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peejsocks · 1 year

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Hey there!

First of all: I love your work, you're doing a great job and I really love your writing style!

I'd like to request something (if you don't want to write that it's cool). I had some kind of a down time for the past few weeks and need something funny/comforting. I thought of maybe reader being a medic on the set of jackass and she and bam and Ryan had a troubled past. So when she sees them she's like "oh please don't get hurt" and the other boys are teasing her like "oh, are you worried about them?" And she's like "god no I don't want to see their faces more than I need to."

And bam or Ryan kinda start to like her and is jealous when the other guys try to flirt with her.

Can end in smut, even though I'm ace and not a smut fan, but the stuff you write is so good, I can totally live with that.

Thanks for your fics and happy new year!

Tell Me

[Ryan Dunn x F!Reader]

A/n: ASSKICKEDBYGIRL WRITING FLUFF FOR ONCE?!?!?!? 😱😱yeah there's a shock. thank you for the req sorry it took me a while to get around to it but thank you for saying that too!!! I've missed writing I wish I didn't have a life.

warnings: mentions of sex, alcohol, cursing

2.9k words

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"You might be busy today, looks like Bam and Ryan are gonna fuck something up." Jeff tutted, glancing over to where the crew were setting up.

"God I hope they don't get hurt."

Johnny overheard what you said, a smirk appearing on his face as he wandered over to where you and Jeff were stood.

"And why's that? You got a crush? Worrying your pretty little head over em?" He laughed, ruffling up your hair as you tried pushing him off.

"God no. I don't wanna see their faces more than I have to."

Johnny's brows narrowed, unsure of why you had some sort of vendetta against the two buffoons from West Chester.

"They went to high school together." Jeff answered Johnny's confusion for you before leaving the two of you be.

"Ah I see. One of them an ex or something?"

You shook your head, scoffing.

"Definitely not. They were just idiots that's all."

Johnny could tell you were leaving some detail out as you continued setting up your station, the job you were supposed to be doing instead of chatting with the star of the movie.

"Did they pick on you? Cause' if that's the case I can kick their asses for you. We'll call it reparations."

Johnny's sweet talking pulled a little smile from you though you kept your eyes trained on the ground, afraid you might fall into Johnny's sunken ones as crushing on coworkers was totally a no-go in the professional sense.

"No it's okay. They were kind of assholes to a lot of people so it's not really considered picking on me. Just boys being dumb."

Johnny nodded, biting his lip.

"Well hell maybe they've changed, they're only jackasses professionally now!"

You laughed, glancing up to meet Johnny's eyes.

"Yeah, maybe they just keep the assholery for when they're getting paid."

Before you could launch into any further discussion with the heart throb, the two cast members you'd least like to speak to darted over, calling your name.

"Did you miss us?" Ryan laughed, wrapping an arm around you like you were the best of buds.

"Can't say I did Dunn." You awkwardly shoved his arm off of you, trying your best to continue unpacking though Bam sitting on top of your workplace made that rather difficult.

"Oh come on, you had to have missed me after I dropped out!" Bam chuckled, leaning back, Johnny simply observing the mini high school reunion.

"I will say Bam, Raab shitting on those lockers was the best thing he ever did, got rid of the two of you!"

That's when Johnny finally interjected, laughing whole-heartedly and clutching his chest.

"Raab did what?!"

"You don't know this? Raab got expelled for smearing shit on a bunch of lockers so Bam dropped out." Ryan smiled, relishing in relaying the story despite the fact he wasn't actually there to experience it.

"Chris committed a string of shit related crimes but that one was truly the last straw." You nodded, smiling at Johnny's joy.

"Well hey, they were pretty funny, you have to admit." Bam extended his arm, attempting to grasp some humour from you.

"Funny isn't the word I'd use... disgusting seems more fitting. Plus you guys were dickheads back then."

Bam and Ryan matched faces of confusion.

"What are you talking about? We were dumb kids everyone just ignored." Bam said, Ryan nodding along.

"Seriously? You don't remember?"

There was an awkward silence then, Bam and Ryan racking their brains trying to understand what the hell you were on about.

"Remember what?" Ryan asked.

You bit the inside of your cheek, glancing between the two boys and remembering Johnny was right there too, witnessing this strange sort of confrontation. You weren't sure if you really wanted to unload the words that swirled in your head through in your teen years in front of the guy you kinda liked, the idea was not exactly appealing.

"Whatever, forget it." You bit your tongue, grabbing something and pretending you had something else to attend to when you were just desperate to make an escape.

***

After that awkward little encounter Bam and Ryan seemed to be making an array of unnecessary visits to your station, pestering you for band aids and asking if random bruises 'looked okay'.

"Bam you've had thousands of bruises in your lifetime, I'm sure you know that looks perfectly normal."

"Alright yeah, I just wanted to come talk to you before Dunn or Knoxville had a chance." Bam pulled down the leg of his pants as your brows narrowed.

"What are you talking about?"

Bam grinned at you, like he knew something you didn't.

"No it's nothing, I just like talking to you."

Bam's glimmering eyes were seeping into you but it wasn't really working, in fact he was becoming more of a nuisance than anything else.

"Well I appreciate the fact you enjoy my company but I'm kinda trying to work here."

Bam rolled his eyes, not giving up.

"Oh come on. No one's hurt you don't have any work to do, just tell me why I was an ass and I'll leave."

As soon as the words left Bam's lips a yell was heard where Johnny was performing a stunt followed by a 'Medic!" shout.

"Fuck." You muttered, grabbing your kit and running over to where Johnny lay clutching his ankle.

"I think I broke it." He spoke through gritted teeth, eyes shut tightly.

You removed Johnny's hand to see the area was already swelling.

"Help me get him to the tent, I have an ice pack there." You called out to someone, Ryan jumping into play as he swung Johnny's arm around his shoulder while you did the same with his other arm, helping him up and steadying him.

A gaggle of people tried to follow you along but you shooed them off.

"He'll be fine, Jeff can you tell everyone to fuck off please?" You called out, Jeff simply shooting you a thumbs up and waving away any stragglers.

As you, Ryan and Johnny eventually made it to the med tent to sit Johnny down, you noticed a stray had followed you along.

"I don't need both of you here." You called out to Ryan and Bam who both pretended to look mightily concerned as Johnny winced and you fetched the ice pack.

"I'll stay." They both said in unison, earning a glare from you.

"I think I can handle a sprained ankle guys, goodbye." You pushed Ryan and Bam out of your tent and closed the curtains, turning to face Johnny.

"Sorry about those idiots, they won't fucking leave me alone." You muttered, removing Johnny's shoe and sock and placing the ice pack on his swollen ankle, causing him to suck sharply through his teeth.

"You think I fucked it up badly?"

"Nah, probably just a sprain even though it might seem a lot worse, you'll have to use crutches for a bit though."

Johnny sighed, looking pissed off.

"Well there goes two weeks where I can't do shit."

There was an awkward silence in the tent then as you kneeled below him, lifting his foot with your hand to elevate it.

"You know they probably like you right?"

"What?" For being so irritated and in pain, Johnny was really gonna bring up Bam and Ryan?

"The idiots. They have massive crushes on you, I know it."

You laughed, shaking your head.

"You're delusional."

Johnny smiled, staring at you below him, rooting through your bag for bandages.

"I think I'm very lusional actually."

"Oh god, lusional? He's losing it nurse this must be something far more serious!" You laughed, wrapping the bandage tightly around Johnny as he laughed too, wincing through the pain.

Bam and Ryan stood outside the tent waiting for you, their ears only being filled with joyous laughter, their teeth now grinding together.

"Think they need help?" Bam folded his arms, beginning to grow impatient.

"She likes him. Of course she fucking does, what girl doesn't like Knoxville." Ryan spat under his breath, kicking the ground beneath his shoe.

"You know, maybe if we weren't such dicks in high school she might give us the time of the day." He added, turning away from the tent to fuck off somewhere, pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

"Come on dude, we weren't that bad." Bam called out but Ryan shook his head.

"Well clearly we were if she can't stand talking to us for more than two fucking seconds." He went off in a huff, regret coursing through his veins at the unknown actions of his teenage self.

Who knew being a bit of a dick in high school would come back to bite you in the ass?

***

It was a Friday night and the crew were off drinking at a local bar after a week of filming. Knoxville had been sentenced to two weeks on crutches and so was hobbling around the bar with them while Bam and Ryan were still falling over each other trying to talk to you. You sat in a booth next to Chris, sipping on your vodka soda and trying to ignore the pestering Bam who was getting more and more drunk by the minute when suddenly he spoke your name all serious.

"Just tell me how Ryan and I were such dicks to you in high school and I promise I'll fuck off."

You were pulled away from your lively conversation to be met with yet another awkward confrontation.

"Bam I don't wanna get into this, seriously." Bam threw his arm over your shoulder and pressed his finger against your lips.

"Just tell me! I'm sorry I was an asshole cause' now I really wanna bang you."

"Alright Bam! That's enough of that!" Like a deus ex machina, Ryan graciously came to your rescue, dragging his drunk friend away from you and pushing him towards another group of Jackass people.

Your eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape.

"Sorry about him, whiskey is like his truth serum."

You just shook your head laughing, still in a state of disbelief.

"Well I wasn't expecting a love confession to go like that."

"He has a way with words." Ryan laughed, shrugging.

"I'm going to the bar and am not ordering whiskey." Chris murmured, sliding out from the booth and leaving you and Ryan alone.

"So you and Bam really wanna know why I didn't like you when we were younger huh?"

Ryan took a sip from his drink, trying to act as if he didn't care as much as his inebriated best friend.

"I mean, kinda but- yeah. Yeah we do wanna know."

You laughed, shaking your head.

"Fine, I'll tell you."

Ryan's eyes widened.

"You will?"

"I will. but! only if you tell me one thing."

"Anything, what is it?" Ryan nodded enthusiastically.

"Do you have a crush on me too?" Your smile widened, eyes burrowing into his own.

Ryan laughed awkwardly, eyes spinning around the room trying to avoid your gaze.

"Oh come on, what are we 16?"

"Well you wanna know why I thought you guys were assholes at 16 so?"

Ryan bit his lip, considering his options when he just settled on biting the bullet.

"Fine. Yeah I do have a crush on you. That's why I wanna know why you're not giving me any chances so bad."

You smiled smugly, picking up Ryan's glass of whiskey.

"God this stuff really is truth serum!"

You both shared a moment of laughter before settling down.

"Alright I'll tell you. Sophomore year you were a Senior. I kinda liked your hair and I thought you were cute."

Ryan bit back a smile.

"I was at my locker and you and Bam were talking and I kinda overheard your conversation."

Ryan winced at that.

"Well that's never good."

You scratched the back of your head, smile faltering slightly when you remembered what you were about to spill, the alcohol in your system making your lips a little looser.

"Well you know I was pretty quiet in high school. Didn't really talk to anyone except my close friends."

Ryan nodded, straying away from any jokes as he noticed your change in demeanour.

"Since I was so quiet I could kinda fly under the radar, overhear things nobody thought I would hear, I was kind of invisible like that. Anyways, one day you and Bam were talking about girls."

Your eyes were stuck on the table, not wanting to look up and back out of what Ryan had lured you into saying.

"I noticed Bam kinda nodded his head towards me and asked you 'What about her?' I didn't hear the first part but knew it had something to do with sex or dating or whatever."

Out of the corner of your eye you could see Ryan was turning red, already embarrassed before he was even told what he had to be embarrassed about.

"And you said something like 'Fuck no she's a prude. Just an uptight bitch.'"

Ryan swallowed thickly, eyes flicking down to his shoes.

"Then Bam was like 'Yeah she's a cunt. Wouldn't fuck me if I was dying.' and then you just laughed and walked off."

There was quiet then, Ryan shaking his head and sighing.

"Look I don't hold it against you. You were just asshole teenagers and I'm sorry for acting like a bitch late-"

"No stop." Ryan stuck his hand out, interrupting your apologetic spiel.

"I was a fucking dickhead, I'm sorry for saying that shit, it wasn't even true."

You smirked, biting your lip.

"It was kinda true. Still is."

Ryan met your eyes then, his expression hiding a smile

"I just said that bullshit cause' I thought you were cute and I didn't want Bam to get his grubby hands on you."

You rolled your eyes, properly laughing then.

"Oh fuck off Dunn. Don't pull that 'He's only mean because he likes you!' shit on me now!"

Ryan shook his head, smile growing.

"I'm serious! Why do you think Bam and I are falling over our feet trying to talk to you now?!"

You narrowed your eyes and crossed your arms, smirk pulling at your lips.

"Are you telling me this whole time the older kid I thought was cute also thought I was cute?"

Ryan smiled before wetting his lips, arm moving himself closer to you.

"And what if I am?"

You laughed heartily, pushing Ryan's chest.

"Don't put your moves on me Dunn. Did you forget I'm a prude?"

He rolled his eyes again, chuckling.

"Come on let me walk you home before Knoxville breaks something else that you need to look at."

Ryan reached his hand out to pull you out of the booth.

"Jealous already Dunn? Guess you really are the type."

You allowed yourself to get dragged up, Ryan slipping his arm around your shoulder to usher you out of the bar.

"Hey where the fuck are you two going?!" Bam slurred out, bringing everyone's attention to you and Ryan.

You half smiled, unsure of what to say. That's when your eyes met with Johnny's as you witnessed him compute in real time what was happening. When he realised who you were going home with that night he simply smiled and winked at you. How was he always right?

"Taking her home asshole." Ryan called out, wasting no time in pulling you away, the urgency making you laugh.

As you walked down the streets of West Chester, Ryan's hand moved down to hold you by your waist, whispering crude comments about passer-bys in your ear to make you laugh when eventually you reached your apartment building.

"Thanks for walking me home." You smiled, holding your hand over where Ryan was holding your waist and turning to face him.

You looked into each others eyes for a moment, both of you smirking uncontrollably.

"I'd invite you in but, you know I'm a prude so."

Ryan rolled his eyes as you cackled, slapping his chest.

"I deserve that."

You smiled sweetly as Ryan did too, his eyes flicking down to your lips for a millisecond as your faces got closer.

"I don't think we should do anything tonight but..." You brought your hand up to rest on Ryan's cheek, rubbing his face with your thumb.

"I could give you something else." You whispered, leaning in and kissing him.

Ryan kept his hold on your waist but moved his other hand to touch your own face, deepening the kiss. He pushed your body to be closer to his own, moving his lips against yours roughly, beard grazing your chin. Before things could escalate any further you pulled away, allowing yourselves to catch your breath.

"You foiled my plan." Ryan laughed, brushing your hair off of your face.

"What?"

"My plan this whole time was to get the prude to sleep with me ten years later, it was strategy all along."

You both laughed.

"I see, you really plan ahead. I guess I'll just have to sleep with you now."

Ryan quirked an eyebrow at your obviously sarcastic response, resulting in a punch to the arm. You laughed pulling away from his hold on you.

"Goodnight Ryan." You turned your back to him and began unlocking the door as he still stood behind you. As the door opened you turned around, smirking before kissing him one last time for the night.

"Call me."

"I'd be an idiot not to."

"What's new?"

End.

@gnarkillknoxville @jackussy420 @lovexjoe @steve-osahottie @stratossphere @izzaaaaaa @jackassvivalabam03 @nonbinarypontius

#chefs kiss

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