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I think it’s really super important that we address the difference between treating someone “like a man” and supporting someone’s gender expression.

Femmes for a very very long have time have always supported butches, through gender expression and exploration.

And I might get shit for this, but quite honestly I’m really sick of seeing this hatred towards femmes for not treating mascs and butches like “women.” Gender expression has never been and will never be one size fits all.

Some mascs and butches will like being called handsome.

Some will prefer beautiful or gorgeous.

Some will prefer to be treated like they are physically strong, while others will not.

Some butches love flowers (my butch does, I love making bouquets for him!) some will prefer potted plants or handmade notes.

some butches are stone tops, and some are stone bottoms - some are neither.

Some butches prefer he/they, some are indifferent, some don’t resonate with any pronouns at all. Some prefer she.

There is no one correct way to support your partner’s gender expression and exploration - the only CORRECT thing you can do is to love, accept and support them in whatever way this is most comfortable. This is sometimes as easy as a conversation. Some starters for this conversation could be:

- I just want to check in, are these compliments ok?

- I want to support you in the best way for you! are there any particular names/compliments to stay away from?

- I love seeing you express yourself! You look so handsome/sexy/beautiful

- Is there anything that I can do that is really affirming for you? If they are unsure this is a great opportunity for exploring together!

- especially if you can be apart of gender affirming processes, for example: my butch and I shop for packers together, I refer to his strap as their cock, I buy them funky boxers and keep an eye out for boxer straps in different styles (we’re still exploring this area).

What is not okay is specifically going after femmes for enjoying chivalry and the dynamic that has been taught and passed down for generations. As a femme the only time we can truly express our feminine and softness is when we are with butches, when it is finally safe for us to do so. I understand that the lesbian identity changes and grows with time and media and different generations, however I think the erasure, disregard and hate for ways that femmes have always tried to support gender expression is something that needs to be fought back on.

I hate seeing people on TikTok and tumblr (of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions) making videos about femmes and their icks with femmes.

“I got the ick when she called me handsome.”

“I got the ick when she didn’t think I’d like flowers.”

A lot of this is a lack of communication - just tell your femme partner, or your partner of any sort what you like. If you are unsure and you need to explore. THIS NEEDS TO BE COMMUNICATED.

I often still cry to my butch about this, I anxiously ask if they feel like I’m treating them like a man. They always comfort me and remind me that I am a femme, I am their counterpart and I am not treating them like a man - I am treating them like a butch, they way they want to be treated in their masculinity.

In saying this, it needs to be addressed that masculine people, butches etc. have been expected to be strong, cold, predatory. I’m not at all trying to erase this - this is still very real and MUST be addressed as so many butches and masculine people suffer this.

As femmes, and butches I think it’s really important that we guide the younger people in the community to look up to others in the community when looking for images of masculinity and femininity, to see the ways we have always loved and supported each other in both romantic and platonic ways. Femme/butch relationships have always been symbiotic, we have always helped each other move through a world that too often disregards us. Please - defend femmes, defend butches. We have to strengthen our community and preserve what is left.

#wlw #queer

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are you actually more empathetic & considerate than all of your friends or did you grow up forced to cater to and mediate the emotions of adults & everyone else around you and now you’re hypervigilant & prone to fawning and holding people in your life to the standard of your trauma coping mechanisms—a standard you yourself shouldn’t be held to

#I'm curing myself of this so I'm doing much better now

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Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers 2002, dir. Peter Jackson

#he's so pretttyyyy... o(-< #Vigo Mortensen #Aragorn #lotr

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Is it weird that I want the holding cell flat? I wanna put my friends in there and give them puzzles to solve to be let out 🥰🫶

#prev I mean yeah my first thought was sex games lol

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#a frangipani flower! :D

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Chen Chen

#this this this this #it is a concentration of meaning #often on different levels at once #poetry

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(SOUND IS CRUCIAL) this video is has murdered me dead the music the editing the way information is slowly revealed about the two of them the plot twist the breaking bad images. WILLIAM WILLIAM WILLIAM. all over minecraft parkour someone help im seizing

#this is art #laugh rule

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It's such a mystery to me how they all would even interact now that Mizu fucked off to the other end of the world, that honestly anything could be possible! No idea where Akemi or Taigen or Mizu are headed on their own already, not to mention in relation to each other. So personally I don't even have an opinion on who could be a good fit for whom. It will be exciting to find out!

You've perfectly described everything I would love about Taimizu ahah I want so much UST before there is a reveal, just to let him (and her) stew in it and give them time to really bond.

yeah taimizu IS toxic and off putting actually ‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️

#Blue eye samurai #Taimizu #if we get Akemizu sex on screen I will fling myself out of window in pure joy lol #Akemizu #I want Mizu to give sexuality crisises to both of them #if we get a threesome forget the window I'll fling myself into the sun #sorry to Akemi's husband

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Put your music on shuffle, then reblog and put in the tags the first song that comes on! Let’s share music together.

#Much Wisdom is such Grief by Osi and the Jupiter #music

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I just explained Blorbo, Glup Shitto, eeby deeby, the Cask of Amontillado, Ea Naşir and the Superhell to my Funny Friend. I feel like a deranged scholar, but a scholar nonetheless.

Didn't have time to finish but later I'm tackling horse plinko and children's hospital colour theory, with probably an aside about how the two combine in "horse in a hospital".

#Bloom talks #memes #tumblr memes #my funny friend #she's amused

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Mikio || Taigen

"Don't hold back."

#this is a better explanation of Taimizu than all the meta in the world actually #Blue eye samurai #Taimizu

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Exactly!! I didn't mention it explicitly but of course, the gender element is the foundation for their relationship! I said we as the viewers know more than the characters and I feel people tend to forget that, but also people forget what the characters don't know! Taigen doesn't know Mizu is a woman, and people are reacting to him as though he knows.

I, for one, think it's very cool and sexy to take out this element of "Oh no, you are weaker and fragile because of your sex, I can't touch or interact with you in certain ways and we'll never be equals" from their relationship. It will be very, very interesting to see how the reveal plays out, sure, but as much as Mizu deserves soft things, she also deserves equality and respect from that man, before anything else can occur or not between them. I would be very disappointed if he changes behaviour because she's a woman and not because they've become friends and resolved some issues.

Ringo, after all, found out, and he didn't change at all and I think he's the blueprint for how that should go.

The exception should be Akemi, I think. I'm not sure if the reveal would increase her resentment or foster an understanding, or both, but for sure such a recontextualisation ought to be very interesting for their dynamic (and possible sexuality crisis hehe).

And yes!! We both see him as a dog ahah. He's all bark and no bite, and he has the potential to both be a guard dog and a fluffy lap dog. Interesting how he insults Mizu with the very thing he is when he's at his best.

Last but not least you absolutely hit the nail on the head with that abusive vs toxic distinction. People who don't like Taimizu see abuse where there is actually no abuse.

yeah taimizu IS toxic and off putting actually ‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️

#Blue eye samurai #Taimizu #Akemizu #Taigen bes #is it a crime to find it sexy to be worthy of being fought against like a fellow man? I think not #Lady Oscar didn't run so Mizu could only walk

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Getting really sick of all the "There's No Place Like Chrome" ads on youtube. There's Firefox. Firefox saves your passwords. Firefox autofills things if you want. Firefox also does things that Chrome doesn't like allow adblockers, and it does not mine your data and sell your information for advertising purposes. Google is really trying to push people to use Chrome so they can take as much data from users as possible in order to make as much money as possible and it's borderline sinister.

Anyway, download Firefox.

#same

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it is once again... binturong appreciation hour

#new favourite creature unlocked #it's delightful omg #squirrel/cat/puppy/weasel

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#laugh rule #wow that's a high quality pun

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Reblog with your score

#I thought I'd get like 2 but it's at least 13 :“D

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No, Mr. Horse, don’t worry, I certainly don’t have a Plinko down here! What I do have is this lovely cask of wine, specifically for horses, Amontillado in fact! Exquisite vintage.

I know you’re not supposed to be in this hospital, but if you’ll just follow me down this corridor—no, that’s not blood on the floor, it’s color theory, I’ll explain it later—I can bring you to this cask of wine that is certainly NOT a plinko machine—

#and it's glorious #tumblr #meme