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i wanna push everyone away from me so i can kill myself alone without anyone noticing
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I was a fucking idiot to think things would get better!!!
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I‘m a burden for everyone. I’m even a burden to myself.
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I don’t know how many “just make it through today”s I’ve got left.
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I want a life that I'm not always trying to escape from
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if my entire body does not stop hurting soon i am going to start screaming and throwing things
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When I say that the medical system is failing me, your response shouldn't be "Google your symptoms" or "Only you can help yourself" because neither of those things are remotely helpful. Instead, treat those failed with by the system with empathy and get fucking mad over the injustice.
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Remembering when I was first diagnosed with a chronic illness and thought that doctors were going to treat me
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Everyone is fine with having a disabled friend until they complain about their disability
Everyone is fine with having a disabled friend until they need to slow down for them
Everyone is fine with having a disabled friend until their mobility aids are loud
Everyone is fine with having a disabled friend until their mobility aids fall
Everyone is fine with having a disabled friend until they cancel plans due to their disability
Everyone is fine with having a disabled friend until they need to hold something for them
Everyone is fine with having a disabled friend until they need to open a door for them
Everyone is fine with having a disabled friend until they can't go somewhere because it's not accessible
Everyone is fine with having a disabled friend until their disability is inconvenient
Everyone is fine with having a disabled friend until their disability impacts them.
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brain fog is so stupid. Like what do you mean my body is in such rough shape I have nothing but my thoughts but also I can't think?
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Medical condition: gets worse without sleep
Medical condition: makes it harder to sleep
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IM SO MAD AT THE SHAME SOCIETY PLACES ON DYNAMIC DISABILITIES
yes, I was walking unaided yesterday; yes, I am using forearm crutches today
yes, I was using forearm crutches but left them behind to go to the bathroom yesterday; yes, I need to use them even to walk two steps today
yes, I went up the stairs unaided yesterday; yes, I needed my crutches to go up to the stairs today; yes, tomorrow I might need to scooch upstairs on my ass because I won't be able to walk them
yes, I walked unaided to the car to get my crutches out of the car in the morning; yes, I will use them to go on a walk in the afternoon
DISABILITY CAN BE DYNAMIC, MOST PEOPLE ARENT ON A FIXED POINT OF SUPPORT NEEDS AND MOBILITY, WE'LL HAVE GOOD AND BAD DAYS AND I DONT NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU
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i can't put any words on the pain that's holding my body captive. i don't want to feel anymore.
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I don't know who needs to hear this but:
-"it only hurts a little" is still pain
-"I can ignore it" is still pain
-"I can cope with/manage it" is still pain
-"it's bearable" is still pain
-"I can push through it" is still pain
-"it doesn't hurt that much" is still pain
-"it doesn't stop me from doing x" is still pain
You don't need to be in agonizing pain to be in pain.
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Folks have got to understand that they probably aren't messed up by some Secret Big Trauma that they just can't remember; but rather by a million tiny microtraumas that they do mostly remember but don't even register as traumatic because nobody actually understood that these things would cause trauma, much less stack on each other over the years.
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