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Phic Phight - I’m Not Above A Love To Cash In

@a-closet-emo @coyotecrackers @DizzlyPuzzled @vigilant-insomniac @Kawaiijohn @fangirlwriting-stories

Danny’s kind of out of touch with humanity, that was kinda the point in the end. He had a job to do, people and ghosts to protect, a dimension to rule, and crazy bigoted ghost hunters to keep in line; potential distractions and collateral weren’t useful for anyone. Though maybe those would have been good for Danny’s well being, not that he cared too much about that.

Danny sighed at the little envelope, how the heck any of them even tracked down where he was living he had no freaking clue. Oh well, it was here now, meaning he couldn’t feign ignorance. The A-listers, or whatever they called themselves these days, had set up a reunion and had invited even him ‘Freaky Fenton’. Course they also managed to get the ghost mailman to deliver one to Phantom as well, which was slightly insane because as far as they knew Phantom had literally never gone to school at all??? Wasn’t it kinda weird to invite someone that not only wasn’t in your grade but wasn’t even in the school, to a high school reunion? Eh whatever, who was he to dictate who they invited, Dash probably demanded it actually. Ugh. So that left him with what to do about it, it would be rude as fuck for either Danny to not show and it would hurt his image in both forms. Jack and Maddie would spin some story about how it was proof that Phantom didn’t care about people, and then would say the same about Danny Fenton except that Fenton had been ‘tainted’ by Phantom.

To say they weren’t getting along these days would be an understatement. It made him very happy he never told them about being Phantom as a teen though. That would have ended with him strapped down on a table, no doubt.

His whole secret identity was the entire problem here really, his forms looked effectively identical meaning the two sides of him never being seen right next to each other was kind of important. Even being in the same room was too big a risk, if someone simply glanced from one to the other it was obvious. In photos he was fine, since ghosts messed up photographs and videos so severely.

Absolutely no one would buy it that neither one of them noticed the similarities. And absolutely no one bought that ‘Phantom stole Fenton’s face’ thing his parents once tried to spin. So Danny trying to play the similarities off wasn’t going to work.

…

Well he could simply do the aggressively opposite thing. Have Fenton and Phantom near each other constantly and clearly aware of the similarities for some reason. Just what kind of reason should he come up with? Claiming twins would get disproven in a heart beat, especially because everyone would wonder why he waited fourteen fucking years to reveal that shit. He… could, maybe, spin some soul mates bullshit. Ghosts were weird and did weird things and worked in weird ways, people would buy them having legit soul mates and being weird as fuck about it.

He should work shop this a little.

Really sell it.

Fuck.

Danny’s totally going to pretend to be his own fucking boyfriend at a random ass reunion that he still doesn’t know how he wound up getting invited to.

…

Oh Ancients Jack and Maddie were going to lose their minds when they heard about this. That’s it. He’s sold. He’s dating himself for a night. Fuck it. They put him through hell, he’s gonna put them through a little hell too.

Now how to explain it… ghost soul mates copy the appearance of their mate? Why though… hmmm… he doesn’t have a good one for that. Maybe… to recognise them while they’re still alive? Technically that could stab him in the ass if Fenton him ever died but well… unless something killed him then he wouldn’t die, semi-immortality was kinda a bitch like that. Old age was gonna bite him in the ass no matter what. And if he did get his sorry ass killed, finally rested in deaths grasp, his appearance would change to his ghost king form fully meaning that his ass actually would be covered by this dumbass excuse. Okay he is mentally swearing way too much and should absolutely go to bed at this point, sleep deprivation was absolutely taking the piss outta him right now.

He’s definitely sticking with this dumb dating himself idea though, it was just too good and too stupid.

Had Danny’s fully rested opinion changed from his sleep deprived one? not a chance. Eleven years ago this would have been utterly impossible to do, but now? he’s got duplication down pat, all his powers he was pretty solid with now. Not having friends gave him a crap ton of free time. Again, positive sides to negative things.

Heck he doesn’t even know what Sam and Tuck- Tucker were up to these days, it’s better left that way too. He’d be too tempted to keep checking up on them if he looked into it, and he gave that up the day he died and decided to keep that to himself no matter what. That no matter what had become losing his friends, his family, his sleep schedule, his unmarred body, his childhood home, his dream job, his grades, everything he used to care about except the stars. The stars he could be closer to than every living being, so he made that enough for him, it had to be.

Because he couldn’t follow his former friends, he couldn’t follow his former parents, he couldn’t follow his sister, he couldn’t follow his former teachers, he couldn’t follow his dreams. He refused to take all of that down with him, because the only one or thing Danny Fenton followed was Danny Phantom, because all Danny Phantom followed was Danny Fenton. Guess ‘dating’ was just taking it to another step, an absurd one but absurd was his half-life already so it was okay.

… Better thing to wonder about was what the heck to wear? He could slap his Phantom self in some of his more humanly normal royal wear but Fenton him? He owned one suit and it was shit. Most of his clothes were shit, he never actually paid for them so most were either destroyed or cheap enough that he didn’t feel too bad about the act of theft. His morals were another thing he gave up following, at least following it to a tee anyways. Eh fuck it, he’ll ‘barrow’ some of ‘Phantom’s’ royal wear. He’s not wasting time, money, or further morals, on trying to get something decent in a human way.

When was this happening again?

…

Tomorrow. Of course. It was fucking tomorrow. Figures that it would take a while to mail shit to a ghost and figures that they’d be lazy about sending ‘freaky Fenton’ an invite. Ugh. Whatever, he doesn’t really have energy to waste on caring or being bothered. Screw them too. He’ll be late purely to repay the audacity. That way he’ll also have to deal with everyone less, all the ‘normal’ people. Which if Tucker or Sam showed would probably be for the best, he doubts they’d approach him but it’d be painful to see them regardless. Not being in school anymore made it easy to fall out of being used to ignoring and avoiding them.

Though to be fair, he’d been out of school longer than everyone else, since he dropped out as soon as he legally could. Turning seventeen had be such a massive turning point for him, he’d been building up to dropping out and the teachers all knew it. None of them expected anything from him, Lancer held out hope longer than most but not even that man could hold out hope for a lost cause for long. Jack and Maddie thought he was joking till the day he actually dropped out though, they kicked him out of course which he expected; he didn’t even bother taking anything since nothing that was still there held any value to him.

Over time they had destroyed, one way or another, every physical thing he did care about. So he stopped bringing new things he would care about, it was a waste and only stood to hurt him in the long run. Them taking apart his telescope he spent years saving for just to make some stupid new invention was the nail in that particular coffin. So he left them everything he’d ever had but some clothes, that were barely wearable but he couldn’t exactly walk around naked. He’d been tempted to purely to make a point that everything in that house was worthless to him, them included, even if that used to be a lie.

Now he had some decent stuff, his mattress had a bed frame with stars scratched into the wood. That was something. Yeah…

…Yeah

He does have some food in the fridge right? Shit he should totally raid the free food at the reunion thing, the local town hero needed it more than they all did really. He’s seriously hoping that they have those yummy cheese tart things, those were delicious.

Fenton stretches out, eyeing his Phantom duplicate, it was so much harder to make a human duplicate than a ghost one so the choice of which one to make ‘real’ was fairly obvious. Snickering as Phantom chucks some clothes right at Fenton’s face, this kind of crap always amused him, being a goofy jerk to himself by himself. Fenton shaking his head, “dumbass”.

“You know talking to yourself isn’t supposed to be healthy”.

“As if we’re remotely close to healthy anything”.

Either way Fenton pulls the dark green knit tank top on, it looked acceptable over the black poets blouse, and the puffy blouse sleeves worked with the baggy harem pants. The shiny dress shoes stuck out bit so he’s swapping that shit out to soft weathered leather boots. Phantom’s already dressed in something more form fitting, like he always wore in that form, straight cut pants he’s sure are from the early nineteen hundreds and a borderline military tight collared and fully buttoned up jacket. Phantom sticking with the white boots and black gloves, there really wasn’t a reason to change that and he wasn’t a fan of people seeing the scarring on his left hand/arm.

Both of the hims absolutely rock the evil eyeliner though, because of course.

Fenton straightening the random bullet necklace he threw on, “so, ready to go babe”; fuck this was gonna be hilarious.

Phantom finger gunning right back, “tots babe”.

Oh here’s hoping he can hold his laughter and mocking smirks inside his mind. Everyone even in this spooky town could be so dumb though that they might not even notice even if he didn’t manage to keep himselves together. Plus he was ‘the freak’ and ‘crazy’ so he probably would get written off anyways. Fenton gesturing out the door as he opens it and begins to walk out. Phantom chuckling, “naw, I’ll fly us”; and having Fenton pretend to be startled when he gets picked up by his ‘romantic partner’. Man he’s going to make himself laugh at this point.

It doesn’t take long to get to Elmerton, at least the ‘A-listers’ had the sense to not try and hold a reunion inside Amity Park, especially when a lot of the people who were likely invited had made a point to get the hell out of dodge once they could. Amity was kinda a nightmare so Danny couldn’t blame them, even if it felt a little insulting. He thought he was doing a damn good job of keeping everyone safe! Sure there was lots of damages but no one ever got seriously injured. Living in a so called normal town just sounded boring to him these days, what did all those people even do with their time? Sleep? Eat? Did people still go to the movies these days or was that outdated? Whatever. Not his life style not his problem.

Phantom zipping up to open the door, Fenton stuffing his hands in his pockets and following along. Fenton had the loner lazy weirdo image to maintain after all. And there’s Star immediately, honestly he kind of expected either Dash or Paulina or maybe they were just ‘too good’ to greet people at the doors.

Star opens her mouth and nothing comes out, her just staring at the two hims. Yup. She noticed the freakish similarities immediately. She swallows very awkwardly and her smile is pinched, “Phantom! Danny! Glad you could make it!”. That rang about as true as a fucking potato trying to pass as a turtle. What the fuck. Did they just not expect either of hims to show up? Why even invite him then!

Phantom tilting his head, “well I was invited, someone went through a kinda weird amount of effort to do that”. Fenton scoffing, “and I can absolutely just leave if I’m not actually welcome, don’t know why y’all went to the effort to track me down if you didn’t want me here though”.

She waves them both off, “no no no! You’re both fine!”, and fiddled with all the little name plates, “it’s…”, side-eyeing Phantom’s glowing self, “just been a while since I’ve been around a ghost and wearing a bullet to see a bunch of people you haven’t seen in over a decade seems a little concerning”.

Fenton blinks, is she trying to say it came off as a threat? “If I was going to threaten people I’d do it to their face and if I was going to shoot people I’d have walked in with a gun”.

“That’s… not comforting”, she looks Fenton up and down, “you’re not armed right”.

“No!”; oh my zone just how bad was everyone’s opinions of Fenton? Ugh. Phantom gestures at his face, “I’m kinda always armed? I can’t do anything about that”.

She actually chuckles at that, handing them their name plates, “still a joker I see”.

“Death can’t kill these puns”.

Fenton snickering, “hopefully it can still off me though”. Phantom laughing lightly back, “you’re not a walking sentient pun, otherwise I feel very misled”; and makes a point to ruffle Fenton’s hair and have Fenton grin a little fondly at the action.

It was actually kinda nice to feel his hair being ruffled up again though…

Star, finally, gets the vibes he’s putting out. Vibes squared that he’s putting out. Doubly putting out. Her eyes widening, “oh my god are you two dating? Since when and how even!”.

Danny’s a little miffed she didn’t even comment on how similar the two hims look though. Like come on! If this whole thing was pointless he’s going to be annoyed enough to try setting something on fire. Nothing like arson to really scratch that destructive itch.

Fenton quirks an eyebrow, “I mean, yeah?”, sharing a glance with Phantom before looking back to her, “and pretty much ever since I dropped out, folks kicked me to the curb and this idiot showed up”.

“I’m the smart one in this relationship”.

“I don’t know about that, you dipshit”,

“Hey!”.

Oh okay, so that’s why everyone liked calling him insulting names. It was legit hilarious and weirdly satisfying… hopefully he doesn’t come out of tonight with a weird degradation kink, that would be his luck and very concerning. Would confuse a lot of ghosts though.

Star shakes her head with a more genuine grin, “I think I’m glad then, feel free to head on in. There’s food and drinks to the left”. Sweet, free food. “No invisibly stealing most of it, Phantom”. Aw. Damn. He’s still going to just… with more subtlety.

Phantom smirking, “so steal all the food, gotcha”, and winks before they’re fully inside.

It’s loud, not club loud but noisy. A second duplicate absolutely raids the table, just taking only a few things and at random. Not the toasted sandwiches though, ew. Hard pass.

Lily spots them first, nearly running over, he can tell by scent alone that she’s got kids now. Weird. “Holy crap, Danny? Phantom? Did you guys just arrive by chance together or do you- holy what the?”, she stops a bit away from them and tilts her head, “did you two always look this similar?”, and shakes herself off before coming all the way over to the two hims. “So both of you still in Amity I guess? Phantom obviously but you seriously didn’t leave Danny? With how crap your parents were to you?”.

Wow. Way to be gentle about it, damn. Fenton quirks a judgmental eyebrow, “harsh much, but Amity’s big enough that we avoid each other pretty easily. They leave my precious Nasty Burger and coffee shops alone, I stay the hell away from FentonWorks. It works”. Phantom nodding readily, “plus I would be very sad if he went and left”, and makes a point to pout goofily.

Lily hums and nods, “oh yeah I guess since most of us left, you’d miss anymore leaving huh?”.

Dense much. Fucking Zone.

Fenton and Phantom exchanging looks before staring at her. Phantom giving her that smirk that meant he was about to say something stupid, Danny loved making that smirk, “no, I’d miss sucking his face off”.

Lily squawks, scandalised, “you don’t just say stuff like that! And you’re dating!”, tilting her head, “you guys have the same name and could pass as twins, that is so weird”.

“WHAT! Oh mi god!”.

Ah that sounded like Paulina. This ought to be fun.

Paulina almost knocks Lily over and physically flings her arms around Phantom’s neck. Danny can’t resist but have Phantom give Fenton an awkward apologetic look; just to make Lily uncomfortable. That absolutely works and she shuffles on her feet and taps Paulina’s should in an attempt to get her to stop.

“I can’t believe you actually came! Oh this is the best! And you’re still so muscley! And you smell like lime still!”.

He… forgot how creepy she could be, actually. Wow. He’s nipping this in the ass. Fenton putting a hand on his hip, “you done dangling off my ghost, Paulina”; he makes sure that comes off as chastising instead of actually questioning.

Paulina doesn’t get off of Phantom and instead just turns her head to look at Fenton, “and you are? What could you possibly mean by that?”.

Holy shit. By all the Ancients. She doesn’t even recognise Fenton him. What the fuck actually. For someone who was, and clearly still is, so obsessed with a version of him she clearly couldn’t be bothered to remember him. Phantom prying Paulina’s arms off him with an almost baffled raised eyebrow, “Danny Fenton? You know? The kid you guys used to call freaky all the time? My soulmate?”.

“Your what?”. Of course the last bit is the part she really cares about. She stares at Fenton, who glares, her looking back to Phantom, “I refuse to believe that”.

You know what? Fuck it. Time to absolutely horrify everyone and do something arguable really weird. Fenton grabs a fist full of Phantoms hair and kisses him like he fucking means it. Even though all he really means is that he desires to disturb Paulina and see if he can make her throw up on command.

She doesn’t throw up, sadly. She does start waving her hands around and backing away disgustedly though; an almost win. “Oh god ew! I don’t want to see that loser kissing anyone! Especially not Phantom”. Well too bad Paulina, you’re seeing it. Lily is busy clutching her pearls and shuffling away from them like they’re physically toxic to be around; which with him being literally a ghost in one of his forms that was actually an accurate statement.

Fenton does break off the kiss though, “oh so you do remember me?”. She scowls at Fenton him so he has Phantom whole ass bite Fenton’s neck with his fangs like a proper possessive asshole ghost would. Her scowl deepens and he feels very satisfied with himselves.

She backs up a bit, “unfortunately. Now at least. I would have preferred not to have the reminder”, looking to Phantom almost hopefully, “are you sure? Serious?”.

Phantom keeps a hand around Fenton’s waist, “course! It’s pretty obvious he’s supposed to be mine so”. Fenton sticks his tongue out meanly while Phantom shrugs like all of this is a given.

“No it’s really not”.

“Holy shit Phantom!”.

“Wait really!?”.

“Phantom!”.

“Wow you’ve changed! Awesome man!”.

“He came!”.

“I forgot how freaky ghosts looked”.

“HI!”.

Fenton gets pretty much shoved to the side as Phantom gets mobbed. Ahh yeah Danny did not miss all the fangirls and fanboys shit. He really didn’t. That was one thing about being a hero he could seriously do without. It was at the least uncomfortable and at the worst actively dangerous for everyone involved. Fenton huffing and shaking his arms out, going through the motions of running his bite mark and grumbling about people hogging ‘his boyfriend’. Fuck it, Fenton him is hitting up the food table and grabbing both hims a drink. The duplicate can deal with all the damn fans and freak outs.

Phantom chuckles awkwardly when Dash smacks him a few times in the arm, “solid and tough as always I see! Man it still sucks that ghosts couldn’t be on the team!”.

“And I’ll point out that would have still been unfair”; like really, Danny, especially as Phantom, could pick up the entire school building. He could kick a football into the goddamn stratosphere.

Dash smacks him again, “oh who cares”.

“I do? And did?”. Danny liked to pretend he still had good solid morals sometimes.

James starts aggressively shaking Phantom’s hand, “man it’s been too long, wow i thought I’d been misremembering that your skin, or suit I suppose, tingled!”. Phantom only laughing awkwardly in response.

“You still doing the whole super hero thing?”.

“it’s almost weird to see you all grown up?”.

“You know you practically were part of our class!”.

“Could you imagine if he still looked like a kid?”.

“Amity’s ghost issues as bad as ever!”.

“Think I could get a signature for the kids?”.

“The Fenton’s still trying to catch you?”.

Okay this was a bit much, like it always was. Most of Amity didn’t do this crap now, everyone used to him just kinda always being around. Everyone here though? Again most of them left Amity, meaning he was now a novelty to them. Phantom him was at least.

Danny’s putting a stop to this, “Hey spooky butt”, Fenton leans his face and one drink over Phantom’s shoulder in a way that could only be described as shit-eatingly sultry.

“Holy shit Danny!”.

“Looks like someone finally learned how to dress”.

“Why are you getting Phantom a drink?”.

Paulina crosses her arms and huffs, “apparently they’re dating”, waving a hand around dismissively, “soul mates or whatever”.

OoOooIooOoooOoOooh someone’s jealous. Ha! He loves to see it. Suck on that, little miss stalker.

Everyone just kind of goes silent, zone someone actually goes and shuts off the music even. Wow. His both touched and slightly horrified. Phantom takes the drink from Fenton and sips noisily at it while everyone stares; Fenton just smirking his ass off and Danny trying not to have either hims collapse to the floor in laughing fits.

Todd snapping, “what the hell does that mean”, then scowling, “wait, why do I even care?”, and stalks off to aggressively grab a rice crispy square. That starts the shouting though.

“What?!”.

“What does she mean dating!?!”.

“There’s NO WAY THAT’S SERIOUS!”.

“How!”.

“Woah woah woah huh?!?”.

“WHAT!”.

“The hell happened!”.

“How does this even make sense!”.

Paulina looks pleased with herself actually, smirking at Fenton like this somehow proved something? Danny’s completely lost on what she thinks she’s won. Like, Danny’s winning here, mass confusion was practically ninety percent of the goal. He wanted to piss off, freak out, and annoy these people. Most of them had treated him like shit, the others didn’t care, and well, two were… okay but he was best leaving them confused too. At least he doesn’t see either of them yet.

Dash near shrieking, “Fenton!”. Danny’s suddenly distinctly remembering that this guy used to slam him into walls and try to drown him. Fenton ducking down under Phantom's arm to be able to slip under it to move in front of his ghost self, “what do you want, Dash? Feel like revisiting shoving my head in toilets?”. He makes a point to have Phantom watch the interaction like a very obviously protective hawk; protective eyes for Fenton only. He is legit enjoying seeing Fenton him standing up against Dash though, especially since Fenton was taller than Dash now and more bulked up.

Someone fell off with all their working out. Ha! As if that would ever happen with Danny, he’s mere existence was a work out.

Dash glaring up at Fenton, sneering, “Fenton, still being weird I see”.

“Let me guess, I was invited to be the freak show you lot would point at and use as a way to make yourselves feel better about how your own lives turned out? What? Upset that you were right about peeking in Highschool?”.

Dash actually clenches a fist, Danny keeps Fenton glaring straight at his face, and makes Phantom’s eyes glow dangerously in warning. Dash wilts immediately, scoffing, “gotta have a ghost fight your battles for you, Fenton. Whatever”.

Fenton cackles meanly, wandering off to pick up one of the full coolers up over his head with ease and shout, “you wanna go bitch?!? You think I’m hooked up with a combative mother fucker without getting a few hits in myself!”. Yes, fear human him even slightly, please him.

Then Star stomps over, “Danny put that down”, pointing at Dash, “Dash, this isn’t Highschool anymore, grow up”, then looking at Phantom, “please discourage this?”.

Phantom blinks innocently, “why would I? It’s hot when throws shit at people, he threw Johnny’s bike two days ago, ten outta ten”.

That gets him a lot of ‘what’s’ and Paulina recoils, “you, called Fenton hot”.

Phantom shrugging like this is obvious, “well he is”. Note, Danny is fully aware that he is absolutely not hot or conventionally attractive in anyway. He just wants to see her grossed out. The disgusted look is so worth it, worth all this crap.

Kwan shakes his head, but when he smiles at both Danny’s his smile is genuine, “well good for you two then!”. Dash glances away awkwardly, Danny’s guessing those two had a falling out. Figures, Kwan was always a kinda decent dude that was just surrounded by assholes. Kwan coming over and smacking both of the Danny’s shoulders, “how’d this happen though?”.

Multiple people raise their hands, clearly wanting an expilnation for this shit too; zone the music is still off. Danny knows he’s a hot topic, as Phantom at least, but for fucks sake! Phantom and Fenton exchanging glances before Fenton crosses his arms at the group, “after I got the familial boot, this shit ass”, jabbing a thumb back at Phantom. Phantom muttering, “yes insult me harder, daddy”, purely because that was absolutely taking this a step too far. Making Fenton pause and look back at ghost him, “I can’t believe you actually said that”, then turning back to everyone, most of whom look varying degrees of freaked out, “so this shit ass, helped me get back on my feet and not be contentedly homeless and you know, when a hero type starts stealing things for you you start to question that shit. And well, romance bloomed”. There are some ‘aw’s’ and some gags and some eye rolls. Expected, many here had once had crushes on Phantom him and also viewed Fenton him as a loser; most wouldn’t be happy about this pairing not that he cares.

Phantom waving at everyone with a big smile specifically to get their attention, “we’re soul mates!”, humming, “which is a ghost thing so it’s probably really weird to the living”.

Fenton nodding, okay self… selves, time to sell this shit. Fenton pointing at his face then Phantom’s face, “it’s why we look alike”. Phantom nodding immediately, “looking like our loves makes them easier to find”.

Jesse blinks, he was dressed in an actually starched suit, “so ghosts just copy their partners appearance until they find them as ghosts? Until they die? That seems a bit insane and like it would mess with your sense of self”.

Paulina stares at the ground, “so I’ve been crushing on a Fenton look-alike, ew”. Oh Danny hadn’t even thought of that reaction! Ha! Suffer for his amusement. This was a great plan.

Fenton smirks to himself, “yup. Too bad you missed out on the real thing huh?”. She scowls deeply at him and stalks off, apparently done with his bullshit; the quick glance she gives Phantom is a little odd but maybe this will finally kill her odd obsession with half of him.

Phantom hums, shaking his head in that way that makes his hair flop around detached from gravity, “oh I can look how I’m supposed to look fully if I want to”, leaning over and pinching Fenton’s cheek, “looking like this silly little human, in general body shape, is just more tolerable around all you humans”; then running the same hand through his hair, changing it to white flames as he does so. Danny lets the fire hair ‘hang out’ on and around Phantom’s head for a bit before settling back to his standard hair.

Dash grumbling, “I’d rather look like some beast than a loser. Fire hair is cool anyways”.

Brittney sticking up a finger, “but with this, then wouldn’t you have known since you first met? When you first showed up in Amity? So why didn’t you date back in Highschool?”.

Phantom quirks an eyebrow at her like the answers obvious, because frankly it is, “He’s alive? I wasn’t about to mess his life up, then suddenly he wasn’t in school or at his home. He was alone with no real human responsibilities so I decided why not? And I could hardly do nothing when my mate could use some help”. Dating any ghost, especially himself, would have gone horrifically bad while he was still living with Maddie and Jack. The amount those two would have tried to use him and this fabricated soul mate bond thing would have been absolutely insane and very very painful eventually. Even if he had dated a blob ghost that would have ended in the ghostly ultimate destruction. Even now dating a ghost came with far too much risk to them, dating himself he could get away with since he was a very powerful ghost and also knew exactly what he was getting himself into more or less. Besides, if dating himself is what gets his ass finally truly hurt by those two he will laugh.

Star grins at the ghost, “that is very adorable”, then looking at the mass of people, “okay that’s enough mobbing them, this is to mingle with everyone not just ogle Phantom”. Oh hey, look at the old queen bee lackey being the voice of reason now, talk about moving up in the world.

A couple people grumble but things do go back to somewhat normal, the music comes back on too. Nice. Star nodding curtly to herself, then to Fenton, “now I didn’t ask this earlier but are the Fenton’s going to show up? They weren’t invited but they were never big on following rules”.

Both Danny’s chuckle at that, Fenton shaking his head, “so long as no one tells them a ghost’s here, then no”.

“Glad to hear it, now I’m going back to greet people, I imagine there will be a couple more late arrivals”. Fenton smirks meanly at that while Phantom tries to look slightly apologetic, ultimately Danny didn’t really care and they should be glad he bothered showing up to an event full of people that either ignored his existence or treated him like shit except when he was saving their hides or floating around as Phantom.

Phantom finally gets to sip his, unfortunately ectoplasm free, drink and take some food from Fenton. Danny’s tempted to have Fenton fucking hand feed Phantom just to mess with people. The tarts are sadly really bland, is this what ‘normal’ grown ups liked to eat? Hard pass. But people’s tastes seriously get this boring? How sad and a bit pathetic. Live a little! Enjoy some flavour!

Kwan elbowing Phantom, “so the ghost problem still going strong”, laughing almost awkwardly, “I haven’t exactly been keeping up, the tech industry is a hard core one!”.

Ah so he worked in tech now? He’d expected English, a teacher maybe, he seemed to like poetry if Danny’s remembering right? Phantom chuckles, “of course! I doubt that’ll ever change. Serious damage doesn’t happen too much now though, since I’m pretty solid on what kind of damage is serious damage in the living world now”. Fenton nodding, “and I get the fun of patching his dumbass up when he lets himself get hit for a pun”.

“As if you don’t do the same”.

Fenton snorts, making a point to seem amused by Phantom’s antics. Phantom smirking playfully before looking back to Kwan, “besides, no ghost these days would want to actually get on my bad side with my position, you know?”. Jack and Maddie might very loudly and very aggressively deny that ghosts could possibly have a political system but everyone else seemed to accept it at least. Besides, those two hunters being loud about anything didn’t somehow make it true, even if the town believing the whole ‘ghost king’ thing made some of them a lot more leery of Phantom. Like he’d execute them or try them for dissent or something if ‘his human people’ went against him. Some folks moved out purely because they didn’t want to be in a town under ‘some ghost royals rule’, even though Danny had firmly established his Phantom self as the good guy by now. Humans could be so annoying. None of the ghosts got pissy about being under his domain and they were more under it than any human in Amity.

Kwan looks… confused? “No I don’t think I know? Are you, like, an actual ghost cop now? Man that would be so cool”.

What. Hmm. Well. Maybe most of these people don’t know? Most of his old ‘citizens’ hadn’t been citizens for a while before Danny took the throne proper and him doing so got leaked, thank you very much Vlad. Asshole. Though having very public arguments with the Observants in the mild of the fucking sky probably didn’t help, or him actually having to go scary ghost king on that one Ancient that tried poisoning the water supply with corpses. If you’re gonna mass kill people be a proper ghost and do it with your own bare hands. Danny makes a point to have Phantom look to Fenton in confusion, Fenton facepalming, “right. Most of y’all have been gone a while”, moving his hand off his face and giving Kwan a mean smirk, “Phantom’s been the current ghost king ever since he became an adult ghost”, waving a hand around dismissively, “its been, what? eight years?”.

Phantom nodding, “and my town’s, Amity’s, known for five because Plasmius is a jerk and the Observants won’t stop hassling me”, grumbling, “one of these days I swear I’m gonna start shooting them with suction darts”.

Fenton barking a laugh as if he wasn’t fully aware of what his other self was going to say, “if that works I will mock them relentlessly”.

“Please do, anyone who doesn’t give up on political assassination attempts after the third failure deserves to be mocked”.

At this point it was like they felt obligated to try at least once per year, it was very annoying and a waste of his time. At least all the other ghosts who started beef with him provided some entertainment and stretched his muscles out, let him satisfy that pesky little protective obsession of his. The eyeballs were just jerks. At least he had fun setting the last wannabe assassin on fire. Ha.

Kwan blinks before smacking Phantom’s arm hard, “wow! Congrats then! I’m busy enough just being a desk boy usually! Being a king would be awful, no offence”, then smacking Fenton’s arm one, “and congrats on bagging royalty!”.

Todd scowling from a little bit away, “fuck, right, I forgot that asshole got that throne thing, ugh I hate this town”, and wanders off further away from Danny’s hims and their everything.

But someone’s turned off the music, again ugh, it’s Lindsey by the controls and she’s gapping at the hims, “what do you mean Phantom’s royalty!”.

Oh. This shit again.

Everyone starts yelling at the hims again.

“What!?”.

“Oh that’s awesome!”.

“For defeating that dude that abducted the town right?!?”.

“For how long!”.

“That’s absurd!”.

“I could have dated a king!”.

“We sorta went to school with royalty!”.

“Oh my god!”.

“WHAT!”.

“Why are there still ghosts then!”.

“Does that make Amity, like, a royal capital!”.

Phantom buries his face in his palms, groaning loudly. Man Danny remembers going through this back when Vlad leaked everything and the towns folk realised he wasn’t joking. So many questions, an entire press conference even. Fenton crossing his arms and scowling, “there’s an entire press release on it, google it your self, hell go track it down on TikTok I don’t care”.

Phantom sighing again and removing his hand from his face, looking at the people in his line of sight, “yes it’s the throne the guy who abducted the town had. It’s only been eight years and the towns know for five. No I’m not going to mass control the ghosts to stay out of Amity, freedom is a big deal to ghosts. Amity is technically a royal capital but it’s not in the Infinite Realm so that doesn’t actually mean much. And yes it is absurd”, gesturing a hand at his head and making the green flaming crown appear for a few seconds before sending it away again.

Fenton pretty much gets shoved away from Phantom again as everyone pretty much mobs the ghost, Kwan patting an annoyed Fenton’s shoulder, “so what have you been doing? Outside of apparently dealing with Phantom’s craziness all the time”.

(Phantom holds up his hands, “alright alright, just stop shoving my mate around. Geez”. Only a couple of people apologise)

Fenton huffs, at least the man sounded genuine, after all most people didn’t expect Danny Fenton to amount to much of anything. Homeless and jobless was the expectation. It was also almost accurate, if he wasn’t Phantom at least. The only reason he had an apartment at all was because he was better at making weapons than his parents were, even if he sold his more or less illegally. The G.I.W. would never approve someone who was ‘in league with the dead’ to deal ghost tech in any form, even if they did, Jack and Maddie would try to keep him out. At least Vlad pulled his weight by letting Danny sell the more important stuff under the Dalvco brand, like shields and ghost-plant killer that secretly doubled as a Blood Blossom spray. His general weapons were blackmarket only though, fuck the government. “If I told you I’d have to kill you”. Kwan rolls his eyes and Fenton snorts after a beat, “I sell weapons on the blackmarket”.

… It takes a bit but, Kwan blinks, “oh you’re serious”.

(Phantom chuckles awkwardly, “yes I’m a lot stronger now than I was back then, I don’t flaunt that though”.)

Fenton shrugging, “it’s ghost weapons, dude. More ghost friendly, Phantom friendly, and more effective than what FentonWorks or Dalvco produce. And not legislated to the zone and back like G.I.W. tech, plus fuck those guys, no Amity Parker current or past would buy shit from those assholes”.

“Yeah I absolutely remember them shooting live rockets at little kids that one time”, Kwan shakes his head, “I guess that makes sense, can’t do it legally because of being publicly pro-ghost?”.

(Danny internally sighs as most of the group shove pens and paper and whatnot at Phantom, ugh).

“Got it in one, got it in one. It doesn’t make good money but it does make some. Enough for a place to live and cheap food, I’m not moving into the gz regardless of someone’s insistence on how cozy it is”.

Kwan actually takes that comment in stride, good for him, “I mean, you’re gonna be there one day anyways? So why rush it? Even if Phantom would probably prefer you there sooner than later”, the guy scratches his head, “man that must be weird. Being a ghosts soul mate or whatever. Chelsea marrying that old guy was weird enough, a dead guy is on another level”.

Chelsea married a sugar daddy? Really? Okay… Get that bread he guesses. Fenton snorting, “if she’s making bank and living the rich life because of that then good for her”, shrugging, “and outside of him running of to throw fists and laying on the ceiling, it’s not much different from dating a human. Getting bitched at about royal shit is way more weird”, looking down at himself and sticking his arms away from his torso some, “the clothing’s nice though”.

“That’s ghost clothing?”.

Fenton smirks, “yup. This shirt is probably older than our parents. And I think the boots are made from Minotaur hide”. He doesn’t think, he knows they are. Ghost clothing was badass like that.

(Phantom rolls his eyes at Jasper, “no I’m not going to just make people my knights when they die”.)

James pops his head over, “that would freak me out to wear, damn aren’t you worried about ecto-contamination and shit? I’d prefer to stick to stuff made by human hands, cool though”.

Was it weird? He didn’t think so. “There’s so little ecto on it that it really doesn’t matter, besides if clothing was bad for my health Phantom would kill me via cuddles”. Kwan bursts out laughing, and nods repeatedly.

James nods a little, “oh yeah! I guess that would be right huh?”.

The Danny makes a point to have Fenton jerk a little from Phantom just kinda appearing right next to Fenton. Kwan putting a hand to his chest and James yelping a little. Fenton glancing at Phantom, “got bored of being mobbed or doing signatures?”. Ancients everyone wanted signatures and if Phantom wasn’t the duplicate Danny’s sure his hand would be sore for at least ten minutes. Ugh. signing shit for Craig’s goddamn six children was wild though, his poor wife. Phantom pouting, “yes”.

“I did warn you that would happen”.

“I wasn’t going to not show up, that would be rude!”.

At least the music turns back on, thank everything. Dale spotting and hearing where Phantom disappeared to and popping over, “everyone’s glad you came, even if being around a ghost again is a little off putting and weird”.

Phantom rubs his neck, “me being more powerful probably doesn’t help”. Fenton shoving him a little good naturedly.

Dale acts like Phantom didn’t even say anything, “and yeah Fenton was kinda invited in hopes you’d be more likely to show, since both of you were seen near each other a lot”.

Kwan gives the other man a disappointed look, “dude”. Making Dale blink, “oh right yeah that was mean”, and just stares off blankly a little.

Wow. Fucking figured but damn. Jerks. Though right, wasn’t Dale the guy that had some brain damage? Eh, Danny shouldn’t be too mean to the guy. Still making Fenton scowl though, “why am I not surprised, it’s not like I was ever close with any of you shitheads”. James wanders away very quickly at that, and at Phantom growling a little. Kwan scratching his head, “sorry about that, Dale’s not the best at brain to mouth censoring”. Dale blinking and still looking a little far off but nodding, “ah, yeah no I’m not. Eh? At least dogs don’t care about that”.

Phantom brightening up immediately, “oh yeah! Cujo can be a handful but he’s a good boy”.

Dale blinks again, “I don’t think I could handle a ghost dog, all dogs are great dogs though”.

See that? Danny could agree with. Cujo might cause a lot of damage and might drag him around by his ankles but he was still just the best. And getting to have interactions with someone or something that had no expectations of him and couldn’t be disappointed by him was nice. All the pup wanted was a playmate, belly rubs, and to guard his master; nothing more nothing less. Cujo didn’t care if Danny was a king or if he was on bad terms with his biological makers or if he was a little out of touch with other beings or if he technically was an entity that should be impossible to exist in the first place. Dogs were nice like that, unlike people. So both Danny’s nod.

Then, as if summoned by the dog that ‘ruined’ her life, Val shows up. The good ol’ Red Huntress. At least they got along somewhat these days, her and Phantom at least.

Her voice is harsh, “what the fuck”. Ah so she spotted Phantom. This was gonna be fun and possibly annoying or stupid or a lot of things. She stomps over, glaring bloody murder at Phantom who whistles and glances around like an innocent little angel. Man Danny loved to rile her up sometimes, and she couldn’t even shoot him this time! She grabs Fenton’s baggy sleeve roughly and physically drags him off. Leaving a blinking Phantom, “well at least this time it’s him being pestered and not the ghost with the most”. Kwan laughs.

Fenton blinks at Val, “sup, Val. Why are you dragging me around?”. As if he doesn’t know exactly why. Phantom was here and she wanted to know why, the Red Huntress did talk to Fenton him sometimes, since he made ghost shit and everything. Plus the ‘Fenton’ knowledge he had from Jack and Maddie. Danny’s ninety percent sure she suspects him of knowing exactly who was under the helmet, She drags him all the way over to the food tables before responding to him, “I’ve been here all of ten minutes and all I am hearing about, besides people telling me what their jobs are now and Ali trying to get me to join her pyramid scheme, is that you are apparently dating Phantom. What the actual fresh fuck, Danny”.

Fenton huffs, “let me have my love life, gosh”, smirking, “what? Do you have a problem with gay couples?”; that’s not the issue and he knows it and she knows that he knows it.

She swats him over the head immediately, “he’s a ghost you dumbass”, huffing, “I know you tend to side with ghosts but dating Phantom? Really?”, rubbing her temples, “like yes, if you’re going to have a thing for the dead then Phantom’s acceptable but what are you two doing?”.

Fenton smirks, “what we’re doing is being little shits and cuddle buddies”.

“You know what I mean, you shit”.

Fenton chuckles, “and I couldn’t make this anymore clear, I could described what Phantom’s mouth tastes like if you’d like?”; of course Danny could actually have Fenton do that since Danny knew what his own mouth tasted like.

Val glares, crosses her arms, and looks from Fenton to Phantom, from one Danny to the other… then she does it again. There it was, the recognition. “What the?”.

Lily walks over to grab some food, “oh yeah let me guess, noticed the similarities? Apparently they’re soul mates”, eyeing Fenton, “ghosts am I right?”. Danny can tell instantly that Val doesn’t buy that shit, like at all. Figures, she was a ghost hunter after all… and she knew about Vlad’s sorry half-dead ass. AND she’s seen Elle’s human half which was basically just a female version of Fenton him.

Fenton smirks at Lily, “they’re weird, but exactly my kind of weird”, and fucking winks at her. Lily shaking her head and heading back over to a bunch of the other ex-cheerleader girls.

Val looks to Fenton slowly, “Danny? Are you? Are you him?”.

Fenton finger guns, “with him you mean, ha!”, then dropping his hands and shrugging, “it shouldn’t have taken you this long, Red. Like my excuse? All the reactions have been to die for”. She smacks him over the head again, expected, she always did love to rough up his sorry ass. “You know Phantom’s not gonna like if you bruise me up too much”.

“I hate you”.

“No you don’t”.

“Fuck you”.

“You wish you could”.

She throws her hands up dramatically, “I can’t with you! Oh my Zone!”, dropping her hands and glaring at Fenton, “you could have just fucking told me, you know”.

Fenton shrugging, stealing up a little rainbow rice crispy square, “eh, it was better off I didn’t. I’m a lot to get involved in and it’s better that people just don’t”, pointing the square at her before taking a bite, “tough shit or not you still die if someone lops your head off”. Sometimes he did want to try and stop her from the whole huntress thing but who was he to tell someone to not do stupid dumb reckless shit? Plus all the ghosts actually liked her, and that shit counted for a lot.

She frowns at him, “that’s a bit depressing you know? Is that why you’re such a loner?”, shaking her head and glancing at a wall, “I guess I’m not really one to talk though, huh?”.

“No shit, Sherlock. We’re both pretty irredeemably fucked, I just have less of a choice about it”.

“You have a choice“.

“Look me in my half dead god king face and say that again”.

She flinches at that, fucking good, he didn’t have a whole lot of tolerance for people telling him he could just walk away. As if everything wouldn’t go to utter shit without his asses involvement. As if people wouldn’t die or wind up experimented on. As if his realm could function and maintain itself without its king. As if there was anything better for him to do other than rot in bed. As if this wasn’t all he was goddamn good for and all he knew how to do anymore. Everything else is gone and there ain’t no getting it back. He’s fucked. Absolutely, completely, and utterly, fucked. And saying otherwise was like pissing on all his fucking suffering and sacrifices. He was needed as Phantom, as a sovereign and protector. He was needed as Fenton, as the interspecies liaison and defender. And that was all he was needed as. Never anything more and never anything less. It wasn’t his choice to make anymore, even if it’s a choice he would make over and over again if it was up to him. Nothing was changing that till either every part of him collapsed or the universe did.

Fenton huffs, “come on, let’s mingle instead of wallowing in our mildly crappy existences”.

She stands firm, making him eye her, “you do like it though, right? I do”.

Even if he didn’t, even if he hated every second of it, he’d still say yes just so she wouldn’t pity him or try to carry more of the load on her very mortal shoulders. He did enjoy it though, so there’s that, meaning it’s not a lie when Fenton says, “duh. I’m a combative mother fucker, even if somehow no one noticed that trait in Fenton”. This time she lets him drag her off with him.

Phantom giving both of them smiles, “have fun catching up, babe?”. Fenton snickering, “of course babe”. Val glares murderously at both hims but doesn’t call him out on his bullshit.

Silver waving at Val, basically killing the conversation Silver’d been having with his duplicate about their greenhouses poppy flowers. It’s was weird someone being so interested in just… growing a bunch of poppy’s. Like fuck, way to show you have a real hunky-dory life. They actually teared up a little at successfully growing an orange one… Sliver speaking up, “you still stuck in Amity?”.

Val nodding easily, “yeah, what can I say, I like the stupid town. I doubt I’ll ever leave, it’s got me for life”.

Yeah… she was probably right about that. She was married to the game less than him but still was all the same. Her it was more that she didn’t want to stop and felt responsible, rather than genuinely not being able to stop.

Phantom putting his hands behind his head, “yeah, her and her dad run a pretty solid tech shop these days, I get my thermoses fixed there since the Fenton’s are still crazy”. Fenton snorting, “tell me about it”. Did Danny actually need to be doing that? Obviously not. But it was a chance to have Phantom talk with Red outside of combat, and to familiarise her with thermoses in case the worst happened.

After all, losing all his human connections is what made Dan and that’s exactly the way things were now. It was bound to happen if he ever lost his protective drive. Protection and combat are his only drives, one without the other is a problem for his mind. So he’d keep his one connection with Val, for as little as that might be worth in the end, and he’ll keep his protective streak going till it burns him to ash.

Val rolls her eyes at the two hims, “helping the town, even that little bit, is worth it”.

“I hear ya, I hear ya”.

“Hey Fenton! Does Jazz still live in Amity?!”.

Fenton blinks, leaning away from his little group going on and stares at Dash, “fucking no?! Why would she?! She literally left the day she turned eighteen how did you not notice that?!?”, scowling, “and no! I’m not calling her for you! We barely talk anymore anyways!”. Which kinda sucked but she got to live her normal human life that she very much enjoyed.

Dash blinks, “damn!”. Ugh.

Silver blinking at Fenton, “oh? It’s ’cause of the Fenton’s isn’t it?”.

Phantom sighs, rubbing his temples, “I took her away personally. The Fenton’s, aware that Danny wasn’t going to, and in their eyes shouldn’t, take over FentonWorks, burned her scholarships and tried to stop her from leaving. I got her out and a few towns over, saw her off and all that”.

Fenton nodding, “which I was very relieved over, that had been Hell a little bit-”. Silver cringes. “-she’s doing well for herself though, has her own therapist practice and all that. Doesn’t want anything to do with Maddie or Jack, same as me”, shrugging, “she also wants nothing to do with ghosts, so I’m kinda an at arms length sibling if you will”.

“Since you’re dating a ghosts and illegally selling ghost tech? Yeah I can get that”.

Fenton nodding, “ditto. And if she did show up back here I’d slap some sense into her and tell her to get lost before she regrets it”; ahh getting maybe a little bit too real there but oh well. Jazz was a Fenton, which meant that Amity was a place she had to stay the hell away from; Jack and Maddie she had to stay the hell away from. Hopefully she never forgets that.

Then Star pops back in, “alright that’s everyone who’s coming!”. Getting a bunch of raised glasses and food stuff in return. A dark-skinned man with dreads coming in behind her, or… rolling in behind her.

That was…

Tucker was in a wheelchair?!?! What happened! Half the damn point was those two not getting fucking hurt! Was there no point? Had it been a hopeless endeavour?

It takes a bit to avoid dissolving Phantom. As it is his ghost selves eyes flare up a little and his ecto-field wiggles concerningly. Val kicks Phantom in the boot, to stabilise him maybe? He doesn’t know and he doesn’t care. He needs to know what happened, how it happened, could he have done something different? Fenton absently muttering, “I’m going to go say hi”. Val giving him a bit of a supportive back pat that he barely notices, she physically blocks Phantom him from following with a whispered, “Tucker’s Danny Fenton’s old friend, not Phantom’s stay put you”.

Sliver nodding, “I guess it’s no surprise you’re an over protective boyfriend”.

Fenton blinking down at Tucker, “Tuck”. And the guy raises an eyebrow, “been a while since I’ve been called that”; making Fenton, and Phantom, wince. Star walks away quickly, easily picking up on the awkward and probably way to private atmosphere.

Fenton blinks again, “you’re in a wheelchair”.

“Yeah I noticed”, Tucker sighing when Danny doesn’t really have a response to that that wasn’t horrifically insensitive. Tucker putting his hands on his lap, “Danny, you kinda lost the right to ask a while ago, but since you’re concerned enough to talk to me properly for the first time in nearly fourteen years, it’s genetic. I have a type of muscular dystrophy. Now can I get past and grab some food or?”.

Again, both Danny’s wince, him realising that the Fenton one was practically blocking Tucker from getting his… wheelchair past. Fenton stepping to the side with a neck rub, “sorry about that”.

“Whatever, man”.

Danny just kind of stares as the man goes, it hurt a little. The dismissal. But he expected it and it was okay. At least… at least it was nothing he could have done anything about. If anything this means that Danny was right to push him away. Being involved with ghosts would have gotten him killed probably. But… getting diagnosed and eventually having to use mobility aids had probably been crushing to him… and Danny hadn’t been there to support him. Any ounce of support he tried to give now would just seem hollow and like pity. Former friend was the right label for them and he should just let the man go, shouldn’t follow after.

He does of course. Fenton him does. Because the wheelchair and subsequent mild protective freakout has thrown him off kilter. He can tell the man’s glaring at the food table, Fenton him can see it in the reflection of some of the glasses. “Danny I’m really not interested in ‘catching up’ with you”.

Fenton stares a little before Danny can remember himself and that humans find staring creepy. Shaking his head, “right yeah, that makes sense”. Maybe he’d have better luck and less hostility with Phantom him? “Can I ask what you do at least? Then I’ll get out of your hair. You don’t have to ask me shit, or you can, it’s whatever”.

Tucker actually smacks a fist on the table, “I know the only damn reason you’re even trying is because I’m disabled now, so fuck off”.

Shit. Okay. That wasn’t how he was trying to be interpreted. “Tuck-”.

“Don’t”.

Fenton snarls, properly snarling, startling his former friend, “just because we stopped being friends doesn’t mean I stopped giving a damn. But fine, fuck it, whatever”, and basically stomps off. He doesn’t turn around when Tucker mutters a possibly regretful, “shit”. If the man wants to be an ass then fine, let him be an ass by himself. It’s better Danny doesn’t care anyways, it’s better they end on bad terms. Fuck it and fuck him.

Val’s kicking Phantom him again, since Phantom had snarled too. Shit whatever. Fuck it if he’s freaking anyone out, they’re all assholes anyways. Val eyeing the ticked of Fenton, “your mood is rubbing off on someone”.

“I’m fully fucking aware, Val”.

She smacks him over the head, “well pull your shit together, you can’t expect him to want to be friendly with you after all this time”.

“Yeah well I didn’t expect to basically get told to go fuck myself either, jackass”.

Both Val and Silver frowning, Silver shaking their head, “okay yeah that’s a little rude, but he might be going through some stuff, you don’t know. You staring at the chair probably didn’t help”.

“My mind goes to worst case scenarios so excuse me if the thought of someone I used to be extremely close with getting into some kind of horrible accident was upsetting”.

Phantom huffing and crossing his arms, “being dead or surrounded by the dead tends to do that”. Now he wishes Tucker hadn’t shown up at all. He’s going to be pissed off about this for days, fucking asshole.

Val sighs, “okay you’re not wrong on that, I thought the same. At least I didn’t freaking ask though, Danny. I thought you were just going to say hi, not be an insensitive jerk”.

Fenton scowls at her, sticking his arms out, “I didn’t fucking ask, he just assumed I wanted to, which yeah was right”, and grumbles a little incoherently before taking some breaths to avoid snarling at anyone else especially not the only human connection he still had. Ugh.

Val shakes her head at him, “okay I guess you can get to be annoyed, not mad, annoyed. Star’s civil with me even though we had our falling out”, crossing her arms, “Paulina not so much”.

Fenton grumbling, “if Sam had shown up I’d expect her to slap me at this point. Fucking zone”.

Star hums, having apparently made her way over after overhearing her name, “yeah she replied in the discord chat that she wouldn’t deign to show up to rejoin a shitty town full of people that were morally horrific”.

“Ancients that’s messed up, what the Zone Sam”. Fenton blinks and shakes his head, what the hell happened with her? He doesn’t want to know. Was she always that egocentric and holier than thou? If so it was probably better for everyone she had no say in him and what he does. Did childhood him just suck at picking friends? “Wait. There’s a discord?”.

Star puts a hand on her hip and cocks an eyebrow, “yup. All anyone could find on you was an address so we couldn’t exactly give you a code in”.

Val shaking her head and forcing a little laugh, eyeing Fenton, “if I had known no one had your number I would have sent it. I figured you just had no interest in messaging anyone, like me”, she waves a hand dismissively, “I confirmed I was showing up and dipped”.

Fucking great. Love it.

Danny notices Tucker pushing himself over to talk to Jesse. Danny chooses to ignore that. If he sends Phantom over he might just accidentally start a brawl and that was a very bad idea.

Star shakes her head, “would it kill either of you to be a bit more sociable?”.

Fenton immediately responding with, “yes”. Phantom with, “already did”. And Val with, “probably”. Making Star sigh and Silver laugh; Silver walking off right after, Danny pretending not to notice them point aggressively at Tucker. Ugh.

“Phantom! Come meet my husband! He’s heard stories about you and got curious!”. Phantom glancing to the side at Ashely then to Fenton with a quirked eyebrow.

Fenton waving him off, “go, I’ll be fine, you stupid celebrity”. Danny makes a point to have Phantom give Fenton a quick peck on the cheek, making Fenton blush a little, before running off. Val’s barely restrained look of horror is so worth it and definitely improves his mood.

Star shakes her head, “well at least it looks like you’re in a better mood now, this is supposed to be fun”.

“Then why are all the drinks liquor free?”.

“Because Todd has a liquor problem and I know you know it”.

Okay yeah that wasn’t wrong. All the local bartenders knew him by first and last name, zone some knew the middle one too. Sure they also knew Danny by first and both lasts but that was for an entirely different reason… he did also drink though so like it was a toss up. Then she glances to the side, winces slightly, and jambs a thumb over her shoulder, “anyway’s I’m going to check on everyone else. See if more people are better off not being in the same room”. Ouch. True but she didn’t need to say it. Star pointing at Val, “you’re coming whether you like it or not, you can talk to Danny whenever you want”. Val grumbles but doesn’t put up a fight.

Fenton shaking his head and laughing a little to himself, now what should he do? He frankly didn’t feel like dealing with anyone now, especially not all these chuckle fucks. He’s half tempted to just wander into the bathroom and stare at the mirror for twenty minutes self actualising or whatever. Grimacing, yeah he’s gonna do that, plus all this ecto free food was grating on his stomachs nerves.

He could eat normal foods, it’s just the ecto made it taste better and easier on his system to digest. Didn’t help that he grew up eating contaminated shit, thanks Maddie and Jack, and basically only ate contaminated shit after the whole half dying thing; it was an easy thing to do in Amity after all since everything was contaminated. But this was Elmerton and the food was definitely from outside the city, probably to specifically ensure it was ecto free. Yuck.

So Fenton meanders his way over to the gym bathroom/locker room, stuffing a hand in his pocket as he goes. Him popping into the sink and mirror area, kicking the door closed-ish and pulling out an ectoplasm vial at the same time, tossing it back without much hesitation. He didn’t hear anyone else in here and plus he also didn’t super care, which fine was partly because his attention was split into two different places and almost no one would really genuinely question him outside of Val obviously.

Granted Val would know exactly what he was doing and why.

“Did you seriously think I’d been hurt bad?”.

“Fuck!”, Fenton jumps, tossing the vial in the air, (Phantom jerking in his conversation about welding of all things) at the frankly very unexpected sound of Tucker’s voice. It took some doing to actually startle him, but guesses he was in his own head enough that someone was able to pull it off. Didn’t help that he just came from a room full of people whose scents he doesn’t recognise anymore. It bothered him a little. Fenton turning away from the mirror and looking down at Tucker, “uh?”. And then the fucking ecto vial clinks on to the ground and rolls across it in that loud way glass tends to do. Well fuck him, this shit is entirely his fault right oh wow this is instantly awkward.

Tucker stares down at the vial on the ground before looking back up at Fenton, “new question, what was that”.

See that did not sound like a question. Okay, self, shit, what to say? If this was anyone else, other than Val, he’d just say it was a weird Amity energy drink and he was tired and to piss off. Zone he’s tempted to say that crap anyways, but Tucker had sounded… apologetic, even if he’d startled Danny. He can’t not lie though. Well… technically, if he mentally twisted things around enough, calling ecto an addiction for him wasn’t wrong per say. He legit couldn’t exist without ecto, his system was dependent on it, so like, he could go with that? And now Tucker’s glaring at him like he’s thinking about ramming into Danny. Fenton blinking before shrugging awkwardly, “addiction’s compulsory, or whatever. And yes?”. Crap this was a really stupid plan of action. Way more stupid than dating himself, Ancients.

Tucker blinks, “addiction?”, shaking his head, “I don’t even care about the first question now”, frowning, “well I do, you jerk, but less”.

That’s fair, Danny thinks. Fenton shrugs, “that accident fucked me up, okay? Kinda needed ectoplasm ever since. Which sure, wasn’t exactly something I wanted to share with anyone. And maybe I didn’t deal with that well, but I think I dealt with that right. And I guess that’s all that matters”. Okay cool, so this is how he’s going to explain ditching them as friends, great. Fuck Danny’s so goddamn stupid. ‘Addiction’ was not on his bingo card of how to explain how weird he was to people… he really should update that stupid card.

Tucker’s glaring again like Danny’s done something wrong, except Danny doesn’t know why Fenton him is getting glared at this time. “Are you lying to me?”.

Fenton glaring back before sticking out his tongue, which was coated in faintly glowing green of course. Pulling his tongue back in, “do you know anything else that looks like that besides ecto? ‘Cause I sure don’t”; that had a bit more bite than he meant it to but oh well, he’s still kinda ticked off with this man so…

“And it doesn’t get you high?”.

Okay see now Danny’s getting actually ticked again. Fucking damn it. “No. Now if you’re going to just ride my ass then let me out so I can go somewhere that isn’t here”.

Tucker doesn’t move, in fact he locks his damn wheels, “no. Because that last conversation made me feel like an asshole and I refuse to feel like an asshole over you deciding to isolate yourself”, gesturing at the vial that’s still on the ground, “especially if all of it was over some stupid ectoplasm issue, you jack ass”.

“So what I’m hearing is you’re just being selfish”.

“So what if I am, I think I’ve earned that from you”.

Danny makes Fenton him relax over that, because if anything letting people take their issues out on him was something he was good for. “Ugh I guess that’s okay then”.

Now Tucker’s glaring again, “what”.

For fucks sake. “Dude, you’ve known me for years, since when did I ever put myself first? If you want to use me as a punching bag to unload your issues on, go right ahead”, snorting, “cause yeah, I’m well fucking aware it’s been earned. If you were Dash I’d tell you to piss off again”.

Tucker sticks his arms out, basically smacking the door, “so you’ll tell me to ‘piss off’ over not wanting to talk to you but won’t over me wanting to berate you?! Seriously?!”.

“Yes”. Fuck that was weird wasn’t it? Do normal human people do that? Or was he coming off as a massive hypocrite? Or as a masochist maybe?

Tucker pinches the bridge of his nose, still doesn’t unlock his chair though, “damn it, you have a bunch of mental issues now, don’t you”.

“Rude”.

“Yeah well now I just feel like more of an asshole, so there”.

They stare at each other for a beat, Danny’s trying really hard to mostly ignore Phantom having to play nice with Dale and his loose tongue again, apparently the guy really liked bluey. Fuck when was the last time Danny got really genuinely into any tv show? Had he even watched one since he dropped out? Crap probably not. If he had down time he was usually laying on the floor staring at the ceiling with a music playlist running, or having a quick drink with Val, or trying to study ghost history, or replaying an old video game he’s beaten hundreds of times just to feel young and carefree again.

Wow that had to be unhealthy. Not that he really cared about that. Blinking at Tucker, “so… what do you do for work”.

“I’m not telling you”.

“Fuck you too then I guess”.

Tucker puts his face in a hand and sighs very deeply with a muttered, “I was right, I really should not have come”, before lifting his head up and glaring up at Danny with goddamn pity in his eyes, “look, okay, I am sorry about brushing you off if you were genuinely worried about me having been badly injured and I guess I’m sorry you have this addiction issue, but you brought it on yourself. Me and Sam could have helped, you ass”.

“Tuck-”, crap he’s back to calling him ‘Tuck’ goddamn it, “-my head was a fucking mess after that shit, I have literally no memory from the three months after that crap. Just a boat load of pain cutting straight to sitting up in bed violently vomiting up ectoplasm. Excuse me for making some jack ass choices but again, I stand by those choices”, running a hand through his hair and leaning his ass back against the sink, “I thought that shit was gonna end with me dead, sooner rather than later, and I didn’t want to take you guys down with me. So I had to choose between the life I had with you guys and the moral thing to do. Kinda an obvious choice there, to me”. Honestly? Why was he explaining this shit now? Was it because his life was somehow less chaotic now? Or because he was an adult ghost and fully grown into what and who he was? Loneliness perhaps? Or did he just not want Tucker to actually hate him?

Tucker stares at him before wheezing, “Christ I wish you had just told at least me that”, massaging his temples and using the chairs arms to rest his elbows on, “if I remember right, which I might not, you basically didn’t talk and just stared blankly, it was creepy but your parents assured everyone you wouldn’t have any ‘long term’ issues. That you were just recovering and in shock. Not that dumbass fourteen year olds knew shit about shock-”.

Seriously? Seriously! What the Hell! Fenton blurting out, “what the zone is wrong with them! in what world would getting electrocuted by literally billions of volts not have a lasting effect?!”.

“-me and Sam basically carried you everywhere and babied you and then you suddenly flipped on us and avoided us like the plagu- wait what”.

Tucker looks horrified, crap that was not Danny’s goal. Oh well, he’s in it now. Fenton blinking, “Jack and Maddie sucking is what”.

“Dude”.

Fenton swallowing and rubbing his neck, “you guys were taking care of me?”. Okay so maybe Danny had been more of a jerk to them than he realised but still. Tucker glares so Danny bites the bullet and has Fenton respond properly, Tucker was an adult now not some teen who’d do stupid shit like follow Danny Phantom’s sorry ass into combat, “it was something like four billion volts, it was a miracle I wasn’t instantly vaporised into ash. As it was apparently Jazz came home to them attempting to bury what they thought was my dead body in the back yard, apparently I woke up during the argument and crawled out and ran into trees for three days”.

“They told us you were missing because you were in another cities hospital! They tried to bury you?!?”. Somehow Jack and Maddie just keep getting worse. Tucker wheezes again, “well regardless of you becoming an asshole, I’m glad you didn’t die, holy shit”, staring at Danny, “is that why you were so weird about my wheelchair? You thought something like that had happened to me?”. He takes Fenton’s wince as a yes. “Ugh fine you’re forgiven for that then, I can’t hold what’s probably severe trauma and ptsd against someone”, pointing at Danny, “you were still a jerk then and now though. And you basically shoving me away was awful and basically wrecked me mentally for a long time”.

Yeah Danny knew neither Sam nor Tucker took him pushing them away well, but being upset or depressed or confused or worried was better than getting caught in an undead fist fight or losing a limb or getting contaminated by him which he had thought back then would have been extremely dangerous. “I thought it was for the best, okay? And I didn’t mean to hurt you when I was basically hurting myself”.

“How the hell was push me away from my best friend ‘for the best’?!?”.

“Because I was all fucked up and I didn’t want my shit fucking you up”. That was part of it, at first anyways. Then it quickly became more of him having to be the hero and get into fights and not wanting anyone getting caught in the crossfires and waiting them to keep the ability to live normal fucking lives unlike him.

Tucker stares at him like he actually somehow gets it, huh, Danny didn’t see that one coming. “So you thought you’d get us sick? Or something? Just by being around us? Okay I know you’ve always been a bit of a dumbass but goddamn it, Danny”.

“I don’t know what the hell is happening in there but I’m taking a piss in the ladies room! what in the!”.

Both Fenton and Tuck (and Phantom for that matter) jerk a little from whoever shouted from outside the bathroom/locker room. Fenton cringing his face up, “right, this is a public space”.

Tucker sighing, “maybe not the best place for this crap conversation”, unlocking his wheels and roll backwards out of the little sink and mirror area doorway, “I’m still mad at you though”.

“That’s fair. I’m not looking to rekindle friendship or whatever”. Danny uses the man’s distraction to have Fenton telekinetically move the vial back into his hand and pocket.

“Seriously. Jerk”.

Fenton shrugs as he moves out of the little doorway, “I only really hang out with ghosts now and I actually am unsafe to be around too much if whoever doesn’t have a tolerance or protective gear, the ecto-contamination and shit”.

“That’s… pretty shitty actually”.

Fenton giving back a snide, “gee thanks”.

“You still shouldn’t have pushed us away. But I guess you still want to do that, so you do you I guess. Its not like I actually know you, or you me, anymore”.

“Yup”. Tucker bashes him in the back of the legs with the chair for that, “hey!”. Danny making Fenton sigh at the glare… and at Dash attempting to drill Phantom about football like that mattered anymore. Phantom couldn’t be sighing at Dash after all, images to maintain and all. “Look, Tucker, you got pissy over me staring at your wheelchair, that tells me your life’s doing pretty alright actually. If I was in a wheelchair and someone was staring I’d assume they were trying figure out how to use it to kill me. I sell weapons illegally and am dating a death god king, I’m not really shit you wanna be involved in”.

“What about Valerie?”, Tucker making a bit of a face, “that soul mate ghost thing I’ve been hearing is real?”.

Danny is absolutely about to throw Val under the bus, servers her right for still hanging around his half dead ass. “She… is a coworker let’s say, a not legal one”, not technically a lie, the Red Huntress wasn’t legally allowed to do what she did, it was just that no one could actually stop her. Thank fuck for that. Fenton huffing, “and we mostly only talk over drinks or if we run into each other during ghost attacks”. Then smirking, “and oh yeah me and Phantom are fucking match made in hell”. His own personal hell of protective desire and pain.

“You know what, you’re right. You’re an asshole, a criminal, and a necrophiliac; I’m out. I almost want to try but you stopped being worth it years ago. Still glad you’re not dead though”.

On one hand Danny wants to smack the guy, on the other hand Danny’s getting exactly what he wanted; and ain’t that just a terrible thing?

“How’d you find out you needed ectoplasm?”.

Oh Ancients, well… nothing was weirder than the truth with that one and fuck it at this point. “First time I ran into a whisp ghost I, kinda, couldn’t, exactly, stop myself from eating it”.

“You… ate a ghost?”.

“It was a really bad day and I’d rather you keep that in confidence”. Man he legit wants to get out of this damn bathroom/locker room now. Ugh. He starts walking to the door.

Tucker makes a gagging sound, muttering, “no one would even believe me anyway. I’m starting to think he did actually do me a favour as kids and that kinda pisses me off a little. I’ve spent too long being mad at that shit ass for me to feel good about that shit”.

Danny making Fenton pause at the door, one hand on it, “dude, I have freaky good hearing, go see your therapist and I hope you have one. You’re not the lost cause in this bathroom”, and then pushes his way out, leaving his old friend and the friendship more firmly behind.

He absolutely has Phantom ‘rescue’ Fenton immediately, throwing an arm around Fenton’s neck and ruffling his hair with the other hand, “I have escaped Dash and him ‘regaling me’ with his glory days”.

Danny makes Fenton sigh to seem tired, “that’s…”, brightening up, “thats good. He really did peek in Highschool, just like he said he would”. A self fulfilling prophecy, Danny pretty much did the exact same. The biggest jock and the biggest loser both fucking themselves up in the end; how ironic.

Danny makes Fenton sigh to seem tired, “that’s…”, brightening up, “that’s good. He really did peek in Highschool, just like he said he would”. A self fulfilling prophecy, Danny pretty much did the exact same. The biggest jock and the biggest loser both fucking themselves up in the end.

Then Val goes and actually rescues his ass, stomping over, “let’s bounce. I don’t want to be here or around these people anymore, and I want to get shitfaced until I start putting holes in walls or pass out on your crappy apartment floor”.

Fenton quirks an eyebrow, “you have literally never been over? How do you know it’s shitty?”.

“Because it’s your apartment”.

“Fuck you”.

Phantom quirking an eyebrow at her and tilting his head, “and who pissed you off?”.

Val grimaces, “Paulina, I swear she needs to get stabbed a couple times”.

Phantom laughing while Fenton gestures at Val with both of his hands, “no. Bad. If you start stabbing little miss pretty puddle I’ll get stuck having to clean up the blood before the cops show up-”. He can feel Tucker’s concerned eyes on him as the man wheels out of the bathroom/locker room. “-and I really don’t feel like being on crime scene clean up duty”.

Phantom perking up, “eh I could just phase it through the ground”.

“Don’t encourage her murderous desire”.

Val grins, though clearly still thinking this is super weird, “no, let him speak, he makes good points”.

“His only point is letting you make a point with a knife point”. She scowls at Fenton’s joke immediately, nice, at least that makes him feel legitimately a bit better. Either way Danny is content to leave this place before shit goes anymore south, and he has frankly had enough of humans and their weirdly boring plain interests. Looking at the crowd, it actually looked like some others had left. Todd, no surprise there. Charlie that he doesn’t think he ever even talked to as Fenton, he’s not sure if they talked in high school either though. Two of the jocks also looked to have bounced, Dash was still her of course and Scott didn’t look like he actually wanted to be talking to him. Ha. Brittany doesn’t look to be around either, meaning Sarah’s probably gone too if she was ever even here.

And then.

Of fucking course.

His ghost sense goes off.

Val’s reaction is instant, her folding out a blaster, the second she notices both Danny’s straightening up, stiff, and glancing around. Danny making both hims relax with annoyed sighs when he realizes who it is or one of the whos whatever. Phantom waving Val off, “it’s an eyeball, don’t”. The woman throws her hands up a bit, clearly annoyed that it was one of the ghosts that Danny was pretty strict on her not fighting.

Danny making Fenton scowl deeply, “oh fucking goddamn it, not those assholes”. Phantom rolling his green eyes fondly before stepping forward some and cupping his hands around his mouth, Danny should at least warn these people, “hey! Non-hostile incoming! They’re probably just showing to annoy me!”.

The reactions is immediate. Guess spending multiple teenage years in a town constantly plagued by ghost attacks tends to stick with you. Everyone pulling away from the walls, and anything box-shaped, and sticking to groups while glancing around in mild panic. The Observant comes up through the floor, jerk, in all their eye-ball shaped ugly cloak wearing green-skinned annoyance. “Phantom-”. Oh Danny can tell they’re here to lecture him or chastise him or something equally annoying and pointless. Nope. He’s not putting up with this.

Fenton smacking Phantom, “make me a suction dart gun construct”. Danny having Phantom do that without hesitation, even if it was a bit harder to make ecto-energy constructs outside of Amity or the Ghost Zone. Phantom passing over the sorta weapon, it has a pump action shotgun reload for comedic effect. Fenton pumping it immediately and shooting the Observant in the head/eye, “not today, eyeball asshole”.

“Phantom-”.

Oh how chastising, Fenton shots him again, “no”. The suction cups are actually sticking, awesome. But he’s got no interest in actually letting the eyeball actually say anything, so Fenton stalks over, putting a finger in the ghosts face, “fuck off, ‘Phantom’ isn’t your goddamn servant”. The Observant doesn’t look remotely chastised which frankly Danny’s a little goddamn ticked off about. These guys were constantly riding his ass and they act like they had some sort of high ground on him which they did not. So Danny has Fenton kick the ghost in the chest and basically jump on their chest, pointing the ‘gun’ in its eyeball/face and shooting it enough to cover its whole iris; its point blank enough to actually injury the ghost. The Observants were always more powerful as a mass than alone.

“Are you done?!”.

Fenton smirking, “no”, and smacking the ghost on the top of their head with the butt of the ‘gun’. Lowing the ‘weapon’ some, sighing tiredly, “now if this isn’t something actually important, I’m going to rip off all of your limbs”. And Danny means that, he will, he’s had it up to here with these guys.

The Observant, seeming to get this, just fucking disappears with a, “you need to be bound”; like he wasn’t aware they hated how much power he had.

“Fuck you. You exist in my favour”, Fenton hurling the ‘gun’ construct at the ground, it bouncing up a bit before dissolving into goo. Stupid jackasses.

“Geez Fenton where was that in high school, what the hell!”.

Both Danny’s jerking, Fenton looking back to Steven, “do you know how many ghosts annoy me because of that asshole?”, gesturing a thumb at Phantom who glances around innocently. Fenton huffing, “and yeah maybe I enjoy annoying the ones that annoy him, sue me”.

What makes it so clear that basically all these people have nothing to do with Amity any more is how all of them look on edge, nervous, unsettled, scared. They don’t ‘bounce back’ instantly and more than a couple eye Phantom nervously like they had just now remembered how arguably dangerous he could be. That Phantom was a ghost and could very well kill everyone in this room without much effort. As if Danny ever would do such a thing, he was a protector and if they wanted to forget that then screw them. Amity always was the weird place where humans and ghosts could actually remotely get along, even that was a crap shoot, humans would always be unsettled by ghosts and trying for genuine coexistence was fucking pointless. These people simply being away from ghosts for a few years and yet acting put off by one that was less human simply showing up was almost insulting to all his effort. Whatever, what did he care if most of humanity was too damn weak to handle not being the top of the food chain. Making Fenton scoff at everyone’s stares, “guess I should get gone, huh?”, and nods his head at Phantom.

Phantom stretching out and floating up to sort of lay in the air on his back, finger gunning at Val, “coming?”, as he moves to hover around Fenton’s head, ruffling Fenton’s hair fondly.

Jason blinking, “you know, I almost felt like I missed Highschool, thanks for reminding me why I absolutely do not”, and wheezes. While Star waves the two Danny’s off, “yeah should have guessed a ghost that wasn’t invited might follow Phantom”.

Phantom chuckling, “what can I say, I’m very attractive”. Making Fenton snort and blush, “shut up, you stupid ghost”. And making Phantom snicker meanly at Fenton.

Kwan shouting, “you better have a cute wedding!”.

Val rolling her eyes at the pair, pocketing her gun, and walking towards them while waving a hand over her shoulder, “bye. This was nice though”, muttering to herself barely loud enough for even Danny to hear, “regardless of certain people”.

Fenton rolling his eyes and waving at everyone, “I’d say you can easily visit me but I made myself hard to find for a damn reason and I vaguely hate most of your guts, peace bitches”. Phantom facepalming, watching Val and Fenton walk towards the door for a beat before looking to the people, him still floating up in the air, “everyone’s free to give me a visit of course, even though the fact that no one had before makes it kinda clear no one will, no hard feelings about that by the by. Besides, when you die we’ll met again”.

Star sighs at him, “that’s needlessly ominous, Phantom”. Phantom shrugging before floating off, “I’m dead, I don’t know what you expect. I can tell that none of you are going to die soon, so there’s that”, and giving them a thumbs up, absolutely ignoring how that doesn’t seem to actually make anyone feel better. It’s not Danny’s problem if ‘normal’ people aren’t comforted with ominous messages about the not so untimely demise, he thinks it would be a good thing knowing you’re not gonna die soon. Like really. He personally would have loved a heads up that he was gonna half die when that shit happened, a little count down or something would have been nice. A little count down to obliterating everything he used to be and wanted to be.

You know.

For the dramatics.

Danny absorbs his duplicate as soon as he’s outside of easy viewing range of the building, Val quirking an eyebrow at him, “I’m guessing you didn’t drive here?”.

“No? Why would I do that? And neither did you”.

She snorts at him, summoning out her board, “well hop on, I’m still down for drinks so”.

Danny eyes the board, “naw I probably should pass”. Bonding wasn’t really a good idea anyways.

She rolls her eyes, “come on, don’t be a stranger”.

“Being a stranger is kinda the point”. He has every intention of just going invisible and flying off, but she grabs his arm and yanks him onto the board before he can follow through on that thought, her muttering about him being a dumbass the whole time. Danny eyeing her, hands in his pockets and just sitting on the board, stupid stubborn ghost hunters.

Though… looking down, it was kinda nice to watch the city sights this leisurely. It’s filled with spots of damage and things being repaired even here in Elmerton still. It was impossible for everything to stay contained in one simple city after all, sometimes Danny debating expanding is human lair a bit more, just to keep more of an eye on more of it. Perhaps that was a speck of greed or just his overprotective nature.

Really it wouldn’t take much, honestly he had the power and ability to take over the entire planet if he so chose. And really, ghosts did crop up everywhere, and further ecto-contaminated cities and towns would just make more places possible to be common ground of sorts.

It wasn’t a bad idea…

Just not a good or human one either. He had to play human games to thrive and be accepted in the human world, even if those games were sometimes stupid and annoying and isolating. Hmmm… maybe he should get drinks with Val, she was at least slightly better with normal human things than him.

Looking down, there’s some patches of green growing in ash. Life from death, strength from destruction. Kinda like him.

She lands them on the ground, Danny standing easily as her board folds up becoming nanobots under and through her veins; an altered state of being similar and not to himself. Her making ‘come on’ gestures at him before heading in to one of the more beat down bars that don’t ask questions and assumes every patron is involved in something shady or another.

And Danny follows. Maybe he was a little too much of a loner.

End.

Prompts: Pretending to be someone's boyfriend for a night was not as high on Danny's list of crazy-ideas-he-should've-said-no-to as, say, agreeing to become the King of all ghosts, but it was definitely up there. Ten years since Danny graduated high school, and fourteen years since his accident. The former A-listers are organizing a high school reunion, and somehow both Danny AND Phantom got an invite… Seriously, how are these things still happening to him? Parents take apart Danny’s telescope for a new invention. Being dead somewhat drastically shuffles around your priorities. It's been a long time since Danny was able to remember what a human would feel to be important. Tucker Foley's terrible, awful, very bad day. No one knows au identity reveal

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phantomphangphucker · 2 days

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Phic Phight - Dal′ton-izm

@tourettesdog

Danny should not be trusted with self care and clean up duty, especially if he couldn’t tell the goddamn difference between ectoplasm and blood.

Danny growls down into his arm, struggling a little to keep all the skin more or less together. Damn, he hated getting nastier injuries, it was always a freaking pain... literally and metaphorically. He’s busy using the other arm to fire off ecto-blasts and make shields to block the return fire. Stupid Skulker and his stupid homing missiles. Stupid ghosts destroying any sense of a normal fucking sleeping schedule. Ugh.

“I will wear you down eventually! And when I do! Then you’re mine!”.

Could he at least get some new lines? Danny snapping back, “tha oni ‘ay ya be owl ta cah eee ‘ine’ is ‘hen Ine ackin’ as a ‘and ‘ine fah ya!”. That wasn’t his best line and it was probably impossible to understand him, but his arm is in his mouth, so he’s kinda focused on things other than puns right now.

Skulker sends off another rocket at him, unsurprising. What is at least slightly surprising is that right when Danny puts up another shield Skulker gets shot by what’s borderline a freaking taser. Danny glancing down at a smirking Tuck peeking out around a corner and congratulating himself. Danny making quick work of capturing the ghost after that and landing on the ground with his arm still in his mouth. Sam popping out in a second and pointing at the ground aggressively.

“You better sit down or so help me”.

Man they were both always so aggressive about making sure he got patched up as quickly and cleanly as possible. It was both touching and annoying, sometimes he still had ghosts to chase! Or he just wanted to go to bed instead of dealing with being bandaged up or stitched or wiped down. Granted the stitching was usually a little more necessary, like it definitely was right now.

So he floats himself down to the ground, back against a wall and opening his mouth to let Sam inspect it and get to work doing patch up.

“Zone Danny, way to really fuck up your arm”.

Danny pouting, “hey blame Skulker, not me. I actually tried to protect myself pretty well I think, it’s not my fault he managed to spear a goddamn grappling hook through my arm”. The guy nearly took his arm off entirely with that shit, dumb jerk. Though that was probably part of the point since the dude wanted trophies and shit, he could absolutely see Skulker freaking mounting his arm on a wall or something.

Sam sighs, wiping his arm down overly thoroughly, “I know I know, it’s just a pain to clean up this level of damage and I’m allowed to worry about your dumbass; also, nice fang marks”.

“Worrying about my ass is fair, sitting on this hard ground is gonna make it go numb”. She smacks him over the head for that one before getting to work on the stitching.

Tuck’s off spraying some of the ecto mess on a wall, that dissolve crap Danny’s folks made works like a freaking charm, like well enough that he’d be legit worried they’re could get away with murder. All three going still for a second at the sound of a hover board, Danny turning him and Sam invisible while Tuck goes and crawls himself under a dumpster. Val/Red doesn’t do more than fly by at least, good. Danny grumbling quietly, “you know, if we didn’t stick around alleyways for cleaned up time, we wouldn’t have to worry about that so much”.

Tuck crawling himself out, whisper hissing, “dude, we can’t leave your mess everywhere. The other ghosts are one thing, you’re different”. Sam only huffing and working a little more quickly on her stitch work, it looked like she was nearly done at least and fuck is he glad his pain tolerance could solidly kick ass these days.

Danny whisper hissing back, “I don’t see how? Even if my parents, so called ghost experts, stumbled upon this, how would they even tell my stuff from any persons or ghosts stuff? My folks aren’t nearly thorough enough to take literally millions of samples”.

Sam pausing a little, “don’t be stupid”.

“I’m not being stupid. Like yes I’m sure stumbling across massive messes and stuff would be very upsetting for the towns folk but people have gotten used to weirder. I mean, I’ve overshadowed Jason, like, eight times now and the guy isn’t even surprised anymore”.

Tuck, scrubbing the edge of a newspaper stand, chuckles, “okay yeah that guy has terrible luck with you, didn’t you also accidentally set his water heater on fire?”, shaking his head and looking underneath the newspaper stand, “and it’s less about people freaking out and more about them wondering why there’s freaking human blood mixed in with the ecto”.

Okay now Danny just goddamn confused. Glancing around at what little remained of the mess as well as looking his -slightly messy again- arm over without moving it, “the heck you talking about? Everything’s glowing, why would anyone think any of this was human”.

“Okay sure, yeah, your human blood glows too but it’s clearly human blood, man”.

“No? It’s not?”. Literally the only difference between ghost ectoplasm and human blood was wether or not it glowed. If his human blood glowed then how would literally anyone know its wasn’t ectoplasm unless they went around sampling literally every drop they could find. Even then if some traces of human blood showed up in an ecto sample it could just be written off as freaking transfer or whatever.

Sam looks up at him like he’s stupid, while grabbing out the wrapping, her pausing at Danny pretty clearly looking goddamn legit confused. “Danny... are you seriously saying you can’t see a difference between your ‘mess’ and everything else?”; she sounds actually worried about him.

Well that was concerning, is he not seeing something they are? Because of the half dead thing? Sure, obviously goddamn dying changed his body, like duh, but he’d like to think he didn’t really lose anything a fully living human had. Or maybe it was because of the life long ecto-contamination? Danny shaking his head results in Tuck rubbing towels in some of the mess in different spots and holding it up at him with a head tilt.

Okay Danny’s going to guess that the towels, or the mess that’s on them anyways, look different to the guy. Still don’t to Danny... “if you’re trying to ask me if I think those towels look different from each other or something, they don’t”, tilting his own head, “how the heck do they look different to you?”.

Tuck drops his arms and the towels right on the ground, fully gapping at him, “dude”.

“Okay now you’re starting to worry me. They’ve both got a glowing mess on them so obviously ecto, the glow is literally the only difference between ecto and blood”.

Sam buries her head in her hands and actually starts laughing, “oh- oh my zone- no, Danny. Oh- ha!”.

“Sam stop laughing, damn it, you’re gonna make me laugh and this should be serious”, Tuck snickers a little anyways before clearing his throat, “Danny, man, Zone, how can you not tell they’re two completely different colours”.

Danny blinking owlishly, “what”. Tuck just losing it at that, sitting on his ankles and laughing into his hands. Wait a minute, Danny blurting out, “are you saying I’m fucking colourblind and just didn’t goddamn notice?!!?”. How???

Tuck wheezes a little more while Sam struggles to contain herself and actually clamp Danny’s wrapping in place. Tuck walking over while fiddling on his pda, shoving it in his face, “okay okay, we, ha, should definitely make sure this isn’t a half-dead thing”, wiggling the pda. “So what numbers in the circle?”.

Danny blinks at the screen. Oh damn it, screw him. There’s no damn number at all, he is so totally colour blind. Groaning and rubbing the hand that isn’t attached to an injured arm down his face, “ugh”.

“Well?”.

Danny sighing, “it’s just a circle, dude. Fuck my half life”. Rubbing his face some more as both of them snicker at him mockingly but also clearly in pure goddamn surprise. Well, at least it wasn’t a dead thing. Yay? Dropping his hand and then using it to gesture at the somewhat still there mess, “so all of this doesn’t look all the same?”.

Tuck laughs, shaking his head and then snorting, “no, man. It’s mostly ectoplasm, which is green by the way. But there’s also splatters and swirls of your human blood, which is red”, he chuckles again, “those two colours are about as different as yellow and black”.

Danny winces, okay so it was noticeable. Shit. Sam patting his shoulder, “you’re patched and at least now I know why you suck at cleaning and were always so lax about it. You would be so screwed without us”.

Okay that Danny can’t help laughing at himself, “oh yeah! my blood and ecto mix would have gotten found out in a month!”.

“Try three days, you combative little shit”.

Danny absolutely sticks his tongue out at Sam for that, but watching his two friends get up and start cleaning the area again; occasionally shaking their heads in disbelief or snickering some more. At least they usually didn’t try and make him help since he was usually supposed to be spending his time healing aka not moving around a ton. Tuck actually left him his precious pda so Danny fiddles with it looking up random colourblindness tests.

…

He doesn’t seem to have any other issues but he fails every red/green one horrifically. Even the ‘super easy’ ones. The universe must really goddamn hate him to make him extremely colourblind but literally only to basically his own blood/ecto. Stupid body, stupid eyes. Wait, him blurting out, “holy shit does this mean that Vlad doesn’t have the same eye colour as me?!?”.

Both of them burst out laughing and fall over each other, smacking each other and random things. Tuck wheezing, “NO!”. Sam snickering, “oh that is too good! I mean it’s sad but ho!”.

Danny sticking his arms out to the side, pda cradled in his lap, “but that means we have literally nothing in common physically? Who would want a son that looks zero percent like them?!?!?”. Their laughter only gets louder and eventually he’s laughing again too.

“What is going on here?”.

All three still, still goddamn laughing though because shit you can’t just stop that shit on a dime. Danny snorts, coming up with something on the fly before Red -fuck is her outfit even actually red????- decides to start shooting him, “I, ha, am apparently fucking colour blind and, ha, these two citizens decided to absolutely lay into me for not realsing there was human blood here”.

“I just flew through here! I thought someone got hurt and was looking for them! You jerk!”, she actually sits down on her board, “so this is how I find out that the only other remotely decent sorta coworker in this town can’t tell if something blood or ectoplasm. Zone that’s stupid and I hate it”.

Danny snorting while Sam and Tuck continue making half assed laughter-fuelled attempts to clean. “What? You gonna give me a way to beep you in case I ever stumble upon a mess again?”, and chuckles to himself.

She groans loudly, “i hate that that’s a good idea”. Which makes Danny bark a loud laugh, “oh man is being fucking colour blind what gets Red to stop ridding my ass! Ha!”, clearing his throat and tilting his head at her in a way he hopes looks puppy-like, “is your suit even red? I will whole ass admit to thinking you picked your colour because the ecto blended into it”.

He can tell she’s staring at him, “I’m going to kill you a second time, Phantom”.

“Been there, tried that. Do something more original”.

Red goes from glaring bloody murder at Danny to looking at the teens who’ve basically cleaned everything, meaning that Val won’t realise the RED human blood had been glowing. “Will you two care if I end the town menace?”.

Sam glares but is still too amused for there to be any real bite to it, “this is the funniest shit I’ve ran into all week don’t you dare sully that”. Tuck just giving an agreeing thumbs up while snickering and wiping off a storm drain.

Red sighing, “that’s fair”, pointing aggressively at Danny, “it is red and ectoplasm does not blend in, zone I hate you”, gesturing at random bits of wall and ground, “now is there an injured person or not?”.

All three shaking their heads immediately, Tuck giving the crappy excuse of, “bad nose bleed plus sudden ghosts plus face-planting into a wall. I’m fine”.

Red scowl could be heard in her voice, “good, now I’m going to bed”, her moving to fly off with a grumbled, “my suit was supposed to remind him and the town of my human blood, stupid ghost jerk”.

Okay fine that is hilarious, eventually Tuck comes over and gives him a high five, “congrats on not getting shot”. Sam shakes her head, “I’m more impressed she’s chilled out even remotely”, pointing at both boys, “but you know that excuse will never work again, right?”.

Danny blinking and smirking, “so what you’re saying is I should start being super cautious and just constantly send photos of murky liquid for a colour check?”.

“As much as I have no problem with you filling my phone with gore, I don’t want the cops to one day question me about that”.

Tuck elbows her, “eh I can set up a fully secure time deletion. Start lowkey stealing all snapchats users after I release it on the masses”.

Danny stretching and swatting Tuck one, “that sounds like you’re attempting to take over the world big brother eye in the sky style”.

“I totally could”.

Sam rolling her eyes, “I don’t even disagree”, her glancing around before nodding to herself, “looks like we’ve dealt with everything. How’s the arm?”.

Danny gives the limb a shake before grinning, “healed as fast as ever. And no seepage on the bandages so no, you don’t need to redo it”.

She puts her hands on her hips, “i don’t think you should ever be the judge of that. But fine, I guess it looks fine. Meaning we should get outta here before someone changes their mind”.

“Yeah yeah yeah”, rubbing his neck, glancing around, and changing back human. Eyeing his arm for changes and shrugging when he doesn’t see any olive murky liquid, “is my blood always a weird mix of colours?”.

Tuck patting his shoulder as they all begin to move out of the alley, “yeah, hence why we always try to hide you or cover it all the time. Did you just think we were being weirdos?”.

Danny rubbing his neck and glancing around, “I mean, yeah? More overprotective than weird”. They both shake their heads and chuckle at him and his generally stupidity.

In the future Danny did absolutely become just as cautious of others seeing his blood as his friends were, much to their relief and amusement.

End.

Prompt: Danny is red-green colorblind. This never caused him much trouble before the accident, but now, well... It would have been nice to know beforehand that his blood was the wrong color.

#danny phantom #phandom #phicphight24 #phic phight 24 #danny fenton #tucker foley #sam manson #phantomphangphucker #have a fic suck my dick #my writing #gothmoth #valerie gray #Danny's a dumbass #blood and injury #colorblindness #colorblind danny

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phantomphangphucker · 3 days

Text

Phic Phight Prompt: The Box Ghost, aka the most un-frightening pathetic nuisance ever, is actually incredibly powerful compared to the average ghost.

Word Count: 1425

For @phantomphangphucker

Summary: There are a lot of different kinds of power. Some are easy to see and others - others take a little more perspective to understand. Of course, realizing that the Box Ghost was both feared and respected within the Ghost Zone is still a bit baffling even after Danny gets to see it first hand.

"Wait, wait, wait." Danny held up a hand to stop Ember before reconsidering and putting it to his own forehead in an attempt to drive off the headache he could feel building there. "Can you repeat that?"

"What am I, a wind up doll?" Her look of disgust made way for an eye roll when Danny dragged his hand further down his face to glare at her over his fingertips. "The Box Ghost will have what we need."

Hand now over his mouth, Danny wondered if he needed to get his ears checked. When she clicked her tongue at him and went to keep moving, Danny quickly followed her gesturing wildly.

"The Box Ghost? Really? As in, the guy who comes to Amity just to grab cardboard boxes and crates? The one who won't stop introducing himself and screaming 'Beware!' - that guy?" Actually, a thought occurred to him and he narrowed his eyes trying to fly ahead of Ember to try and read the truth of it off her face. "Hang on, does he introduce himself because he's trying to use some other ghost's reputation? Is there another Box Ghost out there?"

Ember sped up shaking her head as she sped through the Zone.

"Of course not, anyone would be able to tell that the imposter was lying. Or, well," she winced a little, "no one would believe that guy when he lied. I mean, he's not the best actor. Not everyone's meant for the stage, obviously."

"Obviously." Danny repeated, voice and expression flat before he remembered that he was here to ask Ember for help. Pasting on a friendly smile when she sent him a warning look, he tried for a little more clarification hoping that she wouldn't change her mind. "But how did he become the ghost to see?"

"I'm the ghost everyone wants to see." She reminded him instantly, striking a pose like she was getting photographed before waving off his fumbled response to that. "I know what you meant. For this type of thing it's more that it just falls into his domain."

"Like, a kingdom?" The Box Ghost had a whole realm like Dorothea and Frostbite? Danny almost breathed a sigh of relief when Ember shook her head.

"No, more like a website."

Danny wasn't aware that he could stumble while flying, but he managed it anyway. "Excuse me?"

"No."

Ugh. Ember was sometimes all the parts of Jazz Danny couldn't stand - a big sister without any of the care that made Jazz one of Danny's favorite people. At his groan Ember came to an abrupt stop and reached for her guitar. Danny almost brought ecto to his hands before he realized she was holding it out instead of readying an attack.

"Look, everyone has what they're good at, right? Like I'm amazing at singing and playing my guitar so when I play I can do things through my performance."

"Right." Danny drew out the vowel a bit, following but not really sure where this was going.

"It also means that things pertaining to my domain of Rock Star Sensation are more likely to find their way to me even inside the Infinite Realms." Flicking her fingers, she rolled a guitar pick down her knuckles in a practiced move. "That's why my guitar is always in tune and I usually have all the things I need to play it. Strings, picks, if they fall into the realms there's a good chance I'll find them."

So ghosts frequently found things that related to their obsession. Danny wasn't sure how true that was - that things find their way to the ghosts that wanted them rather than most ghosts only paying attention to things they were personally obsessed with, but the Ghost Zone didn't exactly run on any logic he truly understood so he was going to roll with it for now.

"And the box ghost-"

"Finds boxes." Ember finished his sentence, swinging her guitar back over her shoulder and starting forward once more, more noticeably following the path of a few other ghosts Danny could see in the distance. "And other packages, though he doesn't like those quite so much."

"He finds boxes and keeps them no matter what's inside, got it." Which explained why she was leading him to the Box Ghost for those supplies Frostbite was looking for. "How often does he find more boxes?"

Just how likely was it that Danny would find the laundry list of things Frostbite was looking for?

"Oh," Ember didn't even knock before pushing a double wide set of swinging doors open so they could step inside what Danny now saw was their destination. "Almost constantly, I think."

Goggling at the ghostly equivalent of a big box warehouse complete with rows and rows of aisles that practically scrapped the almost cavernous ceiling, Danny didn't even care that Ember was absolutely snickering at his reaction. "Where do they even come from?"

"They're every package that gets lost in the mail, I think." Ember answered, grabbing his arm and pulling him further into the store. "And there are a lot of lost packages these days."

They passed huge piles of boxes, each stacked higher than the Fenton Works Ops Center, many of which baring familiar logos from various online retailers. Danny snorted before his eye caught on a ghost reaching through the cardboard to triumphantly pull something (hedge trimmers?) from a box only to very quickly place whatever was in his other hand into the box in its place. Looking around at other ghosts who were sifting through the madness or bargaining between themselves Danny noticed something.

"Does everyone bring their own stuff?"

"Money doesn't really mean much here, so like everywhere else in the Realms this place runs on trades." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a few CDs some of which Danny vaguely recognized as being popular a few years ago, all of which wouldn't have fit in her pocket if she weren't a ghost. "The Box Ghost doesn't care about what's in the boxes so long as something is inside the box."

Danny's next question was forgotten as the Box Ghost himself burst intangibly through the boxes on the next aisle over, hands raised with a loud, "I am the Box Ghost!"

After months of being warned by the same ghost with nothing resulting from it other than maybe a few hours of annoyance as he chased the Box Ghost around town before capturing him, Danny watched incredulous as the smaller ghost the owner of this 'store' was threatening cowered, literally tripping over themselves as they searched their pockets for something to put into the box they'd left empty a few minutes before.

Around them the other ghosts scattered as the Box Ghost yanked the offender up by their collar, eyes burning bright and an surprisingly impressive wave of energy rolling off him that even Danny could fee,l before a figurine (in mint condition) was held up in shaky hands as an offering.

There was a pause as the Box Ghost blinked away his rage to inspect it. Then he snatched it from their hands and put it ever so gently back into the temporarily empty box. Giving it a satisfied pat, he then threw out a practiced "Beware!" before vanishing back to wherever he came from.

Danny watched the ghost he dropped snatch up their prize and shoot out the double doors before giving a knowing Ember a wide eyed look.

"Never mess with a ghost over their obsession on their own turf, especially not a guy who gets all his power from the ecto people give off his his warehouse." She warned him.

"But - he's so-" Danny struggled to put it in words. "He never does anything like that in Amity?"

"Not his turf is it?" The pointed look met its mark even before she followed it with, "Besides, you've got his kryptonite."

Baffled, Danny pointed at himself. Ember helpfully pointed at him too. Following her finger, Danny unhooked the thermos from his belt.

"For a guy who is all about boxes and other things cubic, the only thing worse for him would be a sphere."

Aaand there was the Infinite Realm's 'logic' catching Danny off guard again.

"I guess it doesn't matter how powerful he is if I'm always fighting him with the perfect weapon."

"Yep, now get searching. I don't have all day and this place doesn't have any sort of organization."

With a groan, Danny snatched the CDs from her hand and got to work.

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phantomphangphucker · 3 days

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Phic Phight Prompt: The Box Ghost, aka the most un-frightening pathetic nuisance ever, is actually incredibly powerful compared to the average ghost.

Word Count: 1910

For @phantomphangphucker

Summary: After dying in a warehouse collapse, one ghost sets out to make the ghost zone OSHA Compliant one box at a time.

Working with a couple different crews and shifts for a decade or two means getting used to going by a nickname or three. He's not one to linger on the past, but when he thinks back he's pretty sure that there was a stretch of time where he didn't hear his legal name for weeks, possibly months, so adapting to this new green dimension where no one can get his name right isn't difficult.

Or, the name thing isn't.

Asking everyone to call him the Box Ghost is easier than correcting their pronunciation of his actual name. Everyone around here seems to be going by one title after another - so Boxy (his favorite nickname that the others have given him here, but unfortunately too close to other's monikers to use as an introduction) keeps it simple for his own benefit. Explaining things can get frustrating and having to do so repeatedly is boring, so Box Ghost it is!

Making a habit of introducing himself every time he sees someone isn't a new habit, but it makes itself useful here even if he doesn't have nearly as much trouble remembering ghostly faces as he did human ones.

So introductions - easy!

Needing to sound threatening to get his point across? That's more difficult to get used to. Boxy doesn't exactly like fighting, not after losing the few fights he got into when he was alive. But, if a few threatening words is all it takes to make this place safer, he can put on the act.

Because this place - the Infinite Realms - they're sorely in need of his help.

Back when he was alive, Boxy watched countless safety videos and participated in even more inspections over the course of his career. He rolled his eyes, slouching his way through the required checks, going over lists and participating in drills before getting on with his actual work. While he and the others were careful with the boxes they handled (as they'd be on the hook if they weren't), they usually just made jokes about the old cracked and slowly bowing walls. They weren't in charge and it wasn't hurting anyone, what was the harm?

He knew the harm now.

He might not have blood these days, but Boxy swears he can feel it boiling whenever he sees cracked, bending, and broken walls. Can feel the ache in his jaw from clenching his teeth when he looks at sagging, leaking, and collapsed roofs.

The numerous cliffs hanging out into the swirling, glowing abyss he can't do anything about, but the all the other places where these ghosts live - those he can fix.

Newly dead, he tried suggesting improvements he remembered from before. Tried providing examples he'd seen in practice. Tried offers to fix the old castles, the burnt homes, the cracked caverns only to be fought tooth and nail at every turn - often literally. Fighting back was instinct, one he fought more than the other ghosts whose homes he was clearly insulting.

He smothered the impulse right up until the first time he was thrown through a stone wall.

Boxy still doesn't quite remember what happened directly after that, only the result and the result was very good.

When he came to every wall in the area was square, the rooms complete, the roof secure, and the ghost who lived there? Well, they were a little worse for wear, but they brushed off his concerned look with something between a shrug and a shudder.

"Warn a guy." They had said or, rather, muttered before flying into their now safer home and slamming the door.

So Boxy took their words to heart.

"Beware!" He greeted others as he found more buildings in need of his help. "I am the Box Ghost!"

The practice of holding his hands up in a mild threat came later, after a lot more fights followed by a short run of successes - each of which ended with the other ghost cringing away from him.

Boxy still isn't fond of threatening people. He does this for their safety and the safety of others - so that no one ends up like he did, but if that's the only way to keep everyone safe he'll play his part.

Besides, maybe after this he'll move on to what is clearly his true calling - acting! His old coworkers always used to make fun of his attempts to act, but with just a few words and an exaggerated angry gesture or two he seems to be pulling of 'threat' really well!

Then again, maybe he'll stay off the stage. His ghostly powers don't lend themselves to it in the way he's seen with others. He can fly, but he can't teleport. He can stand up to other's blows, but he can't shapeshift or take on their faces.

His powers mostly lie in his interests, which doesn't seem uncommon in the Infinite Realms.

He can move himself - handy for getting around. He can move boxes - something he's so familiar with he could do it in his sleep even before his death, though not having to touch them is something he still delights in. And, most importantly, he can bring buildings up to code.

This last one is by far the trickiest to do. It's hard to explain what he does and how he does it in words. It's something similar to how he always knows which stack of boxes aren't stacked correctly even when they look secure. He can feel the fault lines, taste the breaking points, smell the way the not-gravity of this place pulls on a structure.

He chose 'The Box Ghost' not only because boxes are, obviously, amazing, but because boxes hold up to the pressures of this place better than other shapes. The right angles, the rigid sides, when put together just right they can stand up even under dragon fire or unexpected island collisions.

Of course, leaning into his name and specialties leads to strange consequences.

Something about this place, it twists things. It took a while for him to notice, but the strength of his boxy architecture is improving, but not without cost. He thought it was just experience, but then he tried to keep the shape of a tower as he improved it and something about the rounded walls made it fall apart.

The fight he had with the owner for causing the tower to crumble was less memorable than the testing that needed to be done after that (sure the guy could turn into a dragon, but his castle was more than big enough to trap him in). With his mastery of all things square and box like, Boxy specialized to the point of being unable to not make things square.

It isn't a huge problem, most purposefully non-square things were built with more thought than the broken down buildings he needs to fix, but it is annoying at times.

He doesn't give it much thought after that, other than making a note to tell ghosts of his cubic specialty when he introduces himself, so he continues his campaign, hoping that one day he can share the burden of this quest to ensure safety in the Infinite Realms. Looking back at all those videos and checklists he knows that this isn't a one-person job, he needs the government to get in on it for his work to be effective.

Unfortunately, any attempts he's made to speak to those in charge either leave him with new clients or with frustratingly few answers.

"The king is in forever sleep," is not the answer he's looking for, especially when he's trying to confirm what kind of building codes are currently in use in this place. As more people hear of him, Boxy finds both more and less resistance to his safety crusade. Some invite him in meekly, while others refuse to bend to his (clearly terrifying) threats, instead posing some honestly, quite reasonable questions about the safety of the buildings he's putting in place.

It's while he's trying to find this justification that he comes across the permanent portal for the first time.

"This doesn't belong here!" Surely they'd have some permits up and posted if such a thing was supposed to be built in the middle of a thoroughfare like this! It's not Boxy's first interaction with a portal, but it's certainly the first man-made one he's seen. He takes the time to inspect it from every angle - the only roughly octagonal shape, the poor welds on the metal, the lack of safety measures - it's horrible! And probably beyond his (non-existent) pay grade.

He turns to go report this to the scary knight who guards the king's castle only to nearly get run over by another ghost gunning for the portal.

When he straightens up, he finds himself in a nightmare of safety violations. Boxy stares in horror at the clearly DIY walls, the uneven floors, the stairs with steps that are clearly too tall.

Sure, there's a lot of sciency things scattered around the place in ways that look dangerous, but Boxy isn't familiar with that side of things. He disregards it in favor of what he knows how to fix.

So, of course, that's when the alarms go off. The portal slams shut behind him and lights start flashing. A recording blares too loud for Boxy to understand, but he's done enough drills that he knows what to do.

Quickly, quietly, Boxy exits the building and heads for a safer area.

He waits for a handful of minutes before realizing it wasn't a fire alarm after all and the fire department won't be coming to give an all-clear. Normally he'd head back, but the extra time outside has let him realize where he is.

The realm of the living!

There are side walks! Rows of homes, most of them safe and square! For a moment each of the box like suburban homes glows as he happily resonates with the cubic structures.

It cuts off as a delivery truck drives past.

Boxy's attention is captured especially when he realizes the boxes within are filled with books.

Books! Books in Boxes! Books are just what he was looking for - now he can get examples of building codes for the king whenever he wakes up!

He dives into the delivery truck and gets so lost in the ecstasy of so many good, old-fashioned, cardboard boxes, neatly and professionally stacked inside a box truck that he only comes back to himself after he's introduced himself to someone - warning, threatening gestures and all.

After so many successful fights it's a shock when the white haired teen bests him so easily. Then again, just as the boxes and that truck seemed to energize him, the cylindrical capture device the child pulls on him seems to sap the fight right out of him.

It seems like no time at all before he's back in the zone, staring at that misshapen portal once again. It may be a safety hazard, but that won't stop the Box Ghost. He'll brave the portal and fight as many times as he needs to in order to get the books necessary (and maybe a few more boxes, as a treat) to fix all the broken parts of this Realm.

When the Ghost King wakes up and starts managing this place again, the Box Ghost will be first in line to talk to him - together they'll make this place safe for all ghosts!

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phantomphangphucker · 3 days

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Phic Phight - Acatalepsy

@atropos_aeneas @lwh-writing

Jazz had always been very firm on her opinions on her parent’s beliefs and behaviour, but she was far more firm on her love and care for her little brother.

Chap. 1:

Peremptory

Jazz has had it about up to here, with these so called ghosts, with her parents dangerous obsession and neglect that bordered on abuse, with the town even vaguely entertaining all this foolishness, with a skin tight costume wearing wannabe vigilante. She couldn’t do much of anything about the seeming mass hallucinations. She couldn’t do anything about her parents, she’s spent years trying after all. She couldn’t do anything about the town as a whole, even if she’s still trying to figure out why everyone’s decided that now is the time to go along with her parents insanity. However she can at least try to do something about the vigilante, she can talk to him and try to get it through his head that feeding into this was bad and if someone real took him seriously he could get really hurt.

It wasn’t like it would be all that difficult to chase the boy down, he got spotted multiple times a day so all she had to do was wait for a ‘ghost sighting’ and track him down. She, once again, was proven to be firmly correct. She’s easily able to spot him at the next ‘ghost’ sighting; she’d really like to figure out what was causing so many people to either have hallucinations or to just be going along with certain people’s delusions.

The thing that gets her though… is he is actually glowing from head to toe. How? Some sort of spray perhaps? That seemed like a lot of effort just to play into all this foolishness. Was this a teen who genuinely desperately wished to be ‘a superhero’ and thus took the first chance he could get? That was incredibly unhealthy and spoke of a very unbalanced and unkind childhood. Neglect perhaps? Or parentification maybe? Trying to make up for childhood feelings of helplessness?

Now how to best get his attention? pretending to be injured or under attack posed the risk of attracting her parents or genuinely worrying the teen. She couldn’t simply wait around to talk to him, as he was known to not stick around after catching ‘the ghost’. Perhaps she can flex her big sister muscles and point aggressively at the ground in his direction? he looked young enough that that very well might work.

Well that’s the best she’s got so that’s what she does. Waving in the air at the teen and then pointing at the ground very firmly with a ‘you better come here, mister’ eyebrow. The teen looking cautious and unsure as he lowers himself to the ground, her absently wondering how he’s managing this floating ability; cords? a wire system? magnets?

The teen giving an awkward, “yes, random citizen?”. Oh he’s trying to pretend he doesn’t know exactly who she is, with her parents it’s no surprise that a so called ‘ghost’ would know them and thusly her. Her parents have talked about shooting at him, she’s been on the receiving end of their inventions enough to know how unpleasant that could be.

Jazz crossing her arms at the ghost, “I think it’s about time we talked”. The teen seems more fidgety at that, and she doesn’t want him running off. Gesturing at a bench and making a point to smile softly, comfortingly, “how about we sit down? It’s nothing bad, I promise. I just want to understand why you’re doing this?”.

Somehow she gets the feeling that actually annoys him but he sighs, ‘lands’ on the ground, and walks with her to a more out of eye sight picknick table than the bench she’d pointed out. Was he paranoid of being seen in general? Or of being seen talking to her specifically? The later she could understand due to her parents reputation, but the former? If it’s the former then she’s even more confused and concerned over why he’s doing this… unless he’s suffering from genuine delusions himself and truly believes his ‘heroics’ are necessary.

What she gets from him is snark, defensive snark. He’s absolutely paranoid and nervous. “So what does the daughter of the ghost hunters constantly shouting about shooting me and how I’m evil, want with me?”, him gesturing at her body, “you aren’t armed so doubt they sent you to try and shoot me”.

Even though he’s being defensive, he’s not wrong either. Her parents did shoot at him and did tell everyone they could that all ‘ghosts’ including ‘the ghost boy’ were evil ‘ectoplasmic’ manifestations of ‘post human consciousness’. If ghosts were somehow real, which they were not, it would make sense to behave defensively regarding her parents and anyone closely associated with them. She puts her hands up in a surrendering motion for a few seconds, “no ‘weapons’ or ‘inventions’ I promise. I meant what I said, all I want is to know why you’re doing everything. I’d simply like to ask you some questions and hope to get honest answers in return”.

He seems… more annoyed but less fidgety, less paranoid. He believes her but finds what she’s doing annoying. Perhaps he’s been taken to therapists before? And has had less than positive interactions with them for one reason or another? She’s fully aware that the wrong therapist to patient relationship can do more harm than good, and that there are bad actors out there and those who are simply looking for the paycheck. Unfortunate, but true. “I’m going to be annoyed if this winds up on the news but alright”, making ‘go ahead’ gestures at her, “ask your questions”.

Jazz’s response is near automatic, “I believe in absolute confidentiality, it will not”. He eyes her with those green eyes, expensive contacts she imagines, and seems to take her word for it. So she asked her first question, “throughout your childhood, have you always had an inclination towards vigilantism? A desire to monitor your environment for signs of deviance or punish those who do wrong onto others, perhaps?”.

The teen scoffs, actually scoffs, at her, “my home is and was always ‘deviant’, looking for that would be dumb. And I don’t like bullies sure, but no, I’ve never wanted to ‘punish’ people’”, he shakes his head softly, like he’s trying to be gentle with her, “I’m not a vigilante, I’m not fighting crime or evil doers or whatever. I’m not Batman or robin and I’m not trying to be. I’m just protecting people and ghosts, and a little bit of socialising”.

She’s not one hundred percent sure if he’s simply really good at going along with the ‘ghost’ bit or if he actually believes in them. “So you would describe what you’re doing as ‘protecting the masses from harm’ then, yes? Would you say that’s for people’s general physical safety or for protecting societal integrity and status quo?”. There was a very big difference between the two after all. “And why would you seek to go about protecting in this manner? Rather than working towards a career in a protective field, such as a police officer or fireman?”.

Now this, he actually looks like he’s genuinely considering her question before responding, “physical safety, of everyone including myself. Your parents are menaces.-”. She can’t argue that last statement. “-I never wanted those kinds of jobs, I didn’t really even want this one at first”, shrugging, “no one else was or could, no offence but also full offence, deal with all the ghosts causing problems”.

… He might actually genuinely believe this ghost thing. She can acquiesce that if ghosts were somehow real that her parents would not actually be all that great at dealing with them. Her dad was far too forgetful and easy going, while her mom would be held back by her dad. The fact that everyone justly thought them insane wouldn’t help either. “Physical safety, of others and ourselves is important, however aren’t you putting yourself in danger by doing this? From ‘ghost hunters’, yes like my parents, and the ‘ghosts’?”; it’s incredibly hard to keep the disbelief out of her voice but she needs to tackle the ‘superhero’ identity first. Maybe getting him to see how illogical and backwards it ultimately was would help break the delusion.

“Obviously I’m putting myself in danger, but I am either way-”. That makes her furrow her eyebrows at him. “-nearly every fight I get into I did not start, they’re picking fights with me. Some super directly by literally hunting me down to try and beat me up for one reason or another. Others are more invading my territory I guess, and harming those people and objects inside it”; it looks like that genuinely really bothers him on a deep level.

Now if he is actually just being attacked by these mass hallucinations or projections perhaps then self defence did make sense. But if these were mass hallucinations why would they be specifically targeting one person like this? That wouldn’t make sense. Now if they’re projections that someone, who is definitely insane, is creating then why are they going after this one teen so much? “Do you believe you know why you’re being targeted so much? Outside of my parents being crazy”. As for him being apparently territorial… “and why do you view Amity as your territory?”. Yes people did often claim their city or town as part of them and then part of it, but to be explicitly territorial and possessive was abnormal.

He actually chuckles a little, “outside of your parents being crazy, it varies. They usually tell me why, though Boxy seems to just be looking to get beat up? Or he is insanely nuts about how strong and scary he is. The Lunchlady threw stoves at me because her food got messed with. Skulker wants to skin me, which is very gross and something I want nothing to do with. Plasmius is angry I won’t ’let him adopt me’, and wants to constantly try to prove he’s better and stronger than me in every way. I could go on”, sighing, “as for the town? It’s just is my town? That’s really all there is to it. It’s mine and other ghosts aren’t welcome to harm anything inside it”. He says that like it’s a given, like it’s obvious and simple, like it’s not supremely abnormal and unhealthy.

If someone is indeed creating and controlling projections then they are a very cruel person, as it seems that this teen genuinely believes these reasonings; meaning it is unlikely this is some sort of game or set up that the teen is in the know on. “What if the ‘other ghosts’ aren’t doing any harm? Would they be welcome then?”.

He blinks, looking a bit confused and surprised by that question, before humming to himself, it vibrates oddly. “I suppose so. If Cujo was less accidentally destructive I’d be fine with him running around, he’s pretty much just a dog after all. A green dog but still just a dog. And Piondexter I would leave alone since I know he doesn’t actually mean harm, he just really hates bullies and unties their shoes and shit”.

Right, that Valerie girl claimed a ‘large green dog’ had gotten her dad fired and destroyed practically all of their belongs and that said dog belonged to ‘the ghost boy’. This ‘Poindexter’ though, “I’ve heard the ‘stories’ about the ‘green dog’, but I can’t say I’m familiar with Piondexter”.

The teen shrugs, “he lives in a mirror in that ‘haunted locker’ in Casperhigh, he can kinda use it like a personal portal”.

Oh not that stupid rumour. Of course who or what ever is causing all of this included that into everything. “Is there any others that seem tied to local myth and legend?”.

The teen shakes his head immediately actually, “no. Piondexter seems more like a coincidence than the trend.-”. Why would only one local legend be utlisied and not all of them? Strange. “-Just like how most of the ghosts want to fight and cause some chaos, so him being mostly chill isn’t the trend either”.

Honestly, that sounded a bit like her parent’s view of ghosts, just far less inhumane and illogical. This teen believed the ‘ghosts’ wanted to fight and cause chaos out of fun, it seems. Whereas her parents just thought they were inherently evil, living hating, monsters. She can admit this teens view point is far more logical. “So you believe these ‘ghosts’ are doing this out of enjoyment? Rather than being villains, or evil for that matter”.

“Some are just assholes, like people who pickpocket people in wheelchairs. Fighting is just, kinda part of how ghosts socialise, most aren’t actually trying to seriously hurt me or the citizens, they just forget how fragile the living can be; and that I’m not a freaking mind reader. Also more than a few of the ghosts who’ve shown up here have been to jail multiple times”.

So there’s some sort of judiciary system in his mind? Or is this something conjured up by the projection controller? A way to make it seem more believable perhaps? But in that case wouldn’t it make more sense to simply go along with what her parents say fully and have them be simply evil monsters? She will give this some credit on being a bit more complex than she had initially thought though. “Do you know how this jailing system works?”.

He blushes… green? How? At that, “not really, no. I do know that each prison is basically ran like a freaking dictatorship by the warden though, and that the prison that’s super close to your parents portal, you know on the ghost side, is ran by a hardass with a serious sadistic streak”.

She blinks, he says that like he’s been ‘on the other side’ of her parents contraption -because she is not calling it a freaking portal, that’s absurd- and like there actually is something on the other side of it. “You’ve been to this ghost side?”; that question is pure curiosity, no diagnosis involved.

He quirks an eyebrow at her, “of course? Every ghost has? That’s kinda where we’ve all come from?”, running a hand through his impossibly pure white hair, that she honestly thought was a wig but up close she can tell that’s not the case. “Honestly? The ghost problem is that portals fault”, gesturing with his hands, “your parents made a permanent, frequently opening, pass into the living world. Of course ghosts were going to take advantage of that, they know exactly where and when they’ll come out and they have a guaranteed ticket home. Which fine, I do speed along, since I just send every ghost I catch back, but that’s not the cause for them being here in the first place”. He eyes her for a beat before sighing and giving her an amused smirk, “you don’t believe in ghosts, do you? You think this is all a big conspiracy, or mass hallucinations, or projections, or just a bunch cock and bull people are making up for some reason. Am I right?”.

The way he says that tells her that she was right that he wasn’t ready to have to face that reality yet. Sighing at him and trying to be gentle about shaking her head, “no. No I do not. The idea of souls alone is unproven and highly unlikely. The idea of those souls creating their own forms out of energy and existing in a connected realm seems too far fetched. This isn’t a belief in the afterlife as a form of coping with death, which would be perfectly healthy and often religiously significant”.

“So if you don’t believe in ghosts, why are you even talking to me?”. He obviously thinks she believes that he’s one of these ‘ghosts’.

She shakes her head at him, “you’re not fantastical like all the images and reported sightings of ghosts are. You’re physical, you always read as more solid and human. A teen who’s dressed up and seen a chance to be the hero they’ve always wanted to be perhaps. Your behaviours vary according to situation, you have clear fight or flight. Your behaviour shows far more than simple: show up, cause chaos, and leave”. She’s not going to tell him that she hasn’t quite decided if he’s simply experiencing the same hallucinations or projections as everyone else, or is actually suffering delusional issues.

For whatever reason that makes him more nervous. He makes an aborted attempt to rub his neck before seemingly releasing that wasn’t very ‘professional hero’ of him, clearing his throat, “you pay way too much attention, geez”, shaking his head and frowning at her in a way that feels like pity, “spend any amount of time around any ghost and you’ll find the same stuff. Skulker makes awesome lemon creme pies and has a girlfriend. Technus keeps changing up his style to seem ‘cool’. Half the time Johnny and Kitty show up it’s because they’re having a lovers spat again. They’re people. Your parents aren’t crazy ‘cause they believe in ghosts, they’re crazy because they think ghosts are emotionless evil monsters.-”. So he’s delusional, not good… but outright dismissing him would do no good. He puts a hand to his chest, “-I’m not dressed up in some costume, or wearing contacts, or using some glow spray. I died in this, and no you don’t get to ask about the how of that”, he stares a bit before continuing, “I don’t breath, Jazz Fenton, does that sound alive to you? I certainly pretend to around humans, because they get freaked out otherwise. If you hook me up to an ekg you’ll get a whole lotta nothin’. If you were as cold as I am you would be severely hypothermic and dying”, and for the first time a so called ‘ghost’ touches her.

He’s solid yet feels like static, and he’s right, his skin feels ice cold. How? He’s solid, clearly a person. A bit unintentionally she watches his chest, it doesn’t move. No rise and fall. Nothing. Her furrowing her brows at him, still holding his arm, “this doesn’t make sense”.

The teen shrugs at her, “since when does everything ever make sense? I’m dead, that’s really all there is to it. Ghosts are cool with being dead so it doesn’t bother us, but at least I’m aware that the living aren’t super cool with death. You believe I’m real and all the others aren’t because I act more like what you know, aka, living humans”.

She frowns, could that really be the case? Her parents be both right and wrong? and her be wrong entirely? But that never happened, she was always in the right when she set her mind on something. When she was wrong it was over simple things she had no real opinion on. Matters of taste or what the weather would be like, perhaps what in all was going to be on a test. When it came to matters of the mind, behaviours, human nature, states of being; she was always right. Always. There was no real proof for souls, and thusly ghosts, none. Even studies claiming to be able to determine the weight of a soul were ludicrously biased and far too open for interpretation.

And yet…

Here was someone who was clearly not a hallucination nor a projection. He was solid, there was thought behind those green eyes, he could hold a conversation. Yet he did not seem to breathe, and cold radiated off of him like his insides were packed with dry ice.

He was a person, a being, and yet wasn’t behaving as one, a living one. She eyes him as he pulls his arm away, “so you don’t ‘float’ by a string system or magnets perhaps?”.

He attempts to cover up a laugh, she doesn’t even feel insulted because this is just all too strange, her being wrong. He shakes his head, “no, I don’t”, gesturing at the glow over his suit, “my energy, my ectoplasm, simply grabs onto the air particles and pulls me along as I want to”.

Ectoplasm shouldn’t be real. It shouldn’t be possible. “Ectoplasm doesn’t exist”.

“I am quite literally made of it so yeah it definitely does”, him then humming and tilting his head, then he… spits into his hand. Ew. Boys. EuGH. She absolutely recoils when he ‘offers’ said hand to her, but… all that’s in his hand is a glowing green goo-like substance. He… sticks his finger in it and pushes it around before pulling his finger up, the green substance sticking to his finger and stretching in strands of goo. It looks to be getting slowly absorbed into him until it’s all gone.

That should be impossible, shouldn’t it? She just witnessed an impossibility. But if she’s witnessing it then it isn’t impossible, improbable perhaps but not impossible. And it was impossible for any living mammal to survive without oxygen, meaning that no matter how improbable, what he’s saying must be true. What came out of his mouth he absorbed through his finger… as if it was a part of any area of his body rather than specialised by area as it would be for a living mammal. She stares at his hands, which are now simply resting on the table while he waits for her to think. “So, you’re a ghost and ghosts are real?”.

“Yup”.

“And the afterlife is real”.

“Bit more complicated than that but yup”, he snorts, “Zone I barely understand a quarter of it”.

Was that unusual? She doesn’t know. She feels like everything’s out of balance now. Like she doesn’t really know anything anymore. Like she’s fallen into the god complex trap. Where she’s convinced herself she’s infallible and perfect. Perfectly logical. Perfectly rational. Perfectly understanding. Perfectly right. “And the towns plagued by the dead”.

“Eh, it’s more like a hot spot, a vacation with fist-a-cuffs being the main dish on the menu”.

“And… it’s my crazy parent’s fault”.

“I accidentally made the connection actually work, so only partly”.

“You… did?”.

“Yup”.

Was… that part of why he was doing this? A sense of responsibility perhaps? “So you feel responsible? Like if you don’t, someone getting hurt will be, in a way, your own fault?”.

He shrugs, “I have the ability to help, so I help, and Amity is mine”.

This still didn’t make sense though, why… this ‘ghost’? Why was he acting as a protector and claiming this town to be his? “Why you?”.

The smile he gives her is a bit rueful, “I was here first. This town was my home long before these other ghosts made some kind of game out of stirring shit in it”.

“So you haunt this town? Why?”.

“Because it’s mine, there really ain’t anything more to it”.

That still seems illogical to her, “wouldn’t it be easier to go ‘haunt’ somewhere else?”.

“Easier, but wrong”, he shrugs, “no ghost in their right mind would abandon what’s theirs just because some other ghost is being an asshole”.

So then were these ‘ghosts’ territorial to a fault by nature? Intentionally putting themselves in harms way for ‘their possessions’? That seems so foolish, to risk throwing away one’s life over objects and places… but then again, this boy… wasn’t alive, was he? She, logically, can’t ascribe living values on someone non-living. A strange thought in and of itself. “So you have no issue being involved in fights and risking injury, while also taking great issue with loss or harm to what you claim as yours?”.

He chuckles, genuinely, “oh I also just enjoy a good fight, you know? Stretching my ectoplasmic hide and whatnot. Like you guys and stretching those muscle things”, pursing his lips, “but if I get my arm lopt off I can just slap that shit right back on or reform a new one. Yeah I get hurt, yeah it’s painful, but it ain’t that serious. I mean I’m probably totally gonna pick a fight I can’t win someday and that’ll be that. The way the cookie crumbles and all that”.

“So you don’t care that you might die- stop existing?”.

“I care about my own end, simply less than you care about yours. I’d rather risk being ended than not protect”. The way he says that had such a firm definiteness to it that it sounded like an unmovable unalterable fact. No different from the colour of the sky or the name of their planet. Unchangeable and absolute.

So for him, this was need. It was a drilled in fact of who and apparently what he was. Something every person in Amity could bend steel around. That was sort of… a comfort actually. With this new reality that ghosts are real, that her parents are right, that this town is truly plagued by death, that it even needed a ‘protector’ at all. It made sense to feel comforted, after all weaker prey animals always felt safer with a larger more dangerous animal protecting them. The sheep relied on the dogs, and the dogs fought the wolves even if it died doing so. “Wouldn’t it be better to get rid of the portal?”.

He’s response is immediate and almost aggressive, “no”; his eyes even have a brightness to them they normally did not. His eyes could change brightness… that was bizarre to witness. Perhaps, in his apparent accidental aid in its connection, that he hasn’t expanded upon, he became aggressively fond of the device. He shakes his head and the light dims, “anymore questions about my whole existence thing? Or attempts to ‘analyze’ me?”.

She shakes her head slowly, she needed to digest all of this, think on it all. “No. I suppose, if you truly are not human, there’s no rationalising you to me, and no rationalise myself to you”.

“You say that as if I don’t remember being human. You’ve never been a ghost, I’ve been human”.

Jazz smiles a little at that, “so something else my parents are wrong about”; it was comforting to know they were still wrong about a lot of things, just not everything.

He waves her off, “eh, I’m kinda a weirdo. Don’t think too much about it or you’ll hurt yourself, you over analyzer”. He sounds honest and she didn’t realize then how glad she’d be for that.

Chap. 2:

Reticency

These days Jazz had a lot of opinions about ghosts, some were complicated some were simple. Ghosts were real was simple. Ghosts were her towns pride and joy even if they also hated them was simple. Ghosts were mostly annoying was simple. Ghosts were possible to call friends was complicated. Ghosts were complex intelligent sentient beings was complicated. Ghost hunting was a real profession was complicated.

The Box Ghost being weak and not the least bit frightening was simple.

Danny Phantom being her brother was complicated.

Her parents being so wrong on ghosts that they’re best ignored was simple.

Her finding out about her brother’s ‘alive’ status without him knowing and thus her having to ignore that she knows was complicated.

If she had it her way, Danny would have told her on his own, himself. She wouldn’t have just stumbled on it, on him. She wouldn’t have had to realise in a random back alley that her brother was dead. Had died. She never noticed. Their parents never noticed. Yet somehow he was happy like this, stronger as a person like this. She knew that for a fact, she knew that more strongly than she’d ever believed ghosts weren’t real.

Sometimes she’d worry that he was suffering, that he needed help and a diagnosis, then she’d always remember how stupidly honest and genuine he’d been about enjoying fighting and being alright dead. But still, it was impossible for her to like her brother being dead, which was a dilemma all of its own. Especially when his friends seemed to feel no different about him, seemed to see him no different; as his big sister she had to give him the same. She knows she’s right that it would hurt him if she wasn’t completely okay and supportive of him being as he is, and she’s sure she’ll get there she just didn’t have enough of the facts, enough of the knowledge, to feel comfortable and assured just yet. It was a work in progress.

So she didn’t tell him she knew. She gave lies and ignorance to his face just like he did to hers. Because she wanted to be as okay with it as he was. Because she wanted him to tell her himself, to confide in his big sister. Even if he was confiding about being dead. Because she wanted to understand ghosts before hand. At least now she knew what he had meant by weird, being able to still look human. And at least she knew why he didn’t want the portal destroyed so badly, it didn’t take a genius to realise his accident with it had been what resulted in his demise. In a lot of ways that made her hate the machine, but he cleaned that thing almost obsessively; it was the one part of the lab he was genuinely thorough with. It was as if it was sacred to him, near and dear. And really? It was. It was his grave after all, as disturbing to her as that was. Perhaps it was something of a coping mechanism to him, part of grieving that he could only complete in part because he hadn’t ever moved on. It was one of his possessions, like everything in his room, she used to worry about how oddly possessive her brother had become over his things.

Now she knew.

One thing she doesn’t know is what happened to his body, his living body that died, and she honestly doesn’t want to. That’s one unknown she’s fine leaving as an unknown.

But she’s very glad he was honest with her, when she sat him down as Phantom. Honest about how he felt about everything. Honest about being dead. Honest about remembering himself. Honest about trying and wanting to come off less inhuman. She’s proud of him for that honesty alone, even if she’s also proud of him for many many other reasons. From how he chose to be a wannabe vigilante that was more a genuine hero these days, to how he interacted with fellow ghosts.

He really was trying for coexistence, regardless of their parent’s bigotry.

And now a lot of the town agreed with him even, he was doing it, was achieving something full grown adults seldom could. He was being a protector both in the physical sense and in the societal sense. Honestly? He somewhat was like Batman. So yeah, she was incredibly proud of him. That pride didn’t stop their interactions from being a bit awkward for her though. Especially when he was Phantom.

Why?

Because she had to pretend she was just ‘another random citizen who also just so happened to be the towns primary ghost hunters and ghost experts daughter’ instead of being his big sister. Had to pretend she didn’t know exactly who he was and all that he was juggling. That Amity’s hero was also a struggling teen. Had to pretend like she was doing right now.

Zone, did she ever hate getting caught up in a ghost attack, even if actually physically seeing the reminder that her brother was having fun and could actually hold his own was a needed reassurance for her.

It was that science technology ghost that somehow managed to be incredibly outdated. TechMaster? CompWiz? She could never quite get all of their names right, especially since they were so different from human ones; something else she’d like to understand, even Danny had gone with an altered non-human name. The ghost has taken over the mall again, and right when she’d been in the bookstore looking for new published ghost-related studies to read and maybe figure things out better with. She was lacking clarity on how, exactly, ghosts fuelled themselves; she knew they needed ectoplasm, or energy in general, but that didn’t explain Danny being in Amity constantly. He’d always been fine going without food for extended periods of time and she doesn’t want him carrying on that trend with ectoplasm.

“TREMBLE BEFORE MY TECHNOLOGICAL WRATH! AND! MY RAZER BACKLIT MOUSEPADS!”

Like she’s said, ghosts being annoying was a simple fact. She’s fairly certain he doesn’t know what ‘backlit’ actually meant, not that she’s ever heard of a backlit mousepad herself though she imagines Tucker had one.

“Oh come on Technus!”.

Ah right that’s his name. Her poking her head out from around a coffee table for the little local coffee shop inside the bookstore, wincing to herself when Danny gets stabbed by a hard plastic square thing with a cord attached to it. He rips it out and whips it back like a frisbee as if the injury means nothing to him. Which she guesses is the case, he got hurt a lot which was hard to see on tv, but he was also more durable with improved healing; that didn’t make it much better, she knows he can feel the pain of it. And she’s painfully reminded of the statement he’d said like fact about one day picking a fight beyond his capabilities.

Danny kicking the other ghost into a wall, ecto-blasting him right off the bat after; he even blows off his finger with a goofy smirk making her roll her eyes and laugh a little to herself. He’d always been such a silly kid, it’s nice that death didn’t kill that.

Then ‘Techous’? phases through the wall and sends her table flying, leaving her stuck crouched on the ground behind a ghost hoping he doesn’t notice her. This one was oblivious enough to actually not notice, thankfully. Her brother notices her crouching stock still immediately though, of course he does, she’d have to bite her tongue to avoid chastising him about situation awareness otherwise.

His eyes don’t linger on her, his eyes don’t even widden, the only sign he saw her was how he wasn’t shooting at the ghost and instead crossing his arms judgmentally, “dude, did you really have to wreck a local coffee shops wall? This place actually lets me buy the good stuff and now it’s gonna take forever for them to reopen. You suck”. His caffeine addiction worries her sometimes, but from what she’s read and learned on her own terms he should be fine, being an energy based being had its perks after all.

“I! CARE NOT FOR YOUR ‘COFFEE’!”. The ghost actually uses air quotes. “I CARE ONLY FOR MY TRUE DOMINATION!”.

Danny smirks, “you know there’s some pretty advanced tech in those espresso machines”. At least she knows if he isn’t sure he could win with pure might, he’ll use his mouth and try to quip his way into victory.

The ghost looks completely delighted, “THERE IS!?!”, and turns away to look at said espresso machines, Danny smacking him over the head with his thermos immediately and ‘sucking’ him in it. How that thermos worked still confused her a little, it was far too small to fit all that it could and did inside it, rationally.

Danny looks down at her, still floating a few feet up in the air while she’s still crouching, protective desire practically bleeding out of him, “you good, random citizen?”. She also doesn’t understand why he still bothered with that ‘random citizen’ phrase.

She stands up and puts her hands on her hips, “it’s Jazz, you know this. No one actually believes you don’t know their names by now and a concerningly high amount of deeply personal information about them. Do you keep using that phrase as an attempt to lie to yourself about knowing the townsfolk overly well? And that was very manipulative of you with Electrus”. She’s positive she got the ghosts name wrong again.

He blinks disbelievingly at her, “his name’s Technus, he screams his name every time he shows up?”, shaking his head, “and so what if I do? Let me have my lies”.

“Said lies are hardly healthy, mister. If you’re going to continue with being this towns hero, you should aim for quality mental health”.

“I am a model of mental health!”.

Oh he did not just quote a Batman meme at her?!? Zone he was such an utter goof. “You most certainly are not”, shaking her head, Danny and his quips that riled pretty much anyone and everyone up. Yes it could be effective in a fight, and for distracting people from traumatic and dangerous situations, but she’s had a lower tolerance for that pretty much all her little brother’s life. “Now that you’re done ‘socialising’, is there anything I need to-”, sighing, “-‘report’ to my parents?”.

He shakes his head without hesitation, as if going from quips to business so immediately wasn’t remotely jarring; which to him she imagines it mustn’t be, his mind functioned in a more combat and chaos setting after all. “No, Technus didn’t cause too much of a mess beyond this and having them looking everything over would just get in the way”, smirking, “they definitely wont find any new samples from little ol’ me”.

At least he’d gotten better at that. At not leaving behind his ectoplasm beyond the burnt off air born particles he left everywhere he went, just like any other ghost. She’s not sure if he’s realised that she’s been destroying any samples of liquid ectoplasm of his their parents find… if he did, he never let on. He absolutely did know that she knew that he didn’t want them having samples of him, she’d caught him in the lab twice now wrecking either samples or inventions. He also ‘stole’ their inventions for his own use a lot, she truly doesn’t get how their parents haven’t realised that. All they ever really caught on to was him stealing a Fenton thermos and somehow getting it to work, they were always trying to see if they could get it back from him too, looking if he dropped it because ghosts ‘were too singled-minded to keep attention on both a fight and holding a thermos’. At this point her parents being wrong was becoming less ‘ha! I knew they were wrong’ and more genuinely frustrating in a ‘can’t you see the harm you’re doing’ way.

The biggest help she could be to her little brother had always been dealing with their parents. Before he died and after. They never cared enough for either of them and Danny had always been too much of a trouble magnet, to have survived that house a child without her. Now the house tried to shoot him if he let too much of his energy seep out of his skin; which was thankfully something he was good at avoiding most of the time. Nodding with a reassuring smile at him, “good. Now, you’re getting enough ectoplasm right?”.

He groans, with his entire body, “why did you have to go from denial to mothering, ugh”, nodding his head, “yes, mom. I can handle being outside of the Zone a lot”. He doesn’t know she knows he’s effectively never in ‘the Ghost Zone’, which is entirely why she’s worries. She understands that it’s part of him being ‘weird’, even if her understanding of just how ‘weird’ he was was far too limited for her liking, but regardless worrying is what she does. And remembering the first time he ever called her ‘mom’ as a kid and meant it was always a little depressing.

Her quirking an eyebrow at him, “caffeine probably is not the healthiest replacement, you know”.

“Energy’s energy”.

She sighs at that, she didn’t know exactly how true that was. If he was that different from most ghosts. Then he does something that really throws her off, unclipping his thermos and offering it to her? “Will you give it a rest if I let you empty this for me?”. He says that lightheartedly, like it’s a joke, but she knows instantly this is some kind of test in his mind.

He wants to know what she’ll do, what she’ll do with something so useful and important to him; a genuine possession. She knows he has a test to study for, so it will save him time in the long run. But will she come off as ‘like her parents’ if she agrees? How would she go about returning the thermos to him? She obviously can’t simply leave it in his bedroom, that would be announcing that she knew so loudly that she might as well just tell him now instead. Sure doing that would give him the knowledge that she knew about him, without effectively forcing him to talk to her about it, to confront her about it. She stands by that she’d rather him tell her on his own volition entirely, however. That he’d eventually no longer feel the need to protect her from him, or himself from her. “And you’ll get it back from me how? Breaking into my room isn’t very heroic of you, not to mention would hardly save you time”.

He shrugs like it’s nothing, it’s distinctly not nothing though, “I’m literally around Amity multiple times a day, I can catch up to you before school easy enough”.

“This still seems less like a matter of convince, Phantom”.

“It’s a matter of not dealing with the Fenton house hold”.

That’s a lie and she knows it, she simply can’t tell him that. A ghost wanting to avoid a ghost hunters house was logical after all, if it wasn’t for the fact that he slept in it. Shaking her head and holding out her hand for the thermos, the idea of getting caught by her parents with this was a bit nerve-wracking but if it would get him to trust her more then it’s worth it. Plus… perhaps getting to talk to this ghost instead of simply releasing it immediately would be a good idea. “Fine, but if you make me late to class I won’t be impressed”.

And then suddenly she’s got Phantom’s thermos in her hand, something so many wanted to get their hands on for one reason or another. It was a little startling, a little heavy in both the physical and emotional sense, she grips it like it’s as important as it actually was. She can feel the cold of him radiating off of it, the cold that gave away so explicitly what, exactly, he was and wasn’t. Danny eyeing her, caution in his eyes, did she do the right thing? Would he wonder over what she’ll do with it so much that he won’t actually be able to study? Will he send his friends to ‘keep an eye on her’? So many possibilities and uncertainties, she hated uncertainty but she’d tolerate them for her brother. She tolerantes a lot of them for him, even if it was frustrating knowing so little about how he worked now in every sense of the word. He nods strongly, even if it doesn’t reflect in his eyes, “I will”.

“Good”. She stands there watching him float away a little before flying off properly. He does that silly one fist forward flight style, the one he does when he knows people are watching and he’s not completely focused in on whatever he’s doing; another part of the ‘hero’ act he’d adopted to be more appealing and comforting to the town and to himself.

She stands there for a while before lifting up the thermos and staring at it. It was so unassuming, like always, yet it contained not only an entire sentient being but also, metaphorically, her brothers trust in humans. His trust to use something made by humans, his trust to believe humans will accept him protecting them, his trust that if he ever was caught his very human parents would still love him, his trust in her trustability. Shaking her head at the device, she had no true way to know if her brother was keeping an eye on her but… this presented too good an opportunity to ignore. While he was still learning to trust and confide in her, she couldn’t wait on him to learn about him, to protect and look after him. That was her job as his big sister, and like always she couldn’t rely on her parents help with that.

Instead she’d turn to a ghost, it would seem, not Danny himself because she knows he’ll underplay his needs and well being. He may not even understand himself and his own needs fully. Fishing in her pocket to keep the only two devices she actually carried on her out, a scanner to know whether or not Danny was around and a ‘souped up’ lipstick blaster. Passable as normal items that were perfectly reasonable for a teen girl in Amity to have, one was effective to ‘avoid’ ghosts (or to find a little brother who liked to sleep in trees) and the other one was strong enough to do some serious damage. Putting the scanner on a table and holding the blaster up at the thermos, trying to copy Danny and be intimidating without feeling silly, “I’m going to open this and you will stay put, or I’m going to blast you with this till you’re full of holes”.

She gets no response. She doesn’t truly know if the ghost inside can actually hear her. She can only hope. So with a glance at the scanner, Danny’s not here, she lets the ghost out.

“I! AM FREE! MWAHAHAHA!”. She shoots him one in his ghostly tail immediately. “HEY!”.

The ghost actually wilting when she points at him aggressively, “stay put you, I will reiterate, I will fill you full of holes if you don’t play nice”, putting her hand on her hip, “now sit. We’re having a chat about Phantom”. It always felt a bit strange to call her brother that, but it’s the name he’s chosen.

The tech ghost stares at her for a beat, searching for something in her expression it seems. It was almost as if the ghost was being leery of anyone wanting to know about Danny… like he was being protective. He either sees what he wanted to or what he never expected, the ghost going a little wide-eyed, or wide-sunglasses she supposes, “you know”.

So he wasn’t dressed like a scientist for nothing, good, he was out of touch but he was intelligent. She points threatening at him, “and don’t you be telling him that, or else”.

“Or else what? As if a puny human could threaten someone as great as I! Technus! Master of all the electronic devices in the world!”.

… He was also incredibly idiotic. Sometimes she wonders how her brother tolerates the personalities on most of these ghosts. Always having to remind herself that Danny was hard to tolerate sometimes too, he was ‘like them’ as it were. She puts her hands on her hips, “who would you rather be caught by? Danny, or our parents”. The ghost cringes noticeably so she nods firmly and continues, “now, sit. You’re going to tell me what you can about ghosts”. This ghost was an adult, and his tech interests were outdated enough to tell her he’s been dead for some time. Surely, as a scientist, he’d have an interest in learning about his own being?

The ghost seems completely flabbergasted by that question, he does float down to hover over a previously knocked over chair at least, “why?”. He’s not shouting, he’s not posturing and puffing out his chest, he’s taking her seriously.

“Because my parents are biased and I want to know how to look after my little brother like I have since the day he was born”. She hopes that response comes across as firmly as she wants it to.

The ghost, actually seems pleased about that. Taking her word almost immediately and gesturing wildly, “for starters! He’s a very weird ghost. Endangered even! So he’s actually way safer here than the rest of us! Annoying but it makes it so much more fun to fight him! Who would want to fight someone low on energy? Boring! I definitely don’t think his core’s developed at all yet though. Can’t wait to see how tough he’ll be then! Maybe he’ll have an electricity core even! Oh I would love that! It would be supreme to test that against mine! Ha! He probably hurt himself when that comes in though so watch out for that…”; he manages to monologue about ghosts for a very long time, it was almost as if he genuinely wanted someone caring for her brother, something about him being ‘a baby’. As well as wanting him to be strong and capable, genuinely looking forward to him growing as a ghost.

Ghosts must care about younger ones. Her parents couldn’t be more wrong and she, now, couldn’t be happier for that.

End.

Prompts: What if Jazz had a conversation with Phantom before learning he was Danny? What does their next conversation look like when Jazz knows but Danny doesn’t know she knows? If Jazz wanted to help her little brother, she had to learn more about ghosts. But she couldn't ask her parents, for obvious reasons, nor would she go to Danny with her ghost problems until he came to her about his. After searching everywhere online and in the library for any scrap of information, Jazz determined the only way to figure this out was to ask a ghost herself.

#danny phantom #phandom #danny fenton #phicphight24 #have a fic suck my dick #phantomphangphucker #my writing #phic phight #phic phight 2024 #phic phight 24 #jazz fenton #psychology #Jazz is just trying to help #gothmoth #fan fic #phan phic

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phantomphangphucker · 4 days

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Phic Phight - The Green Ribbon Is Staples

@astatia-ghast @q-gorgeous @mr-lancers-english-class @tourettesdog

Danny gets a lot of injuries but every so often he gets one he’s never gotten before, normally that’s just a pain since none of the trio usually know what exactly to do about it but they eventually manage; unfortunately this time it’s a little too revealing.

Chap. 1:

Decapitation Station

Okay. So. Danny’s got a problem. Or twenty. Twenty problems sounds more accurate. Why? Well um, lets rewind a little.

See he was heading home, from detention due to missing homework, like usual, when his ghost sense did what his ghost sense does. So, you know, he had a fight to fight, ghostly ass to kick. It was good ol’ Boxy because of course it was, he should have figured honestly. But the surprising part? The real cut throat turn of events? Yeah apparently Boxy got his hands on multiple boxes -read: more than two- of barbed wire, ecto-barbed wire because apparently Jeb was trying to protect his chickens -he has chicken in his houses tiny back yard for some fucking inane reason, like seriously why? Ugh- from a ghost kitsune.

So Boxy threw the boxes at Danny like he normally does.

Danny let the boxes phase through him like he normally does, because come on? regular boxes are a shit weapon.

But surprise! That turned out to be the dumbest decision he’s made in a long fucking time. Why? Well because the ecto-barbed wire inside the boxes, that he obviously could not see because the boxes were fucking closed, did not go through him like he expect.

They did go through him though. Just... not the way he wanted them to.

Meaning they went through him by cutting through him very literally. He’d realised his fuck up quick enough to minimise the damage but that was because the first box was aimed at his goddamn head. The Box Ghost got to be cut throat for the first time in his entire existence, at the cost of Danny’s head getting fucking whole ass flung into a grocery store wall.

At least this is how Danny got to find out he could still move his body without its head. It’s also how he found out that decapitation is terrifying to ol’ Boxy.

“I! AM SORRY! THAT IS NOT OKAY! I mean you are less circular now!”.

Danny takes the time to have his headless body kick The Box Ghost in the shin as his hearing cuts out before using his thermos, it’s hard as fuck to aim without being able to tell what he’s looking at. Since, apparently, he could use his body without a head but couldn’t use his head without it being still connected to his core, fucking great luck there.

It’s still pathetically easy to catch Boxy, even effectively blind. Using the feel of ecto-energy and ghostly pressure, no matter how weak, to figure out his own location and Boxy’s, aim and fire and he gets the ghost on his third try. No quippy wit of course, since he was down a fucking head holy shit.

At least he manages to find his head, it, unfortunately, does not auto reattach.

... And he can’t see to stitch it on himself. Meaning he needs Sam or Tuck, preferably Sam. But she’s not a ghost, meaning he can’t just locate her ecto-signature. He also can’t just float around Amity cradling his head and hoping she fucking sees him. He also can’t call, because no mouth obviously. So that’s either three or four of his twenty some issues. The fifth is just the pure fact that Boxy of all ghosts is the one to put him in this situation in the first place, talk about embarrassing. Ugh.

Danny settles for calling Tuck, who can absolutely trance the call with ease, and just scrapping the phone speaker on the floor and making thumping noises with his feet. He’d look up morse code if he could see. Zone if he didn’t have Tuck on speed dial he’d be fucked... on second thought he might not have even managed to call Tuck.

Should he try again?

Well it can’t make things worse.

He calls about twenty times and maybe some go through maybe some don’t. He can’t hear if there’s a voicemail. Fuck how is he even gonna know if Tuck does show up? If he had at least one of his heads senses he’d be cool, Tuck always smelled like meat and metal, his voice was an obvious easy identifier or whatever, he did in fact know what the guy’s skin tasted like, and sight was easy.

But touch was all he’s got right now and unless he’s touching a ghost, aka something with an ecto-field, he can barely tell the difference between people. Maybe whoever will clue in and write their name on his arm or something? He can only hope to be that lucky.

…

He is not that lucky.

In multiple ways.

Who ever he’s called is definitely not lean or skinny. Meaning they’re not any of the people he was cool with calling. It’s not Sam’s lean muscled arms with sharp pointed nails. It’s not Tuck’s skinny arms and calloused fingers. It’s not Jazz’s skinny arms and would have been shaking hands. Zone it’s not even Val’s lean toned arms and firm grip.

Whoever it is has thick muscled arms and rough large hands. If the hands where bigger he’d think he really fucked up and called his dad, but they’re not. Plus, his dads hands would probably not be shaking. His dad wouldn’t be freaked out by an injured ghost. His dad would not be handling an injured ghost with gentle care. His dad would not be seemingly attempting to help. His dad would either ‘study’ him or hurt him or capture him.

This person is doing none of those three things. This persons hands are shaking, they are freaked out, and they are helping. Meaning he should be okay enough at least. Problem is he doesn’t know if this person can do stitches well enough to align and reconnect stuff, or if this person is actually anyone he called and not some random person who just happened to be around.

Danny’s got his head cradled in one arm and pressed against his stomach, the person is holding onto that arm, so Danny uses his free hand to point at his head then at his neck, making vague stitching motions and hoping the message is getting across.

He can feel heavy breathes brush against his jumpsuit so he’s guessing that who ever took some restorative breaths, good? Hopefully otherwise he might be very fucked until someone else shows up. Either way Danny moves his head so that he can kinda feel the mangled detached end of it brushing against the mangled detached end of his neck, he thinks he got his head on the right angle but whoever hopefully can line up his spine for him.

Wait shit, if this isn’t Sam, Tuck, or Jazz, which it obviously isn’t, then they won’t know he has a fucking spine since ghosts don’t normally have that shit.

Quickly lifting his head up making the person definitely jerk, to flip it enough for whoever to see the spine end. Gesturing vaguely where he thinks the spine end is, then leaning his body/neck forward and physically grabbing his spine and tapping on it. Hopefully they get it, he gives whoever a thumbs up for moral support before going back to aligning his neck ends and holding his head steady with both hands.

The person goes around his back, their knees pressing up against his lower back and ass, whoever was tall damn. Not his dad tall but definitely at least six foot. Even their knees are shaking though so that’s not great; hopefully they have a decent therapist. Great now he sounds like Jazz, ugh.

The person does tentatively touch his spine bit and Danny’s pretty sure he can feel his heads bit of spine pressing into it. He keeps holding his head when the other person feels to get up.

...

They didn’t just leave did they? The fuck??? Even if he is a ghost that’s still pretty fucked up to just leave him, especially when whoever poked at him and maybe tried to see if they could help.

... Did they maybe go to grab some shit perhaps? Right yeah most people didn’t just walk around everywhere with medi kits and shit.

...

It is taking whoever a while if that’s what they’re- oh wait nevermind, based on the vibrations on the ground he’s going to guess the person is back and it seems like they’re running. Cool. Okay. Definitely had gone to get stuff.

The person damn near knees him in the back when they get back down on the floor with him. Jerk. Danny would scoff or scowl if his head was freaking attached.

They’re grabbing at his spine again so it’s definitely one hundred percent the same person. Good. Cool. He wasn’t totally abandoned headless by a random grocery store.

Then he feels some seriously jarring vibrations travel down from the bit of spine attached to his skull, officially very confused. What the actually crap did whoever run off to get??? Then he feels cold metal on his bodies exposed section of spine, it feels kind of like a flat bar? Oh! OH! Okay he is absolutely getting a metal bracket drilled into his spine to hold it together, that was actually pretty fucked up. Effective hopefully but wow, oof. This was gonna suck so much later.

And now he can’t tell if the person is shaking because of being freaked out or because of the goddamn drill they’re taking to his spine.

He thinks whoever drills on three brackets or metal rods, before the drilling fully and finally stops. He’s starting to get some feeling back in the rest of his spine and the bottom bit of his skull but his actual skin and hair and senses are still a lost cause. Whoever taps he’s shoulder very cautiously and draws a question mark over his jumpsuit, so Danny moves to hold his head up by the hair and takes the other hand off of his head to try and pinch the jagged detached edges of neck skin together, then making the stitching gestures again. He needs his skin at least somewhat securely connected for things to heal at a remotely functional degree, annoying but whatever.

The person writes ‘ok’ on his skin, at least the person was calm enough to try communicating with him now. Neat but Danny’s not going to push shit, instead going back to using both hands to hold his head steady. Unfortunately he had expected this person to, you know, use a sewing needle or something and some fucking thread to stitch his skin up. What he hadn’t expected was the sudden feeling of being shot with two extremely shallow and thin bullets straight in the neck. Ancients fuck what the hell?!? He absolutely jerks from that.

Okay so, this fucker is using a goddamn staple gun he thinks? Did whoever run off to a fucking hardware store? The next staple is a lot shakier and Danny makes a point not to jump, which gets him rewarded with the next staple being less shaky. Danny’s just going along with this because it should? maybe? actually work? Hard to say since he’s never reached for goddamn staples when he’s needed a bit of patching up. This person was probably hoping that securing his spine would be good enough. Well tough shit, his luck ain’t that fuckin’ good.

...

.......

It takes a goddamn while, and he thinks the person is taking fortifying breathers every so often. Which is fair. Stapling a persons neck back on had to be super upsetting and freaky. But! He can actually hear -yes, hear!- the staple gun noises now. It’s alarming a little, way too much like the sound of some of his folks guns but he can take it. But eventually whoever does stop.

“Holy shit this is, so fucked”.

Wait... holy shit, Dash???? Why him of all people???? The fuck? Well... okay guess Danny can’t be complaining too much. The guy had a ton of hero worship going on, so he wasn’t going to dick his goddamn idol over.

Danny tentatively lets go of his head and, when it doesn’t flop over or anything, he gives Dash a double thumbs up.

“Oh, oh thank zone his heads not loling over. Holy shit”.

Danny taps on his ears and gives another thumbs up.

“Are... are you trying to say you can hear again? Fuck this is so screwed up”; it kinda sounded like he ran his hands through his hair roughly.

Danny gives another, but far more eager, thumbs up.

“That’s? That’s good right?”.

Another thumbs up from Danny.

“Okay good. Good. This is so not how I ever wanted to run into my hero. In to you. What the zone even happened?”.

Danny doesn’t know how Dash expects him to answer him. So he makes an ‘x’ with his fingers over his mouth or where it feels like his mouth is anyways.

“Still can’t speak huh?”, he actually snorts even if it sounds shaky as Hell, “that must suck for you”.

Oh hundred percent yes. Danny’s a talkative bastard. Danny flips him off. Apparently that’s really funny because Dash just starts wheeze laughing, it sounds like he flopped down on the ground which is honestly probably really gross, fuck knows what’s on it.

“Zone I just stapled Phantom’s neck together and he flipped me off, what the fuck is today oh ugh”.

Hey if anyone’s having a shit day here it’s him. Sure having to fix him would be pretty fucked but at last Dash wasn’t the one dealing with being fucking decapitated and oh hey his visions coming back some. Blurry as hell but he can, in fact, see. He glances around, there’s a lot of glowing green stuff, probably his ecto, he should probably clean that up; also, he now knows why he usually fixes himself up with thread and not staples, shit is tense and makes his skin pull.

Eyeing Dash, who’s staring at him Danny thinks, Dash jerking and sitting up, “hey the blank stares gone, you got vision back?”.

Danny wiggles his hand back and forth in the air and makes a weird squeaking sound, shrugging. Dash shakes his head disbelievingly, “I can’t believe you can survive losing your freaking head. Man that’s cool. Super freaky and I’m going to have so many nightmares now”.

“Air pee”.

Dash looks at him deeply concerned, opening and closing his mouth a few times before shaking his head and getting up. “You good? I can leave? Wait shit, sign my arm!”.

Danny rolls his eyes but does as he’s asked because he is not nearly enough of an asshole to refuse after the guy stapled and drilled his freaking head back on. Danny also gives him a pretty solid back pat, “you ‘ight”.

“Thanks but no? I’m raiding my dads liquor cabinet immediately”.

Danny can’t even give him shit for that, even if even he knows that ain’t the best way to deal with fucked up shit. Shrugging and stretching out, a lot of things cracking and popping, nice he’s seeing actual proper details now and his spine feels more proper spine like. Shit was gonna take so long to heal though. “Jus’ don’ mae rum ceral an’ don’ wine up inna ‘rigerater”.

Dash sounds horrifically disgusted, “ew and... I won’t?”, the jock somewhat cautiously walks away. Fair enough, Danny just put him through some whack ass shit and then basically admitted to having had rum cereal and crawling into a refrigerator....

Him and his stupid fucking mouth.

...

Okay so what now, if he changes back right now he’s going to start bleeding red everywhere. Fuck right, he’s gotta clean up his ectoplasm. At least that’s a simple thing, floating back down towards the ground and setting it all on fire. Watching the blue flames for a bit and realising that he absolutely can not hide Dash’s patch job for shit.

Well.

Fuck him entirely.

And by ‘him’ he means himself, not Dash. Dash did the best he could and Danny could not expect anyone to do a stellar job of reattaching people’s heads. In fact, someone being remotely skilled at that should be deeply concerning. Even a ghost having that skill would be concerning.

Alright so first things first, find something reflective and check Dash’s work out. Hmmmm. Okay so a chunk of shiny metal will have to do. Him lifting the piece up and around his neck to check it out, flames still burning away, as Sam arrives.

“Danny why did I get a soundless thumping call and why is this entire area on fire?”.

So Dash did a pretty okay-ish job, like yes all the staples are almost all uneven and less than straight, some aren’t in properly and one looks like it got bent to fuck. But his skin is knitting itself back together.

Danny turning around to wave at Sam gets him an instant gasp of horror. “Oh fucking zone, what happened!”.

Danny holds up a finger, “so I can survive decapitation and Dash know’s how to use power tools”, and floats himself around her enough for her to look at his neck, even she’s being leery about touching it or moving his head around. At least his vocal cords have put themselves back together, even if it sounds like he’s eaten an entire box of nails.

“Damn your voice sounds like shit”, she winces, poking one of the staples which Danny absolutely twitches in a bit of discomfort from. Okay so this shit was gonna hurt like a bitch when he changes back, ugh. Her frowning and digging in her pocket, “okay sit down, I’m at least attempting to straighten this shit out. I’m not taking out the staples, it’s healed some so it’ll do less damage to just let your body dissolve the metal”.

“Yeah he also drilled fucking hardware brackets into my spine”.

“Why would let him use that!”.

“I couldn’t see or hear or speak! Sam! I couldn’t tell who it even was that was trying to give me a patch up!”.

Sam rubs her temples sighing, pointing at the ground which fine Danny floats back down towards. At least the flames are dying out, yay for not leaving a crime scene level of ectoplasmic mess that could be traced back to him! Her getting to work immediately, “geez he pulled your skin too tight in some spots and not tight enough in others. Some spots aren’t even lined up well!”.

“Sam give the guy a break, he was terrified! And remotely normal people do not know how to put skin back together unless they’re literally doctors”.

“Yeah well this is going to heal really nasty, it’s already healed nasty”, she points at his face with a slightly ectoplasm stained finger, “and you aren’t missing any jumpsuit meaning unless you feel like adding a choker to your costume you can’t cover this up”.

He was unfortunately aware of that. As Phantom it wasn’t… too big of a deal. It would just raise questions about ghosts being able to get scars and how he got it and if he had more. Zone his folks might even rework some of their research over this. But… it would make people worry and he didn’t want that. “Considering the choker wouldn’t even be part of my actual form, I’d just wind up wrecking it. But-”.

She huffs, unclipping her own choker and holding it in front of his face, “you better have been about to say ‘but I should at least cover it up while it’s healing’ Danny. I have a million of these things, go ahead and destroy a few”; she drops it on his lap and continues moving his floating ass around to stitch between the staples.

Danny sighs to himself, careful not to swallow or move his Adam’s apple too much, “fine, but I’m just going to wear turtlenecks as Fenton, a chokers a little too attention drawing when I don’t normally wear that shit”.

She just scoffs as she continues her work.

Would a turtle neck hide this shit? Not if anyone remotely looked at him with any degree of attention even slightly. Like a child wouldn’t notice purely by being a lot smaller than him but that’s it. Unfortunately a choker or handkerchief will just make people more likely to look at his neck, and bandages would be even worse. Aka he doesn’t really have any options here.

Sam nodding and leaning back, “okay, you’re good. This is a seriously messed up injury though, you caught the ghost who did this? It was a ghost right?”.

Danny blushes immediately, “it was a ghost yeah, and ugh, I’m never living this down”, sighing into a hand and trying to ignore the way the staples pull, “it was fucking Boxy”. She laughs scandalised at him. Danny groaning more, “yeah yeah laugh it up. He actually scared himself”. She laughs even more and fine he joins in a little too. Fuck today so much.

…

After a bit she pokes his floating ass, “you should change back, so you get over the pain before we get you home and in bed. Your parents are still doing late night hunts right?”.

Danny sighs, putting his feet on the ground and nodding, “unfortunately, yeah”, moving to rub his neck before remembering that would be a fucking dumb idea and scratching his hair instead, his head felt unpleasantly fresh, “sure it means I don’t have to deal with their questioning but ugh”. They would somehow manage to get themselves involved in one of his late night ghost fights and shoot at him, it was annoying and every time it happened whatever ghost he was fighting legit debated throwing hands with his parents for real. Some purely because the Fenton’s shot first, others because they were interrupting their chosen ‘Phantom fist-a-cuffs’ time, others because they knew Phantom wouldn’t do it himself.

Anyway.

Human time.

Ha. This was gonna suck. Sure not as much as that time Tuck had to haphazardly shove his organs back inside him and Danny had to change back before said organs could reorganise themselves, but still. He cringes his whole face up in anticipation as he lets the change flow over him. “ANCIENTS FUCK!”, bending over, one hand on a now shaking knee, and the other tenderly over the front of his neck.

Ow.

Holy shit.

Fucking Hell he is never getting decapitated again. Oh Ancients.

He can taste metal inside his throat and he can’t tell if that’s blood or actual literal metal. The spine bolts are awful actually, he should not have let Dash do that. Oh he is regretting everything so much. “FUCK! OW! WHY DID I LET HIM DO THAT!”.

Sam pats his back as he drops his hand from his neck, touching would only make it worse, both hands on his knees and wheezing now. His neck was on fire and extremely cold all at once and it was fucking stupid and he hated it. He can feel his ecto attacking the metal, it burned more than he’d like. Swallowing, “oh that was such a bad idea”, he is not eating anything for a while. Pushing himself to stand up and blinking tears out of his eyes, “I, ow, am phasing all my food directly into my stomach for a while. Oh zone, this sucks”.

San pats his back again, “figured. Definitely no swallowing utensils for you for a bit”.

“Sam, if a fork prong got caught on or nicked the stupid bolts, which some are definitely partly inside my throat and bolted back to my spine, I will scream immediately”. Zone he would have screamed from changing back if he hadn’t been prepared for it to hurt like a son of a bitch.

She nods, “and I wouldn’t blame you”, scowling, “I still can’t believe you let Dash drill fucking Home Depot bolts into your neck. You know how dirty those things probably were? Ugh. Now stand still, you’re leaking”.

Danny has to clench his fists something fierce, fingernails digging into the palms of his hands, to keep from flinching as she wipes a cloth around his neck. Rolling his eyes at her whipping the side of his mouth too with a stupid smirk. “How bad does it look?”; he does not feel like going through the effort and pain of trying to use that bit of metal to look it over again.

“Bad. Danny. Gnarly and jagged. The staples stick out really harshly”, frowning and crossing her eyes as they cautiously and carefully make their way out from behind/around the grocery store which was thankfully closed. “When I stitch you up I always try to make it blend smoothly with your skin as much as possible, Dash was definitely not thinking about that, which fine I can’t blame him for, but still”, grimacing, “you better be really careful about what turtlenecks you wear, otherwise the staples are going to catch on the fabric”.

Danny full body winces, oh zone that would suck. He might maybe be able to resist screaming at that but he’ll definitely at least suck in a really ragged breath and curl in on himself. He was used to pain but still; he doesn’t even want to move his head or neck around. And of course his voice still sounded like hot garbage but considering the bolt attaching the inside of his throat to his spine that made sense. He really wishes Dash had positioned that one bracket and set of bolts differently. He can absolutely feel the metal bar being squished between his throat and spine. Ugh.

Shaking his head as they finally make their way back to FentonWorks. Sam giving him another pat, “you good to see yourself to bed or am I helping the injured baby”.

Danny snorts, “oh shove it”, chuckling, “I can handle my self but I am absolutely taking the fuzzy blanket off of my bed because I do not want to get woken up by my bed ripping out a staple”.

“Smart choice”.

She heads off with a simple wave and chuckle at Danny sticking out his tongue, at least he had motor control of said tongue again. Okay, now get lunch and go to bed before his parents possibly show up.

He grabs out the left over chilli, that is thankfully not sentient or moldy, and phases it into his stomach. Was it going to take a bit to digest? Yes, obviously. But he was absolutely not chewing this shit and swallowing it. He’s had enough unintentional pain for one day that he absolutely does not feel up to adding in any intentional pain.

The fluffy blanket that was super comfortable especially when his muscles were all achey, gets torn off and left on the floor in a heap. His floor isn’t exactly ‘clean’ but that doesn’t really matter to his sorry ass; he is going the fuck to sleep.

“Nocturne bless this fucking bed”.

Chap. 2:

The Un-hide-able Kind Of Damage

Did Danny sleep the whole night away? Obviously not. That never fucking happens. But no one serious showed up and every single one that showed up took one look at his neck and noped out. Apparently there was a bit of a code to not mess with Phantom if he was rocking some injury that was really fucked up. It’s didn’t help that it looked gnarly regardless of form... the choker barely helped and he forgot it almost every time.

But he managed to make it to morning without further neck or throat damage. He also did not see any online photos or videos of the damage, so far so good.

He absolutely meticulously inspects his turtleneck options for loose thread or snaggy material. He’s left with a total of three wearable sweaters, not great but not, you know, bad either. The one he goes with is a dark red, in case he bleeds a little, and has a burning Christmas’s tree on it, because anytime is the right time to say fuck you to Christmas. Dumbass holiday, that one. He phases the thing on because he is not dealing with trying to get his head and thusly neck through the long turtleneck part, shit’s painful enough as it is. Him fiddling with the collar in the mirror, the wound is still jagged enough that the fabric brushing against the edges sends twinges of pain up and down his neck. It’s not great. Not at all. Plus, it covers the wound about as well as he expected it to; if anyone one stares or specifically looks at his neck then he’s screwed.

He’s seriously tempted to just... not go to school. Zone spending the day laying in the park would be better. But the lasts thing he needs is the school calling his parents and them wanting to have a talk with him. Or everything forbid he runs into them while he’s supposed to be in class. Even if he was still getting along with them, which he’s not going to be anytime soon, he wouldn’t want them around him to possibly notice he’s injured.

Meaning school pretty much has to happen. Sighing to himself and moving down the stairs gingerly enough to not make his sweater move, heading out to go suffer through wildly unnecessary schooling.

…

He waves at Sam and Tuck, they’re huddled by his locker, man does he ever love them. Tuck looks so worried at him, “show me immediately. What the hell, man”.

Danny smirking and gingerly pulling out and down his sweater, wincing a little from the pressure against the back of his neck, “Sam told you?”.

Tuck’s entire face cringes up, “damn that’s hardcore, did you actually thank Dash for doing that to your poor neck”.

Danny letting go of his sweater and bopping the techno geek on the head, “he literally reattached my head, of course I did”, shrugging, “sure the way he did it is a little shit and a pain in the ass but at least I have a head again”.

Both of them roll their eyes at him but they’re smiling so it’s pretty clear it’s all in good fun and jest. Tuck poking him, “oh and we’ve already agreed that we’re taking your notes because you absolutely shouldn’t be lifting and lowering you head constantly for hours. You should be attempting to heal”.

“Pfft, since when do I go out of my way specifically for healing but I’m lazy and you guys know that, meaning you know I’m not gonna say no”.

All three chuckling as him and Tuck head to their first class, Sam going her own way after a bit.

Danny makes it though exactly twenty three minutes of class before his ghost sense goes off. At least the ice going up his throat felt faintly soothing, as he shoots his arm up, “bathroom”, and leaves without being given the go ahead. No one ever tried to stop him anymore, all he would get was annoyed glares or sad ones in Lancer’s case.

Pulling into the bathroom and changing, relishing the lack of pain for a bit before zipping up invisibly through the ceiling; he’s got a ghost to track down.

He has absolutely no issue finding the ghost. Why?

Because he immediately head butted a motorcycle the second his head exited the fucking roof top.

His poor neck. Zone. Why him?

Danny floating backwards, rubbing his head and grumbling, “Johnny? What the hell, man?”.

“Oh damn you really did get decapitated, huh?”.

“The fuck you think? Duh”, sighing and crossing his arms at the ghost, “did you just show up to see for yourself?”. He’s going to be a little pissed if that’s the case. He can do without the ghosts doing ‘wellness checks’ on him anymore than certain ones already did.

Johnny snorts, “surprised it didn’t wind up mounted on a wall”.

To be fair, that’s kinda what Danny himself thought would be what happened if he ever did lose his damn head, but that was mostly because of Skulker being the only one that usually tried to ‘relive’ him of his head. Scoffing, “as if I’d ever let Skulker’s sorry ass take my freaking head. Now are you gonna leave peacefully or are you gonna start doing donuts on the rooftop?”.

“That second one sounds pretty solid but I don’t feel like dealing with your head falling back off because that looks like a damn hack job”.

“Hey! You try fixing anything while blind, deaf, and unable to taste or smell!”.

“Damn”.

Danny chuckling, “I know, right? Now you leaving or?”, and making shooing motions.

Johnny smirks, revving his engine. Danny sighing mentally because he knows that translates to ‘let’s play tag, mother fucker’. Johnny shoots off with a, “depends if you can catch me, Phantom”. Typical.

“Damn it, Johnny!”. And now Danny’s off chasing Johnny and his stupid motorcycle. He rarely actually tries to shoot the guy because it feels like a dick move when all the guy generally does is street race and drive on roofs. Hell some of the twenty-something’s actually adored the biker and would race him; which fine Danny let slide because he thought it was a nice human/ghost bonding experience even if it was technically a crime. But hey, Danny’s existence was technically a crime too so why should he care anyways?

Plus, if he’s being honest, chase racing him was kinda fun, felt a little more like being his actual age again. It’s was practically play for him, which was slightly sad, but they only make it a few streets down and destroy one streetlight before Danny’s got Johnny souped. Danny flipping the thermos in the air a little sillily.

“Oh zone! are you okay!”.

Danny jerks in the air and looks somewhat down at the person that looked to be having tea on their balcony. “Yes, worry not citizen”.

Fuck Danny’s luck, the guy points at his own neck, “uh, you sure about that?”.

Crap. What should he say? “Worry not, it’s not fresh and is healing perfectly fine”. Danny salutes and basically flees the conversation. Especially since he heard the guy whisper about how ‘holy shit ghosts can get actual long term injuries???’. Not good.

He basically speed walks to his home ec class with Sam. Poking her a little hard and trying to ignore the stupid pain in his throat and the fact that he��s pretty sure headbutting a motorcycle bent on of the brackets Dash drilled to goddamn his neck, “a civilian noticed”.

“Well shit. Not surprised but still”, Sam shrugs, “well Tucker’s got any mentions of you set up to ping him so we’ll see if this person keeps things to themselves or not”.

After all, there really wasn’t much else any of them could do.

…

Does he get a ping from Tuck? Absolutely. It takes all of eight minutes. Danny groaning to himself, he’d thump his head on the table but that would probably hurt something fierce.

Treft26fu: @ whoever DECAPITAED Phantom, you suck and he is weirdly okay with it

Treft26fu: or maybe whoever just wrapped a cord around his neck and TRIED to decapitate him

Treft26fu: anyway this just in ghosts can get proper people like injuries

The guy goes on a tangent for a while actually. Tuck’s managed to actually block the comments from being visible to anyone, thank fuck. Tuck throwing a proper text his way.

Geek: what do you want me to do if he notices no one’s responding to his comments?

Danny humming to himself, the vibrations down his throat aren’t great but aren’t bad either. Well most people would be annoyed if they found out Phantom was silencing them or someone else.

Ghost: pretend to be the G.I.W. silencing people from releasing ghosts are sentient feeling beings

Geek: *snort* nice. So that’s ’I’ll take anti-G.I.W. propaganda for $100’.

Ghost: I’ll take subtle beginning of an uprising for $200

Geek: creating deepfakes in 3… 2.. 1.

Danny just rolls his eyes at the guy not responding after that. Mrs. Canecher snapping, “eyes up here, Fenton”, startling him a little and making him jerk; more than a few people laugh at him. Jerks.

At least he makes it through the rest of his class, goddamn.

Of course that’s exactly when shit goes south. In the form of one Dash Baxter… again kinda. Dash bodily shouldering him into the wall as soon as Danny makes it out of the classroom. And of course Danny winces from that, because getting bashed into a wall is kind of jarring to the fucking bolts and staples in his fucking neck, thank you very much Dash.

Dash’s sneer is practically a growl, even if his eyes don’t really look to be in it, “aw look at little pathetic Fen-tiny flinching from a wall. How ‘bout I give you a real reason to flinch from me”.

Dash grabbing his sweater collar and yanking him up off the ground at the same time as both Danny and Sam snap, “don’t!”.

Dash of course scoffs at their attempt to stop him, sneering down at Danny and ramming him into the wall. Danny closing an eye, wincing, and hissing in pain and frustration. Why did Dash have to be such a fucking jerk all the time? And oh great it feels like that bent bit of metal bracket is being pressed into a fucking vein or something since a quarter of his neck is going numb and fuzzy. Fucking ow. He can feel some portions of nails getting pushed deeper into his skin and blood welling up around them. Wheezing, “put me, down, Dash”; wow his voice sounded extra shit. Like he’d gone and rubbed sand paper on all the nail cuts.

Then Sam, his boss ass him-damned friend, has her boot off and wielded in record time, fully prepared to beat Dash with it regardless of Danny making it very clear he doesn’t want his friends doing that shit to Dash or any other bullies for his sake. He’d rather himself be bullied than anyone weaker/more fragile. Hopefully the fact that she’s doing that when she normally doesn’t is enough to make Dash realise that she’s serious and he needs to fuck off.

Course Dash doesn’t even seem to notice, instead glaring down at a glaring Danny. Which at first makes Danny think this is some ‘dominance’ crap where Dash is just trying to get him ‘scared’ and get him to ‘back down’ and act meek. But a second or two going by and Dash’s glare looking progressively more horrified, gets Danny to actually slap Dash’s wrist off of him.

Shit.

Okay.

Flee?

Flee.

The second Danny’s feet are back on the ground he grabs Sam’s wrist and books it; Dash too stunned to do anything till Danny’s got them around a corner. Danny turning the two of them invisible immediately so he can tenderly put a few fingers up to his throat and wheezing in pain.

Sam whispering, “you good”. Danny shaking his head, blinking away a bit of tearing, and whispering back, “honestly no. He’s, he’s, probably, the worst, person to, notice, this”.

“Considering it’s his handy work?”.

Danny winces a little, nodding slightly and being mildly pissed at the way that pulls on the staples.

Both stilling and staring when Dash, still looking a little horrified, appears around the corner and looks around, him frowning in confusion, “what? Where?”. When he seems sold on currently being alone he stares at the ground, then at his slightly shaking hands, and mutters, “am I just hallucinating now?”, and actually curls in on himself a little as he walks off quickly.

Great. Now Danny feels bad. He’s not trying to make Dash question his own sanity! Ugh. And then Danny feels something hard and definitely metal drop in his throat, instantly sending him into a coughing fit, and practically collapsing to the floor in pain; he absolutely drops the invisibility without really paying any attention to having done so. Sam following him down to ground, worried.

Of course all this results in Dash basically rushing back to see Danny kneeling on the ground, one hand on his throat and another on the ground, while Sam is rubbing his back and glaring bloody murder at the returning jock.

Danny coughs up the end of one of the fucking bolts, it clinking on the ground is extremely loud and it fucking rolls away because of course it does, rolls away right into Dash’s shoe. The clink of it falling over feels like a thunderclap while Danny’s still wheezing and screwing his face up in pain.

At least no one’s in the hallway now, having moved quickly off to their classes the second Sam started actually threatening Dash with her boot; her wrath was well-feared, good. She’d be proud, if Danny wasn’t currently groaning into the floor.

Danny lifting up his head enough to eye Dash staring down at the bolt end touching his foot, Danny deciding fuck it and flopping onto his back on the ground with a wet cough and wince. Sam glancing down at him, “you going to just lay there?”, then going back to staring at Dash.

Danny groans again, absolutely crying a little, “I, am ’ever, lettin’, ‘one bolt, my fuckin’, ’eck, agin”.

Dash fucking squeaks of all things and shuffles over to stare down at Danny, cautiously avoiding the glaring goth. Danny glares at Dash without much feeling, “what? Go’, any ‘ore insuls, to ‘row, my ‘ay?”, coughing wetly and wiping at his mouth with a sleeve, careful not to jostle his head, “or ‘eel, like tossin’, e ‘round, ‘ore?”.

Dash blinks harshly and speaks again, “Phantom? You… coughed up a bolt end”, the guy is fiddling with the damn corroded off bolt end, the green burning on it is very stark. Why the fuck was the guy fiddling with that thing? Ugh.

Sam jerking out a hand, glaring at the jock, “give it and go away”.

“What? I- no! Screw off Manson!”. Ah Dash sounds slightly more normal now. Still freaked but not weirdly flat anymore.

Danny snickers, wincing from his throats bullshit, “I ‘ean, ur the one, eno ‘rewed my, ‘roat”.

Sam groans immediately at him, “goddamn it, Danny”.

Even Dash winces down at him, “Zone fuck, holy shit, you’re… Phantom?”, the guy drops the bolt and runs his hands through his hair, “oh zone I reattached Fenton’s head, zone”. Sam running after the rolling bolt, “damn you too, Dash”. Danny has faith she’ll get it before it causes any issues. Dash is busy pacing in circles currently so…

Yeah. Not helpful.

Fuck his neck felt kinda totally raw in spots and based on the wetness on the back of his neck and head he’s gonna guess he’s making a bit of a puddle of blood. Fun. Ow. Wheezing, “this, this is, ‘finitly the ‘econd, wors’ ‘jury, I’ve had”. He can feel one of the holes in his throat sliding back and forth across the length of the bolt when he talks or swallows. This is hell a little bit.

Dash stops and crouches down on his ankles near Danny’s head staring at him but only kinda seeing him, “second? Worst?”, sputtering, “decapitation? Is second place? What? And I’m? Staring down at Phantom?”, blinking harshly, “Fenton’s-your Phantom?”.

Sam comes back and smacks Dash over the head, “you better keep that to yourself, jackass, now help me move Danny to a bathroom or else”, and grabs one of Danny’s arm, Danny just smacking her with the other as a way to give it over. At least Dash jerks up harshly and does grab his ankles, because yeah Danny’s not standing up right now, not a chance. Dash muttering, “never met your heroes, you might have to put their head back on and find out they’ve been letting you beat them up”.

Danny, with his head resting on one arm so he doesn’t have to strain his -very injured and still stitching itself back together- neck muscles to hold his head up, “gla’ ta see yur handlin’ tis well”. As it is, all this being moved crap is making him feel like one of the staples has popped out partly and is just swinging around tugging on bits of still attached skin.

“Danny, shut up before you jack your throat up even more”. Danny huffing an extremely cold breath at her for that. Her glaring down at him, “jerk”, he can tell her hearts not really in the insult though which was absolutely because he was being an ass purely because his throat felt like it was trying to rekill him and AND now someone has basically figured his shit out. Ugh.

At least they make it into the bathroom, without anyone noticing. Of course the door swings back open the second it closes though, it’s Tuck thank everything; meanwhile Sam vaguely gently puts Danny’s arms, and thus head and neck and upper back, down. Sam and Tuck rounding on Dash who’s still holding Danny’s ankles up for some dumb reason, they point aggressively at the jock, growling, “you”.

Danny wheezing from his less than comfortable position only halfway laying on the floor, “‘ash, if ya ‘on’t, put me ‘own, Imma, ‘ick ya”. Dash doesn’t even react to Sam’s and Tuck’s fingers pointing in his face so Danny absolutely intangibly frees an ankle from the guys hand and kicks him one in the chin; Dash sputtering and dropping Danny’s other ankle immediately.

At least he’s now back entirely on the ground, the nice cold sweet ground. The faint metallic plink on the ground absolutely means he definitely lost a staple though, way too quiet to have been a whole ass bolt; plus he’s pretty sure there’d have to be a big gapping hole for one of those to actually fall through a hole in his skin then onto the floor. The plink also getting Tuck’s attention, him lifting Danny’s head up gingerly and pocketing the kinda eroded staple, Danny doesn’t even look at him, “today is ‘hit”.

Tuck ruffles his hair quickly, “and you sound like shit”, before standing back up and crossing his arms at Dash.

“Ya rye ahvin’ a suck in’ ‘roat wound”.

Sam sighs, explaining to Tuck for Danny, “he coughed up a bolt end and even though I told him to stop talking he won’t shut up”, glaring at Dash more aggressively, “so?”. While Tuck gives Danny a chastising, “dude”. Danny just shrugging his shoulders, wincing at the neck movement, and going back to staring emptily at the bathroom ceiling.

He really shouldn’t have come to school. Like at all. Absolutely terrible decision. Stupid him. Stupid stupid him. Ugh.

Dash’s swallow is loud and makes Danny internally cringe at how much swallowing that aggressively would hurt right now. “So the thing I gave myself a massive hangover over has come back to haunt me on Fenton’s neck, what the fuck”.

Danny blinks, wheezing instead of chuckling, “ah. Ya ‘ctually raid-ed, folk’ lior’ cabnet?”.

Sam and Tuck giving him judgemental looks, while Dash throws his hands out baffled, “I spent an hour shaking and stapling my heroes neck what of course I did-what-oh-my-zone-this-is-a-nightmare”, and starts pacing in circles again.

Tuck chuckles though, eyeing the jock, “are you saying that because Phantom’s Fenton or because of having to deal with a horrific injury”.

“Both!”, Dash stops and gestures aggressively at the geek, “both”, sticking both arms down at Danny, “how even? Zone fuck did your parents experiment on you or something?”, screwing up his face and seemingly speaking more so to himself, “can I get away with beating the Fenton’s up?”.

Danny snorts, wincing, “ow fuck. Naw, my ‘ad, will ‘reak you, ‘ike a ‘ooth-ick, ‘ash”.

“That doesn’t mean he will!”, shaking his arms at Danny, “you didn’t”,

Sam scowls down at Danny, “Danny, shut. Up”, then walking closer to Dash and pointing a finger right in Dash’s face, “one, Danny will be mad if you try to fight his dad. Two, he’ll stop you and fuck his throat up more anyways. Three, it was an accident that you have no damn right to know anything about you asshat. Four-”, signing and dropping her hand, “-my opinion of you just, unfortunately, went up a notch”.

Danny blinking and turning his head, ow, enough to look at her, “oily ‘hit”,

“Shut. Up”.

Danny huffs at her, pushing himself to sit upright with some effort, pointing at Dash then shrugging and dropping his hand.

Dash blinks, “how are you so calm if you’re not dead”.

Tuck groaning, “oh he is dead, just not entirely”.

“That makes zero sense, loser”.

Danny is having none of that, he lifts a hand up again and ecto-blasts the bathroom stall next to Dash’s head. Dash jumps, squeaks, and slowly looks to stare at Danny wide-eyed. Danny quirking an eyebrow, “bad”.

“I- um- okay?”, Dash still sounds squeaky, looking at Sam and Tuck, “holy shit you’re sidekicks”.

For once both Sam and Tuck facepalm for a reason other than Danny being a dumbass. Tuck laughing while Sam sighs, “yes, Dash, obviously”, gesturing at Danny who grins dumbly, “you really think we’d let this dumbass do shit on his own? He’d do something stupider than he usually does”, grimacing at Danny, “Danny, you’re leaking again”.

This time it’s Tuck sighing and grabbing some paper towel to clean Danny’s throat and mouth off. Danny’s almost tempted to wheeze really hard to maybe get blood splattered around but that would be really dumb and really painful for no good fucking reason. He just really hates today and his stupid body right now. Grinning instead, “‘ink ya can un’end a bracke’? Kinda ‘ill ’on’t have feelin’ in ‘art of mi ‘eck”.

Tuck glares at him, “what”, sighing disbelievingly, “you shoulda mentioned that immediately, man. Why do you do this shit to us and yourself”.

Dash flinching, “did I mess up?”, while Tuck moves around to where Danny’s tapping his neck. Danny shrugging, “I ‘ean, num’ ‘eans naw pain, sew”, and shrugs. And sure, part of his mouth was also numb which wasn’t great but hey at least the pain is mostly only radiating from other sections of his neck, giving him one little area of relief.

Sam gestures at Danny though still staring at Dash, “see what I mean. A Dumbass”.

Dash actually nods agreeingly, jerk, before backing up a step or two when Tuck pulls out his personal media kit and one of those sharp art knives from inside, tweezers too but that was probably less startling to the jock. “Going to have to rip a few out, man. And probably cut some stuff”. Him yanking out a staple actually takes so much effort Tuck falls on his back.

Danny cringing, ow, “my ‘ody sure ha’ attichme’ isdues, huh?”. Tuck pushing himself up and clamping down on another staple, “you suck. Sam you wanna help instead of glaring Dash out of existence?”.

The goth huffs, points aggressively at Dash, “you. Stay”, before moving over and grabbing the wannabe scalpel; Danny gripping his knees at the almost feeling of sharp metal on skin.

Oh great it kinda looks like Dash is shaking a bit again. Lovely. But the guy shakes himself off somewhat and actually comes over to help, sorta help at least, too. Grabbing Danny’s shoulders to, Danny guesses, keep him steady.

Danny absolutely feels the second Sam, or Tuck he’s not looking, gets the metal unbent. Him jerking forward, a hand to his neck and headbutting Dash’s chest, “ow! Fuck! Shit! Agh!”. Okay note to self, no pain for a while thanks to numbness equals sudden intense pain when numbness goes goodbye bye. Ow. Why is he so stupid? And Dash is so startled he doesn’t even move or do anything more than huff like he just got the wind knocked out of him which he probably did; Dash falling on his ass seconds later, “shit Fenton! Ow!”.

Sam moving quickly to stitch up the hole she had to cut in him to get good enough access to fix his shit, “stay still, your lucky you didn’t rebend the thing”, grumbling to herself, “at least that jerk bought solid brackets”.

Dash wheezing a little and rubbing his chest, “I wasn’t going to patch freaking Phantom up with cheap shit he’d break in a fight”.

Tuck getting up to clean things, and himself, off in the sink, “that’s actually smart, congrats”, eyeing Sam and Danny, “how’d it get bent anyways”.

Sam growling without looking away from the work she’s almost done, “Dash here slammed him into a wall”.

Danny, kinda staring at Dash as something to do and trying to ignore the pain and pulsing, “actulie I head’utted Jon’s ‘ike”,

“Why would you do that!”.

“Acci’en’! Gosh!”.

Sam huffing, “well the wall didn’t help”, then looking at Dash as she cleans her own hands, “like I said, he’s a dumbass”.

Dash nods slowly, “yeah”, looking down at Danny, who’s just sitting on the ground slightly curled in on himself, “is, are you gonna be good? And why did this hurt but not me drilling your spine?”.

Tuck actually gives Dash a supportive backhanded swat on the arm, grinning, “don’t worry about it, he heals like a beast. Also, he doesn’t feel pain as Phantom”.

Danny straightening out some and stretching, wincing at the throat hole moving over the exposed bolt again, “a ‘essing and curs’”, and promptly coughing again, spitting up metal bits, at least he caught all the shreds and corroded bits in his hand this time. Grimacing at the mess of spit, blood, and metal; getting up with a stagger to wash his hand off, “ew”.

Dash gestures aggressively at Danny as Danny turns around to eye him, “I wouldn’t call that ‘healing’ at all!”.

“Dude, ya re-atta-ed mi ‘ead! Imma ‘ay Imma doin’ a damn ‘ood job”. Oh hey, it’s slightly easier to talk now, cool. It feels like that one hole is closing up now, that musta been where the metal he was just coughing up came from.

Dash opens and closes his mouth, humming and shrugging after a beat, “yeah I guess that would kill most people, huh”. Danny wheeze laughing as Sam and Tuck shout, “YES!”, at that.

No one says anything for a bit until Danny clears his throat, which was dumb to do, and winces. At least one throat hole is gone now, he is so not going to class until he apparently coughs up the other bolt end. “Okay. So. We ‘ood?”.

Tuck grinning at Danny, “well you sound slightly better”.

Danny shrugging, “bye bye ‘aping throat wound”. Tuck gives him a thumbs up like a real friend. Then, of course, he feels the other bolt end inside his throat fall, fuck. That of course causes another coughing fit that sends him to the ground again, Tuck and Sam rushing over to pat his back hard till the damn bolt gets coughed up. Danny just groaning and rolling to lay on his back again, “mevar ‘ind”.

Dash wheezes, “I- um, we’re good. Yeah we’re good. But if I ever run up on an injured Phantom I’m calling your idiot friends since I clearly suck at it”,

Tuck waving Dash off, “Dash, none of us would have known what to do with a decapitation. That was a first for Danny-dude”.

“Yay ‘or mi”, Danny shaking away a few tears, man his body was an asshole. Sitting up enough to look at Dash more properly, “ya ‘id ‘ood”.

Sam snapping, “no he did not!”.

Danny pointing aggressively at her,“tis ’raight an’ ha-n’t fallen oof”.

“That doesn’t mean much”.

“Be ‘orse it I ‘ried to mi ‘elf!”.

“Your head would be backwards and upside down somehow if you did it yourself, moron”,

Danny flips her off. Dash actually chuckles though, “this is the weirdest conversation I’ve ever been in, wow”, then collapsing against a bathroom stall, which causes the doors to open, which results in Dash falling backward with a yelp and fucking knocking himself out with the toilet.

You.. you gotta be kidding? Seriously? Danny blinks, “‘eri-yous-lie?”. Sam actually bursts out laughing while Tuck runs over to help get Dash out of the stall, him snapping, “don’t you even try to think about helping, Danny”.

“Eh I ‘ink I ‘elped enou’ bi ‘ockin’ ‘im out”.

“No”.

“Yes”.

Sam and Tuck glare at each other before laughing, all three of them winding up on the floor laughing, or wheezing in Danny’s case. Dash groaning from the floor a few seconds later, “did I just get knocked out by a toilet?”.

Sam snorts, smirk showing in her voice, “yup”.

“That’s really hilarious actually”, Dash shakes his head, “if I wasn’t probably high on Advil my head would kill me”.

“Hey, at ‘east ‘vil actu-eel ‘orks on ya”.

Dash snorts, “that’s rough man”.

“Eel mi ‘out it”.

“I have no idea what you just said”.

“Piss oof”.

Danny and Tuck pushing themselves to sit up, meaning that now everyone’s basically just sitting in a sorta circle in a men’s bathroom. Cool. Man his throat is killing him though. The fresh stitches on the back left side of his neck stand out in the swath of pain pretty noticeably, why? Because they hurt less. A staple gun was never, ever, getting added to the medi kits; Ancients.

Tuck eyeing Dash, “so, are you actually going to keep your mouth shut about this? About finding out your idols secret identity?”.

Dash puts up his hands, “I’m not Wes, I’m not that stupid”, flushing a little, “but I definitely did tell Kwan about, uh”, gesturing awkwardly at Danny, “patching you? up? Yeah”.

Danny shrugs, trying not to move his neck with the motion, it kinda works, “eh, figs”.

Tuck chuckling and shaking his head, “he means ‘figures’, which yeah even Sam can’t blame you for venting to your best friend, that would be a dick move. Right Sam”.

Sam scowls, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms, before sighing, “fine. It really would be”. Danny giving her and the jock thumbs up, because yeah, talking was not helping his healing ass like at all.

Dash chuckles awkwardly, “yeah, Kwan’s the best”.

Sam sighing, “Kwan will also realise Danny’s Phantom if he sees”, rubbing her temples, “meaning we still have a jock to keep an eye out for”.

Absently, Danny knows it would be a massive dick move to force Dash to keep this from his best friend. Granted Sam and Tuck might also beat him if he gives the jock the go ahead to tell Kwan. But unfortunately Dash continues, “and he did tell Star, who told Paulina, who, uh, told all the cheerleaders, who probably told everyone”.

Sam glares murderously at Dash then Danny, “I’m going to kill him”.

Danny pouting, “‘am, it is ‘ery rude ta ‘reaten ta kill some-on in ‘ront of a ‘hos’”; and then spits up some metal and just rubs it on his pants, he’ll wash them later maybe. All three grimace at him. Whatever.

“Um, let me point out that they did tell everyone and I did not expect to witness hardcore medical drama and hear mind breaking info when I decided to take a smoke break inside for a change. Hi”.

All four jerk and slowly look at the guy peaking out from a slightly open bathroom stall door. Well. Damn it. Screw his existence entirely. Dash and Sam getting up instantly and both looking ready to beat this guy into silence for Danny’s sake. Aw, they’re bonding over murderous intent, how utterly evil and adorable. Meanwhile, Danny decided fuck it and grabs out his phone. Moving to the Amity Teens chat:

thealivedanny: those whose eyes see have mouths that don’t move

Haleykaley: that’s ominous hot shit

Bailnwail: has Fentons phone been possessed again?

Tuck’s phone pings, “Danny… why did my phone just ping the sound it does when you message a public chat?”.

“Eye do ya hav’ a ‘iose spec-fy for mi?”.

“I’ve had one ever since someone accidentally messaged the very public gaming chat a death threat meant for Vlad and a picture of your broken arm with exposed bone”, Tuck glancing at his phone, “ah you’re just terrorising the masses, I see”.

The guy comes out of the bathroom stall entirely, hands up at the goth and jock, “hey I ain’t my fault you guys didn’t do a sweep of the place before starting your soap opera medical drama”.

Danny holding up a finger, “echly it’s a super-atura drame”.

“Debatable”, the guy clears his throat, “look it doesn’t really look like there’s any point in silence here but I ain’t no fucking punk ass snitch”, dropping his hands and shrugging, “just ignore me stealing baby formula for my kid brother and we good”.

Danny pushing himself to stand up, his throat felt less hole filled now, “man, I’a eel tha’ shit fer ya”. Then glancing at his phone when it pings, it’s freaking Dash in the teen chat room.

Football king: those whose eyes see have mouths that don’t move

Danny looking at the jock with a quirked eyebrow, said jock gives him a slightly too wide-eyed thumbs up, “you, uh, seem to have this covered so I’m going to go drown myself-”.

“Didn’ ta toile do tha’ ger ya already?”.

“In Advil, Fen-taco or Danny, whatever”.

Danny snorts, wincing a little, “eh don’ ‘ange. An’ ‘on’t haveta craw to hospit”.

“Screw you, oh this is stupid”, Dash scowling, “and like the guy who crawled into a refrigerator should have any say”.

Tuck eyeing Danny, “oh you told him your stupid rum cereal story?”.

“He ‘ad plans ta get ‘runk, it wah apple-cable!”:

The dude wheeze laughs, “fucking ‘apple cable’, nice”. Danny absolutely flips him off, but the guy smiles, “nice to know our little hero is a dumbass”.

Sam eyes him and decides he passes whatever mental test she was giving him, “yeah. Yeah he is”.

Danny rolling his eyes and looking at his phone, at least nine more people have posted the same ‘those whose eyes see have mouths that don’t move’ message. Well shit. Okay. Well… at least Danny’s got a clue for how many people have seen and just fucking put two and two together to get four. Wes also threw in a ‘those whose eyes see have mouths that do move’, because he’s an ass. Fucking Wes, goddamn. No chill. At least a ton of people respond back either insulting or threatening Wes. Good. And Dash also leaving shaking his head is probably good too.

The guy eyes them before jabbing a thumb towards the bathroom stall he came out of, “am I cool to finish my cigarette? Since I put that shit out as soon as you guys hauled ass in here?”.

Sam sighing, her, Tuck, and Danny all exchanging shrugs before Sam gives the guy a go ahead, “sure fine, whatever. But yeah, that snitches get stitches and wind up in ditches thing can absolutely be very literal”.

“Tell that to the whole school then”.

“I will”. Sam basically grabs Tuck and Danny and drags them out of the bathroom. Her grumbling at Tuck as she continues dragging them, likely to their next class, “how bad is it”.

Tuck speaking while scrolling through his phone, “bad, there’s really no way to keep a cap on this”.

Danny hums, which doesn’t hurt nearly as much now that the bolts aren’t inside his throat. Pulling out his phone and dropping a link to one of the many videos of his folks ranting about ‘evil ghosts’ in the chat. Which gets the chat bombarded with ‘THOSE WHOSE EYES SEE HAVE MOUTHS THAT DON’T MOVE’ and he’s pretty pleased with himself over that.

Tuck snorting as Sam pulls them to their seats, “smooth dude, now everyone who didn’t already know, knows it had to do with ghosts, GrEaT iDeA”. Oh the sarcasm was thick there.

Sam pulling out her own phone and scrolling, smacking Danny on the arm, it would have been a head slap if his neck wasn’t still fucked, “idiot! But ugh, at least it seems like it’ll keep people quiet. At least from the Fenton’s and maybe adults in general”.

Tuck shaking his head, “yeah, I still don’t get why all the adults have such a hard time seeing that, at the very least, Phantom’s good”.

Sam growling right back, “because they’re stupid and think that just because they’re adults and we’re kids that there’s no way they could be wrong and us right. And that if kids all agree on or do something then it must be dumb, wrong, or immature”.

Lily turning to face them, “a lot of us also do stupid shit, case and point”, pointing at Danny, “you coming to school with a barely attached head that looks awful holy shit”.

Ah crap, Danny mildly panicky readjusts up his turtleneck, fuck him so much. Tuck and Sam just sigh tiredly at this point, and another ‘those whose eyes see have mouths that don’t move’ gets added to the chat. But the girl grins at him, “you could totally get an awesome tat to cover that though”, leaning over, “I know a guy”.

What?

Sam is interested immediately, “oh do tell, I’ve been dying to get some webs on my shoulders”, grinning evilly, “especially because my parents will stop trying to stick me in strapless dresses then”.

The two girls absolutely do exchange info while one of the cheer leaders, Brittney he thinks, be-lines to his desk. Shit shit shit. But all she does is slam down a thing of lozenges, “here, we use these after practices and games since all that cheering makes for a wicked sore throat”. Danny is confused, “thanks?”. She cringes, “wow you do need them”, smirking, “at least you sound like a gruff musician now”; and walks off to her seat.

Apparently everyone takes that as a sign to give Danny stuff, because goddamn everyone brings him something and by the time the teacher shows up Danny has a little mound of random trinkets and things on his desk. Sam and Tuck are wheeze laughing at him. The teacher quirks an eyebrow at him, “Mr. Fenton?”.

“I’m a ‘agon apparently and tis my horde”.

“Are you sick?”.

“No physicals but in da head prob”.

The teacher rolls her eyes at him before starting the lesson. He spends the entire class getting bombarded by direct messages.

‘Get lots of sleep’

‘There’s some stupid powerful muscle relaxers in my locker’

‘West side bathrooms water is green again so don’t use that to wash up’

‘Do you have enough food’

‘I’m giving Dash first aid lessons against his will for you’

‘You want some apple pie’

‘Whoever did that is going down in my notes as ‘head stealing asshole’ forever more’

‘I cleaned your blood up, no worries’

‘You want more losengezes’

‘I’m making everyone sign a get well soon card bye the bye, it’s glittery and cute’

‘There’s balloons in your locker now, open when most chaotic for maximum chaos’

‘I will cry on your shoulder to feed you emotions if that’s a real thing ghosts do’

‘I’ve got a great emotion support ferret if you want something to pet’

‘I shall supply you with an alarming amount of soothing teas’

And on and on it went, he had to put his phone on silent for fucks sake! It was kinda cute and nice though. Even if it seemed like the entire school had now decided to baby him. And as soon as class ends he gets jumped by one of the drama kids, who throws gauze around his neck.

Danny sputtering and taking a ‘no limbs are allowed to touch’ stance, the gauze hanging like a scarf, “why!?”.

“To wrap it so it doesn’t get infected, obviously”. The kid just walks away.

Tuck, looking at his phone, chuckles, “dude, you’ve been given the ‘is baby’ role”. Danny just pouts and pulls the gauze off from the back of his neck. This wasn’t useful for him, he’d dissolve it, but hey the sentiment was nice.

Jasper chuckling as he comes out of the classroom behind them, “yeah because you’re not taking care of yourself apparently”.

Someone actually gives him a whole ass pie in the hallway before the trio manages to get to their next class, he’s pretty sure they all actually missed lunch somewhere in the time they were dealing with Dash. So hey, free food! Definitely appreciated. Even if he hunches over it to make the fact that he’s just phasing pieces into his stomach not super obvious, and it’s not as good as Skulker’s but the teacher doesn’t give him shit for eating in class beyond glaring… which half the class glares right back at the teacher for.

Then, of course, his ghost sense goes off. Fuck him entirely. Hand shooting up, “bathroom”, and him fucking off. This time he’s careful about potential headbuttable objects when he phases his head through the school roof.

By the time he finds the ghost, it’s Technus annoyingly, there’s not much for him to do. Why? Because at least twelve teens and goddman twenty little kids are kicking and throwing things at the ghost and shouting about leaving Phantom alone. Technus is actually curled up crying, “I CAME TO CHECK ON HIM! PLEASE STOP SMALL CHILDREN!”.

Danny is so fucking confused.

Him floating down slowly, “uh? Whatcha doin’?”.

One of the teens stops, huffing, “well you need to heal, dontcha? Literally no one’s actually seen you with an injury that lasts more than a few seconds”, shrugging, “so no fighting for you”.

Is… is this how he’s going to have to tell the town that he actually likes getting into fights? Oh man, awkward. “I enjoy it though”.

“You are injured. No fighting. In fact-”, the girl digs in her pocket and holds out some tickets to him, “-you shouldn’t even be in school. Go have fun at that little petting zoo in Elmerton”.

Danny takes them because it would be rude not to, right. Blinking at the whimpering ghost, “I’m… still gonna soup him”.

“That’s what you call it? That’s adorable”.

Danny blushes and quickly captures the beaten miserable ghost, immediately leaving. Making it back to class at the same time that Sam and Tuck get bodily pushed out of it. Danny blinking at them, “uh?”.

Sam shakes her head fondly, “apparently we’re supposed to go to a petting zoo?”. Tuck chuckling, “we’ve also been given firm instructions to swaddle you, but I am not caring you around in a teenager sized fabric baby swaddle”; he actually holds up a bunch of fabric.

Danny blinks harshly, “what”, shaking his head and holding up the tickets, “some kids were curb stomping Technus mosh pit style. I’m legit a little touched”. Sam gives an impressed whistle before snagging the tickets, shrugging, and dragging both boys off. Guess they are indeed going to a petting zoo.

“Hey good morning guys, welcome to the Elmerton petting zoo. We’ve got brushes and some treats to the side, or you can just give them pet downs and love with your hands and hearts; everyone here is super friendly, though Flapjacks the black goat is a headbutter”.

Sam snorts eyeing Danny, “you’re a goat, Danny”.

“Goated, you mean”.

She absolutely smacks him for that.

The lady continues, “most places won’t let you hand feed but we gave up on that because you Amity kids are a nightmare and never follow rules”.

Tuck snorting, “how’d you know we’re Amity Parkers”.

“You’re skipping school boldly and look dead inside, obvious tell”. Danny absolutely doubles over wheeze laughing at that, a rabbit sniffs him cautiously.

“And just like goats, you guys are always finding new and interesting ways to nearly kill yourselves. Muffintail got stuck upside down in a random bucket last night and screamed bloody murder till one of the dogs got him out”, pointing to some signs, “we have more neat info about goats over there besides their desire to die”.

Danny snickers, smirking at Sam and Tuck, “Muffintail huh? ‘It’s muffin time, who wants a muffin, please I just wanna die. Please somebody kill me, please it’s muffin time’”.

Tuck wheezes, “fuck that’s so old Danny, zone damn it”. The petting zoo lady laughs to herself too.

Sam wandering off to grab some carrots and poking the roasters with them, at least the roosters actually eat said carrots. A peacock jumps on her head though, Danny and Tuck both absolutely taking a photo of that shit. The zoo lady smiling at that before speaking up again, “before you start wandering around too much, Amity Parker’s aren’t allowed in the horse or deer area since all that ghost smell freaks them out. Please don’t scare our horses and deers. And since there’s blood on your sweater, please leave the wolves alone as they will bite you”.

Tuck laughs while Danny’s face heats up something fierce, he absolutely didn’t bring a spare sweater though so… Danny muttering, “I forgot about that”. Tuck patting his back before he does actually wonder off to bother the other rabbits.

Of course the second Danny’s left up to his own devices he immediately gets rammed in the back by a black goat, which proceeds to walk on his back when he falls over. The petting zone lady scolding it, “Flapjacks no”, when the goat physically jumps up and down on him. Sam absolutely got a video and sent it to the teen chat along with a ‘can’t go anywhere with this dumbass’. There’s mass responses of ‘bad goat!’ and one person commenting that ‘oh I know that one, he’s called flapjacks because he’s a jackass’. The lady does get Flapjacks off him long enough for him to get swarmed by curious bunnies, Tuck following after and laughing at the bunny pile that Danny’s become. That also goes into the chat and gets far more ‘cute’ responses.

The amount of time Danny gets followed around by bunnies is adorable and weird, Danny blinking at his bunny herd, “I think bunnies like me”. Tuck pouting, “I want the bunny love”; Danny gives the guy a bunny, it kicks him immediately. Poor Tuck, Danny snickers at him.

Sam walking over with an owl in her arms, the petting zoo lady looking confused in the distance. “You would think bunnies would hate you, since you’re basically a predator”.

“I don’t eat ghosts, Sam”.

Tuck snickering, “You should, get that ecto”.

“Ew! Tucker!”, Sam smacks the geek, “they are sentient beings!”.

“And sentient beings are delicious, my point stands”.

“Blood mouth”.

Danny laughing at the mild argument, laughing until one of the bunnies decides to bite him right in the fucking throat, “augh! ow what the fuck!”, the bunny runs of with a staple in its mouth. “No no no no no no no no, give that back!”. Danny winces and chases after the bunny even with bits of pain shooting up the side of his neck now; it was doing a pretty good job of healing. Was.

It takes ten minutes of him, Sam, and Tuck chasing the bunny for Sam to catch it and get the semi-dissolved severely ecto-contaminated staple out of the bunnies teeth. The bunny is very mad about loosing its prize and immediately starts biting Danny’s shoes. Danny huffing, holding a bit of fabric to his neck to stem the renewed bleeding, asking the petting zoo lady, “what’s that one’s name?”.

“I Eat My Cereal Dry”.

“Well I Eat My Cereal Dry is a dick”.

She laughs at that at least, while the trio continues wandering around the area.

Lindsey thinks that outside of the bitey rabbit and back-butting goat the whole trip turns out pretty good for the three kids. Sure after school let’s out the place basically gets swarmed by Casperhigh students to the point where the place hits max capacity. She’s frankly flabbergasted and vaguely overwhelmed, especially when most of the students are more interested in the kid with the extremely disturbing neck injury that keeps getting harassed by bunnies.

Like… they’re damn near hand feeding the kid more than the animals, giving him head pats and arm pats and back pats; Millie the goat gets jealous and starts trying to get them to stay away from the boy. Adorable but strange.

At least none of them go near the horses or deers.

Thankfully Danny’s able to go home without running into his parents or any ghosts, seemingly Techus or Johnny or Boxy told everyone to fuck off; Technus getting ganged up on was probably a pretty solid warning to most since everyone really only wanted to fight Phantom specifically or cause random chaos, not get assaulted by children with severely brutalised senses of danger.

Zone, he even makes it through the night uninterrupted for a change!

And checking his throat out in the mirror in the morning, moving it around and prodding at the stitching, and scars from all the staples that have since dissolved. It still ached a bit but there’s no actual pain. The steel brackets are definitely still there because Dash went and grabbed thick ass fuckers but all the bolts are gone for sure, so swallowing and physically eating still made a bunch of pressure on his throat; meaning he’s still sticking to phasing food into his stomach instead of chewing shit.

Jazz bangs on the door a little aggressively, Danny sighing as it just pops open, her staring at his neck, “seriously? Are you okay?”.

Danny sighing again for good measure and rolling his eyes at her, “I am now, yes I know the scarring is gnarly, that’s because of a not super great patch job and not because of how bad the injury was”.

Jazz sighs shaking her head, “I saw the chat by the way”, her leaning on the doorframe, “so, everyone knows now, huh?”.

Danny groans exaggeratedly, he’d tilt his head back dramatically if he wasn’t still slightly injured, “just the teens thankfully”, eyeing her, “they're a lot better about ghosts than the towns adults”.

“You mean the Fenton’s”.

“I mean all of the adults, Jazz. Mom and dad… are just the worst of them”.

She hums at him, which he ignores, “are you even bothering to cover it up now?”.

He knows exactly why she’s asking that, he’s in just his standard simple long sleeve that he always wears nowadays meaning that everyone and anyone will be able to see the scars and bits that are still healing. But he grabs up a handkerchief from the counter, “I’m still covering it, just not really caring about whether I draw attention to it or not”. After all, adults generally won’t ask, teenagers definitely would have… if they didn’t all already know what was up.

“I still don’t like it”.

Danny huffing, “it’s not really your scar to like or show off or not, Jazz”. Zone, with this there was almost no point in bothering to hide any of his scaring anymore, but going bare arms might be pushing it right now, considering how severe some of the scaring was. Eh maybe someday, but not today. “It’s not like mom and dad will really notice”. She cringes but he doesn’t really care if she doesn’t like the honesty.

Jazz nods a little, “well I’m off, try to stay in school?”.

Danny waving her off as he’s grabbing up the handkerchief, “yeah yeah yeah, the ghosts have backed off to let me heal a little so I might be able to actually do that”, chuckling, “apparently decapitation is freaky to them. Who knew”. That does get a laugh out of her at least, before she fully leaves.

Danny not too far behind.

…

Sam and Tuck eye the handkerchief and chuckle to themselves. Sam smirking, “nice neck piece, bored of sweaters already?”.

“Pfft, you know how I like to keep things interesting”.

Kwan shouting, “Fenton! How’s your headless doll situation!”.

What? Danny looks to the jock, confused, “what are you even talking about, Kwan?”.

“You know, like that thing where a ladies head is held by a ribbon? Except you’ve got bolts and staples and thread?”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “that green ribbon story? That has nothing to do with dolls man, but it does have to do with dead people and a decapitation, I guess”, and shrugs, pointing to the handkerchief, “ain’t perfect but my heads almost fully reattached, nothing is actively holding anything on anymore”. At Kwan pointing at his own neck and tilting his head, Danny just assumes he’s asking further about his fashion choices, “it’s still healing, man, it looks gnarly”.

Kwan waves that answer off, “pssh, who cares. Scars make men of boys!”.

Danny, vaguely insulted, grabs the bottom of his shirt and yanks it up aggressively, gesturing at his torso and the aggressive amount of scaring there. Including the nasty, repeatedly reopened, and rarely stitched back together right, Y incision. “You sure about that one?”.

Kwan gapes a little, “dude, you are ripped”.

Of course that’s what he cares about, Danny facepalms immediately. Dropping his shirt and sighing, “I’m still not walking around with a fucking barely healed decapitation scar, Kwan”. The guy has the audacity to pout at him.

Then someone yells, “nice neck! You goof!”.

Danny chuckles to himself, everyone in this goddamn town was so fucking weird and he loved them for it.

He really only keeps up with wearing the handkerchief while shits healing and when he knows his folks are gonna be around, every single teen just seemed to think it was cool. He got lots of lanyards with pins to ‘decorate’ the scar, some weird handkerchiefs, Emilie even knitted him an infinity scarf. The one that made him laugh the most, and realise that things definitely were going to be just fine, was him getting mobbed by the art kids sticking temporary tattoos all around and over the scarring; it looked so damn silly seeing one of his gnarliest scars just covered in unicorns and seagulls and stars and an angry goat. Somehow everyone having fun with it and him not being bothered by it kept the adults from ever even trying to ask about it.

End.

PRompts: Tooth-rotting fluff occurs at Casper High after Danny's secret identity is revealed. Identity reveal. Dash finds out Danny is Phantom. What happens? Could be swagger bishie or not, either or is okay. Danny, Sam, and Tucker go to a petting zoo. Danny receives an injury or scar that he can't easily hide in one form, let alone two.

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phantomphangphucker · 7 days

Text

Phic Phight - How Not To Resurrect A Half Demon Lord

@lexiepiper @Ghostfox_fuyu

Being both an adventurer AND technically a monster wasn’t exactly the best mix to avoid fights, so it’s a good thing Danny actually LIKED fighting even if he couldn’t exactly ‘go hard’ against humans to avoid, you know, KILLING THEM. Other adventurers though? Yeah they didn’t exactly enjoy fighting what they thought was a weirdly powerful dungeon spawn.

Danny runs, skidding across the ground on his claws, the scrapping sound is loud but nowhere near the volume of the explosion happening right behind him. His tail nearly gets nicked! He’s not happy, not one bit. “WOULD YOU STOP THAT!”.

The mage with a frankly obscenely large hat damn near growls at him, which hey, growling was Danny’s thing. “Silence! Foul demon!”.

For fucks sake! Like yes, he gets that he looks like a demon. He gets that. But could people please just stop assuming that he belonged to whatever dungeon he and they happened to be in? This place was a goddamn lava dungeon, he was an ice demon with a black and white theme! Use your brain! Why would a fucking ice demon be in a lava dungeon!

Which, to be fair, him going into a lava dungeon wasn’t exactly smart or using his own brain; but Sam and Tuck thought this one would get them some sick ass gear so off they went. Of course they wound up getting separated, and of course Danny wound up running into other adventurers with the same idea as his party, and of course they mistook him for a dungeon beast. That’s his classic luck right there, everybody!

Ramming one set of claws into the wall and climbing up the hot rock as fast as he can, channeling some ice to his palms to avoid burning himself, it also was making some super cool-looking mist sizzle off of the rock so that was a neat bonus.

The adventurers trying to annihilate him seem to agree, the dude in black armour muttering to another mage with super orange hair, “hey if I equip ice gauntlets you think I could do that, it looks cool as Hell”. The mage whacks him over the head, ha!

Danny snorts to himself, jumping on to a ceiling stalactite of solid hot magma, ow ow ow ow ow, stupid ice core, stupid Tuck and Sam dragging him into a lava dungeon, stupid him for jumping onto solid magma, stupid stupid stupid. Ugh. But Danny does what Danny typically does when presented with pain, quips, shouting down, “why don’t you give up if you keep misting me!”. Ha! Good one, self. Ow.

The armoured guy chuckles, “I love it when monsters have a sense of humour, makes it so much more fun”, and hurls a goddamn spear at him. Nice, Danny can do spears and show off a little.

Danny launches himself down, grabbing the spear in between his teeth, fangs making it easy to keep the spear in there, and uses the spear head stabbing into the ground below to allow him to basically land going face down before gripping the shaft with his hands and spinning himself into an upright position. Him yanking it out of the ground and spinning it dramatically, grinning meanly, “oh I love free gifts, how’d you know it was my birthday?”, it’s totally not, he’s just being an asshole.

Big hat mage scowling at armoured guy quickly, “nice going, Salient”, then glaring back at Danny. Okay so armoured guy is named Salient, weird but okay. She shoots a fire last at Danny, Danny bats it away with the spear head snickering all the while. Then the other mage hits him with a holy-blast, because of course she does, and sends him into a wall.

He absolutely dropped the spear. Damn. He wanted to add that to his collection, which sure was definitely something he wasn’t doing before the whole resurrection gone wrong crap happened and he some how wound up getting his human souls wires crossed with Hell itself. A fuck up of hellish proportions.

Him shaking off the burn and sizzle from the holy power, at least still being kinda human and alive would stop that shit from outright smiting him, just burned and hurt like a motherfucker. The biggest annoyance his holy sensitivity usually caused him was not being able to use holy based healing potions… which were the cheapest kind aka the kind his party usually used to buy. Demonic based healing potions were the shit for him though, especially since he never had to worry about them debuffing or cursing him.

Orange hair mage huffs, “damn it, that didn’t do it”, scowling, “this place has some seriously strong demons, we might have use a hearth stone if it keeps up like this”.

Danny sticks his hands out to the side, tail twitching, “or maybe! Think a little and realise I’m not from this freaking dungeon!”.

“As if we’d believe a snake tongued demon!”.

Okay that’s just rude! It took him a very long time to learn how to talk with a forked tongue and he had to put up with a lot of mocking from Tuck! He sticks his tongue out at the group before having to climb up a wall again to avoid some thunder bolts from big hat mage and an arch of fire from Salient’s sword. At least he’d learned not to throw solid objects that Danny could grab, progress; progress for them and not him specifically. A very unfortunate specific.

Danny sending out a bit of icy flames that glowed black with his demonic energy to destroy another flame arch from Salient while moving sideways across the wall, he hates this dungeon it’s too fucking hot, goddamn. Zipping up to the ceiling and smacking his claws and palms on it, sending out a powerful wave of pure cold to force the ceiling to start snowing, which of course turns into very hot burning rain by the time it gets down to ground level. The party starts screaming and ducking for cover, that was surprisingly more effective than he expected and he absolutely had not intended to basically rain down boiling demonic water on them. Oops. He figured the snow would melt but not to the point of becoming boiling hot! How much energy was his core expending just to keep him fucking cool in this goddamn hellscape?!?

Danny skittering his way across the ceiling and in-between a gap between a stalactite and the dungeon ceiling, shouting a quick, “not trying to boil ya! Sorry!”. As he goes. Maybe they’ll be too busy hiding to realise where he’s tucked himself away. That would be nice, real nice.

“What kind of demon says sorry!”.

Don’t quip back, don’t quip back, don’t quip back. He’s trying to hide and quiping will fuck that up… “MY SORRY DEMONIC ASS!”, ah goddamn it, why does he do this to himself? Unsurprisingly the stalactite his hiding above gets fucking shot at by a holy bullet. That’s… that’s not great. Those sucked to get hit by and he’d one hundred percent need to be resurrected again if that shit hits his core enough times. But hey! Maybe that would un-demon him! Stupid plan, but hey! At least it is a plan! Plus that did not work when he accidentally fell into a pit of pure holy water. That had been the worst.

The stalactite gets shot at again, this time piercing through it and skimming his shoulder; him making his lip bleed by biting down to avoid yelping. Still hissing out a, “bloody hell”, though, because he could never just shut the fuck up could he? Also, he is officially panting, because it is too fucking hot here and his breath is making a bunch of mist aka giving away his spot more than his stupid quip did. Fuck him entirely.

He’s got three options:

One: start killing adventures like a proper full demon.

Two: overheat and pass out, possibly falling into hard ground or a pool of lava only to be descended upon by adventurers who would definitely hit unconscious him with a holy attack.

Three: leave his hiding spot and start looking for cooler areas while avoiding getting hit or doing any major hitting.

Four: use a hearth stone to teleport out of the dungeon, seems like the obvious choice right? Except when Danny’s half demon ass did that he wound up in Hell every time and Sam and Tuck would have to go through the hassle of getting him back out of there. That crap always resulted in them having to track down yet another ice dungeon and use forbidden demon summoning magic. Meanwhile he’d go throwing hands with demons for however long it took his friends to get him. Not ideal.

Then it turns out that there’s actually a fifth option, a wall blowing up and sending his bullet hole riddled stalactite crashing down towards the ground and exploding in hot semi solid magma. OW! Danny sputtering and shaking himself off aggressively, “oh fuck! Bloody hell! Me damn fuck it! Stupid fucking lava dungeon! Stupid fucking adventurers! Where’s my teammates when I me damn need them!”.

“Shit since when do goddamn demons team up! We need to hurry this up!”.

Then there’s a very loud thump, Danny squinting his fucking burning eyes up at the noise, fuck yeah! It’s Tuck! Nice! The guy’s landed directly on top of the orange haired mage, pointing his fricken lightning cross bow right in her face. The Salient guy getting hurled into a wall by vines seconds later, and a few more seconds and said vines are on fire and brunt to a crisp.

The big hat mage jumping back from the newbies assaulting her group, “great, how many different kinds of demonic vermin does this dungeon have!”, her creating an explosion with electricity to make something of a smoke screen for her to grab Salient out of the hole in the wall the guy made.

But! BUT! That puts their backs to Danny, and Danny might object to killing people but he did not object to bruising them up some. Meaning he launches himself at them, grabbing the back of both of their necks, and slams them into the ground; using his tail to tie their ankles all together. He also grabs the hat mages hat with his teeth and eats the fucking thing as a probably insane looking show of superiority.

Tuck, not looking at Danny and still staring violently down at orange hair mage, “you good, Danny-man?”.

Danny growling, “I’m annoyed, burnt, and vaguely considered making y'all haul me outta hell again for dragging me to this shit ass place”.

Sam walking calmly through the destroyed wall and into where they all are, “honestly I hate this place too. My plant magic is completely useless and I wrecked my helm”.

Danny snorting, “ha! Serves you right!”, he gets elbowed in the chin by Salient for being distracted. But well, an elbow, even armoured, isn’t gonna do much to Danny, so he just growls down at the man while said elbow is being pressed up into his chin.

Tuck snorts at the scene, “I’d stop that, Danny’s an obsidian rank combat warrior”. The mage beneath him scowling, “that is a demon spawn or are you fucking blind?”.

Danny takes offence to that, demon wise he was on par with a demon lord! Not a freaking basic hell spawn! “Excuse you!”. But Tuck laughs at Danny’s expense, “that’s what you get for never fighting back, moron”. Danny sticks his tongue out at the guy.

Sam shaking her head as she walks over to Danny, “seriously, if they attacked you first who cares if you hurt them”, grabbing the unconscious ex-hat mage out from Danny’s grasp, shit he hadn’t actually realized he’d knocked her out. Whoops. Sam pointing a finger at Salient, whose elbow is still pressed into Danny’s chin, “you wouldn’t be holding your own for shit if Danny took you seriously”.

“Pfft, I could take him”.

The orange hair mage snapping, “are you serious right now?! You are literally being pinned down you idiot!”.

Danny nodding, “glad we’re on the same page on that”; rolling his shoulders as he can feel some of the burning healing itself, he’d be healing a hell of a lot faster if he wasn’t in this damn hot lava dungeon though.

Tuck rolling his eyes before staring down at the orange hair mage, “look. Danny’s an adventure, he literally has a license on him right now. The only reason he’s in this dungeon is ‘cause we heard there was some bomb ass equipment in here, same as you guys probably”.

Sam laughing a bit meanly as she gives the ex-gay mage a healing potion since Danny probably gave her a concussion, “Danny’s not a ‘hell spawn’ he’s a fucked up resurrection spell gone wrong”.

Salient snorting, “prove it! And how the Hell did that happen?”. Danny snickers, “hell happened”; Tuck moving his crossbow out of orange hair mages face specifically to shoot Danny with it.

“Ow! You jerk!”.

Unfortunately orange hair takes that opportunity to blast Tuck nearly point blank in the stomach with a holy blast, sending him smashing up into the ceiling. Oh Hell fucking no, attacking Danny was one thing, he was a demon-looking mother fucker and could take hits like a champ; attacking his friends was a whole ass nother matter. At least Sam catches Tuck with some vines as he starts falling down from the ceiling and Tuck wasn’t knocked out by the attack.

Still though. Danny is none too impressed. And he refuses to tolerate a repeat of that, so just as the orange haired friend hurting asshat gets herself up off of the ground Danny lets himself loose more than a little bit. Limbs extending, spines pulling up out of his upper back and shoulders, second set of kudu horns extending out, ribs cracking and expanding through and over his torso skin to settle into a bigger form, that stupid gharial crocodile skull boiling and forming out of and off of his head; him all but shoving orange hair back into the ground and pinning her there with a single hand. Slamming the other hand down near her face, using a foot to keep the Salient guy pinned. Danny snarling, snout opening right over the mages face, “shoot at me all you want but you don’t get to hurt what’s mine”.

Tuck’s shaking off all that holy power, grumbling about stupid trigger happy adventurers as if he wasn’t one himself and stomps over to fucking shoot orange hair in the face with some sand; her unable to do anything about it because of Danny.

Salient muttering, “holy fucking shit, goddamn”. While Sam stops over to him, Sam smacking Danny’s ankle, “give over your license, you demonic horror”. Danny huffing out an icy breath in orange hairs face, moving his tail to use the many little quill hair spines on it to grab out his license from his torso inside his ribs, slipping it into her hands, “thank you”, she shoves the license in the probable warriors face, “see? Adventurer. You really think Clementine would approve him without goddamn checking him and his bullshit out?”.

He grunts from under Danny’s foot, “fair ‘nough. You tryin’ to crush me here?”.

Danny huffing another icy breath, “maybe”. Sam smacks his ankle again so Danny, with a shrug, lifts up his foot and lets the guy up. Danny thinks some mild crushing is totally deserved in this case, even if that was maybe influenced by these guys hurting his friends and making him feel all possessive and shit. Demon crap could be so annoying; being in this hot ass place only making it more annoying.

Salient rolls over and sits up, rolling his shoulders, “ow yeah, definitely not a spawn, damn”, eyeing himself over, “aw man, you cracked my shoulder pad. License doesn’t look fake though so”, looking up at Danny, “bad ass ability though”.

Danny tilts his skull head at the guy before looking back down to orange hair, “you gonna keep trying to annihilate me?”.

“You’re a demon”.

“And?”, lifting the hand that isn’t pinning her and waving it around dismissively, “it’s only a by half thing anyway”.

Tuck chuckling down at her, “need I point out that Danny could absolutely just crush you right now? Yeah, okay, so he’s sorta a demon, and sorta dead and not dead, but he’s not confined to a dungeon or Hell and he’s an adventurer. adventurers run into weird shit all the time, it’s not his fault he is the weird shit”. The girl glares but sighs, clearly giving up, so Danny basically forces himself to compact, puffing icy steam everywhere. Tuck grinning, “so dramatic”.

Danny pointing a normal standard human length clawed finger in the guys face, “hey, if there’s one thing I do well, besides confusing people and myself, it is dramatics”; if he was gonna be stuck as some weird dead but not dead, from the afterlife Hell but not from Hell, then he can be an overdramatic asshole about it.

Orange hair gets up immediately and moves over to the still unconscious ex-hat mage, muttering, “good, they didn’t poison her or anything. Damn demon worshipers”. Oh for fucks sake, was it really that hard to understand that he was a good guy and just a weird but typical adventurer? Ugh. Plus! He’s definitely a higher rank than her, so rude.

Salient standing up and shaking himself off, shouting at his teammate, “Lily good?”; nice, Danny’s got another name.

Orange hair sighs, “yeah. They didn’t do anything to her besides knock her out”. Oh everyone’s a critic.

Danny rolling his eyes and huffing, “you say that like you guys weren’t trying to fucking destroy me. Again, you gonna keep doing that shit? ‘Cause I’m positive all three of us outrank you guys, we just don’t exactly want to start having to fucking kill people just because people keep thinking I’m a me damned dungeon monster”.

Sam shaking her head and moving to be over by Tuck and Danny, “at least they didn’t think you were the dungeon boss this time”.

“Oh Hell that had been such a pain”.

Salient chuckles and looks at him, “you make a lot of ‘Hell’ comments and shit”.

Danny shrugging with a smirk, “hey if I’ve gotta be slightly, vaguely, hell bound then I might as well take the piss outta it”.

Orange hair glaring at Salient, “seriously? You’re making friendly with it now?”.

Danny pouts, “hey, rude much”. While Sam and Tuck laugh at him meanly.

Salient shoves her, “chill, aren’t adventurers supposed to at least try to get along. At least he’s not another psycho paladin who's just using his god as an excuse to commit way too much murder”.

Danny’s entire little party nodding, “yeah fuck paladins”. Earning them a scowl from orange hair, “we all know why you demon-lovers wouldn’t like paladins”.

Then Lily groans a little, sitting up and holding her head, “well at least I’m alive”.

Danny snorting, “yeah I have a thing against committing murder”.

“That is the strangest thing I’ve ever heard a demon say”.

Danny pouts at her. He gets that demons have a terrible rap, an earned terrible rap, but cut a guy some slack will ya? It would be so nice if he could shapeshift to look fully human, he bets that in some other universe he definitely could and he is jealous of that version of him. Stupid fucker probably got all the super sneaky useful abilities. Like being able to turn invisible or something, that would have been so useful today. Ugh.

Lily looking to her party members, “so care to explain what’s going on here?”.

“Demon dude is a legit adventurer, licensed and everything”.

Orange hair just grumbles incomprehensibly.

Sam crossing her arms at the three, “I’m Sam, platinum rank herbalist and green mage. The one with the crossbow is Tucker, silver rank earth mage and gear smith. And the half demon, that you are to stop attacking, is Danny, obsidian rank combat warrior as already mentioned; he’s also a weapons smith and death magic apprentice. Yes he’s a resurrection spell gone wrong, he did it to himself somehow, but people screw up spells all the time so whatever”.

Danny shrugging, “I mean, typically they don’t screw up so impressively they fuck up half their genetic species but yeah”; Sam swats him one, expertly avoiding the horns.

Salient snorts, “you’re a death magic apprentice and you made your self half dead? WOW you suck”.

“Hey!”, Danny puts a hand to his chest, “technically it’s useful, this way I can actually go to one of the death planes now without slowly dying”.

Lily shakes her head disbelievingly, “ridiculous and inane”, gesturing at herself, “Lily, steel rank lightning high mage”, gesturing at Salient, “Salient, silver rank knight”, gesturing at orange hair, “Gemine, iron rank white mage and apprentice priestess”. Tilting her head, “why is an obsidian with a platinum and a silver? He’s three and four ranks above you two respectively?”.

Danny waves her off immediately, “eh, I was gold before the demon shit fucked my shit up. And I am the leader so it’s not that odd”. Sam nodding, “if anything it’s weirder that an iron is travelling with a silver”.

Gemine scowling, muttering to herself, “of course the demon is the leader, disgusting”. Lily cuffs her over the head, making the girl pout. Lily nodding, “demons are more powerful than the living so I suppose that is logical, and a lower rank priestess will best any higher rank warrior”, glancing around, “where’s my hat?”.

Sam and Tuck stare at Danny judgingly, him rubbing his neck, “I ate it?”; it was a heat of the moment thing okay! He makes really dumb decision when he’s put on the spot!

Salient nodding with a smirk, “yeah, it was pretty weird”.

Danny pouting, “I’m not paying you back for it”, twitching, “and can we get the fuck out of this hot ass place already?”, looking at Sam and Tuck, “if you found nothing good I’m gonna be so annoyed”. Sam rolling her eyes and digging in her bag, pulling out a little unassigned demon core. Yum! Him brightening up immediately, “oh nice! This was so worth getting shot by holy bullets!”.

“Danny!”.

“Dude what!”.

Danny grabbing the core and biting into it, much to the disgust of his unwitting onlookers, “eh it was just a shoulder nick and I am literally covered in lava and holy light burns so that’s kinda not what I’m focused on”. Basically dumping the demonic energy down his gullet with a happy purr.

Salient pulling a face, “wow that is disgusting, awesome”. Lily sighs tiredly before gesturing at Danny’s party, “so are we good to just go our separate ways?”. Danny’s down for that, his burns were healing much better now even if he was still hot as hell.

Sam crossing her arms, “depends on if you’re going to keep harassing Danny”; Danny’s just content to lick his chops in demonic satisfaction. Gemine pouting, “I won’t be able to vanquish him so fine, I won’t”.

Danny giving her a thumbs up, “that’s the spirit, now let’s get the hell outta this furnace before my core decides I deserve to over heat”. Sam and Tuck roll their eyes at him and laugh, Tuck patting his shoulder as they all turn to wander off to the exit. The other party of adventurers awkwardly heading deeper into the dungeon.

Danny stretching a little, going all demon always made him feel like his bones were all fucked up and needed a stretching, “so find anything else?”.

“Lightning bolt in a bottle”.

“Bone dagger. Lots of bone daggers”.

“Oh and a whole ass dragon hide, it’s in the dimensional pocket”.

“We did put all the random gem stones in there too right”.

“Uh…”.

“Damn it, Tucker”.

Danny laughs to himself, shaking his head. This day was some bullshit but at least they didn’t leave empty handed, and wasn’t finding treasure and getting to throw fist-a-cuffs the whole point of being an adventurer? Even if he’d rather be beating up dungeon monsters than constantly having to duke it out with other adventurers.

---

Of course they don’t even make it a full day before running into the very same party. At least this time they’re at the adventurers guild so there’s no way he’s gonna get attacked again.

Gemine blinking at Danny, “so you actually can leave the dungeon”.

Danny rolling his eyes, “yeah it’s almost like I was telling the truth or something”. Hell, he seldom lied about shit, people just thought it was all too ridiculous to be true.

Lily looks to the desk lady, quirking an eyebrow then gesturing at the demon in the room. Juhe blinking and smiling, understanding quickly, “yes the demon is welcome here, yes he’s an adventurer, no you’re not allowed to vanquish him, and no he’s not mind controlling anyone”.

Salient chuckles, putting a hand on his hip, “wow it sounds like this happens a lot”. Tuck shaking his head, “you have no idea”; before Sam goes up to make their report to the guild master. Technically Danny’s supposed to do that, being the leader and all, but head office had a barrier around it and they refused to take it down just for Danny’s sorry ass, meaning compromises were made.

Danny nodding at the guy, “anytime we go into a dungeon and run into a party that hasn’t met me before, it turns into a fight”, rubbing his neck, “which has earned me the title of adventurers bane since I keep basically having to beat down adventurers until they give up”.

Juhe nodding, “and he helps out the enforcers sometimes, since he can be quite the intimidating presence”.

“Boo, having a demonic aura isn’t my fault, and if just a simple demonic aura is enough to scare someone they probably shouldn’t be an adventurer”.

“You forget most adventurers do gathering quests and less dangerous dungeons”.

“Pah!”.

“You also forget that your demonic aura is that of a demon lord not a simple spawn or lesser demon”.

Danny’s only response to that is a pout.

Lily had been about to go up and make her own report, one foot stopping in midair, “that one is… a demon lord?”, and looks very concerned at Danny. While Salient grins to himself, “sweet, I got to fight a demon lord. Man that’s cool”.

Danny blinks, shrugging, “I was a wee bit miffed about suddenly being very literally in hell one time, not the time I fucked my resurrection up, and went demon killing happy. Two might have been demon lords and one was definitely a death god”.

All three look at him in shock, horror, or looking just plan impressed in Salient’s case. Lily shaking her head, “alright, you very well could have annihilated us”.

Johe glancing at some paperwork, “you three are silver, steel, and iron? Yes, you would not have stood a chance if taken seriously by him. He’s officially listed as obsidian, but he’s closer to iridium, which still stands as our highest class”.

Danny blushing, “aw shucks”.

“Don’t you ‘aw shucks’ me, if you’re that flattered then stop leaving your tail quills in the lobby wall”.

“Hey! It has a mind of its own”.

“It’s still attached to you, ain’t it?”.

Danny pouts at her, tail twitching near the ground, he’s half tempted to stab the wall with it just to be petty. He did petty very very well after all.

Lily shakes herself before finally going up to give her report; Danny absolutely hearing Sam whisper a threat at her, “Danny’s a lot nicer than the rest of us, don’t pull that shit with him again or else I won’t hesitate using a mind vine to make you break your party members”, as they pass in the stairway. He makes a point to roll his eyes disappointedly at her when she makes it down fully.

His friends were great but so over protective and possessive of him, it was nice but also a pain. She rolls her eyes right back at him as the three of them head out, waving bye to Salient and Gamine as more of a form of pleasantries than genuine fond fair-wells or whatever. They ain’t friends and weren’t gonna suddenly become them, something Danny was frankly fully uninterested in. He had his Sam and Tuck and was definitely not interested in sharing them.

End.

Prompts: Fantasy/rpg setting. Danny died, but the resurrection spell went wrong, and now he’s trapped as something not quite dead but not fully alive either. Not that he’d ever let that stop him from becoming an adventurer, even if he does get mistaken as a resident dungeon monster by other adventuring parties every now and then… Demon!au

#danny phantom #phandom #phic phight #danny fenton #tucker foley #sam manson #my writing #have a fic suck my dick #phantomphangphucker #phicphight24 #phic phight 24 #gothmoth #demon!au #rpg!au #fantasy!au #op danny #bamf danny

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phantomphangphucker · 8 days

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Phic Phight - Ghosts And Cold Turkey Is A Bad Mix

@darthfrodophantom @datawyrms @kalifa100 @lovelyunknown @nat-space-obsessed @duchi-nesten

Jazz has a boyfriend. Jazz has a boyfriend who has NOT met her family. Jazz has a boyfriend who has not met her family and knows absolutely NOTHING about her families career path. Jazz has a boyfriend who was about to have A Bad Time. Danny, Elle, and Dan were going to make sure of that in every way remotely possible… short of world ending calamity.

Alright, so Jazz probably should have actually talked to Bassel about her family, preferably before he had decided that he absolutely had to finally met her family. It was spring break so she couldn’t exactly push it off till later, or long enough to explain anything really, so he was officially going in ‘cold turkey’. Had she mentioned that her family was weird? Of course, that was unavoidable. But she’s fairly certain he thought that ‘weird’ meant being really into fishing or made crochet baby dolls, not everything ghosts. And now that they’re on the road she’s fairly certain that telling the driver that ghosts are ‘the family business’ is a bad idea; it would not be good if he were to drive off of the road in shock.

Bassel chuckling, “so am I going to get regaled with stories about weird birds they’ve seen bird watching or the last obscure B list bird horror flic?”.

Jazz laughing awkwardly, “you have not idea. No idea at all…”.

Unfortunately Jazz was unaware of one simple fact, it wasn’t just her and her plus one who was coming to visit for the break….

Jack beams as a clawed hand crams itself through the seam in the Fenton Ghost Portal™, turning his head to the stairs, “Danny! Your kid’s are here!”.

“AWESOME! WE’RE MAKING COOKIES TO PACIFY THE GREMLIN! SEND ‘EM UP!”.

Sweet! Cookies! Yum. Jack turning back to the portal as the doors slam open loudly and threateningly, Jack chuckling to himself, that man was always such a drama queen. Watching the tall full ghost step through the now open portal, a little sister sitting perched on his shoulders. The little missy waving wildly at her grandpa, “hiyya gramps!”.

The flaming-haired full ghost scoffing, “Yeah yeah, whatever”.

Jack grinning and jumping up, moving to hug the two, the elder of the two stiffening and just ‘putting up with’ the hugging, “glad you kiddos could make it!”, ruffling the littler one’s hair, “there’s cookies”.

“Hell yeah!”, and she’s off like a rocket, flying up the stairs.

Jack eyes the full ghost, “beat any other ghosts down lately?”.

The man snorts, “obviously. Not that any of them were much of a fight”, grinning meanly, all fang, “the gorffens were deliciously squishie though”. Jack laughing as the two large men head upstairs.

Danny’s grinning his head off watching Elle devouring at least fifth-teen ghost-shaped cookies. Waving at Dan as he comes up behind Jack, “there’s pure ecto-cookies too, Mr. Can’t Eat Mortal Realm Food”. The full ghost scowls and flips him off but absolutely takes a couple of the overly green person-shaped cookies. Ha. The human cookies were ghost shaped and the ghost cookies were human shaped.

“Whatever, mom”.

Danny absolutely scowls at that, chucking a cookie at the ghost. While Maddie hums, eyeing them all, “Jazz will be coming by too”.

“Oh? When?”

“Any moment now, I believe”.

“I am in pj’s!”.

Dan snorts, “you look like a dumbass no matter what you’re wearing”. That gets him immediately blasted in the face with a small ecto-beam, the ghost only grinning viscously in response; Danny zipping up through the ceiling to get changed. Mom seriously couldn’t have told him sooner? Gosh! He had a new ugly ass sweater with a stupid ghost joke on it to show off!

The knots in Jazz’s stomach could kill her if they became ghosts right about now, as Bassel pulls them up into her drive way. He nearly rams into the house actually, having been staring at the ops centre on the roof, “uh, okay, spaceship on the roof is slightly more out there than I was expecting?”, looking to her, “and do they run their business from their house? Hence the sign?”.

Jazz laughs awkwardly, “they have permits for it… that they got after building it”.

He shrugs, “I can admire the guts”, and patting her on the shoulder, “and stop being so nervous, I’m a great guy! I’m sure they’ll love me. Plus you’ve said they’re pretty easy to please”.

“Oh I’m not worried about their reaction to you, rather your reaction to them. I have mentioned they’re weird right? And that my dad’s taller than ninety-one percent of the human population?”.

“… you did not mention the height, damn that’s impressive, he’s the one with the personality of a puppy, right?”.

She gives him a supportive back pat before they get out and head to the front door, “yes, and thank everything for that. His hugs are crushing though”.

“I bet”.

The door pops open without her having to knock, meaning Danny’s up, “sup Jazz and- oh shit, you brought company. Fuck. Two seconds”, and slams the door in her face.

Bassel quirking an eyebrow, “what? Is he still in pj’s or something? That was a really ugly sweater. Pink? and green? Together? Ew”, chuckling a little, “and did it say ‘boo’ onto others as you would have others ‘boo’ unto you? Why was there an image of a ghost aggressively holding out a loaf of garlic bread?”.

She snorts, even if she’s honestly confused, “oh no, he always makes sure to wear something really unpleasant to look at when he knows I’m visiting. I believe it’s born from a sick, though harmless, degree of sadism”, frowning, “though I’m not sure why he just rudely slammed the door in our faces”.

And then she hears the cackle, the loud deep malicious cackle, officially realising that she… might have fucked up. Just a little bit. Sighing and facepalming, “oh no”. The couple standing there as seemingly a shouting match goes on inside.

“GET CHANGED YOU DIPSHIT!”

“YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! MOM!”.

“I WILL END YOU!”.

“GO AHEAD AND TRY!”.

“Are they gonna want these cookies or?”.

“DON’T YOU DARE! Yes, gumdrop, leave them some. HEY DROP THAT! DROP THAT NOW!”… “EW!”.

“HA!”.

“DAN!-”.

Then the door jerks open very aggressively, and Jazz and Bassel stare up at the giant of a man with too sharp eyes and a feral unkind grin, “so you bagged someone, eh? Need someone to beat him through the wringer?”, and moves to grab Bassel’s arm; who thankfully has the common sense to pull away while staring almost disturbed at the man.

Jazz grabbing Dan’s wrist and holding him, glaring at the semi-reformed mass murderer/genocidal, parricidal, infanticidal, amicicidal, omnicidal, deicidal, ecocidal, mundicidal, psychopath. “Don’t even think about, Dan”.

“Aw but Jazzy-”.

She points a finger in his face, “no. Bad. No trying to physically fight my boyfriend”.

Then Dan’s head gets yanked back, Danny grasping the man’s ponytail, “get back in here, you shit”. The door closing again.

Jazz turns and winces at Bassel’s freaked out expression, “alright so, I didn’t know Dan was going to be here. I would have absolutely said no, if I’d known that”.

“Should I be worried?”; he looked extremely worried.

Jazz grimacing, “he’s… on parole, for, well, for murder so, yes”, grabbing Bassel’s wrist, “well we’re here now, just, don’t go anywhere with him alone. He’s also a prankster”.

Bassel almost squawking, “Murder?!?!”, as she drags him through the threshold into the Fenton household.

They get smacked with the noise immediately, she still doesn’t get how her parents managed to make a semi-sound barrier for inside the house that worked even when doors or windows were open… even if it didn’t always work well with ghosts or half ghosts. Danny is ramming cookies into Dan’s face while standing on his shoulders and snarling, Dan attempting to yank him off. Elle is bouncing around on all fours playing with cujo, who’s vibrating with excitement literally. Dad is laughing, head on the table, and slamming a fist on it repeatedly; a chair falls over. And Mom’s set the stove on fire and is smacking it leisurely with that fire-proof ghost net; the Fenton Flamo-Containo she thinks.

Jazz rolling up her sleeves, sighing, and moving over to her mom, “what did you burn, mom?”; and starts properly smothering the flames… the flames have faces and eyeballs.

This was a mistake. This entire trip was a mistake. Her poor boyfriend.

Bassel blinks, gives himself a fortifying shake, and swallows, “hi? Um, I’m Bassel?”.

The smallest one is on him in a second, it’s freaky. Her chirping up at him, “why did you say that like a question? Are you a question? If I question you will you become a sentient question mark?”.

What? Her eyes are way too big and her skin is smooth. It’s… very strange. Then she’s being picked up by the smaller boy- the teenager, that he didn’t even hear approach. “Elle-”. That was strangely chastising to hear from a teen. “-no giving people existential crises”.

“Are question edible?”.

The teen quirks an eyebrow, “I mean probably? if you write them on a piece of paper?”.

“If I write them on apples and pelt doctors with them do you think they’ll anwser my questions without poking me?”

“Eh fuck it, give it a go. Tell me if it works”. Then the teen looks up to Bassel, “sup, I’m Danny, the little brother”.

Bassel nods awkwardly, this kid… was seriously off. His skin was too smooth too, eyes not right and dangerous, his hair seemed… darker than black. The hell is he looking at? “Uh. Bassel? I already said that though. Um, I’m guessing the girls the youngest sibling?”.

She pops out around Danny’s leg, “I’m the granddaughter actually”. Danny snorting, “grand-gremlin is more like it”. She bites the teen… does she have fangs???

Bassel blinks harshly, pointing at the… murderer, “his kid? I take it?”. And now that he’s looking, what the hell is up with how similar they all look???

Dan barks out a laugh, shaking his face off like a dog so hard pieces of green? cookie physically stab into the walls and cupboards, “that shit stain is moms kid, not mine! Holy shit!”.

Danny snapping his head to Dan and pointing aggressively at him, “you”, shrugging and changing tones so fast Bassel nearly gets whiplash, “would have absolute nightmare kids and I would cry if your dumbass is the one to make a grandpa of me. Fuck you”.

Bassel is… very confused.

Mrs. Fenton shouting, “and I don’t want to be a great-grandma! Thank you very much!”, and coming over, Jazz looking to be scowling down at the stove, “hello, I’m doctor Maddie Fenton, feel free to just call me Maddie though”, swatting him on the arm, “none of that Mrs. or Dr. stuff”.

Danny pouting at her, “hey, why does Val still have to call you Mrs then?”.

“Because you two are still teens mister”.

The teen only pouts more…. His eyes look far too glass-like, like he’s a doll. Bassel kind of wants to be no where near him. Eyeing Jazz’s mom, the… hazmat is extremely concerning, maybe he should have asked more about what her parents did for a living? or their hobbies? “You have a doctorate?”.

The woman grinning, “that’s right! Primarily in ecto-ology and clinical laboratory science. but also criminology and medical science. My husband, Jack has doctorates in ecto-ology and clinical laboratory science as well, public health, chemistry, and practical theology”, turning away to eye Jazz, “the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”.

“For the millionth time, mom, I’m still not studying ecto-ology; spectral psychology is completely different and that isn’t even my primary field of study”.

Bassel blinks, okay he knew she said her parents were smart but damn. But… ecto-ology? Really? A pseudoscience? Taking that in conjunction with practical theology made some sense, many religions believed in sprits after all, but with medical degrees? With actual scientific degrees? He’d thought Jazz’s spectral psych was a bit odd, especially with the rumours she talked to ghosts which he brushed off, but at least it made sense since she wanted to be a therapist. Many people can use religion and the belief in spirits to help heal after all. “Ecto-ology huh? As your primary? Interesting choice”.

Then Jazz’s dad is on him in an instant, not inhumanely like Danny had been but to see someone so massive move so fast was jarring, “oh! Did Jazzypants not tell you!”, slapping a hand to his chest proudly, “the Fenton’s are a family of ghost hunters!”.

What.

Maddie eyes her daughter, “Jazz”. While Dan out right cackles evilly and Danny wheezes, hands on his knees, “Jazz you dumbass!”.

Bassel blinks harshly, “ghost… hunters?”, o-kay that was… a lot weirder than he expected. Her parents believed… in ghosts and claimed to ‘hunt’ them. No wonder his girlfriend wanted to study psychology, her parents were delusional.

Jazz can tell that her boyfriend absolutely thinks her parents are insane now. Danny eyeing the guy before wheezing more tells her he’s noticed too, walking over to her and patting her on the arm, “he doesn’t believe in ghosts, does he”.

She sighs, “I… don’t think so”.

“HA!”. Oh Dan was just eating this up.

Elle running over with cujo, holding the pup up at Bassel’s face, he looks like he barely resists recoiling, “pet the ghost pup and believe”.

“Why is he green?”.

“Because he’s dead! Dummy!”.

“What”. Then cujo is in his arms, his face is horrified, but he does cautiously pat cujo’s belly. Him stiffening and staring as the dog floats up and starts walking on the ceiling; Elle giggling.

Danny slinking over to the guy while Maddie tries to swat the dog off the ceiling, “yeah, welcome to Amity, famously the most haunted city in the world. And yes, your girlfriend’s parents are the leading ghost scientist of the entire world and sell ghost weapons to the government and general public”, doing jazz hands, “surprise!”.

Bassel hasn’t even made it past the entry way, Jazz feels like an ass for letting him go into this blind. Her shoving Danny away, “don’t be mean”, eyeing Bassel, who’s wide-eyed, “yeah sorry? I did tell you they were weird”.

Bassel eyes Dan standing on the table to pin a fucking green floating dog to the ceiling. Maddie’s holding a strange taser, that has green electricity, threatening the dog; Danny’s dangling off of her arm shrieking about leaving his pup alone and how if anyone’s going to get tased it should be him. Looking back to Jazz, “by weird you mean insane? I’d question the ghosts thing but there’s a floating green dog on the ceiling. Hell, I’m almost questioning my own sanity”.

Jack laughs, rubbing his neck, “oh yeah! We get that a lot! But hey! People stop calling you crazy once they get attacked by a talking five foot tall hornet or a town gets sucked into another dimension!”.

Jazz huffing, “you guys just will not let me live down that stupid hornet, will you”.

Danny shouting, “technically it was a shapeshifting old man! Not a hornet!”, as he runs out of the room with cujo in tow.

Maddie following with the taser, “Danny! he needs to be punished when he does that!”.

“No! Never! Kiss my dead ass!”.

Bassel blinking, “your… brother swears a lot, and wait did he claim to be Dan’s mom? What? I’m sitting down”.

Jazz wincing, “don’t sit on the orange chair, it screams sometimes”. He squeaks an ‘okay’ and sits on the purple couch rubbing his temples; Jazz plopping down beside him.

Dan shouting, “Is anyone gonna eat the ecto-wienies!?!”, from the kitchen.

Jazz scowling to herself before shouting back, “Dan don’t! I dont want Bassel passing out!”.

“That’s the point!”.

She throws her hands up dramatically in fur-station, at least her dad rushes off to stop Dan from consuming screaming hot dogs while their guest adjusts to his new reality.

Bassel groaning, “and why would I pass out?”.

… “They scream too. It’s… pretty freaky to see someone eating squirming screaming hotdogs if you’re not prepared for it”.

“And why do your parents have hotdogs that do that and how even?”.

Jazz shakes her head, “they might have studied clinical laboratory science but they absolutely do not practice good lab safety or sample safety. Things get contaminated accidentally a lot”.

“And that… makes hotdogs able to move and scream?”.

“That about sums it up, yeah”.

“What the actual fuck, babe”.

Then Dan pops over, arms crossed, “thanks Jazz, now gramps has confiscated all my food”.

Jazz pointing at him as he flops down on the same couch as them hard enough to make the couch bounce, “good and could you sit down any harder?”.

“I was aiming to knock you two love birds off”.

“Zone you are such a jerk”.

“I aim to displease”.

Bassel makes an aggressive motion with his hands, not looking at either of them, “okay what the fuck. First how did that not break the couch? Two how is a teen boy mom? And what is wrong with this town and house?”.

Dan snorts and Jazz knows she’s going to hate what comes out his mouth, him eyeing her, “should I tell him there’s a portal to the afterlife in the basement, or should you?”. She slaps him immediately, wincing from the definite sprained wrist she just gave herself; stupid full ghost jerk. He sticks his tongue out at her and she wants to slap him again; at least his tongue isn't forked at the moment.

Jack pops back in carrying Elle by the waist, her arms and legs dangling down as she giggles, “you good, Jazzy?”.

Dan chuckling, “no. She regrets not warning a certain someone”, putting a hand to his chest, “I fully support that fucking chaotic choice”.

Jazz scowling, “you just enjoy seeing people suffer”.

“Hey, if I’m not allowed to kill folks anymore I gotta get my kicks somewhere? Or would you rather I start skinning animals and leaving their flesh hanging from trees?”. Dan gets bashed off the couch by a baseball bat wielding Danny. “Ow! Seriously mom?”.

“Threaten to skin animals for the lols again and I’ll sic Sam on you”.

Dan puts his hands up, “I’ll pass, you kill joy”.

“Good”.

Bassel gags and makes a face at Jazz, gesturing his hands at Dan as Danny smacks him with the baseball bat again, “what”.

“He’s… got a twisted sense of humour?”.

“Not that!”, Bassel shaking his head, “well yes that, what is wrong with that man. But I mean the mom thing?”.

Jazz eyeballs the full ghost, “Dan’s a tough subject, let’s just say a lot of really nasty things happened to him and at least one psychotic break. And he calls Danny ‘mom’ mostly to annoy him”.

“Oh that’s a lot less weird-”.

“Danny kinda is his mom though”.

Basel groans.

Elle pops her head over the couch, somehow escaping Jack’s grasp, “Danny’s uncle is a mad scientist who has no issue dabbling in super evil human experimentation, Dan and me were tots made from Danny via fucked up science and suffering! Hooray for causing mass confusion!”.

Bassel glancing from the small girl to his girlfriend, “seriously?”.

Jazz sighing, “yeah, sorry. Technically that man’s mine and Danny’s god father, not uncle, but Danny likes to bug the man. Vlad… needs so much therapy”.

Danny shouting, “at least he’s got a cat now! Even if he did name her after mom”; while Dan snags the baseball bat and pops Danny on the head with it. Danny bites the baseball bat.

Bassel shakes his head, “so you weren’t kidding about being somewhat related to one of the richest men on the planet, and he’s basically a crazy super villain; great”.

Jack rubs his neck, “unfortunately yeah, I kinda blew up a proto-portal in his face and he didn’t take that well”.

Jazz puts her hands on her hips, leaning forwards a little, “dad, you guys didn’t visit him in hospital even once, for seven years. Of course he didn’t take that well”.

Danny popping out from behind Jack, “he still complains about that, by the by. I dumped get well soon cards on him last time he was whining about it. Asked him if that made up for it, he shouted no and shot me in the foot”.

Jazz shaking her head, “I still don’t get how you two ever get along”.

“Hey, arch enemies gotta have some bonding time sometimes. Plus, he’s got the good liquor and will absolutely try to bribe me with expensive gifts”.

“And I keep telling you that’s unhealthy and you’re only encouraging him”.

Dan chuckling, “let him, who knows, maybe I’ll get another gremlin sibling”.

Basically everyone, even Bassel, shouting, “NO!”.

Maddie getting back towards the kitchen, and bring out what remains of the ghost-shaped cookies, “cookie?”, offering them to Bassel.

… “are they going to start screaming?”.

Maddie blushing immediately, Jazz covering her mouth and laughing, “no. No. Only things that were once alive tend to do that. Baked goods are fine”, eyeing the cookies, “and they’re not green so they’re safe for human consumption”.

He takes a cookie and munches it very cautiously, “and the green ones?”.

Jazz grimacing, “definitely not safe for human consumption”.

Elle nodding, still behind the couch, “those are for us Phantom’s”. Meaning that now Jazz knows Bassel’s basically going to have to deal with finding out her brother and said brothers kids are all varying degrees of dead.

Bassel eyeing the small child, “do I even want to know?”.

Elle gives a cheery, “nope!”.

Oh okay, maybe her, and thusly Bassel, can dodge that whole situation. Jazz absolutely glares daggers at Dan to say nothing. The man grins evilly but remains silent, thank zone for that.

Bassel taking a breath and slapping his legs before standing up, “okay. Alright. You lot are stranger than I expected but I really like Jazz so I’ll deal”.

Maddie looks relieved but Jack booms, “awesome! You seem like a good guy!”, and smacks Bassel so hard on the back that he gets smacked into the floor and knocked out. Dan’s bending over wheeze laughing, Elle’s floated up into the air curled up and laughing, Danny’s run over to try and help the man while also laughing, and Jazz is shaking a finger at her dad angrily.

Maddie sighs, face in a hand, “Jack”; while Danny’s hoisting Bassel up and back onto the couch, smacking his cheeks to get him to come ‘round.

When Bassel comes to he nearly screams, that Danny boy’s face is inches from his own and he’s crouched on Bassel’s chest. How much did this kid weigh??? And damn were his eyes still extremely creepy. At least he’s clued in what was wrong with him, he was uncanny, like he wasn’t quite human but close enough that it was very wrong in that base instinctual way. The teen grins, it’s like his teeth don’t fit in his mouth and the smile is just a hair too wide. “Cool, you’re awake. Was starting to wonder. Dad smacked you into the floor by accident, if you don’t brace yourself when he goes in for back pats then you’ll wind up on the floor”, titling his head owlishly, “lesson learned?”.

Bassel nodding at the kid that hasn’t moved his face out of Bassel’s, “um, yeah?”, frowning, “your guy’s dad is freakishly strong, you know that?”. The boy just shrugs before hopping off Bassel’s chest, letting him sit up and rub his head a little. “Do your parents always wear the hazmats?”.

Danny chuckles, “yup, and they will still claim they are stylish”, rolling his wrist, “they try to get me and Jazz in ‘em all the time. But hey, I’ll stick to wearing that kinda bullshit when I’m dead”.

Jazz’s head pops out of the kitchen entryway, “oh good, you’re up. You up for pie? There’s eight for some reason”.

“Are… they all the same kind?”.

“Sadly, yes”.

Even he can admit that was sad, variety was nice. But Danny pouts at her, “hey, I’m not about to discourage my personal wannabe poacher just because he doesn’t have a single creative bone in his entire metal mecha suit”. What the hell was any of that supposed to mean? This kid was probably one of the most confusing people Bassel’s ever met, Elle being a close second.

“You could at least try to convince him to try lime cream instead of him shoving lemon cream at you three times a year”.

Bassel holds up a hand, “how old are these pies?”. His girlfriend blinks like that hadn’t even crossed her mind… she might be too used to this level of strange perhaps.

Danny waving him off, “oh I helped him find a solid anniversary gift for his girlfriend, which fine was extremely explosive but eh, so he went a little pie happy. They’re two days old”.

“Oh alright, I’ll have some then”; two days wasn’t even weird. That many pies was odd and how he got them was bizarre, but not as bad as a dog walking on the ceiling or Dan-the-psycho talking about skinning animals like it was funny. Him and Danny joining everyone in the kitchen proper finally. The stove is charred from top to bottom, fires were clearly common. The fridge… was glowing? The toaster looks like it’s definitely some kind of project and not safe to use at all. The table is clean at least, besides the cookie crumbs and excessive amount of pies.

Said pie is extremely good, like professional good. Bassel blinking at it, “damn that’s good”.

Danny chirping, like actually chirping, “I know right?”; how does a human mouth make that sound???

“Then why isn’t… Dan eating any?”; maybe evil or not…

Dan flips Bassel off, grabs a slice and proceeds to hurl it at him; Bassel barely ducking in time while Jazz, Maddie, and Danny all shout, ‘NO!’. Elle is giggling though and Bassel would bet money that’s encouraging the man. Danny smashes an entire pie right in Dan’s face in retaliation, Elle smashing a slice on Danny’s head; it just devolves into a full on pie food fight from there.

Jazz crouch walking to avoid splatter while Maddie shoos the three outside with a broom, Jack following while shouting about getting the hose. Jazz putting a hand on his arm, “you good”.

“What twenty something starts a food fight!”, shaking his head, “better than throwing a knife at me I guess”.

“He usually only throws knives at Danny”.

She said that like it was normal! And not at all disturbing or something to be worried about! “He actually throws knives at people!”.

She winces like she just now realised that wasn’t okay, “right. Don’t worry about it, he might make a lot of threats or do threatening stuff but he’s heavily against going back into solitary confinement”, her huffing, “which I still think was cruel, deprivation chambers are one hundred percent a form of torture and no one deserves that”.

“What kind of jail has a freaking deprivation chamber, oh my god”. No wonder that man seemed like he had the socialization skills of a very threatening murderous brick wall.

The two stand up and they can see the three ‘Phantom’s -he’s still confused on that one but too scared to ask- getting hosed off in the front yard by Maddie; Jack’s helping by physically holding Dan up in the air and laughing. What??? Bassel blinks, “no one should be able to lift that beast of a man up like that”.

And then there’s an explosion, Bassel jerking around and Jazz just turning causally to watch purple smoke leak out from what’s labeled as a lab door. Her grabbing him with a quick, “nope”, and dragging him outside.

“What was that?”.

“Don’t know, but I’m not taking the chance that whatever their latest project is is noxious”, then shouting at her mom, “mom! Something blew up in the lab and it’s leaking purple gas!”.

Bassel very strictly remembers her not long ago mentioning that her parents weren’t big on lab safety, noxious though? These people were completely nuts. His nice, level headed, kind, smart, cautious Jazz came from this??? Yes she could be a little neurotic, especially about food and sharps saftey which he absolutely understood now, and she was a little… spooky sometimes. But still! He still didn’t believe her hair was really that orange without her dying it, even if he’d never seen proof of her doing so. And she always had on some black tourmaline or turquoise that she claimed was ‘protection’, he just thought she was being a little spiritual, now it seemed more like this ghost thing.

Danny shakes his wet hair off like a feral dog, “that’s probably my lunch!”.

Jazz throwing her hands up, “why is it leaking purple gas!”. Bassel muttering, “I think it exploding is more concerning than that”. Jazz shaking her head at him, “Danny’s favourite local restaurant has highly explosive trade marked sauce”.

“What!?!”. How was that even legal?

Danny pointing a finger at Jazz’s face as he moves to head inside to… ‘rescue’ his food, “hey, you haven’t had real food till you’ve had a Mighty Meaty Mega Nasty Melt and Phantomized Fries”, shrugging, “and I was trying to make blackened ecto-wine infused bread, for sandwiches”.

Jazz makes a face at the boys retreating back, “ew”.

Bassel blinking, “did, did this restaurant really name a menu item ‘Nasty Melt’?”. He’s revising his previous opinion, this entire town was nuts; not just these people.

Elle, very wet, bounds over, “yup! It’s called the Nasty Burger, used to be Tasty burger but someone vandalized it and there was a vote to just keep the N”, grinning, “I think it’s funny, the sauce is to die for”.

Jazz cringing, “oh no not the death jokes, at least spare my boyfriend those, ugh”. The little girl sticks her tongue out and pouts a little before running back inside at the pies. Jazz going wide-eyed and following with a shout, “oh no you better not! Mom just got you cleaned up! You put that pie down missy!”.

Bassel cautiously sticking his head in, cautious of both fumes and pie, to stare at his girlfriend holding a literal child at gun point while the child menacingly holds a pie over her own head. “um, why are you threatening a child with a gun”.

She brushes him off like this isn’t messed up, “it’s fine, there’s no normal guns in this household”. What does that even mean? Ghost guns? Is that what this is? Is that why it’s slightly glowing green!

Then Dan scares the crap out of him, speaking up from directly behind him, “I wouldn’t worry about it, she’s a terrible shot anyway. She could put a gun directly against someone’s temple and still hit a cars side mirror instead”.

“I’ve gotten better!”.

“No you have not, you managed to shoot a fire hydrant and set it on fire last time; I was impressed”.

“Shut up, Dan”.

“No I don’t think I will”.

At least Danny, who somehow got behind Elle, takes the pie from the girl and wags a finger at her, “repeat chaos isn’t chaos, it’s a pattern”.

“What if I cut off one of my hands, put it in the pie, then smack her with it? Then it would be a pie high five, not a food fight”.

Danny blinks, “I’m stealing that idea for the next time the Lunch Lady throws flaming stoves at me”.

Bassel… Bassel is not questioning that. “Kid, your mind must be a very strange place”. Sure little kids always said odd stuff, things adults wouldn’t even dream of, but this was a special brand of odd.

Dan shoving his way past Bassel, nearly knocking the guy over and giving him some major hebejebes, to go pat Elle on the head in amusement. Maddie steadying him, “you okay? And at least she’s not as bad as Danny used to be”, crossing her arms and shaking her head, “he thought blackbird pie meant to actually find birds and bake a pie with them. It was incredibly disgusting, especially because he didn’t know how to use an oven yet so he maxed out its temp for three hours”.

Oh okay, so Danny was just like that too. What was that about apples and trees? “That… probably could have gone even worse”. The teen, then kid, could have burned the house down!

The woman grumbled, “at least he’s never sucked the house into the mirror dimension, unlike someone”, as she heads in to help Jazz, Danny, Dan, and Elle actually clean up the pie mess. Jack shouting, “I said I was sorry about that!”. Danny shouting back, “at least no one’s pulled a Technus and walked the house into the ocean!”; while Bassel is wondering how the heck the eldest Fenton heard his wife’s grumbling from the other side of the yard.

There was something seriously physically off with all these people. Including Jazz. He’s feeling very distinctly reminded of a lot of things he’s just sort of brushed off or thought nothing of about her before. He used to think a lot about how vibrant her eyes were, or that her teeth were a touch sharp; nothing like the ‘Phantom’s but still. She was amazing at lock picking and could handle ‘practice’ patients others couldn’t; even if she would also ‘force’ therapy on random people sometimes. And eyeing her parents, they’re the same. Intense eyes, oddly pale almost glassy skin, teeth that feel like they’re sharp but aren’t; it’s not uncanny the way those three ‘Phantom’s were, but it’s still odd.

Dan was the worst though, easily, when the man brushed past him it felt like being cornered by massive wolf or mountain lion. If Bassel had ran into that man randomly on the street there’s no way he’d think he was anything close to human. Danny and Elle at least seemed humanish, almost human; Dan just seemed like he was playing pretend.

Bassel shakes himself off before stepping back into the chaotic Fenton household, “am I going to get pie thrown at me again?”.

Danny looks at him, “nope”, then glares at Elle, “or someone’s losing her Switch privileges”; the girl gasps in horror.

See that? That was normal. Normal punishment, normal reaction to a punishment. Perfectly normal. … Then the girl threatens to ‘liquify herself in protest’; goodbye normal, it was nice while it lasted. Either way he moves to help clean up pie a little, speaking back up, “so your bread fine?”.

“It ate itself and imploded, so no”. What. The boy grins cheerily, right too many teeth, “which means it must have tasted good, meaning I’m on to something”.

“I? Guess?”. He’s honestly just trying not to stare at the teens teeth.

…

They somehow do actually make it to the living room to watch a movie. It actually is a weird B list bird horror flic, which feels too normal now and that frankly concerns him. He’s not sure he wants the get used to this level of insanity. He loves Jazz but he is fully intending to potentially never step foot in this building again after this. How was he going to survive here for a week??? Blinking, oh right, elbowing Jazz and whispering, “hey, all the luggage is still in the car right?”. Then Dan scares the crap outta him again, “don’t bother whispering, I can still hear you”. Jazz grabs a random round thing from the floor to smack the man with for that.

Jazz leaning against Bassel again, “the longer we leave it in the car the longer it’ll take to get contaminated or destroyed, I told you not to bring your expensive computer ‘just in case you had time’ for a reason”.

Considering the amount of mess and literal exploding/imploding -again, what???- bread, he could understand that sentiment; oh and the actual guns apparently just lying around. He is very glad he listened to her, that laptop was never setting an inch of its metal casing in this building. He winces, “yeah, thanks for that”. She pats him fondly.

Danny straightens out so fast that it aggressively startles Bassel. “Oh! Think I should invite Val?”, eyeing Jazz smugly, “since someone brought their little lover”.

Jazz scowls at him, “Danny, I think Basel having to put up with my very weird family including the two weirdest members, is more than enough without adding in your trigger happy girlfriend with serious anger management issues. Especially because I know for a fact she won’t agree to leave all her weapons at home”.

Danny looks offended, putting a hand to his chest and paying no mind to the bird-related massacre happening on screen, “I’ll have you know she doesn’t even sleep unarmed, she hasn’t been unarmed since she was fourteen”.

“Exactly”.

You know what? Bassel thinks that actually makes sense. Danny was too strange to date someone remotely normal. “I’m not even surprised, you’re a little too freaky to date someone who’s just, you know, an average person. So sure, date an aspiring cop or whatever”.

Danny snaps and finger guns at him, “think more like nanobot powered teenage ghost hunter with a jet sled”.

What. Bassel blinking, “so somehow you’re the more normal one in the relationship. This girl’s in therapy right”. Jazz actually laughs at that.

Danny screws up his face, “Ancients you sound like Jazz”, looking at her, “he sounds like you”, looking back to Bassel, “and eh, my personality has more sparkles and explosions”, tilting his head, “besides, how am I freaky, besides the gremlin energy and general chaos anyways”.

Dan snorting, “and the fact that you think dumpster chic is a good thing”.

“As if you don’t wear the same”.

“Excuse you, I lift all my clothing off of the finest of corpses”.

Bassel, and Danny for that matter, gag; Danny’s seems more mock dramatic gag though. Bassel shaking his head, “add in the fact that if someone told me you were actually a doll pretending to be human, I’d believe them”.

That gets him multiple odd looks, including from Jazz. No one bothers to pause the movie even though everyone’s attention is now on him as she quirks an eyebrow at him, “what do you mean by that? Sure my little brother can move too quietly or too quickly, and his still too skinny and pale, but I wouldn’t call him possibly inhuman looking”.

Danny points at his face, “I’m pretty sure if I looked legit freaky Dash would mock me relentlessly for it”.

Bassel is baffled, are these people just… used to him so much they don’t notice? And Dan’s just looking to the side snickering meanly, Bassel almost gets the feeling the man knows what he’s talking about. Bassel looking at each of them, “you’re telling me you guys don’t notice his skin looks like weirdly glassy play dough? Or his eyes are too big? That his teeth don’t fit in his face? He’s weighs less than a bag of potatoes!”. They all look very confused and turn to stare at Danny, who shrinks down a little awkwardly; Dan’s laughing is full on guffaws now, head tilted over the back of the chair that apparently sometimes screams. When Elle points at her own face and grins too wide, Bassel nods, “yes, you too. Less than, your uh, dad but still”, gesturing at everyone, “honestly all of you have hair that’s too strongly coloured, overly vibrant eyes, and no skin texture”, scratching his head, “I thought my girl just had a spot on skin care routine and impressive hair colouring technique that she refused to share”. Jazz fiddles with her orange hair a little, making him feel a little guilty. Bassel coughing, “not that I dislike that”. Dan barks out another loud laugh.

Jazz eventually hurling another random Bassel doesn’t know what at the man, “stop laughing! Us looking weird to normal people isn’t funny! You jerk!”.

Oh okay. So they don’t know. That was weird? Does no one in town comment on it? Does no one even notice it? Was everyone in this town that strange??? Or was everyone in town strange looking themselves?

Dan huffing another laugh, “oh it very much is! Especially because I already knew and did in fact tell you morons”, waving a hand around leisurely, “not my fault you shits thought I was just being an ass”. Bassel guesses it makes sense that the strangest and most startling looking -and feeling, frankly- one would be the one to notice.

Danny looks offended, “and how do you know this? The fuck Dan”.

The man scowls meanly, it’s very mocking, “oh I don’t know, maybe because I spent ten years travelling the globe randomly killing people? Maybe that’s it? I’m the only fucker here who’s done enough travelling to tell people find this face”, gesturing at his face and smirking, “alarming, and not just because I was usually either threatening to kill or trying to kill them”.

“What? you walked around with that face?”.

“Eh I got bored of the other one sometimes”.

Bassel is choosing to ignore part of this conversation, otherwise he’s not going to get over his girlfriend being related to what’s sounds like more ‘mass murderer’ than ‘single murderer’. Not to mention that he doesn’t want to know what is meant by the murderer having different ‘faces’. He doesn’t want to know if this man’s a real life leather face.

Elle pouts, “I travel a lot, no one tells me I look weird?”.

“Sis, you’re a kid, all little brats look fucking weird”.

The little girl giggles, earning a fond but very quick look from the large man. At least it seemed like he actually liked his family maybe.

Danny gestures at nothing and scowls at Dan, “Dan, you’re a six foot eleven wall of muscle with a face that’s default setting is evil smirk, of course people think you look scary!”.

“Oh people found me disturbing when I was wearing your skin too, mom”.

“Fuck you”.

Bassel forces himself not to ask how that’s even possible. ‘Wearing the skin’ of someone who still has their skin is impossible and not to mention the size difference, it wouldn’t fit; why is he even thinking about the logistics of this?!? Ew!

Jack scratches his head, “while I can’t say I see, I doubt you’re making stuff up”, looking at Maddie, “all the ecto you think?”.

The mother nods to herself, tapping her chin, “there’s not much else it could be, especially if our oddness is merely tamer versions of Danny’s and the grandkids”.

Bassel is lost, looking to Jazz and quirking an eyebrow. She cringes, “Danny has a very intense version of ecto-contamination”. She says that like it’s not extremely weird and concerning.

Danny chuckling, “if by that you mean I’m fucking half dead then yeah”.

Jazz swats him, “Danny! For zones sake!”.

“Hey!”, Danny sticks his arms out nearly smacking multiple people, “if I’m that freaky looking then there really isn’t a point, Jazz!”.

“I hate that you’re right!”, Jazz huffing while Bassel is officially realising that everyone just shouts at each other in this house, regardless of if they’re happy or mad or excited. Her turning to him, “my brother’s a bit dead”.

Bassel absolutely squawks at that, “what”. And then suddenly the kid’s glowing and his eyes are green, the actual hell? Elle leaning forward, sticking her tongue out and pointing at her face, also with green eyes and glowing. Bassel cautiously and slowly eyeing Dan, his eyes flash blood red and yup, glowing.

Okay. Alright. He’s in a room full of glowing people, what is he supposed to do with this? He officially thinks that anyone who has ever found out someone else wasn’t quite human in a movie was way too damn calm about it!

Jazz winces a little, she can tell her boyfriend has absolutely no idea how to react to his girlfriend's glowing family members, so she pats his shoulder, “is it weird? Yes. Am I glad my brother is only partially dead? Absolutely. Don’t worry about it?”.

He blinks owlishly at her, clearly freaked out, “it’s kinda hard not to worry about my sister having dead family members kicking around and her whole family including her being contaminated by ghost stuff enough to alter their appearances”.

Then Danny goes and opens his stupid mouth, holding up a still glowing finger, “technically, Dan’s the only one that’s totally dead. Me and Elle are still alive-ish”.

Bassel blinks again and asks something that Jazz really wishes he didn’t, “and why’s he the dead one?”, in a squeaky voice; the movie is absolutely long forgotten at this point.

Dan’s smirk is flat out evil and before anyone can stop him he responds, “oh only because I got my human shit torn out and disemboweled it. Ate half my uncle and flew off into the sunset”.

Bassel leans so far away he nearly falls off the couch, “what. The. Fuck”. While everyone else, even Elle, chastisingly shouts, “DAN FENTON!”, at the smirking full ghost. The tact on that jerk! The only tact he had was evil tact, that sought chaos and destruction!

“OoOooOOoOO, full name, I’m So HuRt. I’m So UtTeRlY aPoLoGeTiC. Truly”. The ass doesn’t mean a damn word of that and he wants them to know it. He smirks, “if we want to play that game I can just show him what I really look like”.

Danny standing up and pointing at Dan, “do that and I’m souping you”. Dan puts an offended hand to his chest and scowls deeply.

Bassel sputters, “I am never asking you people questions again, oh my god”.

Jazz can’t even blame him, even if she knows he eventually will ask more questions about, well, their everything. It was hard not to after all. She rubs his arm, “you really shouldn’t think about it too hard or worry, yes we’re used to it and know the admittedly weird science behind it”, cringing, “even if apparently only one of us was aware none of us looked normal”.

He blinks harshly, swallowing, “uh huh. You guys have a bathroom, right. Because I definitely need to decompress by staring into the mirror for a concerning length of time”.

Not good. Jazz wincing and getting up, “I’ll show you”, then pausing and eyeing Danny, “is the bathroom actually clean”.

Danny tilts his head and grimaces, also not good, “maybe don’t open the lower left cupboard”.

“Right”. Damn it, Danny. Pulling Bassel along as they head upstairs, “okay so listen to him and don’t get curious. He might have spilled something and not cleaned it so it’s gotten moldy. Or he shoved goddamn bandaging under there. Or there’s a ghost trapped in the cabinet”.

“I… kind of hate that I’m hoping it’s the first one”.

“Well considering it’s Danny, it’s probably the second. He gets injured a lot and has a non-existent biohazard safety mindset”, gesturing at the open bathroom, “anyway, here”.

… “is Danny why the shower floor looks bloodstained, wait never mind I don’t want to know”.

She gives him a supportive shoulder pat as he goes in and close the door almost hard. This… this has not gone well. At least he hasn’t ran out screaming? Yet anyways.

She heads back down stairs, pointing at Dan, “I’m blaming you, because it is your fault”, pointing at Danny, “and yours, because you somewhat made him”.

“Hey! He made himself!”.

“And he is you so my point still stands”.

“Jazz!”.

Jazz doesn’t really care that being reminded of that fact bothers her little brother, him and his off shoots have basically been terrorising her boyfriend. He should be bothered! “I am gonna be so mad at you if he decides this is too much”. At least everyone winces apologetically, except Dan who just glances away which was the closest he usually came to a ‘sorry’.

Jack rubs his neck, “sorry, Jazzy-pants. Want us to bring your guy’s stuff in?”.

She scowls, she’s not going to effectively trap her boyfriend here by doing that, “considering I don’t even know if he wants to stay here now, no dad”. Her dad winces further, good.

She sighs, flopping back down on the couch, “let’s just rewind and finish the movie. Like normal people”. Dan snorts at her and she glares bloody murder at him.

Okay. So. His girlfriend’s family are not ‘weird’, rather they are actually insane and physically impossible. Which is extremely not okay. But he likes Jazz, a whole lot actually. A ton even. She was odd but not insane or too physically impossible; and she didn’t live here, he wouldn’t have to see these people -especially Dan- often. A handful of times a year at best right now. Hell she might be annoyed enough to ban that Dan guy from being within ten feet of him; Bassel would not complain about that. Her parents at least seemed harmless, over enthusiastic and strange but acceptable. However he knew for a fact that him liking or not liking her parents didn’t mean much, she’s made it clear that she doesn’t think too highly about their opinions. Her brother though, he knows she loved that kid, sometimes she made it sound like she was more his parent than their parents were. Said brother was half freaking dead. Because apparently ghosts are a real thing and can just walk around the living like it’s nothing… and also apparently being half alive was a remotely possible thing. Also Danny, a teen, has kids. Two kids. One who’s clearly older than him and committed a likely extremely disturbing amount of murder.

Well…

They’re not Jazz’s kids. So he, maybe? won’t have to deal with them much. Jazz seemed surprised they were even here after all. Alright. Okay. He can deal with this.

That’s frankly a lie.

But he can at least manage and pretend he’s cool. Then, when they go back to uni he can have a mild freak out in his dorm room and their relationship can go back to sort of normal. He is absolutely going to ask about her ‘ecto-contamination’? later though, and if those stories about her ‘communing with ghosts’ were actually true and was she just talking to her brother or was she also talking to other ghosts.

Pushing himself off of the sink he’s been leaning on and slapping his cheeks, “you got this, man”. His reflection does not copy him.

What the actual hell is wrong with this place? Besides the apparent portal to the afterlife in the goddamn lab. How did these people break a mirrors ability to mirror? Shaking his head and pulling out his phone, okay he’s looking these people up, like he goddamn should have already.

…

Okay yeah they just are fully public with the ghost hunting thing huh? That must have been fun to grow up with. Jazz did say she tried to separate herself as much as possible from them as a teen, this is absolutely why. And apparently her brother saved an entire species of gorillas? By… climbing in one’s cage… so he’s just always been crazy and reckless, got it; but hey, at least the gorillas aren’t extinct now.

Bassel’s not surprised that looking up Elle gets him nothing, she’s a young child after all, but Dan? For a supposed murderer there isn’t even a single result about him. No wiki article, no victim impact statements, no mugshot, no public court files, no morally questionable serial killer podcasts, nothing. Weird. But he’s absolutely not asking the man about that, because he doesn’t know what kind of nightmarish response he’s going to get. Considering his age -aka, being literally older than his freaking parent- it might be some sort of time travel thing, which he mildly hates the entire notion of, especially since he’s not going to claim he knows what’s possible or not now.

After all, his reflection is still just ‘standing’ there staring at him while he’s been pacing back and forth staring at his phone. He’s not googling his girlfriend of course, that would be creepy, but what about the ‘Phantom’ thing? That… that gets a lot of results. Freaky ones.

…

So…

Apparently…

This town has a goddamn dead superhero? That’s a freaking colour inversion of Danny with green eyes and also named Danny? Which there is no way that’s ’just a coincidence’. So Jazz’s brother is kind of dead, has an ‘arch enemy’, and is almost definitely some kind of dead superhero. Cool. That’s… that’s not completely insane at all. He officially feels like he’s in a knock off marvel movie with a secret identity reveal and everything.

And oh hey! Girl in red on a jet sled, Danny’s girlfriend, also definitely a superhero. Cool. This is Hell.

… Based on all the photos and videos of full blown super powered fights this town might actually be part of hell or an afterlife full of apparently violent dead people. No wonder Jazz was leery of him so much as visiting her home town, nonetheless her parents. A google of the stats shows that these ‘ghost attacks’ happen multiple times a day and it looks like they sometimes did a concerning amount of damage. Also the mayor is that Vlad guy? The evil uncle god father arch enemy guy. Why? How even? … It was probably mind control. Oh he kind of hates this.

Also though, how the heck was this town and this whole ghosts and a death dimension situation, not known about world wide?!? If it’s some kind of government suppression of information he’s going to scream; not actually scream just… internally scream. You’d think this would be something that’s in national news, an actual real life superhero and villains, another dimension, the afterlife… Okay perhaps being super public about an after life could cause some issues among religious groups.

Then his reflection growls at him.

Nope.

He’s not dealing with that.

He’s out of the bathroom in two seconds flat, practically rushing down the stairs, wheezing. Everyone, but Dan, is on the couch again apparently finishing the bird movie; Dan is just outright nowhere to be seen which he is a-okay with. “My reflection growled at me”. Jazz buries her head in her hands, this was obviously not how she wanted this first meeting to go; it wasn’t how he wanted it to go either, but he didn’t know it going this absurdly was even possible. Meanwhile Maddie and Danny shout, “JACK!”, clearly thinking the mirror is his fault. Wasn’t something about him going to the mirror dimension mentioned earlier? or is he just starting to come up with his own crazy possibilities.

The large man runs his neck, laughing, “whoops! Must have grabbed the wrong mirror!”.

“Wrong? Mirror?”. Damn right, he said he was done asking these people to explain literally anything.

Bassel eyeballing Jazz’s dad as he gets up and begins to move upstairs, “ah yeah, Danny-boy head-butted the old one so it had to be replaced, musta got the new mirror and the dimensional mirror mixed up!”.

Why is this kid head-butting mirrors and why does this family just have a ‘dimensional mirror’? Ugh, Bassel’s poor head. Jazz apparently has these same questions, or one of them at least, as well as the willingness to ask it. “Little brother? Why were head-butting the mirror? Young Blood isn’t trying to give you another nervous breakdown, is he?”; Bassel can practically feel the worry in her voice.

Danny scowls dramatically, “I’m fine, Jazz. No need to psycho babble me, Ancients. Skulker just decided that tooth brushing time was good head shooting time, I confiscated his right arm for that and he didn’t get it back for three days”, the kid looks proud of himself, “he hasn’t attacked me in the bathroom since”.

Bassel blinks, slightly horrified, Danny what? stole some… ghosts arm? as punishment? “Uh, I’m pretty sure a supposed superhero teen is not supposed to go around stealing people’s limbs”. Jazz groans very loudly and very tiredly.

Danny laughs, “oh! You looked me up huh? Don’t worry, I only took his mecha bodysuits arm, not his actual real arm”.

That’s… stranger but better. Then Elle pipes up, “even if he had it wouldn’t matter! See-”.

“NO!”.

Bassel is not going to ask why Danny just grabbed both of her wrists and glared at her. He has absolutely learned that if someone, or everyone, shouts ‘NO’ at someone else then he absolutely did not want to know why. Instead he watches his girlfriend get up and smile very awkwardly at him, he’s unpleasantly aware of the fact that her teeth were probably whiter than they should be, “you okay? Are we good?”.

“Absolutely not, but yes, yes we’re alright. I am absolutely not visiting here frequently though. And if Dan ever shows up anywhere near my dorm I’m hitting him with a frying pan immediately”.

She actually chuckles at that, “that’s fair, I tried to shoot him when we first met and tried to hit him with the creep stick the second time”. He’s not going to ask what a creep stick is, but he’s glad she had the sense to hit someone who’s clearly dangerous. “But call if he does do something that stupid, which he shouldn’t if he knows what’s good for him. He will only laugh if you hit him with a frying pan”.

Maddie shaking her head and getting up, “I’ve done that a time or two, he has a habit of trying to sneak food or add poisons just to see if he can get away with it”. Bassel doesn’t have words to express how concerning that is. “And I’m sorry this hasn’t been the best impression, it’s also unfortunately not the worst either though”. Oh. This could be worse? How? Blowing up the house? Hospitalising him? Probably!

Elle sticks a star sticker on him, “congratulations! For passing the weirdness tolerance test!”, looking back at Danny, “am I allowed to try and bite him now?”.

“No, you little shit”, Danny grumbling, “teething preteens are the worst”.

Wasn’t teething supposed to be something babies did? He wants to ask but nope, he’s not going there.

Then Jack’s voice startles him a good bit, “Your reflection must have been staring at you for a while there, buckeroo! Had to really shake it to get him to go away”.

Man was Jack ever a loud guy. Bassel chuckling awkwardly, “yeah I was a little preoccupied and choosing to ignore the insane broken mirror”.

Dan has apparently come back, “ha! You’re lucky your reflection didn’t try to reach through the mirror and strangle you”.

Bassel is not asking. Bassel is not asking. Bassel is not asking. But note to self, do not ignore sentient reflections that move of their own accord. Jazz even shakes her head, “okay that wasn’t the smartest decision you could have made, but I get it”, and she gestures at the couch, “want to finish the movie? Then we can get our stuff in?”.

He sighs, tired, “yeah, yeah, that’s… that’s good”. Just let everything else be normal, or as normal as it can be with the literal walking dead being in the room. Elle grabs him and Jazz before dragging them to the couch, the child is way too strong.

Jazz can practically feel the relief in her bones when they make it through the rest of the movie without anymore incidents, everyone getting up and Jack grabbing a scowling disgruntled Dan to help bring stuff inside. Dan grumbling, “I feel the need to point out that Danny is just as strong as me even if he looks like a damn beanpole”.

Danny shouting, “you mean I’m stronger than you! And hey! I’m lean!”, after them.

Bassel quirking an eyebrow at Jazz, her shaking her head with a small smile, “ectoplasmic energy counts for more than physical appearances with ghosts, my little brother might still be a child and thusly hasn’t hit his growth spurt yet, but he can absolutely take his kid down a peg or two”. And he absolutely loved to pester Dan about that fact, while Dan loved to pester Danny about still being ‘puny’.

Dan growls from the garage doorway, “You lot would be dead otherwise and you know it”.

Jazz rolls her eyes, “maybe at one point but we’ve grown on you, don’t lie mister”. The full ghost only grumbles incoherently in response.

Of course her dad tries to open the trunk before Bassel can unlock it, resulting in him picking the car up, Dan having to catch the car when the trunk opens taking dad’s grip with it. Dan chuckling, “normally I’m the one who’s into picking up vehicles”.

Dad chuckling himself, “yeah and you usually throw them when you pick them up!”.

Bassel shakes his head as the full ghost sets his car on the ground fully, “do not throw my car, do all of you just have super strength”.

Jazz facepalms when her dad tilts his head like a puppy, “little cars like these aren’t that heavy though? I could have lifted this back in my college years even”. Bassel looks baffled when she glances at him.

Jazz sighing at her dad, “Dad, your parents were ghost hunters too, you’ve probably been contaminated your whole life, like me and Danny”.

“Oh right! Ha! I forgot about that! Silly me!”.

Bassel shakes his head in disbelief but takes a few of his things instead of letting the two much larger men carry everything. Jazz makes zero attempt to help Dan with any of it, her sticking her tongue out him instead. He snickers at her, “really taking the higher road here, aunty”.

“Like you’re one to talk”.

“The high road and I are incapable of coexistence”.

“Exactly”.

At least it seems like Bassel is fondly amused with their bantering, instead of disturbed, as they move from the garage and up to her old room/the spare room. Her eyeing her mom while the three men set things down in the room, “so where are Elle and Dan staying?”.

Dan scoffing from inside the room, “you say that like I sleep at all”. She studiously ignores him.

Her mom humming, “why don’t you ask Elle? Because I’m not sure”. And Elle pops out from behind Maddie, “we’re not. Grandma Pandora’s supposed to give me some sword fighting lessons!”, pouting, “and I gotta practice if I ever want to beat pops someday”.

Danny can be heard shouting, “like that’ll ever happen!”, from somewhere; and the little missy is off like a rocket after her dad probably to tackle him.

Dan growling, “if you try to make me organize your guys shit I’m going to intentionally remove every screw, battery, and third paper from everything I can get my claws on”, before Jack laughs and pushes the ghost out of the room. Dan eyeing Jazz, “and if you’ll remember, I’m not ‘allowed’ to be out past sunset”.

Ah right, she did actually forget about that. “Serves you right”. As he heads down and back to the living room he sticks his tongue out at her, it absolute is forked this time.

Bassel popping his head out of the room, “you want your studies and research notes left on the night stand? And remind me why we’re staying inside this strange house instead of a hotel, there’s… mold with eyes I think, in the corner”. Her wincing, “because the hotel has mandatory waivers and doesn’t allow Fenton’s”, then nodding up at him, “yeah my stuff’s fine there, don’t put anything in the drawers, sometimes stuff just vanishes inside for an unknown reason”. Based on him ducking back in immediately, he had in fact put some stuff inside a drawer and the sigh of relief and her dads light hearted laughter tells her that whatever it was was still there. At least some things were going right.

And then it promptly goes horribly wrong as soon as Bassel comes out to go back downstairs with her. A massive black star speckled ghost phasing their way down through the goddamn ceiling, Bassel going stalk stiff while Jazz dashes up the steps with him in her grasp and ducks both of them into the bathroom. Bassel sticking his head out of the bathroom while crouching just like her and whispering, “was that thing a freaking ghost? What the hell, babe”.

Her basically hissing at him, “yes, and a very powerful one”. Bassel grumbling, “I think today hates us”. She whole heartedly agrees.

Meanwhile the ghost is shouting, “PHANTOM! I request your aid!”, and from her and Bassel’s bathroom vantage point it looks like the ghost just got punched in their masked face -based on them being pushed back out of the kitchen entry way with a hand to their face- by Dan, who stomps out snarling, all fang but thankfully still human-looking, “wrong one, you sleepy ass”.

Starry sleep ghost… starry sleep ghost… ah right! Their name was Nocturne right? Her little brother did try to get her to remember the names of the more important ghosts after all. “Nocturne?”.

Oh she shouldn’t have said anything. The ghost looks to her and ‘brightens up’ in that cruel looking way many ghosts do, them promptly stretching and looming their body up and head over her and Bassel, “ah, young Phantom’s brethren. Do you know as to where I can find the one that will not attempt to eat beings of ancient malevolence?”. Bassel is shaking and she’s worried he’s going to pass out.

Dan rams a clawed hand into the ghosts body, “I’m true malevolence, mother fucker. Get back here”.

Thankfully Danny -in his ghost form unfortunately- pops in before Dan can do something stupid, “Dan! Leave the freaking god of sleep alone! Oh my Ancients!”. Him pointing at Nocturne’s face as the ghost moves down to him completely ignoring Jazz and Bassel now, “what the zone, Nocturne? You can’t just bust into my lair core whenever you feel like it just because I don’t get enough damn sleep”.

The ghost holds up a finger, “ah but that is hardly the reason for my arrival, I have seemed to ‘fucked up’, as you would say, to an unfortunate degree”.

Danny sighs and sags his entire body, floating in the air, “ugh, what did you do?”.

“I acquired-”.

Danny interrupting immediately, “You mean stole”.

“I acquired some eternal gardenia from FungalLung, they have now beset my domain with pink dew and blood blossom seeds”.

“Why the actual crap would you steal from that split personality psycho? There’s a reason no one goes near that kids garden”.

“I had a need for such things, as someone-”.

“Oh no, no blame game bullshit outta you, shit ass”.

“Our king needs to be-”.

“Needs to be allowed to have a bit of goddamn fun and some breaks, that’s what he needs. Now play guide, you reckless starry blanket”, Danny eyeing Dan, “Dan. Let. Go”.

Dan flinching and doing as he’s more or less commanded to. Scoffing, crossing his arms, and moving back into the kitchen with a tense, “whatever”.

Bassel wheezes when the ghost and her brother disappear through the floor, Jazz standing up fully and pulling him along with, “great. Just great. Love it. What next? An invasion?”.

Elle hums, “I mean, I could ask mythic grandma if she’s up for one”.

Jazz and Maddie both pointing at her aggressively with matching, “absolutely not”’s. Making the girl giggle. Jazz looking back to Bassel, “I promise you’re okay and not about to get attacked. Are you feeling okay?”.

“I am ten seconds away from wanting to lay on the carpet and scream cry into it, and I am positive I need a shock blanket”.

At least she doesn’t even have to ask her mom to get one for her to rush off and do so, Jazz and Maddie herding him into the spare room wrapped up in a Fenton ghost proof shock blanket in record time. Jazz nodding softly at her moms apologetic look and gesturing for her to leave them be, dad following his wife out with an exaggerated wince.

She shuffles up next to him and rubs his arm from over the blanket, effectively side hugging him, “okay so you’ve properly seen your first ghost, and they were unfortunately one of the non-human ones; but, Nocturne is quite safe actually, more a neutral being than malicious”.

He nods a little.

“They do tend to harass my brother a lot since they care a lot about sleep and he doesn’t get nearly enough of it”, shaking her head and laughing lightly a little, “and yes, what Danny said is true, they are for all accounts and purposes the god of sleep”, sighing, “nearly every god worshiped through out history is real and, yes, a ghost”.

He swallows, pulling the blanket around himself more, “that’s… kind of insane and a lot”.

Jazz nods more so to herself, she had a hard time swallowing that herself as a teen, “I know. I still find it a bit baffling myself and it is extremely strange actually meeting any of them”.

“At… at least you actually seem weirded out. Everything… else doesn’t seem to be, uh, strange, to you”.

“I’m used to it, more than I’d really like to be. I definitely wi- would prefer if my family was more normal, even marginally. And I’d rather my brother not be wrapped up in all this the way he is. Even Dan and Elle often feel that way, even if they wouldn’t exist if he wasn’t involved so heavily in everything”.

“That’s, concerning, actually”.

Jazz pats his arm some, “they haven’t had the best existences”.

Dan then startles her, voice coming through the door, “and there’s the simple fact that everyone would be better off if I never existed”.

Jazz sighing to herself and looking to the door, “Dan that’s not true”.

“And that’s crap and you know it, don’t bullshit me Jazz”; it sounds like he’s stomped off. She’s… going to have to talk to him later.

Bassel shivers, “he’s got a lot of… issues, huh”.

Jazz sighing and nodding, closing her eyes, “if people tell you you’re a monster enough that becomes all that you are and healing becomes nearly impossible”, shaking her head and looking at him, he’s watching her intently, “Elle and Danny are good for him but his emotions don’t work like they’re supposed to because of what happened to him. He’s also partly being pissy because Danny genuinely scolded him. Anyone exerting their power over him tends to rile him up, whether he wants it to or not”.

“Part of him being a, uh, ghost?”.

She nods, “yup. Though I doubt talking about Dan is great for you right now”.

Bassel looks away and stares forwards, “no, probably not”, shaking his head and readjusting into the blanket, “… that, ghost, called your brother a king, didn’t they”.

Jazz shrugs, “he tires not to let it get to his head”.

He shakes himself a little, shaking his head slowly side to side, “yeah no, I’m not pushing. Though is that why he feels like death, the pressure of death at least, when he looks all black and white”.

“I… if he feels like that I’ve never noticed, sorry. But I was living with him when that change happened so it very well might have happened slowly, over time”.

“I guess that makes sense, it almost felt hard to breathe when his voice got… thick? at Dan”.

Jazz blinks, nodding immediately, “ah that’s actually a specific power he has. He mostly just uses it to get across that he’s not playing around, that he’s being serious”.

“Effective”.

Jazz nods slowly, letting him just breathe for a bit. She guesses she can understand how her brother can be a bit much, and it was definitely for the best that Bassel found out before a ghost crashed the party that her brother was a ghost himself. Then he speaks up again, “you’re entirely alive, right? I know you have a lot of spooky rumours that follow you and, like I said, you do look off. So, you’re not a ghost, right?”.

Jazz is tempted to laugh, instead she just shakes her head, “no, not even a little bit”.

“Good. That’s good”.

She just hums, nodding to herself. Waiting for him to work through his own head. Hearing about ghosts and seeing one were very different things, and an Ancient was hard to run into no matter what Danny said. She swears it’s like he forgets that he is in the same sort of classification as them. But at least it seems like Bassel’s handling it better than many do, better than most non-Amity Parkers at least. And then her dad goes and bangs the door open, nearly making Bassel fling himself off of the bed, “I made hot chocolate!”.

“Dad! He’s trying to wind down! Not get the zone scared out of him!”.

Her dad wincing, “ah sorry, Jazzy”, holding up the two cups, “hot chocolate?”, and tilts his head to the side.

Jazz sighs, side eyeing Bassel to make sure he isn’t going to freak out further before getting up and grabbing the cups, “I know you mean well, dad, but you’re still a very loud, very large, presence”.

He rubs his neck and laughs awkwardly, tilting sideways enough to look at Bassel. Giving her boyfriend a thumbs up, “you kids get settled, no funny business”.

“Oh my zone!”, she shoves him out with a foot, barely managing not to spill, and kicks her door shut. At least she manages to give Bassel the hot chocolate gently, “that man, I swear”.

Bassel genuinely laughs though, staring at the hot chocolate in his hands, “that was so utterly normal dad behaviour though, it’s grounding actually”.

Huh. Guess he actually did a good job. “Then I owe him an apology”. She makes her sip on the hot chocolate -that’s already been adequately cooled, thanks dad genuinely- loud, purely to encourage Bassel to drink his.

He notices the cooled temp too, “he waited till it was cool but not too cool, huh?”.

“Yeah. He’s a bit of a fool and reckless but he cares a lot and has a good heart that’s as big as he is”.

Bassel humming and they sit in silence for a bit until, “is your brother going to be okay? I know I called him a superhero and google seems to say he is but…”.

“Oh superhero is very accurate by human standards, but by ghosts he’s basically normal. Behaviour wise at least. Most of the time”, shaking her head, “he’ll be fine, even if it sounds like he might wind up with a case of Blood Blossom poisoning again”.

“Let me guess, ghost poison?”.

“Yup”.

“That’s absurd”, and he sips at his hot chocolate some, “he’s not going to vomit on the floor is he?”.

Okay she can’t help but laugh at that, shaking her head, “no, no, more coughing fits, aches and pains, and muscle spasms. That’s only because he’s alive enough to not be fully affected”.

“Hence why this powerful ghost came for his help?”.

Jazz nodding, “hence why a powerful ghost came for his help”, tilting her head, “though if I remember right pink dew is a psychedelic, so he also might be high when he gets back”.

“Oh god, I don’t think that kid should ever do drugs. Being near your entire family is like being on drugs”, sticking his arms out of the blanket and gesturing the mug around, “if I woke up in the morning and was told this was all one big fever dream, I’d believe it”.

“That’s understandable. Which is why the rest of the world considers this town a hoax”.

“Yeah I was wondering about that”, he downs a considerable amount of his drink, “you’d think the whole world would know about this. But I guess that would cause an uproar”.

Jazz sighing, almost annoyed, “yeah, the government does try to keep a lid on everything”.

“God damn it. Seriously? Ugh. I hate that I called ‘government cover up’ as the why”.

“There’s more to it but the rest is a lot weirder to the point where even I don’t want to think about it. It’s actually in the category of too weird”. Her little brother mind wiping an entire planet after fighting a reality controlling clown that turned roads into rollercoasters and made him fight a fire breathing clown and a lava pit full of rubber ducks, was so many steps past extremely strange.

Bassel full body cringing, “then I definitely don’t want to know. I do want to know if the stories about you communing with ghosts in your dorm are true though, and if your dorms is ‘contaminated’”, looking down at the cup, “and we should thank your dad for this. It was pretty good”.

Jazz blushes a little, “they’re true, even ghosts need therapy and I don’t need my license to give it to them. Sometimes it is just Danny though, and I’m good about keeping on top of decontamination, so don’t worry about that”, then eyeing him, he still seemed a little out of it and shocky but he was definitely better and really there was no normalising or rationalizing her family, “we’ll go down and thank him if you’re alright”.

He nods down at the cup and to himself, then looking at her with a nod and shaking smile, “I’m going to be digesting all of this for days at least, but I’m okay, babe. I absolutely hope today was the weirdest day of this week visit though”.

Jazz hums, standing up and offering him her mug-free hand, “well Dan will avoid Danny for at least a full day and Pandora will keep Elle busy for at least three; so there won’t be their chaos for a little while. As for literal gods showing up, that happens so seldom that I genuinely believe that Johnny’s Shadow might’ve snagged us some bad luck on the way into town”.

“Johnny’s Shadow?”.

Oh maybe she shouldn’t have brought that guy up. Wincing, “um, Shadow is basically Johnny’s pet or familiar? And Johnny is a ghost I may have dated? Once? He wasn’t genuine about it, and I was a dumb teenager who feel for his stupid motorbike and bad boy vibes”.

He actually snickers at her, before laughing fully and having to put the mug to the side to avoid spilling it, “I! Can not believe how stereotypical! That is!”, shaking his head and wheezing, eyeing her, “straight laced, honor role daughter falls for a motorcycle riding bad boy who’s all charm and bad intentions”.

She smacks his arm, “don’t be mean”, she doesn’t mean it at all though, “and Danny actually dated his girlfriend, she was trying to make Johnny jealous”.

“So what I’m getting here is ghosts are seriously just goddamn people, some are just very extra”.

“That’s one way to put it, yeah. Or they’re more like animals”.

Bassel blinks as they shuffle out of the room, “oh thats right, the green dog, where’d he? go?”.

Jazz snorts, “Danny sent him back to, well, the other side as it were; since mom was trying to taser him”. He was always so protective of that dog, even if said dog caused so many issues.

“That did seem a bit excessive”.

“Oh absolutely not, that dog is an actual menace”.

“I’m just going to take your word for it”.

They pop into the kitchen, she’s not surprised both Dan and Elle are gone. “Thanks for the hot chocolate, dad”. Bassel nodding, “yeah, it was really good, thank you”.

Her dad gives a goofy thumbs up, “glad you liked it!”. And she thinks everything might just be okay.

Bassel’s not really sure what to do about all of this. What he does know is that he’s better off not thinking about it and not trying to actually figure out what to do about all of this. He knows Jack Fenton cares a lot, makes good hot chocolate, he’s loud and big, and sure he’s a little off and too strong but he actually is like a puppy. Maddie Fenton was a lot softer, a lot more aware that her family was odd, more socially adept, but she was also more threatening and quick to fight; strange and off as well but she came off as more normal than her husband. Danny was… a nightmare, full stop, he’s a little worried what kind of friends the teen had that could put up with him. He was borderline actually insane, but from what Bassel saw on his google trip he also was a genuinely good kid. Bassel’s fairly certain that even if the world turned against him he’d still fight to save it; that took a level of sheer determination and heart that Bassel probably didn’t have himself. Elle was just a weird kid with too lax and strange of a parent, she might stand a chance at being almost normal someday. Maybe. Dan was an utter psycho though, he honestly can not think of a redeeming quality for that one. Doesn’t even want to try. Because excusing a murderer was not a line he feels like toeing. Jazz says Dan wouldn’t hurt any of them and does love them, but he’s not sold on that; it seemed more likely that she just didn't want to admit that the man was simply an awful unkind corrupt person.

And Jazz?

Well, his opinion honestly hasn’t changed. She’s still awesome, beautiful, caring, neurotic, a worrier, and slightly strange. He wants to think she’d be the same, though maybe less strange, even if she had a perfectly normal and average family. He wasn’t about to let odd family break them up, even if it was the kind of odd normally reserved for tv shows and the weird comics you find at truck stops that are filled with plot holes and questionable narrative direction. Either way he’s sticking around, so long as he can actually physically survive a week in this place.

Him watching as Danny, covered in some kind of clear goo or slime, kicks open the lab door with blown out pupils and a gnarly rash on half his face. “I! Never want to see! Another! Fucking! Person with me damn mushroom eyes again! I feel! Disgusting! Bleh!”, sticks out his tongue and then faceplants onto the floor groaning; the slime stuff splatters around a bit.

Bassel blinks, “um, should someone drag him up to the bathroom or something?”. Then the kid sprouts another set of goddamn arms and hands out of his back and proceeds to dragging himself across the floor and up the stairs with them. “Never mind, what the hell. I never want to see that again”.

Jazz sighs, rinsing out their cups, “he’s definitely high, don’t touch the goo trail”, moving to get the biohazards mop and bucket, “Danny can be a bit of a jerk with the body horror stuff but he usually reserves it for people he knows can handle it”.

“That’s… good. Dear god”.

And then… Danny??? runs up the lab stairs, “did anyone see a body of mine”.

Jazz throws the mop at him and yelps, “what the Zone! Danny?”, making faces at him and pointing at the stairs that still has a slime trial on it, “I have some serious questions”.

He blinks at her, “rogue duplicate”, and runs towards the stairs.

Jazz throws up her hands, “why would you use a power you suck at to deal with drug flowers!”.

“Because I didn’t want to personally deal with blood blossoms!”, the kid slips on the slime and smashes his face into the stairs, “fuck!”, then scramble crawls up the steps.

Bassel grabs the mop back up, ignores that it’s a weirdly hot pink colour, and hands it off to his girlfriend, “so that was a thing that happened”.

Jack starts wheeze laughing, sitting down at the kitchen table, “I hope his duplicate at least had fun!”.

Maddie grinning at the man, “I’m sure it did, Jack hon”.

Everyone, including Bassel, ignores the strange thumping going on upstairs as well as the… arm that comes hurling down the steps and dissolves into green goo against a wall. Staying here was going to give him some extremely unique and unfortunate nightmares, wasn’t it? At least now he gets why his girlfriend had such an easy time writing behavioural papers, she had multiple subject studies. He might even be able to bang out a paper or two on human adaptability after this. He absolutely was not doing any papers on people growing arms out of their backs though, that would get him sent on a grippy sock vacation.

Danny pops back in looking disgusted, “it’s dealt with”.

Maddie eyeing him cautiously, “is the hall way intact?”.

The boy sags and gives a truly crushed, “no”.

At this point, Bassel thinks that’s frankly expected. He also thinks that this household is cursed. At least Jack bounds up the stairs to start fixing the hallway and Bassel legitimately doesn’t care to check out the damage. Truly. Instead he’s just going to sit down with his girlfriend and, like her, mildly regret him coming and going into this ‘cold turkey’. Next time she warns him about something, he’s going to demand an explanation instead of brushing her worries off.

End.

Promtps: Jazz brings a date home for the first time. She didn’t exactly brief them on her family’s whole ghost thing. Antics ensue. All the Fentons are a bit more ghostly than they know The Phantom Clan (Dan, Dani, and Danny) is awake and about to make it everyone's problem Jazz has a reputation at college for being spooky, it doesn't help that she communes with ghosts. Uncanny valley is strong with Danny, most Amity Parkers don't realize it, but any time anyone from out of town sees him, they're in for a spook. Nocturne fucked up BIG TIME and now needs help from the ghost kid.

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phantomphangphucker · 9 days

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I’m not gonna post all the individual chapters to tumblr because there are 15 and I don’t feel like it, but I just realized I forgot to even post a link, haha whoops.

So here’s my Phic Phight fic for @axion-labs’ prompt: Maybe Danny had been having a bit *too* much fun taunting Wes and even transforming in front of him. It was definitely coming back to bite him now...To be fair though, no one knew Desiree was right there. And @phantomphangphucker’s prompt: Wes body swaps with Danny in an attempt to expose him as Phantom, it fails spectacularly.

Mistakes Were Made

See AO3 tags for applicable warnings.

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phantomphangphucker · 11 days

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Phic Phight - A Vega-Bond Space Case

@a-closet-emo @Anguished-Lurker @library-of-cronos @ghostboidanny @lexosaurus @uniasus @redactedgoose

Danny has a thing for space, always had, except now his ‘thing’ for space was more like actually physically BEING space. Danny’s also always had a thing for NASA, these two things were of course related since NASA’s entire thing was space, except now NASA also has a thing for Danny

Danny didn’t exactly have a ton of ways to go about being within his ‘domain’ as it were or satisfying that pesky little obsession of his. Yes he could go star gazing or literally fly up into space, which was great and all, but no matter how much you love and feel fulfilled by something it’s still good and needed to spice things up a bit. ClockWork subtly messed with the time stream in harmless, to time and the future, ways. Nocturne gave people nightmares even though that did disrupt their ability to sleep. Undergrowth went and ‘adopted a kid’ aka Sam to ‘raise someone worthy’ even though there was no need.

In short, everyone occasionally did something different and new.

So, Danny figured he should too. After all, he was still somewhat human and humans get bored and burnt out a lot easier and quicker. And Danny getting bored and burnt out meant an Obsessive crisis or two, which he’d rather avoid thank you very much. So he figured he‘d try something completely new, a way of being all ✨Space✨ by simply talking about it instead of staring at it or being physically surrounded by it. And by talking he means online, because he is not going to attempt to become a science teacher just to talk about space at bored teenagers or something. Sure him starting a vlog to excitedly blab about space was probably pretty silly, and sure he could also use the term vtuber since he used a 3d model to attempt to hide his identity, and sure he didn’t exactly expect many people to care; but it was nice. The 3d model was a fun little project for him and Tuck, and Sam had enjoyed picking out the things quirky clothing, and watching it move to his facial features and voice was really cool. It was almost like getting to listen to someone else blabber about space, which was super nice even if they weren’t actually even a real person or saying anything he hasn’t said before. It’s not like anyone could actually tell him something he didn’t already know anyways.

What Danny hadn’t expected was for his stupid little white-haired (because of course), shark-toothed, sparkly-skinned, virtual model vlog channel to actually do well. Like yes, some of his stuff was shorter clips, more ‘digestible’ as Jazz would say, but most of it was hours of knowledge vomit with breaths usually only taken for comedic effect. Then again, he was obsessed with space before he half died and it literally became his Obsession or before he became the literal god of space; so there was bound to be regular humans who actually did want to watch a five hour video about the composition of Jupiter’s rings and how it having slightly different compositions would change it. He’s still baffled that that video has over one million views, he’s also very thankful he went the 3d model route. He’s also thankful he still finds the channel name he picked funny: Vega-bond, after the North Star and based off of the word vagabond, since space was endless so his home as a being was effectively everywhere and nowhere and he could wander it’s and his own vastness forever. It had also caused some ‘James bond in space’ jokes though, even if he’s never actually see all those movies it was still funny.

Leaning back in his chair and editing a couple more seconds of a clip, taking a bite out of his sandwich and scowling. Ew. He really should learn to stop letting Jazz make food for him. Not only was she just as bad at cooking as he was, possibly worse actually, but she kept putting ectoplasm in his food! Intentionally or not, he doesn’t care. The sandwich goes back on the plate, he’ll get crackers later, right now he’s got a bit on asteroid turn over rates to fix. He’s also pretty sure this is the video where he goes on a bit of a tangent about the flavour of space rocks and what a star would most likely taste like to someone if they were able to eat one. Which fine, not the smartest thing to be talking about in a public form like this but hey, that hasn’t bit him in the ass yet. That Absentiona planet a few galaxies over was way too cool not to talk about okay! At least it seemed like a lot of people either thought he was theorising or that he actually worked with a space program and had been given permission to use the internet to educate people, since most people were not spending their time reading all of NASA’s public reports like he was.

…

Danny was also reading their not public reports of course, a great use of Tuck’s hacking skills if he says so himself. He left most of the internal memos alone since those were near always personell stuff and seldom related to space. (Which was something he was going to regret deeply later or maybe not). He did try to make a point to not talk about missions that hadn’t yet been made public or recent human discoveries that NASA hasn’t yet had a chance to publish their papers and internal memos on, Danny wasn’t trying to accidentally get people accused of plagiarism or rip away months to years of research away from the people who figured it out by stealing their thunder. But he’d get excited and he couldn’t bring himself to cut out stuff after the fact.

So sue him if he’s maybe stolen someone’s thunder once or twice, and maybe talked about things that humans would have never discovered, or things that humans don’t have the physical capability to comprehend. Hopefully no one tries to actually sue him though, if NASA does that he’s positive he’ll ugly cry for, like, a week.

Hearing Jazz footsteps up the stairs he tilts his head back, “Jazz! Neither of us can cook! Including with freaking ectoplasm! Stop trying!”.

She pokes her head into his room with a huff, eyes the sandwich with a single bite taken out of it, “I refuse. I will figure out a way to make it work, you need it”.

“What I need is for my food to be edible and not have definitely old and corrupted ecto in it”.

She winces, “damn. You know I can’t tell that”.

“Then stop trying!”.

“No!”.

Danny picks up the sandwich and makes throwing motions with it, he doesn’t actually throw it because he’ll probably give her a damn ecto-burn with the thing. It’s a miracle it hasn’t started moving on its own yet. she comes in anyways and grabs the plate, putting a hand on her hip and holding it out for him to put the sandwich back down on, “I’ll throw this one in the incinerator, Danny, but I’m not stopping”.

He releases the sandwich, “you suck”.

She rolls her eyes at him and eyes the computer, smiling a little, “I’m not even going to ask, since I can’t grasp your space babble any more than you can grasp my psycho babble”.

Danny snorts, shaking his head as she leaves, his sister cares but damn was it ever inconvenient and hazardous to his health. He was a freaking Ancient after all, he could get by without freaking ectoplasm, he wasn’t some weak level six ghost; stupid cravings or no. Heck, he wasn’t even a child ghost anymore so it was even less necessary! Sighing, “she’s still not going to give it a rest, is she?”.

And then his email pings. Oh cool, it’s probably another comment since it looks like it’s from his channel linked email.

It is an email.

It’s an email from NASA.

Holy shit.

By all the Ancients including himself and every single one of their domains. What the zone?!?

He’s pretty sure he actually squeaked and started floating, some little stars might have even appeared in the air.

What should he do?!? Should he open it?!? Should he ask Tuck to hack it so that the message won’t read as read?!? Should he attempt to knock himself out so he doesn’t have to deal with this?!? Should he take that sandwich back purely so he can give himself a horrific upset stomach with it?!?

It’s fucking NASA!

He can’t just… not. Like, even if that was a good idea he absolutely has to know what NASA wants!

He’s not freaking out, you’re freaking out. He should call someone right?!?

Yes.

Yeah.

He should.

Purely so he doesn’t violently click open the email in Obsession fuelled glee and horror. Tuck doesn’t even get a chance to ask what’s up, “NASA fucking emailed me, man. What do I do?!? Like it’s totally NASA, right email and everything and it’s totally to my vlog email so oh my zone that means that NASA, FREAKING NASA, has been watching my shit! Is this good is this bad should I be complimented? Do they want to talk space or tell me to shut up about space! What am I going to do if they want me to shut up about space I can’t shut up about space and why would I shut up about space! Wait what if they have a space problem and I can like totally help with that shit and they think I’m some odd expert and not some random dude in small town USA! What if they think I’m one of their men and are going to try and give me shit for spilling space secrets because oh shit I’m pretty sure no one actually released that new shit about plutos gravitational pull which is super neat and all but what if they’re mad-”

“Danny man, shut up before you start speaking in tongues or something”

Danny doesn’t even hear him honestly, “-because I could totally understand them being mad but it’s not like I’m actually stepping on their turf since their turf is actually my turf and I’m technically only letting them in it because I can and because people knowing and learning about space is like super cool and I totally would still love to be an astronaut even if that is totally not possible for so many damn reasons! But wait what if that’s what they want that would be so cool! Even if I know that’s not how they hire people and even if I totally disagree with their choice of head engineer because he seems kind of like an ass but hey I’m kinda an ass and I’d be great at the job and oh fuck what if I ignore this for too long and they send another email what do I do then-”

“DANNY!”.

Danny jerks a little bit and falls from the ceiling nearly face planting into his floor, “oh I ah, whoops. Sorry Tuck, it’s just space and NASA and what if they emailed me about space and of course they emailed me about space they’re freaking NASA and my channel is about space we can totally talk space-”.

“I’m going to have Sam show up and throw her shoe at you if you don’t chill, man. I can’t give you advice or offer to try and help, if you won’t let me speak”.

Danny curling into himself and breathing a little, putting a hand over his shirt to feel the way his core is pulsing like crazy, “right, shit, just, give me one second to just vibrate my shit out”.

“Of course, I’m going to hack your email to at least give you a heads up if you should be actually worried”.

Danny wheezing, stars just sort of popping into existence around him, “yeah, yeah, that’s good”; he fiddles with one of the little stars like is a fidget toy. He always loved the way they felt, and tasted, and they just looked stupidly wonderful. Even if he had to be careful about it since him ‘getting starry’ could be hard on people’s eyes. Forming a little planetary ring and swirling it around with his fingers, “how do I even respond to NASA without coming off as crazy?”.

“Do not word vomit? Don’t tell them you’re a space god? Don’t get mad at them for getting something wrong?”.

Danny blinks, twirling the planetary ring around his finger, “so everything I’m inclined to do? Gotcha”.

“Dude”.

“Well what if they ask for my credentials? What else do I have besides acing flight simulators and being a literal god?!?”.

“You do have a point there, but you’re actually good. They aren’t trying to sue or silence you, they aren’t attacking your credibility, they aren’t accusing you of running an illegal space operation, they aren’t questioning if you’re an alien, and they aren’t commenting on you basically having a backdoor into their systems”, he chuckles, “you absolutely should open it, man. Stay on the line because I want to hear you cry”.

Oh? Oh no why would Danny cry??? But Tuck giving him a verbal thumbs up means he can’t not open it right?

He’s stares at the computer and it’s unread email for a while. He’s nearly vibrating out of his skin, he’s pretty sure one of his arms has unfurled as he likes to call it. Spread out into goo strings and pulsating constellations of eyes and teeth, gaps in between filled with galaxy’s and miniature planets that could barely be called an arm with fingers with hundreds of joints that could be long as trees if he let them; as it was they were wrapping around his desk he thinks.

He opens the damn email.

It’s…

It’s a freaking job offer and Danny basically explodes into galaxy’s and constellations and eyes and teeth and bits of different animals, and what comes out of his mouth is utter ghost speak gibberish and random space noises even to his ears. He has to fold his legs and feet under him because they’re just too long when he’s like this, all of him is but his legs are the most needlessly long, but he doesn’t drop the phone at least.

Then Jazz bangs open the door, “Danny what the hell! Oh why!”, and promptly passes out. He manages to catch her with his tail before she hits the ground at least, he forgets that he can be incomprehensible like this if whoever isn’t prepared. He’ll just leave her lying on the fluffy cloud space dust that made up the ‘fluff fur’ at the end of his tail till she wakes up.

Him whining immediately, “T̶͈͎͚͗͗ù̴̢̜͝c̴͖̯͐̔͜k̸̲͇̹̅͑͠ ̶̛̲̀̎I̵͕̔̆ ̴̞̘̌̌̃k̸̦͚̲̎n̸̳͛o̴̟̎c̷̩̕k̶̗͍̽͛̈́ͅe̶̢̛͍̐d̷͎̞͒ ̶̞̞̆̓̕J̵̦̭̤̽ȁ̶̰̖̈́͘z̸̧͇̼͝ẓ̴̹̳̇̑̇ ̵̟͌̈̀o̵̡̝̅ṵ̷̚t̴̺̣͒̓̈́͜!”, and attempting to keep his voice not filled with the sound of dying stars.

Tuck laughs at least, “at this point she should know what she might be in for! You all space lovercraftian jerboa looking?”.

“D̶͙̪̃͠ủ̸̦̕d̵̜̑̔̒ę̴̛̥̻̒ ̶̜̊ͅǸ̵̞̐A̴̤͛͒̃S̸̢̓͗A̸͚̩̿,̴͉̊̔ ̸͂̋̅͜N̶̡̥͇̏A̵͍̐̌͘Ṡ̸͕͛̽Ã̷̯̫!̸̯̩͎̓̇̕,̷̳̈́ ̶̭̥̗̏i̷̥̘̻̐s̵͉͉̹̈͂͐ ̴͖̃͛t̶̘̚r̷͚̀̈́y̸͈͚̕ǐ̵̡ǹ̴͓g̵̣͇̱̚ ̶͖̕ṱ̶̝̫̈̂ö̶̻̲́̌͜ ̵̠̠̑ḩ̴̣̅̆͊i̷͎̠̤͌r̷͈̻͐̀͠e̶̡̮̽̀̈ ̶̡͕͒m̶̧̧̬͒é̷̺͙̈!̸̜̀ ̷̳͒͆Ỏ̸̳͖̰f̴̟̩̈́ ̵̼̔c̵̨͚̅̄͊ǒ̸̺̥̊ͅủ̴͇̬͎ŕ̵̳ṡ̸̟̼̪͋̿ȩ̸̢́͆̈́ ̵̢͔͗͒İ̵̪̦͒ ̷̟͎͉̈́̎â̶̺̭̥m̴̮̄!̵̘̰͛͜ ̴̠̀͠D̶̙͆o̶̠̬͂ͅ ̴̟͕̻̃̅͂t̷͖̦̳̃̂̈́h̷̜̣͊̏ē̴̡y̶̦̙̜͐͗̇ ̴͍̞̉́ͅk̴̗͗n̶̹̒ǒ̵̼̲̬̄̈́w̴̥̄̆ ̶̣̞̂̈w̶̢̧̝͗̕h̶͕͇̓̉͘e̶̳͎̎̅ͅr̵͕̊͆ĕ̷͚̮̾͝ ̶̡̭͊͒Í̴͇͝͝ ̶̦̤̔͂̚l̶͚̦͕̔͝i̴̺̍̄̑v̸̫̎̚͝ė̶̼͔̓͛ ̷̫̥̆o̶̩̍͘͠r̸̮̹͛ ̴̩͔̣͗̍̈́m̵̨̯̲̍y̷̮̤̖̌̾̾ ̵̯̜̈́a̵̪͇̐͝g̸̭͖̋ẽ̶͇ ̶͖͆w̶̔͜h̶͕̖̘͆̒̎y̶͕͇̾ ̸̬̠̈́d̴̰̈́o̷͇̽͒͘ë̴͈̭́s̶̺̭̈́ͅ ̸̜̇͆̌ḯ̷ͅt̷̪̗̩̔̿̇ ̴͖͈̼̄̊͋l̸̛̲͈͐̆ͅǒ̷̡̗ͅö̸̥́̍͆ḱ̷̭̟̪̈́̑ ̵̬̻̈́͘ͅl̴͕̙̞̐i̵̲̥̔̇̕k̶̛̫̎ê̶̼͙ ̴̫͌̑̆t̷̤̀̾ͅh̶̠̻̳͂̏e̸̛̺̣̬͂̾y̶̫̾̊ ̸͖̗̖̓͒̇d̸̮͈͆̿̏o̶̧͇̽͒͝n̶̖̈́’̷̡͔̮́̏t̴̛̙͑͝ ̶̡̰͋ȇ̷͓̘v̷̙̈́͠ͅe̸̡̙͍͠ṅ̴̰̚ ̴̠̦̾̈͛c̴̤̘͖͗̉̽a̵͔͑̚r̵̢͔̫̽́̒e̶̼̕ ̸̥̘͒̈́͐ͅá̶͎͝b̴̧͚̞̂ő̴̟̕͠ü̴̱̐͌t̶͔̻̙͒ ̵̹̳͉͂̉̉á̶̠̯̚͜ṅ̶̦̜̈́ẏ̶̛̪͙͘ ̴̢̥͖̈́c̷͙̓̈́́r̷̜̳͖͑ḕ̴͉̣̂͜d̸̲̬̒̊͝ę̸͕̋̾̏n̷̺̤̂t̴̤̐̽͋i̸͍͕̻͌̒ả̴̘̝͑ͅl̸̺͎̅̾̈š̶̻͚́̒”

“Danny chill, I can’t actually understand you and you’re going to wreck my phones speaker, I’m taking that mess as a yes and do you really think they’ll hire you if you can’t keep yourself together? I’m pretty sure they can’t let a horror monster onto a spaceship”.

Damn Tuck always knew how to cool him down quickly, he doesn’t compact himself back to ‘normal’ though just squishes down enough that he’s not knocking anything over or making the ceiling creak. Moving that tail that Jazz is still on so it and her are laying on his bed, “r̵i̷g̸h̶t̴,̷ ̴r̵i̸g̶h̴t̶,̷ ̸y̶e̷a̵h̶ ̶t̴h̷a̷t̵,̶ ̴t̷h̸a̴t̸ ̵w̴o̸u̷l̷d̶n̵’̸t̴ ̷g̵o̴ ̵o̴v̵e̶r̸ ̸w̴e̴l̷l̴”̵”.

“No kidding. Now did you put a hole through anything with your horns?”:

Danny glances around, it didn’t look like it at least. Plus Tuck didn’t call them goddamn bunny ears for a change, regardless of how similar they looked. “N̶o̶,̸ ̸d̴o̵n̷’̸t̵ ̷t̴h̷i̵n̴k̸ ̸s̶o̶”.

“You’re getting better! Congrats! Now are you going to try and take this job? Can you even type with your fingers right now?”.

Danny looking back to the computer and the email on screen, he has to really curl and bend his joints up and one of his shoulders is going past the entire computer but he can manage, “t̵h̴e̸r̸e̷'̵s̵ ̷n̵o̵ ̴w̵a̵y̴ ̸I̷ ̷c̴a̵n̴’̶t̷ ̵a̷t̷ ̷l̸e̸a̶s̵ ̵t̵r̷y̸,̴ ̷T̷u̷c̴k̴,̷ ̵a̵n̸d̴ ̴b̴a̴r̵e̷l̷y̶ ̶b̴u̵t̸ ̴y̷e̸s̷”.

“Alright then shoot your shot, man. Just try not to give away that you’re an eldritch horror”.

Danny can t help but grin, his teeth and lips swirling and curling on the sides of his face like galaxies, “t̷h̶a̸n̷k̴ ̷T̵u̸c̵k̸,̴ ̸s̸o̴r̶r̴y̵ ̴i̷f̶ ̷I̴ ̵f̴u̷c̶k̶e̴d̵ ̸u̶p̴ ̴y̸o̴u̸r̷ ̵p̸h̵o̵n̸e̵ ̴a̸g̵a̵i̷n̷”.

“Think nothing of it, Danny, not only do I expect it but I legit do not mind at all. I’ll take my best friend getting a hella awesome job offer that makes him go eldritch nightmare fuel on my ear drums over impromptu rescue mission any day”, Tuck laughing as he hangs up.

Man is Danny ever glad he called his goddamn best friend. The message he sends back to FREAKING NASA is excited but not overly crazy. He doesn’t go on a tangent, he only hits the wrong keys a few times and has to fix it, he doesn’t accidentally break anything, and he doesn’t mention anything that he knows NASA doesn’t know about. Yes he wants the job, yes that would be very awesome, yes he promises he has the capability, yes yes yes. Oh he’s vibrating again and a couple of his stars that comprise up part of his knee explode and reform.

Jazz groaning makes him still, moving a hand to have two finger tips over her eyes, “s̶o̷r̸r̴y̷,̴ ̴t̸o̵o̷ ̴e̶x̴c̷i̷t̸e̴d̷ ̴t̵o̸ ̵c̸o̶m̴p̴a̴c̷t̶ ̸m̸y̴s̸e̷l̵f̶ ̸r̶i̷g̴h̶t̸ ̶n̷o̶w̵.̷ ̶N̷A̸S̵A̵ ̶y̷e̵s̵ ̸N̴A̴S̶A̸ ̶o̶f̵f̵e̶r̶e̵d̷ ̷m̶e̴ ̵a̶ ̴j̵o̷b̸ a̴n̵d̸ I̵ ̷a̴m̵ ̵l̴o̵s̵i̵n̴g̷ ̵m̴y̵ ̷m̸i̶n̵d̷ ̶a̶n̷d̷ ̷c̴o̷r̸e̵ a̵ l̵i̷t̵t̶l̸e̶ ̵b̶i̸t̴ ̶h̷e̵r̴e̷”.

She beams, sitting up slowly and not moving Danny’s fingers off of her eyes, “that’s awesome Danny!”, she points in the direction his voice came from, “you better have said yes”.

“I̸t̸’̸s̶ ̷N̸A̵S̷A̴ ̵o̶f̶ ̸c̶o̵u̵r̷s̸e̵ ̴I̸ ̷d̸i̶d̶!̸”, pouting to himself, “I̴’̷m̶ ̸j̵u̴s̸t̵ ̷t̴r̸y̷i̴n̷g̷ t̵o̴ ̷f̶i̷g̸u̶r̸e̷ ̸o̷u̷t̷ ̴h̷o̶w̶ ̸t̷o̸ ̴e̷v̸e̸n̵ g̸o̸ t̴h̸e̴r̷e̸ ̵w̵i̷t̶h̷o̵u̷t̴ ̷b̶e̶i̶n̶g̵ ̵a̵l̴l̷ ̷n̶i̷g̵h̶t̴m̴a̸r̶e̷ f̴u̵e̴l̵”.

She hums and taps her chin, “yeah your potential employer or coworkers wouldn’t appreciate having to wear blind folds or ear protection in case you get too excited or hyper-fixate into your Obsession too much”, humming some more, “obviously depowering yourself would be stupid, so don’t even think about it. They found you through your vlog I'm to guess, which I know you’re a little too liberal on with information, so they probably know something about you is off, so you can get away with being a little strange; your more human level of strange at least”. He’s fully fucking aware of that, hence why this was kind of a problem, even in his human form he wasn’t going to be able to contain himself super well. Just getting the job offer made him unfurl entirely, actually getting the job? He’s going to accidentally rip the building apart or something. She nods to herself, “well you will not get the job like this, meaning you will not be able to do space stuff with NASA if you can’t keep a lid on this”.

He knows tha- oh OH! Okay yeah. Okay. Right sometimes he needed others to tell him that shit for his core to get the damn message. Jazz nearly stumbling forward off his bed when he folds in on himself, leaving his white-haired ‘normal’ ghost self floating vaguely in the middle of the room and blinking at her, “point received apparently”, and shakes his head. He wasn’t exactly a super huge fan of his eldritch form, it was freaky and so disconnected from how a human body worked and moved.

She cracks an eye open cautiously before opening them fully at Danny being normal, “okay good”, standing up and moving on slightly shaky legs to his closet, “now what do you have to wear that is professional and doesn’t make you seem obessesed with space”.

He floats after her, “it’s a space job shouldn’t I dress space-themed?”, his laptop email pinning results in him nearly teleporting to it.

“No. They can already tell you’re crazy about space from the vlog, you don’t want to seem like that’s all you care about and love by also dressing in space themed clothing”.

Danny vibrates, it’s from NASA, NASA!, oh he almost wants to spread out again just to have more of him to vibrate! They set a date! A time! Three days.

It’s in three days!

They were moving so fast! Oh they definitely knew something weird was up with him! Was that good? Bad? Probably good-ish. Otherwise they’d care about his schooling and expirence and wouldn’t possibly ignore his inhumanness. He knows he’s got stars zipping through his hair and too many eyes when he looks at Jazz, “three days. They want to talk to me in three days! Me!”, and screams a little.

She hurls a button up patterned like a arcade floor at his face, “if you scream at them they won’t hire you, and what you’re saying is they’re not giving you any time to actually calm down. They are absolutely trying to figure out how you know what you know by blindsiding you like this”.

Danny gestures ridiculously, “and I don’t even care because it’s NASA, NASA can mess with me all they want!”. He pops that stupid tail of his out and bits the fluffy space dust, spinning head over heels in the air excitedly. This was awesome! So cool! Even if they didn’t hire him or thought he was utterly insane he would still get to met them! This was the best day ever!

She laughs at his antics, “you are so lucky mom and dad aren’t here right now. Even if they would be very proud”, she grabs him, stilling his spinning but almost dragging her along with, “as I am, but you definitely got to keep yourself contained. Even if they do want to hire ‘nightmare fuel’ they won’t if they think meeting you was a hallucination”.

He pouts a little, dropping his tail from his mouth, “I know that”, pouting a little more, “it’s times like this I’d rather look more like Clocky than Nocturne”.

“I know, but it suits you, and at least if you do wind up going to space legally any stars might get brushed off as just being part of space”.

“Aka part of me”.

She rolls her eyes at him before going wide-eyed and jumped up, “oh! Now I need to figure out how to make space food for you!”.

“What?!? No! Bad! What if you poison one of the astronauts!”.

“Then you can nurse them back to health”.

“Do not mess with my protectiveness like that!”.

She only laughs at him, but at least he gets himself human again, tail sticking around so he can fiddle with the ‘fluff’ while attempting to keep editing and not vibrate himself out of his mortal flesh again. He fails at that repeatedly.

----

Pretty much the only thing that’s keeping him compact and human while he’s getting ready for the goddam interview with NASA is the fact he absolutely will not get the job without being at least human passing. Sam actually showed up and stole all his space themed clothing -even the underwear!- to make sure he couldn’t wear it. He does go with the dress shirt Jazz threw at him that day, wound up picking pants that he’s pretty sure are actually Sam’s that she just left here, and a stupid pair of dress shoes Vlad gave him once. Heck he even threw on a yellow bandanna around his neck to make double sure his scars were hidden! Who knows if his medical history was going to get questioned because he’d fail that shit instantaneously.

… Unfortunately none of that matter at all.

Why?

Because the second he got to the freaking NASA field centre he loses his human form from pure excitement… and the secretary walks out before he can change back! At least he didn’t unfurl or explode! She… isn’t even surprised and that’s enough to keep him from vibrating himself into the floor. She just leads him, currently a ghost -she knows this isn’t what any human being looks like right? She can see that he’s glowing right? Right!?!-, into the little interview room.

He.

Is in.

A NASA interview room. He wants to smell the walls and eat them. Shit his teeth are too big. He slaps his cheeks mere seconds before his apparent interviewer comes in.

At least as a ghost his cheeks won’t be tinted red. Fuck him entirely.

The man actually chuckles, setting papers down on the desk and holding his hand out for a hand shake. How the Zone is this going okay? He shakes the man’s hand, his name tag says ‘A. Bowman’. Holy shit he’s one of the actual higher up’s!

… Oh they one hundred percent knew something was funky with ‘Vega-bond’ if they sent a higher up to talk to him.

Bowman eyes his own hand as they both sit down, Danny aggressively forcing himself not to float, “ghost skin tingles, interesting”, looking at Danny properly, “well I suppose this answers one of many questions, or rather most of many”.

Danny being a ghost was a… good thing? Well alright then. Tilting his head, “it does?”. He didn’t even mean to show up looking like this!

Bowman knits his fingers together and leans forwards at him, actually grinning, “it does. Your channel, you’ve talked about subjects, in depth, that even we have no knowledge of. It was much too in-depth to not be reality, and while encouraging plenty of debates is a good outcome actually meeting the person behind it is far more valuable”.

Sweet Ancients the job offer was serious. It is so hard to bounce around or something, fuck his eyes are probably glowing a bit too much to be pleasant to look at, “I technically am not actually supposed to be talking about that stuff but I get carried away easily”, and rubs his neck awkwardly.

Bowman hums at him and Danny doesn’t know if that’s good or bad. “Well I can certainly say I’m glad space excites you”, he shuffles the papers a bit, “I take it your interest in space, regardless of your state of living, is why you agreed to this interview?”.

Danny nodding immediately, “yeah! I’ve actually wanted to be an astronaut since I could walk, you know, before the obvious happened”. Oh Zone is he going to have to explain dying to NASA? “I’m pretty sure no doctor in their right mind would clear me to go to space, legally at least”.

Bowman nods acceptingly, “and based on your wealth of knowledge it’s clear you would have been willing to work towards that childhood dream, yes?”.

Danny begins gesturing a little excitedly, “I used to build model rockets and memorised every space flight simulator I could get my hands on. I spent years saving up for the best telescope money could buy and never missed any celestial event. My family even paid for a zero gravity flight once as my birthday and truce- I mean christmas present”, laughing awkwardly to try and stop himself from rambling, “I probably had a concerning amount of drive for it”.

“That’s the only kind worth having”, the man nods strongly, “anything less and this isn’t a good fit. Would you say you still have that drive?”.

“If I didn’t I wouldn’t be me”, Danny says that in the firm voice he usually used when fighting someone genuinely dangerous or lecturing the Observants about trying to inhibit him.

Bowman grins at that, “good. Then-”, eyeing the papers, “-obviously your, younger appearance means you don’t have any work experience to speak of. So what experience do you have?”.

“Does being a town hero since my freshman year of high school count as previous working experience? I feel like it should”. Like really, the sheer amount of ‘experiences’ he’s had could fill novels and pad out entire tv shows. “I’ve fist fought a god? Multiple gods actually?”.

“Typically, we strictly prefer if our employees don’t get into fist fights”.

Ah yeah, that tracked and was fair. “Think of a weird situation and I’ve probably done it, I had to land one of your spacecrafts once actually since it became sentient and tried to eat me; everyone got mind wiped because it was a little too weird for most people to handle remembering. I’ve got lots of lab experience and my hazmat isn’t just for show, especially with handling hazardous materials; granted I am made of hazardous materials. I’ve time travelled, had to wrangle sentient turkey, been inside books, been shrunk”.

Bowman shaking his head and pulling a tablet out of the drawer, holding up a finger while he types on it.

Danny really hopes he’s not in trouble, he could probably go on forever about the things he’s done. Oh and now his tails out, damn it, at least it’s just wrapped around his one ankle and he’s squishing its space dust fluff with his foot for something to do other than mentally freak out.

Bowman puts the tablet down, oh hey he was looking Phantom up! for stories about the stuff he’s done? Him eyeing Danny, “you’ve ridden a dragon and yet want to be an astronaut?”.

Danny beams, “yes!”, rubbing his neck, “dragons aren’t that special to me, since my younger sister is one. I’m literally from a dimension that doesn’t have gravity and I’ve been to space a lot”.

He blinks, “you’ve already been to space?”.

Oh are they going to be bothered he violated space sanctions? Laughing awkwardly, “I’m always in a state of zero gravity and don’t need to breathe, so yeah as soon as I knew I could I did. I’ve been outside of the Milky Way multiple times”. How the actual Zone would this interview have even gone if he had managed to stay human the whole time???

Bowman looks baffled, “you’ve actually been outside of the Milky Way? No human could ever hope to do that”, he looks more confused, “if you can do such a thing then why would you want to work with us?”.

He’s honestly a little lost on why Bowman is even confused why Danny’d want to still work at NASA, it’s NASA! Traveling to space with other people who are crazy about space would be a-mazing! Regardless of how much they know or don’t he could excitedly babble with people who could excitedly babble back and actually understand each other! He could see all their faces when they see all his space and their fascination and love for all of it! And ain’t that great all on its own? Sure he could observe them as he is now from space but it would be so different to actually be in there with them and have them actually know he’s there! Should he tell Bowman that Danny’s the one that rescued Oppy? Technically he shouldn’t have and yes the Observants gave him shit but that ‘I’ll be seeing you’ song broke his still somewhat human heart and he had to save the little fella. Danny quirks an eyebrow, “because travelling to space with others who love and research space and seeing all the wonder and research over it sounds like a dream?”.

Bowman blinks and nods, “then it’s more the people, the science, than the mere act of going to space for you?”, tilting his head, “how far have you gone?”.

“I… can’t answer that second one since that would confirm whether or not the universe has an edge”. It didn’t but he can’t be confirming that. “And that might mess with established reality and multiple gods would get very mad at me”. Bowman looks impressed actually. “But yeah, it’s the people and just getting to work with and for NASA. I couldn’t think of a better thing to do with my afterlife”, rubbing his neck, “obviously I still have my protector job to do but it wouldn’t interfere”.

“You can still protect your town while also being on a spaceship?”.

“Time and space are more malleable than people think”, shrugging, “and I can duplicate my body so being two places at once isn’t really an issue”. Not to mention the fact that he literally was space so he could move through it however he pleased. Huh, it’s starting to feel more like he’s just talking to a person than NASA which is making this freak his shit out a little less.

Bowman nods more to himself, “and if you can leave the Milky Way and return in an infinitely small amount of time then you could certainly do the same within its system”, lifting his hands up and resting his chin on them, “well my mind’s certain made up, consider yourself hired. If I may, how do you move though space and time so fast? Are there improvements we could make to our suits or crafts, you think?”.

Danny’s pretty sure his smile breaks his face a little and there’s stars in his teeth, a nebula in his mouth when he speaks, “a̷w̷e̸s̵o̵m̸e̵!”, clearing his throat and ignoring Bowman’s wince, “o̶h̸ t̶h̵i̶s̵ ̵i̶s̵ ̵s̴o̴ ̷a̴m̶a̵z̶i̷n̴g̸!”, there’s a little pop and crackle, a high pitched whine sizzle; oh shit he might have broken a minor galaxy, whoops. Being a young god was a such a pain. He swats at some of the stars that had cropped up around his head and through his hair, “heh. Got a little excited there”.

“I’m pretty sure you just created tiny stars”, Bowman looks stuck between awe and bafflement, “the sheer amount of research that would be available with stars so small. How?”.

“Uh”. Well shit, there goes the ‘be normal Danny’ crap. But! But but but but but! NASA WANTS HIM! Like ACTUALLY wants HIM! HIM! Sure he’s going to get asked so many questions about him and how he is what he is but it’ll be by astronomists! And astrochemists! And astrophysicists! And just general stargazers! He wants to scream but if he does that he’s going to terrify this guy! Ugh! Shaking his head out and possibly sending away eyes that shouldn’t be there, tail squeezing around his ankle a little, “okay so it might not be super public right now but I have space-related powers? Space is my thing as a ghost”.

Bowman makes a couple of faces, “do these powers often act up when you’re excited? Are any coworkers going to need to be briefed on you?”, eyeing the tablet, “so it’s similar to the… Box Ghosts interest in boxes?”.

Should… should Danny just say fuck it and tell this man that he’s not simply space related but the literal personification of space??? It would probably explain some stuff and holy shit no way could Danny actually really keep himself all contained if he gets to GO TO SPACE WITH NASA! Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. His stupid horns are gonna pop out at this point, ugh. “Probably a good idea, heh. I’m young so I guess, you could say, I don’t keep the best lid on myself. I totally definitely want to see and get involved in everything immediately but if I do that I will definitely terrify you guys and possibly destroy something even if I will definitely be able to fix it too”, oh he’s vibrating now, great, “I can definitely be a lot in a lot of categories but you can’t really use me or mine for research, or well none of mine that’s actually like directly connected to me since studying all of mine is kinda what y’all do but the more direct me me is very ghostly and made of ecto and totally useless for human based research”. Danny manages to make himself shut up, it’s a feat really, his horns are absolutely poking out his hair a little.

A shooting stars goes across his chest and Bowman absolutely stares at it. The man eyeing Danny’s hair/horns and his face, while Danny’s trying to keep his grin from doing that damn spiral galaxy thing at the edges. “It… sounds like you view space as being yours and… your appearance can clearly change to something less human-looking”.

Oh no Danny’s made this awkward. He can’t rescind the job right? Right! “Lots of ghosts can be on the incomprehensible side, I’m generally good at not pulling that out on people. And um, it kinda is? I’m not exactly a normal ghost, more of a person who ascended into becoming a personification?”, gesturing wth a hand that’s fingers are a little too long and sharp and have a few too many joints, “I’m not gonna like spoil things or steal people’s glory or anything though I’m pretty good at making sure I don’t spill the beans on something I know NASA’s researching even if there’s nothing to be found that I don’t know but people researching and finding out and being baffled and loving space is my jam and I love it very much and would very much like to be along for the ride and aid?”.

Bowman squints at Danny, making him squeak a sound similar to Benstoma’s fire rain. Please let him still get hired. Please let him still get hired. Please let him still get hired. Please let him still get hired. PLEASE! “Are you claiming you’re a… personification of part or all of space? And that’s why you know things we could never hope to know and why you spent hours talking about such things online?”.

“Yes? Am I still hired?”.

… “Can you refrain from creating stars and what sounded like what we’ve hypothesised a minor cool dwarf star exploding would sound like?”.

“I won’t do it on the ship? Or near research stuff? Or I’ll keep it contained inside myself very solidly?”.

Bowman actually sighs tiredly at him, oh no now Danny’s getting the reaction he always did from people who had put up with his bullshit for a little too long. Shit. Blurting out, “I’m also the person who rescued Oppy?”; yanking out his phone and showing the selfie he took with the little rover, giving a very awkward smile. Oh the Observants were gonna be pissed about this entire conversation holy shit.

Bowman stares at him, almost looking like he’s tearing up a little, before shaking his head, “oh what the hell, who am I to tell literal space itself ‘no’”, and stands up to shake Danny’s hand again.

Danny absolutely wants to unfurl and maybe if Jazz and Tuck and Sam hadn’t been very aggressive about pointing how bad of an idea that would be then he would have. As it is he just vibrates, tail unwinding and swishing around, “y̸o̵u̸ ̸a̵r̸e̸ ̴t̸h̴e̴ ̶b̶e̸s̴t̶!”, standing up and giving the man his hand shake, quickly realising he’s at least a foot taller that he should be; crap his legs got all long and weirdly animisticly jointed.

Bowman’s blinking down at the tail, “is that made out of IDP’s and micro-meteors?”; meanwhile Danny’s shaking out his legs to get them back to a more human length.

Danny blinking, oops. Moving the tail end fluff up into his own hands and cupping it, still having to lean down a little, “yup! Most of my, uh, I guess ‘fur’? is cosmic dust. Wanna touch it? It won’t hurt you”, shrugging, “my stars do burn though so don’t touch those”.

Bowman looks absolutely fascinated and Danny is absolutely living for it! He’s vibrating again and just seeing the man poking it and thinking a mile a minute is making Danny oh so giddy. Some parts of him are absolutely getting all goopy constellations but it’s not too extreme… yet. Is this why ClockWork never really put up much of a fight when Danny wanted to do dumb shit with the time stream? Because it was just so great and satisfying to watch someone be focused in on your thing as an Ancient? And he thought talking to people in the comments section about everything space was a rush, this was so much better! He’s gonna have to make sure he doesn’t aggressively over indulge.

Bowman hums, “actually seeing cosmic dust moving as it does this close is certainly interesting”, looking at Danny’s face, “you won’t contaminate our samples though”.

“Oh absolutely not! Messing up space research would go against my nature so that’s not gonna happen”. Danny would never! Plus if he even could he would have already considering he’s already been inside basically every NASA building by now; including some that don’t exist anymore or never did and never will.

Bowman grinning, “good. Even if you can’t also be an impromptu sample source”.

Danny holding up a finger, “I also can’t or shouldn’t really, answer your questions for you. What’s on my channel isn’t stuff humans would have ever figured out so I decided it was no harm”, muttering to himself, tail flicking near the ground, “the universe overseers still weren’t happy but I hate them so whatever”.

Bowman shakes his head and walks to the door, “come along, I’ll show you around, try to contain all your space self please?”.

“If I hadn’t already been inside this building multiple times that would be impossible for me”.

“You broke in? Repeatedly?”.

“I can be invisible and intangible. And space is technically everywhere all the time. But actually getting shown around is, a-mazing. Tell me everything”.

Bowman smiles at him like he’s an excitable child and actually indulges Danny, explaining even the really simply tiny things and Danny is absolutely adoring and absorbing every second of it; he’s vibrating and stars dance across his skin, sometimes he has to smack bits of stars or galaxy back into himself but he mostly manages.

…

He also has to throw out the lunch Jazz packed him -having rightfully assumed that he absolutely would not be back home in time for said lunch- as it had growled at him and Danny refused to eat anything that could make sounds. Bowman eyeing the bag Danny crushed closed hastily, “you eat? And your food shrieks?”.

Danny sighing, damn it Jazz, “a certain someone keeps trying to get me to eat ectoplasm since I technically spend too much time in the living realm to get enough from the environment here, unfortunately she is not a good cook and I think eating ectoplasm is extremely disgusting and morally questionable”.

“That does sound unfortunately close to cannibalism, but I’m sure we could work something out with this caretaker of yours to get you approved for special lunches”.

Danny groans exaggeratedly at the man, who smirks a little at him.

And Bowman absolutely did get in touch with one Jasmine Fenton who was all too eager to try and set up program approved experimental ectoplasm space rations for NASA’s newest and strangest member. NASA’s scientists were dramatically better at figuring out how to get ectoplasm to work in physical food, so she was very happy.

When Danny got home the very first thing he did was call Tuck with, “so you know that whole don’t tell them you’re a space eldritch god? Yeah I fucked that up”.

“Ha! I’m almost impressed! And they still hired you?”.

“Yup! I might have appealed to his love for space with my stupid space dust tail, and I mentioned saving Oppy”.

“Oh how manipulative”.

“Oh shut up! Anyway he showed me around-”, Danny spends over an hour just gushing about everything Bowman had showed off to him, Tuck humours him but clearly isn’t really following the conversation. Man it was going to be awesome to talk space with people who could and would!

End.

Prompts: "Shouldn't being the town hero since my freshman year of high school count as previous working experience?" "What did you want to be, when you grew up?" Every strange thing Danny has ever done, accidentally or not, comes back not to haunt him, but to help him. Danny starts a vlog to talk about space, but as the Ancient of Space he knows more about it than all top scientists together. NASA discovers his vlog. Danny accidentally shows up to a NASA job interview as Phantom. He’s hired on the spot. Ghosts need ectoplasm to stay healthy and by golly is Jazz going to figure out a way to introduce it to Danny's diet. Sometimes you just gotta be an eldritch horror.

#danny phantom #phandom #phic phight #phicphight24 #danny fenton #tucker foley #have a fic suck my dick #phantomphangphucker #my writing #jazz #nasa #eldritch #space ancient danny #gothmoth

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phantomphangphucker · 15 days

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Phic Phight - “Harder, Daddy”. “Son?!?” “🤨” Cont.

@bubblegumbeech @library-of-cronos @ghostboidanny @ecto-mochi @miss-nov @thegayonthemoon

Chap.5 Show Me To My Wonderland

It’s been a few days now and Danhy’s pretty sure Maddie and Jack and the school have more or less accepted shit, at least he wasn’t getting bombarded with questions anymore and Maddie and Jack had more or less settled into just acting like nothings changed. He doesn’t get called ‘son’ anymore and they still make little faces over the ‘aunty’ ‘uncle’ thing but otherwise no change. Meaning they’re not really okay with it but going along with it anyways. Because it’s easier? Because they don’t want to make things worse? Because they don’t care? Hard to say and he legit barely cares. They’re still being ‘family’ and Jazz seems pleased so it’s good.

Even if they definitely didn’t think Danhy would actually get himself a ride to his actual parents. The fucking chariot was goddamn overkill, the royalty thing was still wild. Maddie more than Jack were definitely upset since she’d been all ‘are you really going?’, and both of them had been stiff and weird when he got back; they also thought the ‘king’ and ‘god’ thing was bullshit Danhy was being fed to ‘impress’ him and make him like his parents more. He was pretty settled on spending most weekends at the Keep, hadn’t dragged Sam and Tuck along yet but eh. Sue him if he, and his parents, wanted some ‘just them’ bonding time, Jazz was entirely in favour of that, same with Sam and Tuck; Jack and Maddie didn’t get a say especially since he knew what their opinion was already.

… He won’t be too surprised if they kick him out at eighteen, that or they’ll get way better and get over their bigotry. One was waaaaay more likely.

Especially because the lack of a seal thing was definitely doing shit, the strength he was absolutely right on, but now he’s growling and shit at anything that annoyed him. Oh, he also literally felt more ego-y, proud; it was weird when he was used to, like, basically almost the opposite. Which probably actually kept said ego in check? His dad had an ego bigger than he physically was after all. Pops was more self assured and confident rather than ego and pride; the ghost literally knew everything so figures.

And Danhy absolutely can sense when ghosts show up in Amity even when he’s in the Infinite Realm! It feels different, as if the pull and sensation is in the distance rather than right there with him; still useful and chilled out his protectiveness though.

The Phantom PR on the other hand? Oof, exactly as he expected. There was a lot of ‘is Phantom turning evil!’ and ‘is ghost puberty a thing?’ And ‘It’s showing its true colours!’. Then someone actually had the smart idea to ask Danhy, aka the guy who is the kid of the fucking ghost king, you know, the guy Phantom flew off into the sky to fight? Danhy spun some bullshit about how Pariah found out that Phantom, by protecting the town, had effectively been protecting his son as well, and as a result knighted the ghost for his services. So as such Phantom’s physical change was one part power boost -meaning he could protect the town better. Which most folks were in favour of these days. Jack and Maddie were not impressed- and one part the effect of getting an official title from basically the most powerful ghost ever; that led into Danhy vaguely explaining that ‘yes ghosts have titles and roles’ and ‘yes ghosts have a hierarchy system’, which led to ‘yes ghosts have governments’ and ‘yes ghosts have laws’. Jack and Maddie thought he was being foolish for believing the ‘lies’ his actual parents were telling him, even though Danhy was able to actually see that shit in action in person repeatedly. Either way Amity actually seemed to view the ghosts a little more positively now, and one of the popular girls attempted to teach Phantom how to brush fire hair; Ember got involved, he now knew how to do a pretty solid pony tail. It looked weirdly good on him and he was heavily encouraged to grow his hair out some; which he was actually debating on doing.

Oh! And a dude who apparently served in the military had some words to say about Phantom actually having armour now and how stupid it was that he hadn’t already been wearing that kind of thing. That had been soooo awkward, him having to basically shout about ghost clothing and how only weird ghosts usually added to it. Then Red showed up shouting about him being a weird ghost himself, which was absolutely right, and started shooting at him.

She seemed super annoyed Phantom was more durable now. He laughed at her. She shot at him more aggressively. He teased her all the more. She eventually wore herself out and just outright asked him to keep an eye on ‘Danny’ for his safety because she trusted Phantom more than ‘that psycho and who ever’s crazy enough to get with said psycho’. Was it weird he was a little touched by that? Probably.

Regardless, apparently a week-ish of time was considered ‘enough’ to let him adjust and get to know them before dropping the ‘THE REIGN OF DARK HAS AN HEIR” shit on the Infinite Realm. Meaning now Danhy has to get publicly introduced and made official and shit. When he asked if his fraid, Jazz included, could come he’d been given a very firm ‘this is your place as a ghost, this is meant only for ghosts’ and a ‘they’ll be part of this realm in time, like many others, they can be part of this with you then’. Danhy was still a little miffed they couldn’t be around what was basically a literal crowning and Lion King style child show off.

Danhy groaning as the dressers basically drag him around, they couldn’t speak and Danhy didn’t ask why, but they could be very aggressive about shoving him in random clothing that was so much more excessive than his standard shit. Meaning now he’s got on a silly, in his opinion, kilt and set of freaking Loki-style horns over his standard ghost clothing. The random neck gear jewelry, skull cape clasps, and bracelets were ridiculous too, ditto with the Norse time and family runes? face paint; dagaz, jera, thurisaz, and kenaz; if he’s remembering names right. Gebo and Wunjo on the back of his hands, marking him as a ‘gift that brings them joy’; that was impossible not blush over. Talk about embarrassing, ugh. Also! His ears are pierced now! Or hole punched really! Stupidly more painful than he expected, and he was going to fiddle with it so much. One of the plugs had a valknut on it and the others got a gear cog; nice and very cool looking. Sam’s parents were gonna flip and Sam’s gonna love every second of it.

Danhy huffing a little as the dressers push him out of the dressing room and right into ol’ Frighty. The ghost seems pleased, “you look more theirs”.

“We’ll excuse me if I’m not going to start wearing face paint and jewelry all the time, ear things are awesome though”. The kilt thing he might adopt, during summer and all that; one part heritage, one part comfort (Danhy did, in fact, start wearing a kilt during summer. He actually got compliments on it too! Even Maddie and Jack thought it suited him). Either way he follows after the knight ghost, eventually hearing all the chatter.

“-has returned to us! Regardless of certain one’s feelings of displeasure over his existence!”.

Danhy mentally laughs at that.

“Our high kings mad wrath quelled as his young kin’s grown fiercely and become battle hardened far more than you fools! And these lands will be his as well in time! Let any dead before him tremble in his own strain of darkness and might! The dying to pay their tolls in blood and servitude, should it be desired!”.

Danhy does not want people’s blood, ew. Though fighting did kinda spill blood and stuff.

“You all exist within his high royal highnesses darkness and know that he is what all good and evil fear! Be blessed that you’re allowed to bask in further darkness! A Phantom of darkness!”.

Oh cool, the FrightKnight is now walk/floating Danhy out to the crowd of ghosts, some who are probably gods and shit. Danhy’s totally not nervous! Not at all! Not one little bit!

… Sweet Zone, was that ever a lie.

“Presenting! Danhy Phantom! Ling of the High Ghost Sovereign, God of Death, Pariah Dark! And of the Ancient Guardian God of Time, ClockWork!”.

The FrightKnight standing off to the side and behind as Danhy comes to stand in between his dad and pops; his dad standing further forward than his pops who’s floating. That made sense since this was a royal -holy shit he’s royalty, that still hasn’t quite set in- event.

“A being granted life to know death all the better! A being well thrived in light and darkness! To know both better!”.

All the servants or squires or whatever begin chanting:

“Darkness of youth!”

“Darkness of old!”

“Darkness that bind!”

“Darkness that hold!”

“A Flame in dark!”

“A Flame in light!”

“A Flame by thee!”

“A Flame raised right!”

“Darkness of truths!”

“Darkness of lies!”

“Darkness that sleeps!”

“Darkness that flies!”

“A Flame in war!”

“A Flame in might!”

“A Flame by thee!”

“A Flame known by sight!”.

Pariah stabs his sword on the ground, “SILENCE!”; which obviously shuts everyone up. Gesturing a hand aggressively at Danhy, “YOU ARE BUT PUPPETS FOR WE! FOR OUR SOCIETY AT LARGE! OF MIGHT! YOU ARE BUT DISPENSABLE TOOLS! AND SO LONG AS WE REMAIN NOT AN ENEMY OF YOURS WE WILL BE ENEMIES OF ALL OTHERS! THOSE WHO OPPOSE OUR REIGN OR SEEK OUR END! WHETHER WE STALK TOWARDS THEM! A LOOMING DEATH! NOW OR FROM THE SHADOWS IN TIME’S FUTURE!”.

“HAIL!”.

Pariah turns to Danhy, who’s trying to not look wide-eyed. His poor fucking ghost ears. “FOR YOUR ARRIVAL I SAT AND WAIT, I NEED YOU NOT! NOR DO I NEED YOUR ACTIONS TO REACH MY GOALS! YOU! YOUNG ONE! ARE NO PLAYER IN MY GAME! YOU MAY CHOOSE TO MAKE ALL YOUR ENEMY OR NONE! IT MOVES ME NOT! BUT A BLESSING YOU REMAIN UPON ALL! AND FOR THAT BLESSING UPON MY DARKNESS I DESIRE YOU TO WATCH NOT YOUR OWN FINAL GRAVE BE DUG BUT DIG OTHERS THEIR OWN! SO PRESENT YOURSELF FOR ALL! YOUNG ONE! AND KNOW THAT I AND ALL OTHERS ARE PLEASED AND HORRIFIED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE!”. A tiny crown forms in the ghosts massive hands, Danhy eyeing it as his dad puts it on his head; he can feel its connection to him immediately. New power flowing from it and into him, it was strange but the feeling settles nicely as if it was always meant to be there.

Then his dad steps back, nodding at watching Danhy’s ecto-field flare and settle properly, now letting Danhy effectively take the stage and say his piece.

Danhy’s not about to scream or bellow or whatever at everyone, the ecto in the air carrying his voice easily and there’s a pressure to his voice that has some kind of command to it, “I don’t present myself for your approval. And I’ll only laugh if you try and kill me; and then I’ll annoy you so much that you regret everything. I’ll use my claws on those who hurt me or mine. Otherwise-”, waving the crowd off to seem more chill about this shit, “-I’ll leave you to your bullshit and vices, which in the end may end or beat you as well. But then I had no part in that. But if you cross me I will make sure to be the last face you see, I can promise that. I’ll fight for fun or not. I’ll match that energy. So play nice or square up”.

He actually gets some laughs, cool. Go him. And a bunch of yeti’s yell, “PRAISED BE THE GREAT ONE! OH SAVIOUR!”. Much to Danhy’s great confusion.

The announcer dude or whatever shouting, “you have seen and been beholden! Now BEGONE!”. Does everyone leave instantly? Yup! Well… almost everyone. Danhy’d bet money that the ones that remain are god ghosts.

ClockWork floating closer to Danhy, practically winding around him and grinning, “well, go on, say hello to your fellow gods, even though you are more Demi-god than god in truth”.

Why is this Danhy’s bullshit to deal with? Also, how is he actually a god at all? And of what? Zone fuck this shit. It’s kinda funny though ‘cause almost none of the ones he can see -there’s a fucking lot- have legs. Danhy going over with ClockWork in tow, Pariah sticking a little bit further back even though he was technically a god too; a god by conquested position or whatever.

Danhy gives a little wave, “hiyya, if you all wanna fight me now I’m gonna be so annoyed”. That gets him some snickers, laughs, eye rolls, huffs, and pouts.

“Hmmmm. We’ll see”.

“In time perhaps”.

“Now is hardly what I’d call appropriate”.

“That depends on your opinion on dogs”.

“I’d be annoyed fighting you too, pass”.

“Ha!”.

“You fool around with those living weeds, I’ll put you in your place eventually”.

“I doubt you care for the blade”.

“I’d rather just play!”.

“If only you were a girl…”.

“Meow”.

Honestly half of the responses, from the ones that even bothered, get drowned out by each other. The strange floating eyeball with skinny ass green arms, sneering, “you should not even exist, abomination”; is hard to miss though.

His dad snarling, “Observant”, and looming down over Danhy, glaring at the eyeball ghost all the while. Ah okay, so this asshole is the, or one of, the ghosts trying to fully off his tiny baby ass. Danhy immediately sticks out his tongue and flips off the ghost with both hands getting in on the action, “well I do, so piss on each others heads or whatever other weird thing y’all are into”. The ghost is very clearly scandalised, actually pulling their head back in offence. Ha! Suck on that. Jerk. Maybe try not being a baby murdering dumbass next time?

ClockWork frowns at the Observant, “you beings should beg for times forgiveness, rather than harassing that which you’ve done wrong by”.

“You’ve made a terrible thing, ClockWork, and with him of all ghosts”, the Observant feels like it’s glaring but who knows with something that doesn’t have freaking eyelids, “as he’s clearly proven himself more a monster that needs to be put down, more than anything else”.

Pariah snarls, “retaliation for harming my young is hardly unbecoming behaviour. You’re the foolish things here, my actions were earned and deserved, and I will tear you lot apart”.

Danhy huffing and kinda sticking his face out at the ghost, banter he could do, banter was his bread and motherfucking butter, “I guess you could say I’m a warning not to step on my parents toes, a terrible threat that’s for sure. I am a threat to you and if you choose to not fear me then you’ll fucking regret. Zone, you already should”, gesturing at the ghost lazily, “I mean, you totally forgot about me, right? but guess who came the fuck back? Bitch. You laid the bricks for me and this new age, dontcha know that when you gamble the house always wins”, and open mouth grins at the ghost. Is Danhy stealing lines from Vlad? Absolutely. Is Danhy trying to sound like he knows what he’s talking about and is more dangerous than he thinks he is? Definitely. Does Danhy want these eyeball assholes to either leave him alone or deeply regret just how much they’ve fucked with him even without him knowing they had? YES. Danhy could do without floating eyeballs making a thing out of trying to assassinate him or something all the time; he got enough of that with Skulker’s poaching/skinning attempts.

And hey! The eyeball ghost does actually float back away from him slightly, leery. ‘Eyeing’ or ‘staring’ at him then ‘glaring’ at Pariah, “your chaos and harm to the realm has weakened our sight”, ‘glaring’ at ClockWork, “we can not see him, correct this immediately”.

But a ghost that looks like a starry blanket with a horned mask laughs softly and meanly, “his so called harm has given us a ghost who sleeps, I see no issue with his actions”.

Pariah glaring down at the Observant, “I’ve done no wrong, you lost any right to watch him long ago. Remember this and begone, I can litter the realm with your bodies if it’s what I want”.

Danhy nodding and smirking at the eyeball thing, “even if all I’ve got is the Dark and Time to fill my heart, you’ll wish I never knew y’all tried to off me. ‘Cause know I sure as shit know it’s better to reign in the dark the serve you lot”.

But the eyeball looks to ClockWork, sounding chastising, “ClockWork, fix. This”. Oh that sounds like an order? Is there like some kind of hierarchy thing with time seers or whatever? But there’s no way in hell that the literal GOD OF TIME isn’t at the top of that right? RIGHT?

Danhy is still convincing himself he’s right as ClockWork leans over Danhy’s shoulder to put their face in the Observants, “you. Do not own me. You have misjudged your own place in the world and this realm, your self inflated sense of self a corruption all its own. There is nothing to correct as it is your actions that would have needed correction had they not already been”.

And then the Observant actually grabs ClockWork’s cloak and pulls them at him. Danhy snarling and ripping the things hand off his pops, “do that again and I’ll fucking break you, use your eyeball shaped dumbass heads as a goddamn soup cup; it’ll be on sight”.

ClockWork narrows their eyes, “do not mistake my calm demeanour for gentleness, time maybe be a slow and forever winding thing but it destroys everything in time”. And then ClockWork smashes the ghost in the chest with their staff, sending them indenting into a gnarled thick tree, “and you’re all out of time”, teleporting over to them and smashing their head into the ground. But with a twist of the staff the Observants back to being imbedded in the tree; ClockWork smashes their head down again. And again. And again. And again.

All the other god ghosts are smiling, smirking, laughing, or jeering; but they don’t get involved. Danny’s guessing there’s some kind of ‘non interference’ rule or some shit.

“Abandon you false rationality”, ClockWork smacks the eyeball in the cheek to the side this time. The Observant floats themselves up right ‘glaring’, “how dare you raise your powers against us”.

But ClockWork simply teleports right in front of the ghost in an instant, their face right in the Observants, “I was always meant to bathe in your hatred, as you were always meant to fall by the way side”. One of their time mirror screen things appearing behind the eyeball ghost, ClockWork seemingly pushing the ghost back through it easily.

? It’s possible to go through those things? That practically screams ‘time travel shenanigans! Do it Danhy!’. Danhy’s going to do something stupid with those things one day and everyone’s going to regret him doing it, mostly him of course ‘cause his luck’s just like that.

More of the time screen things pop up and the Observant just seemingly gets flung from one to another by… other ClockWork’s??? Okay Danhy’s not going to try and make sense of that one, since he’s pretty damn positive these aren’t duplicates. Danhy tilting his head and humming innocently, “watcha doin’?”.

ClockWork humming back, “giving them a taste of times far worse possibilities”.

“Neat. Can you hurl me through time screen thingies? It looks fun, like a really weird amusement park ride”.

The look his pops gives him is very judgemental. But a fishy looking maybe shark with too many legs laughs, poking Danhy with something similar to the trident from the Little Mermaid, “I like this one”. Danhy grins widely back, all teeth.

Another ClockWork drops the Observant at this ClockWork’s ‘feet’, or tail tip really, ClockWork grabbing their cape and hauling them up in the air. The Observant shakes as ClockWork speaks, “run. Away. I’m a fight you can not win. Learn humility, I’m the one who counts time down and on; you are but observers and nothing more”.

Pariah stomping over to loom down over ClockWork and more so the beaten Observant, “and I’m no toy for you. I. Am. Death’s. Bringer. I. Am Life’s. Pariah”.

Pariah simply watching as ClockWork tosses the Observant away, then taping their staff, “time up”, and the ghost seems to rip themselves apart from the inside and outside at the same time; being torn apart into nothing.

Okay. Check on the murdery thing. Danhy did not expect or want to see one of his parents fucking obliterate someone. Damn. Muttering, “I’m so not adding to this murder train”. One of the other god ghosts scoffing, “as if the existence of other beings matter”. Okay is pro-murder just a gods thing in general? Again, is he gonna have to watch himself for murderiness?

Another sneering, “especially the existences of lesser mortal things”.

Danhy rolls his eyes at the multi-winged harpy-looking ghost, “I’m at least somewhat mortal so piss off”; while ClockWork just sort of appears next to him, ruffling his flames.

“I hardly expect you to”.

It’s a little weird when it seems like a lot of the ghosts stiffen when the weird three-eyed cat hops in front of Danhy, even ClockWork feels to be watching them cautiously as the cat slinks around Danhy, purring. “A mIsssssPLAceDthINg, nO MATter wheRE hE beeeeeEeE. PecULiARimpeeEeeeeeerfECt tHIng. yeeeeeEEeeeEeeeEssS”, and hums, eyes squinted before slinking off to nowhere. Like, legit, the cat just pops away in an instant.

The other ghost gods kinda look at him leerily before up and leaving en masse. Leaving Danhy blinking and looking to his pops, “what the fuck?”. Even his dad looks a little bothered and leery.

ClockWork frowns, ominous, “most avoid any who get Remi’s attention, she’s one of the chaos gods. Ancient god of misplacement; while I can bend and pick preferred reality, she’s one who alters it entirely. Her interest in you does make sense so I wouldn’t worry much”.

Pariah crossing his arms a scowling, “not much, but still watch for her. I do not want my son being misplaced again”. Oh yeah dad was always going to be mad about that. ClockWork rolling their wrist, “of course, she may be harder to watch but I see all”.

Danhy grumbling, “well if she ‘misplaces’ all my good spoons I’mma be mad”; that gets him some fond looks at least. He will absolutely be mad though, nothings ever stopped him from throwing hands. and godhood, or whatever, wasn’t going to start stopping him and his hands.

More than a few verifiable gods looked into and chuckled to themselves about the young god and prince. Curious about him and his little domain. This… could be very interesting and many of them were very bored. Course they wouldn’t be too mean, crossing the time god or death lord was hardly a wise choice for any; crossing their ling was likely just as foolish.

Some wishing to make his little domain more proper in their minds. Others wishing to see what his dreams could make. Others wanting to see if he really was a ‘fight first’ type. Others instead noticing those around him, from a wonderfully orange-haired child, to a reincarnated pharaoh unaware of himself, to a gardens caretaker that could be so much more, to another half thing almost as misplaced and far more foolish, to a raged fuel child one day to be so close to being more machine than human.

Oh they weren't going to be bored for the foreseeable future for a very long time.

Whelp, at least all of that was over, now Danhy can just chill in the Keep, lounging over a stupidly massive couch that was mildly swallowing him up. His dad was still going through tablets, and his pops was observing the Observants reactions to Danhy’s existence… and to ClockWork obliterating one of them. Hint: the Observants weren’t happy. Hint: the Observants were fully planing to try and assassinate him again. Hint: Danhy fucking hated them. And so did Pariah. And so did ClockWork.

Well whatever, Danhy’s bored and he’s calling his friends, because he is so telling them this shit.

“Have your parents pissed you off yet?”.

Danhy rolls his eyes at Sam’s tone, “not everyone has parent issues, Sam. And the Fenton’s and me being weird doesn’t count ‘cause they’re not my parents”. Danhy can see dad’s smirk from here.

“So what’s up, Danny man?”.

Danhy shrugs to himself, “eh not much, I just got crowned and shit. Met some gods, meaning I, and Amity, might get harassed by some gods. Pops somewhat randomly murdered one of the gods that went attempted murder happy on baby me after they were being a major dick to us. Got called ‘saviour’ by some very loud yetis, not sure why”.

Pops interrupting him without so much as looking at him, “you’ll find out in a year or so”.

Danhy pouting, “that’s not as comforting as you think, pops”, shaking his head and ignoring his pops smirk, “anyway, I pretty much offered to fight anyone who annoys me, which I guess might not have been the best choice of words”.

Tuck laughs, “man! You like fighting so I’m not even surprised. Definitely dumb though”.

“Ugh, now we’re going to have more newer ghosts, damn it Danny”.

Danhy shrugs to himself, “I make no apologies. Fuck sorry, ‘cause I ain’t”, rubbing his neck, “I just don’t want the regulars, the ones who are halfway decent, to think I’m going to smite them or something”.

Sam snorting, “yeah wouldn’t want your go to misplaced aggression to get cold feet”.

“Sam, we’re dead, our feet are always cold”. Danny snickers to himself over her groan, “anything on your end?”.

Danhy can hear the shrug in Tuck’s voice, “outside of the fact that we’re still miffed we haven’t met your parents yet, come on man, Lancer wants to know if there’s ghost history books he can use for a ‘ghost history’ lesson while Mr. Shanell is stuck in the hospital”.

Danhy lifts his head up and stares at his dad, speaking into the phone, “sorry guys, you know things have been crazy but…”. When Pariah picks up on the staring and raises an eyebrow at his son, Danhy speaks back up, “wanna met my fraid? Like, properly?”, tilting his head back to look at his pops, “you too, Clockpops”.

Pariah eyes his tablet, “this is hardly amusing”, and puts it down; stomping over to Danhy and picking him up by the cape.

Danhy speaking into the phone as he’s lifted through the air, “whelp guess I’m fixing that right now, in coming guys”. They laugh meanly at him as they all hang up.

ClockWork sending away their screens and joining Danhy up on the giants shoulder, “it is rather about time”; Danhy snorts at that. Very funny. Changing back human since anyone seeing Phantom with Danhy ‘Dark’s’ parents was so not a great idea, at least so soon anyway.

…

Tuck shrieks, Sam putting a hand to her chest, when a massive portal pops open right next to them. Pariah, aka the guy who terrified the entire town not too long ago, stomps out; their goofy dumbass friend and another ghost they’ve never seen before on the giant ghosts shoulder.

Danhy basically sliding down his dad’s arm, jumping off at his hand, Pariah looked amused. “Hey guys! Presenting-”, gesturing at his parents, “-parental figures that don’t suck!”. ClockWork floats down and smacks him lightly over the head for that; Danhy pouting at him.

Sam instantly points up at Pariah, stomping forward some herself, “you better not try abducting the town again. Or hurt Danny. Or convince him to commit murder”.

While Tuck laughs to himself, Pariah raises an eyebrow at the goth, “I hardly have any reason to”, scowling, “if my son desires or not to kill then that is his prerogative. I have no interest in restricting him either way”.

Danhy doing jazz hands, “hooray for freedom of choice”, holding up a finger, “I’m not pro-murder though”. Pariah simply shrugs at that.

Tuck elbowing Sam, “ah come on, Sam, live a little. Enslave people! Establish your might!”. Danhy flicks Tuck in the head, “bad, Tuck, bad”.

ClockWork floats around the two teens, “know that we’ve met plenty, you were simply unawares”, holding up a fingers, “just because I left my charge in your and the Fenton’s care, does not mean I left him unattended”.

Tuck blinks, “huh. A ghost has been watching me sleep. Kin-”; ClockWork doesn’t even let Tuck finish before smacking him with the staff too. Tuck covering his head, “hey! Ow! Meanie!”. Sam smacks the part of his head that wasn’t covered for good measure. Tuck pouting at her before sticking a hand out at ClockWork and Pariah, “ow. Anyways, I’m Tucker Foley, that’s TF for Too Fine”.

Sam scowling at the boy, “you disgust me”. Her looking to the ghosts, one hand on her hip and sighing, “and I’m Sam Manson, even if someone already knows everything”. Tuck blinking and facepalming, “right. That”. ClockWork’s faint smirk is mean.

Pariah eyeing Danhy, “a bit foolish, eh?”.

Danhy waving his dad off, “hey, they’re dumbasses, totally different”.

Sam poking Danhy, “as if you’re not also a dumbass, Mr. Breaks You Own Hand With A Locker Door To Get Out Of Gym Class”.

Tuck pointing, “or sets a bathroom on fire for a cover story”.

“Or stores your thermos in your chest just because you can”

“Or fist fought a lamp because you said it looked at you funny”

“Or intentionally buys disgusting milkshakes just to see people’s reactions”.

“Or back flips to transform publicly”.

“Or has a crush on someone definitely trying to kill you”.

Danhy puts up his hands in surrender, “okay okay, I get, geez. No need to run a ‘dumb shit Danhy’s done’ lecture by my folks”. They laugh at him meanly. He loves his friends but they absolutely do know every embarrassing or bad thing he’s ever done; they could go on like this for a while.

Pariah grins wolfishly, putting his hand on Danny’s entire head, “good, a prince is meant for chaos”. Eyeing the two teens, “I doubt I require an introduction, regardless, I am Pariah Dark, overlord of the Infinite Realm, death god, and Danhy’s secondary progenitor”.

ClockWork gesturing to themselves leisurely, “and I his primary. ClockWork, ancient god of time”.

Danhy eyeballing his dad’s hand that’s still on his head, “I have questions about that”. Sure he hadn’t ever directly asked how the zone ghosts had kids, especially with his pops being genderless, but he’d decidedly not asked.

Tuck putting up his hands, “I’m cool with not having those questions answered. Ew”.

Pariah crossing his arms, “I could hardly carry him while dealing with wars and skirmishes. Further, of the two of us, ClockWork is far more durable, immortal as they are”, and gives ClockWork a bit of a fond look.

Danhy makes a face, “well alrighty then”, he is so not pressing for more.

Pariah scowls, “considering their actions, I do regret that ever so slightly”. ClockWork still doesn’t look the least bit apologetic about everything.

Sam points at the large ghost, Danhy gets the feeling that she impressing him at least a little, “well I, we, totally do not regret it”. Tuck punching Danhy in the arm, “yeah, Danny-dude’s great and we like having our friend”.

“Yeah I couldn’t stand your blood mouth crap without him”.

“Oh like your grass mouth is any better”.

“At least I don’t eat dead things!”.

“Well my foods actually worth eating!”.

Then Sam has her boot in hand at record sped, Danhy snagging it while Tuck makes slightly fearful ‘do it Bitch’ motions. Danhy laughing at their antics, ah the comforts of the meat vs veggies argument, “and ecto’s the best of both worlds. Dead but also sometimes never alive or sentient”. They both make faces at him.

His dad has opinions about that while Danhy plays keep away with Sam’s boot, “you eat ghosts? I did not take you for minor cannibalism”.

And Danhy has never thought of it that way, wow. “I mean, I guess? Just like general ecto, you know, not whole ass ghosts flying around”.

Tuck chuckles when Sam tackles Danhy, absolutely getting back her boot. “Oh I’m sure the blob ghosts wouldn’t object”.

“Do not encourage him!”.

Pariah laughs loudly, “I’m sure threats of cannibalism would discourage any uprisings! A unique way to keep the masses in line! Ha! Your own brand of darkness indeed”. ClockWork smirking themselves, “I’m sure the Observants would be horrified”.

Danhy’s opinion on cannibalism do a one eighty right then and there, “in that case, I’m down. Fuck those guys”.

Sam blinks before nodding, “okay even I can’t object to threatening to eat the jerks that tried to murder baby you”.

Tuck humming, “thats more revenge than ‘Danhy’s just a cannibal’ though”, holding up a finger, “and I’m pretty sure ecto-wienies don’t count as just general ecto, man”.

ClockWork’s tone is mean, “they are not, they’re about as sentient as a typical whisp or blob or bleb”, poking Danhy in the check, “cannibalism indeed”.

Danhy play snapping his teeth at the finger, then eyeing them, “which you technically could have stopped but didn’t”; apparently his parents were just cool with Danhy damn near being a legit ghost cannibal.

“I get bored quite easily, why would I stop something with so many interesting kinds of possibilities and outcomes?”, ClockWork waving a hand lazily, “so long as you don’t cannibalise yourself, as you did in one times future”.

Sam and Tuck give Danhy disgusted and horrified looks, “DANNY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!”. At the same time as Danhy mutters, “why would I do that?!?”, him then looking to his friends, “why am I getting in trouble for something that hasn’t actually happen!”.

“Because your pops is a time god!”.

“Because how could you even think about doing that in any timeline! What the Hell!”.

Pariah smacking him chastisingly on the back, which does make him jerk and wobble some, the guys hand was as big as Danhy’s entire body was! And there was the ghost strength at play. “Do not consume yourself”.

“I’m not going to! Oh my zone!”.

When did this meet n’ greet turn into Danhy scolding time?!? Yes he’s done a lot of weird and fucked up and dumb and reckless shit but seriously!

He gets a round of ‘good’s’ and a smirking clockpops in response. Jerks.

And then, bless Danhy’s luck, Vlad shows up. Takes in the three teens and two very powerful ghosts, one being the guy Vlad tried stealing from, and turns to walk away immediately with a, “oh butter biscuits”.

Danhy grinning ferally and basically giving chase, “where you going, Vladdie!? Dontcha wanna meet my real parents!?”.

“I was looking for the one who should be my knight! Not you!”.

“Frighty’s my dog! Get a cat!”.

The two teens and two ghosts watching Danhy ecto-blast Vlad’s shoelaces to nothingness, which of course results in Vlad blasting him into a wall. That of course turns into a transformed Phantom and Plasmius duking it out in the sky, Plasmius looking very miffed about Phantom being able to easily hold his own now.

Pariah letting his son have fun for a bit before snarling, “YOU!”, and launching himself after Plasmius, slamming the startled ghost into a wall with an axe.

ClockWork shaking their head before appearing next to Danhy, poking the boy’s crown, “perhaps you should not have that out while in your mortal lair? No?”.

Danhy blushing, “oh uh, right”, and absorbing the crown into his body. Oops.

“YOU ARE A FOOL WHO SHALL SUFFER! INSOLENT CREATURE!”.

“Aurgh!”.

Sam and Tucker shrug at each other before giving chase as well, weapons drawn and happily shooting at the vampire-themed half ghost.

…

Is anyone surprised when Pariah ends up pinning the ghost? No, of course not. Putting his far larger face looming over the half ghost, “know that it is only by my child’s request that I do not end your puny existence. You are lucky I have no interest in doing away with my son’s plaything”.

Vlad sputtering, “I. Am not. A plaything”.

Danhy pushing his head between them, inches from Vlad’s face and grinning mockingly, “you sure about that one, Vladdie. I’d call this play fighting, and you’re definitely not my friend or family”, then frowning and snarling, letting his green red eyes flash dangerously and with more power than they ever used to hold, “never cross my family again, Vlad”; exerting some of that ecto-pressure on the other halfa that Danhy could do now thanks to being princey.

Vlad chuckles awkwardly and nervously, “message received, Daniel”. Pariah squeezes him tighter with a growl, Vlad squeaking out, “Danhy. I mean, Danhy”.

All of them watching the injured half ghost fly away with his tail between his legs. Danhy is very smug, today has been a very good day. Sam and Tuck give him high fives.

Tuck laughing, “wicked crown, by the way dude”.

“I know! Right! And it somehow doesn’t look weird with the fire hair!”.

“I wish it did, you deserve it”.

“Sam! That’s just mean!”.

“Wait! Do you have ear plugs!?! Wicked!”

All three teens laugh, partly at Danny’s expense but mostly just because they can laugh together.

ClockWork settles on Pariah’s shoulder, humming, “it’s nice, is it not? A good outcome, I would say”.

Pariah almost sighing, “I will still mourn that I could not raise him, though his fraid is acceptable”.

“He remains young, there is still raise yet left to do; and the raising that’s been done is of lesser quality”.

Pariah merely huffs in response.

End.

#danny phantom #phandom #phicphight24 #phic phight 24 #danny fenton #tucker foley #sam manson #phan phic #my writing #phantomphangphucker #have a fic suck my dick

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phantomphangphucker · 15 days

Text

Phic Phight - “Harder, Daddy”. “Son?!?” “🤨”

@bubblegumbeech @library-of-cronos @ghostboidanny @ecto-mochi @miss-nov @thegayonthemoon

Danny always knew that it wouldn’t always be as easy and stuff the Box Ghost into the thermos, but maybe facing his most dangerous threat would turn out to be the best kind of ‘threat’. After all, Danny never really looked like Jack and Maddie, and they were never great parents. It’s said that a parent will always recognise their child, no matter one; and they didn’t recognise him.

:Chap. 1:

The Past’s Now With Us

Danny was expecting a lot of things when he went to pull the sword out of the ground, everything that happened after was not any of them. He didn’t expect Vlad to be shocked and horrified. He didn’t expect to suddenly have all of Amity in the ghost zone. He didn’t expect to be beset by skeletons. He didn’t expect the Frightknight’s sword to fly out of his hands; yet again, he should definitely expect that to happen by now. He didn’t expect the giant of a ghost to shout about surrender and then try and goddamn ghost tazer him and Vlad. He also didn’t expect for the giant ghost to apparently just drop him and Vlad then up and leave. The fuck kinda ghost just smacks you around to then leave you on the ground in a heap?

Even Vlad was weirded out and confused; enough so that he completely abandoned his apparent most recent psycho plan. Also, what was up with Vlad and stealing peoples shit? And why did he ever think stealing from the king of all ghosts and the literal personification of fear and Halloween was a GOOD IDEA??? He also lost the ring so, suck on that dumbass; he deserved to have the shittiest of days.

Either way Danny’s still got a fight to face, Vlad’s fucked off, Valerie’s hurt (because of him), and Sam and Tuck are worried about him doing stupid reckless shit. Not too weird but still, Pariah was still confusing him though.

“YOUNG ONE! HEAR MY DECREE!”.

Ah. Danny feels like he might be getting singled out here.

Tuck blinking, “dude, you didn’t even get to talk to him and he’s still targeting you?”.

Sam frowning, “I still don’t think you should do this”.

“FACE ME IF YOU DESIRE DEATH!”.

Danny glances at the red clouds then down to Sam, “I don’t think I have much of a choice, Sam. Plus, I’ll be fine. I can totally do this”.

Sam grumbles, “idiot. But fine, just… don’t be stupid”. Tuck adding, “stay safe, dude”.

“I think I’ve already fucked both those up”.

They glare but still stand by the shield to lower it.

“GO INVISOBILL!”.

Oh he hates that so much. “IT’S Phantom! DANNY! PHANTOM!”. By the zone, let them remember that!

The literal army is a bit much, there’s skeleton dragons! The suit is awesome though, he’s blasting and tossing around skeletons like this is a goofy game.

Then his friends drop all his enemies off, that have apparently decided to fight as his own personal army apparently.

“THE BUBBLEWRAP! OF DEATH!”.

Danny’s surprised the bubble wrap attack actually works. “Huh. That actually worked, go Boxy”. Johnny chuckling, “hey, I’m surprised too”.

Skulker nearly snarling but sounding too desperate to really have any threat to him, “now go! Defeat him! So I’ll be free to hunt you for another day!”. really? REALLY? That’s what the guy goes with?

Danny turning to Ember, “he’s your boyfriend”, she smirks at him, “I’m just saying, you do know what standards are, right?”. She smacks him over the battle suits head with her guitar for that; fair enough.

Either way he’s now got to face the king… the king of all ghosts… probably half-ghosts included. He knows he said he’ll be fine, but really? Probably not a chance. Nope. Hello full death for him. That’s not gonna stop him from trying though.

His entrance is dramatic.

Pariah greets him dramatically in kind, he has a fucking mace of all things, “little ragged ‘round the edges, eh my child”.

Does this guy just think that all ghosts belong to him or something? Talk about egotistical, at least Vlad pretended he didn’t think Danny was ‘already his son’. still Danny jumps forward and more or less asks to cut the witty banter bullshit and just fight. Partly because he’s already kinda tired and partly because he expects to get his ass kicked; he’d rather not beat around the bush on that one. He’d prefer for his second death to be far less painful than the first. He vaguely wonders if Skulker legit believes Danny stands a hairs breath of a chance.

“I think not, I reject your terms”.

What? Why? Is this some ‘I’m going to demand you kneel before me’ crap? Or like does this guy want an ‘official’ duel? “And why not?”, if Danny can talk his way out of this then hot damn, he might actually be fine, his mouth is his best weapon after all.

“You shall see soon”. And then the guy launches at him with the mace. Talk about mixed messages. Danny obviously deflects the mace, like duh, it’s… a massive drain on his energy though. To say he does not feel good is an understatement.

But instead of looking insulted, or angry, or just annoyed; the ghost looks… concerned? Danny’s also fairly sure the guy let Danny’s echo-beam hit him and push him back.

Danny gets thrown into a wall.

Danny gets blasted into the ground.

Danny blocks a thrown sword. Then ten thrown swords.

Danny tries to avoid fire.

Danny is tired.

Pariah is not.

Pariah gets thrown into a chair.

Pariah gets smashed by an orb.

Pariah doesn’t seem to be taking actual damage.

Pariah is not taking actual damage.

Danny is screwed.

“You can’t possibly win”.

Danny is pretty aware of that, but Danny is also a tricky bastard that doesn’t fight fair nearly as much as Vlad seems to think he does. Pariah plus coffin is all Danny actually needs.

Danny’s about to have a duplicate blast Pariah away when the ghost picks his real self up by one arm, when, “this suit is a burden on you, my child. It is pointless to test you with this, we are wasting our time”.

Great, now the guy’s playing games with him again. “You’re kidding yourself if you think I’m falling for that one”. Danny’s clone blasts him, but Pariah creates a shield and it bounces off easily.

“Enough of this”, with a finger snap all of Danny’s duplicates are just gone; crushed by pure ectoplasmic power. Okay yeah, beating up your own king with items of ‘unlimited power’ wasn’t really a winning fight. He had been planning to just… shoot off the guys crown, which would be kinda stupid if it actually worked, wouldn’t it? Then, like, kick him into the crazy guy coffin jail, which was also probably a pretty fucking dumb plan. Eh he’s worked with stupider. It was less stupid plan than ‘guess I’ll die’, which was the current trend. So Danny says one of the stupidest things he’s ever said on the possible brink of double death, of death two point oh, of the full big flop, “squeeze harder, daddy-o”, fuck if he’s gonna die or be ended, he was gonna do it on a really fucking dumb joke. Tuck would be proud, maybe his full ghost ass will get to tell him.

“My aim is not to break your arm, son”.

…

Is Danny being taken seriously? What does he do with this? How old is this guy??? Should… should he play along?

Pariah drops him unceremoniously, huffing, “leave behind that foolish contraption and follow”, and just stalks off. Guess Danny’s playing along? Or playing nice? He doesn’t know. Danny abandons the suit before the king decides to try beating him around again and follows behind very awkwardly, the two passing The FrightKnight, who gives Danny a confused look, Danny shrugs exaggeratedly back. He didn’t know either okay! This king guy was crazy crazy! Pariah’s voice rumbling in his knights general direction, “any who enter, end them”.

The FrightKnight bows immediately, “as you desire, my liege”, and goes to stand guard by the doors that Danny brutalised.

Another thing Danny didn’t expect? For him to be walking after a psycho king into a throne room with a strange age shifting ghost that just screamed powerful. Pariah’s voice booming out, “care to explain? To me? To him?”.

The cloaked ghost doesn’t so much as turn around, “It was for the best”.

Pariah roaring, “you let me believe him ended!”.

Danny has so many questions and not only are they not getting answered, they’re getting added to instead.

At least the cloaked ghost turns around this time, “and they would have ended him, there was no other future wherein he survived”.

“And you couldn’t tell me!”.

“No”.

Danny standing here awkwardly watching too clearly super old and super powerful ghosts bickering, wondering if he should try and take a cheap shot. See this? That train of thought? Is why he gets himself into so many messes. It’s also why so many jerks liked to pick fights with him.

Okay think, Danny, this place is huge right? There’s gotta be something he can use to, like, disable Pariah or at least annoy him enough to give up on his mass domination plan. These two are distracted by their bickering match.

“-I was going to take everything away from them!”.

“They wouldn’t have believed him gone otherwise”.

“I still shall take everything from them”.

“Do you believe I do not agree with that?”.

Danny has tried to ‘slink off’ as subtly as he can, considering he was still short and skinny -which was often annoying as fuck- that wasn’t too hard to do. This king’s got scrolls, a lot of random skulls, fur pelts, really old looking jewellery, a weird stack of chairs, baby clothing? Weird-

“If you did this all so I would seek to strip them of some power-”

“I can assure you it was not, Sæti”.

Danny side-eyeing the two, that was said with some, uh, very specific kinda fondness. Was this, like, a couples bickering match??? Why is Danny being dragged into this? Yes Johnny and Kitty considered him, unfortunately, to be their go to for ‘couples counselling’, but come on! And the size difference between these two ghosts must make things interesting. Tuck would have some choice words, Danny’s choosing not to think about that; considering it would probably be the same shit Tuck said about Danny’s own folks and their height difference. Oh hey! A really big hammer! Danny absolutely can’t pick it up. Damn. Because if the ‘knocking off his crown’ plan was going to work, doing it with a comically large hammer would have been totally awesome.

“We never even got to name him! You could not have had the sense to wait that long?!”.

“Kjært barn har mange navn, Pariah“. (A beloved child has many names, Pariah)

Great, now there’s an entirely new language getting involved, Danny will question why the hell he can understand it later. At this point he’s not even sure what they’re arguing about, their kid he’s guessing, but why is he involved in this shit? He ain’t no goddamn ghosts kid! Is ghosts -half ghosts included- trying to adopt him just going to be a theme in his half life? Why! Hey look, a podium with an ominous sword on it. Score! There’s little images of some other guy with the same green crown getting stabbed with the sword by the Pariah guy all over it. A king killer sword? That is exactly what he needs! Look mom! He’s actually got a plan now!

“What of him now? Has he been alone? Could you not have released me yourself if you knew? ClockWork!”.

Oh cool, Danny got a name for the guy with a goddamn clock in his chest. He totally should have figured it would be clock-related.

“He had the upbringing that was needed, that did not include us”. The Pariah ghost actually throws something at the ClockWork guy. Clocky avoiding it easily. “I do not regret what I did”.

Pariah’s, “you never do”, is weirdly gentle; way too much like when Danny’s dad was trying to down play being a giant of a man.

“And think, what does it mean if we’re seeing him again now?”.

“…”.

Danny manages to get himself up on the podium, why did it have to be so long?, crouching for balance since he was frankly still exhausted.

“I would recommend against touching that, Skatten” (treasure).

Danny stills and goes wide-eyed, side-eyeing the Clock ghost who was now staring at him looking amused. Danny is tempted to hiss like a cat and try to knock down the sword. Pariah following Clock’s line of sight, eyeing Danny, and sighing tiredly; did that mean Danny was succeeding in at least maybe annoying the guy out of world domination? Danny blinks, “and why not?”

Clock guy just looks more amused, “because you do not want to end Pariah”.

Danny looks at the sword then back to the ghosts, “I don’t?”. Danny did. That was kinda the point. Or at least make the guy go back to his forever sleep.

Clock shakes their head, Pariah glares at clock, “You have been watching him this whole time”.

“…”. The clock ghost doesn’t respond.

“I haven’t received such a privilege”, Pariah then looks to Danny, “no, you do not. There are many things we have to talk about”.

Danny is still confused, but he’s going the hedge his bets or whatever, “we do?”. Danny is still on the podium, he currently has no intention of moving; since he might be able to move fast enough to grab the sword and at least throw it at the king… so long as it’s not stuck in the podium anyways. “And are you gonna keep trying to beset my town with a whole ass army?”.

That question apparently pleases the king, “so you have already claimed some lands as your dominion”. Clock grinning and nodding, “his approval rating amping the citizens has gone up”.

Danny makes a face at the clock ghost, “how do you know that?”, thank fuck his approval has gone up though. You’d think after playing hero for this long everyone would already be on his side by now. But noooooo, he was a ghost and there was still all this bigotry bullshit.

Both ghosts seem amused now, Clock ghost tilting their staff a little dramatically, “I’m the ancient of time, I have seen everything you have ever done, could ever do, are currently doing, and will ever possibly do”.

Ah. Wow. Ha. Danny is so fucked. Well… they’re were playing nice, now at least anyways. Or well to be fair, the clock one never actually did anything, that he knows of. “Congrats on having the most excessive power set I’ve run into yet?”. What else is he supposed to say to that?

Clock eyes Pariah, “reminds you of someone, no?”. And Pariah actually laughs -how is this going well for Danny- back at that, “I believe I was far more aggressive when we first met”.

Danny shuffles, moving to just be sitting lazily on the podium, he’s still not getting down, “well Clocky here hasn’t tried to fist fight me yet, or lay siege to my town, or taser me for that matter”.

Clock smirks, “you and I both know that if you thought you could win, you’d try”.

“That’s not a lie”. Danny was a combative mother fucker alright? It didn’t help that basically every ghost he’s ever met has wanted to throw hands with him….

Pariah huffs, it’s almost a sigh, “I suppose it’s better you have more caution than I”.

Clocky’s, “it most certainly is, though it is by only a fraction”, is scolding.

Danny blinks, okay, um, he’s not sure what to do here so, “are you two like, a thing? Are y’all having just the most dramatic couple problems ever, or something? Is abducting towns a romantic gesture?”.

“Yes”.

“No”.

Danny makes a face, “ah so I’m not the only confused one here. Gotcha”. Is Danny fishing for answers? Obviously. Because he’d really like to have some.

ClockWork makes a ‘well go ahead’ gesture with their hand and floats back some. Pariah looking from Clocky to up at Danny on the podium, “did you or did you not recognize me as your father earlier? For you are undoubtedly my son”.

“I was making an, admittedly, really stupid joke! ‘Daddy’ has, other, meanings”. Oh zone, this guy thinks he’s actually, like legit, his actual father. What the hell? Danny’s used to Boxy’s delusions of power, but this was a whole different kind of delusion; and one Danny was far less interested in encouraging. “You, ah, got proof for this shit though? Cause last I checked I already have parents”.

Pariah looks back at Clocky, “explain”.

“I wasn’t about to allow him to be left unattended or grow up isolated”.

Danny sticks up a hand, “uh yeah, explain that a little more, what the fuck”. Is this clock guy claiming that he, what?, dropped Danny off with the Fenton’s and they either didn’t notice they magic-ed a son out of nowhere or just never told Danny????

…

Okay considering they hadn’t noticed he died that made more sense than it should. Or that Vlad hated dads -Jack’s?- guts. Or that ghosts definitely had actual emotions. Or a lot of things.

Danny pointing at Pariah, “and haven’t you been in a coffin for, like, whole ass centuries?”. Danny’s questions are only growing.

Clocky hums, “time is but a suggestion, one I have no difficulty twisting to my own desires should they be preferable”. Great. Is this guy claiming Danny’s a damn time travel baby??? What has his life come to. Danny did not sign up to be part of this soap opera!

Pariah floats up to be more on even eye level with Danny, “there is no doubt you are my son. None”.

“And I’m supposed to take your word on that?”. Like sure, Danny didn’t exactly look like his maybe parents, Jazz definitely looked like mom, but how the hell would two ghosts have a human child???? His ghost form doesn’t even look like theirs either! Okay fine Clocky has bits of white hair hidden in their cloak but that’s all Danny’s picking up on.

Pariah shakes his head, “that would be quite foolish of you. Can you not tell?”.

Pariah glances down at ClockWork, who moves to float up to them as well, “he is young still, Sæti. His core’s not matured fully”.

For whatever reason both the ghosts look happy over that. Danny just has yet another question, “and what’s a core? You guys suck at answering questions”.

“As is often the case with my ClockWork”. The clock ghost just nods acceptingly. Pariah continuing, “a core is our source of might, the whole of our existence. And as they have explained in their way to me”, eyeing Danny, “The Observants, pathetic creatures, attacked ClockWork and you when you were a mere lille venn (little darling)”.

ClockWork interjecting, “they meant to harm us both, to destroy a god-prince and god in their folly for power. The young are so much weaker after all”.

Danny is putting the ‘prince’ thing and the ‘god’ thing on a shelf for now. The nice neat little shelf where ‘dealing with being dead’ also sat, right next to ‘mom and dad kinda wanna dissect me’.

Pariah scowls but looks at ClockWork, “Where are the Observants? Surely they know of him by now?”.

“You truly believe that any child of mine would by watchable by their eyes? Restricted and weakened as they now are?”.

Danny sighs to himself, “and the Observants are?”. Have these guys answered even one of his questions? Like actually answered? Besides the core thing, which sounded kinda like a heart and brain.

ClockWork actually answers him this time, it’s a miracle, “all seers, watches of the universe. Fools who believe all they see is all there is to be seen”.

“Gods. Gotcha”. Fuck Danny so much. When did he go from just dealing with fame hungry pop idols to literal fucking gods?

“Almost”, Clocky holds up a toddler-looking finger, “but not quiet. And they’ve fallen in might since. I merely allow them to continue to believe they have any say over me”.

Pariah moves closer and looms over Danny some, Danny is taking a huge fucking gamble by staying put but Danny has definitely learned the art of ‘never let them see you sweat’ even if he actually still kinda sucked at it. But… they were being nice enough he supposed. So when Pariah holds out his massive hand -not unlike Jack’s/dad’s- and says, “a child still or not, you should still be able to tell with physical contact”, with ClockWork following suit. Danny doesn’t refuse.

It’s like being struck by lightning that was oddly fluffy, like fuzzy yarn winding around his insides and chest, like being swaddled by hands the size of his entire body, like being wrapped in feathers while being fed liquid gold. It’s a lot all at once and there’s a part of his brain that just dings with right and belong and home and mine. He wants to be touched by them, held, to slip into sweet dreams surrounded by them. It felt brutally safe in a way that Jack and Maddie never did. Felt a part of him. Danny believes them in an instant and almost wants to cry. A comfort and protection he’d never known rushing all over and around him.

He slips, falls really, off the podium immediately, floating and pulled closer by their hands that felt oh so right. He absolutely passes out from all the stress and exhaustion and being overwhelmed, passes out right in both of their arms. Pariah’s size allowing him to cradle both him and ClockWork.

“He’s been through a lot, hasn’t he. amoung the living no less”.

“Indeed. But he is better and stronger for it. And neither of us will be changing that”.

“I want my son home, ClockWork”, pariah sighs, “thought I suppose one shouldn’t abandon their subjects”.

“The Fenton’s have long assured he’ll come around often, worry not Sæti“.

Chap. 2: The Dopamine That Was Robbed Of Me

Danny wakes up in, of all places, the ghost kings lap; the Clock ghost looking to be polishing their staff while siting on Pariah’s shoulder, ghostly tail wrapped lazily around one of Danny’s hands. Should Danny be embarrassed or not? He felt like… well like a little kid.

The Clock ghost -what the Hell is Danny going to call either one of them?- grins faintly down at him and winks for some reason. Pariah noticing and looking away from the stone tablet he was apparently reading off of to look down at Danny as well, “I see you’re awake”.

Danny just nods slowly, he still felt like there was soft yarn winding through him and pillow stuffing in his mouth or like he’d had a ton of super sweet sugar. Cranning his head to look around, they're raised up on some platform, there’s carpeting leading from where they are to a door that isn’t beaten up, the FrightKnight is still there standing guard and is practically bleeding awe; they are totally sitting, or Pariah is sitting, on a throne, aren’t they? Glancing around a little more, the place looks way more spruced up than before, there’s tapestries on the walls, stained glass, a potted plant or two; weird. Looking back up at Pariah, who’s still watching him, “what happened?”.

Pariah hums, “as it stands I have no further reason to reign my fury and iron fist down on this realm’s, or another’s, denizens, as such there’s much I am in need of catching up on”.

Did Danny just stop a war? Apparently. By finding out HE WAS FUCKING ADOPTED AND THE CHILD OF GHOSTS! Yet he just… doesn’t really feel super freaked out about it. He’s almost comfy with it. Is this the way people normally feel with their parents? Comforted? Secure? Open? Supported? It’s… a bit strange for him, good but strange. His parents, or not parents he guesses, were the last people he ever felt that way around. Even before the whole ‘we want to dissect half of you’ bullshittery. so Danny blinks instead of freaks out, “what… kinda stuff?”. Clocky- ClockPops? looks pleased with that response.

Pariah glances back to the stone, that thing must weigh a ton, humming, “seems two harpy clans are at war over wine again”. Danny glances away, oops. “A prison warden for the barren lands wants to make ‘force feeding someone confetti on their wedding day’ illegal”. Danny makes a face, oops again. “There’s a rampaging dragon on the lose”. Okay that one might not be Danny’s fault, maybe. “Multiple complaints from Blackbeard about a child fake pirate stealing his ship”. That ship was Blackbeard’s ship? Crap Danny totally confiscated that. “And the denizens of the Far Frozen wish to have an audience ‘as the prophecy foretold’”. Okay Danny knows nothing about that last one.

Danny chuckles awkwardly, “uh. If it’s anything getting the harpies to compete to get me wine was supposed to be a joke, Walker hates my guts, I’ve only beaten up one dragon but he does also hate my guts, and I didn’t know that ship actually belonged to anyone. The yeti thing ain’t my fault though”.

ClockWork smirks meanly at him, leaning down and patting Danny’s head, “actually it is”.

Fuck. Danny’s making a terrible impression here.

Pariah raises an eyebrow, “you stole Blackbeard ship while dressed up as a pirate?”.

Danny sputters, oh that would be so embarrassing, “what no! This toddler did that! I just stole it from the toddler”.

ClockWork holds up a finger, “meaning instead of stealing from a strong adult, you stole from a weak child, how very noble of you”.

“Hey! He abducted all the adults in town, he had it coming!”. Danny swats at ClockWork’s hand without any harm meant behind it, doing that makes Danny notice that something’s… changed. His gloves are black! And clawed??? Holding his hand in front of his face, “huh?”. Pariah leaning back a bit father to allow for Danny to jerk up into a sitting position to look down/over himself.

His suits changed! Like completely! His gloves, now black, are actually gloves now, like, not just part of a jumpsuit anymore, the ends of them going up to his elbows and coming off in a point. His sleeves are white now but his shoulders and chest are still black but it looks more like armour, the white of the jumpsuit showing on the sides of his torso and looking to going underneath the black almost v-shaped armour; he’s gonna bet the black ‘armour’ goes down his back too. His belt and black pants look the same at least, his boots are still white too but like his gloves they aren’t actually attached to the suit anymore and come off and over his knees in points.

He has a cape!

A cape!

Oh Tuck is gonna mock him relentlessly. So is Vlad.

It’s simple at least, black on the inside and white on the outside, completely smooth at the bottom. It seems like it’s attached or part of? his white neck part.

His DP symbol’s still there. Nice. He actually likes that thing, regardless of it being a pain to get. His chest was definitely a bit wider, all of him seemed just a bit more… muscley. Like, no one’s going to be doing confused double takes, but it definitely looks like he’s actually been fighting ghosts in hand to hand combat for months.

Cool.

He’d been kinda wondering about the fact that he’d gained literally zero muscle. But still, what? Looking up at the two ghosts and quirking an eyebrow, there’s no way they don’t know what’s happened with him.

ClockWork seats themselves down on the thrones arm rest, Pariah putting down the stone tablet. ClockWork nodding, “you were meant to be hidden, your appearance couldn’t be exactly as it was supposed to be”, grinning, “at least not until you returned to us, stronger”. Danny points at his face, he couldn’t exactly look at that without pulling some body horror shit. Pariah grinning, “you already had my face, more slender I suppose, but it is more defined now. I suspect you’ll start seeing facial hair in a year or two-”.

Oh Danny is totally here for that! He kinda thought he have to give up on that since no one on… on well Jack’s or maddie’s side had good facial hair. But DarkDaddy had a solid goatee and Clockpops had a full beard sometimes!

“-you have ClockWork’s skin, paler, but the same blue-”.

Something else for Vlad to bug him about. Cool. At least ClockWork looks smug.

“-your fangs are less pronounced than my own but you are young still-”.

Man all those vampire jokes were really coming back to bite Danny in the ass; licking his tongue over his teeth, yup fangs.

“-your eyes remain the same green, though you have red pupils now. The pointed ears are all your own though, as is the fire hair”.

Danny moving a hand up to grab his ear tips, well at least they weren’t any longer, and yeah his hair definitely felt like it was moving on its own way more than normal. Okay, so his face changed, like, a lot; people were so going to comment on that. Ugh. The pr was gonna suck.

ClockWork leaning over, “make no mistake, this is how you were always meant to look, you will get used to it”.

Danny chuckles at that, “I mean I’m pretty good at being adaptable”, at least this voice sounds the same, which would obviously change as he got older… hopefully, it would suck to sound like a fourteen-year-old forever. Looking from ClockWork to Pariah and back, “but… since my uh, you guys, are ghosts I’m gonna guess I’m not actually human at all? Am I?”. Like, that would make zero fucking sense and Danny has zero clue how he feels about that. Another thing for the mental shelf!

Pariah damn near cackles, “I am the god of death, child, I am fully capable of defiling life all I please! If I desire a mortal flesh baring child, I’ll have it! My desires are just reality to be”. ClockWork nodding in kind, “reality is just a mass of threads to be toyed with or blown away. Impossibility doesn’t mean anything to me”.

“That really doesn’t answer my question”. Was it always going to be this way with them? It was kinda funny though, Danny loved confusing people himself.

ClockWork rests their chin in a palm, tilting sideways, tail swishing though still holding onto Danny, “does it truly matter?”, waving their other hand, “You’re closer to a full ghost who possesses the ability to change into a truly living human body. Fully alive and fully dead, far more impossible than merely half and half”, humming, “though your accident made the two sides of the coin intermingle more than was meant at the time”.

So he's even more not dead and even more not alive, cool. That’s going on the shelf, but he’ll absolutely laugh about that later. Zone Danny can’t help but laugh now, “fucking nice”. Earning himself two fond grins. He kinda wants to go find a mirror but he’s also frankly comfy and not interested in leaving either of his parents right now… there was probably some kinda reason for that knowing his luck.

Pariah raising an eyebrow at ClockWork, “accident?”. Making the smaller ghost sigh, “the Fenton’s like to play god with the connections between life and death”.

Wait this totally means the portal didn’t kill him! He was already fucking dead! He’s definitely going to be explaining that to Sam, since she blamed herself a lot about it. Groaning a little, “man, Sam’s gonna be so relieved when she finds out she didn’t accidentally half kill me. wow”. No wonder all the other ghosts always found it weird that he didn’t actually care about them going through the thing that ‘killed him’, because if it had killed him he should have been bothered.

Pariah curls in a little to have his face closer to Danny’s, “you intend to return to that mortal town?”.

Danny blinks at his… should he use dad or father? Pops is definitely going towards ClockWork, ‘cause Clockpops flowed too well. Father seemed… too formal for Danny to put up with, like that’s what Vlad would want Danny to call him. Ew. Dad it is for sure. “Well I mean yeah? My friends, my fraid, are there? And it’s my town, I’m not gonna stop protecting it just cause my parents are totally different people than I thought they were and from a different realm”. He absolutely will not just abandon Amity, humans, his friends and family, Val. Zone, even Dash and his jerk squad. Mr. Lancer and that one barista that didn’t give him shit over his unhealthy orders. Though… he’s not sure how he’s gonna be with Jack and Maddie. Like… they did raise him, sorta, sure Jazz did most of it but still.

Pariah shrugs, “that town can very well stay in this realm-”.

Danny points at him, “absolutely not. That screams stupid. Wait. How long has it been? How long was I out!”. Oh zone, everyone must be freaking out! Even the ghosts that came to aid him are probably freaking!

ClockWork ruffles his hair, “relax, I convinced your dad to send the town back to its own realm long before you awoke, and, though I know they’ll still worry, sent word you were fine to your fraid”.

“Oh thank fuck “, Danny flops backwards, head dangling down over DarkDaddy’s knees, that nickname was too funny not to use. Danny blinking at the FrightKnight, the guy is beaming but clearly trying to keep a straight face. Danny puffs out his cheeks, “oh you’re just loving this aren’t you, you old ass knight”. The FrightKnight tries to control his face more.

Danny can hear ClockWork leaning towards Pariah and explaining a little, “they’ve fought before. He’s taken his sword multiple times”.

Pariah laughing, addressing his head dread knight, “did he really?!?”.

The FrightKnight looks like he’s debating if it’s okay for him to approach, before just deciding to, “he’s young but capable”. Danny has a distinct feeling that Pariah became a bit of an ass, clearly, during his whole ‘tyrading because my son’s gone’ thing.

Pariah laughs again, grabbing Danny’s cape to yank him up into the air before setting him down to sit on Pariah’s knee, Danny eyeing the large ghost. “As a prince of the dead should be!”. ClockWork holding up a finger, “and a young god”; Pariah nodding.

The FrightKnight nods himself, “he could use further sword training of course, I’d be more than happy to-”.

Pariah cuts him off harshly, “do not overstep your place”. Making the knight wilt and bow, “my apologies, your highness”. But Danny pouts, tilting his head back to glare at Pariah, “hey be nice, if you do that to every ghost that pesters me or tries to teach me things you’re going to be doing that for years. Just look at Vlad? That guy has issues and eighty-two of them are me snubbing all his apprenticeship attempts”.

Pariah growls, “that one, the one who stole from me”, scowling, “at least I found you out of his foolishness”, eyeing the FrightKnight, “stand up, tell me, what is that one up to now?”.

Now Danny would actually like to know that as well honestly. Vlad always had a million plans and no way he’d take this shit well.

“After returning to Amity and the mortal realm alongside it, he agreed to ‘watch over’ Valerie Gray and… your son, while the Fenton’s helped with clean up. Your son’s fraid snuck in, weakened him with an invention of his own making, and hog tied him”.

Danny snorts, go them, “nice going guys, wreck his shit”. The FrightKnight actually nods respectfully at Danny, “Vladimir Masters Plasmius had planned to let you wear his majesty out enough for him to take the crown and make me his knight”, huffing, “as if such a thing was possible”.

Pariah laughs loudly, ClockWork simply shaking their head in amusement. That plan sounded exactly like the kind of underhanded, make someone else do the work for me, shit that Vlad would pull. But that meant that Vlad legit thought Danny could win? Just how powerful did Vlad think Danny was??? Or was he just underestimating Pariah that much? Well, it was probably the second option, since Vlad was awful for underestimating people.

Pariah looking down at Danny, “that one is one of yours, punish him how ever you like. As it seems your fraid has already done themselves”.

“So I should blow is house up again, is what you’re saying”. Danny has a feeling Sam and Tuck just earned some positive points with his dad. Nice.

ClockWork holding up a finger and leaning at Danny, “you may want to at least call Ms. Manson though”.

Danny groans, “oh Zone, is she trying to force fed him nightshade again”.

“Indeed”.

“Damn it, Sam”. Danny digging into his impossible pockets, that he thankfully still had, pulls out the little cell Tuck modified to shit so that it would actually work across dimensions… it usually worked anyways.

“DANNY!”.

Yeah okay he saw the shouting coming, still loud though. “Ghost ears guys, I am fine. But put down the fucking nightshade, Sam. I have, like, twenty boxes of fruit loops in the closet, just pelt him with those”.

Sam: “How do you even know! Fine”.

Tuck: “Danny dude are you okay? Not any deader?”.

Danny shrugs to himself, “one, because I know you, Sam. Two because god told me, that is not actually a joke. And yes, Tuck, I’m okay just..”, glancing up at Pariah’s face, ClockWork’s as well as they’ve settled back on the larger ghosts shoulder. “Just got some shit to figure out, turns out I have dead family? Yeah, I’ll explain later”.

Sam: “and what have you been doing while we’ve been worried?!? Yeah we got an ominous letter saying you were fine but like Zone we’d believe that”.

Tuck: “what she said. Does god hate your guts too?”.

Sam: “have you met him? Of course god does”.

“Sam, I’m hurt. I’m not that annoying, unless you ask Vlad but he deserves it. Especially because he is, yes, one hundred percent responsible for this shit, tell him he’s a dumbass, and the next time he thinks pissing off death god is a good idea he should drink himself unconscious first”.

Tuck: “ha!”

Danny nods to himself, “yeah so, no clue when I’ll be back, I’ll try to be quick-ish, promise, okay? And you better put that nightshade back, again, Sam”.

Sam: “damn”… “you sure you’re good? Danny?”.

Tuck: “I’ll eat everything you own if you’re not, man”.

Sam: “did you even win? How?”.

Oh man, what should Danny even say to that? Well he could just fuck with them? Yeah okay they’ll try to kick his ass later but it’ll be worth it. “Yeah didn’t even really fight actually, turns we’re related. Bye”. And promptly hangs up to the sound of shouting. ClockWork smacks him on the head with their staff, “that was mean, son”. Danny only pouts in response.

Pariah waving ClockWork off, “oh let him have his fun”; ClockWork whacks him one too. Leaving dad and son rubbing their heads.

…

The FrightKnight speaks back up against after a bit, “may I inquire about the young prince’s name? To inform the legion and the people?”.

And now Danny’s confused again, did Frighty really seriously forget his name? “Really, Frighty?”.

ClockWork laughs to themselves while Pariah quirks an eyebrow, a judgy one, at Danny. Making the boy squirm a little, “I like nicknaming people, usually to their annoyance”, rubbing his neck and asking, “what does he mean though? My name isn’t exactly unknown”. He literally shouted it as he thought he was flying to his death death for fucks sake!

ClockWork hums, “he means that the name you have is not one we, your parents, have given you”.

“Well I mean, no one decent actually calls me what they named me…”. He still hated being called Daniel, maybe that was because his actual parents didn’t name him that? Danny and Phantom were definitely his names though, even if Danny was technically more of a nickname.

Pariah tilts his head, “something similar perhaps, I refuse to not name my own son”. ClockWork nodding agreeingly, “Dane, Dean, Dayne, Dagny, Denny, Danhy…”.

Danny? gets positively bombarded by D names.

…

It takes a while but they finally, finally, agree on ‘Danhy’ which sounds nearly identically to ‘Danny’ in his opinion, but whatever, at least they’re happy. Danny is just laying on his stomach, on the ground now, while the two ghosts had floated off arguing about the naming thing, were parents normally this heated about baby naming? Ugh. He’s decided that if he ever has a kid he’s called them either Elle or Dan, gender pending. Did that spell out danelle? Yup. Was that maybe a little egotistical? Also yes. Does he care? No. He’s fourteen for fucks sake! He’s not having kids now! (The future would prove that was a lie, fuck you Vlad). At least it was agreed that Phantom was absolutely his name, especially since chosen names were more important than given ones with ghosts, hence why so many ghosts called him Phantom exclusively.

At least the FrightKnight looks like he’s suffering too, Danny pushing himself up off the floor and dusting off his knees. The pointy boots were still surprising to see. The FrightKnight looking him over, huh Danny-Danhy thinks he might have grown a little too. “So it’ll be Phantom Danhy then, am I correct”. Him and Frighty looking to Pariah and ClockWork, both nodding.

Pariah crossing his arms and looking down at them, “so it will be, I’ll smite any who call you that other name”, and scowls. ClockWork actually rolls their eyes.

Danny holding up a finger, “Vlad gets a pass, because that’s a thing with us. I call him Vladdie or V man insultingly, he calls me Daniel insultingly. I call him a fruitloop, he calls me little badger. I call him vampire ass, he calls me hero wannabe. It’s a whole thing”, frowning, “and no smiting Lancer, he’s my favourite teacher”.

Pariah actually sighs, the FrightKnight seems spooked by this, “very well. They are your subjects, I suppose”. ClockWork smiles fondly at the large ghost.

ClockWork floats down and around Danhy, gesturing around, “you should at least familiarize yourself with your castle, no? For it is yours as much as your dad’s, unlike my Clocktower Citadel”. Pariah nods, “indeed, you are irreplaceable as the Guardian of Time”, looking very specifically at Danhy with meaning, “while I can be succeeded”.

Danhy is distinctly reminded of that sword stuck in that podium, rubbing his neck, “yeah okay, I’m not gonna try to stab you anymore”.

“Good”.

Danny, and ClockWork, float up to be more on level with Pariah as the ghost begins what’s effectively a tour.

…

To say there’s a lot of rooms would be an understatement, and it looked like some of the place was rebuilding itself to its former glory? Neat. Pariah seemed annoyed that that even needed to be happening at all, fair, it was his castle that got its ass destroyed. Danhy’d be petty annoyed if someone beat the shit out of his town to this degree too. There’s a tapestry room, treasury, maybe a meeting room, servant rooms, dressing rooms, ceremonial rooms, banquet hall, Pariah’s bed room, ClockWork’s bedroom, a… couples room (little weird to see that), and… his bedroom.

His bedroom.

As in a room, in this giant fuck off castle, that was for him.

It was still so weird, but also felt… really right. This place already seemed more like home that FentonWork’s, especially because it didn’t suddenly attack him at all. Sure sometimes the ceilings felt too tall or the rooms too big but that also meant more room to fly around in. ClockWork even told him a space observatory was already forming! How cool was that!?

His room though? It changed the second he stepped foot in it. Went from looking like it was definitely intended for a toddler to… well to his.

Glowing stars patterned the roof, walls painted in ecto green galaxies, a fluffy night sky dark carpet the kind that Jack and Maddie always said was too difficult to clean ectoplasm out of so why bother, the bed is HUGE and covered in soft thick comforter after comforter perfect for a cuddle pile, there’s random ass weapons and medikits and a Fenton Thermos with a DP on it of all things, the closets full of baggy clothes and nasa print and pun shirts, there’s an entire box of spare shoes since he destroyed his so often, a milkshake machine! Espresso too!, a little laptop that Tuck can definitely mess with to get it to work cross realm, there’s a little dog bed for Cujo even. It’s awesome really.

Danhy turning his head to tell them as such, “this is so freaking cool!”. That earns him some hair ruffles, Pariah looks a little judgy but whatever. It was probably because Danhy wasn’t, like, a tough bad boy, or whatever, like him. Besides, Danny can absolutely see a mini bomb or two, he got menace privileges some times okay? And bombs were really easy to make.

… maybe Danhy can spend at least one night here before heading back. And seeing the grins on Pariah and ClockWork when he tells them as much kinda makes it worth it all the more.

Yeah, this place was definitely a home of sorts. He was totally gonna have to drag Sam and Tuck over, and give very thorough introductions and convince them that no the giant scarred horned Viking ghost was not tricking him and would not kill them or try to.

Waking up in the morning is fucking blissful because his new bed is fucking heavenly on sore muscles and bruised bone. He calls Sam and Tuck immediately to let them know he’s up and awake before going about getting up. He’s human again, and has a mirror…

He looks…

Not that different actually. His jaw is a bit sharper, hair’s a bit more fluffy and scruffy, he has a tiny amount of stubble!, his eyes have a sharpness to them that wasn’t there before he thinks and they’ve got that black ‘evil eyeliner’ shit that so many ghosts had, his canines are a little longer but not outright fangs ditto for his finger nails, he is definitely more physically filled out, still really pale… Other than that he looked exactly the same, and with throwing on some of the clothing he looks even more the way he always has.

It’s kinda weird… not looking much different for how much has just inherently changed. But…

Looking back and shifting forms.

Oh yeah, different big time. PR nightmare for sure. The armour does one hundred percent go down his back and into his belt just like the front. Pale blue skin? Check. Pointed ears and fangs? Check. Lazily flaming white hair? Check. Red pupils in green eyes with that evil eyeliner? Check. Man he’s gotta stop calling it evil eyeliner now. Damn. Still got the little, now white, stubble though! Awesome!

Running a hand through the flames, which moves like it is actually hair, weird, “alright. Okay. I looks badass at least. I definitely can’t let Sam and Tuck see this form first though or they will have heart attacks thinking I’m fully dead or something”, cringing, “which, well, I am. But also am not”. Well they’ve been cool with his half dead shit, full dead and full alive was barely different.

Shaking his head and changing back human to pop out, nearly smashing into The FrightKnight, “Zone fuck! Dude what the Hell?”.

“I was instructed to wait here for you to wake, my prince”.

“Do you want me to stab you? I will stab you?”.

The FrightKnight shakes his head and leads Danhy to a feasting hall. ClockWork was off in a corner looking at mirror screen things that had seemed to form out of nowhere. Pariah was still looking through stone tablets, oh fuck that guy probably has centuries of shit to go through. Please say Danhy won’t have to help with that, please. ClockWork making him jump, “I wouldn’t fret, it’s a prince’s job to fool around and make a mess, until it’s their time to deal with all the fools and messes”.

Danhy putting a hand to his chest, “way to give me a heart attack, pops, damn”.

Pariah huffs from his chair, “you can not get heart attacks, Danhy, you are immune to such mortal weakness”, then eyeing ClockWork, “ancient one, lonely one, come rest your head, our son is up is he not”. ClockWork does send away the screen things at least.

Danhy tilting his head as ClockWork gives him some cereal, fucking booberries nice, “what are the screen things?”.

“Time and all that’s contained within it”.

“That explains nothing, thanks”. Zone damn it. Danhy’s decided he definitely likes this cheeky bastard. Then having to tilt his head back, spoon in his mouth, at Pariah just suddenly being behind him looming over him; Danhy blinks and smirks up cheekily.

“I believe I know where you got most of your personality”.

Danhy will take the compliment. Danhy then proceeds to swallow before spitting a spoon out at Pariah Dark god king of death, overlord and warlord of all of the Infinite Realm itself. ClockWork turns away barely containing laughter.

“Since it appears you’re rested, we will spar again”.

Oh it seems Danhy has made a mistake. A fatal error.

…

Danhy did, in fact, make a mistake. As he gets bodily tossed into a wall. He guesses it makes sense his dad, a ghost king, would want to see what his missing son is made of. Especially with Danhy having been living/existing surrounded by squishy humans and fighting more average strength ghosts. You know, instead of fucking gods and entire armies; which yes, he was somewhat expected to somewhat deal with now.

Also though, Danhy was stronger than he was before. He’s pretty sure ClockWork did more than just restrict his appearance. ‘Cause when he blasts his dad it actually pierces the shield Pariah makes; at least the ghost looks pleased.

Danhy still gets bashed with a mace though. He manages to kick him into a wall back at least, not that that seemed to do any actual damage.

Pops meanwhile was just reversing time around things to fix damages. Danhy pouting at them when he breaks another chair trying to avoid a sword, ClockWork only smirks at him; jerk. Danhy throws the sword back, also glaring at Pariah just mentally catching with telekinesis.

Danhy thinks he has telekinesis but ain’t about to count on that.

“You are still young”.

“I’ve noticed”. Danhy absolutely takes the very next cheap shot he can, smacking Pariah with a broken pillar before ClockWork gets to fixing it. he also successfully avoids multiple thrown weapons.

Pariah grinning at him, “you’re battle harden enough, not as far as you would have been under me but it will do”. Danhy’s not sure if that’s a compliment. “You don’t hesitate to use your environment to your advantage or your size in comparison to mine”.

Danhy’s up on the ceiling in a Spider-Man pose sticking out his tongue, at least now he knew this wasn’t ’fuck imma die’ kinda fight. “I fight a lot of different ghosts, of shape, size, and location. I might not do wars or gods or whatever but I still have a combat skill set”.

ClockWork sticking up a finger, fixing a chair, “and Maddie did teach you multiple mortal fighting techniques”. Making Danhy rub his neck, dodging an axe without having to look at it, “yeah, one of the few things she actually would praise me for”. The Fenton’s didn’t care about space or art so those skills didn’t matter to them; and he didn’t have good grades and didn’t agree with them about ghosts, so the fighting techniques was all he did good in their eyes. They… still did love him though, which was weird to think about now. Should he tell them? It would be kinda mean not to, but it was also kinda mean to want to dissect sentient beings.

Danhy flipping and twisting inhumanly around Pariah’s fist, smacking the guys wrist with his ghostly tail, Pariah shaking it off as he flies backwards, grinning impressed, “it takes a great deal of force and power to deal damage with one’s tail”.

“It does?”, danhy did it all the time!

Pariah nods, “I believe this is enough”, letting Danhy relax, “I believed you want to return to that town of yours, correct?”; he’s clearly still none too happy about that but Danhy nods anyways.

Danny rubbing his neck as he lowers himself enough to be on eye level with his dad, “though, like, obviously I’m coming back often, duh. But, like, I definitely want to finish human school and hang out in my town, you know? And being in Amity is kinda needed to protect it and shit”.

ClockWork smirking gets Danhy’s attention, “I think you’ll find that to not be the case now. You are my son after all, I hardly need to be somewhere to see or sense what is occurring there”. Danhy absolutely gasping, if Clocky was implying he could sense if a ghost was starting shit regardless of where Danhy was that would be awesome! Especially since FentonWorks wasn’t actually a super safe place to stay ever really. Pariah crossing his arms, “I could merely decree the citizens stay out-”.

Danhy butting in immediately, “hey no bad, I’m a big believer in personal freedom. Plus I’d be sad if Boxy ever got over his weird masochistic desire to fight me”. ClockWork smirking meanly, “I’ll make sure to remind you of that when you complain about him fighting you twenty plus times in a day”.

“Hey, be nice to me, I’m baby”, glancing around a little, “but since you’re the one that put me with the Fenton’s, do they know? Should I tell them?”.

Pariah apparently has opinions on that, “I have no interest in them believing nor claiming themselves my son’s makers”. Danhy can’t really blame the guy for that, he just found his kid again! Of course he wouldn’t want someone else calling his son theirs.

ClockWork looks unimpressed at Pariah, “he can hardly be open with his relation to us, as a human or ghost, with the humans”, then tilting their head and humming. Pariah just waits so Danhy’s going to take a wild guess and say they ‘saw’ something. ClockWork’s grin is nearly ear splitting, “or he could be, as a human at least”. Danhy knows that smile is absolutely meant to encourage him to go along with this, probably because it will cause chaos; Clocky seems to like chaos.

Pariah smiles back, “I care not if the truth torments anyone, if it’s well for him then he should”, and looks at danhy.

Okay so… then Danhy should? Obviously he’s telling Sam and Tuck, he basically already did. But this was free range to just tell fucking everyone. Just ‘oh yeah, freaky Fenton? Not actually a Fenton! Actually the child of a god and death king!’ which yeah, chaos. Something tells him Dash will still try to give him swirlies and shit. But… this would give him a good excuse for any power usage or other general weirdness. Like if he, say, looks more ghostly even while human in the future. Plus will Jack/kinda dad actually be able to keep this to himself if Danhy tells him? Danhy will tell Vlad for sure, that guy won’t tell anyone. Shrugging, “eh fuck it, why not”, plus he legit feels like Maddie or Jack calling him son now is going to actually bother him. More of a ‘rubs him the wrong way’ rather than making him wanna punch them like with Vlad.

He gets a pair of matching grins, one mischievous and one vaguely cruel; Danhy giving back a cruel mischievous smile.

ClockWork holds up a finger, “as for how you wound up with the Fenton’s, since this will be relevant, young Jasmine found you in a haunted forest. The Fenton’s believed you to be spirited away by ghosts and insisted on keeping you. ‘For your safety’”.

Danhy snorts, “well I guess I was spirited away in a sense”. Pariah glares at ClockWork over that, clearly still none too pleased.

Danhy eyes the FrightKnight, “why are you following me, Frighty?”.

Pariah crosses his arms, leaning down at Danhy, “you are his prince, you are to be protected at the least for your first return trip. It is the least of his duties”. What a nice way to say Frighty had to do this or else.

Danhy groaning and sagging dramatically, “but whyyyyyy?”. ClockWork scolding him, “let your dad pamper you some, I’m sure you’ll enjoy the out come”. That feels more like an ominous warning instead of comfort.

Danhy squinting, “suddenly I don’t trust you”. The FrightKnight actually picks him up and carries him over his shoulder to fly away from the castle, “you are going to be the end of me”.

“Awww, come on now, why would I end my new pet?”.

“I am hardly a pet”.

“I think I could convince dad to decree otherwise”.

“I humbly request that you do no such thing, your highness”.

“Beg me more, peasant”.

The FrightKnighr doesn’t dignify that with a response. But hey, Danhy is obviously not going to actually get Frighty’s title change to ‘pet’, Danhy wasn’t nearly that much of a dick.

…

Danhy shoves himself off of The FrightKnight’s shoulder when they get to the portal, Danhy floating and human dusting himself off, “you are not shoulder carrying me in, gosh”.

“That would be rather undignified, yes”.

“Fuck you”.

Danhy sticks his fingers in the door crack and just yanks the thing open, so long as it’s not locked that’ll work; especially with his newer strength. It is not locked, nice. Leaving Danhy nodding at the swirling portal, shouting, “BARREL ROLL!”, and summersaulting in; The FrightKnight sighing after him.

---

Pariah watching on one of ClockWork’s time screens, ClockWork sitting on his shoulder, “that boy is appropriately a menace. I almost pity my knight”.

“Oh it gets worse, one day he’ll terrorize Nocturne within their own domain within their domain. Best Votex with his own might. He’ll mount an Observant like taxidermy. A ViralHelm has even taken a liking to him”.

Pariah almost regrets having a child, he absolutely does not though. That boy was precious, precious and merciless. When he first fought the boy, the boy truly meant to do away with him; as unready as he was to do so.

ClockWork seeing something that’s not on the screen, “he could be the best or the worst thing this realm has ever seen, I’m afraid. He has suffered and he will suffer more; there is nothing for it but the worst out come is no longer possible”.

“… Thank you”.

“Of course, and may the Observants fall”.

“They will, no matter what, they will; for they are the ones who have done wrong, not I, and I have no interest in providing second chances”.

Chap.3: Life’s So Far Complicated

Jazz jumps up from the chair she’d practically slept in, blanket falling to the ground, “Danny!”.

Danhy blinks at her, he didn’t actually expect anyone to be here, fuck. Why does he do this to himself? He should have checked first! “Jazz?”, eyeing the blanket on the ground, “did you sleep in the lab?”. Even Danhy had never done that! The FrightKnight walks in through the portal, all tall armoured and threatening; making Jazz tense and try to move for a weapon. Danhy holding up his hands, “hey woah it’s fine, he’s cool now. So why were you sleeping down here?”.

She blinks at him, “mom and dad are out and Sam and Tuck are watching Vlad so I told them I’d wait for your return”.

Danhy blinks, “my… return?”. Okay now he’s confused. He’d expect that from Sam or Tuck but, like, Jazz shouldn’t know he was in the gz.

“I know Danny, okay”, she glances around awkwardly, smiling a little though, “I’ve known for a while, I told Sam and Tucker because they tried to go looking for you”.

Danhy makes aggressive disbelieving hand gestures at her, screwing his face up a bunch, “the fuck, how?”.

“You should check doorways better when you transform in alleyways, Danny”, her smile is soft at least, “I’m glad I know though, even if you keep worrying me. Which please stop”.

Danhy pouts, “okay fine I guess that’s on me”, well at least it was Jazz who saw, not like a G.I.W. agent or something.

The FrightKnight shakes his head, arms crossed, “you are far too relaxed and inattentive, your highness”. Danhy huffing and sticking his arms out to the side, “dude! You gotta let me explain shit before you start using royal titles holy shit!”. The ghost is absolutely not apologetic.

Jazz looks deeply concerned, “Danny… did you dethrone a king?”. Which fine, that’s exactly what he had technically gone to do.

Danhy facepalms, “okay I know why that would make sense and that would be less weird, but no”. Fucking FrightKnight and his stupid mouth. Dropping his hand from his face and rubbing his neck, “so, I now know I’m adopted and how?”. Jazz practically collapsing back into the chair, wheezing. Danhy walking after her, “and like, no hard feelings about not telling me or anything, ‘cause that woulda probably bothered me and been yet another thing on my mind all the time, so you’re good, and I also know that you pretty much brought me into the family? Also that theory about me being ‘spirited away by ghosts’ is actually correct, surprise?”.

Jazz bends over and wheezes, “oh I hate that, please don’t tell them that part”, her sitting back up, “if you’re going to bring this up to them at all, you don’t have to. But… how did you find out? Is that why you were gone so long? Are they… ghosts? Were they trying to protect you from the afterlife since they couldn’t stay with you?”.

“Fuck you for being freakishly close to the truth. You are too smart for your own good, Zone damn”.

She beams at him, “I’ll take the compliment, little brother”, pointing at him firmly, “you’re still my brother no matter what”.

Danhy putting up his hands, “yeah yeah, of course, Jazz. Being related doesn’t mean shit, I mean you basically raised me”. She smiles sadly at that while Danhy moves to sit on a desk, “the only part you’re missing or got wrong I guess, is, uh, apparently I was never really human. Born a ghost, just apparently my, you know, parents are extra and decided to defy reality and defile life and death, their words, and have me as also a fully living human. Or ghost able to be human”.

She buries her head in her hands, whining, “Danny”.

“Yeah I know, I’m a handful. You know the guy who just abducted the town? Yeah”.

She doesn’t move for a beat, looking up at him with almost disgust, “the giant horned Viking? That threatened to kill everyone? The one Vlad implied is the king of all ghosts? That one?”, scrunching her face up and glaring at the FrightKnight, “that’s why you called him ‘your highness’! God, Danny”.

“My other parent is, in fact, a god, yes”. She throws the blanket at his stupid smirk. Fair enough. Danhy shoving the blanket back to the floor, “to be fair, he was doing that because he lost his shit over his kid suddenly going missing as an infant”, rolling his wrist, “my other parent just didn’t tell him they took me to the living realm to protect me from some other god assholes”. Jazz looks like she wants to cry and hit him.

Danhy swings his legs a bit, “so”.

“Oh my Zone your life is a nightmare, Danny”

“I think ectoplasmic soap opera is more accurate”.

“Go see your friends before they kill Vlad, you jerk”.

“They haven’t already?”.

She throws the blanket at him again, he does move to head upstairs while finger gunning at her though; leaving behind a groaning sister. It was… kinda nice that she knew about him actually; and she’s clearly been able to sit with it for a while so he shouldn’t fret about it too much.

…

Danhy sticks his head into his room, Sam’s and Tuck’s backs are to him, Vlad’s unconscious, Val’s asleep. Cool. Okay. Danhy pulling his head back and pointing at the FrightKnight, “you. Stay put”. The ghost rolls his eyes and huffs, but does as he’s told. Danhy pushing his way in fully.

“DANNY!”.

Danhy can’t help but grin at the fond overly worried way the shout at him. Both tackling him in a hug… it’s a lot easier to stay standing than it used to be.

Tuck pulls back and squints at him, holding his shoulders, “you are Danny, right? You look off”. Sam also pulling back and squinting at him suspiciously.

Danhy puts up his hands as much as he can, “yea, Tuck, man. Like I said, got some weird ass shit to explain. It’s one part a power upgrades though”; that gets him a high five.

“Awesome dude! You better explain though, you look all kinds of off”.

Sam frowning at him, crossing her arms, “agreed, your eyes look more like Vlad’s”.

“I take great offence to that, ouch”, Danhy rubs his neck before pointing at his bed and moving to flop down on it, they join him is a sorta cuddle pile at least. “Okay, so when I said I’m related to Pariah, I meant that shit. See apparently these two ghost gods had a kid, some other ghost gods were assholes trying to basically kill me so the one god sent me to the living realm where Jazz found me and thus I got adopted by the Fentons”.

It takes a while to get a response, Tuck snorting, “so basically you’re not human at all and never were? How the heck, dude”.

Sam hums, poking Danny’s side, “I’m not so sure about that, he’s way too human to not be human-ish”.

Danhy chuckling, “I mean, I did grow up around humans, Sam. But yes, I am human. My two actual parents are crazy-”.

“-wow, you find out your crazy parents aren’t actually your parents only for your actual parents to also be crazy, fuck you I guess”.

Danhy jabs Tuck one, lightly because he’s pretty positive his strength is outta whack, “I know right? Anyway they decided fuck it, let’s have a kid that is utterly impossible and both a hundred percent dead AND a hundred percent alive. So I’m not half alive, half dead any more; just all dead and all alive”. They both laugh mercilessly. “Oh and Sam? No one and nothing actually killed me, all the portal did was apparently weaken the seal or whatever my apparent pops put on me so I’d stay hidden with humans”.

The sigh of relief is very audible, Danny’s frankly just glad that she’ll hopefully finally stop blaming herself for something that was never her fault now. He knows Sam’s biting her lip, “well the accident still could have gotten you found I guess”.

“Sam no, it’s seriously fine. Also pops literally knew it was gonna happen, they can see the future and I’m thankful I did not inherit that, holy shit”. That would have been such a headache and he honestly would have a hard time not constantly trying to fix future problems. Clocky seemed amoral enough to stay neutral on most things.

“... wow. What did you inherit then?”, Tuck chuckles, “I’ve always kinda wondered what the hell you even got from your parents- the Fenton’s, I mean”.

“That’s fair”. Even Danhy kinda noticed the lack of similarities. Sam only hums in agreeance. So Danhy continues, “what’s also fair is you laughing at me when I transform next, the changes are a lot more noticeable in ghost form. My skin is blue, guys. And now my hairs made of fire”.

Sam grumbles, “that’s going to blow up online”.

“I know! I’m not looking forward to that”, sighing, “and my suit is less biohazard jumpsuit, more armour with actual clothing and boots and gloves and, ugh I know Vlad’s gonna be a pain, because I also have a freaking cape now”. He, once again, gets laughed at mercilessly.

Tuck, between laughs and snorts, “in short”, laugh, “you look”, snort, “like a proper”, laugh, “proper hero”, laugh, “now”, snort, “underwear on the”, laugh, “on the outside now?”.

“Ew no! And I’d show y'all now but I don’t feel like playing chicken with Val’s sleeping habits”.

Sam jabs him, “look at you being smart for once, also, you have stubble”. Tuck shouting, “damn you!”, and punching Danhy in the arm.

Danhy cackles, “sucks to suck, Tuck! But literally both of them have solid facial hair so it ain’t weird, though Clocky’s is only sometimes there? Cause they’ve got a weird constant age changing thing going on, also glad I didn’t inherit that”, and shudders to himself, “also glad I’m not, like, twenty damn feet tall like dad”.

Tuck pushes himself up to stare down at Danhy, quirking an eyebrow, “you have adjusted weirdly quickly to calling them your, dad and pops? Two guys? Whatever. Ghost thing?”. Sam grumbling, “it’s not like the Fenton’s really deserve to be called parents to begin with”.

Danhy wincing, they weren’t exactly wrong about that. Jack and Maddie had never really treated him or Jazz super well. Eyeing Tuck, “yeah, ghost thing. Apparently ghosts can just feel family, that’s partly why I know they’re telling the truth. Besides the sudden changes in my appearance and Pariah doing a sudden one eighty from murdery to ‘son?’”, humming, “it’s sorta a soft, safe, yarn feeling; kinda hard to put into words”.

Tuck shrugs down at him before flopping back down partly on top of him, “eh that tracks for ghost shit, dude”, jerking back up, “wait Pariah’s the ghost king right?!?”.

Sam jerking up too, “oh yeah, you said you were related. Seriously though? One of your parents is the literal king of ghosts? Is that why he basically demanded you to come to him? Oh that jackass!”.

“Sam the guy was locked in a coffin for centuries thinking his kid was fucking dead dead, I think he’s allowed to be a bit of a jackass”, shrugging up at them, “but yes, that Pariah. I basically said ‘harder daddy’ mid fight and dude went ‘I’m not trying to break your arm, son’, I was very confused”. Tuck wheezes and smacks the bed a few times, Sam just glares at him murderously; she’s calling him a moron in her head, he knows it.

All three still at a soft groan, looking down to the corner where Val is stirring. Danhy pushing himself to be sitting upright with his friends, “well good morning sleepy head”. That gets Val awake immediately, her jumping up “Danny! Where have you been! And why does your hair look like you fluffed it to death with a towel?”. Danhy can’t help wheezing and bending over at that; Sam and Tuck joining in and even Val eventually, who flops back down onto the floor.

Danhy wiping away a tear, “ho, I needed that, thanks Val”. She rolls her eyes, Danhy continuing, “and I’ve been finding out I’m fucking adopted, hows your day going?”. Sam and Tuck give him slightly worried looks so he leans over whispering, “it’s fine, I’ve pretty much been told I gotta be open about it as, you know, good ol’ human Danny not-a-Fenton”. They sigh at him, clearly thinking this is dumb but not fighting him on this.

He can’t blame them, it is actively pretty fucking dumb. But the pros out weigh the cons, causing chaos for one and of course covering any ghostly shit he might do and covering Frighty maybe following him around and getting him out of ‘being a Fenton’ kinda and letting him go back home to the castle more. Lots of things really.

Val blinks at him, “what? Since when? Like the Fenton’s aren’t your parents or someone literally just randomly adopted you and you had to go deal with it”.

“The first, Val. My life’s weird but the universe doesn’t quite hate me that much, zone fuck”.

Tuck snorting, “if anyone accidentally adopted Danny, it’d be Vlad”.

“Do not temp that fate, Tuck”. Danhy ignores the huffed, “as if Pariah or ClockWork would allow such a thing”, from the other side of the door; at least the guy was quiet enough to avoid being heard by normal human ears.

Val grimaces, “I hate that you sound like you have a point”.

Danhy grimacing, “he’s tried. Buuuuuut, apparently my real parents hid me in a forest to stop gods from killing me, because the universe does actually hate me that much, the Fenton’s found me and now here I am? Tada?”, shrugging exaggeratedly, “also I may or may not owe the town a slight apology since my dad is the guy that just abducted the town into the gz”.

Val stares at him disbelievingly, “... the giant Viking ghost is your dad? What the fuck Danny”.

“Yup, apparently him and a literal ghost god wanted a living kid, ninety percent out of spite towards life and death itself apparently. Some overseer asshole ghost gods did not like that apparently”.

Val throws her hands up in the air, “it’s official, I give up on actually making any sense out of you”, pointing at him, “you are human though, right?”.

“Yes, Val. Just a little weirder than should be possible. Technically my existence is an affront to nature and completely impossible”.

“Can you use your parent rights to make all these ghosts fuck off?”.

“Fuck you. I stand for free will”.

Sam huffing and crossing her arms, “I second that free will. What, in any realm, would make you think Danny’s the type to strip that away from people? Dead people or not”.

Val sticks her arms out to the side, “they’re being a problem!”.

Danhy sticks his arms out right back, “maybe I like problems! Just be glad me not being totally fucking dead solved one problem. Since dad was only being murdery since he thought I’d been smitted out of existence by floating assholes!”.

“You’re seriously calling a ghost dad?!?”.

“Yes! Fuck you! He’s dad!”, shrugging, “other’s pops even if they’re a they them”.

Val geistiges wildly, “they’re ghosts, Danny!”.

“I have decided I do not care, and it ain’t up to you if I care or not, so there”, and Danhy sticks out his tongue at her.

Val groans loudly, let her be upset, this ain’t her choice. His actual parents were great! Val glaring, “you’re a dumbass”.

“That’s not new news”.

Val stares at him. He stares back. Eventually she sags, “whelp, guess I’m sorta friends with a dumbass and a guy with ghost family, fuck my life”, blinking, “wait is this why you’re sorta ghostly?”.

That gets three, ‘what’s in response. So she shrugs, “your eyes flash green when you’re angry, you give off the sorta creepy danger vibe that ghosts do, you bare your teeth a lot”, and rolls her wrists.

“People actually notice I/he does that?!?”.

Danhy throwing his hands out, “why does no one bitch at me about that shit?!?”.

Val looks amused, still clearly annoyed but also amused, “Everyone just thinks the Fenton’s messed you up”.

Danhy flushes, “well to be fair they did feed me ectoplasm, so they probably would have”. Why they did that he still doesn’t quite get, scientists sure but if you’re gonna test shit like that then test it on yourself not on your supposed kids.

Tuck snorting, “well I guess we know how the heck that didn’t kill you, or mess you up”.

Val grimaces, “yeah that’s really messed up, I thought you were kidding all the times you mentioned them basically experimenting on you”, huffing, “I guess I can understand not wanting the Fenton’s as parents. Taking ghosts over them is still ridiculous. And I am absolutely not calling you, ‘your highness’”.

The FrightKnight has apparently gotten bored, sticking his head in through the door, “you should, the Prince is above you”.

Val damn near launches herself into the ceiling, and twitches; Danhy groans, “you were doing so good at staying, like a good little doggie”. The FrightKnight almost looks insulted as he just walks through the door entirely into the room, ugh.

Val growling, “what the hell”. Danny would bet money that she’s seconds away from trying to throw hands with the FrightKnight... again.

Danny jumping up and off of his bed, standing between a pissed and startled Val and Frighty, “don’t start throwing my stuff at the dude that’s technically my body guard now”. The FrightKnight is busy glaring down at the somehow still unconscious Vlad. Danhy continuing with trying to pacify the trigger happy huntress, “yes, Pariah basically stuck him to me ‘cause of, you know, people maybe wanting to kill me for my relations and shit”. That was some believable bullshit, right? Right.

She smacks him, which he fully expected, at least The FrightKnight doesn’t react; because Danhy’s friends and sorta friend are absolutely allowed to hit him. Thing is Val just kinda keeps hitting him, until she seems to tire herself out; Sam and Tuck are just laughing, since it was kinda obvious she wasn’t actually trying to hurt him here. Danhy, with arms covering his face for protection, “you done?”; he wasn’t even so much as bruised but still, he is definitely more durable now.

She hits him once more just to be able to say, “no”. Then flopping back down onto the ground, leaning backwards on her hands and glaring up at Danhy, “you suck, that thing was literally terrorising people and now it’s just following you around? Seriously?”.

“He’s the fucking personification of fear, what the Zone do you expect? For him to not scare people?”.

Sam getting up and brushing off her pants, “as fun as it was to watch Valerie beat you, we should probably drop Vlad off before he wakes up to a knight ghost ominously staring down at him”. The FrightKnight sighs, picking the old man up and throwing him over his shoulder, definitely bruising the guys chin in the process, “I’m well aware of his residences”.

Val glaring, “and whys that, ghost”.

“He attempted to request for my assistance before”.

Danhy puts a hand to his chest, “and what? You’re just gonna leave poor, weak, defenceless, me here alone. The audacity. How could you”. Sam smacks him over the head for that one. The FrightKnight just shaking his head before flying off out the window... at least Val doesn’t try to follow him or some shit, even if Danhy’s positive she wants to.

Annnnnd then Jazz opens the door, sticking her head in, “okay so, I noticed the very unnecessary and noticeable, Danny, guard is gone. I feel the need to point out that you are absolutely going to have to explain this to mom and dad if that Knight ghost is just going to follow you around constantly”.

Danhy rubbing his neck then looking around the room, “so who feels like helping explain that their adopted kid is the child of ghosts, ghost royalty and gods specifically, to the Fenton’s?”.

Val puts her hands up, “nope. I’m out. I was out before you even asked. I’d offer a place to stay if me and dad had the room though. Also, you still suck”. Tuck adding on, “my place is always open to Danny-dude, don’t worry about it”.

Sam laughing at him, “I’m pretty sure no one can actually help with that, Danny. You’re screwed”.

“Ha! Don’t I know it”, Danhy shrugging, “advice though?”; Danhy’s open to pretty much anything here. ‘Cause there was no way this was going to go remotely well for him at all, even kinda.

“Don’t tell them at all?”.

“Hide all the weapons before they get here, remove the weapons vault doorknob, and stand very far away”.

“Don’t die”.

“Don’t outright reject them as parents, I get that you might not see that way now, but do they really need to know that?”.

Danhy scratching his head, “well not dying is kinda the main goal, Val, and I’m telling them, Sam”.

Sam huffs, “I don’t know why you think they deserve to know anything ever”.

Danhy rolling eyes, “at the least they gave me family till I found my actual one”, pointing at Val, “ghosts or no”, then focusing back on Sam, “and not telling them when I fully intend to be more or less public with this sounds super stupid and hard to do”.

“Why would you do that?”.

“Even I think that’s stupid to do, Danny”.

“I mean at least I’ll get some cred for being a prince’s friend? I also think this is a dumb idea though, man”.

Danhy leans away from them all, “hey, literally all three of you immediately noticed I’ve changed, for one. For two, I need some kind of explination for inevitable accidental ghost-like shit. For three, I honestly would rather sleep in Pariah’s Keep than here; I have a room that’s super comfy with a very cuddle pile worthy bed. For four, they, Pariah mostly, really want it public and as it stands I like them”.

Sam smirks at him, “aw look at you actually trying to make a parental figure proud for a change”. Danhy pouts at her, yes Pariah did… probably end A TON of ghosts and all the ghosts seemed to view him as a horrific threat but Danhy’s positive he’d take losing his own loved ones just as poorly if not worse. The guy was old fashion but he seemed nice enough! Sure he shot Danhy into a wall and a bunch of other things but that’s just ghosts for you. Plus! Danhy not being good at fighting would definitely be a problem, ‘cause he’s one hundred percent going to get into fights purely because of who he is now rather than just what or because he was protecting humans or because he was fun to fight. Now there were gonna be ghosts who wanted to test ‘their prince’ -still weird that that meant him- and ‘Pariah’s spawn’. Danhy’s got no clue how well known clockpops is so he can’t say for sure if anyone’s gonna fight him over being related to them or not.

Jazz sighing, walking over more and smiling at Danhy, “I guess they really must have made a good impression then”. Val scowling, “since when do ghosts ever leave good impressions”.

Danhy snickering, “oh I don’t know, Val. Phantom leaves pretty big ones in the road all the time”. She scowls at him but jumps from her phone going off, “shit dad”, and scurrying out of the room shouting about how she ‘has to head home’ and to ‘not be stupid Danny! They’re ghosts!’. Honestly, Danhy’s more cautious with ghosts than most since he actually knows what he’s actually dealing with, sure the bond thing is definitely making him lower his guard to a weird degree, but screw her, they were safe and home and his. Danhy shaking his head then looking back to his friends and sister, “I guess I should have said this already, but seeing as everyone just keeps saying my name-”.

“It’s a very easy way to scold you, Danny”.

“True”.

“It’s also kinda funny”.

“Hey at least we’re not like Dash”.

“Ugh, don’t remind me”, Danhy sags a little before straightening out, “anyways, they totally changed my name”.

“What!”.

“No! I object”.

“… your face tells me they changed it to actually be Danny”.

Sam and Tuck both blinking and relaxing at realising Jazz is probably right. Danhy grinning, “pretty much, it’s Danhy, with an h, now. It’s Nordic I think?”, and shrugs. All three just laugh at him, Tuck googling a little and yup it’s Nordic.

Sam patting Danhy’s back, “have fun telling Lancer and Vlad that, do you care if we just still with what we know?”.

“Naw, it’s basically the same. And Lancer gets a free pass, Vlad though I’m gonna have fun with. Though I think I convinced dad to not beat them up for calling me ‘Daniel’? he really doesn’t like that someone else named me”.

Jazz shaking her head but tapping her chin, “well, being your actual parents that makes sense, parents often put lots of care and thought into names. And even mom and dad-”, eyeing Danhy a little, “-don’t ever really call you that”.

That was probably really for the best, even if the nickname he gave himself was based off the name they gave him, which of course basically chose his new actual name for him. Pariah was probably never going to actually forgive pops for letting someone else name him. Shrugging, “which I’m very glad about, it not being a name my actual folks gave me is probably part of why I never liked it”, rubbing his neck, “and I’m still not sure on what to call… Jack and Maddie, Jazz. ‘Cause they’re definitely not mom and dad now”, and grimaces, “which is hundred percent partly a ghost thing”. Again, them being ‘mom’ or ‘dad’ felt very wrong now, it made his spine crawl almost as much as it did with Vlad. She doesn’t look happy so he sighs, “it’ll definitely depend how the talk goes”.

Sam huffing, crossing her arms, “if they kick you out or ask if you can give them your parents for experiments, then all they’ll get from me is called ‘the Fenton’s’ with fucking venom”. Danhy scowling, “Sam, if they do the second one I will throw hands”. She clearly agrees with that plan.

Tuck moving to sit back on his? bed, “figured out what you are gonna tell ‘em?”.

“Honesty? Minus any ‘I’m Phantom’ stuff”, rubbing his neck, “Zone I’ll probably explain things better to them than y’all just to get it all out on the table at once”. At least they all nod at that.

Jazz pointing at him though, “do you actually know everything about it though?”. Of course he didn’t? When did he ever know everything about whatever was going on with him? He just laughs meanly at her, making her roll her eyes, “you know if you can’t actually answer all their questions they’re not gonna believe you really”.

“Well then that’s on them”, shrugging, “sure pops could absolutely explain everything, they know literally everything about everything pretty much, but Maddie and Jack probably won’t believe a ghost and ClockWork will definitely mess with them. They gave me my goblin energy”.

“Oh Zone no”.

“There’s a god with your goblin energy? We’re all doomed”.

Jazz just smiles and laughs at him a little, at least she wasn’t freaking out on him. Especially since she knew about the whole ‘your brother is a dead ghost that fights ghosts in the streets all the time’ thing. He’s got some serious questions about how much she knew about his bullshit but that was a conversation for another day and time, especially considering he can hear the front door opening. “Oh shit, I think I just ran out of planning time”.

Jazz quirks an eyebrow but Sam crouches and scurries out of the room quietly and back in, nodding at him, “yeah it’s them. Want us to hide out in here in case shit goes south?”.

Danny crossing his arms and quirking an eyebrow, “will you actually stay up here if they do say something messed up?”, she pouts at him making him sigh, “just, only come down if I actually ask you guys to? Please?”, pointing at Jazz, “and we both know you’ll talk over me and try to explain things yourself”.

She doesn’t deny it, because it’s true and she knows it. “I’ll be in my room, but I’m going to talk to them first”, at Danhy’s face, “not to explain anything, just to prepare them. You being ‘surprise I know I’m adopted’ is not a great ice breaker, Danhy”.

“Well it’s all I got”.

“Exactly”, she huffs and walks out of the room. “Oh! Glad you guys are back!…”.

Danhy blinking at the closing door, did she always have to meddle so much? Like yes he loved her, very much, but ugh. Sisters. She also had a point which was so annoying. Sam and Tuck both pat his back supportingly. Sam pointing at him, “know that both of us will throw hands if they hurt you”. Tuck lifting up his pda, “ready and waiting to strike”.

Zone damn it, he loves these stupid assholes. Queue one quick-ish hugging session.

Jazz eyeing her folks, she seriously hoped this went well. Danny would be upset if it didn’t regardless of them ‘not being mom and dad’. And she doesn’t want to have to choose between her brother and her parents, even if she knows who she’ll pick without a doubt. She loved her parents but they… weren’t great parents or great people.

“How’s holding down the fort been, Jazzy-pants?”.

Mom smacking him lightly, “she didn’t call, so well”, eyeing Jazz, “or it better have been going well”.

Jazz putting on a smile, “it’s been fine, mom. But there is something that’s come up, you remember how Danny was outside the shield?”, hopefully Danny’s hearing is good enough to hear what she’s going with, since he can’t tell them about intentionally flying off to ‘fight Pariah’ as Phantom.

Both nod, mom immediately looking worried, “oh no, did he get sick? Exposed to too much ectoplasm or hurt?”. Dad making a fist, “if any ghost did then they’re meeting Jack Fenton! And his guns!”.

Even if there was a concerning amount of bigotry behind it the statement that he’d defend her brother still makes her feel warm inside. They weren’t great parents, but they weren’t terrible ones either; they had their moments. Smiling a real smile at them, “no he’s fine, mom, dad. Rather, you remember how you guys said I found Danny? Your theory was nearly completely right about what happened”. Sadly she doesn’t think there’s anyway to explain to them without them knowing Danny actually was in that forest because of ghosts. There was no other actually truthful way to explain that. And if Danny was going to be honest about what his real parents were, the only way that would go well is if her and Danny could convince them that at least his parents didn’t mean him harm. Would protect him.

Dad going wide-eyed, smacking a fist into his hand, “I knew it!”, then deflating, “wait, did the ghost or ghosts who spirited him away come back for him?!”. Mom frowning immediately, “how do you know this? Honey?”.

Jazz gestures at the table and gets them to sit down, her following, “I know because he’s been explaining what happened. The conversation with, yes dad, the ghost who did that. They were protecting him from another ghost or ghosts”.

Mom frowning, “are you sure about that? That doesn’t make sense with ghosts, Jazz”; dad just looks concerned and confused. Which is actually good.

Jazz nodding immediately, “Phantom and that vampire ghost make it really obvious ghosts do weird things to spite each other. It’s not that weird. Plus-”, frowning, because this is when she should frown, “-they were, or are, his parent. The ghost left him there with the intent of us finding him, raising him, protecting him. Because they couldn’t anymore”. Are they going to misinterpret that? Yes. But starting with Danny being born from two ghosts was not a good idea. Let them think Danny’s parent died for now.

Mom looks genuinely sad, knitting her fingers together over her mouth, “I suppose if there’s one thing a parent would remember, even as an impression, it is to protect their child. Especially an infant. Or remember enough to do some ounce of good with their existence”.

Dad nodding readily, “perhaps they were so focused on him that it affected their ghost impression? A parent’s love is one of the strongest things there is after all!”. Jazz isn’t sold on that one, especially with how they’ve treated her and Danny. Dad humming, thinking, “so he was spirited away by a ghost, just away from other ghosts!”.

Mom looks at him fondly before eyeing Jazz, “it sounds like this ghost… still remembers him? And he’s sure about that?”.

Now that’s definitely something Danny’s better off trying to explain himself. “You should ask him that, the ghost doesn’t sound like a normal ghost, mom”. Jazz kinda wishes that didn’t get them more interested in this. “I’m just giving you guys a heads up that he knows he’s effectively adopted and he wants to talk about it but it’s very weird”.

Dad and mom exchanging looks before nodding at her. So she gets up to go get her brother… she hopes they don’t notice he looks a little different. Because that? She can’t explain in any way they’ll take well; especially when her own understanding of how and why that happened is so limited.

---

Danhy quirking an eyebrow at the door as Jazz sticks her head back in, “I’d say you’re good to go, you heard all of that?”.

“Yeah, way to confuse them. Now I have to definitely explain that they were ghosts before I was even a damn idea. Heck, I’m pretty sure ClockWork was born a ghost and just kinda popped into existence”.

Sam rolls her eyes, “gods”, but moves to shove Danhy out of the door. Tuck giving him a thumbs up, “we’ll be here, dude”. Jazz nodding, “I’ll be in my room while you guys have your talk, just, remember they have been parents to you”.

Danhy wincing and nodding as she walks off to her room, leaving him hovering at the top of the stairs a bit, not literally hovering at least. Okay so… for now he thinks he should at least try to leave out that his dad is the king of all ghosts and that his pops is a literal god. That might be too much and they might not even believe him, and Pariah didn’t exactly make a great first impression on anyone. Shaking his head and heading down, this was gonna suck.

Chap.4: Don’t You Want To See A Bit More Of A Better Me?

Danhy tilts sideways to have just his head in the kitchen, eyeing… Jack and Maddie at the table. They smile at him and pat him over, a good sign? Nice. Okay, Jazz’s plan hadn’t been totally shit. Swallowing a little and walking in, shit Jazz didn’t explain that he looked different at all did she? Well they hadn’t noticed more noticeable bullshit. Danhy’s gonna pretend he doesn’t look any different at all. Rubbing his neck as he sits down, “so. You guys adopted me from a random forest, huh?”.

Maddie laughs a little, “I doubt the forest was your parent, sweetie”.

… well at least being called ‘sweetie’ didn’t bother him, cool. So Danhy laughs too, “that would be very confusing”.

…

Jack sticks his arms out, apparently done with the silence, “so you got ghost family! You sure about that one? How?!”. Maddie nodding, “I’d like to know that too. What proof this ghost had”.

Okay. Suspicious but not too suspicious, he can deal with that. Danhy had been more suspect himself, “oh trust me I didn’t believe them at all at first even slightly and was trying to sneak over to something I could use to defend myself”.

“Atta boy!”, Jack smacks him on the shoulder, it hurt a lot less than it used to. Jack was never gonna get better with his strength, Danhy had to not copy that. “A Fenton by brith or not, you were still raised one! Ha!”.

Danhy can’t even say no to that, they did try to ‘make a Fenton’ of him for sure.

Maddie grinning and nodding, “good”, frowning a little, “you’ve always been strangely ghost friendly, so you can understand us being worried right?”, smiling and leaning over to ruffle his hair, “and you’re still our son, if you want to be”.

Danhy making a point not to cringe, that would just be mean and they wouldn’t understand currently or ever maybe, who knows. He’s trying to have this conversation not go to shit and cringing over being called ‘son’ was not the way to get what he wanted. “I mean, I definitely would like to still be family, but they’re definitely my parents?”. Wow he sucks at this.

It’s not remotely surprising they look a little hurt, Maddie frowning, “are… both ghosts? You want… ghosts as parents?”; he can see she’s struggling to not get upset with him. Jack frowning too, “so… not son?”; he looks like he might cry.

Damn it.

Danhy refuses to make Jack? Not-dad? Cry? Fuck he needs something to call them that isn’t just their names. Oh shit Jack’s gonna cry if he hears Danhy call Pariah ‘dad’. It feels way too right not to though? “I mean, yes? No? I’m still thinking on things I guess”, and rubs his neck; at least Jack brightens up a bit. Danhy eyeing Maddie, “definitely yes to them being my parents though, um, it’s not just because I don’t really agree with you guys about ghosts though”.

She sighs, nodding to herself before going back to watching him, “could you explain that then?”. And Jack starts muttering about ‘if this makes the ghosts his family too’ and what to do about that which is baffling to hear? What the hell? Even Maddie looks a little thrown.

Danhy shrugs exaggeratedly, “where to start?”, crap he’s not used to being honest with them, “um so, the reason I was in that forest was because my one parent was protecting me from other ghosts right? Well, that’s ’cause the- I wasn’t, like, a baby who’s parent died”, rolling his wrist awkwardly, “they were ghosts before I was born”.

Jack sputters, “that’s impossible”; Maddie’s just opening and closing her mouth. So Danhy kinda rushes to continue, “that’s kinda what I said”, how the actual shit is he supposed to explain this actually? Well… he could just give the explanation that was given to him? Was that basically telling them he was a ghost? Yeah pretty much. Was doing that kinda dumb? Definitely. Was it all he can think of? Yup. Rubbing his neck, “but like ghosts are mostly an unknown so it’s not that weird to run into something new right? They pretty much called me a ‘living ghost’? Ghost with a living human body that’s entirely theirs and stuff”. Danhy mildly wants to crawl in a hole. “And I can definitely feel that I’m related to them”, now he’s rambling, cool, “it’s like a fluffy safe connection? Yarn in my chest? It’s really hard to explain”, not to mention kinda embarrassing, “and yes I know for sure they didn’t, like, actually put anything in me or whatever. It’s feelings and stuff”. Ugh this sucks. “And I mean I’ve always been kinda weird, I know that. And maybe I should have mentioned a while ago I can understand ghost speak and sense ghosts? And is not exactly new news that all the anti-ghost stuff hurts me-”, he is talking himself into that hole he wanted to crawl into.

Maddie thankfully interrupts him, maybe picking up that he is officially panicking, this was supposed to be a calm! controlled! conversation! It wasn’t! Maddie patting his head, “hey woah, it’s okay. It’s not, but it’s okay”. Jack also scooting his chair closer to Danhy without being looming about it, Maddie taking a breath, “so what you’re saying is you’re not… really human but are? An alive ghost should just be a normal living creature but that can’t be the case if what you’re saying is true”.

Danhy can’t help glaring a little, “I’m positive it’s true”. If they don’t believe him or doubt everything that comes out of his mouth then this conversation is totally pointless and stupid and he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up at all.

Jack humming, tapping his chin before tilting his head at Danhy, “Where are you feeling all that confusing stuff?”.

“I was told in my core. Which, fine, I have basically no idea what that is”. Did ClockWork explain? Yes. Did that explanation make much sense? No.

They exchange a look, a look Danhy’s not sure if he likes or not. Maddie nodding and staring down at the table, “its something we’ve hypothesised ghosts having as the central part of their being”, her humming again and eyeing Danhy in that scientist way that he definitely doesn’t like; it takes a bit of effort to not shrink away.

Fuck it, Danhy’s calling them on it, he doesn’t want them thinking his okay with that, “don’t stare at me like I’m an experiment”, he cuts himself off from calling her ‘Maddie’ he’s not trying to hurt them. As it is she flinches, giving a quiet, “sorry, Danny”.

Jack looking between Danhy, who’s trying not to come off as angry, and Maddie, who’s glancing down at the table. Eyeing Danhy, “so you’re sure about this, kiddo?”.

Danhy winds up almost growling, okay so the more ghostly stuff about him is definitely more on the surface now or whatever, “yes”. It’s just questioning his parents, his real parents, about this just feels insulting. At least kiddo was fine with him though, it was less ‘your my child’ and more ‘you’re a child’.

Jack gestures a bit stiffly and not really looking at Danhy, “and it’s not from like, being influenced by being close to these ghosts?”. Maddie bitting her lip, “if ghosts were that influential, we’d have bigger problems. This is… still strange though”.

This is not going super great. He kinda doesn’t want to be here anymore. Now they’re talking like he’s not right here.

“It would make more sense for ghosts to steal a human and infect them over time to become ghostly”.

“A ghost fused into a human permanently maybe?”.

No. Danhy’s not dealing with this. Ugh.

“Cannibalism would make more sense than fusion, Jack”.

Nope. He’s out. He did not cannibalise anyone or thing, or fuse, or get corrupted, or whatever else. Pushing himself up.

“Danny?”.

“Danno?”.

Danny stuck his head up the stairs, “you guys can come down and deal with this shit! I’m going for a fucking walk!”. Why did he think this was going to be a good idea in the first fucking place? God damn. Stupid fucking ClockWork for encouraging this shit and his dumbass. He needs to get out.

Sam and Tuck pop their heads out before Jazz does. Tuck quirking an eyebrow at the annoyed to possibly pissed off sorta-halfa, “you good, man?”.

“I just need to not be here for a bit. I need out”.

The two get down lightning quick and basically block Maddie and Jack from trying to stop him. They’re still upset of course but whatever.

“Wait!! Danny why?!”.

Danhy rubbing his temples, “I’m not dealing with this, with you debating me commit freaking cannibalism like I’d ever do that even as a child, what the hell?! My days been weird enough”, and stalks out of the house, slamming the door.

Danhy can see through the window that Jazz has come down the stairs partly, her arms are crossed and she doesn’t look impressed. Him just able to hear Maddie, “it just don’t make any sense, Jazz!”.

…

Yeah okay that didn’t go well. At all. He kinda just wants to go home, the Keep home not FentonWorks. Or maybe he’ll stumble upon Boxy and kick his ass a little bit. Of course as soon as he thinks that, a ghost shows up, it’s just the FrightKnight though.

“I don’t know why you’re putting yourself through this”.

Danhy rolls his eyes at the ghost, not stopping his walking, hands in his pockets, “because I’m not an ass and they do actually deserve to know? Fuck you. They might be a little stupid and bigoted, but I didn’t see your sorry ass looking after baby me”. Granted he wouldn’t have know if the guy had been but Danhy seriously doubts it.

“Daniel”.

Danhy snapping his head to the side at Vlad, “not you too, fuck off. Also that’s not my name, you piss-ant”.

“I’m not the type to change, regardless of a name change”.

“Yeah I figured that, you moron. Wait how do you know that”.

Vlad looks unimpressed, “you know I’ve been bugging your house repeatedly, use your brain for once”.

Okay fine, Danhy should have seen that one coming, “jerk”.

“Know that you have finally succeeded in giving me the worst day of my life. You actually fouled my plan, sweet Maddie isn’t related to my preferred child, I can’t steal a kid from that psycho, you have that what was supposed to mine, and I’m absolutely going to take that out on you”.

Danhy grins, “wow, thanks for actually cheering me up, fruitloop”. Vlad shoots him with an ecto-beam immediately.

The FrightKnight just stands on the sidewalk watching the two sorta rivals beat the shit out of each other. Phantom lets himself get thrown into a wall, like he wants to feel pain which was actually the case a little. Plasmius gets punched in the face and looked a little worried about that.

The FrightKnight is just pleased that Phantom is clearly stronger. He’d been confused and maybe worried about his kings child being so weak, looks like that was for nothing. There’s a small explosion, Phantom doesn’t take any damage; good. Even if the child does get ganged up on by duplicates, he just starts grabbing their feet and smacking them at stuff. Phantom hasn’t even changed forms, almost impressive; not that The FrightKnight is so easily impressed.

“Why are you even trying in that form, boy?”.

“Because I’m not dealing with you mocking me for having a cape now, shut up”. The boy digs in the trash pulls out sauce packets and starts throwing them at Plasmius angrily.

They explode.

Sometimes the FrightKnight believes this town would make good horror material. An entire town happily eating highly explosive sauce was inspired and vaguely insane. At least his majesty would be pleased to hear that one of the first things his son did was torment the one whom was foolish enough to try and steal from the crown high king.

Plasmius does flea after that, in a very annoyed manner. Phantom still attempting to pelt him with things from the ground, the boy setting down a bench he’d debated on throwing; the FrightKnight approaching, “you done”.

“Piss off, oh my Zone”, the boy huffing and glancing around, “I’m surprised no one noticed that shit”, and rolls his shoulders out.

… has he really not noticed? Sigh. This child was going to be the end of him. “This place is your domain, your more direct lair, yours, you didn’t want to be noticed so you were not”.

“That’s worrying”.

The FrightKnight still does not understand this child in the slightest.

By the time Danhy decides to go back to FentonWorks he’s more or less worked through the fact that he apparently unknowingly has control or influence over the town, which Frighty thinks is a good thing, and has decided to just shove it up on that mental shelf he’s got going. That thing was going to give out eventually and it would not be pretty. Oh well. It’s not collapsing right now, is it. Later him’s issue.

Danhy pointing at the ghost, “stay put, seriously”, and grumbling at the ghost seemingly disappearing into Danhy’s shadow, before pushing his way back into the house. He probably looked like shit.

He did look like shit.

Tuck raises an eyebrow, “dude, what the hell kind of walk did you go on?”. Sam shaking her head, “really? Danny?”.

Jack’s looking at him awkwardly while Maddie worries her hands, “you okay, sweetie?”.

Danhy grumbles, “got attacked by a dog, it was a very stupid walk. I’m fine, but possibly more annoyed than before”, meaning: ghost picked a fight. Sam and Tuck sigh at him. Jack and Maddie wincing in unison.

The grown ups exchanging looks before both look back to him, oh Zone, what now? He only came back because he wound up walking into a pole and just gave up on the whole relaxing walk thing. Jack grinning in that nervous but trying to not seem nervous kind of way, “so we’ve decided it doesn’t really matter how you are they way you are, we know you and raised you, you’re you and you’re family”, the smile looking more real, “can I please still call you son?”.

“Oh my Zone, dad! What did I say about that?”, Jazz pops out from the kitchen.

Danhy has no clue what she’s talking about, “Jazz… what did you talk about?”. She looks smug, “just that mom and dad calling you ‘son’ would piss the possessive ghosts off and that would make you sad because you don’t want any fighting, nothing much”.

Danhy should have thought of that himself, damn. Because yeah that wasn’t even a lie, Pariah would fight them… ClockWork maybe not, they seem more the pranking type. Danhy rubbing his neck, “okay, yeah. That’s true”, rubbing his neck, “at least one of them would definitely throw hands, which I think I got them agree to not do just because someone calls me ‘Daniel’”.

Sam nodding at him, crossing her arms at his… uh he still doesn’t have a word and he’s frankly still too annoyed to come up with one. “They renamed him Danhy, with an H”. The goth relaxes at Maddie actually smiling at her over that, “yeah, guess Daniel never really fit”.

Danhy shrugs, “I don’t know if it’s because my, well actual, parents weren’t the ones who gave it to me or not”, and shrugs again, more apologetically this time.

Jack rubs his neck, which Danhy guess is something he picked up from him, “the connection yeah? Speaking of that, if you can sense ghosts, did you sense them and that’s why you went outside the shield? That was very dangerous!”, and laughs a little. Maddie nodding readily, frown at Danhy, “you worried us a lot with that stunt”.

Danny moved to the couch flopping down, Tuck giving him a thumbs up, “well if you’re done being dramatic, which I definitely know where you got that from now, me and Sam should probably check in with our own folks”. Danhy waves them off, “hey, I’ve got nothing on, uh, dad?”. Oh zone yeah Jack looks a little crushed, oof.

Danhy rubbing his neck very awkwardly at that as the door opens and shuts, “sorry? Um, the term really fits him okay and feels, like, super right? Sorry”.

The man pouts, “can I at least be uncle?”.

Damn it. Now Danhy feels like an asshole for something he kinda can’t help. Shit. “Of course! If that’s okay? Father’s kinda too stuffy for me to use for anyone”, tilting his head and looking up at the ceiling, “I guess faðir fits him the same but I think that’s dad in Viking or whatever”. Still weird he knew another language just randomly. Looking back to his.. uncle? Vlad was gonna be pissed. “And yeah they sense differently to me, not that I knew why at the time”. Danhy had thought it was just because both of them were stupidly powerful, far more than any other ghost he’d ever met before. But nope! They were surprise parents!

Jack grins, “it’s not as good as dad, but I’ll take it. And Viking language?”. Maddie nodding, “aunty is okay, I agree it’s not great but it’s better than you calling me ‘Maddie’, mister. Still not impressed you went to check out random ghosts on a whim without telling us, even if I know you’re a curious kid”; somehow that was both fond and scolding. Ugh.

Yeah even Danhy would feel like an ass just using their names to their faces, but the auntie and uncle thing was probably just going to be an ‘around them’ thing. He’s been calling them by their names for years with his friends and as Phantom. “to be fair everything was a little crazy and you guys had a lot on your hands”, eyeing Jack, “and yeah, one of them is a Viking and somehow actually taller than you; which explains why your height has never ever bothered me”.

Jack laughs at that, “true! Even Jazzy has moments being bothered by that! Never you though!”.

Maddie gives Jack a fond look, which Danhy can understand, he pretty much never met people taller than him or people who were used to people that were as tall as him; now he’s got a sorta nephew? who’s just naturally cool with huge ass people. Maddie looking back to Danhy, “I don’t care how ‘busy’ we were, you kids are important”.

Jazz grumbling, “you don’t show it often”, before getting up and moving back towards the kitchen, “I’m going to get tea, considering this was supposed to be a more personal conversation”; Danhy rolls his eyes at her.

Maddie and Jack nodding at her but Jack’s still focuses on Danhy, “though question, why were you unconscious when V-man found you? If you were just, meeting, ugh, ghosts that were basically, uh, family to you?”, and tilts his head.

Shit okay... well Danhy could just be honest again. Because well, he did basically pass out on DarkDaddy’s lap right after the whole establishing a proper connection thing. “Oh, uh, pops kinda put this seal thingy on me to hide me and it broke when I met them again, passed out”, rolling his eyes, “it wasn’t anything bad”. Granted he’d also been exhausted from using that stupid suit and basically fighting an army and mock fighting -even if he didn’t know it was a mock fight at the time- his dad. So like, it definitely wasn’t just the bond, heck it might not have even been that at all. Danhy’s had a fucking day, multiple days.

Maddie blinks, “wait, are both of them guys?”, and shakes her head to herself before talking to him again, “I suppose that’s not too bad then, so long as this bond and broken seal isn’t hurting you”.

Danhy shaking his head immediately, “they are, ones more genderless though. And no, don’t worry about the seal or bind thing-”. Jazz butting in, like he knew she would if she was around for all of this conversation shit, ugh, “outside of the fact that the seal was tramping down on some more ghostly behaviours and appearance”, and gives Danhy a bit of a ‘tell them, idiot’ look. Which fair, again, the more he gets out now the less he’ll have to re-explain himself later. Her comment of course results in them squinting at him, looking for changes.

Danhy isn’t sure if he should be happy or disappointed or annoyed or just amused when it takes them a while to actually comment on a difference. Man, they could be so oblivious. Maddie humming, “your eyes do look a little different”, which she doesn’t sound happy about, “other than that all I can tell is your hair’s messier”. Then Jack goes wide-eyed and is practically vibrating in joy, “you! Have stubble! You’re becoming a man! Yes!”; and does a silly jig. Danhy buries his head in his hands in embarrassment, yes he was happy too but the jig is just too much. Jack wiping a tear from his eye, “I can finally teach my boy how to shave”.

Danhy doesn’t have the heart to even be mad about the ‘my boy’ thing. Besides, Vlad says that shit constantly, so it was a little less annoying somehow... heck Danhy’s pretty sure Lancer’s called him ‘‘my boy’ before?

Jack rounding on him, “you will let me teach you, right?”, and gives Danhy a pouty puppy dog look. Maddie looks like she’s has no clue if that’s a good idea or not.

Does ClockWork know how to? Obviously. Pariah? Maybe? Do either of them ever shave? What no of course not! They’re ghosts. Honestly Danhy probably actually doesn’t need to either, it’ll grow to whatever length it’s supposed to be and then just stop. But, even if he’s still slightly annoyed he’s not going to say no to the man just because he might not need too. Though there’s also the chance that even if he does shave the hair/stubble will just insta grow back. Cool, since no one -Dash- can prank him then. Jazz’s glare also screams ‘say yes or else’. Danhy smiling at his kinda uncle, “I wouldn’t dream of saying no, uh, uncle”; man that was going to take some getting used to. It didn’t come naturally like with his dad and pops. Jack cheers and continues with the jig, Jack teaching him was gonna be so embarrassing, wasn’t it? What has Danhy singed himself up for?

Maddie shakes her head at the man, “I doubt some ghosts would know how”, then eyeing Danhy, “are you… going to stick with considering yourself a ghost?”.

Jazz slipping back further into the kitchen with a sigh, Danhy frowning some, “it’s more of a both thing. I’m still alive, human, obviously. But also, all ghost too”.

Jack glances around, “a new term would be better though right? Like, not ‘ghost’, something else”, trying to sound excited, “we could totally come up with something cool sounding!”.

Oh zone no, sure there was another term for what he was but he was still a ghost. Danhy crossing his arms, “no. I’m a weird ghost but I’m a ghost. I’m not a one hundred percent different freaking species than my parents”. In what world would it not be stupid and mean to reject his actual parents species??? One that he’s definitely part of??? Especially since he knows this shit was just Jack’s goddamn bigotry. Fuck, technically the ghost species had more claim to him than the human one since he was actually related to ghosts and not to humans; even if he did grow up basically human and surrounded by humans. “And I’m absolutely letting them teach me about ghosts, what they think of them”; the ‘and humans’ goes left unsaid but it’s pretty fucking heavily implied. Jack and Maddie look less than pleased, no surprise there; since that obviously meant Danhy was never going to ‘fall in line’ with their bigotry crap. Plus they probably also thought that his parents were going to try and fill his head with anti-living shit; since the two ghost hunters were so sure about ghosts hating and wishing harm on the living and shit.

Maddie frowning, “that’s not a good idea-”.

Danhy scowling, “I don’t care or agree”.

The three of them all just kinda stare at each other for a bit then Jazz shouts, “guys! The casserole is alive! Or dead and walking!”. Danhy wheezing into a hand and losing almost all his tension, as Jack and Maddie run off into the kitchen to wrangle the sentient food.

Danhy getting up to stare at the thing snarling in the net, “remind me again why you guys keep leaving food next to samples?”.

“Convenience! Danny-boy!”. Jack’s cheer is a little forced but it’s still there.

Maddie smiles a little before humming and eyeing Danhy, Jack taking the net away as she gives him an actual answer, “though there did used to be an actual reason”. Jazz looks shocked, “since when!?!”. Maddie waves her off kindly, “I used to experiment with cooking with it, dear”.

“Why?!?”.

Even Danhy makes a face, “I second the why”, sure he can eat ecto, it even tasted pretty good and tingly to him, but still. He wasn’t interested in trying to eat something that could run away from or stab him; and he’s fairly sure you can’t cook with ecto without that happening.

She frowns a little, a bit awkward, “because of you actually, which in retrospect should have been a little more concerning”.

Great now they’re confusing him too, “oh?”. Why were they trying to cook him ecto food, like yes they fed him just plain ecto more than once but how was food cooked with ecto any better of an ‘experiment’. Jazz still looks baffled and annoyed.

Maddie hums, “when we first brought you home you constantly kept getting into the samples and consuming them”. Jack popping back in, “oh yeah I remember that! You made a lot of messes, a very messy baby”. It is goddamn impossible not to blush at that, this is not what he wants to hear about. Jack continuing, “we just figured you got, like, super contaminated from being spirited away that you were addicted, like a crack baby or something”.

Jazz face palms, “guys, ectoplasm crack baby is a completely insane thesis. Completely. Insane”. Danhy sticking up a finger, “Jazz, that’s probably legit though. Like it makes sense, I probably need the ecto”. He was literally a full ghost, although maybe the full human thing cancelled that shit out? Fuck if he knows and Clockpops would definitely not give him a straight answer purely to be confusing. Would also more explain sticking a sorta ghost with freaking ghost hunters. Blinking and looking at Maddie, “so making me eating and gargling ectoplasm and sh-stuff wasn’t just you guys being kinda immoral scientists?”.

Jack rubs his neck, “I mean, we were definitely curious what would happen?”.

“That is stupid, full offence”, shaking his head a little, “no wonder that whole weird ecto-contamination thing was so easily accepted, geez”.

Maddie ruffles his hair stiffly some, which he glares at her hand over, especially cause she almost seemed like she wasn’t sure if she wanted to touch him at all; he absolutely noticed her glancing between her gloves and his hair. Maddie nodding, “it wasn’t really surprising a massive dose of ectoplasm would make the way you were already, worse”, frowning and humming, “now I’m not so sure. And your hair is definitely different”.

“It’s fine. I’m fine; that basically just weakened the seal some”, shrugging, “and like with that whole contamination thing, I’m basically just being open with this whole child of ghosts thing. You know, at school and stuff”. Danhy can’t be assed to try and keep yet another secret, especially when not keeping this one could help him keep the far more important one. That whole ‘weird ecto-contamination’ was only going to go so damn far. Being weird, creepy, eye fashes, and whatnot could apparently be shrugged off, but inhuman strength and like actually looking more ghost-like was pushing it.

Maddie nodding, “if that’s what you want, Danny. Even if I don’t really like you… ‘owning’ this ghost idea”, shaking her head a little, “we’re going to get some strange calls then”.

She clearly still didn’t buy him seeing himself as a ghost, but there was legit no point fighting her on it. “So same ol’ same ol’?”.

Jack laughs loudly, smacking Danhy on the back, which he doesn’t nearly fall over from, “true!”... “so feel like trying to shave?”.

Danhy snorts, figures, “sure, uncle, sure”; he ignores the slight hurt look with Jack basically pulling him up strairs.

Is Danny surprised they never asked to ‘met’ his actual parents? Zone no. They were ghosts, of course they didn’t want to play friendly with them. That was probably for the best though, since both of his parents were a bit much and Jack and Maddie definitely will remember Pariah, considering what just happened.

Maddie shakes her head, frowning a little as the two boys disappear into the bathroom. Jazz walking up next to her, “if you guys mess this up I’m going to be pissed”.

“I know. It’ll just be, a bit hard”.

“Of course, but you can work through it. Let him be accepting of himself even if you don’t agree, or else. And if the ghosts mess up, we’ll beat the zone out of them, I’ll get the creep stick”.

“Absolutely, honey”. Jazz nodding and moving to go check on the two boys. Maddie frowning after a bit, “those ghosts… they’re going to completely corrupt him, aren’t they?”, and sighs, “all I can do is try to minimise the damage”.

Danhy does stay the night at FentonWorks, he was pretty positive that if he didn’t it would completely destroy whatever relationship he had with Jack and Maddie; even if he absolutely was paranoid they’d do something in his sleep. Though with it feeling like Frighty definitely was still chilling in his shadow he wasn’t really worried, weird that the ghost could do that but that’s probably what made him acceptable as a guard or whatever.

Either way breakfast is awkward. Danhy’d bet money there’s ectoplasm in his morning cereal, which Maddie made for him for the first time in a while; he already knows his bet’s a winner since he can fucking taste it… it is a very good thing he actually likes ecto, damn. Jack’s reading the paper, Jazz has already run off to help some teacher set some whatever up, and Maddie’s staring at her coffee. Like he said, awkward. If he was at the Keep dad would probably be looming over him still adjusting to the fact that Danhy’s not dead dead, and pops would be pretending to answer Danhy’s question by giving non-answers; maybe they’d both be working, which is probably what they’re doing now. Is it wrong of him to rather be there than here? And not just because there physically felt like home in a ghostly way.

… Maybe Maddie’s waiting to see if he’ll comment on the ectoplasm? Or maybe trying to work up the balls to ask him if he preferred it with ecto or not? That was probably being a little hopeful of him, it was more likely that she just didn’t know what to say to the literal ghost in the room. Swallowing more cereal, “so”. Maddie jerks. “Any problems with me going to school today?”. If she wants him to stay home for ‘tests’ then he’s fucking done. He’s leaving and not coming back.

She breathes a little before shaking her head and giving him a sorta smile, “no. You seem fine and still don’t really look different”. Jack looking away from the paper to give Danhy a bit of a shove, “you’re not getting out of school that easy, Danno”. Danhy pouting, pretending that was why he asked that. Jack chuckles at him, while Danhy goes about finishing his cereal.

Danhy’s not really surprised when they basically push him out the front door with very firm ‘stay in school’s, which fine he’s earned but still. Ugh. Eyeing his bedroom window from the street… he doesn’t really trust them to just do their usual, to leave his room and whatnot alone. Humming to himself, glancing at his shadow, “can I totally have someone or something keep watch here in case they do something fucking dumb?”.

The rumbled, “of course, my prince”, isn’t even remotely surprising. The little purple fire bats disappearing into his bedroom window isn’t quite what Danhy was going for but guesses he couldn’t get rid of his little babysitter that easily. “They are fools if they dare do wrong by you. Mortal’s are horribly ill-informed”.

Danhy shrugging as he begins his walk, that becomes a fly as soon as he’s out of sight of FentonWorks, “I know. It’s a pain but whatever. And I guess I get the joy of being the ghost royal, still weird, with contact and influence and shit here”.

The FrightKnight takes a bit to respond, “I suppose there’s some added power in such a thing. Power you should prove, your subjects should kneel, use your fangs on those who don’t deserve your grace”.

Danhy stomps on his shadow as he lands by the school, even if that probably did nothing to the jerk ghost, “I’m not a killer, you dick. Dad might have gone all mass murder genocide shit but I’m not him”.

… “Ancient ClockWork has ended far more, entire timelines of existence”.

Okay Danhy’s not sure what to make of that one. “And I’m not them either, wow”. Congrats self! Your lineage is super fucking murdery! Yay! Another thing for the mental self! Those Observant guys were probably worried their kid would be like them or something, or just hated the idea of a prince, or the alive and dead thing, or were just assholes. Or option D: All of the above!

Is Danhy gonna have to watch himself for murdery desires? Cool. Great. Not loving that thought. Might be part of why he’s such a combative motherfucker though, he liked shit kicking and liked getting shit kicked to a degree.

A huntress frowns at Danhy’s bedroom door, walking in, “I need to at least know how strong these ghosts are, where they are, if we can deal with them”; and begins moving to shove little tracker beads in his shoes.

“I wouldn’t do that, if you want to keep any connection to him”.

She jumps, whirling towards Danhy’s bed, tensing, “how did you get here, ghost”, frowning, “what did you do to the security system”. Neither are questions.

“Ghost. God. Not so separate things. Security that works today once did not exist to function at all. The security right now is that of yesteryears. I can be anywhere, any-when, I desire to be”, a clock-themed ghost seems to clean their staff, barely paying any mind to the huntress.

The huntress balls her fist, “you’re one of the ones claiming to be related to him, aren’t you”.

“Hmmm. Reality and claims aren’t the same thing, I reside within the former alone. Whereas all you have in your grasp is claims”.

“Why did you leave him to us”.

“I desire not to see my child bleeding out in front of me. He is yet mortal, forgive me if I am well too aware how fragile mortals are sometimes. I am fine being the Prometheus to the Observants standing as a version of Zeus, but I have no tolerance for their punishments; I reject death, in the true sense, as his fate”.

“And his… other parent?”.

“The representation of death itself has no reason to allow a death that is unwelcome. Whether by his own choice, or another’s choice for him and in his place”.

A few small bats of purple flames squeaking from a corner of the room, blinking glowing red eyes at the huntress as she slowly turns her head to look to the sound.

“I’d take your creations with you when you leave, before smaller hands grab them up to show off your betrayal to younger minds”.

Danhy shoving the school doors open, waving at Sam and Tuck immediately.

Tuck grinning, “dude, I’m shocked they didn’t try to keep you home!”.

Danhy laughing, “same! Anyway wanna watch me freak Lance out? I figured I should be nice and give him a heads up”.

Sam rolling her eyes, “by ‘nice’, you mean terrorise him personally”. Danhy grins devilishly. “Really doing your parents proud, there”.

The FrughrKnoghr adding his two cents, “he should be feared”.

“Dude, if you talk my ear off all day I’m gonna lose my shit”.

Sam and Tuck snapping their heads down to Danhy’s feet. Tuck blinking, “bring your ghost to school day?”. Sam smirking, “we should make that an actual thing”.

“Sam that is a terrible idea, oh my zone”, Danhy shakes his head but starts walking off to Lancer’s little office. All three of them sticking their heads inside, Lancer spotting them and quirking an eyebrow.

Sam and Tuck gesturing ridiculously at Danhy, “we present to you the problem child, turns out he was born in another dimension, have fun”; they promptly ditch his ass, jerks.

Lancer looks very worried, Danhy facepalming, groaning, “guuuuuys, you dicks”.

“Language, Daniel, but yes, that was very confusing”.

Danhy’s shadow/the FrightKnight scoffs. At least he doesn’t try ‘to smite’ his teacher. Danhy holding up a finger, “okay first, my name is actually not Daniel and second, I’m adopted”.

Lancer sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “do you have proof, Daniel, because name changes are a legal issue and will need to be updated in the school files if you’re actually being serious”.

Oh shit, yeah. Wait, did Jack and Maddie even legally adopt him at all???? It really doesn’t sound like it. “I was apparently found in a random forest, I might not actually have been adopted legally, I didn’t think to ask”.

“You… didn’t think to ask?”; Lance looks very disappointed in him and reaches for the phone, “I’m calling home”.

Danhy shrugging and just moving to sit down in a chair, his first class was home ec anyways which he was banned from cooking in due to incidences with sentient food. “That’s fair. The other dimension thing was not a joke, by the by”.

Lance’s less than impressed, but doesn’t get to respond as Maddie’s picked up, “Danny told you?”.

Lancer’s sigh is tired, “so I’m not being pranked”, eyeing Danhy, “I know you and your ways”. Danhy whistles, playing at being a sweet innocent angel. Lancer returning his attention to the phone, “though he doesn’t seem to know if he has legal proof”.

Things being up to legal human standards wasn’t exactly where his focus was, okay? He had other shit to think about and deal with. At least his ghost ears made it easy to hear Maddie.

“We… don’t actually have legal papers for him”.

Lancer blinks, “what”.

Oh wow, Danhy should have figured this. When had they ever been fully law following? They drove a modified mini military vehicle for fucks sake; he’s pretty sure they didn’t get that legally either.

“He is telling the truth, though. Even if I don’t know what in all he has told you. We hadn’t intended to adopt some ghosts child but apparently we’ve missed a few things with our general research”.

She… totally doesn’t realise he can hear her, does she? At least she sounds more awkward and concerned than scientific or cold.

Lancer puts his head in his hand, sighing loudly, “alright, I’ll let you go then”.

“Oh no problem, Mr. Lancer. It’s better he explains things anyways”.

Lancer stares at the phone for a beat when she hangs up, looking at Danhy, “are things alright with them?”.

Danhy shrugs awkwardly, “it’s weird, I guess”.

Lancer frowns at that, “and this ‘different’ dimension is where all the ghosts are from? The ghost zone?”; him leaning forward on his elbows.

Danhy rubs his neck, “got it in one”, shrugging, “my, you know, actual parents showed up during that invasion thing. I am apparently a human ghost, do not question it, it’s weird and according to them an ‘affront to nature’ and ‘defiling life’, which was kinda the goal”.

… “your parents called you an affront to nature?”.

“I have really weird luck with parental figures”. Or attempted parental figures, in Vlad’s case.

Lancer sighs yet again, “alright. I’m to assume this, and not the ecto-contamination, is why you’re a bit different from your peers?”.

“It’s kinda impossible for a ghost to have ecto-contamination, Lance. So yeah. Pretty much. I’m still, like, alive though. Hence the defiling life thing”.

Lancer rubs his temples, whispering to himself, “my favourite student is a paradox, figures”, then looking up at Danhy, “and that won’t be a problem? For you, here or at home? What’s going on with your living situation? I’ll be very sad if you’re pulling out of schooling”.

Danhy holds up his hands, “no, no, I might not love school but I plan to see it through, no worries. So long as the government doesn’t try to, like, abduct me or something”. Oh Danhy hasn’t even remotely mentally addressed that shit. He probably maybe doesn’t have human rights in any shape, way, or form now. Especially if he was not even legally a citizen, what the Hell. Blinking, “you know, I’m probably an illegal Immigrant. Should probably do something about that”.

Lancer’s looking at him like he’s giving the guy an aneurism, “I’m sure I could help with that if need be”.

“Lance, I’m pretty sure there is no way for someone from another realm to get legal citizenship anywhere”. Either Jack and Maddie or him will have to go commit crimes; unless they did actually have citizenship for him… and maybe forged birth records. “They probably do have papers for me, just forged ones”.

Lancer nods acceptingly, tired, but accepting, “and how are they being at home?”.

Lance ain’t gonna drop that, is he? Eh, understandable. “Um, we kinda agreed they’re more aunt and uncle now, ‘cause my parents are definitely my parents. Weird ghost connection thing, don’t ask. And I have no clue with the ‘living situation’ thing”, and shrugs. Like he absolutely wasn’t leaving Amity but he also definitely was going to be at the Keep a lot of the time, he can’t just not stay at FentonWorks either though. Ugh.

“Well as much as I believe a child should live with their parents, I do not believe that would be in your best interests, at least not permanent residence there. Especially as I doubt the school could send your report cards to another realm, physically or online. I also don’t feel comfortable listing a ghost or ghosts as your emergency contacts”. Okay that would be a horrible nightmare, calling in a freaking warlord god king or literal time god because Danhy started another food fight, would not go over well with anyone. Lancer continuing, “now, are you going to need any accommodations? Whether because of home environment or species?”.

Okay, Lancer is baffling him a little with how okay he is with this shit. “You are weirdly good at taking things in stride, you know that right?”, Danhy shaking his head at the smile, “I don’t think so? I’ve always been weird so. Just maybe change my name on the records, my parents really don’t like anyone calling me by a name that they didn’t give me or I didn’t give myself or whatever. Nicknames and shit”.

Lancer nodding and writing that down, “what should it be changed to?”.

“What? Oh, uh, Danhy with an h; it’s Norse. Dad’s a Viking I think”.

“It’s good that’s similar, easier adjustment. One that will still take time of course”.

“Yeah I expected that, I did tell him not to smite you or whatever”.

“That’s… appreciated, Danie-Danhy. Are you remaining a Fenton, though?”.

Now that Danhy’s really not sure about. Obviously he has to have a last name ‘as a human’, but calling himself Danhy Fenton felt a little insulting towards his own actual parents. Sure he was still ‘a Fenton’ cause that was more a ‘part of the family’ thing; like Sam and Tuck were ‘honorary Fenton’s’. “I have no idea”.

Lancer nods, “no pressure, I doubt the system will let you not have a last name though. I’ll look into it, your parents aren’t going to assault anyone for using it?”.

“Maybe”. Danhy’s barely resisting snickering at that, was that a little mean? Yes. “My sorta body guard will probably glare at them though”.

“Body guard?”.

Danhy pointing down at his shadow, at least all Frighty does is makes his eyes visible. Lancer jerking a little, going wide-eyed, “is there a ghost in your shadow”; he looks very done with Danhy.

Danhy giving a cheery, “yup!”, then standing up and stretching, “some ghosts were trying to murder me as a baby, hence why I wound in a forest in this realm, or whatever. And pops might have not told dad I wasn’t dead dead, so a little over protective now”.

Lancer shakes his head disbelievingly, “I suppose I can understand that”, eyeing Danhy’s shadow, “is the ghost going to behave itself?”.

“Hopefully?”, Danhy looks down at his shadow/The FrightKnight, “be a good doggie”. He can absolutely feel the glare and scowl.

Lancer actually smiles a little at that before shooing Danhy off, “you have classes to go to, are you alright with me informing your other teachers of this?”.

Danhy gives him a thumbs up as he heads out the door, “that’s kinda the point, I can’t be arsed to keep this to myself”.

“Language”.

Has Danhy missed all of his home ec class? Of course, sure he could maybe hit up the last few minutes but naw; why bother. Instead he’s just gonna be lazy and wander off to math, even if that was a stupid subject. Basically no one was going to use that shit outside of class. In fact Danhy’s so lazy about it that he actually winds up late, because of course.

Ms. Emily sighing at him, pointing to his desk without even bothering to give him shit. Danhy shakes his head though, this class has, like half, of the A-listers so it was perfect for the gossip mill. “Naw, I have a speech to give”.

Todd snorting, “if it’s an apology on behalf of your parents, shove it”.

“Todd”.

Todd rolls his eyes at her.

Danhy waves a hand around, “kinda, different parents though”. Nice. Now he’s got everyone’s confused attention, pointing at Dash, “turns out I’m adopted, I’m not a Fenton, my parents are ghosts. I am still alive, don’t worry. I am also dead, so worry. That is all”, and Danhy sits his ass down, smirking the whole time; the teacher is glaring at him.

Dash spins around in his chair, glaring at Danhy, “well what’s your actual last name if you’re not a Fenton?”.

Danhy rolling his eyes, “of course that’s what you care about. Ghosts don’t have last names, Dash”. Sure Ember did but that was kinda all that he knew of… well Pariah did have the whole ‘dark’ thing, which might? be a last name? maybe?

“I need something to work with, Fen-“, Dash cutting himself off then gesturing wildly at Danhy.

Then someone finally actually shouts at him, “what the hell! What do you even mean?!”. Which opens the floodgates apparently.

“Are you trying to say you’re a ghost?”.

“Of course the Fenton’s would steal a ghosts child! wait! Ghosts can have kids?!?!”.

“It sounded more like being that box cat thing?”.

“No wonder you’re a weirdo! Ha!”.

“What is YOUR LAST NAME!”.

“How the hell was that an apology from any parents?”.

“So just how wrong are the Fenton’s about ghosts?”.

“Is this why you have that dangerous aura around you!”.

“Are you leaving Amity for death land then?”.

“Is Jazz stolen from ghosts too then? Do the Fentons’s even have actual kids?!?”.

“Are your parents as pathetic as you?”.

“Everyone quiet down”, Ms. Emily standing up, “I have a class to teach, save this for after class”, sighing, “you know what you did, Danny, but for once I’ll let you off the hook”.

Danhy snorting, speaking very sarcastically, “gEe, ThAnKs. HoW vErY nIcE oF yOu”. Danhy standing up, “but I have the masses to appease”, looking at everyone before she can kick him out, “one, I mean what I mean. I’m ghost, hence the dead aura, and living person and my parents are ghosts and while my adoption has no legal standing or whatever at least one of my actual parents approved it”, shrugging, “sure the other never knew and may have gone into a murderous fit of rage thinking I’d been offed, but eh. And no, you’re not getting rid of me that easily”, holding up a finger, “Jazz is their, the Fenton’s, bio kid though”.

Dash is not done with him apparently, “does she still call your brother or can I finally get with that?”.

Danhy gapes at him, what the fuck dude. Ew! “You said the quiet part out loud, what the Hell Dash”.

“I said what I said, loser. She hot”.

“Oh my Zone! Ew!”, Danhy shakes his head, “no. I’m still her brother, keep your hands to yourself, I will hit you with a baseball bat too”.

“I’d like to see you try!”.

James muttering, “what does he mean ‘too’?”.

“Do not temp me, I also can and will sic a ghost on you”; if Danhy’s going to have Frighty harass anyone, it’s gonna be Dash. “And dude, I think ‘Dark’ might be a last name but don’t quote me, you idiot”.

“Whatever, Darkie. Ha! Guess I know why your friends with a goth weirdo now”.

Danhy stares at him, Casey hits Dash with a pencil for him though, “that is a slur!”. Danhy facepalms, “if you want to get kicked off of the football team, go right ahead, Dash”.

“I did not know that!”, Dash makes a few faces, “dank? Dunk? Daftpunk?”, he scowls, “Fenton is a better last name”.

“I’m not sticking to Fenton just because you find it easier to make up insulting names with!”.

“Whatever, Darkside”.

Danhy blinks, wasn’t Darkside, like, a tyrannical god king? That was trying to eliminate hope and free will? Sure at least his dad had, like, a legit reason, but still. “Dash, my dad kinda is a real life Darkside; that’s more accurate family descriptor than insult”.

Todd snorting, “so that’s what you meant by ‘went a little murdery’”.

Ah fuck it, whatever. Shrugging, “I mean, he did just abduct the entire town so, yeah”.

“Is that why we all just suddenly were back in our world?!? Because he found his damn kid!”.

“How do you cause so many problems!”.

“Your dad is giant?!?”.

“Didn’t he have a fucking skeleton army?”.

“How are both your dads massive men!”.

“Did the town get abducted because you’re here? Or was that just a really suspicious coincidence?”.

Ms. Emily snapping, “that’s enough!”, pointing at Danhy, “you! Out!”.

Danhy puts up his hands in surrender, “the people want what they, and they don’t want math, Ms. Emily. That’s hardly my fault”, moving towards the door as she points to it, him looking at everyone though, “he wasn’t here because of me but he did leave because of me!”; and slips outside.

Nice.

No math class for him.

Danhy chuckling to himself, “well that was fun”; he hadn’t really meant to reveal his dad was the guy that just abducted them but that ‘Darkside’ comment was just too good to resist. Should he just start popping into random classroom doing that? He’ll definitely get detention doing that shit. Doesn’t stop him from being tempted though.

Then Kwan pops out of a classroom, a teacher clearly yelling at him, “sit back down!”. Kwan looking right at Danhy, “is your dad a warlord ghost! Dude that is awesome! Why are you so small then!”.

Danhy blinks at the guy before laughing, smooth Dash, smooth. Danhy giving a thumbs up, “yup! And shut up, I just haven’t hit a grow spurt yet, you jerk”. Kwan laughs but gets knocked over by pretty much a whole class crowding the doorway.

“Did I hear that right?!?”.

“Way to get weirder! Holy shit!”.

“If your parents are ghosts how old are they!”.

“Isn’t time weird in the zone? Or something? How old are you?”.

“How the hell are you alive if you’re dead!”.

“How do ghosts have babies?”.

“Did ghosts intentionally have a freaking human child? Who does that!”.

“Is your dad gonna try and enslave us again?!?”.

“Wait if your dad’s a war lord then what the hell is your mom!”.

“How pissed are the Fenton’s!”.

“Are they gonna fight these ghosts!”.

“Why are you even still here if you’re a ghost!”.

Oh wow this is hilarious, all the shouting is basically melding into one mess of noise. Danhy kinda doesn’t want to deal with it actually; it was like getting fan girl mobbed as Phantom… putting up his hands, “heh”, chuckling, “I’m not a ghost, I’m alive. I’m not alive, I’m a ghost. I didn’t ask how they had a child! Ew! And one of them might be older than humanity, maybe”, smirking at Kyle, “and no mom, other be genderless, fuck the gender spectrum”.

Kyle cheers, “wooo! Hell yeah!”. While their teacher hurls an eraser out of the doorway at Danhy, “sit! Back! Down! And you! LEAVE! You menace!”.

some of the teens scurry back as they’re told, Danhy standing on his tippy toes to eye the pissed teacher, “you know that’s probably bigoted to say to me, considering what gets shouted at ghosts all the time”. Basically half the class turns on the teacher shouting, “yeah!”. But the teacher stomps over to the door, gets the remaining teens in and slams the door hard.

The FrightKnight hums from Danhy’s shadow, “seems you’re more a ghost than I may have previously believed”.

“Is that how you’re gonna try saying you thought I didn’t having an ounce of fearsomeness in my body?”.

“You summoned me to help your pathetic attempt at a haunted house…”.

Okay that was fair, “hey, I don’t do terror well but I do do confusion and chaos well. There’s a reason I’m banned from cooking, carrying fragile shit, having both lunch meat and batteries on me, bringing Nasty sauce to school, or putting my personal coffee in the teachers lounge; which to be fair to that last one, someone did almost die”.

The FrightKnight actually seems impressed, meaning Danhy as his Danhy self has impressed the ghost of fear itself somehow. Cool? Cool. Then one of the seniors on a spare walks over, sticks a sticker to his shoulder with a, “you are now the Casperhigh ghost mascot”, and walks away. Leaving Danhy blinking, looking at the sticker, it’s a toast cat, then wheeze laughing, “my point stands, oh wow!”.

Then the bell rings, apparently he was right outside Sam’s class now. Her looking at him with his hands on his knees wiping away a tear, “what did you do?”.

Danhy snickering, “got a sticker”, and pushes himself to stand up straight, “got kicked out of class, and a second class that I was never actually in”.

“So you told everyone, huh”.

“Yup”.

“Dumbass”.

Danhy shrugs as they head to his and her next class, “eh, it’ll cover any weird ghost shit about me. Especially if more of it crops up”.

“Like the eyes?”.

“Like the eyes”; he’d almost been tempted to steal some of Jazz's or Sam’s concealer but fuck that, he’s owning his actual parents genetics. At least Maddie noticing that meant it was the most noticeable thing… until he gets actual facial hair instead of just tiny now shaved off stubble. Or until hits a sudden and probably ridiculous growth spurt; he’s seriously hoping he doesn’t wind up super super tall. Even when he believed Jack was his dad he didn’t want that height, Pariah was worse. At least ClockWork was barely taller than Danhy now… depending on form.

Her nodding as they get in to their seats, “yeah, it’s more noticeable in the crap school lights than your room. Legit eyeliner”.

“Hey there’s a reason I nicknamed it evil eyeliner, which I still don’t have a new word for”.

She smacks him, “stick with it! Show your evil side! You dad is definitely evil”.

“What no, he was just, having issues, being a little funky guy”.

“Is that what you call mass murder these days?”.

Danhy pouts at her, she rolls her eyes; but everyone else is coming in now so…

2..

3…

4….

“I thought you were dead!”.

And there it is… wait what? “I’m a ghost and alive! Who told you I was dead or dead dead!? Double dead? Dead squared? Death double down? The big flop part two?”.

“Why do you even look human? Do your parents look human?”.

“Are you going to bring your parents to school?”.

“Where are you even living?”.

“How do you survive without ectoplasm?”.

“If I die can you turn me into a ghost?”.

“How many wars makes a ghost a war lord?”.

“By war lord is he, like, royalty?”.

“What is wrong with your life?”.

“This should have been a school assembly!”.

“So that ecto-contamination thing was bullshit huh?”.

“If ghosts can make babies with ghosts can they make babies with humans?”.

“Are you a contamination?”.

Danhy is having mild regrets; Clockpops is probably laughing at him right now. Danhy shouting, “I can’t answer half that shit!”, throwing his hands up, “all of y’all just make a questionnaire, bitches loves questionnaires, bitches like me!”.

Jesse pouts, “your fault for being weird”, sticking up a finger and looking at the others, “but I thought everyone knew Danhy ate ectoplasm? Like the Fenton’s fed it to him?”.

“What!”.

“Oh that’s nasty!”.

“Oh right I forgot about that, too weird”.

“So he hasn’t been surviving without ectoplasm?”.

Danhy huffs crossing his arms, “considering they put some in my breakfast this morning, no I haven’t been. Apparently I used to raid their samples as a little kid, they thought I was an ecto crack baby instead of a ghost”.

“That is completely insane”.

“I thought the Fenton’s were supposed to be smart!”.

“It’s not really wrong though…”.

“So instead of ‘oh hey! Human looking ghost baby!’ They went ‘ECTO CRACK’?”.

Danhy shrugs, “to be fair, I am alive. That’s basically the opposite of being a ghost, not guessing ‘ghost baby’ is normal”.

“Aka you’re a fucking weirdo”.

Lancer comes in and sighs at everything, “Danhy, the next time you want to relay mind breaking news to the entire student body, we’re having an assembly”.

Danhy tilting his head with a smirk, “getting complaints?”.

“Many. But I am still holding class today, leave your questions for the boy till lunch”.

But Danhy’s smirk only grows, “is this when I should mention that my dad is definitely royalty? And my pops is a god?”. Even Sam smacks him as the room erupts into incoherent shouts. Lancer massages his temples with feeling. Danny’s tempted to shout ‘hail Satan’ just to make the chaos a little worse.

…

He absolutely does get multiple questionnaires at lunch. Zone, he’s pretty sure one was from the damn janitor… since the only question on it was if Danhy was the one leaving ecto-bio-hazard messes and if he was going to keep doing that. Okay so maybe Danhy wasn’t the best at not getting his red green blood on things. Oops. At least it was unsurprising that the most common question was ‘are you dead?’, which was also the most confusing one to give an answer too since the answer was BOTH… the jury’s out on that one… yes and no… you decide for yourself… debatable… a drawing of a box with an arrow pointing to it attached to the word ‘cat’.

Lancer actually set up a google survey for him to fill out and just mass send the responses out. Cool, less effort for Danhy.

Lancer shakes his head at his computer, scrolling through the pages of a very peculiar survey. “That boy, this is absurd”.

Did your dad abduct the town? Yes, but like he had reasons. Wouldn’t you be upset at the world if you thought some gods went and offed your kid??

Is your dad royalty? Tots.

Did you say you’re other dad’s a god? Yup. Time daddy. Chronos. They hit me for calling them that so you suck.

You have two dads? Eh? Ones more genderless.

Are you a contaminate like ghosts are? I am a ghost. Obviously

Are you human? Yes, no, maybe so

Are you a ghost? Yes, no, maybe so

Are you royalty? Yes, no, maybe so

Are you a god? Yes, no, maybe so

Do you eat ectoplasm? Not intentionally, meaning yes.

Are the Fenton’s still your parents? No. Aunty and uncle.

Are you moving to the ghost zone? No, I call visitation rights and frequent flyer points though.

How were you born? Ew.

Were you born in the ghost zone? obviously.

Did the Fenton’s steal you? Surprisingly no

Are you illegal? Yes, no, maybe so

Why don’t you look like a ghost? I do though, y’all just don’t notice. I’m also, like, young and shit

How do ghosts have babies? EW.

Are you sure Jazz is still your sister? YES DASH I KNOW THIS WAS YOU

Are you going to take over the town in your dad’s place now? NO! Besides, he already thinks I have apparently. I did not correct him.

Is this why you feel like a dangerous threat? Yes, no, maybe so

Are you the one leaving red green blood all over the place? Sorry

Why do you look human? Because I am?

And on and on it went. Lancer sighing, “some of this is far too invasive, at least mine got answered”.

Are you okay? As I ever am, so yeah.

“School is going to be incredibly interesting and painful for the next while”, shaking his head, “and I’ve gotten three reports of him breaking things, again”.

Chap. 5: Show Me To My Wonderland

Prompts: Pariah doesn't really believe in second chances so much as believe he's still on his first one if you twist the entire situation around enough Danny finds out he's adopted. It goes surprisingly well.: Danny is Clockwork's and Pariah Dark's son, but when Clockwork was attacked by the Observants, he sent a newborn Danny to a random time in the future to keep him safe. His disappearance triggered Pariah Dark's madness. Centuries later, Danny is found by the Fentons. When Danny fights Pariah Dark, he immediately recognizes his Son. Clockwork time-fight. That's the whole prompt, I just want to see clockwork being badass in a fight. It can be against someone else with time powers, or not! go nuts. Vlad is having the worst day ever. Ghosts have this aura around them, something that makes the human hindbrain say /danger/, gets a heartbeat racing, makes gooseflesh rise on the skin; But of course this is normal for dead things. So why does it happen to anyone around Danny Fenton?

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