain and overshadow my focus from the warm and fuzzy room and other wonderful rooms that can be build in my mind cottage in the future, or I choose to take the precious lessons that I had learned in the hell’s kitchen, albeit the hard way, and let it go the way it supposed to go, then move on and go on my merry way for brighter days ahead.
So yes, today is a very special day, indeed. The day when I truly, whole-heartedly, learned the meaning of “let go, let God, and move on”, and I’m so READY to put this moves into action!
Lastly, to my readers (or just, whoever stumbled upon this post):
I sincerely wish that you may find your keys back to your warm and fuzzy rooms too and please do remember to stay away from the hell’s kitchen.
Here’s to more rays of sunshine for the mind cottage in the near future!
8 notes
·
View notes