overcaffeinated-aro

[overcaffeinated-aro]

I've always had chronic fatigue. I remember being twelve, and an adult mentioned how I couldn't possibly know how tired they felt because adulthood brought levels of exhaustion I couldn't imagine. I thought about that for days in fear, because I couldn't remember the last time I didn't feel tired.

Eventually I came to terms with the fact that I was just tired, and I couldn't do as many things as everyone else. People called me lazy, and I knew that wasn't true, but there's only so many times you can say "I'm tired" before people think it's an excuse. I don't blame them. When a teenager does 20 hours of extracurriculars every week and only says "I'm too tired" when you ask them to do the dishes, it's natural to think it's an excuse. At some point, I started to think the same thing.

It didn't matter that I could barely sit up. It was probably all in my head, and if I really wanted to, I could do it.

When I learned the name for it, chronic fatigue, I thought wow, people that have that must be miserable, because I am always tired and I cannot imagine what it would feel like if it were worse.

Spoiler alert, if you've been tired for a decade, it's probably chronic fatigue.

Once I figured that out though, I thought of my energy as the same as everyone else's, just smaller in quantity. And that might be true for some people, but I've figured out recently that it absolutely isn't true for me.

I used to be like wow I have so much energy today I can do this whole list for sure! And then I'd do the dishes and have to lay down for 2 hours. Then I'd think I must gave misjudged that, I didn't have as much energy as I thought.

But the thing is - I did have enough energy for more tasks, I just didn't go about them properly.

With chronic fatigue, your maximum energy is obviously much smaller than the average person's. Doing the dishes for you might use up the same percentage of energy that it takes to do all the daily chores for someone else.

If someone without chronic fatigue was to do all the daily chores, they would take breaks. Because otherwise, they're sprinting a marathon for no reason and it would take way more energy than necessary. We have to do the same.

Put the cups in the dishwasher, take a break. Put the bowls in, take a break. So on and so forth. This may mean taking breaks every 2-5 minutes but afterwards, you get to not feel like you've run a marathon while carrying 4 people on your back.

Today, I had a moderate amount of energy. Under my old system of go till you drop, I probably could have done most of the dishes and wiped off the counter and then been dead to the world for the rest of the day.

Under the new system, I scooped litter boxes, cleaned out the fridge, took the trash out, cleaned the stove, and wiped off the counter and did all the dishes. And after all that, I still had it in me to make a simple dinner, unload the dishwasher, and tidy the kitchen.

It was complete and utter insanity. Just because I sat down whenever I felt myself getting more tired than I already was.

All this to say, take fucking breaks. It's time to unlearn the ceaseless productivity bullshit that capitalism has shoved down our throats. Its actively counterproductive. Just sit down. Drink some water. Rest your body when it needs to rest.

There will still be days where there is nothing to do but rest, and days where half a load of dishes is absolutely the most I can do. But this method has really helped me minimize those, which is so incredibly relieving.

#reminder

[overcaffeinated-aro]

sometimes it’s better refrain from deep introspection and allow yourself to just be.

#trying sososo hard to get better at this #it’s going

[overcaffeinated-aro]

“Many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, ‘What do I care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.’ Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.”

— Vincent Van Gogh

[overcaffeinated-aro]

All right, so currently, phones are down my tank's on empty, and I somehow have to manage to get my ass across the state and back tomorrow because I absolutely can't miss this laser appointment or I'll be even worse off both financially and in just general dysphoria and everything.

Fuck.

I really don't want to do this again, but I don't have other options. If you can donate and help out, I'd seriously appreciate it: http://paypal.me/tormentedartifacts

Or, even though I'm way the hells behind, if you want to grab yourself something and you're cool with the wait, there's http://tormentedartifacts.com

Either one helps, as does just sharing this around and signal boosting, but at this point I'm look at around $500 I have to get in, so I'm running at a loss for what else I can do.

[overcaffeinated-aro]

URGENT EMERGENCY

Hey guys? I could really use some help paying rent this month. My court date to be evicted is on the 22nd of April. My boyfriend lost his job recently, but has gotten a new job. However, the first paycheck won’t be delivered in time.

I… really need help. I don’t have much food. Most of my money is going to gas to get my boyfriend to work. I’m… running out of options. I need help. Please. Even a share helps.

I can’t work because my back is really messed up but the disability process where I live can take YEARS.

Another thing: I have an emotional support cat and I really don’t want to give her up but I’m not gonna make her live out of a car. I’m really scared of losing her.

Please help if you can.

Cshapp | Vnmo | PayPl

#undescribed

[overcaffeinated-aro]

if you want to actually start to end homelessness, you need to give homeless people unconditional homes, including when we use them to do drugs or sit around drinking. either housing is unconditional or it isn’t

someone sitting at home alone, an active alcoholic, squandering your charity, drinking all day is better situation than a street homeless alcoholic. someone using drugs in your charity house is better than them doing the same w no shelter

most of you would not like most street homeless people, I definitely don’t and didn’t when I was street homeless. for every one person who uses unconditional shelter to turn themselves around, someone else will do jack shit and very slowly, if ever, work through the issues that made them homeless, will maybe never be able to live independently. still better than street homelessness, still worth doing. ultimately either you believe that shelter should be universal or you don’t

homeless people actually can’t be rehabilitated if you want to end homelessness. we either affirm the right to shelter for the worst drunken, lying, filthy, cheating, self destructive homeless people that exist, genuinely irredeemable wankers, or we concede that shelter is not a right

[overcaffeinated-aro]

Not all heroes wear capes

#undescribed #based

[overcaffeinated-aro]

#I have ridden a hourse before #but it was being guided and I don’t think just sitting there counts so I said no in the prev poll

[overcaffeinated-aro]

idk to me it’s just like,,,black people coined the phrases say her name and rest in power for a reason and im gonna focus specifically on say her name because it was black women who wanted to call attention to the systemic violences that we have faced that have resulted in the deaths of so many of us which were left unrecognized. it was specifically addressing an issue within the black community wherein black femicides (particularly at the hands of the police/intimate partners) were not given the same spotlight as the murders of black men. we are always forgotten in life and in death and that is part of why the violence against us has been permitted to continue to the point that we are at a significantly higher risk of homicide than any other race. and the statistics are even more grim for black transwomen and femmes. for every nonblack victim of transphobic violence that gets recognition in their horrific death, there are 10 black victims whose names we never know. like that is the whole point of the phrase this shit is life or death for us and we know that the moment race is decontextualized from the nature of the phrase then that is when we are once again forgotten. but yall are acting like we’re trying to start genz tiktok lingo/aave co-opting discourse.

[overcaffeinated-aro]

i hate to be that guy, but the idea that gender, sex, and sexuality are ontologically pure concepts that can be rigidly defined if we simply police our language enough (our english language, because of course) is—i cannot stress this enough—a total waste of time. you may as well spend your afternoons teaching a brick how to swim

[overcaffeinated-aro]

Tell me when you get bored. A story about doses. [x]

I posted this on twitter and had a variety of aggressive ableism thrown my way.

This is a story about changing what I can in spite of what I cannot for the comfort of my loved ones. The thing that others find to be hurtful about me is that I like to spend time in silent solitude. People who love me often feel hurt that I tend to solve my own problems instead of leaning on them.

When we spend too much time together, people find my neutrality to be concerning, and it becomes too much for people to be unable to read me.

To show the people I love that I enjoy their company in ways they can understand, I pool my energy together to be high-energy, peppy, and social. Since this is not my natural state of being, it takes effort, which can only be expended in small doses. I amplify the things people like in me while filtering out everything they dislike about me when I am in their company.

I change my behaviors for those I love, but at the end of the day, I cannot change my neutral state of being, which is the thing that they want most out of me.

This is a story about me accommodating people in the best way I know how, not the other way around. I would truly appreciate it if people don't misconstrue this anecdote as me asking for dismissal of hurtful behavior when in reality, people find hurt in the fact that I simply exist, and I must change for them.

#undescribed

[overcaffeinated-aro]

the amount of white trans people on this website who go completely quiet when you bring racism into the conversation because they’ve never confronted their own prejudice and hide behind the “im a minority so i can’t even be racist!!” mindset instead of ever actually learning and giving a shit is so tiring what are we doing here

[overcaffeinated-aro]

READY TO GET UP AND DO THINGS‼️‼️

(it is bed time.)

[overcaffeinated-aro]

Mutual Aid Request

Help a black nonbinary schizo stay housed!!!

My dad and I just got notice our lease wont be renewed in august because of late rent. Things are going to get worse.

So the situation has been that our house is carless currently. Has been carless for about 6 months. My dad has been staying out of town with my uncle to commute closer to work. Things are getting pretty hostile with my uncle, however and I fear we might not have a choice but to come up with some of the money another way so he's not out of a job soon. He doesn't have a bed rn either. We are no longer scraping by well.

I think if I could raise a thousand, he could get a car and come home. I just want my dad to come home. We could go driving together and we could get out of this situation.

My dad is 65 and I'm disabled. Trying to understand how we can get out of this spot.

I'm applying to places like crazy and nothings taking. I'm still worried this might be the year we become homeless.

Please don't skip, please boost! Please share on other socials even. Things are so hard rn. This seems to be all I can do.

Cash is forwardalways21

Pay is forwardalways23

Tips are on too.

Edit: Dad just came home from my uncles prematurely. We are officially fucked if he can't get to work.

[overcaffeinated-aro]

we put so much importance on romantic love in queer spaces that i think we can forget about how important queer friendships are. having queer friends makes it so much easier to accept yourself and learn to accept others. queer friendships have so much love stored in them

[overcaffeinated-aro]

we put so much importance on romantic love in queer spaces that i think we can forget about how important queer friendships are. having queer friends makes it so much easier to accept yourself and learn to accept others. queer friendships have so much love stored in them

[overcaffeinated-aro]

we put so much importance on romantic love in queer spaces that i think we can forget about how important queer friendships are. having queer friends makes it so much easier to accept yourself and learn to accept others. queer friendships have so much love stored in them