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p4nkow · 3 years

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5 times things didn’t get better + 1 time they did

hello! i’m back and what i offer you today is the second part of 5 times! first of all, thank you SO SO much from the bottom of my heart to everyone who left a comment about the first part. it means so much to me and your response really made my day.

many of you requested a second part, and who am i to say no? so of course i wrote it. those who follow me already know that i‘ve been strugglling with posting it as none of my posts would pop up in the hashtag, but here it is anyways!

again, i’d love if you guys let me know what you think about it, it matters sooo much to me!!

Part 1

Summary: the way Rafe Cameron broke your heart made you open your eyes about the reality of the feelings you had for him. Turns out, getting over a heartbreak was harder than expected – especially when Rafe had no intentions of letting you go. And when you finally decided to face him, his revelations ripped your world apart.

Warnings: swearing, angst, some fluff, smut smut smut, mentions of alcohol and a fight

9.8k+ words. please let me know what you think of it!

gif credits: @jedidiahtiens

Trusting Rafe Cameron was a risky move – you’d learnt it on your skin. No matter how many times your friends told you to not – for any reason – let him grow on you, you eventually did. Maybe because of his charm, maybe because of the way he looked at you or because of the way you felt with him, like if you were the only one.

But it didn’t really matter now, did it? He betrayed you anyway. JJ was right – Rafe Cameron was a Kook after all. And that’s what Kooks do. Even sharks were more merciful than them.

With everything that was going on in your life – your mom, your economical situation, your shattered dreams, your sleepless nights because of work – a broken heart was something you did not need.

Seeing that girl in his bedroom, wearing his clothes and sleeping on his bed, made you realise that you’d fallen for Rafe even more than you thought, that it was something more than a summer crush, more than an infatuation. It was something you weren’t ready to realise, to say out loud. And look where this something had led you.

Saying that you were miserable the day after the fact was a huge underestimation. So pitiful that Pope even offered to take your place in the surf lesson only to leave you some girl time with Sarah and Kie hoping they’d cheer you up.

Even JJ offered to go at first, but both of you knew it wasn’t exactly a good idea. Not when John B had to stop him from running to Tanneyhill and face Rafe himself the very same morning.

And now it was just the three of you, as you let your girl friends mend your broken heart with some snacks and comforting words.

“She just stood there”, you murmured while playing with the half-melted ice cream Kie had brought you. “I think I woke her up and even in those conditions she— she was so pretty, y’know?”

Kie pursed her lips at the look you gave her. “What if you just misunderstood?”

“She was wearing his shirt. Sleeping on his bed.”

Sarah was sitting right next to you, gently caressing your arm every now and then to comfort you as she said “And he was with you only a few hours before?”

“Yeah we…”, you stopped for a few moments, blushing at the memory of the beach and remembering that Sarah was in fact Rafe’s sister. “I was having a tough time and he checked on me. We shared a moment, y’know?” What an underestimation.

And Kie immediately caught you. Narrowing her eyes, she carefully asked: “A moment?”

“Oh my God you kissed him”, Sarah realised, her lips forming a perfect ‘o’ in shock.

“No Sarah”, you slowly said, lowering your voice even more. “I wanted to have sex with him.”

Kie scoffed and Sarah remained quiet for a few moments, blinking a couple of times before saying: “Please spare me the details.”

But the problem was you did think about the details. Constantly. The way his hands were so firm on you, or the way his lips gently grazed your cheeks as you were sitting on him, or the way he looked at you throughout the whole night. Thinking about those things did nothing but rub salt in the wound.

So you tried to distract yourself. “Yeah, don’t worry ‘bout that”, you murmured before taking a spoon of your ice-cream.

Kie – who was sitting on the floor right in front of you with her forearms on her knees and her ankles crossed – slowly placed a hand on your knee, gently caressing you with her thumb. “What are you gonna do about the surf lessons?”

Right. The surf lessons.

There was no way you could quit your job – neither the standard one nor the second one. Not if you wanted to make the ends meet. Not if you wanted to go to college. But both implied Rafe’s presence, which wasn’t ideal now that he… well, now that he broke your heart.

Kie even proposed to go smash his beloved bike with a baseball bat, and you never even doubted she capable of doing something as such – but it was only gonna make things even worse.

Lost in your thoughts, you almost jumped in your seat when you heard your phone vibrate on the coffee table right in front of you. There was no need for you to look at the screen and see who was calling you – Rafe had tried to contact you more than once throughout the morning.

But you never picked up. Not even once.

“Don’t pick up”, Sarah murmured, leaning towards the table to end the call.

The knot in your throat grew even bigger when his name disappeared from your screen, so you slightly shook your head, grabbed your phone from the table and leaned back in the couch. It didn’t take long before a notification brought your attention back to your screen.

Please answer the phone. Please. I need to know you’re ok.

“The nerve”, Kie murmured as she shook her head.

There was a chance Rafe didn’t even know why you were so upset with him – so heartbroken – because there was no way to know whether that girl told him, or if he heard it somewhere. Besides your mother, there was no sign of your presence at the Mansion that morning.

But you realised soon enough that you eventually had to confront him. His texts and calls were only a reminder of what was awaiting you. For the moment all you needed was some love from your friends and your time to heal your broken heart. Facing Rafe would’ve only prolonged your misery.

So, without saying anything to Kie and Sarah, you quickly typed: “Leave me alone.”

The alarm was so resonant, so boomy that it even managed to wake JJ up – and, just to be clear, there were little things that succeeded in getting him up.

“The hell is going on?” JJ’s muffled voice came from the couch where he’d fallen asleep a few hours earlier. He didn’t even bother to look up, as the other four of you slowly got up one by one. Sleeping with your friends was way more comforting than sleeping alone in your room. Especially now.

Realisation slowly hit you as you got up from your spot. That alarm could only mean one thing – a storm was coming. And a big one.

Giving voice to your thoughts, John B looked out of the window of the Chateau and murmured “A big one’s on the way.”

Trying to avoid Kie’s backpack and JJ’s shoes on the floor as you walked out of the house, your eyes immediately fell on the dark, menacing clouds above you. “We have to hurry”, you murmured. Your brain was now fully awake and your body responsive as you hurried back inside the house only to grab your stuff. “John B, the boat. I’m gonna take care of the supplies. Care to drive me, Pope?”

“Yep, I’m coming”, he said as he collected his shoes and followed you outside.

Everyone in the house was already hurrying to secure everything – there was no way to know the damage the upcoming storm was gonna cause, so everyone in the Cut was making sure to protect their goods.

Kids taking their few toys inside, mothers getting the laundry outside, fishermen securing their boats – the Pogues in the Cut had very little to shelter, but those few stuff they had was so essential to them that they made more than sure to take care of it.

Figure 8 had little to worry about. And of course, thinking of Figure 8, you couldn’t help but think of Rafe and your heart clenched a bit. The wound was still very much fresh.

Pope was very quiet as the two of you made your way to his father’s store, already more than worried about the state the upcoming storm was gonna get the entire island in.

As soon as you got there, the first thing you noticed was the huge crowd all around the shops. Those who weren’t busy protecting their belongings, went to collect as many supplies as possible.

“I’m just gonna go check on my father. Meet me at the back?” Pope asked you as soon as he got out of the car, giving a quick look at the crowd before looking back at you.

The wind was starting to get stronger and stronger, pushing you to narrow your eyes and try to keep your hair in order as you gave a quick look at the sky. The first drops of rain were starting to fall.

“Yeah”, you nodded. “I’ll meet you there.”

Pope gave you a quick nod before walking away, disappearing among the crowd a few seconds after. The deck wasn’t as crowded as the street, so you easily started to make your way to the back of the shop.

Until you heard someone calling your name.

“Y/N?” There was no need for you to turn, you’d recognise that voice anywhere. “Y/N! Hey, wait!”, Rafe repeated, getting closer to you.

At first you froze. With all that chaos going on, for a split second you’d forgotten about the chance of meeting him there. Hell, you didn’t even know how to react. All the anger and disappointment from these past few days took over your body all at once, so you started to walk faster to get away from him.

But Rafe wasn’t gonna let you walk away from him. It hurt him seeing you hurrying up.

So when his hand gently grabbed your bicep to stop you from running away, you weren’t even surprised. “Don’t touch me”, you murmured looking at him right in the eye.

The firmness in your voice made Rafe frown as you walked past him, slipping away from his grip. “Just stop for a second and talk to me!”, you heard him say as he followed you through the deck.

It hurt so bad being so close to him after what he did. Rafe Cameron gave you a taste of what you could’ve been together and then proceeded to shatter your heart.

The thought of what the two of you shared was immediately replaced by the sight of that girl standing on the doorframe of his room, and you immediately felt your eyes burn as some tears menaced to fall. But you weren’t gonna cry in front of him. Or because of him, for what matters. Not anymore.

The rain was now falling harder and harder, and Pope was probably already waiting for you at the back of his shop. But you couldn’t bring yourself to worry about anything else when Rafe was standing so close to you. Even with your heart broken, Rafe was everywhere for you.

So you forced yourself to remind the state in which he’d reduced you that morning – the way he’d given you false hopes and sweet bullshit before running to sleep with another woman. That’s when your sadness was quickly replaced by anger and you said “I have nothing to tell you.”

“Stop running away from me!”

“I have nothing to say to you!”, you yelled, turning towards him and making him stop on the spot. His hair was now wet, and some brown locks were already attached to his forehead. But his eyes – oh man, the look you saw in his eyes broke your heart into million pieces once again. Your arms were raised in the air as a sign of frustration as you continued “There’s a storm coming, and unlike you I need to get some supplies to make sure I’m not gonna starve. So just leave me alone.”

Rafe was taken aback by the harshness in your voice. He tried a few times to say something as you tried to cool off, then he said “What changed? From that night, what changed?” Your heart clenched at his tone.

“You betrayed me, Rafe”, you murmured. Even though your voice was now lower than before, you were more than sure he’d hear you loud and clear. “I allowed myself to be vulnerable around you, and you took advantage of it.”

“What the hell—”

The alarm was now ringing louder than before, and the wind was starting to get stronger. Pope and you needed to hurry.

“I trusted you, Rafe. Everyone tried to warn me about who you were, about your reputation. Everyone! But I trusted you, ‘cause you were different with me. But it was all a lie, wasn’t it? You are not that different after all.”

Rafe seemed so taken aback by your words that he didn’t even try to reply. He squeezed his eyes and slightly shook his head, caressing his forehead as if he was trying to make things clear in his head.

Your tears were now mixing with the rain running down your face as you pursed your lips and allowed yourself to give him one long, last look. All you wanted to do was wrap your arms around him and let him comfort you, let him tell you that you’ve got this, that everything’s gonna be alright.

Except it wasn’t gonna. So when he finally met your eyes again, you snuggled against your wet sweater and folded your arms across your chest as if you were trying to hold yourself together. “Don’t try to call me again”, it’s all you murmured before turning your back to him and walking away, trying to muffle your sobs in your sleeve.

Nobody had ever told you falling in love with someone would’ve been this hard.

Hurricane Ida had done some serious damage. Nasty, nasty lady.

The Chateau had held on pretty well – the boat was still intact and so was the house, but once again many trees had fallen over and were now blocking the main streets and getting the marsh dirty.

After warning your mother about your staying at the Chateau, you’d spent the entire night with your friends. They’d immediately realised something must’ve happened during your little trip at Heyward’s shop, and without saying a word they’d tried to lighten up your mood and distract you from your own feelings and thoughts.

But then you were forced to get back with your feet on the ground as you had to get back to work the very next day. The thought of having to clean a house that wasn’t yours – Rafe’s house! – after a hurricane like this made you groan.

“Power’s off across the whole island”, JJ warned you with a yawn.

You gave him a quick look from above your shoulder as you made breakfast for the both of you, as everyone else was still sleeping. “No service?”

“Nope. Nada de nada.”

A groan escaped your lips again. “There’s no way I can make it with my car to Figure 8, right?”

“I could always give you a ride”, JJ proposed as he grabbed the sandwich you made him.

It wasn’t a bad idea after all. At least you didn’t have to walk all by yourself, which meant less time for you to think about him.

The idea of seeing Rafe again after everything that happened, after what you told him the day before, almost made you sick to your stomach. But you were a Pogue, and there was no way you could skip work and leave your mom alone with all that mess.

So of course you accepted JJ’s offer. “You sure?”

“‘f course”, he replied with his mouth full, giving you a quick, amused look before walking out.

Maybe you were holding onto him harder than needed. The thought of seeing Rafe made you so nervous that you were now squeezing JJ way too tight as he skilfully made his way to Figure Eight, avoiding all that mess on the road.

As you made your way out of the Cut, you took your time to look at all the people trying to clean up all that confusion caused by hurricane Ida. Every single storm was a hard blow on the Pogues, and your heart clenched a bit at that sight.

Before you even realised, completely lost in the sight of the crowd in the streets and the island running pas you, JJ stopped the bike right in front of Tanneyhill.

“Call me if something happens.” His tone was so caring that it took you a while to get used to this new side of JJ.

“Will do”, you replied as you handed him your helmet, blowing him a kiss and watch him disappear from your sight before turning towards the gates of the Mansion.

It was barely 8AM but everyone was already busy – the garden was a mess, and you prayed that the hurricane spared the inside. Exposed wires and lighting columns were on the floor as well as numerous tree branches, so you had to pay extra attention to where set foot.

“Honey? Hey! Everything ok down at the Chateau?” Your mom was looking down at you from one of the balconies, and you slightly waved at her as you looked up.

“Yeah”, you murmured as you gave another quick look at the mess around you. “JJ gave me a lift. Where do you need me?”

Hell, it was gonna be a long, long day.

“It’s better if we take care of the inside first, so we have all the time we want to focus on the garden”, she said loud enough for you to hear.

“Bedrooms?”

Two workers were coming right your way holding a ladder, so you avoided them as your mother replied “Yeah. Not Sarah’s one though – I already took care of it.”

“Gotcha”, you murmured before taking a deep sigh.

Rafe was nowhere to be seen, and you dreaded stepping foot inside the house because of the chance of meeting him. Maybe the words you told him – yelled at him – just the day before made him realise how you didn’t want him around. Not anymore.

Not after he squeezed your heart so tight to make you lose your breath.

“Good morning sweetie!”, Rosie said as you climbed the stairs to the first floor.

Giving her a quick glance above your shoulder and a tiny smile, you replied “‘Morning, Mrs. Cameron!”

“It’s Rose”, she corrected you with a smile. It was early in the morning, and she already had a drink on her hand.

All you gave her as response was an amused grin before disappearing upstairs. Rose was nice – not as intimidating as Ward, that’s for sure. She just was… unique.

Cleaning Wheezie’s bedroom wasn’t as hard as the rest of the other rooms – she possibly was the neatest and tidiest member of her family. Moreover, she was always around when you had to take care of her room, telling you some Kook gossips as you put away her laundry.

“Turns out Mr. Waterford was cheating on his wife”, she whisper-shouted, making sure nobody was listening to us as she followed you out of her room.

“I thought it was the other way around!”

“‘Cause she was making it look like it.”

Holding the laundry hamper under one arm and collecting laundry with the other hand, you quickly realised what room you had to take care of next – Rafe’s room. The same one in which that girl had slept, wearing his clothes, on his very own bed. You hadn’t been there since that night and a knot formed in your throat at the memories of that night.

“Wheeze?”, you murmured, turning towards her. “Do you mind keeping me company while I tidy Rafe’s room as well?”

“Sure”, she simply shrugged before following you.

Not only you were trying to avoid being alone with your thoughts in that room, but if for any chance Rafe was there, at least Wheezie would’ve been with you and you would’ve avoided his burning questions.

Taking a deep breath before knocking, you gave Wheezie a weak smile as you waited for an answer from the other side of the room. Damn, what a déja-vu.

The complete silence coming from the other side of the room was your clue that nobody was there, so you swung the door open and sighed deeply at the sight of the empty room. Placing the hamper on the floor, you started to get cracking.

But no matter how you tried to, you couldn’t even spare a look for his bed. Your heart was still aching for that night – so much that you couldn’t even think about it.

“So, I was saying”, Wheezie resumed. “She was cheating with someone from the mainland.”

“Did her husband find out?”, you casually asked as you cleaned one of his shelves, trying to avoid looking at the framed pictures of him right in front of you.

“No, that’s the problem! He said—”

“What are you doing here?”

With one of his framed pictures still in your hand, you froze on the spot.

Doesn’t matter how pissed you still were at him, his voice never failed to send shivers all down your spine.

All you gave him was a quick look, remaining silent as Wheezie was the one replying for you. “What does it look like to you?”

When you slowly turned around, you carefully avoided looking at him. His bed was still undone, and his sheets were so messy that deep down you knew you had to take care of it. Everything but look at him.

Swallowing the knot that had formed in your throat, you ignored his burning eyes on you as you started to pull the sheets and straighten them with nervous movements.

“Stop”, Rafe murmured as he took a few steps towards you. A few moments and he was already behind you, trying to hold you by your wrists as you slipped away from his grasp. “Y/N, just stop.”

“Why?”, you spat as you turned towards him. Looking at him dead in the eye turned out to be harder that you’d actually expected. But you didn’t look away.

Rafe tightened his jaw as he held your graze, and his eyes were a lot darker than usual. You weren’t sure of what you were seeing in them – sadness? Anger? Regret?

“Wheezie, give us a moment”, he murmured in a low voice, never looking away from you. “Please.”

Whatever was going on between the two of you, Wheezie wanted nothing to do with it. Giving you two a long, last look, she closed the door behind her as she walked out of the room.

Your eyes were starting to water again – maybe because looking at him still hurt, maybe because you were frustrated about the entire situation.

That’s probably the reason why you said: “Did you fuck her in this bed?”

Rafe slowly shook his head at your words. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I know what I saw”, you insisted. He was so dangerously close to your body that it was difficult for you to form a coherent phrase.

“No, you don’t.” The hardness in his voice made you shiver.

Rafe was different today.

“She was standing right there”, you started, pointing at the doorframe, “wearing your clothes, getting out of your bed.”

That’s when Rafe took a step away from you, caressing his forehead in frustration as he moved his blue eyes away from yours. “So you saw her here and decided to sprint out of my house and never talk to me again? Topper saw you leave that morning and connected the dots.”

“What was I supposed to do?”

“Talk to me!”, Rafe raised his voice in frustration as you shook your head.

“I couldn’t bring myself to talk to you! Not after what we shared that night and after what I saw a few hours later, Rafe!”

“You misunderstood it all”, he simply said, raising his arms in the air as a sign of frustration. His eyes were so hard on you that you almost took a step back.

He wasn’t mad. He was deeply disappointed.

“I… what?”, you murmured, blinking a few times as you tried to clear up your mind.

“I was having a party that night”, he slowly explained, and you whispered “Yeah, I remember.”

Rafe looked at you for a few seconds, letting his gaze slide through your features before meeting your eyes again. And when he talked, you were more than sure you heart shattered into million pieces. Again. “The girl you saw that night – she’s Topper’s cousin.”

Silence. Your mouth was so dry and your brain so confused by his words that you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything.

“She was drunk, and she couldn’t drive back home. Not in those conditions. So drunk that her dress was soaked in vodka, so Topper asked if I could give her one of my old shirts to use as pyjamas. She passed out on my bed before Topper could even take her in one of the guest rooms, so I just slept in the room across the hall. Alone.”

Oh God, it all made sense. There was something in his eyes that pushed you to believe everything he just said – and you felt so stupid. So, so stupid.

Now you knew what the thing you saw in Rafe’s eyes was – disappointment, anger and sadness. ‘Cause you’d been childish, avoiding him at all costs and not letting him tell his side of the story.

When you looked up at him once again, your eyes now filled with tears, his gaze was as hard as before.

“I… I didn’t—”, you tried to say, but Rafe quickly interrupted you.

“You didn’t know. How could you, if you’ve been avoiding me like a plague?”

“Rafe—”

“I thought”, he interrupted you again. “That after all the time we spent together, after everything, after that night… You would trust me. Or you would at least hear my side of the story.”

This time you remained silent. Because he was absolutely right – you’ve been so focused on yourself that you hadn’t even thought of it all being a misunderstanding.

“I’m always gonna be a typical Kook to you, right? An asshole who was just playing with you, messing with your life. I’m always gonna be Rafe Cameron, Ward’s son and the Kook prince, and not just Rafe to you. Am I right?” His voice was now way sadder than before, and a tear rolled down your cheek as you slightly shook your head.

You even tried to take a step towards him, comfort him somehow, but when Rafe took a step away from you, your heart clenched once again. “Rafe…”

“Leave”, he murmured without even looking at you – his eyes were fixed on the floor. “Just leave.”

As you tried to hold back tears while walking past him, headed to the door, you realised that you’d just lost Rafe Cameron for the second time in a week.

And it hurt like hell.

The beach was a mess and so was your life. Tree branches were scattered in the sand, and so was the debris. Hurricane Ida must’ve been very pissed.

The surf class had collectively decided to help clean up the beach, playing their part in helping the island get back on its feet.

Even the little Anya had showed up, and she was working harder than most of the rest. She was a force of nature.

Rafe had showed up as well – and he hadn’t looked at you not even once. No matter how many times you’d tried to meet his gaze, he was always too busy to even acknowledge your presence.

“Hey, Y/N! This bag is full!”, one of the guys yelled, holding the edges of a black bag with one hand as he covered his eyes from the sun with the other.

Giving a quick look at the pickup behind you, you pointed at it and replied “Get it on there, JJ’s gonna take care of it when it’s full.”

“Gotcha!”

Inevitably, your eyes fell on Rafe again. He was busy picking up the plastic pieces, trying to recycle as much as possible. His brown locks were falling on his forehead, and if you didn’t know him better you would’ve thought he was relaxed – but his jaw was clenched and his back so tense that it was almost painful looking at him.

“Y/N?” Anya’s sweet voice distracted you from your thoughts.

“Hm?”, is all you said, shifting your attention to her as you cleared your throat.

“The sun is getting stronger and my mom told me to put my sunscreen on. Can you please help me?” She was so sweet it was almost impossible to say no.

“‘f course honey, come here.”

The two of you remained silent for a while as you gently spread the cream on her arm. Despite being focused on your task, you could feel her questioning eyes on you.

“Did you not sleep well last night, Y/N?”

You gave her a quick look. “Why’s that?”

“You look tired”, she murmured.

“Don’t worry about it”, you said with a forced smile, trying to reassure her. “I’m just… working a lot.” Oh, if only she knew.

She remained silent for a while before asking “Is Rafe mad at me?”

When you looked at her, shifting your attention from her forehead now covered in cream to her eyes, a sweet frown was now painted in her face. “Why would he be?”

“He didn’t even say good morning.”

Your words made your heart ache, and you tried to reassure her as much as you could. “I’m sure Rafe is very tired as well, but he’s definitely not mad at you. Do you trust me?”

“Yeah.”

“‘kay”, you murmured, going back to spreading the cream on her back.

“Is he mad at you though?”, she asked again.

Before answering her question you had to get rid of the knot that had formed in your throat. “A little bit”, you minimised.

“Why?” Sweet, nosey girl.

“Because”, you started, trying to make it simple. “Remember how you said you trusted me?”

“Of course I do”, she immediately replied.

Once done with her back, you gently turned her towards you. Placing your hands on her shoulder, you got down to meet her eyes. “Well, I made a mistake and I didn’t trust him enough.”

“That’s why he’s mad at you?”

As if overhearing your conversation – even though it was impossible from where he was standing – Rafe’s eyes met yours for the first time since he got there. He held your gaze for a while before looking away, clenching his jaw.

“Yep”, you murmured. “But it’s gonna be fine, don’t worry about that. Cream’s done and now you’re more than protected. Do you need something else?”

“No, I better get back to work!” And she quickly walked away form you. For being only nine, she was incredibly smart. Anya was a fox.

Everyone else was working as well, and it surprised you. For being a bunch of teenagers and kids, everyone was eager to clean the beach up and get back to their daily routine as quickly as possible.

Sighing deeply, you stood up and went to pick up a bag, dragging it to the pickup. It was 10 in the morning you were already more than tired – probably because you hadn’t slept all night.

No matter how many times you tried, you were struggling to pick the bag up. Either because it was so full or because you were so weak that morning, there was no way you could load it in the truck without any kind of help.

As you were about to call one of the guys to give you a hand, you heard footsteps approaching you. Rafe now standing right in front of you and he was now wearing a cap backwards, hiding from the burning sun.

All he gave you was a quick look from above his shoulder before picking up the bag, loading it on the truck next to you. There was no way you could look away from him, no matter how painful it was. Rafe had this effect on you.

As you were about to say something – anything, as long as you talked to him – Rafe turned towards you. When his eyes met yours, your brain was unable to form a coherent phrase, so you held his gaze as you remained silent.

But not for long – you could see it in his eyes all the disappointment you caused him. So it didn’t surprise you when he walked away from you, not even turning around when you called out his name. “Be nice to Anya!”, you yelled for him to hear, and you weren’t surprised when he didn’t respond.

So you simply watched him join the rest of the class, thinking how much you managed to screw up the only good thing in your life.

All under the gaze of a nosey Anya.

It was hot.

Way too hot for it to be a late August night.

Either because of that – or because it was only 10PM – no matter how much you tried, you weren’t gonna fall asleep anytime soon.

Problem was, you were sleep deprived. Your mom noticed it. Your friends noticed it. Hell, even Anya noticed! So you were more than determined to get a few hours of sleep before heading back to work tomorrow.

At least you were home alone – your mom and dad were supposed to spend the weekend on the mainland, trying to sort out a work deal for your dad and get some supplies before heading back home.

The living room was incredibly dark as you filled yourself a glass of cold water, lost in your thought. No matter how many times you had to try, you were gonna get some sleep one way or another.

But as you put your glass down and were about to head towards your bedroom, a knock on your front door caught your attention.

You immediately tensed up – who the hell was knocking on your door at 10PM?

The rest of the crew was down at the beach for a kegger, but you didn’t exclude it was them – anything could happen when JJ was involved. But there was no way to know, so you grabbed a vase from you living room before heading towards the door, more than ready to hit the guest – just in case.

On your tiptoes, you made your way to the front door, asking loud enough for them to hear “Who is it?”

Nothing. No sound, no voices, nada.

You frowned and tried again. “Hello?”

“It’s…”, someone slurred. “It’s me.”

Realisation hit you. “Rafe?”

“Open the door… please”, he mumbled. There was something wrong with him – something was off.

So you did as he asked and opened the door. His brown locks were covering his forehead – he used to style them and gel them away from his face, but you preferred this new style. But as soon as you met his eyes, you immediately realised he was intoxicated.

Still focused on his looks – and still shocked by the fact that he was standing in your doorway, drunk and delusional – you remembered you were still holding the vase when Rafe pointed at it with a half-smile and said “Were you gonna hit me?”

You gave the vase a quick look. “I didn’t know it was you.”

Rafe took another step towards you and he got under the light of your porch. As you let your eyes scan him with a quick look, your gaze fell on his bloody knuckles. “Rafe! Are you hurt?”

“N-no, what…” He followed your gaze to his hand, before raising it and putting it under the light. “Oh, it’s… it’s nothing. I just wanted to see you.”

The look in his eyes was so genuine that your heart did a backflip. Sighing deeply, you stepped aside the doorframe and opened the door even further. “Come inside.”

Rafe seemed hesitant at first — even in that state, you could see he was still reluctant. Nevertheless, he accepted your request and stepped inside your house.

Putting the vase down, you gave him a quick look from above your shoulder before saying “Follow me”. He didn’t objectify and you took it as a win.

It was weird — seeing Rafe in your house, in your room, almost as if you were showing him your safe space. But you did trust him, and seeing him around couldn’t have made you happier. At least he was talking to you. He said he needed to see you.

“I have a first aid kit in the bathroom”, you explained as you led the way, and you shot him a quick look just to make sure he was following you.

His eyes were already on yours when you checked on him, and he didn’t objectify when you instructed him to sit down and let you take care of him.

A comforting silence fell between the two of you as you opened the kit and took out what you needed to take care of his wounds. But you couldn’t help but ask “What happened?”

Rafe looked up at you, and you resisted the urge to move away some strands of hair that had fallen on his forehead. By the smile painted on his face and the intoxicated look he gave you, you just knew that Rafe had a lot to drink that night.

“You weren’t at the kegger”, he switched subject, completely ignoring your question.

“No, I wasn’t”, you murmured, gently taking his hand and placing it on the counter. You got closer to him ti have a better view of the wounds, giving him a quick look to make sure that closeness was fine to him before focusing back on his knuckles. “I wanted to catch some sleep.”

“You look tired”, he agreed, his words still woolly.

“Well, thanks.” A half laugh escaped your lips as you gave him a quick look, gently starting to clean the cuts on his skin.

“No, I—”, he started, rubbing his hood hand on his forehead as if he wanted to clear his mind. “You always look pretty”, he tried again, “but you seem tired. That what I— I didn’t mean—”

When he placed his good hand back on his knee, one of his fingers was touching the back of your knee.

Rafe Cameron stuttering was a news to you, but you couldn’t help but blush at his words, doesn’t matter how mumbled they were. “I know, I was only teasing. Thank you.”

Now two of his fingers were touching the back of your knee.

No matter how close the alcohol got to his wounds, Rafe never hissed not even once. He remained silent for a few seconds, even though you could still feel his eyes on you, closely following your movements.

And then three, four fingers were touching you and his entire hand was now gently touching your leg. His palm was hot against your cold skin — maybe wearing shorts with such weather hadn’t been the best idea. Until now.

“Rafe”, you murmured as his hand started to slowly move up and down your leg.

You gave him a long, questioning look from above your shoulder but you didn’t stop him. Instead, you tried to fully focus on the bandage you were wrapping around his hand, trying not to get too distracted by his touch.

But you needed to know what happened — you couldn’t allow yourself to be this close to him if he’d hurt one of your friends. “Rafe, what happened tonight?”

“I didn’t hit anyone.” His voice was cleared than before, but still obviously drunk.

When you gave him a questioning look, he continued “I swear. I… I wanted to. I was so damn pissed, and you weren’t there, and considering how we left things I—”

“You what?, you urged.

As you started to put away the first aid kit, his hand was still placed on the back of your knee. His touch was comforting and hell, after the week the two of you went through, it felt good.

“I had a few drinks”, he admitted. Maybe more than a few. “And I hit the wall. Oh man, I hit the wall. My dad’s gonna make me pay for that shit.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at his words. “I’m glad it was the wall and not somebody. Not my friends.”

“You would’ve never forgiven me.” And he was right.

When you slowly turned towards him, he didn’t let go of you. His touch was comforting and the fact that he still needed to be this close to you made you believe that maybe, after all, the two of you still had a chance.

His beautiful blue eyes were covered by the fog of alcohol as you looked at him, and you couldn’t fight the urge of pushing his hair from his face.

He allowed himself to relax under your touch, closing his eyes and letting you stroke his hair. Drunk Rafe was never fun to deal with, but this was a whole new Rafe.

Nevertheless, he was still drunk. So he placed his head on your stomach and allowed you to stroke his hair, relaxing at your movements.

Not really sure what to say, you remained silent for a while until it was him who broke the silence. “You smell good.”

You giggled. “Well, thank you.”

“And you’re hot”, he mumbled against your shirt. Yep, definitely drunk.

“Oh really?”, you murmured only to tease him.

“Yep”, he immediately replied, popping the ‘p’. “So hot that it killed me pushing you away that night.”

You knew exactly what he was talking about. “I was drunk.”

“So am I.” Well, at least he was making a good point. “I want to make love to you”, he mumbled again.

Your heart did a backflip at his words as you asked “Make love?”

“Yep. Make the sweeeetest love to you.”

Despite the seriousness of his words, you couldn’t help but giggle at his tone. He wouldn’t have remembered anything the following day, so you continued to tease him. “Alright Christian Grey, let’s go to bed.”

“Hmm”, is all he replied.

The hardest part wasn’t make him get up and lead him to your bedroom — it was making him lay down.

“C’mon Rafe, help me out. I need you to lay down.” You tried to gently push him down to your bed, but he wouldn’t let go of you.

Note to self: drunk Rafe was equal to needy Rafe.

“I’m mad at you”, he mumbled out of nowhere. Despite his words, a grin was painted on his face.

“I know you are”, you placed both hand on his shoulders. “But right now I need you to lay down.” And when you pushed him, he almost dragged you down with him.

Almost.

“Where are you going?”, he asked, sprawling on your bed and looking at you with half-closed eyes.

“To turn the lights off. Unless you want them on?”

“Off”, he mumbled, snuggling against your pillow.

Giving him a last look to make sure he was comfortable and ready to sleep on your bed, your headed towards the bathroom to put away the kit and switch the lights off.

Pointless to say that as soon as you got back to your bedroom, Rafe was already snoring.

The angelic look painted on his face made you believe that maybe, after all, the two of you still had another chance to go for.

5 + 1

Rafe was still sound asleep when you woke up the next morning. His features were so relaxed that you stopped to look at him for a few seconds. There was no way to know which Rafe you were about to face that morning — the angry Rafe? The disappointed one? The one with regrets? Was he gonna break your heart once again?

These thoughts were haunting you as you made breakfast for the two of you, hoping that he would stay — keeping yourself busy was the only way you could avoid overthinking, so that’s probably the reason why you scrambled your eggs a little too much.

That until you heard footsteps approaching you.

“Hey.” As simple as that — that’s all he said, his voice still raspy because of his sleep and the hangover.

All you gave him was a quick look from above your shoulder before going back to your pancakes. “Hey.”

“My head’s killing me”, he murmured. Without even looking at him, you could hear him sitting down on one of the the stools.

When you turned towards him, his forearms were placed on the counter and a frown was painted on his face. With the spatula still in your hand, you pointed at the painkillers you’d brought to the kitchen only for him.

“Take one of those, and drink a few glasses”, you murmured, turning your back to him once again. “And I’m making breakfast. Hopefully it’ll make you feel better.”

When your words were followed by nothing but silence, you took it the wrong way. “But don’t feel forced to eat it, or stay, if you don’t—”

“I’d like to have breakfast with you”, he said by interrupting you.

And a few minutes later you really did — pancakes and eggs on the counter, you sat right in front of him, shooting him quick looks every now and then as the two of you had your breakfast in silence.

When you got up without even saying a word, starting to put the empty places away on the sink, his voice came clear to your ears as he said: “About last night— the things I said…” You didn’t even notice him moving, yet he was standing right behind you now.

“You don’t have to apologise”, you dismissed him, pretending that his upcoming apologies weren’t gonna hurt you. So you sat on the counter right in front of him, your eyes at the same level as his as you tried to swallow the know on your throat.

“I wasn’t gonna.” His words caught you off guard. “I don’t regret what I said. Anything.”

Anything?

The look he gave you was so burning against your skin that you shifted on your seat, feeling the butterflies going crazy in your stomach.

The atmosphere in the room changed in a matter of seconds — Rafe took a step towards you, without looking away not even for a second. His hands gently but firmly grabbed your face as he placed his lips on yours with such need that you weren’t sure your heart could handle it.

You kissed him back immediately — following the movement of his lips, you threw your arms around him and pushed him even closer to your body.

But it wasn’t enough. It was never enough with Rafe.

And he was just as needy as you — he immediately tried to deepen the kiss, teasing your lower lip with his tongue until you allowed him to make things even more heated.

One of his hands slid from your cheek to your lower back, so you spread your legs even further on the stool to allow him to get closer to your body. Lost in the moment, one of your hands slipped under his shirt, caressing his muscles as his soft lips left some soft, wet kissed down your neck.

“Y/N”, he whispered, and his tone sent chills down your spine.

When you pushed your body even closer to his, Rafe’s grunt came muffled to your ears. You just knew that he needed you as much as you needed him. “I want you so bad”, he murmured against your skin.

His feelings were fully reciprocated, so you moved your lips from his cheek to his ear, wrapping your legs around his waist as you whispered: “I want you, Rafe.”

He pulled away for a split second, even though his mind was telling him not to, just to make sure that there was no chance of you wanting him away from you after this.

But how could you?

When his eyes met yours, a wave of relief went through him — his lips immediately found yours once again, and as he was kissing you he was considering what to do next. He didn’t want to give the impression that he was going too fast — he didn’t know to how far you wanted to go, but he didn’t even want to look like he was teasing you.

When one of his hands moved down your shirt, slowly lifting it up until you help it take it off, a chill ran down your spine as your bare skin met the cold air of the morning. Rafe wasn’t surprised to see that you didn’t use to wear a bra at night, and his eyes met yours for a split second, asking for permission, before letting his hands make their way to your bare skin.

You melted under his warm touch, letting him explore your body as his hands moved from your back to your chest. It didn’t take long for him to start playing with your nipples, and you gasped on his lips at his touches. As if encouraging him to keep going, you started kissing him again.

With your shirt gone, it only seemed fair for you to take his off as well, and he helped you get rid of it and throw it on the floor with yours. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you pushed him closer to your body and his hips hit yours — you could easily feel him harden more and more at that simple touch, so you moved your lips from his neck to his ear only to murmur “Let’s move this to bed.”

Without having to tell him twice, Rafe’s hands immediately slipped to your lower back before holding you by your back thighs and lifting you up from the stool. Your legs were still wrapped around him, and you giggled against his lips when he almost tripped on your shirt on the floor.

Your bare chest was pressed against his, and you could feel the tension between the two of you increase second by second. “I’m sorry”, you whispered against his lips as you desperately kissed him. One of your hands was on the back of his head, keeping him close to you as you kept going against his lips “I’m so fucking sorry, Rafe.”

Without any word, Rafe’s lips crashed on yours again. Your back hit the wall of the hallway as he pushed his body against yours, and you held tight on him as you kissed him back. “You didn’t trust me”, he murmured as he pushed his hips against yours, making you feel him beneath you.

At that feeling, you slowly moved your hips against his, needing to feel him as close as possible. “I’m sorry”, you murmured again, your breath getting shorter and shorter. “I do trust you. Fully.”

That’s when Rafe moved away from the wall and finally made it to your bedroom. He almost felt overwhelmed by the moment, but there was no way he was gonna stop. Not now.

He dropped you on top of the bed and your lips disconnected for a few moments, but he was on top of you in a matter of seconds. “Do you?”, he asked against your lips.

“I do”, you nod as you spread your legs, allowing him to place himself on top of you comfortably.

One of his hands slid through your chest to your belly, down to the hem of your underwear. His fingers easily made their way beneath the fabric, and you moaned at his touch.

Rafe leaned down over you and you held his face as he came to kiss you, before moving your hands down his chest. “Tell me you’re only mine”, he whispers.

You immediately nodded as your fingers found the button of his pants, and you quickly undid it and tried to pull them down. “Only yours.”

Once getting rid of them with Rafe’s help — that’s when everything got even more intense. One of his hands was still touching you under your underwear, making you wimper against his lips as you felt hopeless under his touch.

So you made your hand slide down to his outstretched boxers, caressing his member from above the fabric as he pushed himself down to your touch.

“Stop teasing”, he murmured, making you giggle.

“Stop teasing”, you repeated, and that’s when Rafe pulled his hand away from you only to slowly take your pants off, letting them slide down to your ankles before getting rid of them.

His lips started to leave a pattern of kisses from your left ankle to the inside of your knee, moving up to your inner thigh as his eyes never left yours. Your whimpered at his kiss on such a soft spot and Rafe couldn’t help but smile. “Rafe, please”, you almost begged.

“What do you want, princess?”, he asked with a smirk, and you bit your lower lip.

Ignoring the nickname, you looked at him dead in the eye and said: “You.”

Rafe leaned down on you once again and you gladly accepted his lips as he kissed you — the kiss was intense, way more than the previous ones, and that’s when you knew Rafe couldn’t hold back anymore.

Trying not to disconnect your lips from his, you frantically tried to get rid of his boxers. And when he helped you to do so, you immediately lifted your hips to meet his, making Rafe groaned against your lips. “I’ve wanted this for so long”, he revealed with short breath.

“Rafe”, you whispered, fighting back a moan as he pushed his body down to yours, his erection rubbing against the lips of your intimacy.

“Tell me you trust me”, he said.

Without any kind of hesitation, you held his face with both hands and looked at him in the eye. “I trust you”, you articulated, trying to pull yourself together at his movements. Feeling the need to grasp for air against his lips as he continued to tease you by rubbing the tip of his member against your lips, you repeated “I’m so sorry.”

“Fuck, Y/N”, he murmured as he buries his face on your neck.

“Rafe”, you tried to catch his attention, feeling the urge to tell him the truth. “Rafe, look at me.” A moan escaped your lips at his movements, and you held his face with both hands as you looked at him in the eyes and said: “I love you, Rafe. I love you so much.”

When his eyes met yours again, he didn’t move for a few seconds. Then, Rafe gave you a long, heated kiss before pushing himself inside you. Placing a hand on your cheek, he groaned against your lips as he pushed his hips against yours with a deep thrust. Then he whispered: “Say it again.”

“I love you, Rafe”, you repeated, moaning against his lips. There was no exaggeration when you said you felt him everywhere. “So much.”

And all your fears disappear when after a few moments he finally replied “I love you. So fuckin’ much.”

Rafe looks down at you with such love in his eyes that your felt your breath shorten, and it had nothing to do with his constant movements inside of you. The tension in your lower abdomen was growing more and more, and you leaned your head back as you abandoned yourself to those amazing feelings he was giving you.

His lips immediately found the skin of your neck, and when you lifted your hips to second his movements, he slid one harm under you and surrounded your waist, pulling your body even closer to his. That’s when his movements became deeper, thrusting on you harder than before.

“Rafe”, you whispered as you placed your forehead against his, cupping his cheek with one hand as you held onto your sheets with the other. “Rafe, don’t stop. Don’t stop.”

Rafe moaned against your lips as you closed your eyes, welcoming the change of rhythm with a whimper that drove him insane. Trying to give him as much pleasure as he was giving you, you raised your hips to his, seconding his movements. Rafe moaned on your lips, feeling closer to the edge at every single movement you made against him, squeezing him tight.

“Baby, I’m so—”, you tried to say, not being able to hold back a moan as your clit started to graze his pelvis at every movement.

But Rafe knew you well. “I know, princess. I know”, he said by interrupting you, and he let one of his hands slide down your body to the point where your skins touched at every thrust, starting to tease your clit. “Wanna come for me?”

“Rafe”, you whispered against his lips with your eyes shut, “Please.”

“Look at me”, he asked, and at the sound of the moan you let out against his lips when his thumb caresses your clit, he feared he was gonna end way before you. When you did as requested and your eyes met his, Rafe whispered “You’re mine. All mine.”

Starting to nod rapidly at his words, eager to finish and release the tension that was now at its peak, all you managed to say is a weak “Yes. I’m yours, Rafe, I’m yours”, not even trusting your own voice.

And it’s like a weight is lifted off you as Rafe drives you to the apex with the fast movements of his thumb against your clit, holding you tight against him and hiding his head in the curve of your neck as your orgasm overwhelms you.

With your eyes still closed and your breath uneven, you let Rafe move against you a few times more before he finally joins you, and you felt him twitch inside of you as you held on tight on his sweaty shoulder.

“God”, he murmurs against your skin, his words coming muffled to your ears as he’s still hiding in the curve of your neck. “I love you so much.”

The two of you remained silent for a few moments as you still tried to regulate your breath, but then you broke the silence by saying “Say it one more time.”

Rafe slowly pulled away from you and your body immediately missed his warmth, but you didn’t dare to complain. When he didn’t reply, you almost expected him to walk away from you. Instead, he laid down on the mattress right next to you, gently pulling you to snuggle against him.

His hand immediately went to cup your cheek as you placed your forearm on his chest, letting your chin rest on top of him. “I love you, Y/N”, Rafe finally said, as the tips of his fingers lazily grazed your bare back, sending shivers all down your spine.

“Again”, you whispered, making Rafe giggle. His threw his head back on the pillow, a tired smile painted on his face as he gave you a long, peaceful look.

Even though there was so much to talk about, to sort out and clear up, nothing really mattered in that moment — Rafe Cameron made love to you. Hell, he loved you! After all, the universe gave you one more chance for the two of you to work out.

And so far, everything was working out just fine. Everything else was just confetti.

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