paracsms

[paracsms]

might use gifs instead of photos for my fics now idk

[paracsms]

no more hiding

pairing: sirius black x slytherin!fem!reader

summary: after months of keeping your love a secret, you feel it’s time to change that. you could only hope sirius feels the same way

warnings: fluff

word count: 1.8k

note: haven’t posted in a while oops :// anyway enjoyy

masterlist

dating sirius black? no, thank you...

…is what your first year self would have said. he was loud, rebellious, disruptive, mischievous. and any other adjective you could think of. he flirted with everything that walked, the annoying giggles of the girl he was trying to impress often rang through the halls. not to mention the aggravating pranks he and his friends pulled, of which your house always seemed to be the victims.

your younger self disliked sirius black wholeheartedly.

so she would definitely laugh in your face if she knew what you were currently up to.

“did anyone see you?”

“no, took the path you suggested.”

you grinned at your boyfriend, his arms quickly going around you as soon as you’re in reach, pressing a kiss to your lips. “i've missed you today.” he tells you, face inches away from yours. you shook your head, “sirius, you saw me at lunch not two hours ago.”

“tell me about it.” he mutters, diving back down to capture your lips. you smile into the kiss as he pulls you closer. before the both of you completely get lost in eachother, you break the kiss. “we’re gonna be late to class.” you warn when he leans back down. “i’m okay with that.” he mumbles, nuzzling into your neck.

“but i’m not.” you groan playfully, hands coming up to his chest as you barely put effort into pushing him away. “fine.” sirius relents, but keeps his hands on your hips, lovingly looking down at you.

sneaking around with sirius was thrilling, the risk of being caught only adding to the excitement. keeping your relationship under wraps had been a mutual decision. at the time, sirius was still living with his awful parents and them finding out he was dating someone would've been dreadful. them finding out the person he was dating was a slytherin? catastrophic.

you, on the other hand, had an okay relationship with your family. they didn't care about blood status, but they did care about reputation. you were specifically told not to ‘embarrass’ the family name. so that meant perfect grades, perfect attendance, perfect behaviour. if they found out you were dating one of hogwarts’ resident rebels and pranksters, it would not go over well.

but that had been before. both you and sirius have grown since the start of your relationship. he had moved out and was now living with the potters, free to live his life however he desired without the scrutiny of his parents.

you had managed to convince your parents that you were responsible and mature enough to make your own decisions. it had not been easy, but they trusted you enough to make the right choices regarding your future.

but it only recently occurred to you, why were you still keeping it a secret?

your secret rendezvous with the gryffindor boy were fun, yes, but you couldn't help but wonder how it would be to hold his hand in public, to kiss him without having to check if there was anyone around. you hadn't told sirius of your concerns yet, afraid it would burst the bubble the two of you shared.

you also wondered if sirius ever had these thoughts. though you’d force yourself not to dwell on it too much, a lingering anxiety forming as the painful thought of him not feeling the same clouded your mind.

as sirius held you close in a secluded corridor, you tried to muster up the courage to ask him,

“sirius?”

“yes, my love.” he hummed, smiling at you as he awaited your question. you take a deep breath, “i know we decided to keep us a secret,” your hands suddenly feel clammy. “do you ever, i don't know, think that maybe it's time to-”

“wait.” he cuts you off, holding up a finger as his eyebrows furrow. then his head suddenly snaps to yours, “someone’s coming.” he looks around cautiously as he hears footsteps approaching. “we’ll continue this later.” he said, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before taking off, leaving you dumbfounded.

-

it was only halfway through mcgonagall’s lesson when your words finally dawned on sirius.

“maybe it's time,”

time for what? surely you couldn't mean ending your relationship. sirius knew you to be a very upfront and direct person. if something made you upset or angry, you would make it known. you were always honest with him, telling him exactly what was on your mind. if he did something wrong, you would most certainly not keep quiet.

but you didn't look angry, no, you seemed…nervous?

sirius spent the rest of the lesson (and the remaining classes) pondering what you were about to tell him before he foolishly cut you off. he decided to not even entertain the idea of the two of you breaking up.

a theory had crossed his mind, one that filled him with glee and excitement. were you about to tell him that you were ready to go public? to stop hiding your love for one another. he could only hope.

-

it was just before dinner. classes had ended for today and the boys were up in their dorms, discussing their daily antics.

“oh and preparations for the party are well under way, fellas.” james informed the group, making them hum in excitement. james liked to go all out for his birthday, this year he decided to throw a party for himself, with the help of his friends of course.

“are you inviting your girlfriend, pads?”

sirius almost choked on his own saliva. clearing his throat, he tried to manage his expressions. “girlfriend?” he asks cluelessly.

“y/n?”

his eyes widen, “y/n? y/n y/l/n? the slytherin? why would, uh- why would you think that?’ he can feel his heart pounding in his chest. he had been so careful. did they catch the two of you somewhere? did he accidentally let it slip? did you accidentally let it slip?

“you know we can see the two of you together on the map, right?” remus asks, eyes narrowed at his friend. sirius’ mouth falls open in silent shock, “oh.” he whispers before letting out a long groan. “oh. the map!” he slaps a hand to his forehead, reprimanding himself for his own forgetfulness.

“well, now we know why sirius isn't a ravenclaw.”

the boys laugh at his reaction, making sirius sigh. “why didn't you say anything?” he asks. they shrugged. “we figured you’d tell us when you were ready.” james tells him, patting him on the back. “plus, you seemed happy, so why intervene?” he added.

a smile grows on sirius’ face. “i am happy.”

james, remus and peter all nod proudly at their friend. “glad to hear it, padfoot. she's a lovely girl.” remus said, making them hum in agreement.

“yeah, she once switched seats with me so i could sit next to lily.”

“she also scared off some slytherins that were messing with me one time.”

“she gives me notes from the days i miss classes because, well you know.”

a warmth spreads through sirius as he listens to the most important people in his life approve of you and your relationship. he had no idea you were doing all of that. if his love for you wasn't already massive, it just grew tenfold.

“so it's settled, she's coming to the party.” james decides, clapping his hands together. sirius slightly deflates at that, his friends taking notice. “what's wrong?”

he lets out a breath, “we decided to keep our relationship a secret because of our families.” he mumbles. “sirius, you don't live with them anymore. i thought you didn't care what they thought.”

“and i don't. i’ve been wanting to stop hiding for months now.”

“so, it's her parents then? she still wants to keep it a secret.”

“yeah, no. i don't know.”

the boys gave him a confused look, “you haven't asked her?” remus furrows his eyebrows. sirius shakes his head, “what if she doesn't want to?”

“what if she does?” remus counters, pursing his lips. sirius let out a soft sigh, “i think she was gonna ask me that earlier, but then we got interrupted and i only realized after i left.” he runs a hand through his hair, the anxiety from earlier settling back into his chest.

“sirius,” james puts a hand on his shoulder. “we can tell you really care about this girl. so i say, you just ask her. maybe she's having the exact same worries as you right now.”

“yeah, i guess you're right.”

“of course, i'm right.” james boasts, gesturing his arms out. “okay, let's go to dinner. i'm starving.”

-

after your encounter with sirius came to an abrupt end, you spent the rest of the day trying not to think about it, which proved to be quite difficult as sirius occupied your mind very often. maybe you shouldn't have said anything. it's not that your unhappy with him, in fact its the opposite. you're the happiest you could ever be.

if he wasn't ready, then you weren't either. you were fine loving him in secret, because he was still yours either way.

you shook your head as if to rid your mind of the subject. taking a deep breath, you entered the great hall. it was already packed with hungry students, more filed in behind you. your eyes searched the room for sirius, sighing when you didn't find him.

a hand found its way onto your lower back, you slightly jumped before turning around when a familiar scent hit you.

“sirius, what are you-”

he cuts you off by pressing his lips against yours, hands cupping your cheeks and you feel him smile against your lips. your shock quickly wears off as you kiss him back, forgetting that you were standing in the great hall in front of the whole school. sirius breaks the kiss first, but still holds you close, a coy smile on his face.

you feel your cheeks burn red as you hold back a grin, looking around to see all of your schoolmates gawking at you. you press your lips together as you meet sirius’ gaze. “what was that?” you whispered to him, making him shrug. “just felt like it.”

“but i thought that-”

“i know. and i should've asked you earlier. all that sneaking around was fun, but i want to take you out on dates, show you off and kiss you whenever and wherever i want.

“i want that too.”

sirius smiles brightly at you before leaning down to press another kiss to your lips. “so, you wanna sit with me and the guys today?” he asks, entwining your hand with his. you nod excitedly, “oh, i bet they have tons of embarrassing stories about you.” you poke him teasingly, making sirius pause,

“actually on second thought...”

#sirius black x reader #sirius black #ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #sirius black x female reader #sirius black x slytherin reader #sirius black x you #sirius black fluff #sirius black fic #sirius black fanfiction #harry potter #marauders #marauders era

[paracsms]

all my google docs from the past few months have disappeared... all my works i had pre written and wip’s i was planning on revisting once i had the inspiration literally all GONE. i am seething, literally so pissed off

#no im so angry #idk what to do

[paracsms]

a silence so loud

pairing: billy russo x fem!reader

summary: after an argument, you decide to give billy the silent treatment. billy finds out just how much he hates it

warnings: angst + fluff, allusions to sex

word count: 3.2k

note: when men grovel 🥰🥰

it has been a hectic past few days at anvil. billy had been burning the midnight oil this whole week. he sat at his desk, fingers rubbing over his temple as he looked over his paperwork. a half empty bottle of bourbon resting on the surface, his trusty companion these past few nights. a sigh leaves his lips as stretches his neck, rolling his shoulders back.

“billy?”

billy almost doesn't hear you, too engrossed with the file in his hand. when he doesn't answer, you quietly step into his office. “billy?” you say again. this time he barely glances up at you before going back to his work.

you suck in a breath, walking over to stand in front of his desk. his disheveled state getting clearer the closer you come, the bags under his eyes, his hair in disarray, his suit jacket hanging off the back of his chair, his tie hanging loosely around his neck and the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up to his elbows.

you had been working at anvil part time, helping out with some administration work whenever you needed to. billy took a particular interest in you. people warned you about getting involved with someone from work. the fact that billy was your boss certainly did not help.

you tried to fight the attraction, but in all honesty, you didn't want to. billy russo is… alluring. so after months of flirty banter, you finally agreed to go out on a date with him, much to his pleasure.

“how long have you been here?”

billy shrugs, continuing to comb through his files. “okay. when was the last time you ate something?”

“sandwich at lunch.” he mumbled, you almost didn't hear it. “billy, that was almost twelve hours ago.”

“so?”

you roll your eyes at your boyfriend, “here,” you put down a brown paper bag on his desk, “burger and fries. eat.” his hand moves to grab the bag and your eyes widen in satisfaction, but quickly dim down when he moves it to the side as it was resting on top of a document.

“not hungry.” billy murmurs, crossing out something with his pen. you internally groan at his shortness. you know he’s stressed, which is why you stayed behind today, to see if you could convince him to take a break. but your boyfriend is a stubborn man, determined, but stubborn.

“babe, you gotta eat.” he doesn't respond to that. “want something done right, i gotta do it myself.” he mutters to himself as he crumples up a piece of paper and carelessly tosses it to the side. you let out a dejected breath, moving to sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

you watch as he frustratingly runs his fingers through his hair, and by the state of his hair you can tell it wasn't the first time he’d done so. your gaze settled on his face as his eyes moved from the file on his desk to his computer screen, darting back and forth to double check all the information.

“billy.” you call out softly. no answer. “billy.” you try again. zilch. “mic check. one, two, three.” you joke and while it’s a stupid one, it had been an inside joke between the two of you after some technical difficulties you had during one of your facetimes. still no reaction.

you know he's stressed, you know the pressure he’s under. that’s why you hadn't said anything these past few days, hoping his workload would eventually let up and he’ll be a functioning human being once more. but now he seemed even further away, even more distant.

and while you understand how important the company is to him, dear lord did you miss him.

of course, you didn't want to monopolize his time. you didn't need to spend every waking moment at his side, but you hadn't touched each other in weeks, when you kissed it was just a quick peck, neither of you deepening the kiss as billy constantly had to rush from one place to another.

“baby, why don't you take a break? get some shut eye, all of this will still be here when you come back.” you spoke softly, leaning forward your chair, tilting your head so you can meet his eyes. billy still doesn’t look up, but he shakes his head no, humming in refusal.

“billy, come on you've been at this non stop. let’s get some fresh air.” you try again, billy ignores you. you know he's on edge, but you're not far behind either. “can you at least look at me? this isn't healthy, you need to-”

you halt as billy slams his fist on the desk, eyes closed in frustration as he takes a deep breath. you jolt back, heart racing in your chest as you await his further reaction.

“fucking hell, can you just- y/n, i’m sorry i can’t be your attentive little boyfriend 24/7. i am up to my fucking neck here! so either you leave or shut up and be quiet because i can't deal with your nagging right now!”

you stare at him in disbelief, mouth hanging slightly open at his outburst. you almost shiver at the cold look in his eyes. his jaw clenched as he let out heavy sighs. a silence falls upon you, tension quickly filling the air. you've had arguments and little spats, of course. but billy never once raised his voice at you.

you were a strong headed person. you stood your ground and took no shit. it's what billy likes about you, you challenged him and saw through his bullshit.

“nagging?” you purse your lips. “i’m nagging you? okay, fine. i'll leave.” it was late and you were in no mood to argue with him. you quickly gather your things before storming out of his office. if he wanted quiet, who were you to deny him?

“enjoy the peace and quiet.”

-

the next morning you’re seated at your desk, typing away when you see billy approaching. he looks at you warily before setting down a cup of coffee on your desk. he always does that. on his way to work, he stops by a cafe and buys two coffees, one for himself and one for you.

you look at the cup before tilting your head to meet his eyes. you wait for him to say something. when he doesn't, you reach for the coffee sitting on your desk, but not the one he just brought to you, no, the one you had bought for yourself earlier this morning. you bring it to your lips while staring at him.

billy holds back a scoff, “what is that? i bring you coffee every morning.” you shrug. billy presses his lips together. “i tried calling you last night.” he did. about ten times.

you turn back to your computer, suddenly your empty email inbox seems very interesting. billy lets out an unamused laugh. “really? silent treatment?” you stay quiet, billy shakes his head before grabbing the coffee and heading off to his office.

-

billy sat at his desk, head in his hands. only this time it had nothing to do with the overwhelming amount of work (which had been reducing as of this morning, thanks to all of his late nights). it had to do with you. he knew he had fucked up last night. the look on your face after he yelled at you was burned into his memory, unwavering despite his attempts at forgetting.

after you left, he finished the bottle of bourbon, and almost opened another one. a part of him was glad you didn't answer his calls, shuddering at the thought of what he might've said in his drunken stupor. he knew you were still mad at him, he knew had to make it up to you. but how?

his thoughts were interrupted when you walked in. he immediately sat up straight, eyes following you as you walk towards him. the glimmer of hope that filled his chest left as soon as it came when you placed an open document in front him. your finger pointing to the dotted line where his signature was missing. billy sighed as he grudgingly reached for a pen and quickly signed the form. when you go to grab it, he hesitantly takes your wrist in his hand.

“still not talking to me?”

you blink at him, snatching your arm out of his grasp and grabbing the file. “sweets, you can't keep this up forever.” you tilt your chin at him, silently accepting the challenge. billy goes to say something when frank walks in, halting his speech. frank gives you a smile when he sees you, “y/n! how you doin, kid?” you return his smile, “doing good, frank. how about you? how’s maria and the kids?”

billy perked up at your voice, eyes wide as he watched the exchange between you and his best friend.

“they're great. we got a new-”

“what the fuck?” billy suddenly exclaims, making frank whip his head to him. “geez, bill.” billy keeps his gaze on you, though. shaking his head as he stands up from his chair. “you'll talk to him? him? but not me!?” he’s not yelling, but more speaking in annoyance and frustration, through gritted teeth. you slowly turn to face him, feigning a look of innocence. you hold his glare before abruptly turning on your heel. “give the family my best, would you, frank?” you call out before exiting the office.

frank’s eyes confusingly dart between and billy and the door, “do i wanna know?” he asks as billy runs a hand over his face before sitting back down. “she's mad at me.”

“yeah, clearly. what'd you do?”

“you know how crazy shit’s been here lately?”

frank hummed, “yeah with the new recruits and homeland breathing down our necks.” billy nodded in confirmation. “was working late, she stopped by to check on me,” billy paused, pinching the bride of his nose as his eyes closed shut, “god, she was just trying to help,”

“anyway, i was running on like 2 hours of sleep and i was so on edge that i ended up lashing out at her. told her to be quiet and stop nagging me.” he lets out a humorless chuckle, “guess she's just doing what i asked, huh?”

“fuck, bill. you apologize yet?

“yeah.”

“what’d you say?” frank prompted, crossing his arms. “well, i tried calling her last night, but she didn't answer. then i got her a coffee this morning-”

“wait, you apologized with a coffee?” billy nodded cluelessly, causing frank to roll his eyes. “you get her coffee every goddamn morning! how is that an apology?” he almost wants to reach over and smack billy over the head.

“so i should get her like, jewelry or something?”

“jesus christ- this is your first real relationship, right?”

“yeah. why?”

“it's painfully obvious.”

“well, then what the fuck should i do?” billy groans. frank lets out a chuckle, never thinking he would see billy in such a predicament.

“a safe place to start would be with the words ‘i’m sorry’.”

-

billy nervously stood at your door, taking a deep breath. throughout the day he had watched you in the office, how you talked so frivolously with your co workers, handing out smiles like fucking candy. it killed him that not once was he on the receiving end of one.

hesitantly he brings his fist up and softly knocks on the door, three light raps. he hears you shuffling around as footsteps approach. he can see the shadow of your feet as you stand in front of the door. he sees you pause, no doubt looking through the peephole at him. he worries that you won’t open the door, much less let him in.

after a few moments, billy’s ready to throw in the towel, but then he hears the unmistakable sound of the chain being taken off your door, followed by the twisting of the door knob. the door opens slightly and you reveal yourself. a smile tugs at billy’s lips at the sight of you. “hi.” you don't greet him, as expected. “can i come in?” he asks softly. “i've got pizza. your favorite.” he holds up the box.

when you step to the side and gesture a hand out, billy lets out an audible sigh of relief. he carefully steps into your apartment, familiarity hitting him hard. his heart wrenches at the fact that he can't remember the last time he’d been here. was it a week? two, maybe? he doesn't know, but it was far too long either way.

he realized that your silence wasn't just an act of punishment at his outburst yesterday, no, it had been building up. he'd been neglecting you and the time you spent together for a while now. part of him wonders why you'd let it go on for so long, why you didn't call him out. but he knew you thought it would eventually ease up. but it didn't, he didn't.

he sets the pizza down on your dining table before turning to face you. your arms are crossed over your chest. billy gives you a soft smile before extending the hand holding a bouquet out to you. you don't grab it immediately, your eyes flickering from billy to the flowers.

“they're- uh, white tulips? florist said they symbolize forgiveness or something.”

his smile gradually falters as his shoulders sag and he hangs his head down. he lets out a breath before looking back up at you. “y/n. i’m sorry. i'm so sorry. i was a complete dick. i never should’ve lashed out on you. it was stupid and you don’t deserve that. you don't deserve any of the shit i've been putting you through these past few weeks.” he rambles almost desperately, flailing his free arm in the air.

“i promise you will never have to go through that again. i will take any punishment you see fit, i'll do anything you want but for the love of god please just talk to me!” his voice almost cracks as his eyes become watery. you remain silent. “please, just- i need to hear your voice. yell at me, scream, cuss me out, call me every fucking name in the book, but i can’t- this,” he gestures to you, more your silence.

“this is torture. so please, will you talk to me?”

you take a moment to study him. you purse your lips before moving to grab the tulips out his hand. you walk over to the kitchen, reaching into a cabinet you pull out a vase. you rinse it and fill it with water before depositing the flowers inside and displaying them on the dining table, setting them next to the pizza.

billy watches you, frozen in place. almost as if he's scared any sudden movement will scare you away. you take a seat at the table. “come on, the pizza’s getting cold.” it takes a second for your voice to register in billy’s brain. a calm spreads through his chest. he carefully walks over to the other side of the table, pulling out a chair before slotting himself in it.

his eyes don't leave you as you pull open the lid of the pizza box. “i'm still mad at you.” you tell him. billy grins at you, “that's okay, just keep talking.”

“billy, i know anvil means a lot to you and i don’t ever want you to choose between me or the company. but i didn't like seeing you like that, billy. you were barely a person. you were like a workaholic zombie.”

billy laughs, “workaholic zombie?”

“yeah. instead of brains, they feed on emails and manilla colored folders.”

“gotcha. babe, i promise you this will never happen again. i don't know what happened to me, i just wanted to get some extra work done so it wouldn't pile up, but then it piled up anyway. i'm so sorry.”

“billy, i'm never gonna ask you to put me before anvil. but i am gonna ask you to put your own well being before anvil. no more working yourself to the bone, no more refusing to eat the food your awesome girlfriend brings to you at ungodly hours. you've sacrificed enough for this company, let's not add your mental stability to the list. like you seriously need some r&r.”

a comfortable silence fills the room. billy looks at you adoringly as you munch away at the pizza. “way ahead of you. taking two weeks off." you nod proudly at him, “that’ll do you some good.”

“it'll do us some good.” he corrects. you furrow your eyebrows, “huh?”

“you're taking two weeks off too.” he smirks devilishly at you. “billy.” you whine. “come on, if i'm gonna relax, i'm doing it with you by my side.” you shake your head. you try to object, but a two week vacation sounds like heaven right now. billy teasingly raises his eyebrows at you and you can't fight off the smile forming on your face. billy knows your answer.

“so i was thinking paris or italy.” billy suggests, reaching for a slice of pizza. you inwardly smile as this is the first time you've seen him eat anything in a while.

“you wanna go to europe for two weeks?”

billy shrugs, “why not?” you let out a laugh, “when i said relax, i meant like sleeping in and watching shitty movies all day.”

“and we can do that in venice too.”

“you're crazy.”

billy stands from his chair, walking over to you, “not hearing no yet, sweets.” he leaned down, stopping inches away from your face. you can feel his breath on your lips. you tilt your head teasingly, pretending to ponder the subject. “i mean, i guess. if you need me to be there.” you say with mock annoyance.

“oh, i definitely need you.” he smirks before capturing lips on his, he relishes in the feeling. not realizing how much he’d miss this. surprised how he went so long without it. your arms go around his neck, pulling him closer to you. billy hums into the kiss, his hands come down to rest on your waist before gripping them tightly and pulling you up. you raise to your feet, but you can barely find your footing before he lifts you and makes you wrap your legs around his waist.

you abruptly pull away from the kiss and billy groans. “wait, i'm supposed to be mad at you.” you say in between breaths, chest heaving as billy grips your thighs. billy nods. “then let me show you how sorry i am.” he whispers before bringing your lips to his again. he starts to walk to your bedroom, making sure he's holding you tight, all the while still keeping your lips locked, wanting to be as close to you as possible.

he pulls away to press kisses down your neck. he stops at your collarbone before following the same path upwards, a soft hum escaping your lips. he nudges your nose with his, eyes darkening with lust as he leans down to whisper in your ear,

“whatever you do, don't you dare stay quiet. i wanna hear everything, sweetheart.”

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #billy russo x y/n #ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #the punisher #billy russo fanfic #billy russo fic

[paracsms]

getting closer and closer to writing for anthony bridgerton like its so serious

[paracsms]

secrets i have held in my heart

pairing: sirius black x fem!reader

summary: when a slytherin classmate asks you out, you gladly accept. but why is sirius so upset about it?

warnings: angst + fluff

word count: 3.0k

note: not sure if the title makes sense but i was listening to i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys while writing this soo.... enjoyy

“who were you just talking to? seemed awfully friendly.”

a smile pulled at your lips as you approached your friends, grinning at lily’s question. “vincent richmond. he's in our year.” you replied.

“who!?”

and that would be sirius black, who nearly spat out his juice at your mention of the boy’s name. “vincent richm-” you go to repeat but sirius interjects again. “no, i heard you. what i meant to say was.. why?”

you ignored sirius and turned back to lily, “as i was saying, he asked me to go to hogsmeade with him this weekend.” you tell her excitedly.

“he what!?”

“sirius please, i'm trying to have a conversation with lily.”

sirius shook his head, moving closer to you. “so what did he say when you rejected him?” he asked as he raised his eyebrows. you rolled your eyes as you let out a sigh. “i didn't reject him.” his eyes grow wide, “you didn’t?” he almost whispers as if saying it too loud might get him in trouble.

“i didn’t.”

“why not?” his voice is much louder now. you look at him with disbelief and confusion. “why not? uhh i don't know. maybe because he's nice-”

“nice? he's a slytherin! lily, tell her she can't go on this date.” he looks over to your friend. she shrugs, “she can make her own decisions, sirius. in fact, i encourage it.”

sirius’ mouth opens in shock. “encourage it? why?”

“well, she's been hung up on-” she's cut off by a nudge. her eyes widen as she realized what she's almost revealed. meeting your glare, she offers you an apologetic smile.

“i mean, you know, it's just a date. let her have fun.” she awkwardly stumbles through her sentence, shamefully looking down to her food once she’s finished.

“homework!” you suddenly call out. “i forgot my potions essay in the dorm, i'll go fetch it.” it wasn't a lie, you really did forget, but thankfully it gave you the opportunity to leave the conversation and get away from sirius.

you couldn't believe him. why was he so against you and vincent? it annoyed you to no end, or rather it confused you. but that seemed to be your friendship with him, confusing. sirius black was in possession of something very dangerous, charm. and unfortunately, you fell victim to it.

everyone knew he was a natural flirt. all he had to do was flash a cheeky smile and girls fell at his feet. and oh, how you tried not to fall for it, tried to resist. but the heart is a fickle thing, is it not?

but the risk of your friendship was too big. during your time at hogwarts, sirius had become a very good friend of yours. he was spontaneous, fun, but most of all loyal. you treasured the relationship you had with him, and not wanting to jeopardize it, you decide to keep your growing feelings for the boy to yourself. who even knows if he felt the same?

it was hard at first. so much so, that lily took notice how your gaze lingered on him, how you laughed a little louder at his jokes. once she confronted you, you knew you couldn't keep it from her. however, telling her of your feelings had proved to be helpful. somehow getting everything off your chest aided you in getting over the long haired boy. although, not completely.

once you retrieved your homework, you quickly made haste so as not to miss your first class when you were stopped by sirius. “what?”

“are you really going to hogsmeade with richmond?”

you let out a sigh, running a hand through your hair. “i am.” sirius’ shoulders sag at your answer, head slowly hanging down. “but why?” you stayed silent for a moment, waiting until sirius meets your eyes once again. “because he asked me.”

“you can't go out with him.” he insists to which you rolled your eyes. “why is that?” you challenged, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared him down. “b-because he's a slytherin!”

“so?” you tilt your head at him. “so? so, he's evil?” he exclaims. “evil? sirius, you don't even know him.”

“neither do you!”

your hand comes up to your temple, rubbing it in frustration. “exactly, so i'm going on this date to decide for myself what kind of person he is.”

“but-”

“why are you against this? as my friend, i’d think you want me to be happy.”

sirius jaw clenches at your words, “is that what you think? i don't want you to be happy?” you press your lips together as you shrug your shoulders, “i don't what else to think, sirius!”

“i’m only acting this way because i want you to be happy; i'm looking out for you!”

“looking out for me? you haven't given me a valid reason as to why i shouldn't go out with vincent.”

“yes i have.”

“no, you've only shown your contempt for him about twenty times over.”

“i told you, he's tricking you. he’s a snake.”

“because that's the only reason someone would ever express interest in me. to make me the butt of some joke?”

sirius looks taken aback at your statement, “that is not at all what i said, you are not listening to me.”

“i think i've listened enough.” you huff. the tension is high, a few of your fellow students lingering in the hallway to listen in on the argument. the both of you are practically fuming with anger. “oh have you?” sirius snarks. you nod at him. he shakes his head, “you know, i'm only looking out for you,” his voice is stern. “i don't want to see you get hurt.” he added.

“i can take care of myself.”

sirius nodded, lips pursed as he let out a sigh, “fine. but don't come crying to me when it all goes to shit!” he called out before turning on his heel. “don't worry, i won’t need to!” you yell at his retreating figure.

-

it's hogsmeade weekend, which means it's time for your date with vincent. you had been giddy about it all week, save for the spat you had with sirius. you haven't spoken to him since, not that he made any effort either.

nonetheless you were gonna go on this date and you were gonna have a good time, regardless of what sirius thinks.

with the help of the girls, you picked out a great outfit and did your hair. after a small pep talk from your friends, you were off to hogsmeade. vincent told you he'd meet you at the three broomsticks and from then on you'd see where the day takes you. the girls sent you off while they went to honeydukes, wishing you good luck as they did so.

-

“she’s really going on the date.”

“sorry mate.” james comforted sirius as he laid on his bed, head buried in a pillow. the boys had decided to sit this hogsmeade weekend. mostly for sirius’ sake. he didn't want to risk the chance of running into you, of running into you and vincent. “it's just one date, pads. who knows what’ll come of it.” james continued. “but now she's angry at me.” sirius groaned.

“i don't blame her.” remus decides to speak up. sirius lifts his head from the pillow. “et tu, moony?”

“you were being a git. she's right to be angry with you.”

“i was only trying to warn her- how could she go out with him?”

“well, i'm sure if you told her the actual reason you don't want her going on this date, she wouldn’t currently be on the date.” remus pointed out, james nodding in agreement. “he's right, pads.”

“oh, what do you know? you've been pining after lily for the past six years and she still won't give you the time of day.”

“okay, i know you didn't mean that. you're hurt because the girl you're in love with is currently on a date with someone else. so i forgive you. cheap shot, though.”

sirius gasps, “woah, woah. in love? i’m not in love with y/n.” he says, looking up to his friends who now have unamused looks on their faces. “i'm not! wormy, back me up here.” sirius urges peter, who looks away awkwardly, not saying anything. sirius mouth falls open. “really, wormtail?”

“it's pretty obvious, padfoot.” peter spoke softly, james and remus both hum in agreement. “obvious to everyone but him. and y/n, apparently.” remus adds. sirius shakes his head.

“i'm not in love. she's my friend and i want the best for her.” james goes to interject but sirius continues, “okay maybe i have a little crush, but can you blame me? she's amazing. she's so smart and brave. and funny. and i love spending time with her, it's the best part of my day-”

james, remus and peter all share knowing glances as sirius rambles on, fighting off smiles when sirius gets up to pace around the room all the while still talking.

“.. her hair always sits so pretty and she smells amazing and it's not that i don't want her to date, i just don't want her dating anyone but me-” sirius pauses in his rant and his pacing. his eyebrows furrow before his eyes widen as if he came to a realization.

“i’m in love with y/n.”

“finally!” the boys shout in unison at his revelation, getting up to pat him on the back. they celebrate for a bit before sirius freezes. “i have to stop that date.”

-

it had been thirty minutes and vincent still hasn't shown up. you'd stood outside the three broomsticks for five minutes before deciding to go in to look for him. when he wasn't inside, your mood started to deflate, but you decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. so you went back outside and kept on waiting.

while your patience was growing thin, your anger was getting stronger. you were ready to leave and look for your friends when you heard vincent’s voice.

“i told you!” as he came closer into view, you saw that he wasn't alone. he was joined by a group of boys. and they were laughing, some were even pointing at you. furious, you stomp over to vincent.

“do you know how long i’ve been waiting?”

the smug look on his face doesn't falter, “30 minutes? give or take?” he smirks at you and your face drops. “what?”

vincent let out a barking laugh, “oh, you didn't actually think i was interested in you, did you?” your eyes widen in shock, unable to find the words. “oh you did, didn’t you? too bad.”

your fists clench at your side at the sound of his voice, his laughter, his friend’s laughter. “so what, this was all just some dumb joke?”

“a bet, dollface. i suppose i should thank you, i'm a few galleons richer because of you. pay up, fellas!”

“you're awful.”

“good thing i don't care.” his friends break out into laughter once more, oh the dreadful sound. you were about to storm off but not before reaching for your wand and casting a few jinx spells.

-

you were currently being comforted by lily and marlene. they'd found you in the common room, sobbing on the couch. you would have gone up to your dorms but since everyone was at hogsmeade you had settled for the common room.

your sobs have stopped by now, but tears still flowed freely down your cheeks. “i'm such an idiot.” you sniffled. “no, you're not. he’s the idiot.” marlene assured, her hand comfortingly resting on your back. “she’s right. you are an amazing girl and he's an absolute arse for doing that to you.” lily spoke.

“merlin, he was right.” you sighed, burying your face in your hands. lily and marlene share a confused look, “who? vincent.”

“no,” you groan, “sirius-”

frantic footsteps can be heard suddenly, interrupting you. they get louder and louder until they reach the common room. you freeze at the sound of his voice. all four of the marauders are now in the room. you quickly wipe away at your tears and attempt to regulate your breathing. they spot lily and marlene first.

“girls, have you seen y/n-” james’ voice falters as he walks closer and spots you on the couch. at his abrupt silence, sirius quickly runs over to see why james had stopped talking. sirius freezes at the sight of you. surrounded by tissues. eyes red and puffy and cheeks flushed.

remus and peter soon join them, equally shocked at the situation. “what happened?” remus spoke softly, voice concerned. “nothing.” you quickly say, hoping they didn't hear the crack in your voice. “but you're crying.”

“i'm fine.”

“are you sure-”

“yes!” you look up to see the boys’ worried looks, you heave a sigh as you feel another tear falling down. not trusting your voice, you gesture to lily and marlene, giving them the okay to tell them what happened.

“vincent.”

sirius’ jaw clenches at the name, he has been quiet all this time, his eyes never leaving you. “the date was just some stupid bet with his friends. to see how long y/n would wait for him.” the boys gasp as their faces contort into disbelief, shock and anger.

sirius huffs, nostrils flaring as his fist clench at his side. he quickly turns to leave the room, ready to give vincent a piece of his mind when remus stops him. “don’t do anything stupid. you need to be here for her right now.” sirius sighs before realizing that remus is right and turns back to you.

“that’s awful, y/n. what a git.” james curses, shaking his head sympathetically. everyone nodded in agreement.

“are you okay?” sirius asks, the room falling silent. standing up from the couch, you finally meet his eyes, his familiar grey orbs bring a sense of comfort despite the tension between the two of you. you nod at him. “you were right.” you whispered. when he says nothing you continue, “he was bad news and i should’ve listened to you. could you gloat at a later time, though? not really in the mood.” your voice is shaky as more tears escape.

“and don't worry, i won't come crying to you.”

sirius lets out a sigh, “what if i come to you?”

you cautiously watch as sirius strides over to you, opening his arms and bringing you into his chest, nestling his face into your hair. you tense up for a moment before melting into him, wrapping your arms around him.

lily gestures for everyone to leave, nodding her head at the door. they all follow suit, quietly exiting the room to give you some privacy.

you start sobbing quietly as sirius holds you close. you feel his hand come up to stroke your head. “i’m sorry.” you snicker. sirius pulls back, enough so he can cup your face. “hey, you have nothing to be sorry for.” he assures you. you shake your head. “i do. i should've listened you and then we fought-”

“that was my fault.”

“but you were right about him.”

“i didn't want to be! everything i said was out of pure jealousy. if i knew what he was up to, trust me, i would have been a lot more persistent.”

“you were jealous?”

sirius looks down at you with a fond smile, “love, i'm jealous of anyone who holds your attention for more than a minute.”

your mouth slightly opens at his statement. sirius lets his words sink in. it’s a confession. of sorts. he so badly wants to scream how utterly in love he is with you, but he decides he’ll tell you tomorrow. with your favorite flowers, maybe some sweets from honeydukes. and definitely in a more romantic setting.

“just a heads up, me and the guys are definitely gonna make vincent and his foul little friends pay. i'm sure james already has some ideas.”

you let out a laugh, “no need, right now they're all covered in boils and throwing up slugs.” you tell him proudly. sirius gives you an amused look, “i've taught you well.”

-

some time later the both of you are on the couch, his arms around as your head rests on his chest. some of your housemates had come and gone, pausing as they saw the two of you entangled together.

sirius absentmindedly played with your hair as the two of you engaged in conversation about anything and everything. your tears had stopped long ago and now you could barely remember the entire vincent fiasco. now you feel at ease, at peace. in his arms.

“...you should've seen snape’s face. oh, it was priceless-” sirius pauses his story as he feels your breathing even out. when he looks down, he finds your eyes closed, your face cuddled into his chest. he couldn't help the smile that grew on his face as he watched you.

careful not to wake you up, he adjusts slightly on the couch so you can stretch out more comfortably, movement freezing when you stir. once he feels you settle once more, his hand comes up to stroke the top of your hair. you nuzzle more into his chest at the gesture and sirius hopes you don't feel the rapid beating of his heart.

he contemplates on waking you up, you probably would be more comfortable on your bed, but he selfishly decides against it, opting to hold you in his arms a little while longer.

a few moments pass and you're still sleeping soundly on sirius’ chest. he looks down to your face and heaves a sigh. the events from earlier are still at the back of his mind. the nerve of vincent richmond.

“you did not deserve that.” he whispers softly. “you are so fucking precious and you don’t realize, huh?” his thumb traces over your cheek, “you deserve the world and everything beyond,” he breathes into your hair. “and i will make it my life’s mission to give you just that.” he pressed a soft kiss to your head before stroking over your hair once more.

tomorrow. tomorrow he’ll tell you everything. how deeply he feels for you, how you make his heart swell with a simple smile, how he cannot bear the thought of you with someone else. tomorrow he’ll tell you everything he just said and he’ll make sure you're awake to actually hear him.

fortunately, you were always a light sleeper.

#sirius black x reader #sirius black #ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #sirius black x female reader #sirius black x you #sirius black fluff #sirius black angst #sirius black fic #sirius black fanfiction #the marauders #harry potter #maurauders era

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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: billy russo x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: karen and frank decide to set up their best friends. it doesn’t go the way they hoped it would.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: fluff, cursing

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.7k

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: TYSM FOR 100 FOLLOWERS THATS INSANE <333 this was sorta inspired by this scene from the rookie (the whole ep basically) hope u enjoyy

masterlist

“karen, you know i hate blind dates.”

“but it's not a stranger, though, it's billy. you know billy.”

for the past few weeks, your friend karen, has been trying to set you up dates, claiming you needed to get back out there. you appreciated the effort but at a certain point, you started to get slightly annoyed. you don’t blame her, her new found happiness with frank seemed to have given her some clarity. she's happy, so she wants you to be happy as well. and she was convinced that you and billy would be good together.

“billy russo?” you ask incredulously.. “i know he’s a little rough around the edges but once you get to know him, he's a nice guy.” karen pleaded his case. you narrow your eyes at her, “nice guy? let’s see, the first night we met at that bar, he spilled his beer all over me and then blamed me because apparently i didn't watch where i was going.”

“okay-”

“not done. he then proceeded to hit on me and when i didn't fall at his feet like every other girl, he ignored me for the rest of the night.”

karen sighed, more at billy’s actions. he is not making this easy. “i know you mean well, i just don’t think i wanna go on any dates right now.” you say to her when you see the dejected look on her face. karen almost gives up before giving it one last try, “one date.” she insisted. you shake your head, “karen-”

“just one date. go out with him once and if nothing comes from it, i'll leave you alone. no more set ups.” she bargains. her pleading eyes make you contemplate for a bit. if this will finally get you off her back, maybe you'll even have fun. “he’s agreed to this?” karen pauses before nodding. “yeah, he’s real excited.” a lie. she hasn't heard back from frank yet. “and he knows he’s going on a date with me?” her eyes widen, “does that mean you’ll go?” she asks excitedly.

taking a deep breath, you nod. “fine, i’ll go on the damn date. you owe me big time though, page. and i mean big time.”

karen begins to clap her hands together, a big grin on her face. “yes! yes, anything you want. i'm so excited!”

an underlying feeling of anxiety hit her as she hopes that frank had been successful in his efforts to convince billy to go on the date.

-

frank and karen set out on the same mission, getting their best friends together. after the two enjoyed a nice date, somehow the conversation landed on you and billy. soon after, the couple realized how well the two of you would fit together.

“bill, i’m telling you she’s a great girl.”

“i’m sure she is. but i don't wanna take a girl out who i never even met before.”

“but you have met her before. remember y/n?”

at the mention of your name, billy pauses. “karen’s friend?” he asks and frank nodded. “yeah, her.”

billy shrugs and walks over to his desk, leaning against it, glass of whiskey in his hand. “i think she hates me. why the sudden interest in my love life, frankie?”

“i mean, don’t you think it's time for you to settle down, man?” frank suggests to his friend. “ah, the whole ‘quality over quantity’ spiel. i told you, i’m good with my life the way it is.” billy smiles at his friend, shaking his head.

“come on, bill. one date wouldn’t hurt, right? she's a nice girl. plus i haven't see you with someone in a while. you give up or you keep striking out, huh?” frank teases, though that had been sitting on his mind as of late. billy would normally have a new girl on his arm every week, but it had been some time since he’s seen that happen. this led him to the assumption that maybe billy had finally taken his advice from years ago.

“i am doing just fine. just because you don't notice, doesn't mean that i’m not getting laid, frankie.” billy smirks while frank rolls his eyes, slightly disappointed that his assumptions had been wrong.

“but just give it a chance.” frank tries again and billy tilts his head at him, “why’re you so adamant on getting me with this girl?”

“honestly, i just think she’d be good for you and you for her.”

“i don't know, frank.”

he ponders for a moment before looking back to his friend. “i’ll do your paperwork for a week.” billy now stands at full attention. “a month.” he counters. frank chuckles and shakes his head. “two weeks.”

“a month.” billy holds his ground. frank sucks in a breath, closing his eyes in frustration. “fine.” he breathes out, “but you have to actually try, okay. no half-assing.” frank warns, a stern look on his face. billy rolls his eyes.

-

“and? what did he say?” karen asked enthusiastically. “he said he’ll do it.” frank answered and heard a sigh of relief on the other end of the phone. “yes! this could work out after all”

“y/n is on board too, right?” he added, karen hummed in confirmation, “took some convincing, but yeah she’s on board.” she said, “i’m so excited!” she exclaims and frank chuckles. “calm down, we don't know how the date’s gonna go. you know how bill can be. and y/n-”

“what about y/n?” karen asked warningly. frank paused, choosing his words carefully, “she’s… stubborn.” the words come out very hesitantly and at karen’s silence, frank starts to panic slightly until he hears her again. “yeah, she is, isn't she? i've been trying to set her up on dates with different guys for weeks and this is the first time she agreed.”

“really?”

“yeah. but you have a point, though. we don't know how the date will go..”

frank sighs as he realizes where this is going. “you wanna follow them, don't you?”

“i mean, we don't know if they're gonna take this seriously. how do we know they won't just bail?”

-

karen groans as she squints her eyes, not able to get a good view of you and billy. “those people are blocking our view!” she complains. the two were currently sitting in their car. in the parking lot of the restaurant where you and billy were having your date. “but they’re doing fine. look, they're talking.” frank points, slightly craning his neck to see better. karen perks up, “hold on.” she says and reaches into the backseat and grabs something from her bag. frank’s eyes widen as she pulls out a pair of binoculars.

“where the fuck did you get those?”

karen shrugs, aiming the device toward the restaurant where you and billy are seated. “okay, they're talking… oh, she’s smiling!” karen comments, a smile on her face. “okay, can we go now?” frank asks. “don't you want this to work out?”

“of course, i do. i just dont think stalking them from a parking lot is gonna help.”

“oh no!” karen exclaims suddenly, “someone sat down in front of them. i can't see them!”

“karen,” he warns, “they're gonna be fine. they're hitting it off, let's go home.” karen shakes her head. she doesn't know why she's so worried. she knows your horrible dating history and frank told her about billy’s dating history or lack thereof. but she's convinced the two of you would be perfect together.

“we’re going in.” she decides, reaching to the backseat once more to grab frank’s cap. “here. keep your head down.” she tells him as she’s getting out of the car. “karen-” the door shuts before frank can finish his objection. “this woman..” he sighs and reluctantly puts the cap on.

discreetly, they make their way into the restaurant, careful not to be caught by you. a waiter shows them to a free table in the corner of the room, which turned out to be the perfect vantage point. karen holds up the menu, blocking both her and frank’s faces. the pair watches as you and billy converse with one another, seemingly enjoying each other’s company.

both frank and karen are relieved at the revelation, a smile on their face as they witness the possible start of their best friend’s relationship. “are we the best matchmakers or what?” she whispers to her boyfriend. frank lightly chuckles and nods. he looks over to billy and sees a genuine smile on his face as he looked at you. frank’s never seen him like this before.

frank was startled out of his thoughts by karen hitting his arm. “something’s happening.” she tells him. frank looks over to you. you had a stern look on your face. uh oh. you're speaking through gritted teeth and frank sees your jaw clench. billy has an annoyed look on his face as he watched you angrily whisper things to him.

“bill, what'd you do?” frank mumbles to himself. frank and karen watch in shock as they see you stand up and gather your things. the couple had to swallow their gasp when you pick up the glass of water on the table and throw it in billy’s face and angrily storm off. they watch as billy roughly wipes his face with a napkin, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

moments later, karen receives a text from you:

didn't work out with russo. sorry.

a defeated sigh leaves her as her shoulders shag. frank puts a comforting hand on her back, making sure to keep his head down as he notices billy walk out of the restaurant. “it looked like it was going well. what happened?”

-

you were lazily tying a robe around your waist when you heard knocking on the door. you look over to the clock on your nightstand, wondering who would visit you this early. you run a hand through your messy hair as you make your way to the front door. looking through the peephole, your nerves settle as you recognize a familiar head of blonde. you open the door, karen and frank stand before you, soft smiles on their faces. “morning.” karen greets you.

“hey, guys. what are you doing here so early?” you ask, sleepily rubbing your eye. “we brought you coffee and bagels.” she says, handing them over to you. “and we also wanna apologize.” she added. you look up to her in confusion, taking a sip of your coffee. “you know, last night. i'm sorry your date with billy didn't go well.”

“oh-”

frank cuts you off. “yeah, bill’s my brother but he can be a real asshole sometimes.”

“ouch frankie.”

the couple gasps at the voice. they look past you to see billy standing behind you, hair still wet from the shower and towel wrapped around his waist. you sigh as you bow your head, chuckling to yourself. karen and frank both have identical confused looks on their face, brains going into overdrive as they try to make sense of the situation.

billy walks over to you, “is that coffee?” he asks and you reach behind you to pass the cup to him. he takes a sip, putting an arm over your shoulder, smiling at the couple in front of him.

“what the fuck?” karen finally manages. “but you- and then you said- i am so confused.” she breathes out. frank looks to billy, “mind explaining, bill?”

“yeah, what happened? i thought you said the date went badly.” karen asks you. you and billy turn to each other, sharing a smile. looking back to your friends, you sigh. “actually, billy and i have been dating for the past two and half months.”

“what!?”

-

“told you coming in separate cars was a good idea.”

billy looks over to see frank and karen in the parking lot, rolling his eyes at his friend. “i stand corrected. you look nice, by the way.”

hiding your relationship wasn't something you planned on doing, it started out something you wanted to keep private, seeing as this billy’s first real relationship, but all the sneaking around and secrecy made it that much more hotter for the two of you. so you decided to continue, it's not like you were gonna keep it from your friends forever.

“so what’d you get out of this?” he asked. “a favor. and considering karen and all her journalist connections, i figured it would come in very handy one day.” you smirked at him. “you?”

“got frankie to take over my paperwork.”

“nice.”

billy furrowed his eyebrows as he noticed something from the corner of his eye, he chuckled as he realized what it was. “they just walked in here.” he whispered to you. your eyes widen slightly, darting around but carefully as not to raise suspicion. you spot them sitting down at a table directly across from yours. you shake your head, “they can’t be serious.”

“wanna mess with them?”

you narrowed your eyes at him, “don't you think now is the perfect time to tell them?” billy shrugs, “we could. but i don't know about you but i’m quite annoyed that they decided to meddle in our love life.”

you tilt your head, “i guess, karen constantly trying to set me up was getting kinda irritating.” he nods at you encouragingly. “i particularly didn't like that. so let's teach them a lesson.”

“what’d you have in mind?”

“well, wouldn't it be a shame if this date was just terrible? their only successful attempt at getting us to go on a date and it just went to shit. and they're here to witness it.” the smirk on his face was nothing short of mischievous. you bite your lip to hide your growing smile. “you are a horrible influence, billy russo.” a flirty wink was his response.

“can i throw my drink in your face?” you ask, making gestures with your arms, an agitated look on your face as you put on a show for your friends, making sure you looked annoyed and angry. “no. wine stains are a bitch.” billy deadpanned. “come on.”

“no.”

“how about the water?”

“babe-”

“please?”

billy sighed as he looked down before nodding, “just watch the hair.”

-

“so you knew we were there last night?”

you and billy nodded. “so when exactly did you get together. i thought you hated him after he spilled his drink on you the night you met?” karen asked. “i did hate him, but a few months ago we ran into each other and he apologized. said he wanted to make amends”

“and you just forgave him?”

you scoffed, “fuck no, i made him grovel. who do you think i am?” frank let out a laugh. “billy russo groveling. amazing.” he mused.

“alright, alright.” billy stopped you before the teasing could go any further, “the point is i made it up to her. repeatedly.” he winked suggestively and you nudged him with your elbow.

a silence fell over you as frank and karen let all the information sink in. “still can't believe you two tricked us. for months!”

you and billy broke out in a laugh, “yeah we thought about telling after the first month-” billy started, “but then we realized it would be a lot more fun not to.” you finished for him. the couple stared at you in disbelief.

“you two are just…”

“perfect for each other.”

you smiled as billy moved to wrap his arms around you from behind, pressing a kiss to your cheek. you turned your head to give him a quick peck, making sure you nor billy deepens the kiss. your friends watch you with fond smiles, happy you two found each other after all, even without their help.

“well, we’ll leave you to it. but we are definitely having dinner soon. i want all the details.” karen demands. “maybe not all of them.” frank adds. “sounds like a plan. thanks for breakfast, by the way.” you told them.

“i assume you're not coming into work today, bill?” he then asks your boyfriend, who nods. “don't worry, though. i got someone covering my paperwork.” he says with a sly smirk, winking at his buddy. frank rolls his eyes. “conniving motherfuckers.” he mumbles under his breath. “careful, that’s my girl you’re talking about.” billy jokingly warns.

“hey, frank” he calls just as they were about to walk out. frank hums in question. “finally took your advice.” he smiles at his friend before lovingly looking down at you.

“about damn time.”

#billy russo x reader #billy russo #billy russo x female reader #billy russo x y/n #ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #the punisher #marvel #billy russo fic #billy russo fanfic

[paracsms]

hello !

welcome to my blog !

my name is alyssa, i’m 20, my pronouns are she/her

here is my masterlist

lets talk:

first off i wanna start by saying that i don’t write bc i think i’m good or bc i wanna pursue a career in writing. i simply write bc daydreaming wasn’t enough. hence my blog name:

A paracosm is a detailed imaginary world, or fantasy world, involving humans and/or animals, or perhaps even fantasy or alien creations.

these fics are my little paracosms and i hope that you’ll find some comfort in them as i have :)

[paracsms]

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: sirius black x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: when sirius finds himself with girl troubles, he enlists your help

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: fluff, bit of angst

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.8k

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: not really fond of this one but anyway enjoyy

masterlist

you were laughing as lily explained james potter’s latest attempt at wooing her. “i seriously don't know how he comes up with these ridiculous nicknames.” she exclaimed. “i don't think we want to know.” you countered, shuddering at the thought of seeing inside james potter’s mind. or any of the marauders’ minds. “you are absolutely right. ignorance is bliss.” lily agreed. “that it is, my friend.”

“i just don't get it. girls throw themselves at him all the time, yet he continues to pester me.” the red head sighs before taking a sip of her butterbeer. “have you ever thought that he might genuinely have feelings for you? so other girls simply don't interest him?” you narrowed your eyes at her and she averted your gaze. “still. you'd think by now he'd take a hint or at least give one of them a chance. i mean look at sirius.”

“what about me?”

your conversation is interrupted, said interruption sliding in the chair next to you. you and lily share a similar look of confusion as sirius black is now seated at your table. “so? what about me?” he speaks up again after a moment of silence. you shrug, “nothing. what do you want, 

sirius?”

you and sirius were.. friends. you got along well, much to your surprise and despite what lily insists, you do not have crush on him. 

“now, why would you assume i want something? it's hogsmeade weekend, can’t i sit with you girls and enjoy this fine day?” sirius exclaims, leaning back in the chair. you almost roll your eyes, “you can, but you haven't done so since just this moment so i ask again, what do you want, sirius?” he looks at you for a moment before conceding,

 “fine, so there’s this ravenclaw girl-”

he's cut off by unison groans from you and lily. “we are not gonna help you with your girl problems, black. go ask potter or remus.” lily’s voice is stern as she crosses her arms over her chest. “they can't help with this.” he whines, looking between the two of you. “why not?” 

“this girl is… persistent. she’s not taking no for an answer and i need to get her off my back.” he explains, his voice is frantic, the desperation sinking through. you sighed, “and how are we supposed to help with that?” 

“well not so much you and lily as much as just you.” he says hesitantly, looking at you with pleading eyes. your head tilts in confusion, “why just me?”

“because james likes lily.”

“what does that have to do with anything?”

before he could answer you, a figure enters the three broomsticks and sirius softly gaps, eyes widening in panic. “oh no, oh no.” sirius mutters, you and lily are now even more confused than before. you turn to him, “sirius what are you on-” the hand around your shoulder shuts you up. “i'm sorry, please just play along for a minute.” he whispers to you as he pulls you closer. “what-”

“sirius!” you see a girl approaching your table, her smile gradually fading as she gets closer, noticing sirius’ arm around you. “sirius, hey. i've been looking for you.” she greets him, ignoring both you and lily. “well, you found me. though, i am a bit busy. my girl can't get enough of me. not that i'm complaining.” sirius smirks and gestures to you, placing a kiss on your cheek. you freeze, too stunned to speak. you see lily fighting off a laugh, hand coming up to cover her mouth, hiding her smile.

the girl’s face drops, shoulders sagging as she looks between you and sirius. “oh. well, whenever you're free, let me know. i’d love to get to know you better.” her voice falters, doing her best to put on a smile. she straightens her shoulders and promptly exits the pub. once she's out of sight, you slap sirius’ hand off your shoulder, “what in merlin’s name was that?” you raise your voice at him, lily finally letting out the laugh she’d been holding in.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry. i panicked.” sirius puts his hands up in surrender, an apologetic look in his eyes. “that was you panicking?”

“that was i wanted to ask you before. i wanted to know if you were willing to pretend to date me, just until she's out of my hair.”

your mouth hangs open at his request, you start shaking your head no. sirius takes a deep breath, closing his eyes almost as in preparation for what he's about to say. “i didn't want it to come to this but… you owe me.” 

“i owe you?” you questioned and he nods. you're about to ask him what he's on about but he beats you to it. “transfiguration, fifth year.” your eyes widen as you gasp. 

you were absolute shite at transfiguration and with owls coming up, you were getting nervous. it wasn't your proudest moment, but you had practically begged sirius to help you. he agreed, thankfully. the two of you spent many late nights in the library, going over the material and eventually you got the hang of it, passing your exams with flying colors. you were extremely grateful for sirius’ help but you had felt bad about taking up so much of his time. he told you it was okay but you insisted that you ‘owe him one’. 

you let out sigh, “fine.” you agree half heartedly.

“thank you! you are heaven sent, did you know?”

 “what happened with transfiguration fifth year?” lily inquired, her interest now piqued. “he helped me with something so now i owe him a a favor.” your explanation was vague so lily made a mental note to interrogate you about it later.

“don't you think that the little stunt you pulled earlier was enough to send her packing?”

sirius starts shaking his head no, “absolutely not. you heard her “whenever you're free”. i called you my girl and she still persisted.”

“so what now?”

“nothing too extreme. we just have to be more affectionate from now on, at least when she’s around.”

“you mean like kiss?” sirius smiles at your question. “if it comes to that. but we don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with.” 

you sigh as you face away from him, meeting lily’s eyes. a huge grin graces her face as she takes a sip from her butterbeer. “i think it's a great plan.” she says and your eyes narrow at her. “oh, i'm sure you do. how long do we have to keep it up?” you ask sirius, eyes still glaring at lily. he shrugs, “a week, maybe a couple. if she doesn't get the hint by then-”

“a couple of weeks?” you turn to look at a grinning sirius. this was going to be… interesting.

-

in the following weeks you and sirius fell into a routine of hand holding and lingering touches.  the girl, who you'd come to know as vivian morgan, was a year below you and sirius. meaning no classes together where you'd inevitably have to sit next to sirius. (and risk him distracting you. he's proved to be very skilled at that.) your charade would only have to be kept up in the great hall and occasionally throughout the castle if she was nearby.

you'd found it rather peculiar how effortless it was for sirius to pretend the two of you were a couple. although it didn't take long for you to get used to it as well. it felt natural and easy, a little too much. the way his hand found yours, the way he put his arm on your lower back as he guided you to your desired destination, the way the conversation between the two of you flowed so casually. it felt too natural, it felt real. 

you made a habit out of reading in the courtyard during your free period, today was no different. too engrossed in your book, you don’t notice when sirius sits down next to you. a hand around your shoulder startles you out of your trance. “sirius.” 

“hello, love.”

you ignore him and the tingling sensation from where his hand rests over your clothes, continuing with your reading. you feel sirius shuffle closer to you and rest his head on your shoulder to peer into the book in your hands. “oh, you're studying.” he notes when he sees that you're holding a potions textbook. suddenly his head shoots up from your shoulder, you turn to him in surprise. sirius digs into his pocket and pulls out a packet. “then you need this.” he holds up a packet of chewing gum. your eyebrows raise in question. sirius chuckles at your confusion, “doesn’t gum help you focus when you're studying?”

“how did you know that?”

“well, i was your tutor all throughout last year. bound to pick up some things.” you nod at him, bottom lip tucked between your teeth.not knowing what to say, you turn back to your textbook.

it was unsettling how well he knew you, noticing your little habits, some of which you weren't even aware of. 

“something wrong?” sirius asks suddenly. you look back to him, “why would you ask that?”

“you're doing that thing where you bite your lower lip when something’s wrong or something’s bothering you.”

your eyes slightly widen at his assessment, unable to find the words to respond. “you do it quite often actually, makes me worry.” he adds. “you're… observant.” you finally manage. “when i want to be. so what’s on your mind?”

you shake your head, “nothing.” sirius doesn't buy it. “come on, tell me!” he nudges you with his elbow. “really, it’s nothing-” he suddenly moves closer, hand coming up to rest on your cheek as he slowly turns your face, making you meet his eyes. his fingers move to tuck your hair behind your ear. your faces are inches away from each other. your breath hitches as he stares deeply into your eyes. “what are you doing?” you whisper.

his eyes flicker down to your lips before moving back up to your eyes. he leans in, but you freeze, unsure of his intentions. is he gonna kiss you? you hadn't done that before. there's a part of you that’s scared. but you're not sure if it’s fear of the kiss itself or fear that maybe you might enjoy it. before you can decide, sirius mutters something. 

“vivian’s heading this way.”

your mood instantly deflates and you break eye contact, which seemed a lot more difficult earlier. “okay, she's gone. that was close.” he breathed, letting go of your face as he moved back, putting some space between the two of you. 

you try to fight it, desperately pushing away that feeling of disappointment, but it makes its way through, filling you with frustration. none of this is real. you have to remind yourself of that quite often as of late. 

-

you're not sure how much longer you can take this. this ruse of yours seemed to be taking an emotional toll on you. you find yourself wanting to be closer to sirius, but then you're reminded of the real reason any of this is happening. and that's the only reason he’s being so affectionate, the only reason he touches you. and why that upset you had been bugging you for a while, until recently. you denied it as much as you could, it was just the circumstance, is what you told yourself. but as the days went by it was much harder to convince yourself of that. so much to your dismay, you finally accepted it. 

you had feelings for sirius black. 

but now it's all too complicated. you fear that any more of sirius’ fake affections would cause you to expose your true feelings. feelings which you were sure sirius did not reciprocate, he's just a really good actor. for the sake of your heart, you decide to put an end to this charade. it had been long enough. if vivian morgan hasn't come to her senses then that’s not your problem.

you find him in the great hall. taking a deep breath, remembering this is for the best. as you walk closer you notice sirius making his way over to the ravenclaw table. you raise your eyebrows in question when you see him taking a seat next to vivian. your heart drops as you see him lean closer to her. you force yourself to look away, storming out of the great hall as fast as your feet could carry you.

sirius finds you in the common room. you had a book in your hand, biting your lip, but it didn't seem like you were reading. “hey, the others said they saw you, but you left rather quickly.” you barely reacted to his voice. when you didn't answer, sirius walks over to you, sitting in front of you. “are you feeling alright?” still no answer. “y/n-”

“i saw you with her.” you cut him off, not meeting his eyes.

 “who? vivian? i was-” 

you interrupt him again, “what was the point of all this, sirius?” 

sirius is confused. “the point of what?” he asks. “this.” you gesture between the two of you. “you ask me to help get vivian off your back and after weeks of pretending, you decide to pursue her anyway. then why have we been doing what we've been doing?” you exasperate, finally looking up at him. “pursue? what are you on about, love.” he’s truly at a loss, wondering what caused your mood to change so suddenly. “sirius-”

“if you had a problem with this, you should've told me. i never wanted you to be uncomfortable.”

“i wasn't uncomfortable. that's the problem.” you mutter the last part, hoping he hadn't heard it. “what does that mean?” sirius tilts his head in question. “nothing.” you quickly say, moving to stand up from the couch. 

“no, stop saying it's nothing and actually talk to me!” sirius exclaims, making you jump. when he sees your wide eyes, he offers you an apologetic look. you stare at him for a moment before shaking your head. as you walk past him you hear him sigh, you don't make it very far when you feel a hand curl around your arm and pull you back. you gasp as sirius’ hands reach up to cup your face. before you can say anything, sirius crashes his lips into yours. 

it's alarming how easily you fall into it, deepening the kiss as your arms go around his neck, pulling him closer. his lips are soft, inviting and feel so good against yours. it takes everything in you to pull away from him. you let out a breath and sirius rests his forehead against yours. “sirius-”

“i wasn't flirting with her. or pursuing her.” you're both still trying to catch your breath. “then what-”

“i was telling her off. once and for all.” a smirk graces his face. “why?” you can still feel him on your lips, like he’s stained you. “so we could stop pretending,” he leans down, lips ghosting over your mouth. “and we could do this for real.”

your breath hitches, “do what?”

 a wide grin stretches across his face as he pulls you in once more. “this.” he whispers huskily and kisses you. you're thankful he’s holding you or you surely would be falling to your knees. it feels as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders and you can't help but smile against him.

he breaks the kiss after a few moments. “you do feel the same, right? i mean, lily told me you might but-”

you cut him off with a laugh. “what are you laughing for?” he asks incredulously. “sirius, i am crazy about you. i thought it was you who didn't reciprocate.”

“why didn't you say anything before?”

“why didn't you?

“i tried!”

“when?”

sirius thinks for a moment, “remember that day in the courtyard?” you nod. “well, vivian wasn't actually heading our way. I couldn't help myself! i wanted to kiss you but chickened out at the last moment.” 

you gasp, “sirius!” he chuckles at you, “and there may have also been a few times where she wasn't even around but i wanted to hold your hand so i told you she was.”

when you’re silent, sirius fears he might’ve upset you. an apology sits on the tip of his tongue when he hears you giggle. “you are unbelievable. all this time. is that why asked me to be your pretend girlfriend?”

he nods shyly, “partially. it started off as just pretend, should've known i’d fall for you. but i really did want vivian to leave me alone, though.” 

“so what'd you tell her earlier then?”

“i told her that my heart belongs to you. and only you.”

“oh really?” you muse, arms going back around his neck, hands interlocked behind his head. he smirks, “yours to do with as you please.”  he hums.

“then i guess it's only fair that mine is yours as well.” you touch your forehead to his. “what a high honor you've bestowed upon me, my darling.” 

#sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius black x you #sirius black x female reader #sirius black fluff #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes #harry potter #marauders #the marauders #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fic

[paracsms]

A Blind Date

Part of the Trials & Tribulations AU

[paracsms]

woah just hit 50 followers thats crazy,, thank you <333

[paracsms]

𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐡

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: billy russo x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: after a harrowing encounter leads you to take drastic measures, billy is there to help you through it

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: blood, violence, mentions of assault (please read at your own risk)

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.1k

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: this one’s been sitting in a google doc for a while enjoyy

masterlist

ringing. that's all you could hear, a high pitched buzzing and it’s loud. your head is pounding, your breathing heavy. everything is blurry, foggy. you squint your eyes in an attempt to clear your vision. you don't know what’s happening. somehow you manage to take a step backwards and your back is met with a brick wall. it was cold, you could gather from your trembling hands. the ringing in your ears seemed to be getting louder, stronger.

then it stopped.

and with that you came to, not fully, but enough to realize your ringtone was playing. your hands went to your pockets, only to find them empty. that was weird, your phone was always in your pocket. your phone is still ringing, so where was it? your vision clears a bit and you start to look around. it's on the ground. what is your phone doing on the ground. you bend down to grab it when you feel a sharp pain in your side. you hiss as you grab your phone. you see a name on the screen.

billy. you know billy. your head starts to feel clearer. you tap the screen and notice a wet mark where you had just lifted your finger. your hands are wet? but it's not raining and it's too cold for you to be sweating. it's dark so you go to examine the phone more closely, your eyebrows furrow. it's red, it's blood. your breathing gets heavier as you take in your surroundings. you take a step forward and feel yourself step into a puddle of something. even more confused, you look down. your eyes follow the wet trail, your heart drops when you find its source. 

a body lay before you, face up, a knife lay next to it. your hand comes up to your mouth to silence your gasp. tears start rolling down your face as you begin to sob quietly. you jerk as your phone starts ringing again. billy. when you're struggling to hit the answer button, you realize your hands are covered in blood as well. the dark substance is being smeared all over your screen. 

the call goes through before you get a chance to compose yourself. though you knew it would not have made a difference. billy could see right through you, he didn't even have to physically see you. you hear his voice come through. 

“babe, where the hell are you? i've been calling you for the past hour-”

he's cut off by a sob. and that was it. billy went from irritated at your lack of response to concern for your wellbeing. “y/n? are you okay? where are you? can you hear me, baby? i'm here, okay. i need you to tell me what's wrong.” his tone is a bit softer now, laced with worry.

“b-billy?” you whisper, not trusting your voice. “yeah i'm right here.” he assures, his heart breaking at the sound of your voice. he's starting to panic, but he keeps his voice steady. “billy,” you say again. “where are you, sweetheart? i need you to tell me, okay?” it's weird how his voice instantly comforts you. you take a deep breath before speaking, “there’s so much blood.”

billy’s face hardens almost immediately. his fist squeezed at his side and his teeth clench. he reaches for his laptop and starts to track your location. thank god micro taught him how to do that. “okay sweetheart, i'm coming to get you, okay? but i need to know if you're okay, though. are you hurt anywhere?”

“my side hurts a bit, my head too.” 

“okay. anywhere else?”

“i- uh, i don't know. billy, i'm so scared. he’s dead. there's so much blood.” you're starting to ramble. “hey, baby it's okay. i'm coming to get you. everything will be alright.” he tries to calm you down. he doesn't ask who’s dead, knowing it won't help soothe you in the moment. his laptop dings, having found your location. billy frowns when he realizes you're right by his apartment building. he immediately grabs his gun and starts to make his way to you. he almost sprints through the building. he takes the stairs, he has no patience for the elevator and this can't wait. while he's running, he's making sure to keep you talking.

“i'm on my way now, i'll be there soon. i need you to stay on the line with me, okay?”

“okay.”

“almost there, babe.”

you hear loud footsteps approaching and your eyes widen in panic. you turn to your phone to notify billy, but then you hear your name being called. 

“y/n?”

billy has his gun raised, walking carefully as he searches for you. “y/n?” he turns into the alleyway and freezes at the sight of you, holding your phone to your ear with a trembling hand, shaking from the cold. he tucks his gun in his pants before reaching for you. “sweetheart.” his voice is soft. you turn to him and billy almost crumbles when he sees your tear stained face. there was a cut just above your eyebrow and one your lip. “billy?”

carefully, his hands come up to your face. he gently wipes the running tear from your eye. he cups your face in his hands, his thumb tracing lightly over your cut lip. you hiss in pain. “I'm sorry, baby. you're okay now. i'm here.” he tells you before carefully bringing your head into his chest. he wraps his arms around you, pressing a kiss into your hair. billy’s hold is comforting, his scent is calming, it breaks you. suddenly you're sobbing uncontrollably into his chest, hands fisting into his fitted sweater. 

billy almost breaks down with you. “it's okay, you're okay now.” he whispers to you as he caresses your hair. he feels your sobbing stop and you slowly pull away, billy cups your face once more, pecking your forehead softly. then he turns around to inspect the scene. a dead man lay at his feet, blood pooling around him. he turns back to you. “did he try to hurt you, baby?” he asks softly. you look away, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, trying to remember what happened. billy watches as you slowly nod. his teeth clench as he takes a sharp breath. “well, he can't hurt you anymore, alright?” you nod.

“i'm gonna make a quick call.” billy sees how your head shoots up and feels your grip on him tighten.

“i'm not going anywhere. i'll be right here.” 

you see billy grab his phone and dial a number. you look over his shoulder to the lifeless body on the ground. his eyes are still open, haunting. you start to feel uneasy but can't bring yourself to look away. billy’s voice brings you back. the exhaustion comes over you now and you bury your head back into his chest, sighing. billy holds you there, whispering sweet nothings into your ear. 

you're not sure how long it's been, but suddenly you hear a car pull up and tense up in billy’s arm. “it's just frank, honey. it's alright.” he reassures. you look up to see frank making his way towards the two of you. “bill.” he calls out and billy nods to the dead guy in a pool of his own blood. frank looks at the body, confusion fills him as he looks back at his best friend. his eyes fall on you and his gaze softens. “you okay, kid?” you nod at him. 

“bill, why don't you take her upstairs.” “but-”

“i'll take care of this. go.”

billy sighs before putting his hand on your lower back. “come on, sweetheart. let's go home.” he says, guiding you out of that damned alley, muttering a soft  ‘thanks’ to drank. his hands don’t leave you for a moment until you're in the safety of his apartment. he guides you through the door and into his bathroom. carefully, he takes off your coat and makes you sit down on the closed toilet seat before he starts rummaging through his cabinets fro his first aid kit “where the fuck is it?” he mutters to himself. when he finally locates it, he grabs it and turns back to you. 

you're staring down at your lap, your hands are rubbing together, trying to get the blood off of them. billy sighs at the sight of you, so exhausted, his heart clenches. ever since he met you, you've been so full of light, to see you like this. it was… unnerving. he didn't like it. he quickly grabs a towel and runs under hot water before kneeling down to you. “hey, sweetheart. i’m gonna clean you up now, okay?”

“okay.”

he starts with your face, cleaning off the dried blood that seeped down from your wound. you hiss softly and billy gives you an apologetic look. 

“i know, baby. just a little bit more.”

he moves down to your hands, cleaning the blood as best he could with a wet towel. when he's done, he sets the now blood stained towel aside and grabs the first aid kit. “okay, i have to clean your cuts now so it's gonna sting a little bit, but i promise i'm gonna be really gentle, okay?”

you sniffle as you nod to him, still looking down at your hands, thankful that they were somewhat clean now. billy gets out some cotton and douses it in disinfectant.

“i need you to hold still for me, sweetheart. here, squeeze my hand.”

you almost pull away when billy puts the cotton to your wound. he does it quickly but gently and you squeeze his fingers a little tighter. “there. just your lip now.” he moves down to your mouth and disinfects it as well. 

“all done. fortunately, your cuts aren't too deep, so you don't need stitches, but i am gonna bandage it.” he informs you. “okay.” you answer, sighing. billy leans forward to press a kiss to your cheek. “you're doing so good, sweets.” he whispers before pulling away and reaching back into the kit to pull out some bandages. while he's doing that, he speaks up. “you don't have to tell me right now if you don't want to, but i do need to know what happened, baby.” he says quietly and you nod. clearing your throat, you meet his eyes. 

“i- i was, uhm. i wa-”

“take your time”

“i was about to come up, then you called then i reached for my pocket and then a hand came over my mouth.” you could feel your heart beating faster as you recalled what happened. billy places a comforting hand on your back, moving it up and down. “deep breaths, that's it. you don't have to tell me now.” you shook your head, breathing deeply like he said before speaking again. “he pulled me into the alley and pushed me against the wall. i tried to scream but his hand was over my mouth. i was struggling against him so i think he smashed my head against the wall.” billy’s hand ghosts over the wound before placing the bandage on the cut.

“he- uh. he turned me around. his hand was still over mouth so i bit him. he didn't like that. he punched me. then he, he started- t-touching me.” billy’s jaw clenched. if that motherfucker wasn't already dead, billy’d make him regret being born. you grabbed his closed fist when you notice him tense up. billy softens, even in this state, you're still trying to comfort him. he entwines your hands with his and gives you a squeeze to continue. 

“i tried pushing him away but then punched me in the side and pulled a knife out, held it against my throat. but then i did that one move you taught me.” you say with a bit of pride, grateful billy had given you self defense classes, even more grateful you remembered them. “atta girl.” he smiles at you. 

“yeah, i got the knife out of his hands and kicked him in the nuts. then i took the knife and i stabbed him. i don't know how many times. a lot i think. i think i blacked out. but yeah then you called.” you explained to him. billy nods at you.

 “you did so good, baby.”

“i killed him.”

“good. you were defending yourself, that's nothing to feel bad about. you survived, you're okay and that scumbag can't hurt you or anyone else anymore. i am so proud of you.”

a tear rolls down your cheek and billy is quick to wipe it away. “so proud of you.” he repeats and pulls you to his chest. first kills are never easy and billy never wanted you to experience that. he wanted to protect you from everything bad, because you deserve everything good in this world. 

“i’m gonna run you a bath, how does that sound?”

“will you join?”

“you want me to?”

“yes please.”

“okay, sweetheart.” he smiles before getting the bath ready. when he's finished, he helps you stand up, steadying you. “hands up.” he instructs so he can take off your dress. you do as he says and he pulls the fabric over your head. his eyes land on the bruise forming on your side. it's not too big but it would take some time to heal. he guides you to the edge of the bath, holding onto one hand so you can steady yourself as you step into the water. 

when you're fully submerged, billy sheds his clothes and steps in as well, slotting himself behind you. you lean back, between his legs and rest your head on his chest. billy just holds you, careful with the bruise on your side. his hands run up and down your arms, you almost fall asleep at the tranquility. you're not sure how much time has passed when you hear billy speak up again.

“i'm sorry, baby.”

“for what?”

“all of this. i'm sorry you're going through this. i'm sorry i couldn't stop it, that i couldn't protect you.” he whispers, tone full of disappointment. “no, billy. this isn't your fault. this isn’t on you. there's no way you could’ve known this would happen.” you assured him, turning your head so you're facing him. “it’s new york, shit like this happens.” you added. 

“but it shouldn't.”

“i know.”

“and it shouldn't have happened to you. i should've been there. i should've picked you up, instead of you coming over.” billy sighs. “that was my idea.” you reminded him, head tilting. “still. i should've picked you up.” he persists, convinced he could have prevented this, could’ve protected you. “well, i can't help that you’re whipped for me and listen to everything i say.” you tease, a genuine smile graces your face and billy feels like he can finally breathe again. 

“you’re feeling better, i see.”

“you were pouting so..”

“i was not pouting!”

“whatever you say, russo. but, if this didn't happen to me, it would've happened to someone else and they wouldn't be lucky enough to have you as their hot and sexy personal self defense trainer to teach them how to brutally stab their assailant.” billy chuckles at your remark, relieved that you feel well enough to make jokes. billy grabs the shampoo and squirts some in his hand before starting to wash your hair. “i taught you how to disarm someone, that brutally stab thing was all you, sweets. who knew you had it in you?” his voice is soft as he runs his fingers through your hair. 

“certainly wasn't how i wanted find out.” you sigh, reveling in billy’s touch. “i know. but maybe this could light a fire under our ass.” you're confused at his suggestion, “how so?”

“i'm definitely gonna make you train more now. maybe you can start carrying a weapon-”

“ooh, can i have your ka-bar?”

billy lets out a laugh, “you did always prefer knives to guns.” he recalls and you hum in agreement. you did not like guns. guns were too… loud. “so can i?” you repeat. “we’ll see.” it's quiet for a moment before billy speaks again, “also,” he trails off, you can tell he's hesitant about what he's gonna say next. “what?” you encourage. “we have been talking about you moving in here..”

“billy-”

“i don't wanna pressure you, especially after tonight. but, jesus christ, when you picked up that phone call and i heard you cry, i was- and then you said there was blood..” he cuts himself off to take a breath, to calm himself. “not knowing where you were, or if you were okay… y/n, i've been through hell. kandahar and then everything with rawlins, and i handled that shit, i got through it, but losing you?” his hand goes to grip the edge of the tub as if to steady himself. “i can’t handle that.” you're not certain but you can almost hear a crack in his voice. you can feel tears threatening to spill from your eyes as you cup his face in your hands. 

“i don't want us moving in together to seem like i wanna monitor you 24/7. i just need as much time with you as i can get, cause if i lose you-”

“you're not gonna lose me.” you finally speak up. your voice is stern despite your damp eyes. “not in this lifetime.” you add, smiling at the way he leaned into your touch. “and yes.”

“yes what?”

“yes, i’ll move in with you.”

“really?” his mood instantly lifts, making you giggle. “i mean, i basically already live here. most of my clothes are here. the doorman knows me by name. i've sorta been your roommate for quite some time now, russo.”

billy's grin grew wide as the words left your mouth, tugging you into his embrace before pressing his lips to yours. you moan slightly out of pain when you feel the pressure of his mouth on your bruised lip. billy quickly pulls away, muttering an apology before chuckling lightly. “damn, i gotta be careful now.” he reminds himself, forehead pressed against yours. “only for a little while.” you smile, leaning back in, billy opting for a gentler kiss this time.

if tonight brought anything to light, it was that you were not to be messed with. and that you were the most precious thing in billy’s life. in that moment, billy took a vow to never let you get hurt again. he would do anything to ensure your safety, and if he had to burn down the world to do so, he would. if he had to kill every last being on this earth just so you could sleep soundly, he would. with no hesitation. and with no regrets.

#billy russo x reader #billy russo #billy russo x y/n #billy russo x female reader #ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #the punisher #marvel #billy russo fanfic #billy russo fic

[paracsms]

Klimt-inspired

[paracsms]

Selina Kyle stole my heart

[paracsms]

Fluffy Billy Russo has a husband! Continuing on with the big shot lawyer anon, imagine Billy bringing dinner and your guys children when you been working non-stop on a case and lost track of time, for fluffy Friday

blurb one

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The keys in the door click, the door being opened. A chorus of shouting and groans from Billy when your two kids tackle him with hugs bring a smile to your face. 

You shut the laptop and get up, stretching before you walk to the kitchen. Your daughter is in Billy’s arms while your son has koala clung himself onto Billy’s laugh. “Hi beautiful,” he sets the bag in his hand down on the counter before leaning to give you a kiss. 

“Hi honey, how was work?” you ask, bending to unwrap your son from Billy’s leg

“Tiring but you don't wanna hear about that. How's the case going ?” he puts the little girl down to join her brother, the two of them running off into the hallway. You wrap your arms around your husband, dropping your head against his chest. 

“God, I’m exhausted. After prepping for this case, I feel like I’m gonna need a 2 week vacation after.”  you groan, Billy chuckles and rubs your back softly. 

“I can make that happen you know.” “And what about the kids?” 

“We’ll leave them with Frank and Karen, it’ll be good practice for them.” you shake your head at your husband’s suggestion. You sigh, leaning into him. 

“Let’s eat and I'll put them to bed after.” Billy’s hands cup your face. “You’re gonna take a break and go take a bath, try and relax okay?” he kissed your forehead. 

[paracsms]

kinda in love with my new one aAHH

i actually hate my masterlist banner might change it soon idk

[paracsms]

i actually hate my masterlist banner might change it soon idk