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peterparkoure · 21 hours

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This is so beautifully written and was also a rollercoaster of emotions. You really made me cry when Hyunjin left 😭😭 I loved this!!

wherever you are ☆ hwang hyunjin.

hyunjin x fem!reader. childhood best friends to lovers. slowburn, pining. fluff, angst. suggestive. a hyunjin birthday special.

wc: 12.9k words.

warnings: reader often referred to as "girl," suggestive. mentions of sex.

note: this fic is my baby. it might be one of my favourite things i've ever written so far, please treat it well <3 feedbacks are very much appreciated.

playlist.

Hyunjin promised you that he'll be wherever you are. What do you do when your best friend of years — the only person you've ever loved disappears without saying goodbye? Especially when you've spent your entire life with Hyunjin, you didn't know of life without him.

one.

“Happy Birthday, Hyunjin.”

It was Hyunjin’s 10th birthday.

Despite already singing him a happy birthday song, you muttered the wish once again in the comfort of his tree house. He sat adjacent to you, feet dangling over the platform, the large leaves hovering over the tree house’s roof providing shelter from the blinding sunlight.

He hummed in gratitude, eyes busy watching Kkami running around below the tree house. Afternoons with Hyunjin were often spent like this — hanging out in the tree house as Kkami played around on the grass, its barks mirroring its happiness. For years, you’ve spent enjoying the fact that your afternoons were spent like this — were spent with Hyunjin, in childish innocence.

After letting the silence take over for a while, Hyunjin turned his head towards you, a little surprised once he saw that you were already looking at him. He tried his best to not let his surprise show.

“Why did you want to come up here? I thought you were enjoying the party inside.”

Indeed, you were enjoying the birthday party, a little too much for Hyunjin’s liking. The boys from Hyunjin’s school came to the party, and you seemed to get along with them quickly, despite being the only girl at the party. Hyunjin hates to admit it but he was a little envious. He told himself that he’s jealous because he’s your number one best friend, so you should pay more attention to him. It was true, but only partially — he was jealous because they were all boys. Not that he would ever admit that to himself.

To Hyunjin’s question, you responded by extending your arms to him, revealing a white box in your palm. He took it, quickly recognizing it as a jewellery box. He’s received one of them after purchasing a Mother’s Day gift. Quietly, he examined the engravings on the box, and the pristine look of it. Honestly, he was impressed by how clean you have kept it. You had always been one to dirty your white clothes.

“What’s this?” he asked, answering his own enquiry by opening the box with you sitting close, peering over his hands.

Hyunjin’s heart skipped a beat.

In the box laid two necklaces, black strings with Lego pieces as pendants. They were matching necklaces. The Lego piece of each necklace formed a heart when joined together. His brown eyes widened, in disbelief of the gift. He’s never received something like this — something matching. It made his heart flutter — no, it beat faster than it does while playing soccer. Hyunjin turned to look into your eyes, and it was as though he had found a new revelation in yours. The more Hyunjin looked at you, the more the realization seeped in, until it overtook his senses.

You’re a girl.

You weren’t just the kid from next door, you weren’t like his other friends — you’re a girl. You like Disney princesses, you have a pretty face, you like Sanrio characters, you have soft hair, you like painting nails, you have pink lips from your strawberry lip balm, you like matching necklaces — you’re a girl.

A very pretty girl.

It felt like a revelation after having been friends with you for over five years. As though the necklaces in the box held some sort of power to snap one from a trance. Hyunjin realized that you were different from his other friends. For one, you have softer hands. Moreover, you’re someone he can develop a crush on — or whatever girls call it.

His finger traced the pendants, feeling the bumps of the Lego pieces. He smiled, one that reached his ears. You felt yourself releasing the breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“I love it soooo much. Thank you.”

Unlike other boys (the stinky ones from your school), Hyunjin didn’t cringe at the gift. The way he gently examined the necklaces mirrored the appreciation he felt towards it. If he was any other boy, he would’ve probably laughed at the gift, then poked fun at you.

Then again, Hyunjin had never been like the other boys you knew.

He was different in the way he spoke softly to you (softer than he would to his guy friends), and how he would let you change the TV channel from Snoopy to Totally Spies. He had always been different, that being the reason why you were so fond of him.

“You like it? Really?” you queried, staring at him. You watched his expressions carefully, trying to sense for any lies.

“Really! Which one do you want?” he answered, absolutely no hesitations. He wasn’t lying.

Hyunjin panned the box towards you, prompting you to pick which necklace. One was in black, the other in white. As always, he gave in to you, letting you be the one to choose.

“White!”

The sun was setting when you both swayed your legs, wearing the matching necklaces. Hyunjin was genuinely happy, one of his hands wouldn’t stop fiddling with the pendant. The party was still lively inside, but he much preferred sitting with you — his one and only best friend.

“Yn,” your best friend’s voice broke you from your trance. “What do you want for your birthday?”

“Hm,” you pondered, tapping your pointer on your chin in a cartoonish manner.

He was looking at you, an expectant expression on his face. You pulled up your legs to cross them as you thought.

“I think…” your voice trailed, “I want to be the best ballerina in the world and move to Paris!”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “at least make it something I could give you!”

You pouted, “but that’s what I want!”

The boy sighed, laying back on the rough surface of the tree house. He looked up, observing the little glow-in-the-dark stars plastered onto the tree house ceiling. He recalled putting them up with you. You were impossible to deal with. Hyunjin desperately wanted to know your wish — something he could give you for your birthday. Your gift to him made him really happy, and he wished to return the favour.

“Then, I’ll be the best artist in the world and move to Paris with you.”

It was such an innocent, child-like answer — straight from a 10-year-old’s desire. Untainted by the boulevard of broken dreams. As if anything in the world was possible, and that the universe was kind all the time.

“Really?” you chirped, looking at him with disbelief in your eyes. You giggled in glee and plopped yourself down beside him. “Really really? You really really really mean it, Hyunnie?”

At that point, Hyunjin could only giggle and nod. “Of course! I’ll be wherever you are.”

The manner in which you hugged him expressed your excitement. You were practically suffocating him, wrapping your legs around his waist and squeezing tightly.

“You’re my best friend in the world!”

Hyunjin felt like he could die.

His heart continued beating rapidly, worsened by you nuzzling your face into his neck. Hyunjin knew, it was just you being your usual self. However, the revelation he experienced minutes earlier made the tips of his ears turn red.

“Hyunjin! Come down here! Your friends are about to leave!”

At that very moment, Hyunjin silently thanked his mother for saving him.

two.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

A question which had you staring into space — the walls of Hyunjin’s bedroom for a while. The blue walls were plastered with posters of numerous musicians and self-made artworks.

It wasn’t that you didn’t know the answer. You knew. Ballet had been a part of your life since small, it was your everything. It wasn’t that you were unsure if you wanted to do ballet, you were unsure if you should be doing ballet.

Uneasiness settled into your stomach, but you tried to keep them in. You were in no mood to be going through an identity crisis.

“Ballerina,” you stated, matter-of-factly. Your eyebrows furrowed when Hyunjin chuckled.

“What?”

“Your answer hasn’t changed,” Hyunjin laughed, but not in a humorous way. Rather, it was in an expectant way, as if he knew that’s what you would answer.

You straightened your posture and tilted your head. Hyunjin laughed even more, making a comment that you looked like Kkami.

“Have you asked me the same thing before?”

He nodded, “sort of? Kind of. On my tenth birthday, I asked you what you wanted.” Hyunjin cleared his throat and took a deep breath, mimicking the voice of younger you. “I want to be the best ballerina in the world and move to Paris!”

“Oh, shut up!” you rumbled, hitting him with his bolster repeatedly. “That’s not how I sounded like!”

“It so was!”

Truthfully, you couldn’t quite recall the memory. You didn’t doubt Hyunjin though, it did sound like something you would’ve said.

You queried again.

“What did you answer then?”

Hyunjin turned silent. He didn’t like where this was going, not fond of recalling the cheesy answer he gave you. As he looked away from your gaze, you pressed him further. Even threatened to dog-nap Kkami.

“Fine. I said… I said I’ll be the best artist in the world and move to Paris too…” his voice trailed, getting smaller, “said I’ll be wherever you are…”

Your eyebrows raised, scooting closer to him in mock confusion. “Sorry? Didn’t hear you.”

A pillow hit your head, and you burst out into peals of laughter. It was hilarious, the cheesy answer little Hyunjin gave, but what amused you even more was his face turning red.

Touches of laughter echoed in the room, and Hyunjin found himself praying the moment would last forever. The conversation quickly escalated into a pillow fight, ending up in Hyunjin leaning against his headboard, exhausted, and you laying on his lap.

You looked up at him, eyes fleeting to the stubble growing. Mindlessly, you grazed his cheek, feeling his sideburns prickling against your thumb.

He was growing, you realized it then. You were growing too. Neither of you were little kids anymore.

A fact you didn't want to accept.

It’s the softness of your fingers that froze Hyunjin in his tracks. He held his breath, as if you would stop if he moved. He didn’t want you to, wanted to let your fingers linger, to etch the sensation into his memories.

In a soft tone, you spoke, “Did you really mean it?”

“Hm?”

“Would you be wherever I am?”

Hyunjin’s breath hitched, a lump growing in his throat. If he spoke, he feared his feelings would become too real. For as long as he could, he wanted to bury his feelings deep down. Life was already risky as it is, he didn’t want to take any more.

It’s platonic. It’s platonic. It’s platonic.

They repeated in his brain like a mantra. Maybe if he chanted it, it’ll manifest to life.

“Yeah,” Hyunjin swallowed, “of course I will. You’re my best friend.”

Like magic, your worries about the future disappeared into thin air. Would it be foolish to trust Hyunjin so much, that you believed life would be fine as long as he was with you?

Dear universe, be good to me.

You smiled, one that Hyunjin swore could light up the entire sky. The stars must envy you, for the way you could brighten up darkness effortlessly.

“I’ll be wherever you are too.”

Yeah, Hyunjin would love it if time froze.

three.

Don’t be a coward.

Four words Hyunjin told his reflection as he got ready. He was dressed in a basic tee and a pair of jeans, hair slicked back like the one time you told him it looked good. He spritzed his cologne behind his ears, on his neck, and on his wrist before repeating the four words again. This time, he whispered it, letting it soak into his brain, in hopes his heart would have courage.

It’s been too long. The feelings he harboured for you piled overtime, the crush he once thought was temporary transforming into fondness. It was becoming too much for Hyunjin’s heart to bear, he needed to let it out. If he didn’t, he felt like his heart could burst. And if it did, it would be confetti-shaped memories of you.

Chatters echoed outside your ballet academy, Hyunjin watched through the lowered window for your face among the sea of people. He had a plan in mind — he’d open the door for you, put the seatbelt on for you, and tell you about his feelings. In front of your academy wasn’t the most ideal place for a confession, he knew, but God — he couldn’t bear sitting in silence with you as a storm raged in his head. He couldn’t do it. He wanted to say it as soon as he could.

Hyunjin’s eyes were still busy looking for you when suddenly, your face came in his peripheral vision, along with another face. The other person was lean, jet black hair with bangs and puppy-like eyes. The boy opened the door for you before Hyunjin could.

Okay, step number one failed.

“Hey, Hyunnie!” your voice chirped, getting into the car. Your hand moved to buckle your seatbelt before Hyunjin could. He was too busy analysing the stranger in front of the door.

“Hey,” Hyunjin replied nonchalantly, looking at the boy from head to toe. “And this is…?”

“Seungmin. And you?” the boy said, tilting his head. To Hyunjin, he was being challenged. Seungmin’s tone was more daring than he liked, so he felt an urge to one-up the guy.

“Hyunjin. Been friends with Yn since were in diapers.” he replied, the extra detail a pathetic attempt at one-upping Seungmin.

Seungmin furrowed his eyebrows, nodding as he shut your door, “Uh. Cool? Bye, Yn. And the friend since diapers.”

Oh, Hyunjin really didn’t like him.

“Wait, Seungminnie!” you called out just as Seungmin was walking away. He looked back at the car, raising an eyebrow. You turned to Hyunjin with puppy eyes. “Can you give Seungminnie a ride? He takes the bus and I think the next one’s in an hour.”

Hyunjin clenched his jaw, eyes fluttering from your pleading eyes to Seungmin’s figure outside the car. If it was all up to him, he would probably run the guy over. But God knew how much he cherished you, how he would rather cut his tongue than tell you “no,” so he agreed.

“Mm. Sure,” he replied, swallowing back a scoff.

Your eyes brightened, “Seungminnie! Come, we’ll give you a ride!” you yelled, tempting Hyunjin to mock the nickname you’d given him.

It was going to be a car ride straight out of hell.

Hyunjin’s knuckles were white against the steering as he pulled up to Seungmin’s residence complex. The building standing in front of him definitely belonged in a gated community, ritzy and luxurious. Somehow, that pissed Hyunjin off even more. He glanced at the unwanted guest sitting in the back seat through the rear-view mirror.

“Want me to drive you to the lobby, or what?”

Seungmin looked back into the mirror, peering at the reflection through his bangs. “Nah. They don’t let random cars in. Here’s just fine,” he mumbled, unbuckling the seatbelt. “Thanks, dude. Appreciate it.”

The car door closed behind Seungmin, leaving the two of you in the car. Hyunjin sighed, feeling the nerves creeping up him again. Now that it was only the two of you, it was time for Hyunjin to confess his feelings.

Before he could, you spoke, “Seungmin’s my friend in the academy. He’s really smart,” your eyes didn’t leave the crossroad before you, watching as Seungmin walked.

Hyunjin had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He tapped on your thigh, trying to gain your attention. It worked as you looked at him, batting your eyelashes. “Hm?”

He licked his lower lip, mustering all the courage in him. It was now, or never. “Look, I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah?”

You shuffled in your seat, tilting your body slightly towards his way. Now that you had your full attention on him, Hyunjin felt even more nervous. He scratched the skin around his thumb, tongue-tied as his brain tried to form coherent words. He’s never done this before, always made fun of his friends for struggling to express their feelings but now that he was in the same place, he wished he could take back all the insults. The brown eyes looking deeply (and anxiously) into yours were profusely blinking, as though he was at the brink of tears. You grew worried.

“Hyunjin, what’s up?”

He scratched at the back of his neck. Why did his tongue feel so numb? Why did his brain feel empty yet so full at the same time? His heartbeats were so fast, he couldn’t quite catch up. Hyunjin was on a rollercoaster — you were waiting at the end of the ride.

Finally, he managed to muster words. “Look, I’ve pondered over —”

Two knocks on the window at the back. They’re followed by the door opening, an exasperated Seungmin popping his head into the car. Immediately, you both looked back, utterly bewildered.

“Sorry. I left my bag. Thank God you’re still here,” Seungmin said, grabbing his messenger bag and slipping it onto his shoulder. “Thanks and sorry!”

The door closed, thus silence blanketed the atmosphere once again. This time, with unresolved tension. You looked back at Hyunjin, tilting your head in curiosity.

“You were saying?”

Dazed, the raven looked at you. His face was a mixture of exasperation and confusion. His head? There was a storm raging, along with curse words aimed at Seungmin.

“Um…” He licked his lower lip, racking his brain to find back the words he wanted to say. They were all lost. He was already at the end of the rollercoaster, the bumps along the way forgotten, and the thrill subsided. All that’s left was the remnants of anxiety. He couldn’t do it anymore, not when he’s forgotten the things he wanted to say, and the moment disturbed by your dear friend Seungmin.

So, he put the gear on to drive. He shook his head and made up a white lie.

“I think I want to try a new ice cream place today.”

four.

The taste of cookies and cream could not beat the bitterness on Hyunjin’s tongue.

It may be because the bitterness has seeped into his head.

“I’m going to your room,” you announced, swinging the front door of his house open. “Hi, Mrs Hwang!” you cheered, running up the stairs after.

“I’m going to talk to my mom a little bit,” Hyunjin said, hanging both your coats on the coat hanger.

Nothing could’ve prepared Hyunjin for what was to happen next.

Both his parents were crowding the kitchen countertop when he walked in, skimming through a piece of paper. They were beaming, eyes crinkled as they smiled. A reminder that Hyunjin resembled both his parents. He blinked in confusion as to why his parents looked so happy. He didn’t think he'd seen them this happy before.

“What’s going on?” he questioned, peering over their figures to look at the paper.

On the paper were words he’d only seen in his dreams. Never in a million years he would’ve thought it’d manifest to life. His heart skipped a beat as he read the words over, and over.

“You made it, sweetheart,” his mother’s soft voice spoke, confirming his suspicion. “You got accepted. Beaux-Arts de Paris.”

“Eomma,” he mumbled, as if he was pleading. Pleading for this dream to stop. Somebody’s got to wake him up from this nightmare of a day. “There’s no way.”

Hyunjin picked up the letter, inspecting it closer. As though if he looked any closer, the words on the pristine white paper would change. Reject him. Or maybe, the logo of the prestigious school would magically transform into a logo of a school in Seoul. Anything, anything, that would keep him here. In Seoul. With you.

“You did it, sweetheart. Your dreams are coming true,” his mother keenly said, pulling him into a side hug. “I’m so proud of you.”

His dream? It was his dream, and, yours. No, scratch that — it wasn’t truly his dream. It was yours. His dream had always been to be wherever you are.

He didn’t think he would be accepted. When you told him you were rejected from the Paris Ballet School, he told you that he was rejected, too. He didn’t tell you that he was waitlisted, under the impression that he was never getting out of the waitlist. What was he to tell you now?

Hyunjin hid his sadness, wanting to make his parents proud, “Yeah. I did it. I’m so happy, eomma, appa.”

A series of praises left his parents, and he allowed for them to engulf him in a hug.

“Don’t tell Yn, ‘kay?” he muttered, before excusing himself to go upstairs. The acceptance letter was neatly folded, tucked into his pocket.

When he swung his bedroom door open, you were standing in front of his full-length mirror. Clad in only his t-shirt, you inspected yourself.

“Hey, Hwang Hyunjin,” you muttered, turning your body. “Your clothes are bigger than me now. You used to be so small.”

You looked at him, mock dismay in your face. “I was so much taller than you before. You were a dwarf.”

How was he meant to tell you about Paris?

“I was never a dwarf. You were just too busy looking down on me.”

Giggles left both of you. Silently, he observed the way you were examining yourself. You had the mannerisms of a ballerina, each gesture as gracious as your dance. Hyunjin adored the curves of your body, but God knew he loved that of your smile even more.

Later, you were both laying on his bed, you in a starfish position. Hyunjin was at the edge of his bed, trying his best to not fall.

“Ballet was so hard today,” you sighed. You turned your body sideways, burying your face into Hyunjin’s chest. He could smell you in this closeness.

“Are you wearing my deodorant?” he queried, bowing to clasp his nose onto your shoulder. It felt like a kiss to him. “This is literally the smell of my deodorant.”

You shrugged. “Yeah? What about it? You should’ve gotten used to me taking your things by now, Hwang Hyunjin. I’ve been doing this our whole lives.”

Touché. The boy sighed, letting you fill in the silence with your babbles. Wordlessly, he listened to your words, letting it be the white noise to his thoughts.

His head was clearly not there. Unbeknownst to him, you knew of this. He’d been off all day. You’ve picked up on each signal, knowing him like the back of your hand. As much as you wanted to know what was wrong, you knew not to pry. You resorted to comfort instead.

Your fingertips met at the back of his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. He was never one for physical touch but sometimes, it helped. You leaned your head into his neck.

Gingerly, you whispered the words you thought he would need.

“You’re always here, around me. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

The exact words he did not need to hear that day.

How was he meant to tell you of his feelings now?

Especially when he was leaving — oceans away.

five.

Hyunjin had always loved soccer.

Whether it be being in the bleachers, or playing in the field. He loved doing both. There was something about the thrill of watching people play, and the adrenaline as he chased around the field.

Sitting in the bleachers, Hyunjin watched as his soccer team played. The sounds of his teammates laughing made the blazing sun a little more bearable. He lowered his cap to prevent the sunlight from getting in his eyes, chuckling when he saw Beomgyu falling face-first onto the grass.

He loved his soccer team. Every time he observed them play, Hyunjin’s heart always got overwhelmed with pride and joy. At that moment, he felt melancholy taking space too — the thought of not being able to play with them anymore hurting him more than he thought it would.

Hyunjin allowed for the melancholy to take space, allowed himself to feel — so much so that he didn’t feel Minho’s presence. Not until the older cleared his throat.

Minho sat beside him, “Why the long face, Hwang Hyunjin?”

“Huh?” startled, he looked up, face softening when he saw Minho. “Oh. Nothing. You’re not playing?”

“Nah,” Minho replied curtly. He silently analyzed the younger’s facial expressions before speaking up again. “For someone who’s going to Paris in two weeks, you sure don’t look too happy.”

Of course, Minho out of all people would notice the change in his mannerisms. Always the analyzing one, quick to notice changes in demeanour. There was no point in lying, not with Minho — so he let out the sigh he didn’t realize he was holding.

“It’s bittersweet, you know?” he mumbled, fiddling with his fingers.

“It’s Yn, isn’t it?”

“Huh?”

“You don’t want to part ways with her. It’s what’s holding you back.”

Right on. It was as though Minho was a mind-reader. A heavy weight pulled on Hyunjin’s heartstrings, made his heart even heavier than a few minutes prior.

“Yeah,” he didn’t lie, again. He looked at Minho, and the older could clearly see the uneasiness written all over his face. “If you were me… would you tell her about your feelings?”

“The fact that you like her?”

“Yeah.”

Minho fell silent. He pondered over the question, looking at the sight before him. The sun was setting, orange hues painting the sky. Hyunjin wondered if Paris sunsets would look the same.

“I think…” Minho turned towards the younger. He shook his head. “I wouldn’t tell her.”

“Why?”

“Won’t benefit you, I don’t think.” Hyunjin raised an eyebrow. “Listen. If you were to tell her, and she accepted, do you think you could get into a relationship with her?”

“I mean —”

Minho cut him, “Realistically, do you think the relationship would succeed? I mean, the time zone between Seoul and Paris is pretty big. The distance, too. I don’t think it would work out. And that’ll be bad, you know? You’ll both be left wondering what could have been.”

The truth hurt. The distance, the time — none of them were on Hyunjin’s side.

“And, if, God forbid, if she were to reject you… do you really want your last memory with her to be the hurt you’ll feel?”

Hyunjin shook his head. The other sighed, and patted him on the back.

“There are things better left unsaid. You should take her out. Spend your last time with her nicely.”

Despite Hyunjin’s stubbornness, he took Minho’s advice. It took him a lot of contemplating (and crying), but he followed it anyway. Whether he liked it or not, Minho’s advice had a lot of truth in it.

Bitter truths, but true regardless.

six.

“Where are we going?” you whined, trailing behind your dear friend. The sun was setting in two hours, orange hues were beginning to paint the sky. “Hyunnie, if you don’t tell me where we’re —”

“Please, stay patient. Will you?”

Hyunjin looked behind. He was wearing a blue knitted vest. In one hand, he held a picnic basket. The other, is your handbag. You never have to carry your own with him.

“But we’re literally in the middle of nowhere!”

“Please just trust me,” he pleaded. One hand was stretched towards you, a silent offer to hold his. “Come. If you’re too tired, I’ll give you a piggyback ride.”

Ever the opportunist, you took up on the offer. Alas, Hyunjin was left walking the remaining distance, you happily singing road trip songs while clinging onto his back. To butter him up, you told him that he must’ve been a blessing sent to you by God. Although he groaned at the remark, you couldn’t see the small smile on his face.

After a few minutes, you understood why Hyunjin was adamant about going out that day. Before you, green plains stretched as far as your eyes could see. Scattered across viridian shades were wildflowers. Some yellow, some pink.

Hyunjin had brought you to a flower field.

The picnic basket, and the Polaroid camera finally made sense.

Without any more words, you jumped off his back and ran into the field. The yellow sundress you wore matched that of the wildflowers. In Hyunjin’s eyes, you blended right in.

You were as pretty as the flowers.

“Careful, Yn! Don’t fall!” He called out, his voice echoing in the space. He watched you from afar. There was an urge to run among the flowers too, but he was much more content with watching you.

From a distance, in silence, he observed your every move. He couldn’t help the giggles that left his lips. The smile that lingered on his lips. He wanted this memory to last, to be ingrained in his brain forever. Soon, he wouldn’t be able to witness your happiness.

“Hyunnie, you need to come here! It’s so nice!”

Chuckling, he carefully placed the picnic basket on the ground. Hyunjin was done with setting up the picnic spot. He ran towards you, lifted you off the ground and twirled you around. You broke out into giggles and held onto his arms.

Among the flowers, two silhouettes danced with each other. Swaying to the same melody as the peonies. Despite being a ballerina, you kept stumbling onto Hyunjin’s feet, giggling each time he elicited an “ow.”

Like a scene from a movie.

Like he wasn’t going away soon.

Before the sun could set, Hyunjin convinced you to sit on the picnic blanket. He wished to dance with you longer, but alas, time awaits for no mortal.

“How do you want me to pose?” you asked. You were facing him, legs tucked sideways.

Hyunjin scooted closer to you, and wiped breadcrumbs off your lips. He commented on you eating messily. “You can pose however you want.”

You nodded, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Okay. Make sure you get my good angles, yeah?”

“You look good from any angle.”

Crimson crept up your face. You hadn’t expected that remark. You hoped he wouldn’t see you blush, you would just tell him it’s the sun then.

“Okay…”

Two clicks, then a flash went off. Your eyes widened, caught off-guard.

“You didn’t even count to three!”

Your whines were responded to with a giggle. The camera whirled, apprising you of a Polaroid developing. Hyunjin took it, fanning the Polaroid with a grin. He was excited to see it.

“I wasn’t ready!”

“Candid photos are better,” he sighed. “Don’t you know? Everything’s prettier when it’s genuine.”

“So you’re calling me pretty?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “Have I ever said you’re ugly?”

Right. He has never.

You prayed to God the heat on your face was from the sun and not from blushing.

Once the Polaroid fully developed, Hyunjin made sure he was the first to see it. To your dismay, he held it close to his face, shielding it from you. His cheeks dimpled, illustrating his happiness. You looked so pretty, the sunlight on your face giving you an angelic glow. If he looked closer, he was sure he’d see a halo.

Hyunjin wanted to keep this forever.

If he couldn’t freeze the time, he figured he’d trap the memories in photographs.

“Let me see!” you whined. “It’s a picture of me! I have the right to see it.”

Scampering towards him, you waved your hands, trying to get the photograph off his hand. To no avail, Hyunjin had quick reflexes much thanks to his soccer experience.

“No! You can’t — it’s for my eyes only!”

“Ridiculous! That’s my face, Hyunnie!”

“It’s my camera film. So it’s mine!”

Neither one of you would let up, legs entangling against each other as you fought over the photograph. He was determined to not let you even see the picture. One of your palms pressed against the picnic blanket, the other reaching up towards his hand. Hyunjin used his free hand to push you gently but alas, he underestimated his own strength. In one swift move, you lost your balance, toppling over him.

“Ow,” he fell back and winced in pain. He looked up, and all the back pain was suddenly replaced by shyness. There you were, on his lap — face just as flushed as his.

Hyunjin didn’t know what to do now.

Pathetically, he just stared into your eyes, finding himself getting caught in them. He could feel your hitched breaths against his chest, he was very aware of your trembling fingers on his arms. There was a strong urge to kiss you as his eyes fell onto your lips. He wondered how they’d feel on his lips. He imagined it in his head — missing the way your eyes stared at his lips too.

If you were a flower, Hyunjin would be a bee. He desired you, eyes tracing the shape of your lips. Over, and over. If he kissed you, would your lips taste like honey?

He ought to find out. Hesitantly, he inched his head closer to yours. The warmth of your breath against his skin marked the closeness between you.

Numerous scenarios flashed in Hyunjin’s mind. Of him kissing you senseless, then whispering a love confession in your ear. Of your cold fingers pressing into his skin as he tells you each perk of yours that he loved endlessly. The more he imagined, the closer he was. You shut your eyes, waiting for his lips to finally press onto yours.

Paris. The one-way plane ticket to Paris.

Against his heart’s desire, his fingers cupped your chin instead. Subtly, he pulled back, eyes trailing back up to your eyes. He ignored the look of confusion in your eyes.

Reaching down, he pocketed the photograph. His heart clenched as he spoke, but he did anyway.

“I win.”

The two words pulled you from your trance — they tore off your heart like paper. You blinked, watching the playful smirk that graced Hyunjin’s porcelain face.

“Oh.”

The whole journey home, bitterness sat on Hyunjin’s tongue like the aftertaste of tangerine pulp. Did you want the kiss too, or had his libido fabricated things?

Nevertheless, he couldn’t kiss you. Not when he had suitcases packed for Beaux-Art de Paris. Not when it’s all his parents could talk about.

Minho’s words played in Hyunjin’s mind like a broken record. They served as a reminder of what could not be. For the sake of his heart, he told himself that it had all been a figment of his imagination.

Tension cloaked the front door of your house. Neither of you made a noise, save for the jingling keys in your carabiner. You observed Hyunjin, who was busy looking at his shoes. Once again, his mind wasn’t in his head. It had been that way for a few weeks.

“See you soon?” you mumbled.

Hyunjin looked up, nodding at your words. He pulled you into a hug, one that almost crushed your bones. Shakingly, he nuzzled his head into your neck, burying his face into the skin like you would dissolve if he didn't. It must’ve hurt his back but you made no comment, instead you wrapped your arms around his neck, in hopes it'll give him solace. By the front door you held him, so tight that it was as though the two of you were one, the curves of his fingers burning through your skin.

You didn’t know that it was a goodbye. It had to stay that way.

Once more, his heart clenched in his chest. Two hands cupped your cheeks, as gentle as he could be, like you would break. He engraved this version of you into his memory — kind eyes boring into his with a soft smile plastered across the face he'd grown to adore. He vowed to always remember this face.

Deeply, he inhaled his breath. Preparing the next words — lies to say to you, no matter how tight his chest felt.

“Yeah, see you soon.”

The last words Hwang Hyunjin muttered to you.

seven.

One day before your birthday.

It had been two days since Hyunjin brought you to the meadow. You hadn’t seen him much, just glimpses of him as he played around with Kkami in his backyard. You figured that he was busy.

“Hello, I’m home!” you said in a sing-song voice as you stepped into the Hwang household. Kkami who’d usually greet you wasn’t in his usual spot, so you trudged straight to the kitchen, where Hyunjin’s mother was sitting. “Hi, Mrs Hwang.”

She looked up, lips twitching into a smile, a cookie-cutter of Hyunjin’s. Under the kitchen light, you don’t miss the dried tears by her eyes. You pursed your lips, wondering if she was watching a sad drama. Hyunjin inherited his trait of easily crying from his mother, after all.

“Hi, sweet girl,” she looked at your outfit from head to toe. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“Oh,” you muttered, giving her a little twirl. “My birthday outfit! Is it pretty?”

“Of course.”

You smiled at her, fiddling with the hem of your blouse. Keenly, you looked around the kitchen for any traces of Hyunjin. You realized that the house seemed much quieter than usual, emptier than normal.

“Where’s Hyunjin?” you asked. The reason why you’d come over was to show your best friend your birthday outfit. Now that you were there, he was nowhere to be seen. “Is he home?”

Sympathy materialized in the mother’s old eyes. She tilted her head at you, lips pursing as she thought of the correct words to say.

“My girl, did he not tell you?”

Confusion would be an understatement. Hyunjin told you everything, everything — from pointless thoughts to his deepest, darkest secrets. You were his secret keeper, his companion — there was nothing he wouldn’t tell you.

Was there?

It had to be something unimportant, right? Perhaps he was off to an art workshop and forgot to tell you. But looking at his mother, it felt like something big. You grew anxious under her sympathetic gaze.

“Tell me what?” you questioned, letting out a nervous chuckle.

“We just came back from Incheon Airport. He’s on a plane to Paris,” the lady replied. She stood up, inching closer towards your trembling figure. “Did he not tell you, Yn? I thought he did.”

“Paris?” you asked, blinking. “Like. For a vacation?”

“No, sweetheart. Beaux-Arts de Paris. He got into the school.”

The words felt like bullets on skin, penetrating and chagrining you deeply. It felt unreal — a hoax.

You scoffed, “What? He wouldn’t go without telling me.” Your eyes searched for humour in his mother’s eyes. “Is this like, a birthday prank?”

Her eyes saddened even more. “No, sweetheart. He really went.”

Another betrayal came in the form of tears cascading down your eyes without warning. The emotions hit you faster than your brain could process things. Speechless, you took steps back from his mother, before running up the staircase to his room.

He had to be there. Sitting in his swivel chair and laughing at your face. He’ll tell you it was a prank and wipe away your tears.

Hyunjin was your best friend of a lifetime. He wouldn’t do this to you. He had to be there.

When the door to his room swung open, a sob was knocked out of your mouth.

All traces of life in the bedroom were gone, save for the soft purrs of Kkami sleeping on the bed. The bed was stripped of its bedsheets, and the towels hanging behind the door were gone. The laundry bag was empty.

All traces of Hyunjin were gone.

The realization hit harder than his mother’s words. If the words hurt like bullets on skin, the sight of Hyunjin’s lifeless room felt like a knife twisted in your gut. It felt like sanguine dripping from wounds, and Hyunjin’s holding the knife. It felt like a betrayal.

“Hyunjin,” his name slipped from your lips like a plea. “Hyunjin.”

More choked sobs escaped your windpipes as you searched around the room. First, it was his wardrobe. The oak material was practically empty, all that remained were a couple of sleep tees and the shirts you’ve left over the years. You rummaged through the hangers, finding that he had brought one of your sweatshirts along.

The confirmation of his departure was the emptiness of his study table. Each nook and cranny of his table used to feel like Hyunjin, from the stacks of sketchbooks to eraser dust. Everything was Hyunjin — but at that moment, there was nothing. There was only a void — that of his desk and your heart.

Your best friend was truly gone.

“Hyunjin,” the name wrestled its way past your lips again. This time, it was out of longing. “Hyunjin.”

The manner in which you walked to his bed echoed your feelings. Quivering, like a toddler’s first time walking. Your body fell onto the bed, earning a soft whine from Kkami. Gently, you held Kkami in your arms, letting a stream of tears cascade down your cheeks. For the first time in a while, you allowed yourself to cry, to feel, to mourn.

If someone were to tell you that Hyunjin out of all people would make you cry that much, you would’ve laughed. Never in a million years, you’d say. The only times he had made you cry were from laughter.

“Kkami,” you cried. The chihuahua nuzzled its head into your arms, as though it could feel your sorrow. Perhaps it could. “I miss Hyunjin.”

The dog whined. It looked up to you, placing its paw onto your arm. You cried even more.

“I wanted to tell him about how I feel today,” through sobs, you managed to speak. “How could he make me feel so many things in one day and disappear the other? He didn't even say goodbye.”

It felt like the chihuahua was mourning with you — the way it nudged its head onto your arm, letting out soft whimpers. As though it was telling you that things will be okay.

You weren’t sure that it would. You spent your whole life with Hyunjin by your side, you had never known life without him. Now that he was ripped from your grasp, you didn’t know how to go on. No — he voluntarily released himself from your grasp, without warning. It was worse.

Physical traces of Hyunjin in his room were gone. There was only his scent — the smell of his shampoo, and his cologne. It lingered in the room, mocking you.

In your melancholic state of mind, you could only weep.

eight.

“Coffee, or tea?”

A female voice broke Hyunjin from his trance. He looked up at the stewardess standing by his seat, the sweatshirt doused in your scent crumpling in his tight grip.

“I want to get off this plane,” sat on his tongue and dissolved. He took a deep breath.

“Um,” he looked at the cart, “Plain water, please?”

Coffee would only force Hyunjin to stay awake, forcing him to listen to his own brain’s torments for 14 hours straight. Tea reminded him too much of you, of the times when you were little and would make him play tea party with you. He’ll think about the times you’d cheekily kiss his cheek, an attempt to woo him into playing with you. It worked each time.

The stewardess nodded, handing him a water bottle branded with the aeroplane’s logo. He muttered a thank you, yet the stewardess still didn’t walk away. She looked nice, her eyes analyzing Hyunjin told him that he must’ve looked like the epitome of a wreck.

“First time flying?” she questioned. It wasn’t his first time, having gone on many vacations before yet he nodded. “I see. It’ll be fine, just sit back and relax.”

The woman, whose name tag said Chaewon flashed Hyunjin a hospitality smile — one he didn’t think he deserved — then walked away. Hyunjin pursed his lips, wishing that she hadn’t walked away. He didn’t want to be left alone with his thoughts, he didn’t want to be awake, he didn’t want to be in this plane — there were a lot of things he didn’t want to do, but had to do.

Hyunjin wanted to turn back.

Silently, he looked out the window, watching as the landscapes of Seoul grew smaller, slowly becoming covered with clouds. He desperately wished to get out, praying to God that the plane would miraculously turn back and the tableau of Seoul would become bigger. Had he told the stewardess named Chaewon he wanted to get off, would they have let him? Had he told his parents he didn’t want to go to Paris, would they have understood?

If he tells you he’s sorry, would you forgive him?

Regrets and memories clouded his mind, tears making their way down his cheeks. Each thought strangled his heart, and he could feel it physically aching. In a melancholic state of mind he sat, clinging onto your sweatshirt like it was his lifeline, allowing slumber to slowly take over.

The break from his own thoughts did not last long enough.

Seven hours later, Hyunjin woke up to dried tears on his cheeks. He straightened his posture and glanced at the window, feeling a wave of emotions at the change of landscapes. Hyunjin wasn’t sure in which city they were flying over, but he could say with certainty that it did not look like Seoul. It did not feel like home, it did not feel like you.

Unable to fall back to sleep, he couldn’t help the thoughts that poisoned his mind. Looking over the landscapes, he came to a realization much too painful for his heart to bear.

You and him — you were the Sun, and he was the Moon. Two people of different circumstances, who’ll never meet, ripped away from the merciless hands of time. For your timezones were different — horizons even more.

As a wave of new tears descended, Hyunjin wondered if he would ever forget about you.

The answer came to him one afternoon three years later, as he laid on the couch in his Parisian apartment.

No, he’d never forget about you. At least not in three years. Maybe not even in five.

Sunlight seeped in through the balcony, providing Hyunjin the warmth he wasn’t able to receive from a person. His roommate was a French guy who was always out and about, leaving Hyunjin to soak in his own company for hours on end. Sometimes, for days. Hyunjin loved and hated it at the same time.

His limbs stretched across the burgundy couch, a yawn eliciting past his lips. Brown eyes stared at the canvas in front of him, black and white hues scattered on white, forming a half-finished painting of you.

Years later, and you remained at the back of his mind — his muse.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

nine.

There are five stages of grief.

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, then acceptance. Denial was the hardest for you, having spent your entire birthday staring at the front door of your house, praying Hyunjin would walk in. When your friends sang you a Happy Birthday, it sounded like a morose ballad playing from a broken record. Without Hyunjin, gloom sat at the centre of even the happiest things.

Then came a sixth stage — one that seemed to exist for you.

Motivation.

After coming to acceptance that your best friend had gone, without any farewell, you spent many hours a day in the ballet studio. Pirouette, arabesque, plié — you managed to polish each move with the amount of time you spent cooped up in the studio. You weren’t born with ballet feet, but the times spent in pointe shoes had somehow moulded you into having them.

Perhaps, it was distraction, disguised as motivation.

Nevertheless, the tireless hours of practice granted you a position in the Paris Ballet School.

Paris felt bittersweet when you first landed. It was the city of your dreams, but the reminiscence of the person it took from you made you loathe it.

Withal, life had to go on. To cope with the Parisian lifestyle, you managed to get a job at a cafe near your academy — Desir Cafe. You worked night shifts as a kitchen crew but if traffic was overwhelming in the afternoons, your shitty excuse of a boss would make you come in anyway.

Unfortunately for you, it was one of those days. Clinks and sizzles reverberated in the kitchen, the peg board overwhelmed with sticky notes of orders. You were everywhere in the kitchen, from piping icing on cupcakes to sprinkling chocolate rice on pastries.

“Yn,” the main baker yelled, “Tell Double C’s we can’t stock up on macarons! We’re out of almond flour!”

The Double C’s — Charlotte, and Colette. They were a duo who worked as waitresses, always gossiping. Birds of the same feather, attached by the hip.

Exasperated, you headed to the front, swinging the kitchen door open to see the duo gossiping. Charlotte was leaning in towards Colette, whispering into her ear, earning giggles from the other. You sighed, wondering what the topic was that afternoon. Curious as to who they were gossiping about, you looked towards the direction they were looking.

Seated alone at the corner of the cafe was a guy, blonde hair gleaming golden from the sunlight seeping through the big window. His utmost focus was on the sketchbook in front of him, frail fingers dancing across paper, entrancing any eyes which fell upon him. You couldn’t help but stare, your face gradually contorting into disbelief.

He resembled too much like Hyunjin — your Hyunjin.

Your gaze lingered on the man, analyzing each crease of his face, matching it with the one you had in mind. He looked just like Hyunjin, from the shape of his nose to the mole under his eye. The only difference was the hair. Hyunjin’s hair was raven black, but the person in the cafe had golden blonde hair. You felt your throat tighten. If the man sitting at the corner was him, then time had done good on him. He was beautiful, face sculptured beautifully by time’s gentle hands.

“Ooh, look who’s ogling!” a high-pitched voice interrupted you. You looked up to see the Double C’s looking at you, wiggling their eyebrows mischievously. Charlotte smirked, “Think the guy’s cute?”

“Huh? What guy?” you lied, feeling your cheeks heat up.

Colette rolled her eyes. “The dude over there! Don’t lie, you think he’s cute.” The brunette wiggled her eyebrows even more, subtly pointing at the man.

You didn’t say anything else, but your eyes travelled back to the familiar silhouette. The sense of familiarity tugged on fragile heartstrings the more you looked at him. Colette could sense your curiosity, so she parted her lips to speak.

“That’s Hyunjin. He’s a student in Beaux-Arts de Paris,” she muttered, unbeknownst to her the mixed emotions that dawned upon you. “He comes here almost every afternoon. Maybe that’s why you’ve never seen him before. He’s cute, isn’t he?”

Excitedly, Charlotte nodded her head. “A total heart-throb, honestly.”

“I mean…” your voice trailed, “He’s quite alright.”

How were you supposed to react to finally seeing the one who got away? Were you supposed to feel excited, or upset? It was like the moon had suddenly dropped down onto your lap.

You were confused.

Charlotte continued speaking, not realizing the mixture of emotions in your face. “Sometimes, the students have exhibitions about ten minutes from here. His artworks always make it to the exhibitions. I’ve seen them, and they’re really beautiful.”

You turned towards her, “Exhibitions?”

She nodded, still naive as to your shift in behaviour. “I think the school has an exhibition every three months or so.”

Unfaltering, your eyes bored holes in Hyunjin’s back. He was in his own little world, evidently absorbed in whatever piece he was working on. Just like that, the memories you spent years suppressing came rushing back.

It was unfair, the impact he had on you. There he was, lounging in a corner while your heart grappled in your chest. He looked older, better — and you were still the little girl in the tree house. Swaying your feet as they dangled, as though you had all the time in the world.

Charlotte and Colette exchanged looks as you stared at him. To them, you were simply developing a crush on a stranger. They wouldn’t understand the conflict brewing in you, they wouldn’t be able to comprehend the ache that stirred in the depths of your heart.

“What? You’re interested in him?” Charlotte spoke, breaking you off your trance. You looked at her, blinking. “Don’t even try. I’ve tried. I think he’s gay.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“He’s not gay — oh my god, Lottie!” it was Colette’s turn to speak. Playfully, she smacked the other’s arm. “I asked that guy he’s always with, the songwriter — Felix. Cute guy, that one. Felix told me that he’s got a secret lover or something.”

“Secret lover?”

“Yeah. Apparently, he likes to draw this one girl. His sketchbook’s filled with her,” Colette murmured, glancing at Hyunjin. “Felix asked her who she was, and he said it’s a girl of his dreams.”

Your heart dropped. You weren’t sure to which news you should react first, either Charlotte hitting up on your Hyunjin, or that he has a secret lover. Either way, it made you pathetically jealous. Your heartstrings thrummed in anger as you imagined a beautiful French girl spread out on his bed, and Charlotte hitting up on your Hyunjin.

How could he go on with his life when you spent years mourning him?

Crimson tainted your lip as you bit on it hard, the taste of metal at the tip of your tongue.

Perhaps, you never made it past the anger stage of your grief.

ten.

You truly tried to be happy for Hyunjin.

For days, weeks — you spent convincing yourself that you had to be happy for him. Sure, he hurt you three years ago. Sure, you spent years in agony, regretting not telling him how you felt earlier, wondering what could’ve been. Sure, you hoped that you’d see him in Paris and he’d tell you that he’s in love with you and kiss you senseless — but those were just desperate prayers, weren’t they? Those were simply hopeful scenarios. You hadn’t expected them to come true, had you?

Hyunjin was your best friend of years. He deserved happiness, even when you didn’t feel happy. You had to let things go. You had to be happy for him.

Clearly, you failed at convincing yourself.

In front of a building you stood, the sound of people walking past becoming white noise. You stared at the banner standing in front of you, the words Autumn Exhibition displayed, with the logo of Beaux-Arts de Paris at the top. You swallowed the lump forming in your throat.

A week ago, Charlotte told you that the university would be holding another exhibition, and Hyunjin’s artworks most likely made it into the exhibition. You knew then, that you had to go. If you didn’t get to see him, then you at least wanted to see his pieces. To not be a part of his life was devastating, you wished to at least witness glimpses of it.

9:45 p.m. was displayed on your screen, people were beginning to leave the exhibition. There weren’t many people around, which was what you were hoping for. Visiting the exhibition in daylight meant potentially bumping into Hyunjin, and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that.

One day you ought to meet him, but not today. Not when the fragments of your heart have yet to be mended.

After taking a deep breath, you willed yourself to step into the exhibition. A gust of wind hit your face, and you shivered, clutching your coat tight. The art display seemed to be painting-themed, the way frames of canvases were scattered around the building. Baroque paintings were displayed all over, each piece as beautiful as skies at dusk.

The tapping of your heels against the ceramic tiles sounded as you walked, the romantic lighting of the room providing you with a sense of comfort. Wildly, your eyes observed each piece, letting your heart be swayed by the beauty.

They were all beautiful — but they didn’t feel like Hyunjin.

Until your eyes trailed to a certain piece.

It was the centrepiece, the piece — little bulbs of lights were installed above the frame, making the piece feel alive. The moment your gaze fell on the artwork, you couldn’t help but feel drawn in, taking hurried steps towards it. You stared, unable to take your eyes off the hues on the canvas.

There weren’t many hues, just black and white. It depicted two figures on swings. You couldn’t see the figures clearly but you could tell they looked happy. You could see through the strokes of paint that they were happy — though the artist not so. There was a certain sadness in the painting, one that screamed nostalgia.

The longer you looked at the piece, the more you realized.

It was a fragment of your memory.

Your breath hitched. In came a memory of you and Hyunjin — running around the park before playing on swings. It was a particularly memorable day, you could recall falling off the swing and Hyunjin kneeling in front of you, kissing the bruises on your knees with the tenderness of a feather. It was the first time you felt so protected, and so loved.

A rush of emotions overcame you, you wondered if that was how Hyunjin felt when he painted it. Had he thought of you, and wept by his easel? Had he stained his cheeks with charcoal as he wiped stray tears off his face?

You wondered, so much so that you failed to realize a silhouette entering the display.

Hyunjin didn’t enjoy art exhibitions in daylight. They felt pompous. The people who visited the exhibitions would usually walk around casually, and took photos. They didn’t harbour any sort of deep appreciation towards art, they didn’t sit and admire.

Therefore, Hyunjin loved revisiting exhibitions in the comfort of twilight. When the expositions were empty, he enjoyed revisiting them, taking his sweet time to admire each piece.

When he spotted a figure standing before his piece — his most vulnerable piece, he felt his heart drop. He watched from afar as this person observed the artwork, body as still as a mannequin. He had never witnessed someone admire a piece this intensely, especially with it being one of his pieces. He felt flattered, his heart swelling in pride and joy.

Silently, Hyunjin approached the figure. Usually, he was shy, not the type to approach people first but somehow, he felt the strong urge to this time. Fate was pulling him by his heartstrings.

“That’s my painting,” Hyunjin spoke, ensuring his voice was as soft as possible.

The sudden voice startled you. You whipped your head towards the source of the noise, eyes widened in shock. They widened even more at the sight before you.

Hyunjin’s breath hitched. His heartbeats escalated, taking in the figure standing in front of him. His fingers dug into the skin of his thumb, lips quivering. Brown doe eyes mirrored yours.

“Wh — what?” he spoke again, breathless. “Yn?”

A few steps were taken, inching closer towards you. His eyes scanned your face, lips quivering even more when he realized that it was you — you were real, and you were standing in front of him. You looked the same as you did three years ago, except more beautiful. How’d you get more beautiful? The passage of time had seemingly been good to you, the way it had carved your face into one Hyunjin could imagine himself filling his canvases with.

“Hyunjin,” you willed yourself to speak. You ignored the way your eyes watered. “It’s you.”

“It’s you, too. You’re here.”

Another few, brave steps were taken. You, on the other hand, didn’t move an inch.

“I hate you,” the words spilt past sanguine mouth before you could stop them, its venom contrasting the hushed tone of your voice. They crushed Hyunjin’s heart, though he knew he deserved them. “But I missed you.”

“I’m sorry,” was all that he could say. Hyunjin meant it. He really was sorry. He was sorry as he sent you back from the meadow, too cowardly to bid you goodbye. He was sorry when he packed his bags, stealing one of your sweatshirts for solace. He was sorry when he was on the plane, wishing he could turn back time. He was sorry when he painted numerous portraits of you. He was sorry as he stood before you, watching tears flow down your cheeks because it was the least he could do — a form of punishment for what he had done to you.

You shook your head, palms rushing towards your face to wipe away tears.

“It’s not enough, I know,” he mumbled, moving closer towards you to wipe your tears, like it was instinct, feeling his heart clench when you took steps back. “But I truly am sorry.”

“You didn’t even say goodbye,” you sobbed, vision blurry. “You didn’t even contact me.”

“I know, Yn, I know — I’m sorry. I wanted to call you, but I couldn’t,” he rambled, cupping your cheeks and rubbing on the skin. You allowed him to. “I swear, I wanted to write to you, but I was too embarrassed, and by the time I had enough courage it was already too late.”

Sobs wrestled their way past your lips, barely able to form coherent words. You kept shaking your head, blurting out the words you’ve kept for years.

“You just left me, Hyunjin — you left me. A day before my birthday,” your whimpers got louder, “I wanted to tell you I’m in love with you, on my birthday. Hell, three years later and I’m still in love with you.”

Hyunjin’s face paled. He had expected curses, and cries — but he hadn’t expected that. Anything, but that. His limbs moved before his brain could process things, lifting your chin to meet eyes. Your eyes were tinted with tears, but you were still beautiful. You’re always beautiful.

“What?” he squeezed your cheeks, “Yn, what?”

“You heard me. I’m not saying it again. It's fucking pathetic.”

“Fuck,” he exhaled. Hyunjin knew he was supposed to feel remorse, but God — his heart bloomed at the words you had whispered to him. You’re in love with him. You’re in love with him, the same way he was in love with you. “Fuck, Yn. You can't just say shit like that.”

Feather-like touches grazed your lips. There was a certain look in Hyunjin's eyes, one that you couldn't quite figure out — they were a look of longing. How could you know it was longing when you had never bear witness to them? You could feel his breath against your face, warm like his fingertips.

“You have no fucking idea how long I've been in love with you. You have no idea how much I missed you. Fuck, I think about you every fucking day,” he whispered, “You have no idea how much I regret getting on that plane.”

At that moment, all you could feel was Hyunjin. His deep, brown eyes staring into yours and his thumb pressing onto your lip.

“Kiss me,” you whispered back, “Kiss me, Hwang Hyunjin.”

And kiss you, he did. His lips crashed against yours with fervour, moving his lips to the same beat as his racing heart. You kissed back in the same manner, letting out the emotions you had bottled up.

I love you, I love you — each movement of his lips was a love confession, etching his adoration onto the curves of your lips. You caressed his cheeks akin to holding stars in your palms — careful, precious.

Finally, you pulled apart to catch your breaths, bodies heaving against each other.

“Please, give me a second chance.”

It’s odd the way human minds work, because at that very moment, you were reminded of Colette's words. Ones that mentioned a rumoured secret lover.

“But,” you felt silly for saying it, “Your secret lover?”

“My secret lover?” the boy's eyebrows furrowed. He then chuckled upon realization. The rumour must've spread to you. “Ah, that secret lover. It's you, idiot.”

He smiled. You didn’t think anyone could look as beautiful as he did.

“It's always been you.”

eleven.

“Careful — come on, get under here.”

Giggles echoed in the alleyways as two shadows lingered in the darkness of midnight. It was raining, the pavements darkening with wetness and the wind howling a sweet melody. At that particular hour, under the moonlight, Paris looked like the city of love.

You rushed out of the exposition hall, getting under Hyunjin’s leather jacket. He’d promised you the date of your lifetime that night, and he wasn’t one to break his promises.

Hyunjin’s back was damp from the rain, but it didn’t matter as long as not a droplet landed on your body. It only took a few minutes (and a lot of giggles in between) to reach Hyunjin’s so-called secret spot.

Streetlights shone on a bench, and clusters of flowers surrounded a little pond. The spot overlooked the city, you could see the city lights from all the way up here. You gasped in awe, it’s no wonder Hyunjin insisted on coming here.

“So beautiful,” you whispered. Hyunjin smiled softly, moving closer towards you on the bench and wrapped an arm around your waist.

While fondly looking at your visage, he muttered. “Yeah, it’s pretty.”

“How’d you find this place?”

“I found it while I was walking one night,” he explained, resting his head on yours. You could smell his shampoo in this closeness. “I was sad. This garden reminded me of the one we used to go to when we were kids.”

Your heart swelled at the confession.

“It does resemble that one a lot.”

The skies were still drizzling rain, but you were both a little sheltered much thanks to the oak tree above you. Only droplets dripped, falling onto your head but it was a nice sensation. Besides, you couldn’t feel the cold when you’re nuzzled in Hyunjin’s arm, blanketed in his familiar warmth. You allowed silence to third-wheel you, eyes busied with observing the sight. Silence was always comfortable with Hyunjin. The time spent apart hadn’t changed that.

He wouldn’t leave you alone, his skin constantly touching yours. It burned against you. You didn’t mind it. Instead, you basked in his love, listening to the sounds of his heartbeats as your head rested on his chest. He intertwined your fingers together, his thumb rubbing against yours. He wouldn’t let go of you, not even when he bent down to pluck a flower, slipping the daffodil onto your ear.

“I missed you,” he murmured. You weren’t sure how much he’d repeated that phrase but you liked it. “I truly did.”

For the thousandth time that night, you responded. “I missed you too.”

The conversation changed into one about your lives, catching up on each other’s shenanigans. It was comfortable, being with Hyunjin. Topics changed seamlessly. You didn’t have to put much effort into talking to him, you just had to be there.

Softly, his hands moved towards your feet, taking off one of your shoes. He held onto your ankle, tracing his pointer across your sole. You giggled, the feather-like touches tickled.

“You still have the feet of a ballerina.”

“Of course, silly,” you scoffed, “I am one after all.”

“I’m so glad that your dreams came true,” he whispered, putting your leg down. He cupped your cheek, showcasing a fond smile that stretched to his ears. “I’m really happy that you’re here.”

“Of course,” you repeated. “You told me you’d be wherever I am. It’s only fair I returned the favour.”

The words knocked out Hyunjin’s breath, and it filled his soul with so much adoration, he felt like he could burst. A pleading expression was written all over his porcelain visage, the way in which he squeezed your hand expressing his feelings even more.

“Please,” he pleaded. “I need to be yours.”

You kissed him, for the second time that night.

“I’m already yours, Hyunnie.”

twelve.

Things with Hyunjin had been going exceptionally well.

After the fated night, you carried on with so much happiness that you practically beamed everywhere you went. One time when you clocked into work, the Double C’s made kissy noises at you, and Charlotte had whispered, “You must’ve had crazy good sex last night.”

You couldn’t deny it, of course.

Date nights with Hyunjin happened thrice a week, with coffee runs in between classes. The Paris Ballet School and Beaux-Arts de Paris weren’t that far from each other, allowing you to sneak lunches together almost daily. Though you had to admit that even if the universities were far, Hyunjin definitely wouldn’t mind spending extra time just to see you. Sometimes, he’d watch you dance, and sometimes, you’d watch him paint.

It was like you were both making up for the lack of each other the past three years.

After just two weeks of your relationship, you were acquainted with the comfort of Hyunjin’s home. His roommate was barely home, so you felt comfortable with coming over often. Most weekends, you’d spend the night over.

Morning birds chirped a jolly ballad, waking you from your slumber. You stretched, feeling the heat of Hyunjin’s skin against yours. You couldn’t help the smile that grazed your face when you looked at him, fast asleep under the duvets beside you. Sleepily, you pressed a kiss onto his bare shoulder, then traced the memories of last night, tattooed on his skin in the form of bruises. It pulled a whine from him, moving under the duvet to press himself impossibly closer towards you.

“Flower,” he mumbled, morning voice husky, “I'm cold.”

“Then come cuddle.”

He did as told, wrapping strong arms around you. You felt his fingers ghost against your naked spine, sending heat straight to your core. You couldn't help the whimper that left you, earning a playful grin from your boyfriend.

“It's too early to get in the mood, no? Baby?”

Flushed, you smacked his arm. “Shut up.”

Hyunjin giggled, leaning towards you to press kisses onto your face. Mornings with him were often spent like this — limbs entangled, as if you were one.

“Need to shower, baby,” he sighed, “Have an exhibition today.”

To your dismay, he slowly pulled away from you, missing the warmth of his body.

“You coming to the exposition?”

“Of course,” you hummed. “Go shower. Can I borrow your laptop while you're in the shower?”

“Yeah, baby. The password's your birthday.”

He got up from the bed, and you flushed as you looked at his bare body. Unluckily for you, your boyfriend quickly noticed your flushed face, taking it as an opportunity to throw a pillow at you and call you a pervert. You rolled your eyes, watching him enter the bathroom before getting up, wrapping the duvet around your naked body.

You walked towards his study to retrieve his laptop, smiling at the artworks displayed on his peg board. One was of you — a painting of the Polaroid he took of you back in the meadow. The Polaroid itself sat at the back of his phone case. He had never taken it out since the first time he put it in back then.

Whilst humming to a melody, you kicked in the digits of your birthday. The laptop unlocked, showcasing the unclosed tabs.

Your eyes widened at the words written on the screen.

Congratulations, you've been chosen for a student exchange programme to Rome.

Your heart skipped a beat. Repeatedly, your eyes skimmed the words on the screen. You didn't mean to pry but you scrolled through the email, feeling your heart sink upon seeing the date it was sent.

Over a week ago.

Yet Hyunjin hadn't told you anything.

After all these years, he was still keeping secrets from you. You couldn't handle it, and so for the sake of your heart you exited the tab, and shut down the laptop. Careful as to not make much noise, you got dressed.

“Hyunjin,” you knocked on the bathroom door. “Need to be at the academy now. Bye.”

You needed to be away from him — you needed to clear your head.

thirteen.

You hadn't seen Hyunjin for a week.

The texts from him you didn't avoid, responding each time he sent a message. However, you'd been dodging his requests of meeting, under the guise of practice when in truth, you hadn’t gone for classes in a week. You spent your days moping in your apartment.

Perhaps it was a little childish of you to do, but you couldn't bear the thought of going through what you did before. You'd tasted a life without Hyunjin, and you were certain you didn't want to live through it again. This was your way of mentally preparing for that life again.

Your limbs lazily stretched across the cotton duvet as a vinyl played in the background. A melodramatic song played, matching the current tune of your heart. You weren't entirely sure what time it was, but the sound of the apartment bell ringing hinted that it was afternoon. It must be the takeout your roommate ordered.

“Reine,” a familiar voice reverberated in your apartment. “Where's Yn?”

“In her bedroom,” your roommate, Reine replied in her thick French accent. “She's been in there moping all week.”

Damn you, Reine.

Quickly, you buried yourself in your duvet, anticipating the footsteps which approached your room. Soon, your door swung open, and you could smell the white gardenia in his cologne.

“My flower,” his voice tempted you to look, “What’s going on, sweet girl?”

It didn’t help that each syllable that slipped past his lips felt like honey.

You felt his hands pull down your duvet before you came face to face with your boyfriend. He stood before you, hair slicked back and the white blouse he wore accentuated his shoulders. In his hands was a bouquet of flowers, patches of peonies and daffodils peeking from the wrapper.

You didn’t utter any words, simply looking at him with watery doe eyes. He didn’t miss the glint of tears, immediately setting the bouquet on your nightstand to get onto the bed. Tenderly, he pulled you onto his lap.

“You look so sad,” he mumbled, “Can my sweet girl please tell me why she’s so sad?”

Damn, him. How were you supposed to stand a chance when he was so ridiculously handsome and sweet?

Trembling, you parted your lips to speak.

“You’re hiding things from me.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What things, baby?”

Your eyes shot daggers at him, bottom lip forming into a pout. Hyunjin had to stop himself from leaning in and biting it.

“You got offered to an exchange student programme,” you finally bit the bullet. “You’re planning on keeping it a secret and just leaving me again, aren’t you?”

Ah.

Hyunjin’s eyes softened. He sighed, caressing your cheek in his hand. He shook his head as his free hand rested on your thigh, massaging the supple skin.

“No, I’m rejecting it,” he answered. “I didn’t tell you because I thought there was no point in telling you if I didn’t even want to go.”

“What?” you responded, voice a little higher than you intended it to be. Your eyes scanned his for any lies. “Hyunjin — it’s a good opportunity.”

“What, you don’t want me here anymore?” he joked, raising an eyebrow at you. “Baby, Paris is already enough for me. I don’t really want to move again.”

You nodded at his words. A huge part of you felt relieved — and you felt awful for feeling that way.

Love, sometimes, is about being selfish after all.

“Were you sad because you thought I was going?” your boyfriend queried, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

You shrugged. “A little. I was more mad that you didn’t tell me.”

“Oh,” he nodded, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret, I just didn’t mention it because it felt insignificant.”

“I want you to tell me things,” you mumbled, wrapping your arms around his neck. It left goosebumps in its wake. “I want to know these things.”

“Okay," he mumbled. Something about his compliance made you feel fonder of him. "I'll start telling you these things."

A sigh of relief left your lips. You had known Hyunjin for years, but being with him was different. A good kind of difference. It would take you a while to adjust to these changes — but it was the kind of changes you'd want to adjust to.

Hyunjin's fingers trailed to your hips, ghosting over your skin until they reached your thighs. He traced the stretch marks there, leaving goosebumps in its wake. You couldn't help the whine that left your mouth, and the heat that arose, tainting the tips of your ears in crimson. Hyunjin enjoyed this — flustering you with his ministrations. He allowed you to nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, whimpering as he felt your lips litter kisses on his most sensitive spots.

"I love you," he confessed, like honey dripping from lips. "Promise I'll be wherever you are."

taglist: @zoe8stay , @starlostseungmin , @starlostlaiba , @hwajin , @sleepyleeji , @skizzel-reblogs, @jdopes-recorder , @sherryblossom , @cb97whoree , @alyszaen , @aaliyahxsx , @jeonginsyoungestsibling , @hyunluvxo , @bokk-minnie , @ghostyycat7 , @fortunatelyhertragedy @yongbokkari @ameliesaysshoo @seoli-16 @jisungsdaydreamer @soobnny @seolboba @in2heartz @jehhskz @astraystayyh @mnwrld

#hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin

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peterparkoure · 22 hours

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if we ignore all the stuff that's gone wrong ive kind of had nothing but wins

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peterparkoure · 22 hours

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what if you’re giving birth to twins and it’s the end of daylights savings day and the older twin was born first but the second twin travels back in time and is born an hour before the first twin, would that be fucked up or what.

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peterparkoure · 1 day

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It's still kinda wild how Phineas and Ferb managed to completely hijack an idiom. Now whenever someone hears a sentence leading with "If I had a nickel for everytime [...]", odds are their brain auto fills with "I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice," rather than "I'd be rich," or "I could [action that requires purchasing something requiring an obscene amount of money]". Y'know, what the idiom originally was

#phineas and ferb

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peterparkoure · 1 day

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Tangled Earphones - [ Han Jisung ]

🩷 SYNOPSIS : Jisung doesn't remember the last time he had a crush but he does know that he definitely has a crush on you now, even though he's known you for less than an hour and hardly spoken ten sentences with you. He's never going to see you again after this but that doesn't stop him from falling head over heels for you. (part of valentines collab with @stayconnecteed )

GENRE : fluff, strangers to potential lovers

PAIRING : han jisung × fem!reader

CONTENT WARNING : mild cursing

WORD COUNT : 3K

This was probably the first time Jisung honestly hated his job. Well… maybe hate is a strong word. Sure, composing is fun, maybe a little frustrating — but he never hated it. Sometimes writer's block made him want to drive his head into a wall. But he never regretted becoming a composer. Okay, maybe he didn't hate composing. He hated the current artist he was working with. What a pain in the ass. Even though Jisung clearly told him he'd work on it after a few days, the guy seriously had no chill! Because of that, Jisung had to take a different bus to Tongyeong without his friends. A trip he'd been waiting anxiously for nearly a month. It was the first trip to finally make it out of their group chat.

His friends from college planned a week at the scenic town for a reunion since it had been a while since they've spent time together. Like the good old days. They would go on hikes, maybe relax at the beach and have fun. Jisung missed those days where the eight of them would live in a dorm and make ramen at three in the morning, their midnight car drives as soon as the oldest of their group, Chan, had gotten his license and taken them out. Jisung missed them so much. He's never been the same since then. Those guys changed his life. Then, it was never the same thing every day. Now… it was the same old routine — wake up, go to the studio, go back home and sleep. He was excited to find that small spark again with them.

But life didn't work that way for Jisung.

Luckily, there was an early morning bus and he managed to book the last seat available. Early morning meant a grumpy Jisung because he absolutely despised waking up before the sun did. In his opinion, it should've been illegal. It gave him flashbacks to college when his gym-crazy friend Changbin used to drag him to workout and strengthen his core. Why Jisung needed core strengthening when he was a music major student was still a question to him. It was still dark when he arrived at the bus depot. After enquiring about his ride, he had to go wait along with the rest of the passengers.

With his earphones blasting music, he waited on the cold metal benches for his bus to arrive with his leg bouncing anxiously, looking at all the texts in the group chat from all the other guys. It looked like they had a lot of fun since his phone was blowing up with blurry selfies and shaky videos of them. Jisung was typing a reply when he caught a whiff of lavender drift past him. His head shot up, only to be met with the back of a girl's head. For some strange reason, his heart sped up a little.

Then he caught a look at your face when you turned around as an employee spoke to you. Goddamn. His ears turned red as he continued staring at you. Even though he couldn't take his eyes off of your face, some part of him registered the ACDC shirt you were wearing over sweatpants and the beaded phone strap around your wrist as you waved your hands around while you spoke. He couldn't pull his eyes away until an announcement came over the speaker of his bus’ arrival. Between the clambering of the other passengers, Jisung lost you in the crowd.

With his duffle bag in hand, he made his way to the bus. In the outside air, his breath fogged out in front of him, his previous irritation of the early morning trip returning to him as he walked down the narrow aisle of the bus after the other talkative people eager to start their journey.

Jisung would've probably remained in a sour mood the entire four hour journey, earphones plugged in and staring out the window at the passing scenery if you hadn't gotten on the bus, immediately locking him in a trance again. Ba-dum. The lyrics of the song started to fade out, only the thumping of his heart rang in his ears as you drew closer and closer to where he was sitting. Could it be… that you were going to sit in the empty seat next to him? When you passed him, his chest deflated a little but you backtracked, looking at your phone and then at him. Your lips were moving, the pretty pink of your chapstick catching his eye as you said something, but he didn't hear anything.

Earphones!

He pulled them off, noise immediately filling his ears and he slightly cringed at it. “Your bag is in my seat.” You repeated for what it looked like the fourth time. His face burned red as he realized his overly packed duffle was indeed laying on your seat. Hastily muttering an apology, he got up and opened the overhead cabin to shove it up there, wishing he could do that to himself because clearly you noticed him staring at you like a creep. Once he got in his seat again, you sat down, your arm brushing against his, setting his skin on fire. “What were you listening to?” You asked softly, turning to him. Jisung stared at you blankly, feeling like a goldfish as his mouth opened and closed but no words came out. You chuckled. “You seemed so into it when I was speaking to you…”

“Chase Atlantic.” He managed to say, pushing his glasses back up as he looked at you. God you looked so much prettier up close.

Your eyes seemed to sparkle once he said that, a breathtaking grin forming on your face. He never ever wanted to erase that image from his mind. “Wow, I love Chase Atlantic too.”

“Really?” The normal Jisung seemed to be back in function because he was talking to her like he would with anybody else.

“Yeah.” You nodded. “They make up about ninety percent of my playlists along with Tate McRae and Kard.”

“Oh, I know Kard! They have that song uh…” He racked his brain. Don't make yourself a fool, Han Jisung. “Icky?”

“Yeah.” You nodded again.

The bus roared to life, pulling out of the bus depot and onto the road. The two of you fell into silence, the short-lived conversation about music artists died out. Jisung stared out the window, not knowing how to continue speaking with you in a way that didn't make him look like an absolute creep. Jisung wasn't a guy to like a person romantically very easily. He was quite reserved and valued the importance of his relationships with people. He wasn't one to go around and have one-night stands or flings because his heart didn't work like that. If Jisung loved, he would love with his mind, body and soul. He would place his heart in his hands, only to get hurt in the end because these days, no one seemed to want a heartfelt, serious relationship.

Plus, his job required him to spend most of his days hunched over a laptop in a dark room.

He doesn't remember the last time he had a crush but he does know that he definitely has a crush on you now, even though he's known you for less than an hour and hardly spoken ten sentences with you. You've caught him, with just a smile. A smile that Jisung was completely enamored with as he snuck glances at you every now and then as you texted someone. The darkness outside was actually helpful, he could see your reflection in the window. He didn't understand how it was possible for someone to look like a goddess wearing nothing but sweats and a t-shirt. You could probably make a trash bag the latest fashion trend.

The first hour of the ride was peaceful. Most of the passengers were asleep. He didn't dare sleep. No, if Jisung slept, he would drool and he would snore. He's had countless embarrassing stories from his friends and he'd rather not make a fool out of himself in front of you. Especially when he had to sit next to you for the entire bus ride. He took off his earphones to enjoy the quiet for a while, only to be met by soft humming coming from you. It looked like you were doing it unknowingly, your eyes focused on the book you were reading. Maybe you felt his gaze on you because you met his eyes, making him blush once again although this time, a pink hue overtook your own cheeks as well.

“Sorry, I didn't realize I was doing that.” You muttered apologetically, embarrassed that he had caught you humming to yourself.

“It's okay. I don't mind.” He tried to reassure you it was fine. When the awkwardness didn't seem to fade away, Jisung reached into the pockets of his black hoodie and pulled out a packet of watermelon flavored bubble gum. “Want some?” He asked, offering the open pack to you. You nodded, taking a strip and popping it into your mouth. Jisung followed suit and tucked the packet away into his pocket again. “Would it be awkward… if I asked for your name?” Can you not go three seconds without screwing up?

“It's Y/n.” You smiled at him, a genuine smile that eased his anxiety. When it came to you, he doubted every syllable the moment he uttered them. He was determined to make a good impression on you, though he may never see you again once these four hours were over. “What about you?”

“Jisung. Han Jisung.”

You repeated his name. It sounded so much better coming from your mouth. He'd record it and play it again and again for the rest of his life. Honestly, he could listen to you say anything and still love it. Your voice was like a soothing melody for him. A tranquil tune that placated the raging voices in his head. “Are you visiting family?”

“A reunion with my college friends. I haven't seen them in a long time, so I'm pretty excited about it.”

“That's sounds really nice. I'm visiting my brother. He's always too busy with work so I make it a plan to stay with him for a week when I can.”

“Is he older than you?”

“Mhm. He used to be such a prick when we were kids.” Jisung smiled at that. He too was used to sibling rivalry. His brother and him never really saw eye to eye until they entered adulthood. “Things are so different now that we barely see each other.”

Jisung quickly learned you were pretty easy to talk to. The way you spoke about the topic, the way your eyes seemed to shine in the rising sunlight that was seeping through the windows — Jisung was sure he missed a few paragraphs of your ongoing conversation, too captivated by your mere existence beside him. His heart was hammering painfully in his chest that was swelling with affection the more the two of you bonded.

When the bus stopped at a rest stop, you were eager to get up and walk around for a while, claiming that you've always hated sitting in one place for too long. Surrounded by trees and the highway in front of them, you sipped on the canned coffee he bought in the store for the two of you. He couldn't help but chuckle as you swung your legs back and forth on the picnic table top you were sitting on while he sat on the bench and looked up at you with the goofiest smile on his face. He was down bad and he knew it. How had you captured his heart so easily? And it wasn't like you were trying to. That was the beauty of it. You were merely being yourself and that was enough for Jisung to fall head over heels for you.

Jisung was going to make sure the tracks he was composing for that artist he was angry at earlier were his best works to date because if it weren't for that guy's impatience, he would've never met you.

“Shit… my earphones.” You nearly turned your handbag upside down when the two of you were back on the bus after stretching your legs.

“Did you lose them?” He asked, looking on the floor.

“No… I haven't used them all day. I think I left them at home.” You frowned.

Jisung had an idea. A terribly brilliant idea. This trick worked all the time in movies. If it could happen in movies, then Jisung could also make it happen in real life. “W-We could share mine? I-If you want t-to?” He stuttered out, fishing his forgotten earphones from his pocket, only to find them in the most tangled state he's ever seen them in. A blush grew on his face as he tried and miserably failed at untangling them.

“Let me try.” The simple contact of your fingers brushing against his hand sent jolts of electricity through his body. His gaze lingered on your delicate hands, the smoothness of you skin contrasted by the chipped purple nail polish on your fingernails and the single ring that adorned your left middle finger. You managed to untangle the earphones with ease. “And… if you're okay with sharing, then I don't mind either.” Maybe his brain was completely fried at this point, but he could've sworn you turned a little pink too.

“Cool! Uh, you can choose anything.” He opened Spotify on his phone and handed it to her.

Time flew by quicker than Jisung would've liked it to. His heart sank to his feet as they entered Tongyeong, the bus pulled up at the depot and stopped. He felt numb as people began deboarding the bus. All he could hear was his heart thumping in his chest. Was this it? The end to his little crush? It was highly unlikely he would ever see you again. Sadness was bubbling up inside him, clawing at his throat. He could barely choke out a goodbye as you left and hugged your brother who was waiting for you. Jisung's mind reeled at the intensity of the emotions he was feeling.

He couldn't get you out of his mind the entire week. Sure, he might have stalked you a little and found your Instagram handle, but it wasn't enough. He needed to see you. He needed to see the smile — face to face. He wanted to hear your laugh. He wanted to be the reason for your happiness. He wanted you. Because he liked you. The revelation made his brain hurt. He met you and fell in love with you within five hours. That had to be some kind of record right?

He tried to enjoy himself with his friends. But in every crowd, he was looking for your face. When they went hiking. At the beach. While wandering down the streets in the hot sun. All his efforts were in vain. It was like you never even existed. A fragment of his imagination. He was going delusional. The more time passed, the futher he believed it.

The bus ride home was going to be painful. Once he made sure his bag was secure in the overhead cabin, he slouched in his seat. When he reached for his earphones in his pocket, he found them in a tangled mess again.

“You know… you should start putting a rubber band on those.” His breath hitched. Ba-dum. Time slowed down as he looked up, only to be met with you, a knowing smile on your face as you sat down next to him. “Did you have fun on your reunion?”

His felt like a goldfish all over again. The connection from his mouth to his brain fried as he tried to give you a response that wasn't gibberish. “H-How?”

“What? Did you really think I was going to leave you behind like that?” His response only made your grin grow wider. “I was looking for you all around town, you know?”

“I was too…”

“Really? And here I thought you forgot me.” You chuckled.

“I don't think I could ever forget you.” He whispered, his heart going crazy in his chest as you leaned closer to his face. His throat dried up as he swallowed hard. Eyes unblinking, trying to calculate what you were going to say. “I think I like you Y/n.” He breathed out. “No... I know I like you.”

“I like you too.” You leaned even closer. “Now kiss me, stupid.” Let's just say Jisung was more than eager to oblige.

©hanjsquokka | copying, translating or republishing my work is strictly prohibited

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peterparkoure · 1 day

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A/N: Ngl, this was supposed to be a drabble… Anyway, I was listening to 2nd gen K-pop while listening to this, which is so counterintuitive because I was vibing to Gee while writing some of the craziest smut I’ve written in a while. Anyways, hope y’all enjoy <333 Answers 🥟 anon's request!

Minors don't interact, 18+

Pairing: Roomate Perv!Hyunjin x Perv!afab Reader

WC: 3k (oh!)

Warnings: Pervy reader and Jinnie, unprotected sex, m!masturbation, f!masturbation, use of vibrator, call reader names (whore, slut, good girl, ect…)

Your window cracked ever so slightly, allowing you to feel the spring breeze, but not enough to allow bugs and pollen to infiltrate your room. Your clock in the corner of your room was clicking away as the seconds passed. The only thing on your mind was what you were going to order for dinner. Before you could even shout out to your roommate, asking him what he wanted to eat, he barged into your room. The door ricocheted off the stopper causing you to look up.

“What do you want to eat Hwang?” you asked, turning around so your back was touching your bed. He knew it was your week to order food, but that wasn’t what he was here for. “Just get whatever, I’m not picky”

Before he could even continue, you cut him off, stopping him mid-sentence, his mouth hung open.

“Dude, last time you said that you threw a 45-minute tantrum of how ‘it wasn’t what you wanted’ and made me order a whole separate dish, only for you to eat mine because you were hungry and didn’t want to wait that long.”

“Hey, if you got it right the first time, we wouldn’t have been in that situation” he huffed, jumping on your bed, causing you to lift a bit.

He was wearing a black hoodie and some gray sweatpants, per usual. His new eyebrow piercing was right in your face as you turned to him. He chuckled, stealing your phone, and looking through the options to eat from.

Turning around so your breasts were pushed against your bed. They were slightly spilling out from your tanktop, but it was too warm to care. You didn’t understand how your friend wasn’t burning up in his outfit, but you didn’t care enough to ask.

“So, what are we getting to eat” you asked, trying to take your phone back from his grasp, but he stopped you.

Damn him and his weirdly long fingers that no man should have. “I was thinking, beer and chicken? It’s simple enough and we still have some cans left over so I won’t drain your bank account” he grinned.

You simply nodded, telling him to order it while you went to the bathroom. What you didn’t know was that wasn’t all Hyunjin did. A couple of weeks ago, when he asked to borrow your phone to send pictures of himself from a party the two of you attended with the rest of your friends, he saw pictures you took of yourself, in the cutest set he’s ever seen.

He knows that he constantly sees you in your short clothes all the time, but something about you wearing a pink lacy set had him weak in his knees. He came twice just thinking about it, the image burned into the back of his retinas.

He needed to see it again, so while you were doing your nighttime skincare routine, he went through your phone trying to find the photo. What he didn’t expect was there to be multiple angles and even multiple sets. He felt his cock harden in his pants, trying not to groan at the sight of you in barely anything.

He quickly took out his phone from his hoodie pocket, making sure that you weren’t out yet, and airdropped himself the photos, so there wasn’t any evidence of what he was doing.

He put his phone back in his pocket and exited out of your photos app just in time. You came out of the bathroom, your hair pushed back with a bunny hair band, whilst tossing one to him. “Come on, you know the drill” you giggled as he took off his hoodie, revealing his toned stomach and navel piercing.

He had gotten it with his eyebrow piercing after Jisung had dared him to. You were there for the entire thing, not expecting him to actually go through with it, but for some reason he did. It looked good though, so you weren’t going to complain.

He eventually put on the headband, after a minute of his dramatic sighs and protests. You knew he could never say no to you. You giggled at him, realizing how silly you both looked, but not complaining.

You pulled at him, trying to drag him off your bed so the two of you could watch a movie in the comfort of your living room.

The layout of your apartment was a bit off. Your rooms were right next to each other, and you both had your own bathrooms and walk-in closet. Which was nice, especially due to how much money the two of you spent on clothes.

Your living room was much smaller than others, connecting to your kitchen, but the two of you didn’t complain. It was homey and perfect for the two of you, and for the rest of your friends whenever they came over for your week’s movie night.

You both finally made it to the living room after Jinnie complained that “your bed is too comfortable” and “How am I supposed to leave if Sergent Bingo doesn’t want me to?”

You giggled at that, knowing how much he loved the stuffed animal that lived on your bed that he had won for you at the fair the first year of living together.

“I think he will live, plus we can bring him with us if it means so much to you!”

He just sighed as he got up, wrapping his arms around the stuffed bear and muttering about how Bingo didn’t appreciate being moved from his habitat.

“You are such a big baby” you giggled, sitting on the couch next to him, wrapping a blanket around your body as you attempted to find something for the two of you to watch.

“Am not”

“Are too”

Before he could rebuttal, the doorbell rang, causing you both to turn your heads. “Foods here” You got up, throwing the blanket at his face, laughing at his shocked expression.

You got the food from the delivery man, thanking him for walking up all the steps to your apartment. “What did you order again?” you yelled from the kitchen, getting paper plates and beer cans from the fridge.

“I got those cheese balls that you always fawn over, then just original and galbi because we both like that”

You got back to your seat, cracking open one of the cans of beer as the two of you began to watch a K-drama that Seungmin had recommended, Move To Heaven.

Two episodes in, and the two of you were sobbing, the food was gone, and the beers that were previously in your hands were splayed across the table.

“I can’t believe that happened to him, what did he do to deserve this?” you sobbed, hugged Hyunjin who was also on the verge of tears.

“I mean, who kills them off the first episode, like he did not need that happening to him” he said, hugging you back.

“I think that’s enough for today,” you said, wiping the tears off your face as you turned off the TV. Hyunjin threw away all the boxes and plates as you collected the blankets, folding them and putting them away in the storage closet next to the living room.

“Good night, sleep tight!” you said to Hyunjin as he began walking to his room. He bid you a good night as well, laughing at the way you were holding Sergent Bingo above your head as you entered your room.

Little did either of you know that you were in fact not sleeping tight.

You had taken out the vibrator your friend had gifted to you for your birthday, making sure it was fully charged before pressing it against your clit. It was small, but it did the job perfectly, always leaving you satisfied.

You usually never got off when Hyunjin was home, but you had been so pent up for the last month, that you just had to do something about it. You couldn’t wait any longer, you removed your shorts and underwear in one go and began to tease your slit.

You could feel the cool air hitting your legs and cunt, the small hairs on your legs sticking up at the sensation, but you ignored it, the only thing on your mind being Hyunjin.

The way he looked today, the way he smelt. You would think a grown man wearing a bunny headband couldn’t be hot, but you were wrong. The way he licked his fingers, trying to get the sauce off them, all you could imagine if that was how he would eat you out.

Would he suck on your clit like he did his fingers, how would they feel inside you? You thought back to his grey sweatpants, the way you could see the imprint of his dick against them, causing you to rub your thighs in front of him. You prayed that he didn’t see you, but if he did would he help you?

You could feel yourself getting wetter at every passing moment, your finger rubbing against your clit. It wasn’t enough though, you needed more stimulation or else you wouldn’t be able to get anywhere.

You turned on your vibrator, allowing the low hum of it to overtake your room. You began to slowly press it against your clit, low moans escaping your lips as you press it harder onto yourself. You tried to keep quiet, but it felt so fucking good, that you didn’t notice the moans escaping your lips.

But Hyunjin noticed, he could hear each moan escaping your lips. He was devouring each one like it was a hymn. He could feel his cock getting harder, straining against his boxers and sweats, it isn’t weird that he’s hearing you right?

If he just happens to jerk off right now, it wouldn’t be weird, right? He just happened to feel the need to get off at the same time as you. It wasn’t your moans that were making him this hard.

That’s what he kept telling himself as he pulled his cock out of his boxers and sweats. He began to languidly stroke his cock to the sounds of your moans, using the pre-cum leaking from his tip as lube.

He slowly pulled out his phone, looking at the pictures that he had airdropped himself earlier. Were you wearing the set you had in the picture, were you lying down like this, all pretty with your legs spread out just for him?

Would you be able to take his cock, or would you whine that it’s too much, how your tight little cunt couldn’t take it?

His body shivered as he could feel himself getting closer, but it all stopped when he heard another broken moan escape your lips.

“Jinnie-ah”

He couldn’t believe it, you weren’t moaning his name. It was just his imagination until he heard it again. The whimper that escaped your lips as you moaned out his name.

“Hyunjin, fuckkk”

His body went rigid, he quickly got up, dressed himself, and pressed his ear against your shared wall. He needed to hear you say his name again. He had to make sure it was his name you were moaning.

You couldn’t cum, it wasn’t enough, no matter how much you tried. You were so pent up, you needed to cum, but you just couldn’t, so you began crying. Tears streamed down your face as you tried to fuck yourself with your fingers as your vibrator was still attacking your clit, but it wasn’t enough.

That was til you heard your door creak open, there you saw Hyunjin. You tried to cover your body as fast as you could, but he didn’t let you, ripping your blanket off your body, leaving you in just your tank top.

“Such a fucking whore, moaning my name. You were just begging for me to hear you, right baby? Poor little thing can’t cum by herself, she needs my fingers, doesn’t she?”

You just nodded, no longer feeling ashamed, feeling the need to cum. “It’s okay baby, I’m here to help. Sometimes whores can’t get off by themselves, that’s why you need me”

He got on top of you, his knees pressed into your bed, trapping your thighs between them. He kissed your lips, nibbling at your bottom lip before moving his lips down to your neck, sucking at your skin.

“Who do you need baby?” he asked, removing his lips from your neck, running his finger against your slit, feeling how wet you were.

“Need you” you whined underneath him as his finger pressed against your clit. “Then why were you using this instead of coming to me?” he asked, holding up your vibrator.

“Is this better than me?” he asked, pressing his finger against your clit, causing you to moan. “Come on baby, you can’t be this dumb?” He asked you again, slapping your face slightly, sticking his thumb in your mouth, causing you to suck.

“It’s okay, I can make you cum like the whore you are” he chuckled before taking his finger out of your mouth and began to finger your hole. “Fuck you are so tight”

“Mhm, only for you Jinnie” you moaned as he began to thrust his fingers faster into you, adding another one. Your walls were clenching around him. “Look at you, so close to cumming. Can’t believe you were using this flimsy little thing. Should we see if it really works?”

Before you could even comprehend what was going on, he turned on your vibrator, pressing it against your clit.

“FUCK!” you moaned, you felt like you were so close to cumming, it only took Hyunjin another curl of his fingers in your cunt to make you cum around his fingers. Your body was convulsing around him, your thighs enclasping his hands.

“Ah ah, you are going to take my cock baby. Why do I think I prepped you? Moaning my name like the fucking slut you are. You are the one who caused this” he whispered into your ear while dragging your hand to his pants, allowing you to feel how hard his cock was for you.

He flipped you around while pulling down his own boxers and sweats, throwing them somewhere in your room. You took a look behind you to see his cock, and your jaw dropped. He was huge in length, not as much in girth, but his cock was so pretty.

His tip was pink and leaking precum while he had multiple veins running alongside his cock. “How is that going to fit?” you whimpered, “Don’t worry, I’ll make it fit baby.”

He slapped his cock on your ass before sliding the tip along your slit, causing you to moan. He lifted you by your hair, wrapping it around his hand, causing you to cry at the sharp sting. “Look at my cock baby, fuck, have never felt this fucking hard in my life. You are gonna make me feel good aren’t you baby? Going to take my cock like the good girl you are”

“Yes, gonna take your cock, gonna take it so well” you whimpered as he pushed the tip inside of you.

“Feels so good” you moaned as he let go of your hair, your head loling on the side of your pillow.

“Fuck baby, barely have the tip in and you are so fucking tight. Can’t wait til I make you mine”

He slowly began to thrust his cock into you, adding an inch at a time. But as your walls clenched around him, he lost all of his patience, thrusting his cock deep inside of you.

He slowly took his cock out of you, leaving only the tip in, only to thrust back into you with full force.

“You planned this didn’t you?” he asked, as he continued to pound into you. Your face was deep in your pillows, your voice muffled, so he yanked at your hair, causing you to moan.

“Speak when you are spoken you slut” he slapped your ass, causing you to moan. “You planned this didn’t you, the photos of you in your camera roll. You moaning my name so loud the entire floor could you”

“What if I did?” you said giggling. This only enraged him more, causing him to thrust into you faster. Your hair was still in his hand, your back arched against his chest. “Such a fucking whore, making me think I was a pervert when you orchestrated everything.”

“Just wanted you, are you that mad at me” you whimpered as he took one of his hands to rub your clit.

“I could never be mad at you baby, you know that” he kissed your neck before letting your hair go, your face falling back into the pillows. He lifted your hips a bit higher, causing you to scream out his name, which was fortunately muffled by the pillows underneath you.

“I can feel you baby,” he said, feeling the way your walls were clamping his cock “cum for me baby, cum on my cock and take my cum like you’ve always wanted to” he said, kissing your back.

That was all you needed to cum on his cock, he used one of his hands to muffle your screams, not wanting to wake everyone up. It didn’t end there though, he continued to rut into you, chasing his own high.

“Please Jinnie, too much can’t take it anymore” you whimpered underneath him, but that didn’t stop him. He needed to cum, he needed to mark you as his. “Fuck baby, you can take it, just a little more there we go”

He came with a moan, filling you up with cum and making you squirm underneath him. He kissed your lips before falling next to you, pushing the hair out of your face.

“I hope that was okay,” he said, looking at you a bit ashamed.

“Okay? That was amazing, I think that’s the hardest I’ve ever cum in my life” you said, kissing his lips. “The only thing I think is not okay is Sergent Bingo, his poor innocent eyes” which caused you both you laugh. You both wrapped your arms around one another, falling asleep in each other’s embrace.

2K notes · View notes

peterparkoure · 2 days

Text

This is so cute and hot!! I love it!

Always been there 🏡

pairing: the boy next door!Chan x afab!reader

warnings: alcohol, swearing, kissing, smut, some fluff too!

word count: 7.1k (wow.)

18+ Minors DNI

A/N: This took so long to get out, and I'm still not confident in it, I feel like it's kinda lame ngl. I don't know, I just feel like my writing hasn't been improving, but I can't expect to be a god-send after only writing for 4 months... Thank you so much for @quokkawritesarchive for looking at my draft for this, I truly appreciate it <3 I hope you guys like it!

smut warnings below the cut:

smut warnings: unprotected sex (please don't!), fingering, oral (fem receiving), consensual kissing, some nipple play, slight edging, male masturbation, cumming inside

You and Chris have been friends since you both were 5 and you moved into his neighborhood. Their parents had slowly become close friends with yours and invited your family over to their house for dinner. That was the first time you had ever met Chris.

You were hidden behind your parents, too scared to say anything. In front of you was a boy wearing a striped shirt and a grin. He ran up to you “Hi! My name is Chan” he grinned at you. Your parents forced you to say hi back, which you reluctantly did.

“Hi,” you said, still a bit scared. “What’s your name?” he asked, still excited. “It’s y/n” you whispered, still a bit afraid of him. “That’s such a pretty name!” he grinned at you.

Since they, you both were inseparable. Your parents thought it was cute, the both of you being so inseparable. When you guys were younger, you would have sleepovers in each other’s rooms. Your favorite one was when you both created a fort in your room and had Tim Tam slams, causing a mess all over the blankets, but it was so worth it.

As time went on, your parents didn’t let you have sleepovers, so instead you two bought walkie-talkies. Since both of your windows faced each other, whenever you wanted to talk, you would just flash a flashlight through the other’s window to signal each other to turn on their walkie-talkies. Your parents thought it was adorable, but you guys felt like spies on an undercover mission.

As you guys ventured onto middle school, Chan was participating a lot in swimming, wanting to fill in his father’s footsteps while you really got into art and painting. While he was always in the pool, you were always in your art studio working with different mediums trying to make something new.

You remember one specific day that you started working with clay, wanting to make a little wolf, because Chris reminded you of one, and he had come into the art room after swim practice.

“You are dripping wet” you groaned as Chan shook his head, causing water to spray everywhere. “You are no better than a wet dog.” you groaned, trying to hide your clay figure from his prying eyes.

“What’s up?” you asked him, taking a bit of the fruit that you had laid out while working. He stole a grape, popping it into his mouth. “I think I want to start pursuing music,” he said with an affirmative smile.

“That’s great Chan, I’m so excited for you!” you gleaned. “Yeah, I started picking up the guitar and vocal lessons, it’s been fun.”

“Channie, I’m so happy for you! Don’t forget about me when you get famous” you giggled. He ran over to you, trying to hug you. “I swear to god, you are still soaking wet, you are not about to hug me, or so help me.”

That didn’t stop him, he gave you a big squeeze, making your clothes damp and smell like chlorine. You felt the need to retaliate, throwing paint at him. It caused a game of cat and mouse to occur, you both chasing each other, until your art teacher came in putting an end to it. She yelled at both of you for acting so childish, but as soon as she left, the both of you erupted in a fit of laughter.

Laughing with Chris had always been so freeing to you. His laugh was infectious, and no matter where you were or what you were doing, it always spread onto you, As you both left the studio, you both ran to your mom’s car. “Y/N!” she yelled, startling you “Did you throw paint on Chan here?”

You and Chan just look at at each other, losing it and laughing again, causing your mom to laugh too.

It was the end of Year 8 and you and Chris were on the beach, enjoying the view. “I don’t know why we have to go to high school” you groaned, licking the popsicle in your hand. “We have to grow, plus, high school girls are hot.” He took your popsicle from your hand, sucking on it. “Gross Chris, you are too short for any high school girls anyway.” you giggled, stealing your popsicle back.

“Really?” he said starting to get up, you knew what was going to happen. You quickly got up, not having time to brush the sand off your clothes as you tried running away. “Come back here!” he yelled, causing you to giggle.

Before you could get out of your arm's reach, he caught you, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. “What’s next, are you going to call me weak too?” he just laughed. “Put me down Christopher Bhang Chan,” you said while hitting his back with your hands. “Wow, the full legal name, don’t you think that’s a bit too much?”

Before you could say anything, he threw you into the ocean, laughing in your face. “Oh, you are so done for!” Before he could react to what you had just said, you dragged him into the ocean with you, laughing at his shocked expression. You began splashing water on him, causing you both to have a water fight.

You never wanted this day to end, thankful that he was always by your side.

As you both finally ventured back to the beach, you told him to close his eyes. “What are you going to do? Because if you throw me back into the ocean, I’ll drown you so help me god.”

“Will you just shut up and open your hands?” you groaned, pulling out the little wolf charm you had made him, and placing it gently in his hands. “You can open your eyes now.”

He opened his eyes, looking down at his hands and grinning. “Omg, I love it, is this supposed to be me as a wolf? It’s so cute, you are so cute for thinking about me.”

You just grinned, happy that Chan really loved the little trinket you made him. “I also have something for you, it’s not that well thought out, but you know how I started learning the guitar?”

You just nodded, not sure where he was going with it. “Well, I got this little gift for you, it’s nothing much, but it’s my first pick on a necklace for you, just to remember how you supported me through everything.”

“Channie, I love it, I’m never going to take it off.” You turned around, the back of your neck facing him, “Can you put it on me please?” and he did so. You felt his still-damp hands run along your neck, tying the necklace. You turned around hugging him, “I’m never going to take this off” You grinned at him

“Promise we will always be like this?” he asked.

“I promise”

It was the summer of your sophomore year of college, and you and Chris had grown apart. You both still occasionally talked, but it was nothing like before. You never took off the necklace he gave you though, still trying to uphold your promise. It had become a part of you, knowing that, although the both of you didn’t talk, you still had each other's side, hopefully.

You were in two different crowds, Chan started taking his music much more seriously, while you were known as a goodie two shoes because you got good grades. It was because you guys went to a small high school, and unlike the rest of the people in your grade, you and your friends never found an appeal in drinking and getting high. That didn’t make you nerds, did it?

Your group consisted of Felix, your closest friend after he helped when you tripped and fell in front of the entirety of your homeroom class freshman year. He had extra pokèmon bandaids and helped fix the scrapes on your legs. Since then, you both are always next to each other, stuck to one another like glue.

The next was Seungmin, you guys had met sophomore year of high school, after you accidentally dropped a book on his head in the library. In your defense, you didn’t know that he was on the other side of the shelf. You ran to him apologizing, and from then on began talking since the both of you had a lot in common. With Seungmin came Jeongin. The two of them were like peas in a pod before meeting you, and nothing could separate them.

Jeongin was a year younger than the three of you, but he fit in perfectly. His older brother, Hyunjin, was part of Chris’s group. Chris was already popular due to him being on the swim team and constantly winning awards, the icing on the cake was when he started creating music in a group called 3racha. They got especially popular in your freshman year of college.

“Hey, what do you think about attending a party this weekend?” Seungmin asked. You were both home for summer break, you guys were playing Super Smash Bros in your room while Felix was downstairs getting snacks from your kitchen.

“Seungmin, are you sick? You out of all people want to go to a party?” you asked, taking a sip of your water. “Where are we going?” Felix asked, placing a bowl of grapes on your bed. “Jeongin’s house this weekend, his parents are out of town and Hyunjin’s hosting a party,” he said, popping a grape in his mouth.

“We should go, it would be fun” Felix grinned, grabbing the controller from Seungmin’s hands. “You know what, it would be. We could pregame at mine because my parents are still on their anniversary vacation” Your parents decided to treat themselves for their 30th anniversary and you were happy to have the house to yourself for a month.

“Okay, works with me!” Seungmin said before looking out your window to be met with a shirtless Chan. “Damn, that’s why you decided to keep your curtains open” he laughed. You looked up confused only to see Chan. Your face flushed a bright red as you ran over to shut your curtains.

“Aw, no need to be shy, he literally has the abs of a god,” Felix said looking down at his own stomach “Maybe I should ask him for some tips?” Before you could even say anything, Felix ran to your window, opening the curtains and window and screaming through the panel. “Hey, Chan!” he yelled, causing Chan to look up, a bit puzzled, and open his own window to hear him clearly.

“Can you start taking me to the gym, I need your abs!”

You could hear Chan’s laugh clear as day like it hadn’t been almost 4 years since you last heard it. “Yeah, dude! I’ll give you my number, one sec come outside”

Felix ran out of your room, opening the front door to meet up with Chan. “Do you think he did that just to get close to Changbin?” Seungmin questioned out loud.

That caused you to giggle out loud. Felix had been obsessed with Changbin since sophomore year when he started to get buff. It wasn’t a crush, but more like admiration for Felix. He just thought he was cool, but was too shy to befriend him even with his outgoing personality.

“This is all your fault Minnie” you said pinching his cheeks, causing him to roll his eyes at you.

“Shit, I have to go pick up my older sister from work, pre-game at your house tomorrow at 9?” he asked running out of your room, almost tripping trying to put on his shoes. “You are bringing the alcohol this time!” you yelled at the door as he ran out.

You decided to lie down on your bed and scroll on your phone while you waited for Felix to come back only to get a text from him

Brownie Boy!

What if I told you, I’m already at the gym with Chan…

You

I’m not even surprised…

You groaned, deciding to watch random YouTube videos on your laptop til you passed out since you had nothing else to do.

Three hours had passed and you had gone down a deep dive of paranormal videos. It was only 11:30 at night and you knew that you had to get up, but you were so scared. You kept hearing noises from downstairs, trying not to think much of it, you were still freaked out.

The best course of action would be to change into your pajamas and sleep and pray that there were no ghosts in your room. You were too scared to even leave your room so you decided to change, right there, in the middle. What you forgot was that your window was still open, and Chan had gotten home from the gym.

He had just gotten out of the shower, a towel on his waist, and his hair still a bit wet. He looked up to see his window still open, going to close it, he saw you. You were in just a bra and panties bending over to put on your tiny sleep shorts from freshman year of high school. He groaned watching you pull them over your ass.

You slowly unclasped your bra, the side of your tits on display for him as you pulled a camisole over your head covering your body. The necklace he had given you at the end of 8th grade lying between the valley of your breasts. He wished he had taken a picture, but before you could turn around to see your window still open, he quickly closed his curtains.

He lay on his bed, having the picture of you bent over engraved in his mind as he unraveled the towel from his waist. His already semi-hard cock resting against his thigh. He began to pump his hand around his cock, taking the pre-cum that was escaping from the tip of it and spreading it against his head.

He groaned thinking about you, his childhood best friend, wearing the necklace he gave you. He had claimed you as his, but you never noticed. Too oblivious to what he was trying to tell you. That was why he tried to move on in his sophomore year, trying to date any girl he could, but he could only think about you.

Your innocent eyes and willingness to help anyone and everyone. Are you still innocent or did you let another man put their dick in your sweet cunt. He groaned at the thought of your moans, how you would sound as he put his cock into you. How you would look with the necklace he gave you bouncing between your tits. You were such a good girl, but he wanted to ruin you and make you his.

He continued to stroke his cock faster at the thought of that. How good your tits would look covered in his cum. Would you suck his cock like a good girl? Would you let him cum inside of you or would you beg to take it in your mouth?

That was all Chan needed to cum into the palm of his hands. Fuck, he needed to shower again. He was back under the hot water, trying to calm himself down from his orgasm as he thought about you. After going to the gym with Felix today, he found out he wasn’t a threat. You and Felix were just friends, the same went for Seungmin. You thought of them as brothers and nothing more.

Do you still think about him? He knew that he stopped talking to you in 10th grade, but you stopped talking to him too, it wasn’t all him, was it?

He got into bed, boxers on in case anything happened, and stared at his ceiling thinking about you. If he had one more chance, he would take it.

You were getting ready at home while Seungmin and Felix were on your bed scrolling through their phones. “Oh Lix, how was your gym session with Chan?” Seungmin asked, turning on your bed to face him.

“It went good, but that dude doesn’t rest, like damn I felt like I was dying after our third set” he groaned, tossing his phone to the other side of your bed to pay attention to you.

He got up and came behind you, fixing your hair a bit as you were applying a coat of mascara to finish your look. “You look good, trying to get someone’s attention in particular?” he giggled before pinching your cheeks.

You just rolled your eyes at him as Seungmin finally looked up from his phone. “Wow, you don’t look like a slob for once” You threw one of your brushes at his face, causing a quick “Hey!” to escape from him.

You had finally finished getting ready, wearing a cute mini-skirt and a plain black top. You didn’t want to be too extra, but your outfit was cute and simple, just how you liked it, especially knowing how crazy Hyunjin’s parties get, you didn’t want to risk anything getting ruined.

You walked downstairs to see Seungmin on his phone while Felix was holding a shot out for you. “Let’s have fun tonight” he grins, throwing the shot back as his face turns into one of disgust.

Every time y’all drank, Felix would always be the first to black out. He wasn’t a lightweight per se, but he loved drinking a lot when he had the opportunity. Seungmin was the designated driver, so he wasn’t pre-gamming, but y’all were most likely going to stay at Jeongin’s anyway so he could still enjoy.

“Can we please get going before I turn 60?” Seungmin rolled his eyes, grabbing his keys off your kitchen counter. You just giggled at his impatience, not understanding his need to be there already.

“Hey old man, are you going to Hyunjin’s party?” Seungmin spoke up as you looked up to see who he was talking to.

You saw Chris getting in his car. He was wearing his usual all-black outfit, but instead of his usual beanie and sweatpants, he was wearing black jeans with a black shirt and silver chains adorning his neck. His hair was a bit curly, framing his face perfectly.

You loved it when Chan had his hair curly, but you couldn’t compliment him on it, especially after barely talking to him for the past 4 years.

“Oh yeah, do any of you need a ride?”

Before you could say no, Seungmin spoke up. “Actually, that would be great. I only have enough space for Felix and me, so if you could take y/n with you, that would be great!”

You glared at Seungmin confused, thinking he was lying. But he was right, his back seats were filled with camera supplies from earlier in the day. He told you he was practicing taking scenery pictures before coming to your house, so you thought he had taken them out before coming over, but he didn’t.

“Oh, that’s fine, hop in!”

You reluctantly agreed, walking across your driveway to Chan’s. You could feel your cheeks slightly blush with embarrassment, you didn’t want to be a burden.

“I promise you I haven’t had anything to drink, so don’t worry” You simply nodded, sitting in the passenger seat, watching Seungmin’s car leaving as Chan sat in the driver's seat.

“Thanks for taking me, I didn’t know Seungmin had so much stuff in the back seat of his car” you feebly said. You felt bad, you hadn’t talked more than 5 sentences to Chan in so long and now he was giving you a free ride.

“Don’t worry about it, what are neighbors for” he grinned at you, his signature smile warming your insides. “Plus, if you need a ride home, I’m your guy!”

“Aren’t you going to drink?” you asked as he backed up from his long driveway.

“I don’t drink, I just go to spend time with Bin and them” he chuckled a bit before putting the car in drive.

You simply nodded, looking down at his arm and grabbing the stick shift. He was much more muscular now, his veins prominent even in the dark. Before you could even think about what you were doing. You grabbed the necklace that he had given you when you were younger between your fingers.

“Wow, you still wear that?”

You looked up at him confused, not understanding what he was saying. “The necklace I gave you, you still wear it?”

“Oh, yeah, you asked me to never take it off, so I kept my promise”

He simply nodded, turning on the radio as you both fell into a comfortable silence. What you didn’t know was that Chan’s heart was racing.

Even after all this time, you didn’t want to break his promise. His heart swelled at the thought of how cute you were. He wanted to stop the car right there and then to tell you how he felt about you, but he couldn’t. He was too embarrassed, scared that you wouldn’t feel the same way, so he stayed silent.

It was another 5 minutes of silence til you arrived at Hyunjin and Jeongin’s house. The party was already in full swing, people spilling inside and out.

Chan parked the car on the street, and before you could even open the door yourself, he ran to your side and did it for you. You thought the sentiment was sweet, chuckling at his eagerness to open the door for you.

“Thanks” you grinned and he just nodded. You both entered the house to see people making out in the corner and red solo cups splayed across the floor. It wasn’t too loud that it was disrupting everyone on the street, but it was loud enough that you could barely hear Chan next to you telling you that he was going to go find Changbin.

You simply nodded trying to find your own friends. As you began to walk deeper into the house, you spotted Jeongin sporting ginger hair in the corner talking to Seungmin. You ran up to him, giving him the tightest hug known to man.

“Your hair!” you screamed trying to make sure he heard you above the music. “Do you like it?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at you and giggling.

You ran your hand through his hair, “I love it, it’s so you Innie”

He gleaned at your compliment, which caused Seungmin to sport a disgusted face. “Please stop flirting in front of me” Causing the both of you to look at Seungmin with a face of horror. “Ew,” you both said simultaneously, causing the both of you to erupt in giggles.

“We need to take shots before all the good alcohol is good” You took Jeongin’s and Seungmin’s hands and dragged them to the kitchen.

As you were pouring the three of you some shots, you looked up to see Felix and Changbin talking while Chan and Lee Know were standing next to them.

“Are my eyes deceiving me right now? I don’t think I’m that drunk, but is that Changbin and Felix and they are talking?”

Seungmin also looked up after taking a shot “Holy shit, he finally did it”

“Should we take a picture to commemorate this moment, or would that be weird?” you asked, pulling your phone out from the pocket of your skirt.

“Put the phone down” Jeonging laughed, taking it from your hands and holding it above your head laughing. You tried jumping up to get it from him, whining a bit in the process of retrieving it from his hands.

What you didn’t notice was Chan staring at you, chuckling to himself at your antics, which caused Lee Know to look at him weirdly. That was until he looked up to see what he was looking at.

“You are still pinning after her after all these years?” Lee Know asked, patting his friend’s back.

“I’m not pinning, I’m just laughing at them, she looks cute”

“Dude, you’ve been like this since 7th grade, don’t you think it’s time to move on?”

“I don’t think I can ever move on” Chan groaned, trying to look away from you. You were like his own personal drug, something that he knew he should look away from, but he physically couldn’t, you were addicting.

You were walking his way with your friends on your side and a drink in your hand. He fidgeted with his hands a bit, not knowing what to do, only to receive a “told you so” look from Lee Know.

“Hey guys!” you giggled, already feeling a bit tipsy from how much you had already drank. “What are you up to?”

Before Chan could even speak up, Hyunjin and Jisung had run up behind them. “Guys come on, they are playing truth or dare in the basement” pushing all of your friends to come with them.

You followed them downstairs, drink in your hand. There was a whole group of people in the basement all sitting in a circle. You plopped down in between Jeongin and Seungmin, your head resting on Jeongin.

“Okay guys, are we doing only three truths in a row?” Ryujin asked. Everyone nodded, beginning the game.

Lily was the first to start, spinning the bottle. It landed on San and he was forced to take his shirt off for the rest of the game, which no one was opposed to.

The game continued on like this for around an hour, the bottle had now landed on you again. “Truth or Dare?” Felix asked

“I choose dare” you grinned feeling a bit more confident with the alcohol flowing through your system. “I dare you to kiss” he pondered for a second, giggling at himself “Chan!” you simply shrugged, going up to Chan.

“May I?” you asked wanting to make sure he was comfortable with it. He simply nodded allowing you to kiss his lips. He thought it would last for longer, but it was only a quick peck.

The feeling of your lips caused his body to tingle, the sensation shocking his entire body, but he attempted to play it off as nonchalant even though his ears were beginning to turn a slight shade of red.

“Aw come on, that was barely a kiss” Felix groaned

“You never said how long” you teased at him, poking out your tongue

You guys had been going at it for hours, you still drinking along as the people playing began to fizzle out, leaving only a few of you guys playing.

You decided to get up, underestimating the amount you had drank. You had begun to stumble a bit, Chan quickly getting up to catch you. “Hey, why don’t we go home? You need to sober up”

You whined “It’s okay Seungmin can take me, you don’t need to” He simply shook his head and pointed you in Seungmin’s direction. He was asleep on Jeongin’s shoulder a light snore leaving his mouth causing you to giggle.

“He looks just like a puppy” You tried to walk over to squish his face only to be stopped by Chris. “You can play with him tomorrow sweetheart, why don’t we get you home first?”

You simply nodded, feeling your cheeks redden when he called you sweetheart. He walked you up the stairs of the basement to be met with Changbin and Felix sitting on the couch in the living room talking about some show.

“I’m taking her home, she’s had quite a lot to drink, text me if you need anything”

They looked up at Chan, simply nodding and going back to their conversation.

Chan took you to his car, opening the passenger side only to be met with your face inches away from yours as he put you into the seat. “You know Chris”

“What do I know?” he asked a bit teasingly

“You are really hot, and I’m not saying that because I’ve known you for so long, I’m saying that as a fact”

He just chuckled, “Sweetheart, why don’t you tell me in the morning, when you are sober”

You just hummed in response as he walked around the car into his own seat, turning on the music and opening the windows so the cool air could hit you as you drove.

When he finally reached your house, Chan asked you where your keys were and you simply shrugged in response.

“Come on, don’t you want to be comfortable, in your bed, in your pajamas? Now, where is the key?”

“Don’t wanna go home, there are ghosts” you whispered to him as you looked around to see if they heard you.

“Now come on, there are no such things as ghosts, please it’s freezing and I want to make sure you don’t get cold in this short skirt of yours”

“Nope, you can’t make me” you giggled. Chan gave up, throwing you over his shoulder, causing you to scream.

“You need to be quiet, or else you will wake up the ghosts,” he said playfully. That was all you needed to shut up. He opened the door to his house, grateful that his family was on a camping trip so they wouldn’t question anything that was happening.

He took you to his room, placing you on his bed. “Cold” you whispered and he went into his closet finding some clothes from high school that might fit you. Before he could even give them to you, you had already stripped down to your bra and panties.

He quickly turned around, trying to cover his eyes. As much as he wanted to see you in nothing on his bed, you were drunk, and he was sure as hell not going to take advantage of you. “Here, put these on” he tossed his clothes to you, allowing you to put them on.

“These are comfy” you sighed, which gave him confirmation to turn around and look at you. You were on his bed, in his clothes, and he wanted to groan.

“I’ll be back, stay here okay?” you just nodded, playing at the drawstrings of his hoodie. He quickly went downstairs, getting two bottles of water and some painkillers for the headache you were sure to have in the morning. He also rummaged through his mom’s drawers in hopes of finding makeup wipes.

He came back to his room to see you lying on his bed, head in his pillows. “Hey, let me take your makeup off okay?”

You got up, simply nodding, allowing him to take off the makeup that was on your face. Each swipe was tentative and gentle, allowing you to feel his hands run across your face. When he finished, he was slowly getting up, but you didn’t let him.

You grabbed his wrists, not wanting him to go. “Please, stay with me, for old time's sake?”

He nodded, telling you to wait a minute as he went to go change. You simply nodded, waiting for him to come into his bed with you. His scent was engulfing you, every pore in your body was covered with him. He finally came into the bed with a black t-shirt and basketball shorts covering his body.

You wrapped your arms around his body, hugging him like a koala bear, your legs lying on top of his. “You know Channie, it was a really good kiss, even though it was so short” you mumbled into his chest.

“Yeah?” he asked, wrapping his arms around you.

“Yeah, I hope we can do it again” you sighed, falling asleep in his arms.

You woke up discombobulated, your head throbbing. You took in the room around you, one that you knew well, but it wasn’t yours. The wolf figurine you had made him in the corner confirmed it. You were in Chris’s room.

You slowly began to recollect everything that happened last night. The getting drunk, the game of truth or dare, the kissing Chan, then confessing to him that you wanted to do it again.

You had made such a fool of yourself, you groaned into your hands embarrassed, slowly falling back into the bed. You were met with Chan’s voice near you. “Here drink this” he passed you two painkillers and a bottle of water that you happily took.

“You okay?” he asked. He was next to the bed, his shirt off and sweat dripping from his body. “Wait fuck” he quickly threw on a shirt, trying to appear decent in front of you.

“Yeah, I feel much better” you groaned, taking another healthy gulp of water. He sat down on the bed, it dipping under his weight as he sat next to you. “Why don’t you go home and take a shower, I’ll make you some food and bring it over okay?”

You just nodded, wanting to get into your own pajamas even though Chan’s were extremely comfortable. You walked over to your house, quickly running to your room embarrassed. You checked your phone to see if you had gotten any texts, but you hadn’t received anything, what could you expect from your friends when it was eight in the morning?

You wanted to curl up and die, how could you do that to Chan? Not to mention telling him you wanted to kiss him again. The kissing part wasn’t a lie, but it was just so embarrassing. You went to shower, hoping the heat from it could help relax you just enough that you didn’t make a fool of yourself in front of him again.

When you got out, you were greeted with a ring of your doorbell. You quickly made your way downstairs, to see Chan with wet hair and a box of donuts in one hand and coffee in the other hand.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” you asked, quickly snatching the food from his hands and allowing him to enter your house.

“Hmm, I do recall sometimes that you did” he giggled, coming in. “Wow, this place hasn’t changed at all” he whistled taking in your house. Pictures of you as a kid, leading up to your teen years littered the walls. Pictures of family vacations, even pictures of Chan were still around the house.

If you want to see something that hasn’t changed at all, you should see my room. You grabbed his hand, leading him up the stairs to your room. It wasn’t that cluttered, only some makeup from yesterday littered on your dresser.

“Wow, you weren’t joking, it still looks like a unicorn threw up all over your room” you just giggled, allowing him to take in the paintings that you had made over the years. “You’ve improved so much,” he said, running his fingers across the paintings.

“So have you” you grinned, causing him to look at you and cock his head to the side. “Your music, I’ve listened to all of your songs”

He rubbed the back of his neck embarrassed. “Oh, I didn’t think you did”

“Of course I did, I told you I would support you no matter what! It is kind of sad though, you did forget about me as you became famous” you teased.

He came closer to you, the back of your knees hitting your mattress. “I would never forget you sweetheart”

Before you could even register what you were doing, your lips attacked his, causing him to groan in your mouth.

You pulled him onto your bed, flipping the both of you around so you were on top of him straddling him. “Baby, are you sure, I’ve wanted to kiss you for years, but I want to make sure you are sure”

“I’m as sure as I will ever be Channie, please just want you”

Chan felt like he died and went to heaven. Your lips resumed to crash against his, it was the perfect mix of lust and love. He wanted to devour you, but make you feel like how he felt about you. How you were the only one in the world for him.

As the kiss turned more intense, you began to grind on his crotch, trying to get any sort of friction. A moan escaped your lips as your clit rubbed against his hardening cock at the perfect angle. He took this as an opportunity to place his tongue in your mouth, trying to devour you whole as you continued to grind on him.

“Fuck baby” he pulled away, “you are so good for me”

Before you could do anything, he flipped you around, your head hitting your pillows as he slowly pulled down your tank top revealing your breast and the necklace he had given you years ago. You forgot you weren’t wearing a bra, giving him full access to your tits. He groaned at the sight, taking one in his hand while kissing the other. He licked your nipple, causing you to moan.

“Channie, fuck.” He looked up at you, admiring the way you already looked fucked out and he had barely touched you. “Feels that good?” he asked, and you nodded as he continued to attack your breast.

He took his knee and slowly ground it into your cunt, trying to give you some sort of stimulation as he moved on to the other breast. You were a whimpering mess underneath him. “Please need more” you whined.

He looked up at you and chuckled. “Is my knee not enough? Does my slutty little baby need my fingers?”

“Yes please sir, need your fingers” he moaned at you calling him sir. He slowly began kissing down your stomach to your thighs, his pillow lips feathering kissing close to where you wanted him, but he still felt far away.

“Please sir, will be a good girl, just want your fingers” you whined, you needed some sort of stimulation and he wasn’t giving it to you.

“Good girls don’t complain,” he said sternly, lightly slapping your thighs. “I know it’s bad to play with your food,” he said while pulling down your shorts and underwear in one swipe “but you will be a good girl and let me right?”

You nodded as he began to trace his wetness between your folds. “Wow, my baby is so wet. Is this all for me? You want me to fuck you this bad?”

“Yes sir, please I need it so bad” you whispered. He slowly inserted a finger into you as he moved down kissing your thighs once again.

Chan felt like he could cum just like this. You were so wet for him, that he felt like he was gonna go crazy. He slowly moved up to your clit, pressing a wet kiss to it as he continued to add another finger to stretch you out for his cock.

Your moans were becoming more fervent, your hand latching to his hair as he began to eat you like a man starved. The only thing on his mind was making you feel good, making you cum with just his fingers and his mouth.

He began to lap at your hole as he continued to finger you, trying to taste all your juices. It wasn’t until he hit that one spot inside of you and hummed his lips against your clit that you felt like you were about to cum.

You were about to cum, your walls clenching around his fingers, your high almost there when he pulled out of you.

“Channie!” you whined, the loss of his fingers caused you to whine, you were so close and he had ripped that pleasure away from you in seconds.

“The only way you are cumming is on my cock baby” He pulled his cock out of his boxers, the tip hitting his stomach causing you to go wide-eyed.

You have had sex before, but never with a cock that big. “Now baby, where are your condoms?”

“Don’t want to use one” You looked up at him with your doe eyes and he swore he had just cum.

“I mean, I’m on the pill and I’m clean and I trust you, and I just want you to fill me up” you babbled on.

“Fuck baby, it’s like you are trying to kill me” he groaned. “Want you to ride me okay? So you can take as much of my cock as you want or can. Can you do that for me baby?”

You simply nodded, getting up from the pillows and aligning the tip of his cock with your cunt. As you ran his head, which was leaking pre-cum, you both groaned at the sensation. You slowly began to push his cock inside of you.

You felt so full from only the tip, the girth of his cock being too much. You moaned when you got his cock halfway inside of you, slowly bouncing up and down until you fit the entire thing inside of you, causing you both to groan.

He watched his cock slowly go all the way inside of you as you began to ride him. You moaned as you felt him hit a particularly deep spot inside of you.

“Always been mine haven’t you been baby?”

“Yes Channie” you moaned as he watched the necklace bounce up and down as you continued to ride him, trying to chase your high.

“Fuck baby, you even wore my necklace to show it off,” he said while wrapping the necklace around his hand, pushing his hips to meet your pace.

That was all you needed to cum on his cock, he was right behind you. The clench of your cunt around his cock was all he needed to cover your walls in his cum.

You both fell back onto your bed, his softening cock still inside of you as you began to kiss his lips once again.

“I hope you know I’m always there for you baby,” he said while kissing the crown of your forehead. You just hummed in response, wrapping your arms around him. You weren’t going to let him go now that you had him after all these years.

#bang chan x reader

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peterparkoure · 2 days

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Stone faced and barely moving in the club.

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peterparkoure · 2 days

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peterparkoure · 3 days

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-when skz sends selfies- ⋆·˚ ༘ *

✿ ( genre⠀ ) … skz ot8 x gn reader, fake texts, suggestive

𝜗𝜚 ( warnings⠀ ) … cursing, sexual content

☆ ( word count⠀ ) … 8 images

…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………

bang chan + leeknow

changbin + hyunjin

jisung + felix

seungmin + jeongin

…………………………………………..……………………………………………………………….

stars4ni ©

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peterparkoure · 8 days

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-`♡´ - APARTMENT 143

pairing -> lee minho x fem reader

synopsis -> after a bad breakup, y/n needs to find a new place to live. although she's grateful for her best friend, up-and-coming model hwang hyunjin, for letting her stay at his, she can't keep living with him and his model roommates. so when an opening for somewhere nearby with cheap rent opens up, she jumps on it, despite knowing next to nothing about the 3 other tenants, only that one owns 3 cats. the three quickly learn of her breakup, determined to help get her back on her feet. but what happens when one of them begins to develop feelings?

warnings -> gen

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE -> I MISS YOU

notes -> just a reminder the taglist will be closing on chaper 25

taglist -> @chaeryred @toplinelix @channie-143 @staysinbloom @puppyminnnie @tfshouldidohere @kangaracha @chlodavids @whitney190 @thisisnotjacinta @borahae-reads @brooklynie @gini143 @kayleigh-28 @skz-streamer @babyphotos0325 @scallywag1299 @venusmoonxnight @naomisosoup @fertiliezedtoesw @s00buwu @realrintaro @anothershorthuman @stayatinykatsy @ilovejeongin007 @btswestan @multifandomedsimp @ihrtlix @raehawthorne @euphoric-univers @catchingskzzzs @evermourning @satsuri3su @jazziwritesthings @minhwa @wyzminho @fic-for-readers @dreamerwasfound @imsiriuslyreal @lailac13 @palindrome969 @lixie-phoria @aalexyuuuhm @sunflowerbebe07 @st4rhwa @lukeys-giggle @jabmastersupriseee @judeduartewannabe @gaysontheprince @stepout-09-15

reply or send an ask to be added (18+)^^^ orange means i can't tag you

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peterparkoure · 8 days

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SKZ!Fake Texts: He Calls You Clingy(Maknae Line)

Part 2 Part 3 Hyung Line

Jisung:

Felix:

Seungmin:

Jeongin:

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peterparkoure · 8 days

Note

Hello ☺️

Would you be willing to write skz as jealous best friends. I’m a sucker for the jealous friends accidentally confessing their feelings by getting upset that someone else is encroaching on their best friend/crush.

Love your writing/smaus ❤️

BFF!SKZ getting jealous and confessing

A/n: lol speaking from personal experience, its crazy when you realize you're in love w your bestie bc you're friend jealous. Sometimes it works out tho! You should always be w your best friend.

Warnings: none really aside from swearing and maybe innie's is a tiny bit toxic if you squint.

Masterlist

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peterparkoure · 9 days

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Love it!!

SECRET SECRET — [18+!]

Chan sighs, “What if… one day, being just friends with you… isn’t enough for me anymore?”

“When will one day be?”

He blinks. Maybe there’s a chance for a happy ending. Maybe.

“It’s been for a few years,” he confesses.

🎸 SYNOPSIS: In order to get rid off the ridiculous crush you have on your best friend Chan, you decide to project all those feelings on an unreachable celebrity, rockstar CB97, instead to protect your stupid heart. But little do you know that these two guys might be closer than expected. When you get invited by 3RACHA’s company to edit their newest music video, suspicions finally pop up in your head.

🎤 CONTENT INFO: chan x afab reader, rockstar chan, video editor reader, smut/fluff/tiniest bit of angst, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, idiots to lovers, reader is a 3RACHA simp especially for CB97 but doesn’t know it’s chan, jisung being president of baboracha (once again), part of the TOPLINE universe but can be read as a standalone, warnings and smut tags under the cut

🎫 WORD COUNT: 9.3K

📷 CONTENT WARNING: mention of obsessive fans/sasaengs and the dangers that come with being a public figure, lying and keeping secrets

⛓️ SMUT: dom/sub dynamics, protected sex, corruption kink, praise, reader gets called baby, good girl, sweetheart etc.

The characters do not portray any of the skz members in real life, the names are just used for fiction. Minors do not interact, this post contains mature topics. By reading you consent to nsfw content and agree that you have read all the warnings above carefully.

You let your bag sink down next to your chair, after placing your hot tea on the table. It’s always so calm in the morning, going to the office. Maybe that’s why you’ve chosen to start working in the earlier hours these past weeks. It helps you focus, keeps you calm before the building gets filled with busy people.

Your job is great. You love it—it’s everything you’ve ever wanted. After having relatives and friends trying to keep you from studying something creative, telling you to get a stable job instead—whatever that is in this economy—you’ve always stuck to your plans and dreams. And now you’re here—working as a video editor for a big company.

It’s fun. It really is. Your job is great. Mostly. Rather in theory. Unfortunately, it’s a bit different in reality, you’ve learnt that over the years. Sure, you’re still doing creative things but you have to stay focused on what customers want and most of them have a very specific vision.

Just like right now, you’re editing a few more scenes of an artist that just debuted and went through the roof with their album. But it’s not your type of music. You’ve always wanted to produce videos that are cinema worthy, that are their own special movie, that tell a story even if you turn off the melody of the song they’re portraying.

But this hasn’t happened so far.

Until you, still busy in your office, receive a mail from your boss.

Date: 01/12/23 Artist: 3RACHA Song: Gemstone

Fuck. You have to sit down for a bit. But you’re already seated. Your head gets dizzy, vision blurry. Overwhelming thoughts are streaming through your system.

3RACHA. Fucking 3RACHA. The indie band you’ve been listening to for over a year now. One could say that they gained success pretty quickly although that’s not right. They worked hard for what they are today and have improved themselves a lot in less than eighteen months.

Shit. You’re usually not a big fangirl. Well, that is wrong. You are. Everyone is. You are to a healthy amount—at least you believe so. Your friends might contradict that, especially when it’s about your affection to 3RACHA.

But they’ve helped you so much. Their lyrics warmth you on the coldest days, their tunes made you find a light in the dark and their overall personality—from what you know as a fan—made you feel confident throughout times that were filled with lots of insecurities.

And you have the chance to meet them. You can’t believe this is happening. You pinch yourself and realise it’s not a dream. You’re so shocked, you can’t even let out a little scream, although a bright smile is plastered all over your face.

You should text your best friend first. Tell him about it. He’s not the biggest fan of the band—which you can’t understand at all—but he’s happy when you’re happy so you’re sure he will be almost as excited as you are.

Grabbing your phone that’s lying next to your tea on the table, you open the messenger app and start typing.

[You 07:48]: YOU WON’T BELIEVE IT!!

[You 07:48]: I am actually losing my mind wtf

[You 07:48] Oh Lord I think I am hyperventilating shiiiit 😭😭

The three little dots appear and stay there for a while until you get a reply.

[Channie 🦘 07:49]: First of all, good morning. Second of all, I’m fine Y/N, thank you. How are you? Third of all, Jesus Christ, learn how to send one single message with multiple sentences it’s not that hard 😭

You can’t hold back a giggle. That is so typically him.

[You 07:50]: I’m sorry bub :((( didn’t want to upset you

Usually, Chan isn’t annoyed about stuff like this. But you’re still sorry you overwhelmed him a bit. You totally forgot how fucking early it is.

[Channie 🦘 07:52]: You didn’t, don’t worry, baby ❤️ so, do you want to tell me why you texted me?

Okay. Good. Well, except for the pet name that always manages to make your knees go weak. But now that you made sure everything is fine, you can finally drop the best announcement of the whole century. With one message, though.

[You 07:53] I am going to edit the video of the newest song of the one and only 3RACHA!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT CHANNIE 😩🫠🥵🥵

Chan starts typing. He stops. He goes offline. Weird. You don’t read too much into it, as you check the mail another time. December 1st is already tomorrow. You wonder if someone else ditched them and you're solely the replacement but you don’t care.

A vibrating sound coming from your phone lets you snap your gaze back to the screen.

[Channie 🦘 07:56]: Oh that’s cool

Wow. No comment. You know he’s not quite convinced when it comes to your favourite artist. But Chan knows how much you love the band. Can’t he at least pretend to care a little more?

Well, he does care. That was a bit unfair. Chan is your number one hype man. Which makes his current reaction a bit odd.

However, you still send the text you typed.

[You 07:57]: Cool??? COOL?? BRO i’m gonna meet fucking CB97 !!! HELLO?? A little more excitement please

He takes a little longer with replying again, so you focus on your work in front of you. You can’t believe it’s already happening tomorrow. Your favourite band. A new song they are about to publish. This is crazy.

[Channie 🦘 07:59]: I’ve told you before I am not their biggest fan

You sigh, leaning back in your seat, before you reply.

[You 08:00]: Yeah because you have no taste old man

[You 08:00]: You remember what him being shirtless for like 1 sec in their last MV did to me?? How am I supposed to survive meeting him irl 😩😩😩

Most of the time, Chan doesn’t react to you simping for your favourite one of the group. Perhaps, because he’s not interested in them. Or he doesn’t like fangirling or you fangirling.

But this is just you drowning in your own pathetic delusion. Simping for a bassist and singer is one thing, having hopeless feelings for the man you’re texting right now is a whole other world.

Yeah. It’s a cliché, really. You don’t even know when it happened but it did. But of course you had to fall in love with none other than Chan.

CB97 kind of reminds you of your best friend. It’s dumb, you know that. It’s just something about their general behaviour. Even their voices sound alike—from what you can tell, after all, the artist always wears a wolf's mask and no one knows what the members look underneath their face covers anyway.

However, they are similar. So, it’s always been easy to compensate for your real life feelings by having heart eyes for a famous person. It has helped you so far—by ignoring how your friend’s presence lets your pulse rush at the speed of light.

And maybe, just maybe, your feelings are the reason you've been crushing on the celebrity, in order to get over Chan instead, since 3RACHA’s leader can’t break your heart if he doesn’t even know you exist.

[Channie 🦘 08:01]: … 🤨

[Channie 🦘 08:02]: I am very happy for you though, Y/N ❤️ This is a great chance and I bet it’s gonna be amazing!

You sigh again. He’s trying his best and you don’t blame him. You know that he means it and that’s what you love the most about your best friend—he will always support any of your choices.

Well, maybe not the one that’s included in your following text…

[You 08:03]: not wanting to sound delusional but i’m praying a little for my personal Y/N-moment 🥰🥰 maybe he will fall in love with me 🤩

He goes offline then and you wonder if you’ve crossed a line. You dearly hope he can tell you aren’t being serious.

Or, are you?

[Channie 🦘 08:05]: [attached image]

You open the file, almost falling down the chair while laughing.

[You 08:06]: Did you just send me a Stock photo of grass???

[Channie 🦘 08:07]: Yeah, go touch it, you sound like a crazy person

Understandable. Why’s he so funny without even trying?

Oh, God. Y/N. Focus. It’s not the best combination—CB97 simping hours mixed together with you crushing on Chan.

[You 08:07]: … yeah i deserved that

It’s time to focus on work again. However, that is supposed to be possible. You’ll probably be unable to even fall asleep tonight.

[You 08:08]: Anyway, I’m gonna go back to editing.. love youuu 💕💕

Your phone vibrates another time and you quickly read your best friend’s message before you lay the device aside and direct your gaze to the screen in front of you.

[Channie 🦘08:08]: Love you too baby ❤️

🎸

The next day arrives faster than you would have expected. Between all the piled up working that’s always occuring during the last month of the year and all the other errands you have to run—such as shopping Christmas presents or preparing your apartment for all the upcoming festive dinners with friends and family—it’s understandable that time seems to fly by.

With another tea in one of your hands, phone in the other and your bag over your shoulder, you’ve made it out the subway station, currently on your way to the building of 3RACHA’s company. Shit. Your heart seems to be pumping out of your chest and you realise now you should have opted for a caffeine free drink.

Nevertheless, you walk inside and towards the reception. The woman there tells you to sit in the waiting room and you do as you’re told, sinking down on one of those velvety chairs. You pick out your phone, realising you’re more than twenty minutes too early here. But better than being late, right?

Fuck. You’re feel like you’re hyperventilating again. Your palms are sweaty and your knees are weak, a typical sign of nervousness spreading all over your body. You can feel your pulse rushing through your system, as you try to push away all those negative thoughts about the upcoming meeting.

What if they’re not as kind as they seem to be in all those interviews you’ve watched? Don’t people say you should never meet your idol? What if they’re right?

Or worse—what if 3RACHA is actually as awesome as they seem to be and they think you're not cool? Or annoying? Or too much?

Oh, God. Calm down, Y/N. It’s gonna be fine. No doubt.

You decide to text Chan now, knowing he always manages to use the fitting words in situations like these. No matter if it is pure comfort or finding a solution together, your best friend always knows what to say to help you out of a rollercoaster ride of emotions.

So, you send him a message.

[You 12:37]: Channie… I am so nervous. What do I do?? What if they think I am annoying or stupid…

Another one follows, although you know he doesn’t like this type of texting.

[You 12:38]: I know I sometimes go overboard with my fangirling but I really admire them the most for their music… them not liking me would break my heart

Nervously, you stare at your screen. Your gaze flips up towards the reception from time to time, while you also check out all the doors that you see, waiting for someone to pick you up. You can’t wait anymore.

Buzz.

[Channie 🦘 12:40]: Baby, listen… it’s gonna be amazing, I promise. You’re the most talented video editor in this world and they wouldn’t have hired you if you weren’t. You’ve got the chance to meet your favourite artists so just try to not read too much into it. It’s gonna be fine ❤️

Fuck. He’s done it again. Chan just knows what’s right for you, what you need to hear when you don’t even know it.

That idiot makes you fall in love with him even more. Now that you’re about to meet CB97, you won’t be able to continue crushing on him the way you do. In that fangirl style. You’re sure you’ll still be admiring him but possibly in a different way, depending on how he is in real life.

It would be weird, right? Fantasising about that guy? Having explicit ideas and all?

God. You push those thoughts aside and decide to answer your friend instead.

[You 12:41]: Okay… thank you 💕 maybe we can get some ice cream after your shift? And I can tell you about it… unless I am annoying with it

Hopefully, Chan’s work will be over at that time. He told you he won’t be at his office for so long today, so meeting up and having him calm you down after sounds like a good idea.

[Channie 🦘 12:42]: Ice cream date it is! and you’re never annoying me, Y/N. I am happy to see you being happy and that’s all that counts. Fighting!! 🤞🏻

Okay. Good. You have something to look forward to, just in case that everything goes down the drain.

[You 12:43]: 🥺🥺🥰

Around fifteen minutes later, an employee calls out your name and brings you to a computer office, telling you to wait for the three musicians. Your heartbeat is still unreasonably fast but it’s gotten a little better. The thought of seeing Chan later really helped you ease your mind.

A clicking sound indicates that the door of the room is opening and a moment later, three men appear behind it. They bow and you do the same, before they sink down on the chairs that are surrounding the table you’re already sitting at.

Two of them—J.One and SpearB—take off their masks, complaining how warm it’s inside here despite the extremly cold weather outside. However, winter temperature doesn’t hold the youngest of them, their guitarist, back from drinking an iced americano. You’re surprised they revealed their faces so quickly. But then again, you had to lock away your phone in the beginning anyway. So, you won’t be able to take photos of them in secret—which you weren’t going to do. You’re a professional, no matter how big of a fan Y/N, the private person, is.

“I feel so honoured to be working for you,” you try to break the ice then.

The three of them give you a smile—except for CB97 since he is still wearing his mask. Weird. Maybe he’s caught a cold or simply doesn’t feel comfortable yet. He’s usually the most confident of the group, especially when it comes to showing off his body in music videos. Well, just give him some time.

3RACHA goes over their concept with you, explaining in detail which storyline and aesthetic they are going for. It sounds amazing. Incredible. It’s a miracle that these men aren’t only absolutely talented in anything music but also seem to have a clear vision of something that sounds as if it should be in a cinema. You seriously hope you will be able to live up to their expectations.

Time passes by, Jisung is ordering iced americanos after iced americanos for you online. He’s a funny guy—the two of you have instantly gotten along. He jokes around, encourages you to try stuff when it comes to editing and makes you sincere compliments for your skills. The same counts for Changbin. It feels as if he’s having quite a hard time taking his eyes off you. You seriously don’t want to read anything into it.

But the fact you’ve had some thoughts about these three that you now feel a little embarrassed about, doesn’t make it any easier sitting here with them. They are so attractive—not only look wise but mostly blamed on their incredible talent and the way they make you feel comfortable around them despite not really knowing you.

It’s as if you’ve known each other for years, as if you have been friends for some time, although you’re here for work reasons to edit their music video.

The only one who falls off that scheme is CB97. He hasn’t talked that much to you so far, only ever staying business related. He does take you seriously, it’s not like that but for some reason it feels as if he’s trying his best to avoid you.

It breaks your heart a little. Now being with them you know you weren’t really serious about waiting for your ‘Y/N-moment’ but it still stings a little that he’s doing anything to not speak to you more than what’s necessary—all meanwhile Changbin and Jisung are already sharing their interests and personal thoughts with them although it’s just been a few hours.

“You’re so skilled, Y/N,” Jisung compliments you, when you hit the ‘play’ button another time to go over a scene with them. Half of the video is roughly done by now. Of course, video editing is time consuming like nothing else but if you’re lucky, you’re gonna have a rough outline at the end of the day.

“We should book you for all our future projects,” Changbin adds.

You instantly feel heat creep up to your face. Getting to work for 3RACHA once has already been a dream. You’ve never expected them to adore what you do so much that they would seriously consider letting you edit another video of theirs.

“What do you think, CB?” Jisung asks.

“Yeah. Good idea,” the leader respons.

Still no fucking emotion. But you stopped reading too much into it. It’s okay. It’s more than fine. There’s probably a reason for his weird absence that isn’t caused by you. Who knows what’s going on in his distracted head.

“I mean,” Jisung starts again, severly confused about the behaviour of his older friend as well, “you were the one to initiate that deal but you’ve been so quiet since–“ Flick. CB97’s finger hits the side of J.One’s head. “Ouch, what the fuck?”

The leader gives the other one a strict look and you would wonder what on earth is going on if you weren’t so busy focusing on a very certain detail.

CB97 was the one who decided to have you as their editor.

You thought it was just their company hiring you or hiring someone from your company.

How the hell did he even find you?

“Oh, you were the one to set this up?”

“Yes,” he replies and it’s the first time his eyes actually meet your own for a brief second.

“Thank you so much, I feel so honoured.”

He gives you a warm smile. You still can’t see his mouth but you can see the kindness in his eyes. They look comforting. They look… almost familiar but you can’t quite put it yet.

“J.One and I have to head to the studio in a few minutes,” Changbin announces.

“Right, the appointment,” the youngest replies.

They get up all of a sudden and collect all their stuff. J.One is busy throwing away an endless amount of plastic cups. God, that guy’s caffeine addiction is in fact no joke.

“Ah, right,” CB97 says, “Y/N and I will take care of the rest. It’s okay.”

You gulp. Fuck. Does that mean you’ll stay here alone? Alone with none other than your celebrity crush CB97?

In the blink of an eye, the speed of your heart increases, your pumping pulse echoing through your body like the beat of the sound of the music video.

You can do this, Y/N. It’s gonna be okay.

“Is that alright with you?” he adds when he sees the unreadable look on your face.

“Hm?”

“Being here alone with me,” he explains. “We can also take a break, if you need one.”

“N-No. It’s fine. No break. It’s okay,” you tell him.

“Sure.”

You get back to work. A few minutes pass before the musician finally decides to scoot a little closer to you. He blames it on the fact that it’s easier editing this way but it’s also pretty weird that he’s been sitting so far away from you.

This is when you take in a deep breath and your nostrils get hit with a whiff of familiarity.

That cologne. That scent. You’ve smelled that somewhere before.

It is very close to the one that your best friend wears. It’s a pretty popular one. Chan once told you that he knows a bunch of guys who use the same fragrance. It gives you comfort, knowing that CB97 wears it, too. It reminds you of Chan. It makes you feel at home. Safe.

“It was the right decision to hire you for the job,” the artist says out of the blue.

“Thank you so much,” you reply. “How did you find me, by the way?”

You’ve been wondering since J.One accidentally dropped that their leader chose you for this job.

“I did some research,” he explains. “Came across your previous works and there’s just… just something about how you use colours in videos. It amazes me how you manage to tell a whole story just with a few frames.”

You give him a smile and he does the same. You can tell by the way of his eyes turning into crescents.

The look… It reminds you of your best friend. Once again.

“Thank you.”

He scoots a bit closer, catching a glimpse of the scene that is being repeated on the big screen over and over again.

“In my opinion, a music video is perfect if it can be a standalone without the song itself. And you seem to achieve that every time,” he compliments you.

“I don’t know what to say…”

CB97 chuckles.

Oddly familiar.

That laugh. It sounds like…

No. There’s no way he could be…

Drop that dumb idea, Y/N. You sound like a crazy person.

There is no way that CB97, 3RACHA’s leader and your celebrity crush, and Bang Chan, your best friend and real life crush, could be the same person.

“There’s no need to say anything,” the man next to you says, rushing you out of your thoughts. “I’m sorry I was rather quiet in the beginning.”

It makes sense. Well, if you pick up that theory again. If CB97 is Chan, then that’s the explanation for him appearing quite inapproachable.

However, you don’t want to think about this.

If this was true, you seriously wouldn’t know how to react. At all. Would you be mad at him for lying? Would you wonder if he only chose to book you because he knows you and not because of your talent? Would he be disgusted after all the unhinged and delusional comments you made about the musician that he is supposed to be?

Fuck. You feel your head get dizzy. Meanwhile, CB97 is staring back at you, puppy eyes telling you he is plagued by second guesses, too. You don’t know if it's because your assumptions are true or on what he said almost a minute ago.

Right. He’s waiting for an answer.

“No worries,” you quickly add.

The man gives you a soft smile with his eyes, before he shuffles in his seat and turns on another lamp that is placed on top of the desk. It lets the room shroud in a yellowish tone, turning the place a bit warmer.

You can get a better look of him now, too. Those dark curls hidden under a cap, the mask still covering his face, a black sweater hugging his upper body with a little print that looks like—a strawberry?

Strawberry.

Chan owns a sweater like this, too. You bought it together some months ago. Sure, it was at a fast fashion store a lot of young people go to but… shit, those can’t be sheer coincidences, right?

“My best friend has a similar sweater!” you blurt out then, unsure what to expect from him. Even if all those guesses turn out to be wrong, your comment sounded rather… random.

“Oh, cool,” CB97 answers, caught off guard, he can’t deny it.

“There’s… another scene on today’s list,” he starts again, changing the topic. The man scoots a bit closer, reaching for the computer mouse, before he opens another file. There in front of your eyes is an unedited video from their day of filming—it’s his part of the story, he’s performing it in the—quite artificial—moonlight. In the rain. Absolutely shirtless.

“That shot is… wow…”

CB97 chuckles, you can hear it through his mask. Fuck. It plays with his head, a little. He can’t deny it. It also shoots a sensation down to his cock that shouldn’t be there, but he’s a man after all. A man that is very much attracted to you.

When you first came into the studio today, absolutely shy—unlike how you usually are around him in private—he couldn’t take his eyes off you. It was hard. Painfully hard. Just how his dick is threatening to become if he doesn’t manage to focus on something else.

But, shit. You were so cute. So freaking adorable. He would be lying if it didn’t do something to him, whenever you have talked about your celebrity crush the way you do—unaware that it’s your best friend whom you’re simping for.

That’s what at the same time leaves a bitter aftertaste, too. Maybe it’s even the main reason why Chan hasn’t been able to be honest with you about his secret identity yet. 3RACHA started out as a joke between friends, after all. Jisung, Changbin and him would have never expected to become so successful, let alone gain so much fame in such a quick time.

Faster than he was able to tell you about it, you had already been head over heels for his alter ego. CB97. He wanted to share that plot twist with you, really. But at some point he became insecure.

What if you’re only attracted to the artist? Not to Chan, the private person? What if you’re not actually attracted to him at all? What if you don’t return those stupid little feelings he’s had for you for years now?

This could destroy your friendship and so much more.

And even if he was the luckiest guy on this earth, even if you felt the same for him—what about those obsessed fangirls? Chan can’t do this to you—date you and keep it a secret. He’s always wanted to show you off, tell the whole world that you belong to him once the time is right and his dreams come true.

But… that can’t work. You deserve something better. You deserve someone better. Someone that can take care of you. Someone who has enough time for you. Someone who can treat you the way you have always hoped for.

Chan can’t do this. And it breaks his heart every damn time only thinking about it.

“The tattoo… is it… a strawberry?”

His vision goes blank. Time stands still, as you drag him out of his inner monologue.

Fuck.

Shit.

No.

How could he not think this through? Of course, you were gonna see that stupid tattoo. It was just a matter of fucking time.

Did Chan even think… at all? That whole situation, that whole set-up of bringing you here was destined to be doomed. He’s so stupid. But he can’t think straight whenever you’re around him.

Maybe it was his inner desire, his endless feelings for you that made him come up with a dumb plan like this.

But he’s here now. And you’re on the finish line of connecting the dots, of counting two and two together.

“I– yeah…”

It’s inevitable. It doesn’t matter now anyway. It is what it is.

You take a closer look, hit rewind on a certain frame that shows the little strawberry quite detailed, almost in 4K. It’s the same placement. The same thin fine lines. The same shade of red. The same fucking tattoo.

“It looks like… it…” No. This can’t be. Still, as if you're on autopilot, you avert your gaze towards the man next to you.

“Chan?”

Immeditaly, he finally takes his mask off, revealing your best friend behind it.

“Hi, Y/N.”

He can’t be for real.

He can’t be for fucking real.

You feel weird. You feel confused. You feel embarrassed. You feel everything at once.

Your body moves for you, when you stand up and grab your bag, already heading towards the door of the studio.

“Y/N–“ you hear Chan call from behind you.

“Leave me alone. I– Just– Fuck.”

The next second he sees you storm out the room, he knows he’s absolutely fucked up, neck deep down in shit.

He’s such an idiot.

🎸

Of course, rain finds you before you reach your apartment. You still manage to make it inside, before you strip off the drenched clothes and throw them in the washing machine. Grabbing the rest of your dirty laundry, you turn the thing on. You hop under the shower next, internally screaming as the thoughts keep running in circles.

How the fuck are you supposed to look him in the eyes again?

You simped for his alter ego in front of him on a level that needs a word stronger than just ‘delusional’. You feel so absolutely embarrassed of this whole situation. And on top of that, you feel hurt about the fact that Chan didn’t trust you enough to tell you about his side business.

You feel dizzy. Nauseous. This is getting too much.

Exiting the shower, you put on some random shirt and sweatpants, before you head back towards the living room. That’s when your brain starts babbling again.

Too many thoughts are running through your mind at this second. Is this the end of your friendship? Will you ever see him again?

Well, to be fair, you were the one who stormed out of the building of Chan’s entertainment. The emotions just washed all over you, flight mode kicking in instead of fight mode.

God. You can’t focus.

Is it really that bad?

Like rationally thinking—which you are not capable of at current times—maybe the situation isn’t as bad as it seems.

Let’s place the cards on the table. Chan, your best friend, your crush, is also CB97, the famous rockstar, your other crush.

Is there a way that this friendship or whatever it could evolve into can survive? He lied to you—well, not entirely, he rather kept it a secret but you also understand that it probably was to protect himself. However, it stings a little, knowing that he doesn’t trust you enough to share his other identity with you.

You’ve always thought that you can tell each other everything. You tell him everything. Well, except for the fact that you are madly in love with him but this is just to protect yourself–oh.

Maybe you get it a little, maybe you will understand once the angers has vanished away from you and–

Knock knock.

Your body paralyses. It’s always been like this whem someone shows up at your apartment unannounced. It’s silly, it really is. But your pulse always picks up its pace when that noise creeps into your ears.

You don’t react. You simply can’t.

Knock knock.

For fuck’s sake, you’re supposed to handle your overwhelming emotions here you can’t experience more anxiety because some neighbour annoys you–

“It’s me. Please, let me in.”

Oh. Yeah, of course. Why on earth didn’t you take into consideration that your best friend might show up?

“Y/N… please, I can explain.”

You sigh, contemplating what’s the best way to react. But you won’t be able to escape this situation forever. Maybe letting him speak what’s on his mind will be okay.

“Fine.”

You open the door and let him in. Chan is carrying a big brown paper bag that he places on the dining table of your studio apartment.

“Strawberry cheesecake and strawberry oat latte. For you,” he explains with a small but soft voice. “Oh—and your phone. You forgot that.”

The device meets the table as well while Chan’s eyes hover through the room before they connect with your own.

“You can’t buy my trust,” you say. “Although, that is a start.”

Chan lets his head sink down. A couple of seconds later, his palms meet his face, gesturing how overwhelmed he must be by the situation.

Fuck. He wishes he could turn back time. Tell you earlier about who he really is. You must feel like shit. Probably embarrassed about all the unhinged stuff you said about his alter ego although this has never been an issue to him.

The more important part is that you probably believe that Chan can’t trust you. That’s what it looks like at least. But it’s not at all what it is. The story is a lot more complex, a lot more complicated.

Chan hides his persona to both protect himself but also you. After all, he knows what it’s like to live life being a public figure. It’s nothing at all what most people think it is. It’s a lot darker, a lot more stressful, actually.

“I’m sorry. I know,” he starts then, breaking the ice again after a long pause of zoning out in his own worries. “I should have been honest with you from the beginning but the whole thing isn’t as easy.”

You don’t get it. You seriously don’t. If there’s someone Chan can trust, it’s you, isn’t it?

“Why isn’t it? I wouldn’t have told anyone. I would have kept it a secret, you know?”

Does he maybe believe that you would have spread it around? Told other friends about it? Maybe his parents? Or others?

God, this sounds as if Chan has an Only Fans that he hides from the public when he’s just a guy doing indie rock music, occasionally shirtless.

“That’s not it, Y/N. It’s more complicated and fucking complex than this,” he says through gritted teeth.

He’s not mad at you. He’s mostly mad at himself and this society.

“What is it then?”

“Fans… rumours… insane people talking shit about you. If they once see us together and draw that connection, it’s over.”

His voice is a little louder now but you don’t complain. You get that he’s emotional.

“We’ve been out in public together before,” you say.

You don’t understand how this could be an issue?

“I’d love to take you to all the events with me, though. Now that you know about me. But this isn’t an option.”

Shit. Your heart melts a little. He can’t say shit like that. Why does Chan even want you to be at events with him when you’re not his… partner?

“It’s okay… I don’t expect that from you. It’s fine how it’s been,” you reply, meaning it. You would never pressure him into anything like this. His safety comes first.

“What if people find out? What if they… harm you because you’re part of my life?”

You gulp. Maybe Chan has been hiding his identity not only to protect himself but also to protect you.

“But we… aren’t even a couple, Chan.”

Unfortunately.

“What are they supposed to say about us being just friends?”

The words just friends and the sad truth that connects to them enlighten a stinging pain in Chan’s heart.

“It wasn’t bad in the beginning but once we got more recognition, the fans went insane,” he explains.

You chuckle. Embarrassed. Shit, you have to think back to all the crazy stuff you said about CB97. And his abs. His arms. How you’d allow him to rail you into oblivion—yes, you said shit like that to Chan, unaware you are talking about your best friend.

God. A shiver runs down your spine and you want the ground to open up and swallow you as a whole.

“Yeah. I know. I am part of them.”

You try to avoid his gaze, it’s uncomfortable enough already. Fuck. Chan probably thinks you’re a weirdo. A freak. A pervert. You would have never shared those unholy thoughts if you knew that they were secretly about him.

Well, it’s not as if you’ve only ever had those dreams about CB97—they don’t differ a lot from the fantasies you have about Chan. But you for sure won’t tell him that either.

“No, on that level it’s fun and all,” he reassures you and you feel a bit of the weight drop off your shoulder. Okay, at least he doesn’t think you’re a bad person. “But there are dangerous ones, too. They would even get angry for us just being friends and considering that I–“

“That, what?”

For fuck’s sake, why did you interrupt him?

“N-Nothing,” he lets out.

“Chan… what were you going to say? Where’s the issue in us being friends? They don’t even know what you look like.”

That’s the thing. Why would there be a problem with you leaving the house with him and being in public? You’ve been doing this before, as well. No one knows how CB97 looks like behind that wolf’s face.

“Some fans do… we used to take off our masks in earlier days. We stopped though once we got more famous. But some fans from the beginning will recognise us, probably.”

Oh. Well. That explains his anxiety. It might be just a few but from what he tells you, maybe they are capable of things that you can’t even imagine. Your heart suddenly increases its beat, thinking that your best friend might be in danger at any time, given the fact that some psychos might be his ‘fans’.

However, this still doesn’t explain what the whole situation has to do with you. This is a struggle he faces without you knowing of his rockstar life.

“But why do you care that much about me?”

Because I love you, Y/N, and you don’t seem to realise.

“I want to protect you… I– what if…”

“What if?”

God, Y/N, can you let the boy speak? He will never finish a whole sentence when you keep interrupting him.

He sighs, “What if… one day, being just friends with you… isn’t enough for me anymore?”

The earth stops.

Your heart stops.

Everything stops.

If one day being just friends isn’t enough for me anymore?

Chan said it. He just said it. He let it out and now he has to face the consequences of you not returning his–

“When will one day be?”

He blinks. Maybe there’s a chance for a happy ending. Maybe.

“It’s been for a few years,” he confesses.

“Chan…”

“Just forget what I–“

“No. Listen to me now.” His eyes find yours again. “I… me fangirling for CB97… I’ve always liked him so much because he reminded me of y-you…ironic, I know… a-and I thought that if I direct my feelings towards a celebrity that I don’t have a chance with anyway, I will forget about how much I’m in love with my best friend…”

Chan is the happiest man on this planet. No, screw that. He’s the happiest man in this whole fucking universe.

Can someone pinch him? Wake him up from this dream he’s dreamt a thousand times before?

“I’m in love with you, too, Y/N.”

God. You’re always pretty. But nothing comes close to the beauty you’re carrying when you smile at him like you do right now.

“This still doesn’t solve all the issues with you being a celebrity–“

“We will find a solution. I promise, baby. Nothing can come between us.”

Huh?

How did he switch from being an anti to full supporter of the idea of you and him together? Fairly speaking, he’s never been against it at all, rather just scared of turning this dream of his into reality and all the consequences he must face when it comes to the love for you.

“How do we make sure that… nothing happens?”

“First of all, I’ll protect you,” he reassures you. “Second of all, we communicate like we always do. If something gets too much for you, you tell me.”

For some reason you’re not convinced yet. He seemed so serious of not wanting to cause you any trouble linked to him. It seems weird, if you’re honest to yourself.

“But… you were so hesitant and against this just a few minutes ago? Where’s that one hundred and eighty degree turn coming from?”

You see him sigh. Chan looks nervous. Almost more nervous than he was when dropping the bomb about his years-long obsession that differs a lot from innocent platonic feelings.

"That's because I’m a fucking coward, Y/N. I didn’t want to risk both losing you because of my secret identity and the feelings I thought you didn’t return.”

Fuck. It actually makes sense, now that he explains it. You understand why he wanted to make sure first that it’s worth it fighting. It may sound a little egoistic but you get where it’s coming from. After all, you haven’t confessed until today either and if Chan didn’t finally unwrap that elephant in the room you’d still be waiting here for him to make a first move years from now.

“Oh… yeah, I get what you mean.”

He gets a little closer, shaky fingers now intertwined with your own. They feel both cold and warm at the same time, reflecting the ups and downs of the rollercoaster of emotions he’s riding.

“But I promise,” he continues, “I fucking promise that I will always protect you. Nothing comes between us, ever. You’re the most important person in my life.”

“You’re quite okay, too,” you joke.

He chuckles, cocking his head, “Brat.”

That stupid smirk of his instantly shoots a sensation to your belly, butterflies dancing together because of that slightest gesture. But when Chan starts speaking again, your attention shifts back to the current conversation.

“I’ve also wanted to tell you that it isn’t entirely true that I was the one to hire you. My boss saw a video you edited and we both agreed on asking your company to invite you.”

You’re a little relieved now. You’ve been wondering if you’ve only been hired for the job because of your connection to Chan and this kind of crushed your ego, if you’re honest.

“Thank you for telling me this,” you genuinely reply.

“Yeah.”

His gaze roams all over your face, searching for something.

“Hm,” you let out.

He looks determined and distracted at the same time. His heart is beating out of his chest, intense pressure threatening to rip the sweater apart that is covering his upper body.

“What are you thinking about, Chan?”

You can’t take it anymore. Giving him a little nudge, you’re sure he’ll be able to tell whatever he’s thinking about.

He sighs, “Can I please just kiss you?”

You chuckle. How can someone be so adorable and absolutely hot at the same time?

“What are you waiting for?”

His lips feel so soft pressed against yours. For a moment you’re convinced time stands still, your surroundings becoming a blur, as your heart decides that nothing else matters anymore when your best friend finally kisses you.

After all these years. All these nights you dreamt about being like this with him. It finally becomes reality. But none of those imaginations come even remotely close to the real deal.

His lips feel soft. Although his kisses are anything but that. Tongue grazing over your mouth, you invite him in, allowing Chan to take the lead, while his firm body forces you against the dining table, all on autopilot. You let him. You don’t care about anything anymore.

Not when he’s roughly nibbling at your lower lip with his teeth, grunts slipping out of him, when he tastes you. Fuck. He’s only been kissing you, nothing more but he can already feel his pants tightening whenever one of those sweet moans leaves you. Chan is a man after all. A man that desires to have you under him, a man that desires nothing more than to ruin you in the best way possible.

You seem to catch on, when he leans a little closer, pushing you on top of the furniture. Spreading your legs, you tell him you need him near and he complies. His firm crotch is pressed against your covered pussy and you let out a whimper. Chan swears this is the most stunning melody his ears have ever witnessed and he realises in that moment that he’ll never be able to create a song that comes even close to that beauty that is your voice.

Your voice that is so desperate. For him. Only him. At least he finds out, when your hands reach under his sweater. You admire the little strawberry for a second, feeling like a total fool for not counting two and two together so much sooner. Chan and you aren’t ruled by the trope of best friends to lovers, you’re total idiots to lovers. But it doesn’t matter.

The fabric gets hovered over his head, leaving him shirtless. You’ve seen him like this before. Chan isn’t necessarily shy when it comes to showing off his perfect body but it’s a little more intense when he’s so close to you now.

“Wow…” is all you’re able to say.

He chuckles, before he dives in for another kiss and lets his hands travel under your shirt as well. It doesn’t take him long to pull that clothing off you either, after all you don't really fight it. Why would you?

And that’s when the unexpected happens. His lips crash into the skin on your neck, rough bites being placed there, the feeling shooting through your whole body, enlightening the deepest desire hiding underneath.

When Chan looks back at you, you witness the pure lust swirling in his eyes before your mind basically turns blank.

Why is that?

Well, you’ve lost track of time but Chan’s fingers have found their way between your thighs, brushing over your clothed core. It’s kind of cute how you’re staining the material of your sweatpants. Your best friend finds it adorable, really, how easily you seem to crumble underneath him. It makes him want to corrupt you, let out the darkest yearning that must slumber deeply inside of you.

His other hand wastes no time and pulls the fabric down, leaving you in your underwear. All that brat does is chuckle, before his fingertips wander back to their destination again. He grazes over your sensitive spot, admiring the wet patch he seemed to have caused from doing so little.

He can’t help it but let this mischevious smirk appear on his face again. It makes you witness his dimples, too. And you would pay a little more attention to them if your thoughts weren’t occupied by how good it feels to have Chan so close to you. You whimper, when he slows down his movements, rubbing your clit through the fabric, as you feel yourself grow wetter and wetter.

“So fucking sensitive,” he grunts. Fuck. Chan’s been dreaming about this moment for years. He can’t believe it’s actually reality now.

And when yet another moan spills from your lips, he finally decides to free you from that drenched barrier. You watch your panties collide with the floor, landing somewhere on top of the shirts—and leaving you bare naked in front of him. Chan mumbles some curse words under his breath, before he manages to speak a sentence, “Stop me, now– or I won’t be able to hold myself back anymore–“

“But I don’t want you to hold back…”

That smirk on your face is the cherry on top that break him. Chan’s lips smash into yours, his body coming closer, making you spread your legs for him. His hand is back right between them, playing a little with your clit, this time without any disturbing layer that’s separating you from one another.

“More… Chan– more, please.”

He finds it adorable how you’re begging for him, so two fingers slide into your hole just as you’ve wished for. They stretch you out perfectly, you’re immediately clenching around them before the man in front of you starts thrusting them in and out of you.

“F-Feels so good, fuck,” you let out, throwing your head back.

Suddenly, he pulls his fingers out of your aching hole again, before he guides them to his mouth. They disappear, as he licks your scent off his skin, a groan escaping his lips.

“Fuck– you taste as sweet as candy, baby.”

You, in the meantime, graze over the strawberry tattoo on his chest with your fingertips, as a little smirk appears on your lips.

“You have no idea how fucking much I want you.”

“Then do something about it,” you challenge him.

“Are you sure, baby?”

His demeanour switches. You adore this confident, dominant type of Chan but there’s something about him turning all soft just to make sure you’re feeling alright.

“One hundred percent.”

It takes him less than three seconds to free himself from both his sweatpants and boxers, as he lets the fabrics slide down. The clothing pools around his ankles, as he doesn't want to waste any more time. Chan is impatient. Fucking impatient.

Yes, he’s waited for this moment for years but having the taste of being inside you so close to him, within reach of his fingertips, he realises he can’t bear a second without having you.

Meanwhile—your eyes are fixated on his beautiful body, roaming around, taking a glance of his muscular thighs, his pretty cock, back up to his firm chest and the little strawberry.

“Like what you’re seeing?”

Cheesy.

You slowly let your hand find his upper body again, before it wanders down, dangerously close to where he needs you the most. Wrapping a hand around his length, you start stroking him, bringing your eyes back to his.

He already looks fucked out and for some reason it’s adorable. Chan is always this respectful, caring best friend—totally opposite to how he behaves in his music videos and you wonder how long it takes for him to reveal his true, animalistic nature.

A sweet whimper that he lets out is barely the beginning and when Chan notices how innocently you’re staring at him, oh so opposite to what you’re doing right now, he fears he might cum at the spot. So, to stretch out some time and to make sure this is a little more comfortable for the both of you, he grabs you by the waist without a warning, spins you around until he’s carrying you bridal style to your bed.

Your back hits the mattress and you have no time to get used to your surroundings, when Chan is already towering over you—hungry for more. Parting your legs again, you invite him to come closer. He positions himself right between your thighs, pumping his length a few more times before he asks, “Condom?”

“First d-drawer,” you reply, voice shaking—out of excitement.

“Are you nervous, baby?”

You’re not sure if he’s teasing you or genuinely worried you might regret this.

“No, just really fucking horny, Chan and I swear if you don’t–“

“What a brat you are,” he intervenes, clicking his tongue.

Painfully slowly, he reaches towards the nightstand table next to your bed, getting closer to you and placing a soft kiss on your lips—you believe your heart might melt in a second.

“You… you make me a brat…”

You know exactly what you’re doing. You’re such a bad liar, it’s unbelievable. Your best friend comes back to his previous decision, unwrapping the plastic before he glides the condom onto his dick.

Chan scoffs, thinking about what you just said, before a little chuckle follows, “Be a good girl for me, baby, hm?”

You hastily nod, finally giving in, as you allow him to push the first few centimetres inside you. It takes a little time to get used to the feeling—you won’t lie, it's been some time since you’ve been intimate with someone.

“You okay, sweetheart?”

“Y-Yeah,” you stutter. “I– I haven’t… uhm… in a long time.”

A gentle kiss gets placed on your cheek.

“I’ll be careful, okay?”

You nod again, before you tell him to add more and he slides completely in. Chan pulls out of you, just to repeat the process again—now filling you completely, tight wet walls hugging his throbbing cock, begging him to move.

So, he does exactly that, starting with slower motions, waiting for you to get used to the feeling. Chan can’t deny it—you’re tight, tighter than he would have expected so he makes extra sure to give you enough time to stretch, to get used to his length.

“Fuck–“ you curse under your breath, “feels so god damn good.”

All he does is chuckle and add another kiss on your cheek, before he picks up the pace a little. You’ve lost track of time by now, absolutely deluded in the feeling of him stuffing you full of his cock, brushing that certain spot from time to time, whenever he changes the angle a little.

Chan decides to place your legs over his shoulders, which helps him fuck even deeper into you, threatening your vision to get blinded by stars anytime soon. Your attention shifts somewhere else, when you notice the palm of his hand lying flat against your lower belly, grazing over the bulge that’s right there.

“Look, darling, we’re made for each other,” he tells you.

You hastily nod, letting a chain of moans slip out of your mouth, lips staying parted. Chan has already ruined you for anyone else, nothing matters anymore.

And whenever the man above you witnesses that fucked out look on your face, it drives him closer to his own relief as well.

“Chan– need–“

He hastily nods, bringing two fingers close to where your bodies meet. He flicks them over your sensitive nub, rubbing your clit to the rhythm of his hips moving. Chan keeps rutting into you, hitting your sweet spot so deliciously that you fear you might faint for a second.

“Please, please, please,” you beg for nothing in particular.

But Chan knows exactly what you need which is why he continues his movements, catching your lips with his own, before he whispers, “Be a good girl, baby, and cum all over my cock, yeah? Can you do that for me?”

And you do. The pleasure takes over you, spreads through your whole body when he lets you tip over the edge. The stars are finally blurring out anything else, tears are pricking at your lower lash line, while you cry out your best friend’s name as if it’s the only word you’ve ever known.

Chan helps you ride out your high, slowing down a little until you give him a sign to continue.

“Well done, baby…”

God. You might as well cum again, if he doesn’t stop praising you.

“You’re so good at this,” you compliment him now, knowing this is exactly what he needs to hear.

Your predictions turn out to be true—a few more thrusts and whimpers and Chan fills the condom with his seeds, moaning out your name. The sweetest melody your ears have ever witnessed.

Heavy breathing fills the room, as your eyes find his own. Smiles erupt on your faces before giggles follow.

Without a word, Chan pulls out of you and discards the condom. He comes back with a warm towel from the bathroom, cleaning you from your own juices, and a glass of water from the kitchen. He doesn’t leave until you’ve chugged down all of the liquid.

A few more minutes later and you find yourself under the covers with him, dressed in fresh pyjamas, just like him. Chan is playing with your hair, almost dozing off into sleep, but he wakes up again when you kiss him on the cheek.

“I love you,” you say.

“I love you too, Y/N.”

❤️ AUTHOR’S NOTE: thank you so much for reading this little spin off! I actually planned to include this in a series as it was supposed to be a hannah montana inspired story HAHAHHA anyway, since I didn’t manage to finish that series, I decided to still publish this one! Also, because I felt like Chan deserved his own lil story in the Topline universe. Stay tuned for what I have in store for Binnie! 🤭 I really hope you enjoyed this story. Ngl, it was kinda hard finishing this time, mostly due to personal issues so it took me longer than I would have liked and I wished some scenes would be… better. But I still hope you enjoyed this fic. I really like the mc in this, she’s a bit different from what I usually write and very similar to all of us simps on this website lmao XD If you enjoyed this story, please consider leaving a kind comment and/or reblogging it. Unfortunately, likes don’t really matter on this app and I am dying to know what you think about this story! Have a nice day and thank you for being here!

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