phcking-detective

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who wants to see the worst thing ive seen this week

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aroace Nines whose attitude towards Gavin is "This is my human. He is attracted to me. I do not reciprocate, but sometimes I allow him to hump my leg when he needs help calming down."

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hawk.

#love this artist #boy boy boy #my boy!!

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Oh you have a cock? Prove it. Take multiple pictures from multiple angles, hard and soft, hanging loosely and you holding it in your hand. Also I wanna make sure it's working properly so post a couple videos of you nutting. Make sure to take a few pics of you squeezing your balls too just to enforce the idea ☺️

How do you people even find me

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man i need a better packing harness im always going to the bathroom and my penis is fucking horizonal and sideways like hope no one saw my awkward and freakish bulge just then

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#this movie is a fucking trainwreck (so so affectionate)

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Soulmate AU where soulmates share dreams or appear in each others dreams

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Meet me in the vast, widely-disputed, secret pornography section of the Vatican Library archives at midnight.

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love starting a war show they just throw 25 identical looking guys at u and then leave u too it. they don't even wish u good luck or nothing just. here have the lads. its like getting into a new kpop group

#it's all matt bomer #EXCEPT middle face first column #that one is henry cavill #I am actively watching White Collar right now #so I've been looking at matt bomer's face for the last two weeks

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post nut clarity does not properly convey the gravity of the pre nut insanity. like truly.

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One of my favorite Murderbot things is when the enemy is like: "time to be hostile! Security system, take care of that threat!"

And the security system is standing there metaphorically holding hands and making a friendship bracelet with Murderbot like: "Oh shit, there's a threat? Where!?" *turns to murderbot* "Did you see anything?"

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:>

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Make your whumpees go into shock. Do it.

Symptoms of hypovolemic shock (e.g whumpee has lost a lot of blood):

Hyperventilation

Confusion/anxiety

Sweating

Passing out

Clammy skin

Weakness

Low temperature and blood pressure

Rapid pulse

Symptoms of distributive shock (e.g sepsis, severe allergic reactions, asthma attacks)

Rash

Rapid pulse

Hyperventilation

Warm arms and legs

Skin that starts off warm then turns clammy and cold

Fever

Chills

Stomach pain

Confusion

Cough

Shortness of breath

Nausea

Throwing up

Either way, whumpee is most likely headed to the ICU. ASAP.

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Art by Ada Ke (@a1222ya)

https://twitter.com/a1222ya?s=09

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A character shielding their companion from the elements with their own body- positioning themselves as a wind-block; sitting so their shadow is cast across their companion's face; leaning over them to provide scant shelter from the rain; curling close to lend their warmth; tucking their companion's face close and cupping a hand over it to block wind-blown grit or sand; acting as a human shield from pelting hail or sleet; cradling their companion in their lap to insulate them from the seeping cold of the ground...

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me: Storytime—I Bought That Mysterious Amulet You Said Was Cursed ‼️‼️

my apprentice: why are you talking like that

me:

my apprentice: is it the curse

me: My Apology Video (I F*cked Up!) 😱 Should Have Listened To My Apprentice 😭