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paddoony · 2 years
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James: I'm probably one of the smartest and most skilled people in this building.
Remus:... Is your hand stuck in a candy machine?
James: I paid for mY SKITTLES, I'M GETTING MY SKITTLES
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paddoony · 2 years
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Peter: Fight me!
James and Sirius, standing behind him: if you even put a single hand on his head I will kill you.
Remus, standing behind them: if you even LOOK at either of them I will kill you.
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paddoony · 2 years
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Lily: [teaching James how to drive a muggle car] okay, you're driving, and Sirius and Remus walk into the road. quick, which do you hit?
James: Oh, definitely Sirius. I could never hurt Remus.
Lily: [massaging her temples] the breakes. you hit the brakes
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paddoony · 2 years
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James: I can't believe you and Sirius broke the bed last night
Lily:..sounds like you two had a crazy night
Remus: haha yeah...
[last night]
Remus: I bet you can't jump high enough to touch the ceiling
Sirius: try me
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paddoony · 2 years
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Lily: YOU GAVE SIRIUS COFEE?!?!
James: Of course not. I gave him this can of muggle fruit juice that was in your fridge. [shows three empty cans of Red-Bull]
Sirius: [Crashes trough the window as padfot] YIPEE YAY HEE!! LET'S PARTY AND DANCE NAKED!
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paddoony · 2 years
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[captured by a deatheater]
Remus: don't say a word
Sirius: fergaliciusus
Remus: I said no words
Sirius: Oh I see, three weeks ago while playing scrabble, it was not a word and now suddenly it is a word because is convenient for you
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paddoony · 2 years
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James: [tapping fingers on table]
Sirius:[taps fingers back furiously]
Lily:... What's going on?
Remus: morse code. They're talking
James: -.-- --- ..- .-. .... .- .. .-. .. ... .-. . .- .-.. .-.. -.-- ..- --. .-.. -.-- - --- -.. .- -.--
Sirius: [slams hands on table] YOU TAKE THAT BACK
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paddoony · 2 years
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Remus: I have no fear
James: What if you woke up one day and Sirius was actually taller than you?
Remus:
Remus: I have one fear
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paddoony · 2 years
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Remus: I wanna show you a picture from last nigh that really upset me
Sirius: Okay but in my defence, Prongs bet me 10 galeons that I couldn't drink all that shampoo
Remus: That's not what I wanted to-you drank shampoo?!
Sirius: what
Sirius: no
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paddoony · 2 years
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James: ᵃᵗ ᵐʸ ᶠᵘⁿᵉʳᵃˡ ⁱ'ᵐ ᵍᵒⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵃ ᵏᵃʰᵒᵒᵗ ᵍᵃᵐᵉ ʷⁱᵗʰ ¹⁰⁰⁰ qᵘᵉˢᵗⁱᵒⁿˢ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵐʸ ˡⁱᶠᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ʷʰᵒᵉᵛᵉʳ ʷⁱⁿˢ, ᵍᵉᵗˢ ᵐʸ ʷⁱˡˡ!!!!
Lily: Bold of you to assume i'm ever letting you die
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paddoony · 2 years
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"James, no," said Lily almost in a whisper.
They were both upstairs, scared. He was there and he was going for Harry. Maybe for them too.
"Yes Lily, I'll go down and stop him while you try to escape with Harry."
"James-"
"Lily...I can't...I can't let him hurt you or Harry."James said and then looked into her eyes and smiled "I've loved you since that day you hit me with a book in first year, I've loved you so much my heart can't take it and when we started dating I was the happiest man in this world. I feel so lucky that I got to meet you Lily Evans, I feel so lucky that you are the mother of my child and that you are the woman who holds my heart. Words are not enough to express how much I love you and I want you to never forget it, I love you Lily. I promise I will come back and we will run away with Harry" After that he kissed her and left her in the room with Harry. She knew he couldn't keep his promise and her fears were made real when she heard a loud sound downstairs. In that moment she knew, she knew she would never see James bloody Potter smile again.
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paddoony · 3 years
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James: Is that Vodka?
Remus: Yeah
James: Straight?
Remus: No, bi
James: the voDKA NOT YOU
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paddoony · 3 years
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James: I hope you die
Snape: Yeah? I hope you step on a lego
James: Take that back. TAKE IT BACK
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paddoony · 3 years
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Lily: All you do is eat, sleep, and complain about life
Remus: That's not true. There's one thing I do more often
Lily: oh yeah? And what's that?
Sirius: *popping out of nowhere* Me!
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paddoony · 3 years
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Death eater: We have your aunt
Harry: Which one
Death eater:... What
Harry: You heard me
Death eater: Uh... Blond hair, lesbian and has a leather jacket?
Harry: Oh You mean aunt Marlene! Yeah, no, you don't have her... she has you
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paddoony · 3 years
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Sirius: There's only four ways to do things, the right way, the wrong way, the Remus way and the Sirius way.
The marauders:???
Sirius: The Remus way is the faster way to the right way, the Sirius way just creates another problems to cover the original problem, which leads to a snowball of problems no one understand.
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paddoony · 3 years
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James: Harry, you're getting older now, you're gonna start acting like your own age.
Sirius, sprinting by: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!!
James: *on top of the fridge* HA HA YOU LOST HARRY
Harry: I just-
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