pfdaddy

[pfdaddy]

#eclipse #moon #humor #jokes #cows

[pfdaddy]

Another delightful text to the wrong number.😀

#humor #wrong number #text #lost phone #jesus

[pfdaddy]

I had a coworker tell me that her doctor said if she removed her IUD she would lose forty pounds.

Then I said. My god how much does that thing weigh?

#humor #jokes #iud #things you hear at work

[pfdaddy]

Star Destroyer?

More like Dick Destroyer.

Come on Disney. It's like the Little Mermaid castle all over again.

#humor #jokes #random observations #star wars #asokha #star destroyer #disney #disney+

[pfdaddy]

My boss: "I need you to set up a room with enough chairs for 23 people."

Me: "You should have been more specific."

#humor #jokes

[pfdaddy]

Goodness if you're so helpless you have to have someone deliver and install your AAA batteries I can only imagine the help you'll need with AA batteries. Or god forbid you need a D cell battery.

#batteries #humor #jokes #AAA batteries #random observations

[pfdaddy]

On the gay men's hookup app Scruff there are presently 203,000 profiles featuring #bottom, 26,000 post #versatile, and 31,000 profiles that are #top.

This disparity is unjust and must be corrected. Remember if you are banging two or more tops you're just being greedy!

#scruff #random observations #humor

[pfdaddy]

After meeting your friends family you connect their fear of clowns to their mother's makeup application technique.

#humor #jokes #makeup #fear of clowns

[pfdaddy]

What do you call a mermaid that is also a firefighter?

An emergency siren.

#humor #jokes #mermaid #firefighter

[pfdaddy]

Jasmine rice.

#jasmine #rice #alladin #humor

[pfdaddy]

Do you know what is worse than stumbling into your grandparents playroom?

Stumbling in while Nana is having her limits pushed.

#humor #bdsm #grandparents #playroom #things you can't unsee

[pfdaddy]

Is this what they mean by "Party and play"?

#humor #pnp #party and play #ball gag

[pfdaddy]

Year of the Tiger gives way to Year of the Rabbit

No matter how silly this year can be compared to last year it's going to be "Grrreat!"

#lunar new year #year of the tiger #year of the rabbit #tony the tiger #silly rabbit

[pfdaddy]

Talk about one stop shopping. Sex, drugs, and video games.

#sex #drugs #video games #humor #random observations

[pfdaddy]

It's always nice when your "date" cancels on you before you check out.

#humor #random observations #retail #date night

[pfdaddy]

When the Scooby snacks kick in.

#humor #scooby snacks #scooby doo #random observations #hana babera

[pfdaddy]

It's strong enough to repel insects and remove paint off the shelves.

#humor #insect repellent #random observations