petergender

[petergender]

well. i suppose that's enough rapid fire blogging for the night

#tucking myself into bed to wake up to a bazillion notes tomorrow 😌

[petergender]

I'm obsessed with the way sam raimi directs every spiderman movie like he'd rather be making evil dead #14 instead. like I just saw spiderman 2 in the theater again?? that movie is so needlessly violent and full of jumpscares its so awesome. we should let sam raimi direct tom holland spiderman 4 but we put no restrictions on him at all and it's just the most gratuitously violent venom themed body horror flick you've ever seen. and no one likes it but me 🫶

#yay!

[petergender]

also we can have nuanced conversations and I'll shit on tony all day but if u start dunking on happy I'm literally killing you with hammers it is SO over.

#my opinion on happy was neutral to good in hoco #and then as soon as peter post being hit by a train called him and said 'i messed up i need a ride' i was done for. #HAPPY CARES ABOUT HIM FOR REALLLL ☹️☹️☹️

[petergender]

reaching for old peter and tony hurt comfort fic I've bookmarked on ao3 is like trying to eat spaghettios again as an adult like I KNOW it's gonna suck and I should just eat real spaghetti (tlou hurt comfort fic) but some part of me is just convinced I can make spaghettios taste good again..... why

#does ANYONE know what im talking about please sound off #me when im annoyed by everything in the world but also got attached to peter and tony at age 15. uh oh

[petergender]

one thing about me is that even though I thought he was funny in iron man 3, I have been so thoroughly annoyed by harley keener fanon that I just genuinely can't stand him. I am a full time hater. I hope jakey dies

#2nd only to when ppl were obsessed with tom hollands friwnd who happened to be named harrison #and they were OMG IRL HARRY OSBORN 😱😱😱 #shut the fuck UPPPPPPPPPPP ILL KILL #I HOPE JAKEY DIES FOREVER X10

[petergender]

really wish tony had clung to life just a little bit longer so we could've had him tell peter that the only reason everybody's back is bc tony looked at a framed photo of him and got sad and peter could've hit him with the "it wasn't time that did it" reaction face

#the face of a 14 yr old whos just been told a 50 yr old mans sanity rests squarely on their shoulders #i know i juat made one thousand posts bitchjng and moaning about tony but. well. duality of man

[petergender]

#im so glad someones being a pepper hater 🙏🙏 #i might have less contempt for her if ahe wasnt played by madame goops last remaining brain cells

[petergender]

as a reminder, the only uncle ben (or anti uncle ben) "evidence" we have in the mcu:

1. in civil war, Peter says to Tony when asked why he's Spider-Man: "

2. in homecoming, Peter says to Ned: "May can NOT know, I cannot do that to her right now... you know? After everything that's happened with her? Please."

3. also in homecoming, some have said the suit and tie Peter wears to the dance belonged to Ben. There's no real evidence of this, though

4. ALSO in homecoming, May says to Peter "it's just me and you", implying that someone else may have been in their life before

5. in far from home, Peter's suitcase is engraved with the initials B.F.P. (Ben Francis Parker)

6. in no way home, when mcu Peter meets the other Peter's he has no reaction to raimi and tasm Peter mentioning uncle Ben, and implies that May is the first time he's heard the "great power, great responsibility" line

#spiderman #peter parker #ben parker #uncle ben #aunt may #may parker #alright go nuts

[petergender]

and here's the thing is obviously I wanted ben to be canon in the mcu as much as the next guy, but ever since nwh when it felt like we got confirmation that losing ben wasn't smth that ever happened to mcu peter alllll I can think about is may as peters cool single aunt who would always spoil him at holidays bc he was just the cutest little kid and who suddenly becomes the only thing that little kid has left to cling to. "It's just me and you", not because they went through that great loss, but because all they ever really HAD was eachother

can I say something maybe controversial. mcu may parker peaked in homecoming when they made her the most like lorelai gilmore

#idk. hoco may who burns all her cooking and dates around and noticed immediately when peter didnt come home every night to watch tv w her... #very special 2 me. very real 2 me <3

[petergender]

can I say something maybe controversial. mcu may parker peaked in homecoming when they made her the most like lorelai gilmore

#and then they didnt know what to do with her and killed her. sigh #she was sooooop very lorelai tho. to me #which is think its PEAK peter and may type of relationship

[petergender]

slight clarification that I did mostly mean dead aunt may PRE no way home, but to be completely honest I mostly avoid that tag altogether bc it makes me sad 🥲

#me and my million and 1 fix it drafts where she doesnt die against the world... <3

[petergender]

keep it up gang, together we can make the internet hostile again 🫶

#very sorry to anybody who is not a hater and enjoys these 💀 #i just have the ick about so many different things and feel compelled to share with the world

[petergender]

not spiderman related, but my tummy hurts!

I should start all my non spiderman related posts with 'not spiderman related, but' like those ppl who feel like they need to address global warming on their transformers blogs

#half a bag of bbq fritos.... i regret you

[petergender]

I should start all my non spiderman related posts with 'not spiderman related, but' like those ppl who feel like they need to address global warming on their transformers blogs

[petergender]

#purposefully didnt include 'tony stark acts as peters parental figure' bc SOMETIMES. those are good. #if were bringing pepper into the fold tho its all over. pack it the fuck up.

[petergender]

the thing about the peter calling tony dad trope is that while devastatingly cringe it's also sooooo uninspired like I've never seen a fic where he slips up and calls tony uncle ben after he's been shot or smth. wheres the pizzaz

#well. whatever

[petergender]

Spider-Man No Way Home (dir. Watts) / Peter by Taylor Swift

#I KNEW IT WAS COMING...