panwyvern

[panwyvern]

So what makes a butcher knife more butch than other knives?

[panwyvern]

im going to skim a handful of the most popular saw fanfiction and then tell you what i think the plot of the saw film franchise is, ok?

[panwyvern]

freaks and degenerates are just so much nicer and kinder than the rest of you idk. i love you perverts with illegal and unethical fantasies thank you for being so nice to me

[panwyvern]

[panwyvern]

Hey so uh when’s destiel becoming canon again? It’s getting kinda quiet around here

[panwyvern]

[panwyvern]

does a single vivziepop character leave the onceler BMI bracket or are they all build like garden shed tools

[panwyvern]

really recommend getting a partner with a different religion than you and very little knowledge of your religion because the opportunities for explaining things to each other are just exquisite

[panwyvern]

I low-key love the fact that sci-fi has so conditioned us to expect to be hanging out with a bunch of cool space aliens, that legitimate, actual scientists keep proposing the most bizarre, three-blunts-into-the-rotation "theories" to explain the fact we're not.

Some of my favourites include:

Zoo Theory: What if there are loads of aliens out there, but they're not talking to us because of the Prime Directive from Star Trek? (Or because they're doing experiments on us???)

Dark Forest Theory: What if there are loads of aliens out there, but they all hate us and each other so they're all just waiting with a shotgun pointed at the door, ready to open fire on anything that moves?

Planetarium Theory: What if there's at least one alien with mastery over light and matter that's just making it seem to us that the universe is empty to us as, like, a joke?

Berserker Theory: What if there were loads of aliens, but one of them made infinite killer robots that murdered everyone and are coming for us next?!!

Like, the universe is at least 13,700,000,000 years old and 46,000,000,000 light years big. We have had the ability to transmit and receive signals for, what, 100 years, and our signals have so far travelled 200 light years?

The fact is biological life almost certainly has, does, or will develop elsewhere in the universe, and it's not impossible that a tiny amount of it has, does, or will develop in a way that we would understand as "intelligent". But, like, we're realistically never going to know because of the scale of the things involved.

So I'm proposing my own hypothesis. I call it the "Fool in a Field" hypothesis. It goes like this:

Humanity is a guy standing in the middle of a field at midnight. It's pitch black, he can't move, and he's been standing there for ages. He's just had the thought to swing his arms. He swings one of his arms, once, and does not hit another person. "Oh no!" He says. "Robots have killed them all!"

[panwyvern]

Im gonna shuffle my giant playlist of every song i like and if the very first one that plays isnt exactly what i want to hear right this second im gna lose it

[panwyvern]

Being on Tumblr from ten years ago until now and seeing how it's aged is so funny. When I first got here everything was like "haha lol so random, superwholock, taquitos, tumblr university!" but today I just scrolled past three different memes about tax season

[panwyvern]

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine "Past Tense, Pt. 1"

[panwyvern]

boys: jacking off

girls: jilling off

non binary : ferching a pail of water

[panwyvern]

The only thing crazier than a character clearly intended to be gay but kept in the plausible deniability subtext zone due to censorship issues is a character in a series where only like one of the writers clearly intended them to be gay. So this character is just gay sometimes and nobody acknowledges it

[panwyvern]

Pornbots are so annoying like I’m not gonna fall for this I’m not an idiot I know sex isn’t real and its just something made up for destiel fanfiction

[panwyvern]

[panwyvern]

OBSESSED with the fact that supernatural is trending because a character came out as bi ON A DIFFERENT SHOW! hilarious. Supernatural you will always be famous