ot7always

[ot7always]

a quick update

hey everyone - as you may or may not have noticed, i’ve been pretty quiet on this site lately.

to be honest, it’s mostly because i’ve been having a really rough go of things recently, so i haven’t had the energy to interact much on this site. i promise i’m not ignoring your asks or messages or tags on purpose, and that i will get respond to everything when i’m feeling better. that’s a promise and guarantee!

i’ll probably maintain my radio silence for a while longer while i sort myself out mentally. 

i’m still working on some fics, and still making plans for future fics. this isn’t a writing hiatus by any means - more that i’m not pushing myself to interact on here while i’m struggling a bit.

thank you to those who have sent me kind messages over the holidays. i hope you’re having an amazing holiday season and a happy new year soon!

#updates

[ot7always]

I just wanted to give a thank you to everyone who sent in milestone requests!! I selected 1 prompt using a randomizer and I'll be working on that one after my holiday collab is complete!

I don't want to give out too many clues but I can confirm that it's a Yoongi fic and will probably be under 5k.

Depending on how busy I am early next year, I may do another request after writing Fractured pt 4.

Thanks again for participating!! I love seeing all of your amazing ideas ❤❤

[ot7always]

Fractured (Bonus A)

These bonus chapters are not essential to understanding the main plot of the series. However, they exist to expand upon the backstories of different characters and give insight into their relationships.

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 1.4k

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Mafia AU, angst, fluff, (future) smut

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of guns/violence/death, unhealthy coping mechanisms

Rating: 18+

Summary: You’d always known something was strange and different about your “family,” but it wasn’t as though your environment encouraged curiosity from you. You thought you wanted to know all the answers, but nobody ever told you that the more you learned the more pieces of yourself you would leave behind.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait on the next part of this series, life has been super super hectic! I debated whether I wanted to post part 4 before or after this bonus chapter, but for the sake of characterization and the fact that I know some of you guys are interested, I decided to do this first. But don’t worry – part 4 will be coming soon regardless!

Chronologically, this chapter takes place from Yoongi’s perspective in Chapter 2. 

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

–

He didn’t even plan to go to the gym. But for some reason, the loudest room somehow had the worst soundproofing in the entire house.

He had only gone outside for a quick breather before heading up to rest, but muffled grunts reached his ears before he made it anywhere near the stairs.

There was no question who they belonged to, and his body turned back toward the gym door before he’d even consciously decided to take a look. Not that there was ever any chance that he would leave you there alone.

He was sure you would hate that he felt the need to check on you, but he couldn’t help it. You had a habit of going too hard too fast and suffering for it later. He told himself that it was investigating for everyone’s best interest – that you had a mission at dawn, and you needed to be fully intact and rested. Not because his heart lurched at the notion of you suffering in there alone, pushing your body past its limit with that empty, lost look in your eyes.

Sneaking in without catching your attention was easy. He doubted that slipping in through the door and silently closing it behind him was even necessary. Not with the way you were going at that punching bag, your forehead glistening with sweat. He couldn’t fully see your expression from his angle, but with the way your jaw was clenched, face screwed up almost to hold back tears, he doubted you were fully present.

It wasn’t his first time finding you like this. Sometimes you’d run laps. Sometimes you’d do so many push-ups his body hurt just looking at you. Sometimes he’d even find you shooting target after target in the shooting range one building over.

But more than anything, you boxed.

You’d told him once that the repetitive sound of glove on punching bag lulled you into the best trance.

With the way your words hit him in the gut that day, perhaps he would have been better off not asking.

Keep reading

#icymi

[ot7always]

Fractured (Bonus A)

These bonus chapters are not essential to understanding the main plot of the series. However, they exist to expand upon the backstories of different characters and give insight into their relationships.

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 1.4k

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Mafia AU, angst, fluff, (future) smut

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of guns/violence/death, unhealthy coping mechanisms

Rating: 18+

Summary: You’d always known something was strange and different about your “family,” but it wasn’t as though your environment encouraged curiosity from you. You thought you wanted to know all the answers, but nobody ever told you that the more you learned the more pieces of yourself you would leave behind.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait on the next part of this series, life has been super super hectic! I debated whether I wanted to post part 4 before or after this bonus chapter, but for the sake of characterization and the fact that I know some of you guys are interested, I decided to do this first. But don’t worry – part 4 will be coming soon regardless!

Chronologically, this chapter takes place from Yoongi’s perspective in Chapter 2. 

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

–

He didn’t even plan to go to the gym. But for some reason, the loudest room somehow had the worst soundproofing in the entire house.

He had only gone outside for a quick breather before heading up to rest, but muffled grunts reached his ears before he made it anywhere near the stairs.

There was no question who they belonged to, and his body turned back toward the gym door before he’d even consciously decided to take a look. Not that there was ever any chance that he would leave you there alone.

He was sure you would hate that he felt the need to check on you, but he couldn’t help it. You had a habit of going too hard too fast and suffering for it later. He told himself that it was investigating for everyone’s best interest – that you had a mission at dawn, and you needed to be fully intact and rested. Not because his heart lurched at the notion of you suffering in there alone, pushing your body past its limit with that empty, lost look in your eyes.

Sneaking in without catching your attention was easy. He doubted that slipping in through the door and silently closing it behind him was even necessary. Not with the way you were going at that punching bag, your forehead glistening with sweat. He couldn’t fully see your expression from his angle, but with the way your jaw was clenched, face screwed up almost to hold back tears, he doubted you were fully present.

It wasn’t his first time finding you like this. Sometimes you’d run laps. Sometimes you’d do so many push-ups his body hurt just looking at you. Sometimes he’d even find you shooting target after target in the shooting range one building over.

But more than anything, you boxed.

You’d told him once that the repetitive sound of glove on punching bag lulled you into the best trance.

With the way your words hit him in the gut that day, perhaps he would have been better off not asking.

Keep reading

#icymi

[ot7always]

I read in the dead of night when you first posted it, and here I am, days later, STILL thinking about it. It was so good!! Amazingly written!

!!!! You absolute sweetheart!!! It's amazing to see that it had a lasting impact on you, thank you so much ❤❤❤

#ask #anon

[ot7always]

KHARLIIII 😭😭 thank u as always for reading!!! Writing that memory hurt me too, I'm so attached to these characters and this is only the beginning.

I can't wait till I can post Part 4!

Fractured (Bonus A)

These bonus chapters are not essential to understanding the main plot of the series. However, they exist to expand upon the backstories of different characters and give insight into their relationships.

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 1.4k

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Mafia AU, angst, fluff, (future) smut

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of guns/violence/death, unhealthy coping mechanisms

Rating: 18+

Summary: You’d always known something was strange and different about your “family,” but it wasn’t as though your environment encouraged curiosity from you. You thought you wanted to know all the answers, but nobody ever told you that the more you learned the more pieces of yourself you would leave behind.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait on the next part of this series, life has been super super hectic! I debated whether I wanted to post part 4 before or after this bonus chapter, but for the sake of characterization and the fact that I know some of you guys are interested, I decided to do this first. But don’t worry – part 4 will be coming soon regardless!

Chronologically, this chapter takes place from Yoongi’s perspective in Chapter 2. 

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

–

He didn’t even plan to go to the gym. But for some reason, the loudest room somehow had the worst soundproofing in the entire house.

He had only gone outside for a quick breather before heading up to rest, but muffled grunts reached his ears before he made it anywhere near the stairs.

There was no question who they belonged to, and his body turned back toward the gym door before he’d even consciously decided to take a look. Not that there was ever any chance that he would leave you there alone.

He was sure you would hate that he felt the need to check on you, but he couldn’t help it. You had a habit of going too hard too fast and suffering for it later. He told himself that it was investigating for everyone’s best interest – that you had a mission at dawn, and you needed to be fully intact and rested. Not because his heart lurched at the notion of you suffering in there alone, pushing your body past its limit with that empty, lost look in your eyes.

Sneaking in without catching your attention was easy. He doubted that slipping in through the door and silently closing it behind him was even necessary. Not with the way you were going at that punching bag, your forehead glistening with sweat. He couldn’t fully see your expression from his angle, but with the way your jaw was clenched, face screwed up almost to hold back tears, he doubted you were fully present.

It wasn’t his first time finding you like this. Sometimes you’d run laps. Sometimes you’d do so many push-ups his body hurt just looking at you. Sometimes he’d even find you shooting target after target in the shooting range one building over.

But more than anything, you boxed.

You’d told him once that the repetitive sound of glove on punching bag lulled you into the best trance.

With the way your words hit him in the gut that day, perhaps he would have been better off not asking.

Keep reading

[ot7always]

All I Want Is You(ngi)

pairing: yoongi x reader

wc: 2.5k

genre: fluff, established relationship

warnings: alcohol consumption

summary: Yoongi takes his baby out to sing karaoke the night before Christmas with the two Seoks. It’s a riot with drunken caroling (read: hollering) but he’s so in love that he doesn’t care.

a/n: My part of the SNOWLLAB with a super lovely bunch. Pls do yoself a favor and read everyone’s stories when they drop cause I promis it’ll be amazing. <3 A big thank you to Willow for pulling this crew together. A big thank you to Willow for the prompt inspo. A big thank you to Willow for creating the banner. A big thank you to Willow for beta reading my lil story and fixing up all the lil pieces and praising me….. So basically this is one big love letter to Willow. Thanks for being the best and most amazing little holibean 💙💚

Here he is now, currently regretting his inability to ever say no to your whims as he watches you skip with a couple of slips and twisted ankles along the way to the front of the small darkened room and snatch the mic off its stand. You’re bent over the karaoke machine, clumsily swiping the screen to find the song you want. After several more swipes, you squeal excitedly… and then he hears it. The reason for your excitement. The all too familiar jingling of church and sleigh bells elicits an embarrassed groan from him. You turn to face your small audience and after taking an unreasonably deep breath, you close your eyes and sing.

“I… don’t want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need…”

“Sing it girl!” Hoseok cheers, thrusting a newly opened glass bottle into the air.

“Aaall I want for Christmas…”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT Y/N?!” Hoseok shrieks over the music.

“…iiiiiiss YOOOOUU…NGIII!!!” You hunch over to belt out the last note and your hair falls over your face but he doesn’t need to see you to know your features are scrunched up in order to sing past your lung capacity.

Keep reading

#first completed fic of the snowllab!!!! #go give mai all the love !

[ot7always]

Fractured (Bonus A)

These bonus chapters are not essential to understanding the main plot of the series. However, they exist to expand upon the backstories of different characters and give insight into their relationships.

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 1.4k

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Mafia AU, angst, fluff, (future) smut

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of guns/violence/death, unhealthy coping mechanisms

Rating: 18+

Summary: You’d always known something was strange and different about your “family,” but it wasn’t as though your environment encouraged curiosity from you. You thought you wanted to know all the answers, but nobody ever told you that the more you learned the more pieces of yourself you would leave behind.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait on the next part of this series, life has been super super hectic! I debated whether I wanted to post part 4 before or after this bonus chapter, but for the sake of characterization and the fact that I know some of you guys are interested, I decided to do this first. But don’t worry – part 4 will be coming soon regardless!

Chronologically, this chapter takes place from Yoongi’s perspective in Chapter 2. 

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

–

He didn’t even plan to go to the gym. But for some reason, the loudest room somehow had the worst soundproofing in the entire house.

He had only gone outside for a quick breather before heading up to rest, but muffled grunts reached his ears before he made it anywhere near the stairs.

There was no question who they belonged to, and his body turned back toward the gym door before he’d even consciously decided to take a look. Not that there was ever any chance that he would leave you there alone.

He was sure you would hate that he felt the need to check on you, but he couldn’t help it. You had a habit of going too hard too fast and suffering for it later. He told himself that it was investigating for everyone’s best interest – that you had a mission at dawn, and you needed to be fully intact and rested. Not because his heart lurched at the notion of you suffering in there alone, pushing your body past its limit with that empty, lost look in your eyes.

Sneaking in without catching your attention was easy. He doubted that slipping in through the door and silently closing it behind him was even necessary. Not with the way you were going at that punching bag, your forehead glistening with sweat. He couldn’t fully see your expression from his angle, but with the way your jaw was clenched, face screwed up almost to hold back tears, he doubted you were fully present.

It wasn’t his first time finding you like this. Sometimes you’d run laps. Sometimes you’d do so many push-ups his body hurt just looking at you. Sometimes he’d even find you shooting target after target in the shooting range one building over.

But more than anything, you boxed.

You’d told him once that the repetitive sound of glove on punching bag lulled you into the best trance.

With the way your words hit him in the gut that day, perhaps he would have been better off not asking.

Keep reading

#icymi

[ot7always]

Fractured (Bonus A)

These bonus chapters are not essential to understanding the main plot of the series. However, they exist to expand upon the backstories of different characters and give insight into their relationships.

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 1.4k

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Mafia AU, angst, fluff, (future) smut

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of guns/violence/death, unhealthy coping mechanisms

Rating: 18+

Summary: You’d always known something was strange and different about your “family,” but it wasn’t as though your environment encouraged curiosity from you. You thought you wanted to know all the answers, but nobody ever told you that the more you learned the more pieces of yourself you would leave behind.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait on the next part of this series, life has been super super hectic! I debated whether I wanted to post part 4 before or after this bonus chapter, but for the sake of characterization and the fact that I know some of you guys are interested, I decided to do this first. But don’t worry – part 4 will be coming soon regardless!

Chronologically, this chapter takes place from Yoongi’s perspective in Chapter 2. 

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

–

He didn’t even plan to go to the gym. But for some reason, the loudest room somehow had the worst soundproofing in the entire house.

He had only gone outside for a quick breather before heading up to rest, but muffled grunts reached his ears before he made it anywhere near the stairs.

There was no question who they belonged to, and his body turned back toward the gym door before he’d even consciously decided to take a look. Not that there was ever any chance that he would leave you there alone.

He was sure you would hate that he felt the need to check on you, but he couldn’t help it. You had a habit of going too hard too fast and suffering for it later. He told himself that it was investigating for everyone’s best interest – that you had a mission at dawn, and you needed to be fully intact and rested. Not because his heart lurched at the notion of you suffering in there alone, pushing your body past its limit with that empty, lost look in your eyes.

Sneaking in without catching your attention was easy. He doubted that slipping in through the door and silently closing it behind him was even necessary. Not with the way you were going at that punching bag, your forehead glistening with sweat. He couldn’t fully see your expression from his angle, but with the way your jaw was clenched, face screwed up almost to hold back tears, he doubted you were fully present.

It wasn’t his first time finding you like this. Sometimes you’d run laps. Sometimes you’d do so many push-ups his body hurt just looking at you. Sometimes he’d even find you shooting target after target in the shooting range one building over.

But more than anything, you boxed.

You’d told him once that the repetitive sound of glove on punching bag lulled you into the best trance.

With the way your words hit him in the gut that day, perhaps he would have been better off not asking.

Keep reading

#icymi

[ot7always]

WILLOW your kind words always make me feel 10000x better about my fics, thank you so much as always ❤❤❤ I can't wait to explore these characters some moreeee

Fractured (Bonus A)

These bonus chapters are not essential to understanding the main plot of the series. However, they exist to expand upon the backstories of different characters and give insight into their relationships.

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 1.4k

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Mafia AU, angst, fluff, (future) smut

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of guns/violence/death, unhealthy coping mechanisms

Rating: 18+

Summary: You’d always known something was strange and different about your “family,” but it wasn’t as though your environment encouraged curiosity from you. You thought you wanted to know all the answers, but nobody ever told you that the more you learned the more pieces of yourself you would leave behind.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait on the next part of this series, life has been super super hectic! I debated whether I wanted to post part 4 before or after this bonus chapter, but for the sake of characterization and the fact that I know some of you guys are interested, I decided to do this first. But don’t worry – part 4 will be coming soon regardless!

Chronologically, this chapter takes place from Yoongi’s perspective in Chapter 2. 

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

–

He didn’t even plan to go to the gym. But for some reason, the loudest room somehow had the worst soundproofing in the entire house.

He had only gone outside for a quick breather before heading up to rest, but muffled grunts reached his ears before he made it anywhere near the stairs.

There was no question who they belonged to, and his body turned back toward the gym door before he’d even consciously decided to take a look. Not that there was ever any chance that he would leave you there alone.

He was sure you would hate that he felt the need to check on you, but he couldn’t help it. You had a habit of going too hard too fast and suffering for it later. He told himself that it was investigating for everyone’s best interest – that you had a mission at dawn, and you needed to be fully intact and rested. Not because his heart lurched at the notion of you suffering in there alone, pushing your body past its limit with that empty, lost look in your eyes.

Sneaking in without catching your attention was easy. He doubted that slipping in through the door and silently closing it behind him was even necessary. Not with the way you were going at that punching bag, your forehead glistening with sweat. He couldn’t fully see your expression from his angle, but with the way your jaw was clenched, face screwed up almost to hold back tears, he doubted you were fully present.

It wasn’t his first time finding you like this. Sometimes you’d run laps. Sometimes you’d do so many push-ups his body hurt just looking at you. Sometimes he’d even find you shooting target after target in the shooting range one building over.

But more than anything, you boxed.

You’d told him once that the repetitive sound of glove on punching bag lulled you into the best trance.

With the way your words hit him in the gut that day, perhaps he would have been better off not asking.

Keep reading

[ot7always]

NO IM IN LOVE WITH U

Your excitement makes me 100000x more excited 😭😭😭

Fractured (Bonus A)

These bonus chapters are not essential to understanding the main plot of the series. However, they exist to expand upon the backstories of different characters and give insight into their relationships.

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 1.4k

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Mafia AU, angst, fluff, (future) smut

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of guns/violence/death, unhealthy coping mechanisms

Rating: 18+

Summary: You’d always known something was strange and different about your “family,” but it wasn’t as though your environment encouraged curiosity from you. You thought you wanted to know all the answers, but nobody ever told you that the more you learned the more pieces of yourself you would leave behind.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait on the next part of this series, life has been super super hectic! I debated whether I wanted to post part 4 before or after this bonus chapter, but for the sake of characterization and the fact that I know some of you guys are interested, I decided to do this first. But don’t worry – part 4 will be coming soon regardless!

Chronologically, this chapter takes place from Yoongi’s perspective in Chapter 2. 

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

–

He didn’t even plan to go to the gym. But for some reason, the loudest room somehow had the worst soundproofing in the entire house.

He had only gone outside for a quick breather before heading up to rest, but muffled grunts reached his ears before he made it anywhere near the stairs.

There was no question who they belonged to, and his body turned back toward the gym door before he’d even consciously decided to take a look. Not that there was ever any chance that he would leave you there alone.

He was sure you would hate that he felt the need to check on you, but he couldn’t help it. You had a habit of going too hard too fast and suffering for it later. He told himself that it was investigating for everyone’s best interest – that you had a mission at dawn, and you needed to be fully intact and rested. Not because his heart lurched at the notion of you suffering in there alone, pushing your body past its limit with that empty, lost look in your eyes.

Sneaking in without catching your attention was easy. He doubted that slipping in through the door and silently closing it behind him was even necessary. Not with the way you were going at that punching bag, your forehead glistening with sweat. He couldn’t fully see your expression from his angle, but with the way your jaw was clenched, face screwed up almost to hold back tears, he doubted you were fully present.

It wasn’t his first time finding you like this. Sometimes you’d run laps. Sometimes you’d do so many push-ups his body hurt just looking at you. Sometimes he’d even find you shooting target after target in the shooting range one building over.

But more than anything, you boxed.

You’d told him once that the repetitive sound of glove on punching bag lulled you into the best trance.

With the way your words hit him in the gut that day, perhaps he would have been better off not asking.

Keep reading

[ot7always]

Taglist: @shere-khan-the-lizard  @wwilloww  @propinqxity @yeonkiminnie @haruyai @blondie1393 @loveyoongles @deathkat657 @chiminies-noona @jinpanman @sugamonster22 @angstyyoongi

Fractured (Bonus A)

These bonus chapters are not essential to understanding the main plot of the series. However, they exist to expand upon the backstories of different characters and give insight into their relationships.

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 1.4k

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Mafia AU, angst, fluff, (future) smut

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of guns/violence/death, unhealthy coping mechanisms

Rating: 18+

Summary: You’d always known something was strange and different about your “family,” but it wasn’t as though your environment encouraged curiosity from you. You thought you wanted to know all the answers, but nobody ever told you that the more you learned the more pieces of yourself you would leave behind.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait on the next part of this series, life has been super super hectic! I debated whether I wanted to post part 4 before or after this bonus chapter, but for the sake of characterization and the fact that I know some of you guys are interested, I decided to do this first. But don’t worry – part 4 will be coming soon regardless!

Chronologically, this chapter takes place from Yoongi’s perspective in Chapter 2. 

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

–

He didn’t even plan to go to the gym. But for some reason, the loudest room somehow had the worst soundproofing in the entire house.

He had only gone outside for a quick breather before heading up to rest, but muffled grunts reached his ears before he made it anywhere near the stairs.

There was no question who they belonged to, and his body turned back toward the gym door before he’d even consciously decided to take a look. Not that there was ever any chance that he would leave you there alone.

He was sure you would hate that he felt the need to check on you, but he couldn’t help it. You had a habit of going too hard too fast and suffering for it later. He told himself that it was investigating for everyone’s best interest – that you had a mission at dawn, and you needed to be fully intact and rested. Not because his heart lurched at the notion of you suffering in there alone, pushing your body past its limit with that empty, lost look in your eyes.

Sneaking in without catching your attention was easy. He doubted that slipping in through the door and silently closing it behind him was even necessary. Not with the way you were going at that punching bag, your forehead glistening with sweat. He couldn’t fully see your expression from his angle, but with the way your jaw was clenched, face screwed up almost to hold back tears, he doubted you were fully present.

It wasn’t his first time finding you like this. Sometimes you’d run laps. Sometimes you’d do so many push-ups his body hurt just looking at you. Sometimes he’d even find you shooting target after target in the shooting range one building over.

But more than anything, you boxed.

You’d told him once that the repetitive sound of glove on punching bag lulled you into the best trance.

With the way your words hit him in the gut that day, perhaps he would have been better off not asking.

Keep reading

[ot7always]

Fractured (Bonus A)

These bonus chapters are not essential to understanding the main plot of the series. However, they exist to expand upon the backstories of different characters and give insight into their relationships.

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 1.4k

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Mafia AU, angst, fluff, (future) smut

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of guns/violence/death, unhealthy coping mechanisms

Rating: 18+

Summary: You’d always known something was strange and different about your “family,” but it wasn’t as though your environment encouraged curiosity from you. You thought you wanted to know all the answers, but nobody ever told you that the more you learned the more pieces of yourself you would leave behind.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait on the next part of this series, life has been super super hectic! I debated whether I wanted to post part 4 before or after this bonus chapter, but for the sake of characterization and the fact that I know some of you guys are interested, I decided to do this first. But don’t worry – part 4 will be coming soon regardless!

Chronologically, this chapter takes place from Yoongi’s perspective in Chapter 2. 

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

--

He didn’t even plan to go to the gym. But for some reason, the loudest room somehow had the worst soundproofing in the entire house.

He had only gone outside for a quick breather before heading up to rest, but muffled grunts reached his ears before he made it anywhere near the stairs.

There was no question who they belonged to, and his body turned back toward the gym door before he’d even consciously decided to take a look. Not that there was ever any chance that he would leave you there alone.

He was sure you would hate that he felt the need to check on you, but he couldn’t help it. You had a habit of going too hard too fast and suffering for it later. He told himself that it was investigating for everyone’s best interest – that you had a mission at dawn, and you needed to be fully intact and rested. Not because his heart lurched at the notion of you suffering in there alone, pushing your body past its limit with that empty, lost look in your eyes.

Sneaking in without catching your attention was easy. He doubted that slipping in through the door and silently closing it behind him was even necessary. Not with the way you were going at that punching bag, your forehead glistening with sweat. He couldn’t fully see your expression from his angle, but with the way your jaw was clenched, face screwed up almost to hold back tears, he doubted you were fully present.

It wasn’t his first time finding you like this. Sometimes you’d run laps. Sometimes you’d do so many push-ups his body hurt just looking at you. Sometimes he’d even find you shooting target after target in the shooting range one building over.

But more than anything, you boxed.

You’d told him once that the repetitive sound of glove on punching bag lulled you into the best trance.

With the way your words hit him in the gut that day, perhaps he would have been better off not asking.

Though, you hadn’t always used this as an escape. At least, he didn’t think so. Not with the way you used to laugh and joke with him in that very spot maybe 5 or 6 years ago. Before they stole that ecstatic grin from your face, your eyes squinting slightly at the corners. When was the last time he saw that smile on your face?

He winced at the sight of your bare fists hitting the punching bag with a concerningly loud thud, feeling as though he could hear your knuckles splitting at this very moment.

The entire scenario drudged up a memory that typically remained buried deep in his subconscious – it hurt too much to think that he might have witnessed the turning point of your entire character.

He’d found you almost exactly like this.

He knew something was wrong as soon as you returned home.

If he didn’t know from personal experience, your silence was telling enough. The way you kept scratching at your hands, breaths shakily leaving your lips. He hadn’t ever seen you so uneasy, so fearful.

It fucked you up, witnessing your first murder.

It was a mistake letting you out of his sight before he could make sure you were okay. Because as soon as he went to his room to clean up, he couldn’t find you anywhere.

You weren’t in your room, weren’t in anyone else’s room, weren’t in any of the bathrooms.

He made it through almost the entire property before he noticed light coming through the cracks of the gym door from the end of the hallway.

He didn’t know anyone else that came back from something physically taxing just to work out more.

When he entered the room, you didn’t even respond to his presence.

Instead, your gloves hit the punching bag in a flurry of movements, but that’s not what stuck out to him.

What he was entirely focused on was the tears streaking down your face, your teeth biting into your bottom lip hard enough that he was sure you must be bleeding.

He had planned to quietly approach you to get your attention, not wanting to add to the anxiety you were already feeling. But before he could take one step, you ended your movements with one big punch, accompanied by a noise somewhere between a sob and a shriek before whipping the gloves to the ground.

He couldn’t help the way he jumped, but as soon as he saw you muffle a scream into your hands, it was as though he was on autopilot.

You jumped when his hands made contact with your shoulders, but you didn’t resist when he pulled you into his arms, cradling your head as you shook like a leaf. Luckily, that meant you didn’t see the way his eyes teared up, too.

“Yoongi,” you choked out, tears wetting his shirt as you gripped his waist weakly.

“I know,” he whispered, staying silent as you cried, his hand rubbing gentle circles into your back. He wished he could do more, but the reality was that he couldn’t fix this for you.

He would just have to be there.

He didn’t know how long he stood there – long enough for him to feel the strain of holding up your weight. But he hardly noticed.

Eventually, you settled down enough to pull away slightly, his own pained gaze meeting yours. Your faces were close enough for him to fully take in the red of your eyes behind the glassiness of your tears.

“How?” you breathed, taking a moment to wipe at your eyes before looking back at him imploringly. “How do you do it?”

Your question caught him off guard, his mind wracking for something to say. You didn’t say exactly what you meant, but he was sure he could guess.

How can you keep killing? How do you live with the guilt?

“I have to.”

A cheap answer, even if it was true. There wasn’t a chance that he could escape this life, not now. Not when he was next in line for the family inheritance. Failure to work meant death – Bangtan had no shortage of means to take him out within days of running away.

With the way your face fell even as you nodded, you were very clearly not satisfied with his answer. But the reality was that he couldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear – that it went away, that you stopped caring, that it got better.

Because it didn’t - you just got better at blocking out your humanity. Was that considered ‘better’?

“I didn’t even do it,” you murmured, looking at your hands with a shaky breath. “I didn’t even pull the trigger and it hurts. It hurts so much. He looked so afraid...”

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, taking your trembling hands into his own. “You’ll get better at blocking it out.”

You closed your eyes as you took a deep breath, your hands breaking free from his own to rub roughly at your face. You stayed like that long enough to concern him, but you turned around before he could reach out for you.

Your hands clenched into fists at your side, and at first, he thought you were about to cry again. Until he heard your voice.

“I’ll get better at blocking it out,” you said, voice almost robotic, entirely defeated. Devoid of emotion. But the feelings weren’t gone. You’d just buried them as you always did. “You're right.”

It should have scared him then, but he thought it was normal for you. Everyone dealt with pain differently, and you always tended to retreat into yourself when something greatly upset you. But you always came back to him the next day, smiling with a hop in your step as if it never happened.

Until you didn’t.

If he could go back and change that day, he would do it in a heartbeat. He’d spent endless nights replaying that scenario in his head, wondering what he could have said, what he could have done to make it better.

But he couldn’t change the past, couldn’t fix his mistakes. He could only be there for you now, would only offer what you would accept. And maybe one day you’d open up to him again.

The sound of a pained hiss as your fist hit the bag broke him free of his thoughts. He sighed deeply – you must have split your knuckles. In fact, it would be a wonder if you hadn’t dislocated a finger by now.

Straightening up, he stuck his hands in his pockets as though he had just casually walked into the room. Doing his best to dispel the sadness and regret, he called out to you.

“The gloves exist for a reason, you know.”

--

Series Masterlist

#houseofddaeng #btsgoldnet #btsguild #ficswithluv #heartsforbts #hyunglinenetwork #magicshopnet #mikrogalaxynet #mygsnet #suganetwork #yoongi x reader #bts x reader #yoongi angst #bts angst #yoongi fluff #bts fluff #bts fic #bts fanfic

[ot7always]

FHKFDLGHFD when having people over isn’t deadly anymore come over and i’ll make u some maccy cheeseeee

:(( my best friend sent me a pic of some maccy cheese she made so i’m here to say i miss @ot7always :(( my maccy cheese iced coffee queen :(( i hope ur doing well

[ot7always]

Hi Everyone!

I want to thank you for following me and reading my work. 

The milestone, in my opinion, is about you peepadoodles who are most likely following me for my stories. So…

I am currently accepting asks for ALL THREE of the activities listed below!

You can do any of them between 12/15-12/19:

Reading Out Loud: At most, this will be 500-800 words aloud (could you imagine reading 100k of Hooked? No thank you)! You need to tell me the fic and the part of the story.

Ask My Muse: Ask my characters questions. You need to specify the character (i.e. Hooked!Namjoon). Please be respectful!

Drabbles based on my fics: Maybe there was a scene mentioned, a character relationship, etc that you wanted to know more about! Please tell me the fic title and briefly what you are wondering about. (Please provide more info than “OMLOY!Jin smut!” Like what am I supposed to do with that)

Open until 12/19! Some may take a few days to respond to (like the drabbles).

#congrats bby!!!!! #go support maxi on their milestone!!! #request things !

[ot7always]

just finished the fractured bonus chapter, i should have it edited and posted tomorrow evening!

[ot7always]

hello there, my name's ash too! 🥺🥺🥺

!!!!!!! hello name twin, nice to meet you!!

#ask #anon