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My anxiety is making me depressed and I just want it all to stop.

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"Sorry I have plans"

The plans:

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I am a trainwreck of a human being but id make a good cat

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Turned 38 today. Still not sure how I made it this long lol.

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bummed out

I had a dream last night, and two of my friends from high school were in it. I haven't seen them for 15 years now, and I'm not quite sure what brought it on. But I wish I could tell them I miss them and see how they are doing, but I have no idea how to get ahold of them. I checked and couldn't find either of them on facebook. Now I'm really sad. :(

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Brown Kiwi Mating Spectacle | Wild New Zealand | BBC Earth

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Icelandic puffin

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It's 100% my fault I'm single

I stopped trying to put myself out there, I don't take enough chances, and I don't ask anyone for help. I don't use all the resources available to me. Whether it's a chicken or the egg thing, I let my self esteem, depression, and anxiety stop me from getting what I want. And yet I still let it stop me, even though I know it's doing it.

You can't win the game if you don't play. It's my fault I'm alone. And honestly, I deserve it if I can see that and I'm doing nothing to change it.

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My brain is making me so tired of everything.

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I don't think I'll ever get better.

#depression #anxiety #mental illness

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Motörhead

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Sometimes my anxiety makes me just want to remove myself from the equation completely.

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Not gonna lie, lack of intimacy is making me really sad lately. I just have keep hoping and praying that everything will turn out the way it's supposed to, and that I have enough patience and serenity to handle whatever happens.

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sad

I had a dream last night that I lost my virginity, and it was a really nice experience and she said I did good for my first time. And she liked me and wanted to be with me. Then we had sex a couple of more times, and in the middle of it, I realized I was dreaming and I woke up, and I was going through the motions and everything.

I never have dreams where I have sex. Ever. I don't know if it's because I forgot to take my medication yesterday or what.

But I woke up and it made me so depressed I can't stop thinking about it.

I'm so tired of being lonely. I want to give myself to the right person, and it doesn't feel like it will ever happen.

And it's killing me.

#about me #tmi #single #lonely #sex

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Voroneț Monastery, Gura Humorului, Bukovina, Romania

10 April 2023

Fujifilm X100V

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Romanian bear dancers, Romania, by Vadim Ghirda