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what if helluva boss genuinely had blitzø in a non-monogamous setup with stolas and fizz and asmodeus as canon endgame haha kidding.... unless........

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*exits gamingmas covered in blood* so how we feeling phannies?

Idea from @elorca

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dan howell saying "girl-" whenever phil does something stupid, rb if u agree

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we’ve gone so feral having 3 days without dnp i can’t fathom how they must feel when they are actually separated. makes so much sense why pj had to babysit phil during wad and why dan actually used twitter on xmas day

#same #dan and phil #dnp

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Mike wheeler's interactions with food

👾sorry for spelling mistakes I'm dyslexic👾

Not only will this be based on what we see in the show (mostly s4) but will also include my experiences as a guy with a diagnosed restrictive eating disorder(EDNOS), how this relates to Mike's potential autism and how eating disorders are more common amongst queer men then cishet men. Obvious tw for eating disorders, disordered eating, selfhate, stereotypes ect...

In s1 we see Mike putting syrup on his scrambled eggs, something Nancy deems 'disgusting' and no one else at the table has done the same thing. These kind of 'wierd' food combinations are very typical for autistic people and are linked to developing eating disorders like ARFID. After this we don't really see Mike interacting with food until season 4, although we do see Mike is decently exited to eat some snacks Will brought to the cinema and his break up with El(keep this in mind).

👾season 4👾

The first interaction with food in s4 is Mike hurrying to school and quickly making some toast to take with him. We don't see him eat this toast nor etempt too like taking a bite or holding it in his mouth while he does something else, we do however see an expression of concern on Karen's face. He did this so his parents would see him taking food to 'eat'.

At lunch we see Mike has food but doesn't eat any and at the hellfire meeting everyone except Mike has mounting dew. Saying we give Mike the benefit of the doubt that he doesn't like that particular pop why wouldn't he have brought another drink?

In the episode were he reunites with El and Will at the airport we see food mentioned a few times. At the mention of getting burritos Mike seems to panic a bit, quickly turning his head to meet her and his voice is slightly higher pitched. The only thing we see him consume the whole episode is a milkshake that we don't even know if he finished, though this does make sense as liquids are easer for most people with a restrictive ED to eat(well, drink haha). Yet again Will is present but so is El, he's trying to keep up a look of normality and being a good boyfriend.

Back at the byers Mike still eats no solid food, instead he only picks at the risotto. Typically there's 2 ways people with eating disorders respond to stress: over eating or restricting. Everyone else is eating despite the stress of the day because their coping mechanisms don't involve food whereas Mike's does, he fall into the second category of restricting when under stress.

The next day Mike still hasn't eaten any solids. I personally find myself doing the same thing so I may be projecting a bit but when under stress to the point I don't eat I will continue to not eat even if I'm no longer too stressed out. This gives me a sense of control over the whole situation and eating would be braking that control and making me stressed again creating a cycle, and it's this very cycle that seems to have a hold on Mike. At breakfast he just picks at his food instead of eating before taking Els egos up to her. This not only allows him to try and apologise but also doesn't make him look strange for not eating infront of Will who looks notably concerned.

When pizza is ordered it's unclear if anyone eats some. In the dessert Mike has some pop and yet again it's unclear how much he drinks.

At the surfer boy pizza Mike still hasn't eaten until Argyle brings out a pineapple pizza, Mike rejects this saying he doesn't like pineapple on pizza (this scene made me laugh because I've done the EXACT same thing to avoid eating before💀) while he may be telling the truth it still doesn't make sense for him to not eat it as he presumably hasn't eaten for 24 hours or at the very least around 8. Unless he has a major aversion to pineapple on pizza like sensory issues, he's hiding his hunger.

👾why would Mike have an eating disorder/other👾

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way shape or form think you need to be thin or unweight to have a restrictive ED. I have,in the 3 years I've had EDs,fluctuated between anorexia, BED, bulimia and EDNOS and have only been underweight once in my honeymoon phase. Your ED is valid no matter your size💖

The media uses stereotypes as they are the easiest for the general public to understand, this is especially common with eating disorders. To the bone, my skinny sister, starving in suburbia, girl intrupted are all popular media staring people with restrictive eating disorders, and a common factor all these characters have is being skinny white girls. Mike (obviously) isn't a girl so that alone would make his ED harder for the general public to understand or sympathise with so they really need to show the key factor of his thinness. The team chose to put Mike in clothes that would show his body like shorts and short sleeve Tees. Even his jeans are made to accentuate the fact Mike is under weight as they clearly aren't made to be baggy yet still sag. The directors/script writers even go as far as to have Angela refer to Mike as a twig.

Expectations for alt and queer men overlap and always have. While there's obvious differences a more common then not factor is thinness and flamboyance, Mike clearly isn't willing to be flamboyant (mostly likely due to his parents political vues and potential internlisedhomophobia) but the physical look is something he can achieve. This links into...

Mike doesn't like himself. Even in s1 we see him being bullied for his appearance and his dad's, Ted wheeler, indirect criticism of him. We also see Mike attempts to emulate Eddie munson -who is bold in style and visibly queer- someone who Mike isn't like especially visually. When he goes to california he wears what he thinks will make him fit in and (presumably) be more what El and Will are used to. In both situations he's changing himself.

Mike is obviously traumatised. He's watched his best friend be possessed, be in excruciating pain screaming out for him and almost die. He's watched Bob get ripped to shreads by demo dogs, seen literal monsters made of human flash, been knocked out by another possessed person and SO much more. His eating is really the only thing he can control.

Will is there almost every time Mike eats/drinks something. This suggests he's either trying to be 'normal' infront of Will and to not worry him or Will is a safe person that makes him feel comfortable enough to do so, probably a mix of both.

👾EDs presenting differently in AMAB people, Mike's potential eating disorder👾

EDs typically start young, even still amab people tend to develop them in their teens to early adults. This is due to the physical expectations we are exposed to, slender yet muscler men who are so tall they could touch a ceiling with no effort who sport angular jaw lines and get equally as 'perfect' girls in abundance. Amab people (specifically guys) tend to develop EDs like orthorexia, EDNOS, bigorexia and bulimia (which is the most common ED among gay men). Eating disorders aren't as talked about in guys let alone in the 80s so Mike's efforts at hiding his ED would be different compared to a girls, while his parents may be concerned about him I doubt an eating disorder comes to mind. Lifting/exercise culture also influences us, the fact its almost expected of guys to be bulking or cutting food at any given time is basically the equivalent of girls expected to be on a diet, guys are also expected to have that 'teen boy metabolism/thinness' and if you don't fit into this it really messes you up.

Mike isn't sporty and this is made VERY clear, he's built like a string bean, he's the stereotype of a nerd, and he's shown no interest in sports. This imo is enough evidence to rule out bigorexia(and disorders like it) and orthorexia as we don't see him once etempt to be healthy with food or exercise. There's also no signs that Mike purges (no puffy cheeks, blisters on nuckles, no laxatives seen and ofc no exercise) so I'll also take bulimia of the potential ED list. This leaves us with the 2 most likely candidates of EDNOS and anorexia . We see him heavily restrict food and not eating under stress except this isn't constant, in s3 after his brake up with El ,Mike is eating a can of crisps to himself (maby the start of a binge) and he presumably eats in the cinema. S3 may have shown a period of normal eating or it may be that his eating disorder didn't start until the byers and El left Hawkins. With this information I personally think Mike could be anorexic!

If you struggle with an ED and would like someone to talk to feel free to contact me! You are not alone in this illness and if talking will make you feel better or you just want to ask questions please do so💖

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mike wheeler when

no, seriously.

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I think my mind is stuck on the Rink O Mania fight right now and I can’t get it to stop so-

A deep dive on the line: “We’re friends. We’re friends.”

Said by none other than Mike “In the closet” Wheeler.

And in order to do this, let’s talk about:

The context

Mike’s tone

The urgency of the reply

The backing track

What could have been Mike’s reply

So first, context.

The moment that Will regrabs Mike’s attention with his “well, what about us?” Mike is hit with more and more thoughts of exactly that: “us.” Him and Will. And Will doesn’t stop. He accuses Mike of being mad, dismissive, uncaring, lacking, all towards Will.

The pressure is on. And look at Mike. He’s upset about it.

But then comes-

The last straw. And what is the last straw? Well, this brings me to my next and most crucial points…

Notice Mike’s tone. You can even see it in the gif alone.

Will just posed the tiniest question “and us?” with the biggest implication: what are we to you? And Mike immediately feels the need to repeat his friendship assertion twice. “We’re friends. We’re friends.”

Mike tends to repeat himself when he’s upset. He’s affected by this. Which, duh, right? But think about it.

Why might Mike be upset by this? Is it just because Will is upset and they’re feeding off of each other? Is it because Mike is annoyed that Will brought up El and compared himself to her? Or could it be something more?

Is Mike perhaps threatened by the fear of the idea of actually being something else to Will? Perhaps he’s worried that Will got the wrong idea? Perhaps it’s something internal to Mike himself that he doesn’t want to breach?

Mike is the one who set that boundary, after all, in making such a strong reply.

So once again, Mike is upset here. That’s pretty clear to see. And throughout the entire time Will brings up their relationship outside of El, he also looks so uncomfortable, if you ask me. Like he doesn’t want to talk about it. Like he doesn’t want to fight with Will lest things hit a little too close to home. Mike seems defensive.

Like his upset repetition, he does back out of the conversation twice, after all.

I think that he’s hiding his true heart. Running away from something. Running away from something because of Will.

Hm.

Next, let’s talk about the urgency. This is not a slow fight. There is barely a moment of pause from the entire fight, start to finish. In fact! It’s after this line that we get a pause to breathe. It’s only after Will retorts, “well, we used to be best friends!” that Mike stops.

As of “We’re friends. We’re friends.” Mike is steamrolling through this without need to stop. Mike doesn’t even need to think of his reply to Will’s, “and us?”

Does Mike just always and readily consider the distinction of Will as a friend as opposed to… something else?

Hm.

And now, briefly, because goddamn this should tell all, I want to bring up the backing track!

The fact is that “In the closet (at Rink O Mania)” starts playing right before Mike successfully backs out of the conversation!! And this needs to be talked about more!

Yeah. That song didn’t start playing while Will was speaking. It started playing while Mike was speaking.

And as the song plays, coupled with his upsetness, Mike deflects blame (“why is this on me?”), something that shows that he… doesn’t want to accept the blame nor the truth.

Once again: hm.

Now, lastly, I wouldn’t be me without at least one good ol’ counter argument, what could have been. I mean, this isn’t really a proper counterpoint as I still am believing that Mike is so gay to try and declare his friendship to his fellow male bestie with urgent and defensive fervency backed by a literal “In the closet” soundtrack but.

Maybe I should just call this an imaginative perspective.

Because seriously, Mike could have reacted in so many other ways than how he did.

Where’s the “what do you mean, ‘us?’” Where’s the simple “what?” for that matter? What about a “you know that’s not the same thing.”

Mike could have defended himself. Backed up. Questioned Will and gotten to the bottom of the emotion right then and there. But he didn’t.

Y’know why?

Because despite the variety of choices, if Mike didn’t spell clearly that they were just “friends,” he’d be so much more vulnerable to getting outed. Will could have easily parried by repeating himself and flustering Mike. Or Mike could have risked the potential continued questions from Will about what if they could be more? So logically, Mike took the safest route he could.

Angrily. And defensively. Not confusedly. He knew what he was saying and not saying.

Yeah, I just can’t not see Mike as someone trying to hide himself, here.

I find it so upsettingly fascinating overall how neither of the two seem to stop and question what each other actually means. They never ask for certain clarification or hesitate. Well, Mike does, once -

- but then things keep spiraling and they don’t get to stop and think twice again. Everything else seemingly comes out in quick anger and frustration. And it’s so easy for them to miss things when they’re also so rushed by the need to find El. Truly, did you leave this Rink O Mania fight feeling like it was satisfying and that Mike and Will said all that they wanted to towards each other? I know that I didn’t.

The only way I can see people thinking that Mike is genuinely and completely and utterly straight is if they think he’s arguing at face value and plainly had nothing else to say to Will. So really, it’s up to how you as a viewer see him.

But if Mike is actually just friends with Will, why do these same types of intimate one-on-one fights often happen between established couples? Why is Mike’s story interwoven with Will’s so deeply like this, enough to hit on the tension of romance versus friendship? Why is Mike even a main character if he’s supposed to only be taken at face value? How come Mike is able to smile again the moment that Will brings up them and only them two again a day later - even though this all happens before Mike apologizes for the Rink O Mania fight and their relationship hasn’t been fully mended yet??

“We’re friends. We’re friends.” is a cry to me across the screen that Mike is trying to state the facts and keep his head on straight (haha) despite everything that Will meant and continued to mean to him. It’s been half a year since Mike and Will spoke, and so they’d also had plenty of time to internalize their ideas of each other and ignore a number of thoughts without the other around. We know that Will kept his feelings at bay by painting them.

What do we certainly and canonically know about Mike and what he personally did away from Will specifically? That’s right!

Nothing.

But I choose to believe that he surely thought about Will while he was gone, right? And missed him during at least one Hellfire game? And potentially considered who Will was to him? And maybe told himself to stop if he imagined anything too deep because they were just friends? Or is that too much to assume?

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At this point my biggest fear isn't that Byler won't be endgame (it will be) but that it won't be properly explained or built up from Mike's perspective to the GA so that people won't be able to recognize how beautiful and subtle Byler is and will instead think the Duffers changed their minds last second and had Mike end up with Will just to please fans or something. Obviously reddit bros will always hate and say it came out of nowhere but my fear is that the headlines won't be "Stranger Things ends with Surpirse Queer Romance that's been Planned from the Beginning" and will instead be like "Mike and Will end Stranger Things in a Queer Relationship that Seemingly Came out of Nowhere" or something. Like what if people are just too dense and media illiterate to really get it and Stranger Things just becomes a meme like "that show that had a completely random gay ending" or something like that would actually be my last straw. The thought of cinema bros on youtube making fun of it or the ending being divisive not just bc of homophobic people but bc of people who just genuinely won't see it even after it becomes canon makes me ill omg. "That moment when you leave your girlfriend of years and randomly turn gay for her brother at the end" I would rather die than read those words but it seems so likely to be a lot of people's reaction.

Like we really need a flashback sequence of all the times Mike has been gay asf to Will in-show and not just as a recontextualization on rewatch. I need him to get Vecna'd as fuck, I need a flashback to him watching Will dance with that girl at the Snowball, a montage of him staring at Will's lips, his confused face after El kisses him, him being obsessed as hell about finding Will and being the "only one who cares about Will," the crazy together scene etc. and hopefully unreleased shots of Mike biking back from the quarry and also trying to call Will when Will was in California. Like it needs to be so incredibly obvious that Mike is gay and absolutely irrefutable otherwise so many people just aren't going to get it at all. And I hope the writers recognize that lol.

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Lucas and Dustin fighting over that girl in the videogame and Mike and Will not caring abou her at all, Mike saying that Lucas thinking Max is awesome makes no sense and not understanding why they were crushing on Max (and he already met El, which literally contradicts his monologue) also st using "fast times" as a way of seeing if someone likes girls and Dustin mentioning Phoebe Cates and Mike making that weird uninterested gay face

also this

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being gay isn’t a choice. one day you just hear tender, emotional music start playing.

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one of the greatest tragedies in life is that you will always be loved more than you will ever know. someone in class finds your presence inviting and warm, even if you’ve only ever exchanged a few words with them—maybe none at all. someone on the street loves your smile and it gets them down the next few streets. someone you used to be friends with still wishes to fondly call your name. someone you used to be friends with five years ago would give anything to be in the same room as you today. someone who regularly comes into work is disappointed when you aren’t there to brighten their day. someone missed you today. someone noticed you were gone. someone loves you when you’re there; someone loves you when you’re nowhere to be found at all. you think you have always disappeared when you’re no longer in the picture, but you’ve never left the frame.

#wait i love this #it actually makes me feel better #save #will reread it later :)

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You ever thought you were gonna randomly die?

Maybe it was just my ADHD brain overthinking...

But today at work a high-speed jet flew over the city.

Not the first time... happens from time to time, even if it's rare...

But this time it was different... it got louder and louder, way louder than these things usually are... it was probably flying low. I didn't see it, but it was the only way i could explain it to myself.

And for just a second, i was certain that it was gonna crash in the street, and explode and that this was how i was gonna die...

I literally sat there, unable to move, waiting for the impact.

It never came. The jet passed by and was gone as quickly as it came.

But these not even 5 seconds... i really thought it was over...

#this #never had something to that degree #but every time a car drives by at the speed of the light i think that this is it #or if i stumble on a stair and trip for a second #maybe it's something close to intrusive thoughts?? #idk #adhd

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any other autistics get aggressively confused why people phrase demands as questions? like. "can you take out the trash" and im like no im watching an ajr interview and then im in trouble cuz there wasnt actually an option it was actually "go take out the trash" and im told it sounds more polite but i find it incredibly rude because you give me fake options like more polite would be please go take out the trash so i know that i have to but it doesnt sound angry anyway this realllllly annoys me and idk if other people experience it like whatsoever

#THIS #OH MY GOD #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #neurodiversity #adhd #audhd #actually audhd #this >>> #autistic as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

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“reblog in 30 seconds to get cash!” “reblog this to get good news!” “reblog for good luck!”

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i need everyone to reassure me they love me at all times

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the bpd urge to disappear without a trace is so strong

#honestly