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parkerpeter24 · 3 months
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#<3
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parkerpeter24 · 3 months
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one of the most important things i’ve learned in therapy is that when you’ve experienced prolonged trauma in your childhood, pleasure feels uncomfortable. like, not that you don’t feel it, but that when you do feel it there’s an impulse to make it stop, because it’s extremely unfamiliar. and pleasure can mean many things, as simple as feeling cozy, and as complex as feeling loved. the neural pathways for feeling good have not had a chance to develop, and the neural pathways for feeling bad are quite practiced. feeling good, too, takes conscious practice.
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parkerpeter24 · 3 months
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parkerpeter24 · 3 months
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parkerpeter24 · 3 months
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parkerpeter24 · 3 months
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All 13 full moons of 2023
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parkerpeter24 · 3 months
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Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker The Amazing Spider-Man 2012 | dir. Marc Webb
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parkerpeter24 · 3 months
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Posting some old TASM doodles since it’s Andrew Garfield’s birthday :) he’ll always be my favorite Peter
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parkerpeter24 · 3 months
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ANDREW GARFIELD
attends "The Amazing Spider-Man" premiere at Callao Cinema on June 21, 2012 in Madrid, Spain.
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parkerpeter24 · 3 months
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parkerpeter24 · 3 months
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SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME: in conversation with TOM HOLLAND, TOBEY MAGUIRE, and ANDREW GARFIELD
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parkerpeter24 · 4 months
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ADDIE IM CRYING SJSKSKS 😭😭😭😭
be alright
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i’m sorry i really had my exams 😭 and i couldn’t write in december, but soon i am hoping to post winter blurbs
pairing ➳ tasm!peter x reader.
warnings: heavy angst. like forced kissing and a bit of grabbing.
masterlist
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“it’s like you’re never here.” your voice came out shaky. it felt like the cold outside had gotten to you even through the closed window of your room and the radiator going in the room didn’t make you feel warm anymore.
december always felt like a lonely month to you, with your exams approaching and having no plans for christmas or the new year. it always felt unfair that your family got to enjoy while you stressed about your exams. but when you met peter, a little voice inside you told you that this year would be different.
you’d been dating for ten months now and it felt so natural with peter. he was always there for you, always holding your hand, always looking out for anything you needed, always helping you with your homework and your studies, always bringing you coffee.
until he wasn’t.
it stopped by the last of november. maybe it was the stress of all his college projects or maybe he was busy taking pictures to submit in hopes of finding a new job. you told yourself everything was fine for a month but now it wasn’t water under the bridge anymore. now all the avoided calls and the lack of his ‘good morning, beautiful’s had gotten to you.
so, in your state of desperation, you went to the only reliable source to reach peter. his aunt, may.
and it had worked.
when you looked up from your study and found your spandex clad boyfriend knocking at your window, you got up quickly and ran to open it. a little spark igniting in your chest and the voice told you that everything will be okay, finally.
peter climbed in and took off his mask, “you complained about me to may?” were his immediate words. his voice was no sort of sweet like you had expected and wished it to be, “what am i, a child?”
your mouth opened and closed, then opened again and then it closed. peter gave you a look of exasperation, making you frown. you watched him run a hand over his face as he shivered a little, the mix of cold from outside and the heat in your room getting to him.
the room felt eerily silent for a few seconds.
“i didn’t know how else to reach you.” you mumbled.
“just text me.” he sighed and turned to face you as you walked towards your desk, closing your notebooks, placing your pen on the last page you were writing on.
“i texted you hundreds of times!” your voice sounded rushed, “you never answer!”
“don’t you think that means i’m busy?” peter argued. you felt guilt rise and clench your heart in your chest. he sighed, “i was going to text you, but i was busy.”
“it’s like you’re never here.”
and that’s how the fight started. it felt like a fight. it felt like peter was throwing harsh words and pushing you away. you knew his tendency to do so when he thought he was doing something wrong. he knew he didn’t give you enough time and it got to him, and he took it out on no one other than yourself.
“that’s because i’m out there trying to save people.” he pointed a hand towards the window and you gulped, “i’ve got a lot on my plate.”
“so do i, peter.” you pleaded, your voice shrill, “i wish i wasn’t missing you so much but i do. i feel selfish for missing my own boyfriend, how’s that fair?!”
“i’m not trying to make you feel like that, you have to understand my responsibility towards the city-”
“yes, you have great responsibility! i know.” you gulped, watching his face harden. he looked colder, nothing like your peter. you tried again, “i know what you feel about the city… but don’t you think you’re overdoing it?”
he blinked, “overdoing it?”
“peter, you have a life outside spider-man.” you tried to reason with him, taking a step towards him. his brown locks looked so soft and you wished you could run your fingers through them.
“and you want that life to revolve around you.” he rolled his eyes, speaking matter of factly. his words may have been spoken in the heat of the moment, to you it felt well-thought. it felt like peter was slowly twisting the knife that had pierced through your heart.
“i didn’t say that.” you mumbled, feeling your eyes brim with tears. he avoided looking at your face. he knew that if he looked into your eyes, he would break. he would fall down to his knees and cry his heart out. and he couldn’t afford to do that right now.
“it felt like you wanted to.”
to you, it felt like both of you were trying to blame the other for everything that felt wrong. you wanted to throw your thickest history book at him but you also wanted to hold onto him and cry until all the stress you felt vanished away. you wanted to pull at your hair in frustration but you also wanted his soft hands running through your hair, comforting you.
but it was hard to realise the good things when you hadn’t seen the person you care most about in a month and he was not even trying to be civil. so you pushed those thoughts aside and retaliated.
“there was a time before spider-man.”
peter’s eyes snapped towards your face, cold and venomous, “what?”
“there was a time. when there was no spider-man. and the city was carrying on just fine!” your vision was blurred, jaw clenched as you finished, breathing harshly. your nails dug into the palm of your hands as you clenched your fists.
peter stood there, looking at you unbelievably. he was almost shaking from how tense his whole body was. you gulped, almost opening your mouth in an apology but before you could, peter’s voice reached your ears, hoarse and deep, “you said you missed me?”
you took a step back, intimidated by the way he was looking down at you. peter was taller than you but it had always been an intimate thing between the two of you. you liked being the ‘big’ spoon and he liked teasing you about it. but in this moment, it felt like he was a predator, staring down at his pray.
“pete-” you thought you could reason with him about this whole argument. about how stupid it was but he was taking fast steps to fill the distance between the two of you until you felt his breath of your face, “p-peter…”
“well, here i am.” he said, instantly grabbing the back of your neck, making you gasp as he pressed his lips harshly against yours. your hand instinctively flew to the back of his head as his lips mingled with yours. it didn’t start like the other times, it wasn’t sweet. it was rushed, and messy. your salty tears mixed into the kiss and peter’s hand in your hair tightened, pulling at it. you whimpered, but he didn’t stop. his other hand traveled to your hip, squeezing it with force, holding you against him.
you knew it was going to bruise badly in a few hours. he had trapped you between the desk and himself and even though it felt like he was violating all your space, you kissed him back, you tried to hold on to him. tried to calm him down but it didn’t feel like he was in charge of himself anymore.
you tried to push at his chest but you knew it was not gonna help. he was way too stronger against your normal human strength. you felt peter bite at your lip and you gasped at his harsh behaviour, feeling the copper taste fill your mouth when his tongue pushed past your lips. your fist collided with his chest once, trying to make him stop as more tears slid down your face.
you felt yourself sob when peter finally pulled back, but only to pull your hair, prompting your head to tilt backwards. his lips trailed over your neck, down to your collarbone.
“peter, stop!” you cried, trying to push him away from you, your hands hitting his shoulder, trying to snap him back to reality. his teeth dug into your skin and you gasped, “stop.”
you felt your knees buckle, trying to push him away and when peter finally looked up at your face he realised.
he finally realised what he was doing. his grip immediately loosened on your hair, and your hip. and your head sprang forward to reveal your busted lip, his doing. he was holding on to you, this time to stop you from falling down and as were you, hands clutching on to the wooden edge of your study desk.
you looked lost and peter looked petrified as he couldn’t catch your eyes even though he was looking right at them, “baby…”
watching you try to regain your posture, peter felt your hand still pressing against his chest to push him away and he backed off, letting you stand on your own, “i’m so… sorry.” he mumbled, feeling his eyes fill with tears as he watched you wipe your own.
you turned around, your back towards him. he couldn’t move, just staring at you back as he felt his heart fall to the pit of his stomach. he knew he deserved it. he wished you’d yell at him, hit him, do something so he knew how wrong he was. not like he didn’t already know.
“you should go.” your voice was so quiet. so quiet that if he wasn’t spider-man, he wouldn’t have heard it. but he listened to you. last thing he wanted to do right now was ignore you and end up hurting you more than he had for the last month. especially today.
he picked up his mask and you heard the shuffling of his feet. you heard the window slide open and you heard it close. and you heard the ‘thwip’ that took him away from you.
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“and i was wondering if you’d clean out the back, you know the boxes and everything that’s clogging the garage entrance…” may trailed off, looking at his nephew who was in turn busy staring at his phone, “peter?”
the old lady placed a hand on her nephew’s shoulder when he didn’t respond, “peter.”
his head snapped towards her, eyes looking tired as ever as he locked his phone, sliding it in the pocket of his jacket, “sorry, i-”
“we don’t have to do this today.” she smiled at him kindly, “i’m sure miles would be okay with helping me. you could use some rest.”
“no, no, i got this.” peter stood up, “it’ll… it’ll keep me distracted.”
may nodded and started telling him all the things she needed cleared out from her garage. she was getting her house renovated, hoping to put a room on rent. it never hurt to have a few extra bucks in hand.
peter followed the instructions, sorting out stuff from the old boxes into the new ones so they could be donated or stored in better condition.
it had been five weeks since he saw your face after the way he left it. he was sure the bruises would be gone by now, at least the physical ones. he sighed and tried to focus on the task at hand but his mind kept wandering back to his phone screen. all the texts he’s sent and the way you hadn’t read them. he was surprised that you didn’t block him because he would have, if he was in the position you were in.
it was january now but peter knew your exams were still going on. he gave you as much space as you needed. however, it didn’t feel like new year without you. without your laughter, there was nothing happy about the new year for him. he tore his eyes away from the screen again and got back to the work. it was going to take way longer than expected if he kept letting his mind wander.
brushing his hands together when he was done, peter made his way inside the house through the garage door. he carried the box with the items may was going to donate.
he walked to the living area but the sudden sight of you standing in his aunt’s house made the box drop from his hands, the (thankfully) metal objects clanged against the polished wooden floor.
peter’s mouth opened, then closed– partly in disbelief, and partly in perplexity. his heart was hammering in his chest as he took a step towards you. for a minute he thought he was hallucinating. his desperation of getting another chance to just talk to you was getting to his head.
it was not until he reached right in front of you, less than five feet apart, and all breath knocked out of his lungs, that he spoke, “you’re… here.”
he was relieved when you responded, “i am.” you nodded almost formally, “i was here to donate some clothes. may asked.”
“oh.” he mumbled, nodding back at you in acknowledgement.
there was a moment where no one spoke. neither of you knew how to, or what to, talk about in this moment. the door to the house was closed but somehow peter felt a gust of wind flow– maybe he left the garage door opened– but that was last of his worries.
“so…” he started quietl, “how are your exams going?”
“good. good. well enough.” you shrugged, “today was the last one actually… so i thought why not clear out my closet too.”
“that sounds nice.” a small smile appeared over his face.
now as the two of you stood in front of each other, it felt like there was nothing else to talk about except for the elephant in the room.
“about our fight…” you started at the same time as peter.
“you look better.”
then both of you went quiet at the same time.
“you go first.”
peter nodded, “i know what i did was unforgivable. i’m not gonna ask you to forgive me. b-but i will keep apologising for it. i will try to make up to you if you let me.” he rushed through his thoughts. you could tell he was being sincere even though his eyes didn’t meet yours. then he surveyed the surroundings, quietly mumbling to you, “it was the lizard. everything was so crazy and i almost got killed and i didn’t want you to worry so i tried to push you away. and my head was going in circles it…”
peter quieted down when he felt you close the gap between the two of you. your arms wrapped around his shoulders and peter froze. until he realised that he should hug you back. a soft sigh left him as soon as his arms were around you and he realised how much he’d missed this.
“i missed this.” you mumbled, as if reading his thoughts.
“i missed this too. i’m sorry i hurt you. a lot.” peter pressed a kiss to your hairline and you closed your eyes, reveling in the feeling for as long as you could.
“i know you didn’t mean to.” you looked up at him when you parted from the hug, “i was really stressed too. i shouldn’t have said things about spider-man. i know how much it means to you and i don’t even know how this city was lucky enough to have a guy like you looking after it. i guess i got jealous.” you joked, trying to lighten the mood.
peter gave you a smile, “you know you come before everything for me.”
you smiled in return, taking his hand in yours and squeezing it once, “so then… i’ll get going.”
“oh.” peter sighed, disappointment clear in his voice, “can i…” you waited for him to finish his sentence, “take you out on a date?”
you smiled slightly, relieved to find the same old boy you used to love after what felt like an excruciatingly long time and for a moment, as you nodded ‘yes’ to his question, it felt like everything will after all, be alright.
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parkerpeter24 · 4 months
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"Self insert characters are cringe"
Bro I'm trying to survive capitalism with maladaptive daydreaming. Leave me alone.
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parkerpeter24 · 4 months
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GIFTOBER 2023
DAY THIRTY-ONE: FREE CHOICE
A timeline of DONALD GLOVER and MILES MORAELS
Spider-Man 3 (2007) / The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) / Donald Glover: Weirdo (2012) / Community 2x01 "Anthropology 101" (2010) / Ultimate Fallout #4 (2011) / "Not Going Back" Live Performance (2011) / Ultimate Spider-Man 3x11 "The Spider-Verse: Part Three" (2015) / Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) / Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) / Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)
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parkerpeter24 · 4 months
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hi hi for the winter blurbs: mcu!Peter, prompt list 1: 6&8 (idk if I sent it right but you get it)
you sent it right bestie 🥰
pairing: mcu!peter x reader
winter blurbs 3.0 ❄️ | 3.0 masterlist ❄️
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“one normal christmas, that’s all i wanted.”
usually peter found his aunt, may, to be pretty chill. never ever scolding him even for silly mistakes. not even the time he tried to cook popcorn for movie night and almost burnt the house. but right now she looked fed up, almost worried.
it was only fair, she had been working her ass off at feast and it got pretty tough around the holiday season what with the freezing winter and snowfall.
plus he’d given her more than one reason to be mad. he was barely home– going on patrols anytime he wasn’t busy with homework. he often forgot to bring back groceries that may had asked him to and now he had messed up the postcards. she had reminded him four times to post them before the twenty third so that the cards reached everyone on time, but now it was the evening of twenty fourth and all the postcards were kept on the table, untouched since they had been left by her.
peter felt guilt eating at him as he apologised to her.
she sighed, looking at her nephew’s saddened expression, “it’s fine. i guess it’s fine if the cards are a few days late.” she gave him a kind look, returning to her usual self.
“are you sure because i can-” peter stumbled upon his words before getting cut off mid sentence from the sound of the doorbell ringing. the brunette stared at the door for a second before hopping up quickly, “i’ll get it.”
opening the door, he found you with a big grin and two bags in your hands, “merry christmas eve!” you grinned and instantly your arms were around peter. he noticed the snowfall outside and quickly invited you in.
“did you walk here in this cold weather?” your boyfriend asked, his eyes wide and you shrugged.
“cold never bothered me anyway.” you chuckled and went over to greet may and she smiled as you hugged her.
peter’s heart swelled when he noticed how you’d managed to completely change the whole mood of the room just by being in it. you handed one of the bags to may, “i got you a christmas sweater!”
his aunt smiled, taking the bag from your hands and digging in. she pulled out a grey sweater with a red banner in front that read ‘it’s the time to be jolly’ and the twelve reindeers dragging santa’s sleigh. may laughed, looking at the sweater, “thank you, sweetie. you didn’t have to do this.”
“except that i absolutely did!” you grinned and pulled out another sweater from the second bag, “and i got one for peter too.” this one was a green one with lots of candy canes and snowmen printed over it.
peter reached out to take the sweater from your hands and smiled at it, “thanks, i really love this.”
you looked at the postcards placed on the table and then the two of them, “i’m sorry if i interrupted you guys… what were you talking about-”
“nothing important! it was nothing important.” peter quickly interjected, punctuating his sentence with an awkward chuckle, “anyway… how about we go make some hot chocolate?”
“and watch some nice movies! may, you should totally join us.” you smiled at her, taking off your coat to reveal your own red christmas sweater, a huge christmas tree with glimmering lights upon it, making peter laugh.
thankfully, may agreed to your suggestion and the three of you sat on the couch, each with a cup of hot chocolate, spending the best christmas eve– as peter would claim later– and the postcards stayed forgotten for one more day.
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masterlist
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parkerpeter24 · 4 months
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Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)
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parkerpeter24 · 4 months
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