pinkczennie

[pinkczennie]

Seeds of Pomegranates

Pairing: god!Jaehyun x human!reader

Genre: Hades x Persephone reimagining, dark romance, hate to love, slow burn, smut

Word Count: 29.5k

Warnings: morally grey characters

Summary: The day the god of the underworld steals you away, he expects to have found a timid wife to make his isolated life more bearable. Little does he know that the rose he picked from the garden called earth bears knives instead of thorns, and he might not have found a timid wife, but a queen with a heart as dark as his.

A/N: Hi guys! Months worth of rewriting and editing is finally finished! This story grew very dear to me since this is my first plot based on greek mythology, and I took my sweet time for the world building. Thus, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

The day the god of the underworld stole you away from earth, he didn’t only steal your body, but your soul too.

You were watering the flowers in the garden behind your small house before he did it. It was the first day of spring, the sun rays only slowly starting to feel warm and pleasant on the tip of your nose. Your plants were reluctantly awakening after months of hiding under a thick blanket of icy snow, but you were determined to make them flourish and blossom in all colors again. Your mother always said you had a magic touch for making flowers grow even from concrete, and every year you proved to her that she was right.

From the kitchen window that stood ajar, you smelled the delicious stew she was currently cooking with the help of your little sister, prepared from the self harvested vegetables that had survived this long winter. You were already looking forward to lunch - of which you were blissfully unaware you wouldn’t be able to join at that time.

When the watering can was slowly emptying, only droplets still coming out, you arose from your crouching position with the intention to walk over to the well and refill it one last time. Overhearing your sister placing the plates and cutlery on the table, you assumed the stew was finally ready, so you hurried with your steps to finish your labor quickly.

If you had known that the last words you directed at your mother and sister before leaving the house would have been “I’ll be back soon!”, would you have chosen other ones? Perhaps something with a deeper message like “I’ll always love you” or “I’ll be fine”? But you hadn’t known, so they were left with the promise that you’d eventually return from wherever you vanished to that day.

Even though you didn’t know yourself whether you would ever be able to see them again.

Lowering the bucket into the well, it never came to reach the water’s surface. Suddenly, it felt like the entire world came crashing down on you. Deafening noise replaced the birds’ singing and chirping that had accompanied you until now. You panicked and raised your head, looking over to the house where you wanted to make sure that nothing was happening to your family as the soil beneath your feed started to shake too.

Gathering your skirts around your hips, you prepared yourself to sprint, but as you were about to set one foot aside, there was nothing to support your body anymore in front of you. The ground under you was split, entirely gone, and only darkness gaping at you from beneath. You let out a scream and stepped away, rescuing yourself to the other side of the cleft.

Having no idea where this earthquake came from as they were unusual for this part of the world, you only thought about saving your mother and sister. But as you looked over to the house again, it still stood there, solid, steady and seemingly unmoving. And then, it was gone. Not because it fell into a crater like the one that had split in front of you, but because you fell into one that had opened up between your legs, forcing them apart.

Realizing the danger of the situation too late, there was no possibility for you to save yourself anymore as you fell right into the gap, into darkness, with a long lasting scream.

So, this was how you died, you thought.

____

You had dreamed of your mother and your little sister. Only the three of you, sitting at the lunch table, eating the delicious stew the two had prepared upon your return from the garden. You were chattering and laughing together as always, as though nothing had changed. But it wasn’t real, only a dream in which you wanted to linger a bit longer.

Silent tears had streamed down your closed eyes that were now dried around the rims and which you still refused to open. The surface on which you were lying felt a little too comfortable, almost like a soft mattress. A thick blanket was pulled over your body as well so that you didn’t freeze. You were able to move your fingers, feeling every breather your chest drew as though reminding you that you were very much still alive and not dead like you had assumed. 

Eventually, you had to force your lids open. Dim light coming from lit candles immersed the dark room in which you were situated in a soothing atmosphere. Though the term “room” was an understated description for the place in which you found yourself. The closet-like space back at home which you shared with your sister could be called a room, but this was way bigger than your entire house, including the garden, and way more. This was an entire suite.

You braced yourself against what truly turned out to be a soft mattress on a huge bed that was thrice the size of your own, the posts towering you on each edge and connecting over your head in a net of purple velvet. The bed was made of black marble glistening in the flickering candlelight coming from the golden chandeliers, and only then you noticed that the entire room was forged from this luxurious, dark material. 

To your right, you spotted two high pointed windows that reached to the vaulted ceiling with interlaced arches, but the view was hidden by curtains made of the same purple velvet that was hanging over your bed. The suite was decorated with long, golden mirrors and stucco of the same color, and to your left, you found a long closet stretching across the entire wall as well as a dressing table.

Before you could inspect the place further, a knock on the door made you gasp out loud and slide to the far end of the bed. You were at a loss about what had happened to you, where you currently were, why you were here. Had you, inexplicably, survived the earthquake and been rescued by someone?

You nearly didn’t dare look when the doors opened and in walked a girl, most likely a bit younger than you, dressed all in black with a golden tray in her hands. She was very pale, but the color of her skin stood in contrast to her dark hair and garments of the same color, the smile around her lips inviting, kind, and genuine. 

“Good morning, mistress, you’re already awake!” she chirped in a cheerful voice.

It was morning already? For how long have you slept? “Good morning,” you croaked, startled by your own, hoarse voice. “Where am I?”

“At my master’s palace.” She put the tray on top of the mattress, right next to you. There, you spotted a bowl filled with what appeared as porridge. “I came to bring you breakfast, mistress. After that, I’ll help you bathe and get dressed.”

“What for?” You furrowed. If anything, you wanted to leave right away to return home. “And please, I’m not a mistress.”

“To meet my master, he’s already waiting,” was the girl’s simple answer. “And as a guest of this household, you’re formally our mistress.”

At that moment, it made sense to you. Of course you would need to express your gratitude to the person who saved you from the earthquake, it was only polite. Then, you could return home, so you gave a nod to confirm your agreement despite being addressed as a mistress still not sitting right with you. You would act along for today.

“What’s your name?” you asked the girl as she put the tray on your lap, taking the spoon into your hand and dipping it into the porridge.

For a guest suite so big, the breakfast was very simple, plain even, you silently remarked. The oats were made with water, not milk, so the flavor wasn’t very rich as they also hadn’t been seasoned with sugar or cinnamon. But again, you didn’t want to be ungrateful and enjoyed what was offered to you.

“It’s Ara, mistress.”

The title sounded so bizarre to your ears. You were a simple girl from a small village, not someone who usually resided at such a place. 

“Ara, I would love to meet your master and express my gratitude. Take me to him.”

“Very well, mistress.”

____

After taking a bath in a room that wasn’t less luxurious as the one in which you had slept, with a tub made of the same dark marble that reminded you of onyx, Ara dressed you in a tame, but beautiful long-sleeved dress made of pastel pink silk that flowed down your body and fitted perfectly. During the process, you noted that you hadn’t caught any bruises or scratches from the fall, and you nearly started to question your sanity if falling into that crate had even happened at all. Miraculously, you had survived unscathed.

With cautious steps, you followed Ara along the dark corridor lit up by candles, the dark yet lavish theme of the place also present here. It didn’t take you long to find out that this wasn’t a mansion, but an entire palace you had only read about in books. For someone who had grown up in a small, rundown house, it couldn’t quite fit in your imagination how big a palace like this one must be as you rounded corners and passed by more corridors with walls you had to bend your neck to see them end. There were no windows open, all blacked out by the velvet curtains despite it being morning apparently, light coming only from the elaborate candelabras. 

You wondered how far from home you had been found as you had never encountered someone passing by a palace like this close to you, so fascinating yet intimidating. Surely, news must have broken out like wildfire already since village people devoured gossip like no one else, especially when it was about something as lavish as the owner of this palace. You were eager to find out and request an escort home. 

Ara eventually stopped in front of a heavy door after you had nearly clumsily flown down a stairwell. On your way to here, you hadn’t encountered a single other person. It was quite a huge residence for someone to call it a home to themselves only. You didn’t know what to make of this odd place.

“My master awaits you.”

As the door opened, you found yourself standing in front of a purple carpet that led into a grand hall. The carpet shaped a long aisle with swaths of the same colors on the walls, interrupted by golden candelabras. The windows, spaced every few feet, were taller than most homes you had seen, and the high ceilings as well as arches were just as extravagantly forged. 

And there, on a dais at the end of the aisle, raised a pompous throne, tapering at the top in spikes and forming sword-like adornments that were divided by a skull in the very middle of it.

On the throne itself was seated a tall figure. 

The master. 

“Please come in,” he called out to you.

Even though you were still at the other side of the hall, you heard him clearly, a voice so low, it could haunt your dreams, but also so melodic, it could lure you to listen to its owner for an eternity as well. The latter was what drew you closer as the door magically shut behind you without physical force. 

He was possibly the most beautiful man you had ever seen, and even this didn’t do a description justice, you thought to yourself as you stood in front of the dais after a long, silent walk toward it, eyeing the master hopefully, almost imperceptibly. In your small village, you had encountered many beautiful people on their journey across the lands, but even the most handsome ones didn’t come close to the man opposite of you.

Other-worldly, on the other hand, was spot on to describe his appearance. His hair was blacker than a crow’s feather, falling elegantly into his forehead and nape, his skin fairer than winter snow, and his dark eyes clearer than morning dew. He was everything you knew and way more than that, nearly impossible to fathom in human words.

His right leg hung loosely over the throne’s armrest, his elbow propped against the left one as though he was bored, but you didn’t miss the attention and slight wariness in his gaze. He was donned in a black jacket and black trousers with gold embellishments that ended in boots of the same shade. The attire rustled when he settled in a proper seating position and leaned forward as though to examine you. Only then you noticed the black crown that ended in spikes sitting on top of his head and nearly meshing seamlessly with his dark hair.

Having almost forgotten your manners, you quickly gathered your composure, suppressing your reverence for his appearance, and did a curtsey. “I apologize for having let you wait for so long… master. I wanted to express my gratitude for the rescue and for giving me shelter in your home.” You caught him raising a brow when you looked back up to him. 

He slowly repeated two words, “Rescue? Shelter?”

You were just as perplexed, but explained your situation calmly, suspecting there might have been a miscommunication from your side, “For having saved me after I fell into the crater during the earthquake. I am deeply indebted to you and will do anything in my power as a peasant to repay what you have done for me. But first, and I want to apologize beforehand for being so bold, I ask to return home and make sure that my mother and sister are well.”

“I haven’t rescued you.” Smoothly, he set both his feet on the dais’ surface and leaned back again as though more relaxed now, “It was me who tore the earth apart to get you.”

A shudder ran down your spine and you took a step back. Surely, you must have misheard. “W-what do you mean by that? I don’t understand.”

He rose from his throne, now standing even taller and higher above you, and you grew more intimidated than you already were, bracing yourself to flee as an eerie feeling settled in your stomach. 

“This is the underworld, my kingdom.” Pause. “And you’re going to be my wife.”

____

You were running as fast as your feet were able to carry you. Somewhere along the way, you had lost your slippers, but you didn’t mind your bare soles touching the ground in passing as long as you could find an exit. But there was none. With the long skirts flowing between your legs and your hair getting lifted up by each movement, you ran along the apparent endless corridors, but every door you opened led you into another, empty room, regardless of the floor and part of the palace you ended up in. 

There was no exit, there was only darkness.

Exhausted and having to support yourself against the cold wall, you gasped for air, your lungs hurting as you had been trying to escape for too long already. From the window, a soft breeze found its way in, but you didn’t dare to pull the curtains aside, scared of what you would find behind them.

He was the god of the underworld, he had said.

You had heard many people in your village and visitors talking about these deities, worshiping them even, despite no one having met one once. Except for… you vaguely remembered an elderly woman journeying through the country once and passing by your house as well. She wanted to spread the news that she had been abducted by the god of the sea when she was younger, but your mother only closed the door in front of her face. Now you wondered whether she had been right all along as you just couldn’t wake up from this nightmare.

With a start, when you were able to stand on your own feet without feeling on the brink of fainting from exhaustion again, you pried apart the curtains and were surprisingly delighted to meet with light.

But this feeling evaporated very quickly as you gazed into the distance. The landscape was the greatest contrast to your home country that shone with green fields, towering trees, scentful flowers and golden crops. What dominated the scenery here were rolling plains, mostly treeless with the exception of a few clustered pines. Beneath the sky, everything was tinged in a reddish hue, varying from light orange to crimson. Your field of vision was constrained by a gray mountain range so high, the sharp tops ending in red clouds that were so thick and heavy that no light of any sort was coming through. What caused the red lightning though, you couldn’t see.

When you lowered your head, you discovered you were currently on one of the top floors of this dark palace that was built in a foreign, but impressive way. It was a complex, rich system of forts, bastions and towers with sharp tops that sparkled in the reflection of the red lighting and melded with the clouds of the same shade. The building ended several dozen meters below you on a bridge that crossed a vibrant sapphire blue river.

So there was a way out of this palace. 

“This is my kingdom and as my wife, it will become yours too.”

You flinched upon hearing his voice, not daring to turn around to him. You hadn’t even heard him approaching, when he had caught up to you. If he was the god of the underworld, what kind of power did he possess? You weren’t sure whether you ever wanted to find out.

“This will never become my home.” When you finally faced him, you were sure passion and resistance flickered in your eyes almost as intensely as the sky behind you. Fear was not a term familiar to you now as you cared more about your remaining family. “And I will never become your wife. I demand my freedom right now!”

He sighed as though he was the one in the right to get annoyed. “I fear I might not be able to do that.”

“You brought me here without my consent, you tore me away from my family, you robbed me off my life,” you spat, “and you’re expecting that I’m going to stay?”

“Even gods cannot defy godly rules.” He stepped closer to the window, but this time, you didn’t withdraw, indicating that he didn’t have such an effect on you. When he stood next to you, tall and mighty, his presence radiating a threatening aura, you still didn’t waver in your position, the growing resentment replacing apprehension. “When a human comes to the underworld, they cannot return on their own.”

“Am I-?!” You gasped.

He only snickered dryly as he looked out of the window. “You’re very far from being dead. You’re still very much alive.” 

“Then I can go back,” you whispered more to yourself, this enlightenment getting your hopes up. You would find a way, with or without his permission. 

He might be a god, but he didn’t own you. He might have stolen you from your home, but he hadn’t taken control of your mind, or your body. You were still you, and you would use all of your remaining strength, mentally and physically, to reunite with your family on earth.

The god shifted his head as though catching your silent mantras, looking down at you with an expression almost so unreadable, it seemed on the verge of indifference even. “There is a way. But do you really think I will let you go after I did everything in my power and beyond that just to get you?”

Stretching out his hand, he grabbed your chin, and despite all the twisting and turning that you did, you weren’t able to wind yourself out of his grip. You bared your teeth, hissing under your breath, “I’m not a possession you can decide over. If you won’t let me go, I will do it myself!”

He jerked you towards him with his grip and you let out a squeal that sounded far more worrisome than you had wanted to let slip. But as he had you in control with only his fingers, you couldn’t defy the terrified feeling anymore that settled deep in your bones. It showed all in your eyes when he locked gazes with you, his look the total opposite of yours, stern and determined.

Bringing his lips to your ear, the god whispered, “Try, and we’ll see what happens.”

When his breath hit your skin, you shuddered. But not in a fearful, dreading way as his grip didn’t hurt at all. Goosebumps formed on the spot around your ear, running down to your shoulder and all along your arm, betraying your own body in what you should actually feel right now.

He let you go with a slight smile, observing you from head to toe as though he was able to read your body language. Then, he turned around and left, disappearing into the darkness of the corridor. 

Rage took over this slight moment of irritation when he was gone, making you kick candelabras out of your way, tearing curtains apart and screaming at the underworld that the opened windows revealed: death, isolation and endless darkness. 

And then, despair replaced fury and you broke down crying by the window, calling after your mother and sister.

____

“Mistress, you need to eat something.”

Ara placed a bowl of the same, plain oatmeal next to you on the bed that you, for the third day in a row, refused to eat. You had lost all your appetite, spending day and night in what had been assigned to be your bedroom, sleeping and weeping. Though day and night didn’t differ much from each other down here as you had figured. The days consisted of threatening red sky, the nights of dangerous darkness.

“You also have to change your clothes, mistress. I selected a few from the closet.”

“Why won’t he let me go home?” you whispered, turning to the window side away from her and watching the red sky fade into the black one as one single tear slowly rolled down your cheek. “Why do I need to stay here?”

“Once you’re here, it’s not so easy to go home, mistress. Almost impossible even.”

“Then why did he bring me here in the first place?” Your voice was hoarse from all the crying the days before, hair greasy and sticking to your skin, eyes puffy and swollen. “I’ve always tried so hard to be a good girl again. Do I still deserve this? Is this my very own punishment?”

“I don’t know what you mean, mistress, but it’s odd,” Ara stated nearly absent-mindedly, “the way you humans think. There are humans who would do anything to get into the godly realms, demanding entry into a harem or only bearing the child of one. You’re the first I encounter who doesn’t want all this.” 

“What do those humans expect from this?” 

“Endless satisfaction, glory and youth, mistress. In the godly realms, you cannot age.”

You chuckled bitterly. “Of course.” 

“Doesn’t this sound alluring to you too?” Ara wanted to know with genuine curiosity. “My master would be willing to offer you anything you want.”

“Absolutely not,” you instantly refused. “Having all your beloved ones die one after another until you’re all alone… for eternity? I wouldn’t be able to live like that, possessing all that richness but not what’s most important to me. The only thing I want is my family, nothing else.”

Ara fell into silence. “I don’t have a family, so I cannot relate. It’s nice to meet someone who adores their family though and doesn’t want to unalive them like most gods.” 

“I’m sorry.” You turned back around to her. “What happened to your family?”

“Nothing.” She was smiling again. “I’m an ordinary sprite with no powers, I don’t know where I originate from. That’s what we all are here… powerless in our nature, so we end up in a serving position. But I’m not sad about it. I have a purpose for eternity, it’s better than wandering around with no direction.”

You watched Ara spreading out the dresses on the huge bed. They were all in your favorite pastel colors, the color of the flowers that bloomed in your mother’s garden, the material so luxurious and soft upon touching the hem with your finger tips, you were sure you would have never been able to afford even one dress under normal circumstances.

If this was Ara’s only purpose in life, who were you to refuse her offer? A simple favor for someone who had been taking care of you, nothing more. Perhaps, changing your clothes after three days wasn’t a bad idea either. You sat up and inspected each dress in detail while asking, 

“You said humans demand entry to the godly realms, Ara. Where are they? The people in the harem here, for example.”

Given the possibility of staying young and wandering around in these rich clothes forever, living a lush lifestyle, you could very well imagine that other humans would do anything to be in your position now. But you weren’t one of those, you didn’t care about luxury, goods and money.

“My master doesn’t have a harem, mistress, nor do other mortals live here in his palace. It’s only us, other houseworkers and servants.”

“Oh. I was expecting…” You didn’t know what you had expected, but you weren’t surprised either. The darkness in this kingdom wasn’t very inviting to live in until eternity after all. 

“How about this dress, mistress?” Ara held up a light blue gown made of silk with long, almost translucent sleeves and cut-out in the back. You had never worn something as daring but also as beautiful as this. “I will bathe you and do your hair the way you prefer.”

“What would I need it for?” Only now you noticed that your stomach was growling. Although plain oats didn’t smell deliciously tempting, your body was telling you that you desperately needed to be fed. You already saw yourself giving in to your needs and devouring the oatmeal.

“To meet with my master,” Ara replied as though a given, and you froze.

“No!” you protested, causing her to flinch at your loud erupt. “Tell him I’m not going to meet up with him nor do I ever want to see him again! Even if I die here, I don’t ever want to see him again. I will find a way out myself and I will escape from this place. This, you can tell him.”

“My master assumed that you’d react this way, so he wants you to know that if you meet up with him tonight, he will tell you how your family is doing.”

Your stomach hollowed and not only from hunger as dread filled the empty space and your fingers gripped the sheets, tensely. You suddenly felt so sick at the thought of what he could do to your family out there if he really was so powerful. Would it now always be like this? That he would threaten and you had to comply for the sake of your beloved ones’ safety?

“Fine.”

In the bathroom, where Ara gently scrubbed your skin with oil that smelled of meadows, massaged your scalp in calming rhythms and washed your hair with white foam, you broke out in tears again, but she didn’t say a word and let you cry in silence. At home, bathing was a luxury you were only able to enjoy once a week in a small wooden basin.

Your homesickness came in waves, especially in the evenings when you missed the warm body of your little sister pressed into you from behind, the bed way too small for the both of you, but she was always refusing to sleep at your mother’s side on the bigger mattress as she felt too old for that already.

When Ara dried your body and hair, you were still weeping, but her careful yet comfortable treatment made it all a bit more bearable.

____

“Have a seat, little rose.”

The god was seated at the head on the far end of the long table, and although your set of plate and cutlery were placed right next to his, you seated yourself on a chair opposite of him where you were the farthest away. Immediately, a servant came by to relocate the tableware.

“Don’t call me that.” 

“Don’t you like that name?” he asked, arrogantly feigning offense. “I think it matches very well with you. A flower from earth, looking and smelling so beautifully, but bearing sharp thorns that she’s not afraid to use.”

At first, you were confident to interpret his words as an insult, but when you repeated them in your head once more, you weren’t sure whether they leaned more towards a compliment as there was something in his tone that gave the impression, and it irritated you very much.

“Why have you moved away from me?” The god leniently crossed his hands behind his head and leaned back on his chair, no crown adorning his hair this time. “You don’t have to be afraid. If I wanted to hurt you, you would surely not sit here now, invited to dine with me.” 

“Afraid?” You frowned at him and lifted your chin. “I’m not afraid of you. I just don’t want to be near you for your own sake, in case I want to stab you. Though depending on what you have to tell me about my family, I can’t guarantee it won’t still happen.”

Amusement played around the god’s lips in the form of a smug smile, your answer apparently surprising him entirely. “You’re a very interesting one, little rose, I must admit.”

“Is that why I’m here? Because you find me interesting?”

The servant placed a napkin on your lap, causing your mouth to water already. You were dreaming of a feast consisting of meat, potatoes, vegetables and fruits. At home, those things were rarely served together, but you assumed that in a palace as huge as this, it was something you could look forward to for dinner. 

In such a rare moment, you allowed yourself to be greedy. Mutedly begging for apology, you thought that if it stayed in your head only like all the other things you had sinned for, it wouldn’t taint your image anymore. Nobody had to know if you didn’t voice it out or act on it obviously.

“I find many things interesting.” The god snipped his fingers and you flinched. “But boring humans don’t belong to that category.”

“Yet, you stole one of these boring humans away to make her your bride.”

The next moment, another servant opened the door and brought in two bowls, one placed in front of him, the other in front of you. You were trying your best to hide your disappointed expression, but were sure that you failed when you saw what was in the bowl: plain porridge like the past few days and what you had nipped on shortly before. And 

“Others would trade everything they have to be in your place now.”

Your fingers hovered over the cutlery, but you withdrew them again, not wanting to give in yet, despite your stomach making demanding noises that mustn’t have passed by the god himself. Either this was his way of subtly punishing you while you were residing here, but that wouldn’t explain why he didn’t eat something else in front of you. Or this was the only food served in the underworld. Neither assumption satisfied you. 

“I’m not like others. I’m not a boring simpleton. I have responsibilities, a family to take care of. How can I reside here in peace when my family cannot even afford a life without me?”

“Because now they can,” he replied simply.

You tilted her head in confusion. “What?” 

“Let me assure you that your family has been taken care of. The day I brought you here, they were greatly supplied with a chest consisting of pure gold that will last them their lifetime and the generations after them.”

You shuddered visibly, having no intention to pay weight to his words. “That’s not the main reason. How am I supposed to reside in this palace and live carefreely when I cannot be certain my family is healthy and happy every day, when I’m not there to witness how they do without me?” 

“Such a peculiar way of thinking, I have never encountered this before,” he carefully said. “The humans who trade and bargain with us gods just to get the same privileges as you never look back, not even the ones who hadn’t decided on their own to enter the godly realms. When they see what kind of lifestyle awaits them here, they fold instantly. But you aren’t so selfish. You’re right. You’re no ‘such’ mortal. Maybe I shouldn’t have picked a flower with thorns like you, little rose.”

“Then set me free.” You glared at him across the table. “My family doesn’t care about gold or money. We just want to be together.”

He pursed his lips and sighed. “As I said, it’s difficult.”

“I don’t trust you,” you eventually pressed through gritted teeth, resting your fingers on the edge of the bowl, then pushing the porridge away from you. “I don’t believe anything you say.”

He leaned forward and propped his elbows on the table in preparation to speak with his attention only on you. “I have no reason to lie to you, but I also won’t force you to trust me. I’m just telling you that I understand if you’re wary, considering the circumstances.” 

“Then tell me why you keep me captured,” you demanded again, suppressing your surprise over his honesty.

“And then you will eat?” You didn’t understand why he even cared in the first place if the porridge wasn’t poisoned, but agreed with a slight nod just to get the reply out of him. “Fine. You’re here, because I need a wife to keep me company. I can offer you everything a female human could ever dream of - a luxurious home with endless space, dresses in all colors under the rainbow, delicious food that doesn’t even grow on earth, and gold to fulfill all your further needs.”

You gulped visibly, but held his gaze. So the porridge truly was punishment only, physically and emotionally.  “That’s… that’s all?”

He shrugged, not touching his bowl either, you noticed. “Truth to be told, I thought it would be easier according to the stories I’ve been told. Other gods own harems full of humans who live lavish lifestyles until all eternity.”

“So I heard,” you retorted, utterly grossed out.

“I also admit that, apparently, I know nothing about humans.” A smile tugged on the corner of his lips that quickly evaporated again. Or had it only been in your imagination? “Certainly not about ones like you.”

You cocked a brow. “Humans like me?”

“Strong-willed, demanding, determined. Either I am very lucky in choosing you as my wife. Or rather unfortunate. We’re going to figure it out, right?”

“Again, I am not going to be your wife.” When he didn’t make a move to add something, you asked, “That’s all? That’s why I’m here? Because you needed a wife and I was just… there?”

Frankly, the god apparently didn’t know what else to tell you, what you wanted to hear from him. Did you know yourself, though? What kind of explanation did you expect to make you understand your current situation better? 

“That’s all.”

With a start, you jumped out of your seat, the chair making squealing noises as you pushed it along the marbled floor. You glared at him so deathly, it would possibly make every other god fear your presence. But he didn’t budge. 

“I’d rather die.”

____

“My master wanted me to bring you here, because he assumed you would feel a bit better in an environment resembling your home.”

A few more days had passed without you having to meet the god again, plain porridge being brought by Ara directly to your room, assuring you that real food was still being withheld from you, but you also didn’t want to ask and cave. You weren’t crying every day anymore, either because there were no tears left or because you knew it was for vain.

You hadn’t entirely given up though. The god and Ara both had implied that there was a way for you to return. Even if it might be almost impossible, almost was not entirely. But if neither of them were going to tell or show you how, you would rather figure it out yourself than sit here in captivity and boredom if either possibility would result in you not seeing your family ever again.

So it was a lucky coincidence that Ara had brought you to the palace’s garden, and you would lie if you said that you weren’t in the least bit impressed about it, because it had everything you had ever dreamed of growing and tending back at home.

You stood there, on green grass with your fine slippers, feeling every soily bump beneath your soles, and what you encountered amazed you very much. Patterned throughout the grass were different paths made of cobblestone, passing by rose bushes, colorful flower beds, perfectly trimmed hedges and marble statues that all came together in the middle of the location where a fountain made of limestone stood out, water splashing all around.

“This is magnificent!” you called out and followed the path that led to the center, the entire colorful and playful setting building a stark contrast to the red sky, but this was what made it insanely beautiful too, you had to admit. “I didn’t know something would be able to grow here!” Since you had been brought to the underworld, there was finally something that remotely awoke interest inside of you and let you push your pain and despair to the back of your head only for a little while.

“Contrary to popular belief, we can also grow fruits and vegetables here. See?”

Ara pointed at a tree that you were passing, red pomegranates hanging from the branches. After weeks of nearly tasteless porridge that was supposed to break your iron will, only the image of the crimson seeds caused your mouth to water immediately. They had been withholding this from you all along? The things you would have done just to taste something different were unimaginable, and you stretched out your hand, reaching for the fruit. You were just so hungry…

“Careful!” Ara warned you.

You reclined your hand, alarmed. “What is it?”

“Seven seeds.” A manly vice from behind you let you jump. “Seven seeds only, and you’ll be stuck here forever. Take one and you won’t be able to stop, because they taste so ungraspable wonderfully on a human tongue. Everything growing in the underworld will bind you to this realm and you will never be able to return to earth ever again.” The god walked towards you both and Ara did a curtsy while you refused to copy her greeting. “Thank you for bringing her here, you’re dismissed, Ara.”

You were petrified when a thought slowly sank in while the servant left you both alone. “But I’ve been eating-”

“Mortal food all along,” the god clarified. Today, he was dressed more casually and wasn’t wearing a crown like the last time you had met, you silently remarked. “That’s why you were served plain oats only. At least they always taste the same. Everything else we bring down here from earth rots right away. They’re living things, not made for death.”

You looked at the pomegranate tree, then back at him. You had been served porridge from your first day on before you even met, and a few days ago, he had been served the same dish as you, hadn’t he? Why? “You could have easily fed me these all along, and I wouldn’t have known. Why haven’t you?”

“I decide over the fates of the dead humans, not the living. I guess I always wanted to give you a choice, no matter how slim this chance might be. Deep inside, I assume I just couldn’t take someone against their will entirely.” His honesty bewildered you. That was not what he had indicated the first time you talked. “Even if you’re a human, you always have a choice. Even now you do.”

“I haven’t been given the choice whether I wanted to come down here,” you spoke monotonously, shaking off the expression he directed at you that nearly bordered sympathy. 

The god lifted his hand and plucked a pomegranate from the tree. Twisting it apart and presenting the red seeds in equal halves to you, your tongue instantly lusted after the taste of the fruit’s delicious flesh. You had only tasted pomegranate seeds once in your life, back then when you had saved enough money to buy a half from a piepowder. But you still remembered that moment very well, because it was so special.

“I was probably too naive as I have never been to the mortal world myself. I could only rely on what the other gods told me, and they all said the same thing.”

“Which was?” You averted your eyes from the pomegranate halves before you went insane from hunger. 

“That humans would do anything to live in the godly realms, leeching off everything they were offered, such as luxury and eternal youth. That humans are simpletons you could control, could do anything with.” He clearly saw you gulping, which was probably why he quickly added, “But I only wanted a wife, so I took my sweet time making a decision that day. A wrong and hasty decision after all, as it turned out that I’m the simpleton here.” He plucked the seeds from the pomegranate halves and placed them into his hand. You counted seven. Then, he squeezed his palm together, red juice dripping from his fingers onto the soil, staining it like blood. “You better make sure not to go near these in case your craving makes you go crazy.”

To weigh yourself in better safety, you turned your face away from him. “How do I get away from here? Tell me.”

The god drew in a sharp breath. “Someone must get you. Someone from earth must come down here and take you back.”

You got a feeling you didn’t want to know the details to that  “And how would they do that?”

To that, he didn’t seem to have a specific answer. “I cannot tell you as I don’t know exactly myself. I heard that there are ways humans can actually summon certain gods, and depending who they are able to reach, they might help if they’re in the mood. The god of the sea demands a human offering for example, but the god of the wind on the other hand just doesn't want his mortal companion to speak a single word all the way to our realms.”

“Why would they do that to humans?” you called out in frustration. “That’s madness!”

“To bargain with a god is a very dangerous game that they love to play all day long. Humans are pawns to them, a mere distraction to their boring lives.” A touch of snideness swung with his explanation that you couldn’t classify yet and thus dismissed.

“And what would you demand to bring humans here if you don’t take them against their will?”

The god rolled his pupils, his patience seemingly still not wearing out while you just wouldn’t let go of this topic when he replied full with regained composure, “Nobody ever did that, it’s quite not possible since my kingdom is separated from the mortal realms. But the gods of the elements or other parts of the earth are always there.”

“So that means… My mother and my sister have to find their own way to come down here. And depending on who they can reach out to, they either face an impossible quest or death?”

“Not very positively worded, but right.” He shrugged. “I guess so. Of course this applies to any human who would search for you, not only to them.”

“And before that happens, I will need to stay here?” 

“That’s correct.”

When you sucked in a rush of air, he braced himself for an outburst, but you only asked with a threatening calmness, “Why me?”

For such a question, the god apparently wasn’t prepared well enough. And even if… you were sure his answer wouldn’t have changed from the following dissatisfying one, “As I said, I was given the chance to wander the earth for a day and choose a wife.”

“That’s not what I meant. I asked ‘Why me?’ What did I do? Why not someone else?”

For the first time, you got the impression that you had taken him off guard as he raised his brows, not to talk back haughtily, but because he was genuinely confused and didn’t know how to answer. “Why… you? I can’t exactly say why you…” 

“So, the fact that I’m here is merely a coincidence?” There was a sharp edge to the way you uttered these words, and you nearly felt sorry. Nearly.

“I wouldn’t say that,” he patiently defended himself in that situation. “It was still my own decision. But the reason…”

“Be quiet! I have never been given a choice!” You laid your palms flat against his chest, pushing him away from you while anger burned beneath your skin like fever. He stumbled backwards although he could fight you easily. But he didn’t. “You have robbed me of that decision the day you stole me away! You have only fed me mortal food to satisfy your own conscience, but I have never been given a choice in the first place! Don’t talk to me like you actually respect humans, because you don’t!”

You saw him startled as if he were human too, a natural, human reaction, and that fueled your anger even more. “But if someone comes to-”

“Nobody will come to get me!” you yelled. “Nobody will come, because my mother and sister aren’t able to! I only have them, no one else! I’ll be stuck here, and all because of you! I have no free will! You have chosen the only human with no choice at all!”

You spun around on your heel and left the garden with him not following suit. And you were glad about it as the first tears started to fall again.

______

You spent your days restlessly wandering through the entire palace and the connecting garden, with no real destination other than the intention of wanting to make time pass in hope something life-alternating would happen. But it never did.

You rarely saw the god and you were grateful for that, only remaining in contact with Ara and the other servants. But despite them trying their best, they weren’t able to fill the gap your family had left. With each passing day, the hole inside of you grew larger. And with each passing day, you wondered how much bigger it must still grow until it made you end this once and for all.

Once again, you were standing in the garden, listening to the stream while having to watch the god cross the bridge every morning and evening to ride somewhere past the horizon as you started to notice a few days ago. You had never asked him about where he was going even though you were very curious about what laid beyond the river. If you wanted to find out though…

“I wouldn’t even think about it,” you heard an unknown male voice talk behind you that wasn’t as deep as this palace’s owner. “That’s the river of oblivion. Once you fall into it, you forget where you are, what you are and first and foremost… who you are.”

You spun around and encountered a man only a bit shorter than the god of this place with flaming, dark red hair, donned in all black with golden embellishments. You had never seen him here before, and his glamorous garments as well as sophisticated and elegant aura gave away that he was not a servant, but of a much higher status and with much power.

“Jaehyun told me that he had taken in a human to make his wife, so I wanted to see her myself.”

Jaehyun… In comparison to the god of this realm whose name was Jaehyun as you now knew, this person had a much friendlier appearance with a smile that was inviting and a voice that sounded playful. “And you are…?”

“The god of sun and light, and everything bright and pleasant. I’m very pleased to meet you, mistress.”

He stretched out his hand and took your fingers into his. Oddly, you didn’t withdraw but let him do so as you weren’t scared of him. After everything that had happened to you these past weeks, you felt numb to almost everything.

You sucked in a rush of air though as he lifted your hand and led it to his lips, pressing a kiss on our knuckles and causing you to gasp in surprise. It was not your first physical interaction with a man apart from your family, but the first with no ulterior motif from either side, a chaste and respectful gesture. You were taken aback and impressed at the same time.

“I must admit… if I were Jaehyun, I would have chosen you as well.”

You were flattered, but not impressed. “It doesn’t change the fact that I don’t like being here.”

“After all this time you still think like this?” He raised his brows. “I’m impressed. Every other mortal would have caved already.”

“Well… I’m not like them.”

“Obviously.” He tilted his head and smiled again. “Have you ever tried getting accustomed to this place? It’s not as boring as it looks like. Especially beyond the river. Even though I prefer the light, this darkness has something comforting, I must admit.”

“Enough, Taeyong,” another male voice cut through the air that you knew very well. “I didn’t invite you here today to put ideas into her head.”

“Even I see her potential, Jaehyun,” your new acquaintance talked back immediately. “Take her with you to the ha-”

“I said enough,” the god interrupted. “She has expressed more than once that she wants to go home, so if you don’t have a solution for that, I would rather have you stay quiet.”

“What is there?” you urged the sun god to speak, suddenly full of hope again. “What is beyond the river?”

But it was the underworld’s god that answered instead, “There is only death, so don’t even think about escaping through these lands. There is no way you will make it out there alive all by yourself.”

And with that, the topic was closed as he disappeared with the sun god back into the palace, leaving you behind in wonder about what there still was to this realm that you had to unravel. If you wanted to unravel that.

Later that evening, you caught Taeyong intending to leave through the main entrance, luckily all by himself. You jumped out from your den, causing him to nearly get a heart attack judging by the way he leapt back with a scream, and asked with a hushed voice,

“What is beyond the river of oblivion?”

Your fingers grabbed the sleeves of his shirt, and he leaned in to you, replying with an equally low tone, “He’s right, there is only death. But that is probably what you are looking for.”

And with another smile, he left through the gates, having opened up more questions than actually having answered one. 

____

“Where are you going?”

Jaehyun cocked his head to the side on his way out of the palace when he got surprised by you in the entrance hall the next day. “Underworld duties.”

“Take me with you,” you demanded, noticing that he was formally dressed and wearing his crown again as always when he left the palace. “It’s where you always leave to, right? Take me with you.”

He frowned. “What?”

“You heard me very well. I want to come with you,” you repeated and approached him until you stood right in front of him, already fully dressed in a cloak that Ara had pulled out of the closet for you. “Take me with you.”

He looked down at you, then let out an ambiguous chuckle. “You think if I take you with me out there, you will find a way to escape? You can put that idea right out of your mind. As a mortal, there are more gruesome fates than falling into the river of oblivion that will await you when you roam out there freely all by yourself. This is the underworld, after all.”

It didn’t pass by you that he, for the first time, used the term ’mortals’, not ‘humans’, a fine but significant difference. You wondered whether not all gods and sprites and whatever creatures also resided here were immortal. And if he was immortal too.

It was as though he could read everything shooting through your mind at that moment. Skepticism, anger, disappointment, then again, hope. He had seen right through you. But perhaps not entirely though as there was something he hadn’t discovered yet: the slight seed of curiosity that had been planted by the god of sun yesterday.

What was beyond the river that you were supposedly looking for? 

“Still,” you brought yourself to say and clenched your fists, moving your feet in restlessness.  “Take me with you. What am I supposed to do here all day, all by myself?” 

“No,” the god roared, deep and dominant, and you actually withdrew in response to his suppressed outburst. Regret turned visible in his expression as though he hadn’t intended to sound so harsh as he continued gentler, “No mortal has ever roamed the grounds of hell, and I won’t be the first one to allow one to do so.”

But you wouldn’t give in so easily. “Take me with you nonetheless!” You took a few steps forward until you stood right in front of him and with your fists, you now hammered against his chest. “Take. Me. With. You!” 

Coming down at his strong muscles with your hands over and over again, it felt like striking against those palace stone walls, sharp pain shooting up to your shoulders with each forceful motion, and it made you even madder. You now screamed, wanting your way and letting your anger and despair all out - but he withstood it all.

Even when you exhausted yourself, you didn’t give up, even when your motions grew slower and sloppier, your breathing more irregular. That was until he caught your striking fists with his palms, stopping your rebelling behavior with a single grip, obviously fed up now. His hands were so big in comparison to yours, and so unexpectedly warm and strong too.

“You done?” the god asked relaxedly when you had finally stopped fidgeting.

You had your teeth bared, glaring at him, but you weren't physically fighting anymore. Your chest heaved up and down, in unison with his, and for a moment, you both had your gazes locked, surveying each other until a smile raised the corners of his mouth, and it wasn’t in the least bit mocking.

You became aware of the fact that the god was still holding your hands, but it was something entirely else from when the sun god had taken yours into his. They were both gestures with different intentions, but somehow, this one caused your cheeks to heat and change color, and additionally, your heart to skip half a beat. 

With feigned disgust, you scowled and shook him off, then hid your arms behind your back in the safety of the cloak.

“I’ll get the horse prepared for two people.” The god looked at you for a second too long, which irritated you very much, then spun around. You didn’t know what had made him change his mind, but in the end, it didn’t matter. “Pull up the hood and make sure to protect your face at all times. The ride can get really dusty.”

As you followed him outside, there was a black-maned horse waiting for you both. You stood behind him, intimidated and amazed by the enormous animal at the same time. 

“Immortal horses are fascinating, aren’t they?” he asked you. “Every god owns at least one divinely-bred.”

He swung upon the horse’s back after a servant had saddled it properly for two, moving backwards to leave more space in the front. The next moment, he had grabbed you by your waist and heaved you on the horse’s back like you weighed nothing. Luckily, your skirts were wide enough for you to settle your legs on either side of the animal. 

The god then hauled you against his chest with one swift motion, his strong forearm pressed into your upper stomach. Before you could snap for air, he loosened his grip on you again, but left his hand resting right under your ribcage, always on the alert to secure your position if you tended to teeter too much to one side. You swallowed hard as the horse started galloping, and before you could notice, the both of you had already crossed the dangerous bridge with its eerie turquoise water, snippets flashing by that you only caught from the corner of your periphery under your wide hood. 

You knew your attention shouldn’t be on the main rider’s free hand gripping hard on the reins that made his veins pop out and your thoughts spinning with fantasies you had never had of him before, but you couldn’t turn your thoughts away from it either. Pleasant goosebumps ran all down your spine whenever you lost your balance for a second and his strong arm around your middle reared you right back.

You didn’t want this. Of course, as a young woman, you had needs and also a fair share of past experiences, but none of it had ever surfaced since you were residing here.

Until now.

____

While you were riding along the rolling plains, you came to a terrifying solution: The redness of the sky didn’t come from the sun and neither from another natural source of light in the underworld that would resemble a planet back up there on earth. In fact, they came from fields far out there close to the horizon. These fields were burning, flames ascending to the sky whose tips you only witnessed when you passed and eventually came to a stop close by.

“These are the torture fields,” the god told you. “It’s where souls reside who I refuse to let be reborn. As you might have figured by now, it’s why our sky is always red. The flames never diminish, they only get concealed by the god of sky during night time upon my request.”

“Why did you request for him to conceal it?”

“The red sky reminds me of what I’m doing, what my destiny as the god of the underworld is. If I can request for a few hours of peace where I’m not reminded of the souls on the torture fields that I sent down there myself, that I am the one causing this red sky, I would do anything for it.”

It was the second time he willingly let you take a quick glance behind his facade, his cold and dark exterior. You wondered whether there was still way more you would need to discover. But would you really want to?

“What’s the fate of those on these torture fields?” you asked instead.

“Imagine the worst pain you’ve ever felt. Maybe you have once broken a bone or sustained a similar fracture. Now, that’s not even the full extent of pain a human is able to feel. Multiply it by a thousand. That’s close to the pain you have to endure day and night, for all eternity. Frightening, isn’t it?”

Frightening didn’t even come close to describe the lump in your throat right now. A cold shudder ran down your spine despite you putting much effort into not letting your true emotions slip. “Do they literally burn there on the fields?”

“Something like that, yes. If you listen carefully, little rose, you can even hear their screams. My palace is located too far away, but right now, we’re close enough to hear their faint noises.” He brought the horse to a halt and gave you a sign to remain silent as well. “Listen.”

You did. From the direction of the torture fields, you heard a feeble clamor as though someone was constantly pressing on a piano’s keyboard, and the tone never subsided. It was a very faint sound, but so eerie that it made the hair on your arms stand up. You imagined pain so gravely, you were never able to stop screaming in agony despite the exhaustion. For all eternity.

“Don’t worry, little rose,” the god reassured you, and you didn’t flinch when he soothingly nudged your side. It had something calming to it. “Someone like you won’t ever land on the torture fields.”

You wished you could believe him and gulped, hard. “What kind of souls would find their fate here?”

“Murderers mostly, to summon it up. But I decide over all their fates individually, so it might also be possible that someone has committed a grave crime that doesn’t include murder and still ends up on the torture fields. And vice versa.”

You had been holding in your breath and only noticed when you let out a rush of air. “I see.”

“Why are you so tense, little rose?” the god expressed his concern that seemed genuine to you. “Someone as pure as you and with a heart as strong as yours would surely get another chance at life.”

“You don’t know me,” you answered repellently, but didn’t shake off his hand that had magically found its way on your shoulder as though he wanted to comfort you physically like a human, but didn’t exactly know how. “You know nothing about me, you cannot tell.”

“That’s true. But I cannot imagine you being a human who deserves to experience endless torture, and I’ve been with my duties for way longer than I can remember.”

“Perhaps, there are times where even you will get surprised.” It was intended to be a joke, but your dry voice didn’t make the sentence sound like one, which was why you added a light, choking laughter. 

“What could you have possibly done? Slept with someone before marriage? Screw that, just have fun. Stolen groceries? A peccadillo, nothing grave to be noted down, and even minuscule when you were poor and suffering from hunger. What else? Hurt someone? Most people only physically hurt when they feel threatened or have been hurt themselves before. I could tell you many, many more examples that won’t justify a destiny on the torture fields for you.”

You weren’t an appropriate girl in any sense as you had done all of the things he listed, and even many more. Feeling bound to your family for your whole life, you had never quite treasured your virginity until marriage like every other girl and had had way too much fun in the miller’s barn with his eldest son before you came here. Whenever you seemed short of groceries, you had developed a few tricks where letting fruits and vegetables slip into your bag during market visits always went unnoticed. And you randomly and happily thought back to the time you had once smacked a boy who had made fun of your sister and your situation.

And the god of the underworld wanted to tell you that these were all still justifiable? 

“No human is untainted, free of sins, little rose,” he continued. “But that doesn’t make every person a bad one. As a matter of fact, the majority are good people, and I can sense them from a mile away. You’re not a bad person who deserves to endure agony for eternity.”

You rather let him believe for as long as he could.

Though he added, “Everything will come out in the hall of judgment anyway.”

“The hall of judgment?” you asked carefully.

“Where we’re headed to now. That’s where I comply with my duties as the god of the underworld.” As though he noticed your disarray, he added with an edge, “You wanted to come with me, right? So be prepared for that.”

Nothing could have prepared you for what was about to come next.

____

The hall of judgment was a massive cave rather than an actual hall in the semi-darkness of a mountain range that had the river of oblivion flow through. The hollowed ceiling was carried by large pillars merging seamlessly with the stony inside, a long carpet indicating the way. There were only several candles alit, the flames mirrored and broken in the river that threw the reflected lighting into all directions. 

You were sitting next to the god on a throne of which you were unsure whether it had been there for your entire stay already as he had initially intended you to be his wife. Nonetheless, it made you feel inquisitive and intimidating at the same time, as though you didn’t belong there but couldn’t request being placed elsewhere either.

“This is where the souls face me, where I decide about their fate. And today, you will assist me,” the god explained after he had settled next to you.

“Assist you?” You weren’t repressed, but rather intrigued about what was going to happen here.

“You’re not going to watch me only, you’re going to judge yourself, whether you send a soul into the river of oblivion from where they will start a new life or send them to the torture fields for eternal pain.”

You frowned, full of suspicion whether you had heard right. “Pardon me? I will decide about their fate? Me?”

“Exactly,” he confirmed with a proud smile.

You raised a brow, but didn’t refuse instantly, to your very own surprise too. “How do I know what happened to them?”

“They will tell you.”

“And if they don’t speak the truth?”

“In the hall of judgment, you are only allowed to speak the truth, otherwise you cannot answer.”

You had many more questions, but since you had already delayed your arrival, you decided to remain silent and just watch. You trusted him to tell you what to do and when to do, and until then, you would only observe. To your clear surprise, a human in its physical shape walked in the next moment, a young boy, not even ten years of age just yet. Just like your sister. 

“They all remain in their human form so as to not shock them,” the god explained quietly while the boy made its way towards you. “They will lose their physical shape once I make my judgment, but by then, they won’t remember anymore.”

Your expression changed from perplexity to empathy when you encountered the state the young boy was in, ragged clothes, no shoes. He explained that he came right from the streets, having lived there for a few years already.

The child was nervously kneading his wrinkled hat in his hands as he stuttered, “M-my father died overseas w-when I was only a baby. My- my mother was the sole one t-to get us through the first years. U-until we ran out of money. Sh-she died shortly after and I… I had to start living on the streets a-all by myself.”

“For how many years did you live on the streets?” you asked empathically, not knowing whether you were even allowed to, but it didn’t matter to you at this point. You felt so much sympathy for him, your heart ached.

The boy dropped his head. “Three years.”

You gasped inaudibly, not wanting to unsettle the boy. Instead, you forced yourself to smile, the sorrow undertone hidden by concealing happiness. “You did well. For your age, you did so well. You can be proud of yourself. Your mother surely is too.”

“C-can I ask how did I die?”

“You slept in peacefully and didn’t wake up,” you started, and the god frowned, but didn’t interrupt you, which you appreciated. ”It was really cold, but it didn’t bother you, because for you, it felt like a warm blanket that you got enveloped in. Perhaps, almost like the one in your former home with which your mom would tuck you in. Did you have something like that?”

With sparkles in his eyes, the boy nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, I remember!”

“Very well. That moment, you dreamed back to your warm house where there were the three of you. You died peacefully, engulfed in a dream that felt like reality.”

The boy started crying, and you wanted to get up with the intention of offering him a comforting embrace, but the god’s hand latched out onto yours, holding you back. Locking your gazes, he shook his head and you slowly settled back on your throne. “Dead souls cannot be touched,” he whispered only for you to hear. “Otherwise they are doomed to wander these lands forever as nightmarish creatures.”

“W-what w-ill m-m-my judgment b-be?” the boy hiccuped as you shifted your attention back to him.

You held yourself back this time to leave the decision to the god himself, but he remained quiet, only giving you a squeeze with his fingers that were still covering yours, both of your hands lying on your side of the armrest. Then, he nodded encouragingly.

So you spoke softly, “You will get to leave this miserable life behind. You will get to start a new life. You don’t have to suffer anymore.”

“Thank you.”

And while he was still expressing his gratitude, the god caught you shedding some light tears yourself, but you were smiling throughout them in all honesty, because you were so happy that the little boy wouldn’t need to continue living in a world that had been so cruel to him.

When the boy followed a servant to the outside after the god had officially pronounced the sentence that you had decided on, he started explaining, “The moment they step into the hall, I know their backstories, I have to tell you. They only explain their own opinion and point of view to me. Since you don’t have that privilege, I let them tell their backstories too. For the little boy, he actually died wh-”

“No,” you declined determinedly, emphasized by the shake of your head. “I don’t want to know. Perhaps, you don’t understand, but I’m not immune to feelings unlike you who has been doing this for so long. There is only so much I can take in and carry before every single story will break me apart over and over again. Perhaps, it’s better this way, safer. I want to stand by the stories I tell them.”

“I’m not immune either.” The look you shared that followed was something between surprise and a mutual understanding, until he followed up, “So you want to remain?” 

“I want to remain.”

In a gesture of encouragement, he squeezed your hand again, only now realizing that he hadn’t let go of it all along and that you hadn’t shaken him off, either.

____

By the evening, the god of the underworld had pronounced the sentence to all souls, you only chiming in when it was a case you could relate to, a case which needed a more emotional approach. In the beginning, it had been an overwhelming feeling for you, holding one’s destiny in your hands as the god of the underworld complied to all the judgments you made without a word of protest. 

It made you feel… powerful. And helpful, equally. You were able to take the pain away from these sad souls and plant a more pleasant last memory of their former life into their invisible hearts. No matter the real circumstances of their deaths, you always spun stories more pleasant for their ears, so the majority of souls were allowed to jump into the pool of oblivion, looking forward to a new life.

“My wife killed me, that bitch.” A middle-aged man spat in front of the dais later that day. “I should have taken her with me.”

You leaned forward, resting your elbows on your thigh as you pricked up your ears. It was late already, and you started to get exhausted which was why the god had suggested going home after this case. Though this case would turn out way more different than the ones before, you could solely tell by looking at the man.

His obvious rampant demeanor had caught your attention right away, so you asked calmly, “Tell me in detail, what did you do to your wife?”

"Nothing!" he defended himself loudly. “I did no-”

You remembered that no one was able to lie in the hall of judgment which was apparently why no tone came out of his mouth anymore despite him continuing blabbering. You averted your eyes to your right, wanting to know how the god would react. 

You didn’t expect anything less than the following, “You really dare lie in front of the god of the underworld himself?”

“Please!” The man dropped to his knees and brought his hands together under his chin. “I did nothing wrong in my opinion!”

“How about we let your mistress decide whether you did something wrong to your wife, hm?” the god asked threateningly, his eyes narrowed.

“I only wanted to teach her a lesson,” the man pressed through gritted teeth. “If she hadn’t stayed out for so long, I wouldn’t have had to use my hands.”

Your fingers cramped around the armrests, uneasiness settling in where also nausea spread in your stomach, but the latter way faster. You already knew the end to the story before he could draw the entire outline. Again, like before when you had met cases that left you nearly breathless, the god’s palm found its way back to your hand, blanketing it, and his warmth somehow soothed your anger, restraining it. Somehow, you felt it had the same effect on him.

“How often did you hurt your wife?” you wanted to hear from the man.

“As often as I needed to.” There was no remorse in his voice. “Wives have to be obedient to their husbands, and if they aren’t, we have to remind them of our higher position.”

Anger burned in your veins, the knuckles on your fingers turning white, and even the god’s reassuring gesture could not hold you back from what you were about to say next anymore, “So you think lowly of women because we are female?”

“It’s what nature prescribes!” the man yelled.

“Do you have children?” you interrogated further, your fingers shaking by now. You were so close to jumping off your seat and physically taking it upon yourself.

“My wife never gifted me with one,” he tsk-ed. “Another task in which she has failed me as a woman.”

A growl was collecting on your tongue, and you nearly let the sound slip if it weren’t for the god cutting you off, “And yet, after your death, you stand in front of one. And this very one is deciding about your fate today.”

“Oh?” The man took a step back. “Forgive me, I haven’t known.”

“How about you tell your mistress about the child you deemed unfitting to continue living, no matter how hard it was for your wife to even conceive in the first place? Or the bar woman you impregnated instead, but chased away because you rather wanted to spend the money on alcohol? Or the rich man you once robbed and killed, all in one night?”

You didn’t need to put a second thought into your decision. He sounded exactly like the kind of man your father had been - ruthless, selfish, and so full of apathy, your chest swelled to the point of exploding.

“To the torture fields with him.”

It was the first time for you to use these words, you didn’t recognize your own voice.

____

You sent a man to the torture fields and you enjoyed it.

Even after returning to the palace, you still weren’t able to digest the latest happenings. Again. And again, like in the past, you didn’t feel any remorse afterwards. You felt satisfaction even.

“Is it always like this?” you asked when you stood in the entrance hall of the dark palace. “This lingering feeling of…”

“... satisfaction.” A slight smirk was playing around the god’s lips when he looked at your eager expression. “Yes. It absolutely is.”

“Wow,” you breathed, overwhelmed by so much power you had never imagined of ever possessing. “But… what if I made the wrong decision?”

Was that what the sun god had wanted you to see? A side inside of you that you had repressed for so long? The potential you offered when you were sitting on the throne right next to the god of the underworld?

“There is no right or wrong in the hall of judgment. There is only one truth. And the truth in that case was that you passed judgment on someone who deserved their fate.” He inhaled deeply before breaking down to you, “That is why I want to offer you the throne next to mine.”

Your head snatched upwards and you drew your brows together in suspicion. “What are you saying?”

“I offer you the title ‘the queen of the underworld’,” he repeated more clearly, gaze unwavering but not inscrutable. He meant every single syllable, no underlying joke in his voice, the smirk entirely gone and his dark eyes clear. 

“I’m not going to be your wife,” you declined immediately again, your voice failing you though, and you were afraid he’d notice.

“I don’t want you to become my wife in that sense if you find that thought so repulsive.” There was a chuckle simultaneously rolling from his tongue. “I offer you the position of the queen of the underworld. I offer you half my kingdom, a throne next to mine and a crown made of darkness, just like mine.”

You stood in front of him, feeling very lost at that moment, but also very intrigued. The words that he uttered, you had never dared to even take them into your mouth, let alone speaking them out. “I-” You opened your mouth, but no refusal came out this time. 

You wanted to reason with your mother and sister, but living here had made you realize that they were probably better off without you if they were going to get taken care of with gold to last generations. If you would ever get the chance to return to earth, you would need to get married to someone you probably loathed and lived a boring life as a housewife.

Then, you wanted to argue with the fact that you missed the sun, nature, flowers and everything earth offered to you. But did you really? On earth, flowers withered at the end of every summer, months of coldness dominating your part of the world for the majority of the year. You started to question whether you would have lived a fulfilling life if you had continued like this, only looking forward to spring and rotting away in boredom when the world got blanketed with snow, fighting for survival, year after year.

Here in the underworld, there were no such things as seasons. The darkness might have appeared threatening at the beginning, but you had slowly started to grow accustomed to the different lightning and the constant pleasant temperature. By now, you had also found beauty in the absolute darkness of the night and the sunset-like sky during daytime. 

A conflict spread out inside of you that you had never imagined of ever leading. Had you already found your true fate back then on earth or have you always been destined for more in another world? 

“You only want me to stay because you feel lonely, that’s why you’re offering me the throne,” was your feeble attempt of rejection. “But I’m not like you, Jaehyun. I cannot live this life here.”

“You are very much like me, little rose,” Jaehyun corrected with a growing, new smile you couldn’t define, and then reminded you, ”Did you forget that destiny doesn’t only mean endless torture? The little boy who you sent into the river of oblivion, he will get the chance to start a new life, leaving the one behind in which he only experienced sorrow and suffering. How did you feel at that moment? Didn’t you feel helpful, relieved or even happy for him? Because that’s what will also be required of you as the queen of the underworld. You’re an executor and a savior both at the same time. You’ll be the most powerful queen to ever exist.”

“T-tell me,” you stuttered, “t-tell me the truth. That day… it might have been a coincidence that you were near me, but what made you choose me?”

It couldn’t have been a coincidence only. There must be more to it. There must be a reason you were here now, a sign that this was your fate for which you had always been destined. It would give you the ultimate assurance, a reason less to doubt your entire existence.

“Aren’t you one sneaky little thing, my rose? I wanted to tell you that day already, but you weren’t ready to hear.” Jaehyun stretched out his hand and let the tip of his index finger run along your chin. You shuddered - in full pleasure so obvious, he must have felt it too. And he must have also felt your disappointment when he withdrew his hand again. “Before you appeared here… I mean, before I stole you - pardon me - I was very lonely. So I asked for one day on earth to search for a fitting wife as I haven’t found one among my own kind. But who I got drawn to, precisely by their sugary scent that even overshadowed the flowers and morning dew wrapped pollen on the fingers, wasn’t a timid daisy in a bed full of asters. It was a rose itself who harbored thorns, and I believe, deep within, I knew all along that I finally found someone not only fit to warm my bed, but to reign alongside me. Seldomly have I met someone so strong-willed and fierce like you, lest a mortal. If you decide against the crown of immortal flowers that I offer you, it will be really unfortunate for me as I paid a huge price for getting you.”

You gulped. “...Which price?” 

“I will never be allowed on earth again.”

You understood why he wanted a companion as you couldn’t imagine living at such a huge place all by yourself either. The corridors were long, dark and branched, servants strictly following their duties and always keeping their distance to their master despite him treating them respectfully. Then, there were the endless rolling plains with nothing but dust and nightmarish creatures. The darkness from the underworld must have taken over his heart a long time ago as well, and he was looking for a glimmer of light.

You just weren’t sure whether you were the right one. He hadn’t been able to give you the entire reassurance you still needed.

“That’s unfortunate,” you brought yourself to say eventually. “But I can’t.”

A strand of your hair got lifted up, and he twirled it around his finger, observing it closely and seemingly enjoying the softness that curled around his skin. You had never seen him so at your mercy and apologetic before. “I only had one chance that would define my own destiny which will last an eternity. If I made the wrong choice in selecting you, I am deeply sorry. If there was more that I could tell you, I would. But there isn’t. You were there, and I wanted you. Why don’t you want me too, little rose?”

Your breathing came in hitches. “What would that make me, Jaehyun?”

Leaving your family behind to live in sin here in the underworld. It would make you an outcast, someone expelled from society, someone with no dignity. But then again, when had you ever been someone who was worth more on earth? Weren’t you exactly where you were supposed to be, where darkness reigned like the one which occupied your heart ever since that fateful day a century ago?

Jaehyun’s hand was now on the side of your face, and you fought the urge to nestle against his palm. You relished the feeling the tip of his thumb made when he brushed it over your cheek though, and you wanted more of it, all over your body precisely. You just knew it would be entirely different than what you had experienced with mortal men before. But then again - what would that make you?

“It would make you a human,” Jaehyun calmed you, his expression smoothening despite the obvious threat on his throat. “Just like you are. Don’t you ever forget that. You are allowed to accept every part of you, to feel everything you’re harboring.”

“But it’s just… so hard,” you whispered, unsure what he was even talking about anymore, you being queen or the possibility of you two sharing more than the throne, but also a bed.

“You are a constellation, waiting to be explored and loved. Did any man who ever tried to court you understand that you were so much more than a maiden hidden away in her house’s backyard? Because I understand.” 

There was something glittering in his eyes despite stars being absent here. You opened your lips and closed them again, fighting so hard against the need of wanting them to taste his. 

“You fought so bravely against it. You can allow yourself to finally let go, little rose,” Jaehyun encouraged you with a low whisper. Again, you were questioning whether he actually meant the darkness in your heart or the need of his lips covering yours.

“I-I-...” You let out a long breath that you had been holding in this entire time and took a step back, away from him and from his alluring appearance. “I’m tired. I will return to my chambers.”

You almost stumbled over your own feet running to your chamber, setting one hasty foot after another. When you reached your room, you locked the door behind you as though you were afraid he might follow you and barge in.

As you laid in your bed shortly later, you caught yourself wishing he had done so. And you also caught yourself having naturally addressed him by his name somewhere along the way.

Like he wasn't a distant god or master anymore. But an equal.

____

“Do humans live with you?” you asked Taeyong the next day after encountering him in the garden, joking around with the servants. 

Apparently, he had had a few duties close by and decided to pay the dark palace a visit. As it came to your attention through him a short while ago, Jaehyun’s palace was described as such by outsiders. 

Taeyong laughed, but the smile that he forced himself to wear meanwhile wasn’t sincere. “No, I don’t support this kind of lifestyle.”

“Why? Don’t get me wrong, I’m on your side, but why does your opinion differ from the other gods?”

“The woman I love is a human, what would that make me, abusing her own kind?”

The pain in his voice couldn’t be ignored, it was too obvious, intended or unintended. But it was not the kind of pain a rejected lover would express. “So you’re in love with a mortal, I see.”

“Not just a mortal, a human,” he corrected. “We gods are all immortal, but there are other creatures such as sprites who are also otherworldly, but can indeed die, so they’re mortal. Some humans here have also gained immortality. Mortals and humans are not the same term.”

He confirmed what you had suspected all along. Finally, you understood why Jaehyun had always spoken about humans only and not about mortals when addressing your kind. It was because in the dark palace, he was the only immortal one. 

“I understand. Then… tell me about her, Taeyong. What makes you so sad about her?”

“The fact that I don’t want to love her, and she doesn’t want me to love her either, but I would even give up on my immortality just to be with her. I would instantly go and trade my immortality despite a god never having done that before, and I don’t even know whether it’s possible, but if, I would in a heartbeat.”

The way he spoke about her, soft and passionate, reminded you of the way Jaehyun spoke to you lately, and suddenly yearning tugged on your heartstring, even though he was only a few yards away from you inside the palace.

“It must be a huge sacrifice for a god to be willing to give up their immortality for a human. It sounds like you sincerely love her.”

“I don’t love her sincerely,” Taeyong continued bluntly, shocking you. But a tinge of the same yearning resonated in his tone too, so you were truly confused about his contradicting reaction. “It’s not the kind of love I wish upon anyone. I haven’t chosen her, but every fiber of my heart longs for her love. One day, it will tear me entirely apart. It will be the day she dies.”

You frowned. “I don’t think I understand…”

“I’m cursed by the god of love. Ironic, isn’t it?” He let out a laugh, but it didn’t sound amused at all, bitter even. “I’m cursed to love her until the end of days, and she’s cursed to not reciprocate it.”

It sounded so sad and unfortunate to you, you didn’t quite know what to say. “I’m so sorry.” You couldn’t imagine how painful it must be to feel and live like this. And what would happen if she died one day? Would he continue loving her and longing for her when all traces of her had evaporated, for all eternity? You repeated, this time much more sensitively, “I’m so sorry, Taeyong.”

“Now, don’t look so sad, there is nothing to be sad about,” Taeyong tried to cheer you up. “I have arranged myself to live like this. That’s why I think you’re very lucky.”

“Me?” You pointed at yourself. “Why should I be?”

“Because humans still know what true love is. They can decide on who to be with, who to open their hearts to, who to let in. Most gods solemnly seek for the comfort of a warm body next to them at any given time, or marry only out of convenience. Some gods are cursed, just like me, some even happen to face a worse fate. Only the minority don’t seek for a puppet or an arrangement, but a real partner. Like Jaehyun.”

You sneered. “According to everyone else, he’s one of the most powerful gods in your entire realm. Why would he care for a real partner, a human even?”

“You don’t know him very well, do you? He might have only searched for a timid wife to sit next to him in the throne hall and perhaps show him a bit of affection. But that would have never been enough for him, and he always knew, otherwise he would have picked the first human he saw.”

“All I’m saying is,” you defended your opinion, “I might not be the right person for whatever he requires of me.”

Taeyong shrugged, but not with an indifferent intention. “You might be the exact right person for this as he doesn’t require anything from you except for you just to be you.”

“Why would you say that?” you sighed, distressed.

“Jaehyun traded his permission to be allowed on earth to find you. It was risky and stupid, I can admit that, but at least he went after what he had been searching for this entire time. It impresses me very much. Doesn’t it impress you too?”

“That’s not a good enough reason. He only had one shot,” you tried to understand. “And he picked me. What if he chose wrong?”

“That is your perception.” Taeyong smiled, no trace of sadness anymore. “Mine is that he was a lonely man looking at a million women in the span of half a day. And he didn’t need to look at a million other women and take the remaining hours to settle with the last possible option out of pure panic, because he ran out of time. He went for what caught his eye, felt right to him and gave him hope. Isn’t that a good enough reason?”

You fell into silence. 

“Ah, I must go now. But just let me tell you this one last thing.” You raised your brows in expectation, watching Taeyong shift around and seamlessly continuing without looking back, “Jaehyun is the god of the underworld. Never has he made a wrong decision.”

You wished you didn’t believe him.

____

Jaehyun probably knew it the moment you walked into the great hall that day. He probably saw it in the nervous flickers of your eyes, he probably smelled it in the light sheen of sweat glistening around your cleavage, probably heard it in the ragged breaths of your lungs. 

You had come to kill him. 

But he didn’t say a single word.

Your walk wasn’t as determined and full of confidence as usual, the steps barely heard as though you might change your mind every second. The silver blade was glistening between your fingers and then slipped up your sleeve again in hope he hadn’t seen.

“Did you think about my offer, little rose?” Jaehyun asked almost nonchalantly as he moved on his throne, but didn’t descend. 

Today, he was wearing his dark crown at home again. Ironically, on his death day too, you thought silently to yourself. “Yes,” you announced and let your head drop when you stood in front of him. “I can’t.”

“And why is it that you think that you can’t? You’re a human, someone with a free will. We gods don’t have that.”

“It’s because I have a free will that I decide against your offer.”

“Very well. I accept that.” He let out a long sigh that didn’t sound in the least bit agitated though. “If you ever change your mind while you’re still here, I am willing to get back to my offer.”

“I’m afraid there is not enough time.”

Then you lashed out, and the  next moment, he had a knife to his throat, blood spilling where the blade cut into his skin. It was only lightly, but enough to tear apart even the sheerest of paper. You didn’t dare to push deeper, your trembling fingers clinging onto the handle when you settled on his lap with your legs locking him in place on either side.

“Why don’t you stab me?” Jaehyun whispered, not moving a single inch.

You were aware he couldn’t die, not from your mortal hands. This action was your feeble attempt and last resort of holding onto something you should have left behind the moment you had stepped into the darkness: humanity. If you stabbed him, you wouldn’t feel the same as with your father back then. If you stabbed him, you would feel remorse, and that would remind you that you were still all that - a human.

You ground your teeth, breathing irregularly while having difficulties remaining the knife in its position. Jaehyun was still sitting quietly beneath you, looking up at you with expectant eyes that didn’t mirror anything like reproach or anger. He knew you wouldn’t do that, he knew that exactly, and that fueled your despair even more, because, in the end, you had known all along too.

“You can defy everything, little rose, even me,” Jaehyun muttered, stretching out his hand that then touched a strand of your hair and gently tucked it behind your ear. “But the truth is that you want me, and this life. And it’s killing you. Not me.”

You had never wanted to be anything less than extraordinary, but no one had ever told you that you could possibly be bound for so much greater either. Restless in your own world, you had tended flowers day for day, wondering if there was more to life than the one you were living. You had always been subconsciously rattling on the invisible chains of simplicity, boredom and too much comfort, struggling to let go fully.

And now he, the god of the underworld himself, was pressed into the throne in front of you, not fighting back under the threat of your knife, even though he was able to unalive you with only the flick of his finger. He was patiently waiting for your decision, had seen and fostered your potential from the very beginning.

You weren’t a timid little flower in the backyard anymore. 

You were the dangerous seeds of pomegranates. 

“Tell me, little rose, will you accept even the darkest parts of you like I do?”

A few beats of silence passed by where Jaehyun only heard your rattled breathing going hand in hand with the erratic rhythm of your chest heaving up and down, until the knife dropped to the dais with a loud noise. His fingers grazed over your scalp, settling there shortly before they grabbed a bundle of hair, preparing to haul you to him.

But he didn’t need to. Willingly, you leaned down, stopping right before your lips touched his, wavering in that moment a little too long. Jaehyun’s fingers slipped from the back of your head past your ear, touching your cheek. He was so close, you could feel his breath stroking your chin as his finger tips slid further, trailing over your bottom lip.

Your eye contact was so strong and more intense unlike anything you had ever experienced before. He was exploring the deepest parts of your soul with his gaze only, making you wonder how much longer it would take Jaehyun to unravel all of you without even having touched you more intimately.

Instinctively, you parted your lips, and he slipped his thumb past them. With the tip of your tongue, you licked over his skin, then started sucking on his finger. This gesture had something so tainted yet intimate to it, you feared that he might withdraw right away, but the look in his eyes and his own slightly agape mouth only reassured you of the fact that he found it as seductive as you. 

But Jaehyun was still awaiting your answer before it was processed. You were sure though that whatever would start to happen next, it would be world-destructive in so many senses. You only hoped you would be prepared for it.

You sucked in a huge breather and Jaehyun retracted his hand from your mouth as he assumed you wanted to say something. There was much expectation lying behind his awaiting eyes, even though you both knew by now what your answer would be.

“Beg.”

Jaehyun cocked a brow. “Pardon?”

“Beg for it.”

You could clearly see the struggle in his eyes, and even a touch of indignation, but as he saw how serious you were about it, he apparently swallowed all his pride.

“Please,” he growled lowly. “Be my queen.”

“You don’t have to be alone anymore,” you finally whispered as you hovered above him with not much resistance.

At this moment, you laid bare in front of him, with your soul and mind at his mercy, and he could do anything he wanted with it. 

But he didn’t. 

Instead, Jaehyun let you come forward and close the last remaining space between the two of you as you pressed your lips against his, reassuring him of your words’ honesty. You had made your decision, and you were willing to take everything that came along with it - including the god of the underworld himself.

Suddenly, Jaehyun gasped in shock when he tasted something familiar on your tongue. 

There it was.

Pulling away, he snatched your hand, spotting red stains on the tips of your fingers and whispering breathlessly, “Pomegranate seeds.” And then louder, “You ate pomegranate seeds!”

You clarified, “Seven of them, to be exact.”

By the way he examined your lips and licked over his own, he must by now also spot and taste the red seeds on your own mouth that had passed by him before. 

"You deceived me,” Jaehyun realized. “You never needed me to beg for you to be queen.”

“I needed to be sure you truly meant it,” you disclosed the truth to him. “Whether you would be able to lay your title aside for me and open up to me about what you truly want, as a man and not as a king. Whether you would see me as an equal.”

He hesitated. “What if I had said no?”

One edge of your mouth curved upwards. “From the very beginning, I knew you wouldn’t.”

“How lucky you are, as a queen isn’t to be opposed,” he then said with a smirk, “she’s to be obeyed and worshiped.”

When your lips came together again and his hands grabbed hard on the tender flesh of your buttocks, you were both aware that you had never needed to be convinced to stay with him in the first place.

_____

Jaehyun’s hands weren’t on your face anymore as his mouth gave you all the attention you needed there, lips and tongue deep inside you. Instead, you felt his palms pressing into your exposed thighs after he had successfully and nearly imperceptibly pulled your skirts up, skin grazing against skin, his touch causing you to shudder with craving so unfathomable, you believed you were going to burst. This time, from bliss only.

His tongue outlined the form of your lips, your mouth then again melting into the kiss you two were sharing, so passionate and full of yearning as though you had been waiting a lifetime for only this moment. In both of your cases, it was applicable - the god of the underworld who had been alone all along, and a mortal girl who was bound for so much more than a simple life on earth.

Your back arched into Jaehyun’s body when his hands wandered upwards and curled into the curve of your spine, his fingers dancing across the naked skin under all the fabric which hung flattery around your figure. Without breaking your kiss, you gripped onto the very first button of his black shirt and undid it, your hands stained with the blood of the wound that you had caused earlier.

Snapping back to reality, you bounced back with a gasp, inspecting Jaehyun’s neck that now looked surprisingly unscathed where your knife had once slid through, only the spilled blood remaining. “Wha-”

“We gods heal way faster than humans, because that’s what we are…” he explained patiently, “immortal.”

That was something you hadn’t put further thought into, but absolutely made sense considering that you technically couldn’t kill him. Somehow, a bad conscience still seeped into you, so you said, “I’m sorry” with much regret in your voice. 

“Don’t apologize, little rose,” was only his answer, adorned with a smile while his fingers fiddled with the collar around your cleavage. “You did what you had to do. It was important to me that you weighed all your options and still decided to be with me.”

Jaehyun tugged on your sleeves, pulling the upper part of your dress all the way down. The fabric settled around your hips with loud rusting, and only now you noticed that he had grown distinctively hard between your thighs. It aroused you very much as well, a cool breeze caressing your breasts and making your nipples turn hard. 

You had never carefully paid attention to what you considered flaws on your body, but the god sitting under you was incontrovertibly perfect and you, as a human, certainly didn’t perceive yourself in the same way. There was nothing to hide your naked body behind in this short span of doubt, but your shoulders slacked nonetheless, especially in this dominant position, and he noticed.

Jaehyun lifted you off his lap with a surprised sound falling from your lips. Your thighs were locked around his hips and you held onto him while he descended from the throne and placed you with your back on the carpet in front of the dais. With your arms slung across your chest while now lying in front of him, you tried to hide from him what you considered unpleasant for his eyes. You had never had this problem during your fleeting intimate encounterings before.

“Please don’t be insecure,” Jaehyun spoke gently, looming over you. “You’re so beautiful, I can’t take my eyes off you.”

Oddly, you believed every single word and willingly freed your chest as your thoughts and worries started to leave your mind. His tongue flicked over your nipple and with a moan, you threw your head back against the carpet, your fingers buried in his thick hair which was free from a crown now, scratching his scalp when he decided to gently suck on your peaks in alternation. It made you grow hot and wet in your nether regions, and you started to ache with the need for release.

You whined when Jaehyun suddenly withdrew, but let out a yelp when he grabbed your thighs, yanking you towards him and burying his face between your legs under the many layers of your skirts. His tongue indulged you, making hard passes over your folds before flicking your clit over and over. You hadn’t known what to expect of a god, but literally devouring you kind of made sense now.

His tongue was long, wet and thick, and it slid over your exposed parts in delightful strokes, the groaning sounds Jaehyun made meanwhile vibrating through you and almost making you cum on spot if it weren’t for him deciding to use his lips next. They felt full and warm on your wetness when he sucked on you, and you calmed down a bit, moving your body to the same sensual rhythm as his caressing mouth. 

“You taste better than the pomegranate seeds,” Jaehyun told you when he appeared by your face again, licking over his wet lips. 

He wanted to prolong the act, but that didn’t withhold him from having fun, so he started playing with you through his rough fingers rubbing soft circles around your clit while observing you with a satisfied grin. These fingers then moved past your barrier and started to thrust inside of you, causing you to fidget with your legs, wanting to get rid of the dress that you suddenly didn’t see as a protection from your mortality anymore, but an annoyance.

Jaehyun, as though an expert in reading your needs now, helped you with that and dragged the entire dress down your legs, throwing it aside. You watched him then elegantly and calmly undressing himself too, and when he dropped on his knees in front of your spread legs, entirely naked, his appearance just took your breath away.

He was magnificent. And he had decided on you to make his queen. Out of all creatures, mortal and immortal, human and god, he had decided on you. Suddenly, you didn’t see it as a punishment anymore, but a blessing. You were so lucky.

Jaehyun positioned himself between your thighs, slowly stroking his length against your entrance that was already slick with precum. You guessed everything that worked for humans worked for gods too. And that also included pain as you hadn’t had sex in so long already.

There was indeed a pang as he pushed himself inside, but it lasted only the break of a second that he luckily didn’t catch before it melted into pleasure, and it was the kind of pleasure you hadn’t been able to ever fathom before. It felt like something fell into place, like finding something that you had grasp seeking for all your lifetime and had just now discovered.

The way he slid his length in, slowly, inch by agonizing inch, was what you would describe as pure bliss, the most decadent, indulgent pleasure you had ever felt. You reached down and grabbed his bum, pulling him into you so that he sank even deeper if that were even possible as he had already hit the brim.

“Already so insatiable, little rose?” Jaehyun groaned with an underlying chuckle, propping his hands against the carpet on either side of you. “Or should I call you ‘my queen’ from now on?” 

He wasn’t even expecting an answer as he knew your clear response to it. His first thrust then inside of you was already so powerful, it nearly knocked the air out of your lungs. 

You weren’t his captive, nor his prisoner. He had never seen you as such. You were soon to be the queen by his side, his equal. Yet, all you wanted was him to fuck you senseless, devour you, ravage you, and worse. And you had the feeling that the god of the underworld wouldn’t mind doing all that as the sinister grin on his lips slightly gave away while you whispered almost absent-mindedly,

“More, more!”

Your fingers curled around the rug beneath you whenever he pulled back, his muscles straining and drawing in a deep breath before he slammed right back into you, causing you to gasp loudly, the echo getting carried across the wide hall. You hadn’t deemed it to be possible, but you swore that with every thrust, he drove in even deeper. A cry strangled in your throat, your vision rolling back as you had difficulties keeping eye contact with him. Your naked bodies moved together in unison despite you having feared at first that you might have forgotten how this act worked. 

For this being you two’s first joining, you didn’t feel inferior or controlled like in the past when you had used sex and everything forbidden only as a coping mechanism. Every noise you made, whether dry moaning or lustful cry, was because of pure pleasure, and Jaehyun always responded with a short pause where he looked you longingly in the eyes and halted his motions for a moment before starting off shallowly again as though he quite couldn’t believe you were there. You couldn’t either.

With each kiss, you felt adored. With each touch, you felt appreciated. With each thrust, you felt worshiped. It wasn’t only about him, but about you too, regardless of your human nature. 

Pleasure quickly started to build and grow within you, and you were afraid you were going to faint on the spot as Jaehyun’s rhythm changed and he picked up his pace. Your mortal body was supposedly too weak and too fragile to take everything he could give all at once despite you wanting to explore everything, all of it. 

But you couldn’t just yet, despite him clearly willing to give you all you needed, for as long as you wanted. If you continued, you feared you might really splinter and be impossible to put back together, dying right there in his arms, because the bliss was too much for a human to take in.

“Please,” you were the one begging now, your hands coming forward and clutching around his toned arm muscles. “I can’t anymore. I need to-”

“Very well, my queen.”

The new title was music to your ears, and the moment you saw stars exploding in front of your eyes, you also witnessed the sparkles merging and forging a crown made of darkness, just like his.

You were screaming and writhing under him, grabbing onto anything, something just to make sure that you would stay here and not fly off into another realm or worse, back to earth. But you were still with Jaehyun when you calmed down and his own orgasm ripped through him, the god of the underworld coming undone right above you.

His chest heaved as he tried to regain his breath, his toned body gleaming with sweat, but he still took his time to end your session with a kiss on your mouth that sealed the eternal proposal you had accepted.

“This is the only time I wouldn’t mind giving up power as a queen,” you reminded him as he pulled you to his chest, still there on the carpet. “Don’t you forget that.”

“Very well, my queen.”

You couldn’t see his face, but you felt his smile on you.

____

When you woke up the next morning, you only after a short while realized that you weren’t in your own chambers. Warmth rose to your cheeks when you remembered what happened after you had threatened Jaehyun with a knife. And after that. And after that again. And…

Each joining had lasted longer than the one before, him giving more and you taking more, until your experience wasn’t only earth-shattering, but also soul-rendering. Every session tightened the bond that had formed between the two of you even stronger, and you wondered how long it would take until it couldn’t break anymore. Perhaps, it had never been destructible to begin with.

You blinked against the dim reddish light and got into a seating position before observing the room that was almost identical to yours, probably just a bit bigger, furnished fuller and more luxuriously. 

“I figured you wanted to remain true to mortal customs.”

You hadn’t spotted Jaehyun sitting on the edge of the bed, hair messy and body bare safe from a pair of satin bottoms. Again, you remembered that on earth, you had never seen a human so beautiful like him. You couldn’t even bring yourself to believe there was.

“What do you mean?” you asked with a raspy voice, and he apparently found it endearing in the way he reacted to your question.

“I heard that on earth, after you propose marriage and the other person accepts, you’re engaged. That’s the time before the actual wedding, right? And that the woman is gifted a diamond ring. At least that’s what Taeyong told me.”

“That’s right,” you confirmed, but you had never seen a real diamond ring before. When people in your village got engaged, they usually bought a cheap ring or used an heirloom, but as you had never expected to get married, you had never put much thought into owning one yourself.

“I didn’t know which kind of stone you liked and neither which kind of cut you preferred, let alone the color,” Jaehyun spelled out, insecurity swinging in his undertone. “I spent the entire rest of the night only deciding on that.” He slid closer to you along the mattress which let you spot the softness in his voice resonating in the look of his eyes. “And then I came to the conclusion that all of that doesn’t matter. Trivial things like these don’t matter to you. But… I still wanted to give the mortal girl I stole from her family a diamond ring. Simply because she deserves it.”

From the corner of your periphery, you spotted something glittering. When he opened his palm fully, a dainty silver ring got revealed to you, a black diamond sitting on the very top. Its shape reminded you of a blossoming flower, held together by silvery thorns that twined along the outline. 

“It’s the shape of a rose,” Jaehyun explained, “cut of diamonds from deep inside the mountains where only the residing god has access to.”

A rose for his beloved little rose cut of stone in the same color as their hearts.

It was the most beautiful jewelry you had ever seen, one of those you usually only read about in fairytale books. Jaehyun reached out his hand and took yours into his, sliding the ring along the right finger until it sat perfectly where an engagement ring was supposed to be seen. You had never wanted to pay much attention to materialistic stuff, but as soon as you saw the diamond adorning your hand, you were flooded with so much pride and an overwhelming feeling of finally having found your place in this world that it drove tears into your eyes.

“Did… did I do something wrong?” Jaehyun suddenly sounded so worried and squeezed your fingers together, expressing his concern. “Isn’t it what you wanted? We can change the diamond, the color, or if you don’t want a ring at a-”

You shook your head. “It’s… it’s not that. The ring is perfect. This is perfect.”

“What is it then?” 

Pause. “I don’t want to be your queen.”

He let go of your hand, his forehead now in creases. “So, you don’t want to get married to me anymore?”

“No.” You shook your head. “I don’t want to be your queen only.”

The frowns only deepened. “What are you saying?”

“At the beginning, you wanted me as your wife, but I refused. Later on, you said you were looking for a queen. I only accepted to be a queen, not a wife.”

“That is correct.”

“Ask me again.”

“What?”

You chuckled. “Ask me again.”

Jaehyun needed a moment to process, but then his eyes started to sparkle when it dawned on him what you were trying to ask of him. He then took your hand with the engagement ring back into his and held your fingers in front of his chest, the black rose diamond sparkling in the candlelight. 

“Will you marry me? Will you become my wife, loved and cherished every single day, and also become my queen, reigning over the underworld with me?”

Loved and cherished? You had never heard someone speaking these words in the same breath and directing them at you. And now you had the king of the underworld offering you more than you had ever thought possible on earth. He sealed his proposal with a kiss that he gently placed on the top of your knuckles, right by the diamond.

You let your fingers slip out of his palm and shifted your arm to sling them both around his neck. With a careful movement, you motioned in his direction, his hands on your waist guiding you until you settled on his lap, eye to eye with him.

“Will you love and cherish me always?” With your thumbs, you tenderly brushed over the back of his neck. “Whatever will happen?”

“I will always love and cherish my wife and queen,” he replied. “So please, marry me. And this is the only time I will ever beg again outside of the bedroom.”

He knew that you had always been meant for more than a silly, fragile doll of earth. And maybe, your family provided acceptance to the same extent, but you wanted pomegranates and death, and you craved the cruel shadows of the night. He saw more in you than a corrupted child of light, he saw a queen worthy of reigning alongside him. And you would gladly let him believe so.

“Yes,” you whispered before you leaned into his lips. “I will.”

The kiss was chaste and innocent, a stark contrast to the previous night, sealing a proposal you had never dreamed of receiving. To be loved and cherished until all eternity… you thought, despite the equal darkness in your heart, you could give all of this to him too. And eternity by his side didn’t sound so excruciating anymore.

“What is it?” Jaehyun halted in the middle of the kiss to look directly at you, his palms steadying either side of your face. “Is something wrong?”

You shook your head, taken aback by a warm feeling that suddenly spread from your lower stomach to the very tips of every limp. “Nothing.” Your fingers massaged the back of his head, his soft hair slipping through the gaps between them. “When are we getting married?”

“So impatient already?” He narrowed his eyes and tilted the corners of his lips up to an evil grin. “If you want to repeat last night, all you have to do is ask, anytime you want, anywhere you want.”

“As promising as it sounds… I’m serious,” you assured him. “When can we get married?”

“I stand by my answer, anytime you want.”

“Then tomorrow?”

“As you wish, my wife.”

____

You married the god of the underworld on a day when the sky was exceptionally red. Or so it seemed to you as your lips had been painted in the same promising color that resembled the dangerous pomegranate seeds as well.

You stood in a tiny, open chapel forged of stone in the middle of the mountains you always watched from Jaehyun’s chamber’s window where you had resided the past nights. Donned in black garments of the finest fabrics instead of pastels, you were facing and holding each other’s hands, the priestess in a white tunic and veil that barely revealed her face reading from a book to you that you had never seen in churches on earth. 

You didn’t have witnesses, there were no family members or friends to celebrate this special day with you. Under these circumstances, it would have been the saddest day in a young woman’s life. But not for you. Of course you wished your mother and sister could have been here too to share these feelings with you, but they also wouldn’t have understood.

Why you did this. Why you needed to do this.

“I do,” you heard Jaehyun say first.

This was where you belonged. At the end of the day, you had still found your way into the arms of the darkest god in the entire realms.

“I do,” you repeated after the priestess, barely a whisper, but still strong enough to be carried by the breeze to everyone’s ear.

You met Jaehyun’s confident smile, and you only now grasped the fact that you barely remembered the last time you had been happy to this extent back there on earth. It had been a long, long time.

When your lips closed around your husband’s, marking his mouth with stains of the same redness as the sky and the pomegranates that bound you to this place, you claimed him as yours just like he claimed you as his.

Two equals from different breeds, but from now on of the same value under this red sky.

____

“Congratulations on your wedding. I was a bit sad that I wasn't invited.”

“Nobody was invited, Taeyong,” Jaehyun sighed. “Why did you come here anyway?”

“I have a message for your wife.” The sun god jumped down the stairs until he stood in front of you both, but only eyeing you. “Talk about timing, you have just gotten married and I will have to separate you again.”

“What do you mean?” You frowned, suddenly very wary.

“I have a message for you from the god of the sea. Since he was banned by your now husband from ever entering the underworld again and your husband was banned from entering the sea too, he sent me as a messenger.”

That statement didn’t only cause you to freeze, but Jaehyun as well. “What does he want from her?”

The few things you had heard about the sea god so far hadn’t been really pleasant. What could he possibly want from you?

“He has been reached out to by someone who wants to get you back,” Taeyong declared carefully.

You shook your head. “That’s impossible. No one from my family can come and there is no other person who would care enough for me to do that.”

“Why would that be the case?” Taeyong asked.

“Her mother is limping gravely and her sister is still a child. She doesn’t have other living relatives,” Jaehyun reasoned for you.

You were grateful for his support as you were having struggles digesting Taeyong’s information, having the fact pass by you that you had never actually told Jaehyun anything about your family yourself by then.

“Well, someone is there who you matter very much to. And they want to take you back with them. A distant relative? A friend?”

“It must be my mother or sister. It must.” You were petrified while two pairs of eyes laid on you, both gods lost for words too.

The tears that spilled from your eyes shortly later weren’t tears of happiness or relief. They were tears of guilt, because you felt neither. You couldn’t move but shook with your whole body against your will at the same time. What eventually settled in your stomach was the feeling of disappointment.

Disappointment, because whoever had come they had succeeded in that task - all to no avail.

Taeyong touched your back in a comforting gesture. “I’ll accompany you.”

“No,” Jaehyun cut in and took you into an embrace in which you couldn’t stop trembling too, even though you weren’t cold. “Let her digest that information first, and then we’ll figure out what to do.”

Despite the stream of tears that clouded your vision, you still brought yourself to shake your head. “N-no,” you sobbed. “I-I will go now. I have to go n-now.”

“The horse is already saddled,” Taeyong supported you. “Don’t worry, I will safely escort her and bring her back to you, Jaehyun, you have my word.”

“You want to do it now?” your husband asked you carefully, eyes full of worry.

You nodded determinedly, voice steadier now. “Yes. They came all the way here, I owe them. Whatever they risked, I owe them. I cannot let another minute go reactionless to waste.”

“I understand.”

Not much later, you had hurried to your own room, Ara helping you peel out of your wedding dress and changing into a comfortable, dark gown, more suited for riding and traveling. You didn’t want to lose much time as Taeyong was already waiting outside, so you hastened along with the servant until your husband stepped into the room right before you were about to leave again.

“You’re dismissed, Ara,” Jaehyun said and she nodded, quietly departing and shutting the door behind her.

“What’s he like?” you asked dryly, tears now having entirely subsided, but fear only growing. “The god of the sea, I mean.”

Your husband turned mute for a bit too long before he replied discreetly, yet clearly enough with much pain in his voice, “I wish you wouldn’t have to go.”

“I must.”

“I know. It’s just so unfortunate it happened on our wedding day.”

You felt his breath hitting the parting of your hair when he stood close to you and eventually hugged again which you instinctively reciprocated. You didn’t want to leave him either - but, again, you must. If only he could come with you, you would feel safer and more protected. Even though Taeyong offered probably the same amount of comfort, it would have been something entirely else to have your own husband by your side.

“Remember, you’re the queen of the underworld now,” Jaehyun whispered into your ear. “He doesn’t stand a chance against you. By title alone, you’re mightier than him.”

“I’m still a human and mortal after all,” you expressed your worry and buried your face in his chest, fingers clutching hard into the fabric of his shirt. “He could keep me captivated, blackmail you or just end me with one single grip of his hand. I don’t stand a chance against him.”

“If he dares to lay a finger on you,” Jaehyun continued with an underlying groan that indicated he was suppressing long planted anger, “I will have the permission to end him. I promise to you, if you’re not back by the day after tomorrow, I will tear every single realm apart just to find you and take you back with me.”

In the security of his embrace, you smiled, more at ease now. “If he won’t let me go, I will fight my way back to you. Through every single realm.”

“That is exactly what my queen and wife would say.”

The proudness in his voice made you proud too, and suddenly you weren’t so scared anymore. The promises you had given to each other in the secrecy of your room was sealed with one last kiss that was dripping with longing over the lost wedding night before you got on Taeyong’s horse and rode off with him into the fallen darkness.

____

“So, you’re the wife of the king of the underworld?” 

The man in front of you motioned his pupils up and down, inspecting you from head to toe. You couldn’t pinpoint the look in his eyes, but it was everything except kindness that got mirrored in them. It was mostly mockery that bordered disgust even.

“I’m not only his wife, I’m his queen and the queen of the underworld, so you will address me as such.”

He raised his dark brow that was of the same color as his hair - petrol blue. In comparison to your husband, the king, he was a bit shorter and of a more slender figure, his aura far more sinister, nothing that would draw you to him like what had drawn you to your husband at the very beginning.

“Very well, human queen.” He grinned, his grin sharp and his smile crooked. “Does your oblivious husband know you killed your own father and only accepted his marriage proposal to get spared from the torture fields?”

Your blood froze.

“I see, that’s enough of an answer. When I heard your father went away a decade ago, but I couldn’t track him down, I found it very suspicious, so I did a background check on you. What came to light truly fascinated me.” He put his index finger on his chin. “You and the god of the underworld are so similar. That you accepted his marriage proposal solely for that purpose, I only guessed. But I know you stupid, greedy humans. You’re all the same. In comparison to you, your sister is very talkative though as she had come all the way down here by herself.”

Your jaw dropped. “My… sister?” You were conflicted about what to do first as you did everything at once, gasping, breathing and talking simultaneously. “My sister is here? Alone? My sister can't be here, she’s practically still a child!”

“She’s very mature for her age,” the sea god explained, partially smugly, partially matter-of-factly. “She reached out to me herself through a summoner that she had tracked down in a nearby village and even offered her life, wanted me to trade hers for yours. Unfortunately, that was when I found out you ate our food already. What a pity.” He let out a long sigh and touched his forehead as though annoyed in a phony manner. “And now that you’re even queen of the underworld, I’m not allowed to go through with my plans.” When he fixed his gaze back on you, his expression had some kind of madness to it that caused goose bumps to appear all over your body, and not the pleasant ones. “But that doesn’t mean that I cannot still have a bit of fun. Let’s see how much you both love each other.”

The undersea palace was equally impressive as the dark palace, the entire building forged of corals of different colors, lightning coming from the sun that was still able to make its way through the entire ocean’s depth until the last rays reached down here. It seemed like a lively and vibrant place with the residents also breathing air as water was kept outside, many mortals roaming around in colorful attires that reminded you of another part of the earth. The palace was like an own world in the middle of the undersea, but it was exactly this colorful and lively world that you would make the worst memory with.

The sea god suddenly spread out his arms like wings. Behind him, where a mass of deep blue curtain had adorned the back wall of the throne hall until now, a glass window revealed itself when the thick fabric parted, presenting the foggish undersea through a hole as big as a human’s house. The view was striking and intimidating at the same time, and you would have appreciated the sight for a bit longer if it weren’t for your sister who you found swimming like a fish in an aquarium behind the glass, a tiny dot on a huge painting. 

Her long hair was floating around her head like a halo, her skirts spread like a summer breeze had lifted them up, and it would all have been a heavenly painting with the fishes swimming across the picture if it weren’t for the look of horror in her eyes that she directed at you from the moment the curtains parted.

“I heard,” the sea god pulled you out of your petrifying realizations, “humans can only live approximately three minutes without air. How long will your sister make it? I think she’s already been in there for more than a minute.”

You panicked, and for a few heartbeats, you had to deal with a blackout about how to proceed, how to save your sister. Luckily, rationality kicked back in and you acted on implementing your first idea. The sea god watched you running around while continuously wearing his mocking smirk, heading into different directions in search of something that could break the glass.

You heard him laugh, his petrol blue strands shaking in the same rhythm as his dancing shoulders when you took a chair into your hands and dragged it to the massive glass window behind the dais. You were of a natural build, but that didn’t mean you were weak for a woman. Years of working on the fields finally paid off when you heaved the chair up and slammed it against the glass, over and over again.

The more often the chair came in contact with the surface, the weaker your arms and the bigger your panic grew as time passed uncontrollably and you knew that soon, it would be too late.

“It’s not human glass. A chair cannot break it. It was amusing watching you though, but now it gets boring,” the sea god snickered and yawned. “Humans… such imbeciles.”

You hadn’t noticed how tears started streaming down your face, hot and wet, until you desperately laid your palms against the glass, trying to make out your sister’s body. But at this point, she had already floated so far away, you could barely spot her anymore, perhaps mainly also because of your tear-smeared vision.

You sank onto your knees, hands sliding down the glass as you felt hope shrinking the further you lowered your position, until you were a crying mess on the ground. Your sister would now die and it was entirely your fault - because you were so selfish and only thought about saving yourself. Just like back then with your father.

But suddenly, your hiccups stopped in unison with your tears when you felt something prick against your right thigh, and you gasped when a fact dawned on you: There was still hope. Before you had ridden off, Jaehyun had strapped an item around your leg that you had shortly forgotten about.

A knife.

“Take this with you,” your husband had said. “It’s made from the strongest material to ever exist, in this and the human world. It cannot kill an immortal, but it can break through every surface imaginable.”

Like he had seen coming, because he had been in a feud with the sea god for a long time already. Like he had wanted to prepare you for every possible situation that could occur. 

The moment the glass broke with only a single strike of you and water mercilessly swamped into the hall, you just thought about how much you loved your husband and that it was only thanks to him that you were now able to hold your sister in your arms again - breathing and alive.

And that you hadn’t killed another family member and would never need to again.

____

Your little sister was shivering in your arms, but you tried your best to keep her warm with your coat while you were wearing Taeyong’s as you were equally cold after the throne hall in the undersea palace had been entirely swamped.

“I’m tired,” your sister yawned.

It had been an almost impossible battle to get her out of there with the sea god going on a rampage after you broke the glass, and without Taeyong’s help, it wouldn’t have been successful at all, but here you were now, both exhausted and injured, but alive. That was all that mattered.

“Not long anymore,” you assured her.

Not long anymore and you would be back at the dark palace. It had only been two days, but the further you approached the location, the more your anticipation grew to finally see your husband again. You hadn’t been aware of how much you actually missed and longed for him until the moment you felt him by your side when you saved your sister - with his help.

“Where are we going, sis?”

Taeyong was controlling the horse from the back while you and your sister were seated in front of him. You slung your arms tighter around her before you answered,

“My home.”

“But your home is with me,” she protested weakly before dozing off again, and you couldn’t bring yourself to tell her the truth just yet.

“She can also live here, you know,” Taeyong told you quietly from behind. “If Jaehyun breaks the bargain she made with the sea god, she will be able to stay.”

“Her heart is not as dark as mine, her past not as tarnished, her future not as corrupted. She doesn’t belong here,” you defended her. “I’m darkness and she’s light. She belongs to where flowers grow, where spring returns and where she can see the sun rise every day.”

“You’re also everything that she is, do you know that?”

“You heard the sea god talking about my background. I don’t have an excuse for the things that I did to our father. If I don’t belong to the torture fields, who does?”

“Your father,” was Taeyong’s matter-of-fact reply. 

You added, “And I would have to follow him.”

“That is not true,” he disagreed. “I’m not Jaehyun, but I’m positive that this is not true. He wouldn’t have sent you to the torture fields if you had died one day on earth as a human. I know your entire story now, and he wouldn’t have done that.”

“Even if that were possible…” you smiled sadly into the slowly falling night, “how would my husband react if he knew that I had initially agreed to this marriage just to avert my possible destiny?”

“You only wanted to do what you had to do in order to survive. That’s normal. That’s not even human only, that’s instinct we all carry within us.”

“I don’t want him to send me away,” you admitted, voice cracking and making way for tears that threatened to spill behind your eyes. “I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here and only because of him, not because of my position or my title.”

With your front teeth sinking into your bottom lip and nearly making it bleed, you held yourself back from crying the nth time today. 

“Sounds like you married him for other reasons as well,” Taeyong concluded with a lighter tone in his voice. “In the end, isn’t that all that matters now?”

“I don’t want him to regret choosing me,” you added hesitantly, stroking your sister’s damp hair as the fist spires of the dark palace came into sight, even in the settling darkness.

“Jaehyun has been the god of the underworld for an eternity already. As I said, never has he ever made a wrong decision. He has risked everything to get you. All you have to be is as courageous and confident as him, and believe in your love.”

Love…? 

Was it even possible to love someone you didn’t entirely know?

The last part of the way was covered in silence, and you expected your husband to be already asleep by now as night had long fallen. But you were able to make out the shape of his body even from miles afar. He stood in front of the gate as though he had known exactly when you would return - or had been standing there the past two days and nights.

You didn’t even have to ride all the way to the gates. Jaehyun came running in your direction, his crown falling off his head while sprinting, but he didn’t seem to care about that. 

“My wife,” he greeted you when you slid from the horse and into his arms, welcomed back into the darkness to where you belonged, but that suddenly didn’t feel so cold and threatening anymore. It felt warm. Just like home. 

Not “little rose”, not “my queen”. 

But “my wife” you were now.

You couldn’t lie to him any longer.

____

You gazed at your husband who was sleeping soundly next to you. Even though night had not given way to daytime yet, you couldn’t sleep anymore, too many thoughts keeping you restless and awake. 

Upon your return, you and your sister had been examined by a physician, but to your both luck, you had escaped with only minor injuries such as scratches from the broken glass. Yet, you had demanded for her to be observed the entire night. Initially, you had wanted to stay by her side yourself, but the physician had required absolute quietness and bedrest for her as she would sleep for many more hours, so you had decided to stay by Jaehyun’s side in the meantime.

For what seemed like hours, you had talked. And reliving the entire story in your tellings had you crying in your husband’s arms once again, partly because of the horror, partly because of the relief that you had been able to save your sister.

“She cannot stay here for long,” Jaehyun had made clear after comforting you until all your tears had subsided. “Part of her bargain was giving up one year of her life for every day she stays in the godly realms, so she has to recover fast and hurry home.”

How were you supposed to tell him that this wasn’t the only thing you were worried about? Now that your sister was here to take you back, but with you having already eaten the pomegranate seeds, you didn’t have a choice anymore. Deep inside, you deemed yourself lucky that you didn’t even have to make one in the first place afterwards.

Because that would mean that you would have had to hurt someone consciously. And it wouldn’t have been your husband.

Which was why you had decided to come clean with him now. 

You were sitting next to him, stretching out your hand and gently tracing the outline of his jaw. He was so ethereally beautiful, it nearly made your breath catch again. But that wasn’t the reason why you wanted to stay by his side forever. 

It was because, after living a quarter of a human lifetime, you had finally found the place where you belonged. You had found your counterpart, your partner for eternity, your equal, your twin flame. The one who accepted every edge of your soul, no matter how frayed it was. At least, out of all mortals and immortals, he was willing to.

But would he still be if he had explored every last part of the darkness inside of you?

“Why did you stop?”

You hadn’t noticed how you had halted your motions, your fingers coming to a stop right under Jaehyun’s bottom lip. 

“Good morning,” you whispered with a smile, and he kissed the tip of your index finger.

“It’s long not morning yet.” He looked at you, but he wasn’t mirroring your expression. “What are you so sad for?”

So, he had seen right through you already. You gulped. “I had a bad dream,” you said. 

“Tell me about it.”

“I dreamed that you left me.”

Jaehyun let out a light-hearted chuckle that was still hoarse from sleep. “Why would I ever do that?”

“Because I might not be the person you think I am. The more you get to know me…”

But he didn’t let you finish, which you gladly accepted, because you were unsure about how to end the sentence anyway. “In my entire lifetime, I have never made one decision that I regretted, not even after an eternity. And you’re one of them.”

“I wish I could believe you.”

What your husband said next made you possibly love him even more. He didn’t tell you the usual phrases that any man would tell their wives in order to silence them for they got too annoyed. Instead, he said, 

“You’re the queen of the underworld now. You have to believe in yourself first.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to tell him that in your own words how much you have come to love him though. Instead, you bent down to him and covered his mouth with yours in a passionate kiss.

“You know, we were never able to celebrate our wedding night.”

“You mean what happened in the hallway earlier didn’t count?” he wondered with feigned innocence as though he hadn’t been the one ripping your clothes apart the moment you were finally alone and hastily took you on the stairs right there and then.

You tugged on the hem of your nightgown, sliding the thin fabric over your head and simultaneously motioning towards Jaehyun until you were sitting naked on his lap. “That was your present for me. Here’s my present for you.”

The way your husband moaned into your ear when you were hovering over him shortly later, your hips coming down on his in a steady rhythm and your nipples grazing over his muscular chest, made you wonder if this was the last time that you would be able to hear him utter sounds like this. 

You were bouncing up and down the mattress, knees already strained as you leaned backwards and braced yourself against his shins with your hands, arching your spine in such a way to give him full access to your whole body.

And he did worship it, every single inch, every part you considered a human flaw. His hands trailed upwards, stopping by your breasts and kneading them gently as he met your hip motions with thrusts that hit all your sensitive spots inside through the curved angle. 

Your face was turned against the ceiling as you decided to close your eyes, your hair cascading past your shoulder and winding with each rock of your groins. Only a little longer, you swore to yourself. For only a little longer, you wanted to stop time and lived in this moment as long as possible.

But your body was human even though you couldn’t age in the godly realms, it painfully reminded you of that when Jaehyun dropped his palm and his fingers landed on your clit. You didn’t have the same stamina, nor the same endurance to prolong and go on for hours, so when you came undone right above your husband with a scream, body and soul, you felt betrayed by your own remaining humanity.

You fully rode out your orgasm, but as Jaehyun made a move to take the lead now and flip you around, you pinned him in that position by locking his arms in place with your hands. Even though he was able to change positions easily, he didn’t, and having you dominating turned him on so much, it didn’t take you much more until he cum in long spurts all inside of you himself.

“I never believed you were a virgin in the first place,” Jaehyun breathed under you. “But that you were capable of doing these kinds of things, I didn’t believe either. I’m impressed.”

“There is so much more to me you won’t believe I’m capable of,” you said, gaze stoically directed at the wall behind him, not moving from his lap to cuddle with him like usual, and he noticed.

“Didn’t we talk about this?” Jaehyun brushed it off, assuming this was what withheld you from coming closer to him. “Peccadillos.”

You inhaled deeply, then lowered your gaze, hiding behind strands of your loose hair, because that was how cowardly you actually were. “Ten years ago, I killed my father in a cold blooded murder,” you finally confessed. “Now, do you still want me as your wife?”

____

Jaehyun found you much later in one of the endless corridors as you had run away right after your confession. You had roamed through the palace in the meantime, at a loss about where to continue from here, and because you were afraid of his reaction. After all, you were always good at running away from things, no matter whether they were crimes or feelings.

As redness crested the horizon, you were leaning out of the window, guilty, but simultaneously full of relief to still see another dayrise.

“You can think of a punishment fit for my crime,” you offered to Jaehyun without turning around. “I won’t mind.” 

Whatever it might be, it couldn’t be as horrific as suffering on the torture fields for eternity. At least, he couldn’t punish you with that. That was all you had wanted, wasn’t it? 

“I cannot judge over my equal,” your husband replied monotonously. “Only the god who reigns over all godly realms can.”

“Oh, so it’s like this.” You had thought you were oh so smart to trick yourself into staying in the underworld as a mortal only to find out that there was possibly a much more gruesome punishment than what Jaehyun would have had in store for you. “I was wrong in the end.”

All this time, you had had this secret locked away in a chest that you had thrown into the deepest abyss of your heart, pretending it was whole when it was frayed on every edge. Once you unlocked the chest that you had sealed shut for nearly a decade, the darkness that was kept within would consume all of you. Perhaps, right now was the perfect time to face it.

“When I was much younger,” you began deliberately, staring out of the window while sensing your husband approaching you with deliberate steps, “and my little sister barely a toddler, my father came home one night, totally drunk. At that point, he had been drinking almost every day for a few years already. What he earned from his cabinetwork and from what we sold in crops, vegetables and fruits, he spent it satisfying his addiction. My mother was always very careful to put us to sleep before he came home, but I was already old enough to witness with my own eyes and ears what was going on each night. Every morning, my mother came out of the bedroom with another bruise showing on her body when my father had long gone out again. That certain night though, he was thrashing around furniture, even waking my baby sister up who I then carried around. When I opened the door, he shoved the table against my mother, hitting her legs with full force and rendering her unconscious. Upon seeing us, he snatched my little sister out of my arms.”

“Please.” Jaehyun’s attire made a rustling sound and then stilled, but he didn’t reach out to touch you. Outwardly, you reacted as though you didn’t care. You didn’t want to care. Inwardly, you longed for his fingers traveling over your thighs just one more time. But he was willing to give you the space you needed. “You don-.”

“That night, I killed him,” you cut him off, because you knew that if you didn’t do it now, you might never come so far again. “When he didn’t want to let go of my sister and give her back to me, preparing himself to do to her what he did to our mother, I took a knife and stabbed him many, many times. My sister’s crying was ringing in my ears long after he was dead, but I was still stabbing. I managed to calm my baby sister down and put her back to sleep. I tended my mother’s wounds and also brought her to bed before I took my father’s corpse and buried it deep in the woods. I spent half of the night digging his grave, the other half cleaning the wood off his blood. The next day, I told everyone I chased him off and he would never come back to hurt them again. The relief in their eyes made up for everything. They were so happy they were finally able to live in peace. But me? I have never found peace. I sacrificed my own happiness for my family. And I don’t regret it. I was only a teenager when I made that decision.”

With every syllable, you felt the darkness eating up a bigger part of your heart, and it wouldn’t be long until it had digested the entire organ. That was what you had always been afraid of, but it was also very relieving on the other hand. There was no pain anymore, just deep satisfaction, indicating a hint of regret for not having done it sooner.

Jaehyun didn’t say anything afterwards, but you were prepared for everything that would happen now. At least, you could move on, at peace with yourself after a decade.

“My soul might be dark, but I was not suffering. I was only afraid of what the darkness would do to me if I didn’t keep it locked, under control. That I would hurt more people, especially my family. But I would do it over and over again if this is the only way to keep my family safe from monsters. Even if this monster is me. But you have to understand…” You finally shifted around to your husband, revealing a face wet from tears. “When I ate the seeds, I had already decided to be your queen. But not for the same purpose for which I have decided to be your wife. When I decided to be your queen, it was because of the fear of ending on the torture fields myself if I ever got the chance to return to the mortal world. I thought I didn’t deserve to continue living on earth alongside pure people like my mother and sister, because I’m so filthy and corrupted. It was for my own protection, I was so scared after visiting the fields, that’s why I ate the seeds.”

You fell down to your knees and the thin fabric of your nightgown couldn’t cushion the pain that you felt when you smashed against the marble. But you didn’t care. The only thing important to you now was to not lose your husband. You wanted to fight for him so that if he were to let you go, you could say you had been finally courageous and confident enough to have fought for your love.

Yes, love.

“But when I decided to be your wife too, it was because I whole-heartedly wanted to stay by your side, because I-” The following confession twisted your guts, because you had never believed you would be able to say this to someone or even feel a sliver of it one day. But it was true, every single syllable. “Because I love you.”

For a long moment, nothing happened, only your whimpers and sobs filling in the silence that stretched in the hallway, and the more you waited for a reaction, the more agonized you turned to the point of coming to accept the truth that you might have lost your husband forever. You cried even more.

“I finally understand.” You then felt Jaehyun’s fingertips on your skin, wandering along your shoulder and eventually resting there. “All those years, you dedicated yourself to a simple, peaceful lifestyle to conceal the bloody tumult that you’ve been through. In contrast to your flowery, colorful appearance, your soul was dark and suffering.”

The tip of his index finger then traveled to your chin and lifted it up, and the man whose eyes you locked with were neither your husband here in the palace nor the god of the underworld in the hall of judgment. Somehow they were both. 

“If possible, I might love you even more now,” he said before he kissed your tear-stained lips.

____

You shouldn’t sit in the hall of judgment the same day when your sister still wasn’t awake, but there was something you had to be shown according to Jaehyun, which was why he had ridden with you all across the deadlands again.

Today, there was no soul awaiting their judgment, so you wondered why you had been brought here in the first place. Painfully, the truth dawned on you though as Jaehyun urged you to stand in front of the dais and he took his own seat on his throne, the one in which you were supposed to sit empty this time.

You were the one to be judged.

“There was something I have only informed you shortly about the first time you were here,” your husband then opened up as he settled in his throne. “The fact that none of the souls entering the hall has to tell me their backstories. It would consume too much time and they would be able to conceal parts for they cannot straight up lie. I know their entire lives, histories and stories upon entering, they only tell me their point of view, their opinion. And…” He took a meaningful, long pause. “With every soul, I mean every human, dead or alive.”

You stared at him for a moment, your brain processing what then washed over you in shocking realization all at once. With your hand, you covered your mouth, swallowing a gasp. “You always knew?!”

Only then, you were able to relive the scene from three days ago when Taeyong broke down the news to you that someone from your family had come to get you. Jaehyun had known about the circumstances which made you believe that none of them were able to come down here despite you never having told him anything about your mother’s condition and your sister’s age yourself. But back then, you had been so stressed, it had totally passed by you. He had indeed always known.

“It’s true, a decade ago on earth you made a drastic decision to self-judge and rob your father of his life, but you didn’t bring this fate over him. I did when I decided to throw him onto the torture fields. I did the exact same thing as you. So why would I punish you for something that hadn’t only protected you, but also the people you love the most?”

For that, you didn’t have an answer. That your actions could be justifiable, you had always talked yourself into. But you had never been able to shake off the shadow that sometimes crossed your mother’s face when someone mentioned your father or your sister getting bullied for not having one. They believed he was still alive, but didn’t fear he would ever return. If they knew the entire truth, it wouldn’t change anything about their mindset other than seeing you as an entirely different person.

Yes, your lives had gotten considerably better without your father in regards to the living circumstances as he had barely financially and emotionally supported your family anyway. But by the looks of the village people, it had only brought you shame and misfortune to live like this as no one had wanted to marry your handicapped, single mother again - or even you. Subconsciously, you perpetually felt guilty for that you had to live the way you used to live. This all, you also told Jaehyun, and he only shook his head.

“You cannot blame them for feeling this way like they cannot blame you for saving their lives. What if your father was still alive? This is a scenario nobody can answer to rightfully. You couldn’t have sat around, waiting until he would change. Perhaps, you would have lost more than one person. Even when the tiniest part inside of them blames you for not having him around anymore, even if they knew the entire truth, you don’t have to blame yourself too and make amends by playing the commendable child when there is so much more to you.”

“Much… more?”

“You were leading the life of a good daughter, always obedient, always loving. You grew flowers in hope they could conceal the darkness in your heart. But the truth is…” Jaehyun arose from his throne, carefully stepping down the stairs while keeping his hands hidden behind his back, “with the darkness that had settled inside you that day, you would have never been able to live a fulfilling life on earth, that was why you had decided to stay with me in the first place, not because you were scared. You were never afraid of me or anything else down here. You always only wanted to believe that because your mortal side couldn’t justify your true feelings. The moment I saw the true you, I realized I couldn’t let you go. Everything I said, none of that has ever been a lie, I always knew who you were.”

Was that true? Had he seen right through you from the very beginning? The day you had entered the hall from the very first time was the day he had proposed the throne to you without a second thought.

“You fought hard against this, against us, because you thought you owed your life to your mother and sister as you might have ruined theirs to the point of nearly forgetting that you can bloom in your very own way when you don’t dedicate your life to someone else. Of course you love them, but be brave and start loving yourself equally as much. Just like I do.”

For a split second, you were asking yourself whether you had made the wrong decision to eat the pomegranate seeds out of your own free will. But that was what it all boiled down to: Everything you had done happened out of your own free will that you had always been possessing as a human, even here, even now still.

“Listen,” Jaehyun spoke gently when he finally stood in front of you, on the same level, as equals again. “To be my queen is not a duty just any human is capable of. It’s difficult, straining for body and soul, and requires a lot of self-control to not lose your mind. I wouldn’t have proposed this position to you if I hadn’t been sure you harbored all that. Your story has only assured me of the fact that in you, I wouldn’t only find a wife, but someone who thinks and acts the same as me. So today, I pronounce your sentence.”

Even though his words had been sweet and everything you had been longing to hear, the last statement made you shudder. Would he still send you away?

“My sentence for you is to be my queen, to stay by my side and reign alongside me always. Will you accept it?”

You felt something getting placed on the very top of your head. When you raised your arm and came in contact with the object, you touched something heavy and spiky - your very own crown, made of darkness and flowers that would never wither. You had exchanged flowers and pastels for flames and darkness.

“As I said,” your husband smiled proudly this time, “never in my entire lifespan have I ever made a wrong decision. You chose me. You love me. This is real, not the seven silly seeds you ate sealed the deal, but your love for me.”

The king of the underworld had accepted you. He was both the kindest and cruelest thing that had ever happened to you, even if others wouldn’t perceive your tale like this. He had seen the darkness that resided inside you demanded its own throne, and he had shown you how a love like yours could turn even the coldest realm into a warm home.

You had never been afraid. You had never been held captive. You had voluntarily stayed. Why would you have cared about being a human bride when you could have been an eternal queen all along? 

Oh, how you wished for everyone to know that the god of darkness who you could also call your husband, had the silkiest hair that felt especially soft when he was on his knees, coaxing spring from inside of you with your thighs wrapped around his neck. 

____

“But I don’t want to leave without you,” your sister sobbed and wrapped her arms around you just a bit tighter. “Why can’t you come with me?”

By now, you weren’t able to hold your tears back anymore either, and you just cried in each other’s arms. The horse was already settled and stood by the main gate not far from you. Taeyong had volunteered to bring her back and was waiting there. 

“As I told you,” you explained patiently for the nth time to your little sister, “I cannot leave.”

“Did you truly eat the seeds of your own free will?” she asked warily. 

You nodded. “I did.”

You weren’t able to bring yourself to tell her the entire truth. One day, if you would ever get the possibility, when she was only a bit older and your paths crossed again, you promised to yourself that you would. 

“But how could you! He took you from the earth to a world where not a single living thing can grow and live!”

“Sister, have you seen that every single flower on earth withers away?” You pried her from you and flashed an encouraging smile, all through the veil of blurring goodbye tears. “Where is the difference? Our garden might only be small, but whatever grows there blossoms to its full potential, just like I can.”

“I don’t understand, sis.”

“You don’t have to understand. You only have to believe me.”

“What will I tell mother?” she wanted to know. “She misses you.”

“Tell her I miss her too. And that she’s going to be fine. You’re both going to be fine, even without me.”

“Sis, when will I see you again?”

Another wave of sadness rolled over you, but you swallowed it down this time and brushed over your sister’s hair in a reassuring gesture. “I don’t know.”

“How will I live life without you?”

“Stay kind, confident and courageous, always believe in yourself. After all, you made it all the way down here by yourself only. I wouldn’t have been able to, but you did all that. Do you know how proud you can be of yourself, sis? You’re going to grow up to be such a beautiful, smart and brave woman. I’m certain about that, and I’m already so proud of you, don’t you ever forget that.”

“Actually,” a manly voice interrupted you, and you both simultaneously turned to the side to watch your husband speak, “you don’t have to worry about that, dear. Your sister will come with you.”

“What?” you both called out, also simultaneously, but the fine difference lied in either of your tones.

While your sister’s was full of joy, you barely brought out a syllable that wasn’t dripping with worry and fear. Why would Jaehyun suggest something like that? Had he already forgotten everything he had said to you since your wedding day?

But the smile that spread across your husband’s lips was full of happiness like your sister’s with no hint of grudge as he approached you and placed his palms on each side of your face, looking at you with much love as opposed to his statement. You didn’t understand. 

“Why are you sending me away?” you wanted to scream, but only brought out a whisper, fingers clutching onto the hem of his shirt. “Please don’t send me away!”

“I’m not sending you away.” His thumbs caressed your cheeks, and you only noticed then that something had changed in his eyes. It wasn’t a look or a feeling that had been there before, and not weighing on the negative side either. In fact, nothing had been replaced or exchanged, only something slightly different that you couldn’t pinpoint. Perhaps, it was all in your mind after all. “I’m sending you to live with your mother and sister each year for six months, spring throughout summer.”

Your brain was still processing when your sister was already expressing her joy through little bumps and screams that gradually turned into a singsong about how you were returning home.

“Don’t worry,” Jaehyun calmed you down. “You are the bones of my spine, the ground beneath my feet, the air I’m breathing in. How could I possibly ever live without you again?”

“But-!”

He silenced you by putting his index finger on your lip. “Every year, when the first flowers bloom, you will be able to return to earth to live with your family. When you see the first leaves falling, that is when I will take you back to the underworld. You will bring spring, bursting with light, and leave with winter, dreary and cold. Does this duality fascinate you too?”

You had so many questions, first and foremost what he traded your freedom for, but you also didn’t have time to ask any of them anymore as every minute that you lingered in the underworld robbed a sliver of your sister’s lifespan. 

You expressed your gratitude through hasty kisses with his arms slung around your back regardless of the presence of the other two as these would need to get you through the next months. 

“I don’t want you to feel lonely again when I’m gone,” you said to him.

“Don’t worry about that,” he reassured you. “I was patiently waiting half an eternity for you. I can wait another few months every year as long as you always come back to me.”

From now on, you could see yourself as a child of spring, wearing pastel colors and flowers in your hair on earth, and when returning home that was literally the underworld, donned all in black, you would pass sentence on lost souls in the hall of judgment as the queen of hell.

Yes, such duality fascinated you very much.

“Will you wait for me?” you asked when you were seated on the horse’s back with your sister in front and Taeyong behind you.

“Even if it takes you an eternity to come back to me.”

You leaned down, your husband embracing your cheeks on either side and giving you a long kiss that was supposed to last a few months in the moment a breeze came by and lifted the strands of your hair up in a swirl.

He trembled under the last gaze you threw at him before you rode off.

It wasn’t a punishment, it was a reward - for you to see your mother and sister again, and live where flowers grew and never see them wither again.

After all, you’d come back this time, every time.

Out of your own free will.

_____

Jaehyun had known he should have regretted that certain forenoon of hasty decisions on earth. He had sensed you before he even saw you, soft, warm, light - everything he needed his future queen to be, so he didn’t look further as he had gotten spared only one day.

There, in your mother’s garden, sun on your nose and wind in your hair, enveloped in the intense scent of yet to bloom flowers, it made even the hardest of hearts unharden, and suddenly the god of the underworld was only a man with an uncontrollable longing for your innocent sweetness.

“She’s coming back today,” Taeyong said, pulling Jaehyun out of his thoughts. “I’ll pick her up from the river and bring her here.”

“Very well,” Jaehyun answered, trying to downplay his excitement to welcome back his wife after so many months.

But his friend wouldn’t stop budging. “So, when are you going to tell her? What you traded her freedom for?”

“Possibly never, this is not something she will easily find out anyway. It’s not like I traded being a king, a god. We’ll be fine.”

“As long as no one wants to see you dead,” Taeyong stated with rolling eyes.

“Then let’s hope we’ll live alongside in peace,” the king answered dryly and his friend only gave him a long, last sigh in response before riding off to his duty.

Jaehyun had searched for a fitting wife for so long, sick of isolation and darkness, but no one living in the godly realms matched with what he had been looking for. Every resident was involved in an endless game of rivalry, too cunning, too vile to make his already hard life easier. He needed someone simple, timid and narrow-minded who would gladly accept what a god could offer to them without a single complaint. A human.

But the person he had chosen wasn’t all that. In a garden full of colorful plants, he had plucked the most dangerous flower of all. She was as beautiful as a rose, lulling him with her pure appearance and sugary scent, but her thorns stung and could cause him great harm. 

Even on that day, he hadn’t made a wrong decision, though it had looked like it in the very beginning as it all boiled down to either his instincts, luck or coincidence. But somehow, he had ended up combining all three and chose her.

His human guest only needed time, he had thought when she fought him like a panther in a cage upon their first meeting, so he had given her a few days to adjust and then intended to break down the advantages for her, hoping she would finally settle here in peace and then do for what he had brought her here: offering him company in all senses.

When she had walked into the dining room that one evening though, in a pastel silk dress he had chosen for his wife himself, looking and smelling like a freshly bloomed flower, but with eyes so fierce, Jaehyun swore he saw fire burning inside them, flames so intense like the ones on the torture fields. 

Just like now.

She hadn’t changed one bit since the day they had said goodbye to each other. Dressed all in black now with fiery eyes, she had returned to him, her attire as splendid as the crown in her hair, fitting for the queen of the underworld who was about to start her duties.

They were grinning at each other from afar already, and she was coming to a halt right in front of the dais. 

“You’re back,” Jaehyun stated stoically, but his voice shook with emotion when he arose. “I missed you.”

“I am,” you whispered. “And I missed you too.”

When he had been an immortal god, he had felt invincible. But Jaehyun hadn’t felt like this in months, and for a long while, he had been worried about that, about never being able to feel so powerful again.

But as he was holding his wife and his queen in his arms again after such a long period of separation, inhaling her scent, feeling her soft skin, hearing her warm voice whispering his name, he suddenly regained all of what he had thought lost when he had traded his immortality for her freedom, for her true happiness.

He didn’t need his immortality to feel immortal.

He only needed her.

#crying screaming kicking my legs twirling my fingers #SUCH A GOOD READ LIKE IDK WHERE TO START

[pinkczennie]

moth to a flame, act II (M)

↣ PAIRING: Jeno (NCT) + reader (female) + Mark (NCT)

↣ GENRE: the one where your marriage is falling apart and you have to choose between fighting for Mark or running away with Jeno.

↣ WARNINGS: strong language; some alcohol use; brief dialogue about pregnancy loss; explicit sexual content

↣ NOTES: this is the final part of a duology; check my masterlist for other parts; happy reading!

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#when I tell you I cried in this fic I WAS MF BALLIN

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NAKAMOTO YUTA FIC REC!

Content tags! ☆: favs (M): mature

Czennie´s anime boy (Collab) - [26 stories] @yutahoes

Not my type (SMAU) - HighSchool! [26 chapters] @nakajeno

Thats Rich! - E2L! (M) [27.7 k words] ☆ @tyonfs

Residual starshine - SoccerPlayer!Yuta (M) [19.3k words] ☆ @wonjaekook

Glossed over - (M) IdiotsToLovers! [18.2k words] ☆ @gyukult

On my own - (M) [16.2k words] ☆ @yutaholic

Songs for you - Band! (M) [10k words] @moondustis

Kickin´ it - BadBoy!Yuta [8.2k words] @nct-mood-boards

Lucky shot - Jock!Yuta (M) [8k words] @nakamoto-papoyaki

I´ll never leave again - (M) [7k words] @alreadyblondenow

For sure - (M) [5.7k words] @slightlymore

Chef!Yuta - [5.7k words] @loverthe8

Accidental encounters - College! [4.8k words] @softperson

Enemies to lovers!Yuta - College! [4.8k words] @warmau

Rum, eggnog, and an accidental confession - FakeDating!

[4.2k words] @neonun-au

Incentive - College! (M) [4k words] @sm-entertain-me

Les lettres d´amour - Fuckboy!Yuta [3.5k words] @royaljeongin

3Bs Project #1: (Biyoushi) - Hairstylist!Yuta [3.3k words] @yutahoes

Best friend? - BadBoy!Yuta [3k words] @chipsandwaffles

Fangirl - Sunbae!Yuta [2.6k words] @yutahoes

The one with the motel - E2L! [2.9k words] @mistymark

127 as engineering majors - Youtuber!Yuta [2.4k words] ☆ @moonctzeny

Still in love - ExesTo???! [2.2k words] @neonun-au

Day 20 - (M) [2.1k words] ☆ @johnsamericano

Dirty mind - (M) [2k words] @pinkczennie

Sukidesu - [1.9k words] @charmingyong

The one with the step stool. - E2L! [1.8k words] ☆ @mistymark

Doctor,Doctor - (M) [1.8k words] @yutahoes

The one with the blocked piped drain - Neoghbour!Yuta [1.7k words] @mistymark

Right here - RoomatesToLovers! [1.6k words] @yakultberry

Want - Roomate!Yuta (M) [1.6k words] @yunoysl

Insufferable - E2L! [1.5k words] @wincore

Beautiful stranger - (M) [1.4k words] @johnsamericano

Totally cute, too - BlindDate! [1.4k words] @murkrees

Lockers and Exes - HighSchool! [1.2k words]☆ @leeknowsredeyeliner

Tattoos n chill - TattooArtist!Yuta [1k words] @2jaeh

House warming - Neighbour!Yuta [0.9k words] @hyuckles-chuckles

Confessing to 127 - Crushes to lovers! [0.7k words] @dreamyyang

Actor!yuta - [0.5k words] @warmau

ラブラブ - EstablishedRelationship! [0.3k words] @jaehyunhour

#I’m so honored to be included 🥹

[pinkczennie]

On Edge. (m.l)

Dating the strict, well-liked, and loving Doyoung came with its hurdles. Normally, the two of you could communicate and work through the downsides, but what if the newest downside of the relationship is learning that his little brother, Mark, has a bit of a thing for you?

ao3 | m.list | minors dni !! | if you read it, reblog it. 

WORDCOUNT― 22.5k

PAIRING― mark lee x fem reader | doyoung  x fem reader

CONTENT― doyoung is 27, reader is 25, mark is 22. boyfriend doyoung, perverted/shy college boy mark, panty stealing, hidden intimacy, needy mark, dom-ish doyoung in smaller/less detailed smut scenes, reader is definitely a switch depending on who she is looking at, uh, brief mention of haechan raging at mark through a headset while he gets pleasured lmao

WARNINGS― infidelity that doesn’t get exposed, foot job but only bc i can’t figure out how to write a scene like this if it’s not her foot lmao

NOTE― not me back at it again with the cheating fics. Idk, i have a thing for mark cucking but also hidden things, and the idea of having both of them :D no, i do not condone cheating..  shoutout to my wife and other ultimate mark fucker @mrkis​ for discussing and brainstorming this shit with me, also for editing it and fixing all of my embarrassing typos.

smut tags under cut:: 

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[pinkczennie]

Premium Boy-Toy (l.j)

the one where your best friend gifts you an entire man, and that man just so happens to be in high demand for everyone but you, until now at least.

ao3 | m.list | minors dni! | if you read it, reblog it.

requested by anon: “I don’t like getting off on my own.” + “No one’s ever touched fucked me like this,”

wordcount― 10.3k

pairing― stripper!Jeno x afab reader

content― switch jeno, rich/lonely reader, jeno gets kinda in a weird headspace after he cums lmao

note― congrats, you are witnessing the fact that i cannot defend that this is basically smut from start to finish. theres a lil bit of sugar baby jeno at the end tho so…um, also there’s probably so many typos and way too many commas in this but to be fair i was in horny jail and just fucking going.

smut tags under cut:

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[pinkczennie]

oh no, mr suh, please don’t spank me

johnny x fem reader

cameo: taeyong

genre: !!smut!!, roommates au, fake enemies to lovers, a little tiny fluffy angst bc it’s my brand apparently

warnings: a lot of mutual teasing, finger sucking, sexting, solo f and m, spanking, marking, dry humping, hand job, fingering, slight cum play, not protected, overstimulation f and m, multiple orgasms, penetration, manhandling, oral m and f, tiny degradation (sparse use of ‘little slut’), rough

words: 7K

it’s finally here!! this one is very juicy haha good luck I guess :) keep your panties dry challenge

taglist: @comically-sleep-deprived​ @strawberrymilkandcigarettes​ @theworld-accordingtocasey​ @kibumingi​

_____

“Johnny, get lost." 

You raised your eyes to meet Johnny’s peaceful face in the middle of the corridor, one of them still twitching for waking up so early. 

He smirked and didn’t move. 

You made a step on the right. 

He did the same. 

"John,” you made a step on the left. 

His body kept blocking your way. 

“Why? Are you busy?” His voice was deep and thick like honey and in other circumstances you would have wanted to listen to it forever. But that morning you woke up without a single ounce of patience. 

You sighed and rolled your eyes. “Yes, unlike you." 

"I’m also busy.”

“Oh yeah? Doing what?" 

"Getting between your legs.”

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[pinkczennie]

all these years → j.jh

PAIRING: jaehyun x fem!reader

GENRE: fluff, smut, angst; childhood friends-to-lovers!au, college!au, neighbors!au

WORD COUNT: 34.5k

CONTENTS: loss of virginity, unprotected sex (reader is on birth control), oral (giving and receiving), fingering, breast/nipple play, praise kink, and probably some more things i’m forgetting whoops

AUTHOR’S NOTE: it’s out!! this was anonymously commissioned, and i really hope you guys like it! i am on my knees begging you for feedback; i worked super hard on this story and would love to hear what you thought! okay; enjoy your read!

Summer.

Jeong Jaehyun is four years old. Well, he’s four and a half years old, and if you were to ask him about his opinion on girls, he’d tell you that they’re gross and full of cooties. 

You are four years old, and your mom told you that if you want a bike that badly, you’d have to raise at least $10 of it by yourself. That would explain why you’re standing behind an upturned box with a sweating pitcher of lemonade and cups, a sign saying “Lemonade, 50¢” attached to the front of the box.

When Jaehyun sees you for the first time, he’s struck with a childlike wonder. He tugs on his mom’s dress and gestures in your general direction. 

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[pinkczennie]

Always Be My Maybe | Doyoung (m)

Part of this collab! Pairing: Doyoung x female reader Word Count: 10.1k Genre: romance, smut, slight angst Warnings: 18+, unprotected sex, explicit sexual content, mature language Author’s note: mainly based off the movie “Always Be My Maybe”

It’s been several years since the last time you stepped foot on this familiar road after walking away from this place you once called home. After gaining recognition and popularity as a famous chef, you moved away from your hometown to start a new life, leaving your past life behind. 

From being a single person managing your career, you eventually hired a managing team, a manager, and trustworthy employees to help elevate your business. 

Your managing team suggested expanding your restaurant to different locations, and one of those locations happened to be in your hometown. There was a new building currently being constructed in a once empty lot that they thought would be the perfect location and size to open up another restaurant in your name, so obviously you agreed. Anything to be able to expand your business.

The time frame would be two months to discuss the interior, the menu, new hiring staff, and so much more. Not only that, but a few magazine companies wanted to have you on the front cover of their upcoming magazine, so your presence was requested. And so, a couple weeks later and one booked plane ticket, you arrived at your destination. 

Many of the stores you used to grow up with have either shut down business or have been taken over by a bigger company, but you remember walking down these exact streets as a teenager. 

A temporary house was rented out to you for the next two months that you’ll be staying in, while your team has a separate accommodation nearby within walking distance. After dropping off your luggages, a black car came to pick you up. 

Your manager texted you that she arrived first and went inside already since the interior designers were there as well, so she got the approval to take a sneak peak. When you finally arrive at your destination, your head nods in approval of the outside appearance of the white, modern structure. 

“Well thank you for hiring us to work on your restaurant.” You hear a male voice say, probably one of the interior designers.

Excited, you enter the building with a smile and want to apologize to the team for arriving later than your manager. Before you could open your mouth to express your sincere apologies, your eyes widened at a particular person talking to your manager.

“Oh there she is,” your manager says to the person she was just talking to, noticing you entered the room. The male looked in your direction, ready to greet the chef he was going to be helping for the next two months, but now it was his turn for his eyes to go wide.

You don’t know how long you were staring, but you’re pretty sure you have been staring long enough for people to know that you’re staring at someone. But not just any someone, it was someone who brought back bittersweet memories of shy firsts and your first heartbreak. 

Kim Doyoung.

The man sported a well-tailored navy blue suit, with a matching tie. His raven-black hair was styled back with gel, showcasing how mature and proper he looks.

“Doyoung?” 

“Y/n?”

You both say at the same time.

A swirl of emotions swarmed your heart from hearing your name coming out of his lips again: nostalgia, sadness, surprise.  Best friends: that’s what you two would call each other back then before an incident occurred that destroyed the friendship.

After university, you became a more independent person. It was only you and just you. No parents by your side and no close friends.

Growing up, your parents were both workaholics, always leaving you alone at home while they both worked. As time passed, you wished they would at least find some time in their busy schedule to spend with you but eventually became numb to their lack of presence. 

You didn’t want to carry your past with you, which is why you tried to make a new start in another city. Even after 15 years, you never would have thought you would reunite with the male you once had history with.

Despite falling out of each other's lives, Doyoung secretly kept up with your accomplishments by reading about them in the news and seeing it on television. It was no surprise to him that you were a famous chef, but he never would have thought he would cross paths with you again since you moved away. His supervisor did not state who he would be working with, only stating that he trusted Doyoung for this job based on his excellent work evaluation.

“Oh, do you two know each other?” Your manager, Seulgi, asks, noticing the intense staring contest.

“Yeah,” you awkwardly reply back. “We used to be neighbors.”

It wasn’t a lie but it was probably best not to say anything more than that, you assume. Your manager would surely ask questions if she knew you two used to be best friends.

Seulgi, noticing the weird response, didn’t press on any further and cleared her throat. “Well, alright then, we should hurry up and get started, your parents want you to stop by whenever you have any free time.”

When news got to your parents of your successful career, they suddenly had time for you. They would call you occasionally and even came to visit you from time to time. It was weird with your parents trying to be in your life as an adult, but you tried your best to establish a good relationship with them after how they shaped your childhood. 

“Right,” You internally groan, not at the fact that your parents want to see you, but the fact that for the next two months, you’ll be seeing a lot more of Doyoung. Because your relationship with him is currently unknown at the moment, you’re not sure how to act around him. Upset at how he treated you? Pretend like nothing happened? You’re not sure.

However, in order to maintain professionalism, you didn’t let your past with Doyoung impact how you treated him at work. On the outside, you treated Doyoung like everyone else in order to not garner any more questions after that weird first meeting.

It appears that Doyoung is doing the same thing. His supervisor trusted him with this assignment and he will not let him down. This is just strictly work.

After many hours of discussing with the interior designers about the layout for how you’d like the room to look, the sun has finally set in the horizon. Everybody bids everyone goodbye until tomorrow. You thank every member of the interior design team that came today to help with the restaurant. When Doyoung was the last person, you awkwardly thank him for his hard work and Doyoung does the same thing.

Once the building was locked up from intruders, everyone headed to their respective cars. Your manager waves at you before you’re escorted to your parent’s house. 

As you make your way towards your parent’s house, you look up and stare at the familiar building next door. It was the one place you considered “home” during your childhood, which so happens to be Doyoung’s house.

The car comes to a stop in front of your destination and you thank the driver before stepping out. It’s like the universe timed this perfectly, because as you walk up the sidewalk, Doyoung is walking up the other side of the sidewalk, right in front of you, which means he just came back at the same time as you.

“Hey,” Doyoung greets. 

“Hi,” you reply back.

“Here to see your parents?”

“Yup,” you nod.

“Well, whenever you have the chance, come by and visit. I’m sure my dad would love to see you again. 

“I will.”

“Cool,” he nods. “I should get going now, I don’t want to keep you-oh, shit! Dad, you scared me.” 

“Sorry, son. I was just going to take out the trash before you got h-”

He notices a familiar figure from the corner of his eyes and he practically lights up when he sees who it is. “Y/n!”

“Mr. Kim!” you happily greet.

Mr. and Mrs. Kim were considered your parents more than your biological parents during your childhood. They always invited you over for dinner, and Mrs. Kim even taught you how to cook which was extremely helpful in university and your career path. 

“Wow, look at you. I haven’t seen you in so long. How have you been?”

“I’ve been good, Mr. Kim. You look great as ever! How have you not aged?” Mr. Kim practically looked the same, minus the gray hairs on his head but of course that will come with age. 

“I wash my face with soap,” he playfully jokes and you burst out laughing.

“Wow, it’s been so long since I last saw you two together,” Mr.Kim says as he looks between you and Doyoung. Oh how you two have grown.

You and Doyoung awkwardly glance at each other.

Mr. Kim insists you join them for dinner and you found it very hard to say no to the man you considered your father more than your own father growing up. You’ll have to lie to your parents later, saying something happened and that you’ll visit them another day.

You stepped inside and it was like nothing changed. There was a picture of Doyoung, Mr. and Mrs. Kim inside a black frame. You smile fondly as you stare at young Doyoung with his chubby cheeks and thick glasses, and especially at Mrs. Kim’s smiling face. Oh how you’ve missed her dearly. Memories of the day of her funeral crosses your mind.

When you both were in high school, the tragic news of Doyoung’s mother’s passing came. That was when everything went downhill. You think that Doyoung was unable to register the harsh reality that his own mother passed, so he became distant, quiet, and even easily agitated. 

After the funeral, you were both quietly sitting in Doyoung’s car inside an empty parking lot. Doyoung just needed to get away from everything for a moment so time passed by so quickly that the sun was long gone before he even noticed. 

Doyoung stared blankly at nothing while you tried to occasionally peek over from the passenger seat to see if Doyoung would say anything. But he never did. So you finally decided to break the silence and tense atmosphere. “Doyoung, talk to me, are you okay?” 

Responding to your question took so much energy that he just croaks in a monotone voice, “No, I’m not okay. I can’t believe my mom is gone. She’s really gone.”

You lean back against your seat and sadly stare at Doyoung’s sullen state. It hurts to lose someone you care about, but it hurts more to see the person you care deeply about feeling upset and lost. 

You didn’t know what else to do, but something within you compelled you to suddenly lean in and place a kiss onto Doyoung’s lips. When you pull back, you both stare at each other with wide eyes, the gears turning in both your heads as to what just happened: you kissed Doyoung.

“Oh my god, Doyoung. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I suddenly did that,” You panicked as you slowly backed away and sank into your seat.

That was your first kiss. That might also be Doyoung’s first kiss too and you just did that to him? 

Doyoung just stares at your panicked state. The tips of your ears were red and your eyes were wide as you mentally screamed at yourself for doing what you just did. That was unexpected, to say the least. Never in a million years did he think you would be his first kiss, but he wanted to feel your lips on his lips again.

Next thing you know, he leans in to kiss you. Unlike your brief peck, he cups your cheeks with both hands and deepens the kiss. Just for a moment, he wants to forget about his mother’s death and to cherish this one moment that he is having with you.

The action caught you off guard and you stayed still as a statue for a second as you registered the fact that Doyoung is kissing you back. Rather than feeling disgust or shock, you close your eyes and reciprocate his actions. 

Your hands grip onto Doyoung’s shoulders when a tongue slips in. The mood suddenly shifts and hands begin roaming around each other's bodies. 

You don’t question why Doyoung keeps a single condom in his wallet, as long as you two had some form of protection for your first time because you did not want to get pregnant and Doyoung did not want to get you pregnant either.

Clothes were being removed as skin came into contact with skin and sounds of pleasure would escape each other’s lips. Thankfully, there was no one nearby because the car was shaking and the windows were fogging up on the inside. There was, also, a trash can outside to discard the used condom. 

Once that steamy moment was over, you and Doyoung quietly lay next to each other in the back seat, silently catching your breaths. Let’s just say it was very quiet and awkward afterwards. You two just had sex with each other. What are two friends who suddenly had sex with each other supposed to do afterwards?

Doyoung cleared his throat to break the silence and asked, “You hungry?”

Realizing he was trying to act normal after what just happened, you nod, “Yeah.”

After redressing, Doyoung drives you to get some food in silence. He drives you to the nearest fast food chain that was open at this hour and orders a burger and soda. Neither you nor Doyoung could look at each other, especially not after seeing each other naked and knowing how the other sounds, so the meal was filled with silence and awkward air. 

You sigh loudly, thinking it would be the best course of action to talk it out unless you two want to stay awkward forever. “Doyoung, I know you’re upset right now because you lost your mom. I lost her too and I understand the pain you’re going through right no-”

“No, you don’t,” Doyoung fires back. He was currently annoyed and frustrated and decided to let his anger out on you.

You arch an eyebrow at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“She’s not your actual mother so you don’t know what I’m going through. Just leave me alone already.” 

There was a stinging pain in your heart after hearing Doyoung’s words. Sure, biologically, she was not your mother, but you viewed her as your mother compared to your actual mother. She treated you like her own daughter as well.

Unable to sit here any longer and eat next to the man in front of you, you drop the burger back on the tray before standing up with the tray in your hand.

“You’re an asshole,” You spat before walking away from Doyoung and out of his life.

Doyoung regretted his outburst because he knew, at that moment, he lost you, but he was too stubborn and upset with himself to chase after you. 

He lived with regret for many years until he buried the memories into the farthest part of his brain and continued to live his life.

That was the last time you ever saw or spoke to him. 

Who knew that you’d be here again, in the same place you had the fondest memories with the people you considered family. It was the same home that you remembered coming over to everyday after school to have dinner with his family. The house looks a little worn down, but that was expected after how many years have passed. Other than that, nothing much has changed despite being away for more than a decade.

You stare at the dinner table that was full of cooked food. The layout was still the same: four sets of chairs like nothing has changed. You took a bite and the flavors gave you nostalgia. You’re so used to your cooking that eating food made by a parent just tastes different. 

“So, how has life been now that you’re a chef?” Mr. Kim asks as he takes a bite of his dinner. Just like Doyoung, he kept up with your accomplishments on the news as well.

“It’s been good. I get to do what I love and travel to different places. What about you, Mr. Kim?”

“Oh you know, same job. I’m about to retire though, so that’s good.”

The entire dinner was just you and Mr.Kim chatting together, while Doyoung was making comments from the sideline. 

“Oh, by the way, if you have time, you should come see Doyoung’s performance!” Mr. Kim suggests.

“Performance?” You repeat, unsure if you heard him correctly. 

“Yeah! Doyoung here is in a band,” Mr. Kim states, proudly patting said man that was sitting beside him on the shoulders.

“You’re in a band?” You ask, turning to Doyoung with wide eyes.

Doyoung and his current bandmates met back in college and decided to form a band, which has lasted a few years now and is still going on pretty strong. They perform in local bars and have a small following on social media.

Doyoung hesitantly nods, “Yeah. I’m even the lead singer.”

You knew Doyoung was in choir during high school but never really heard him sing before, so the fact that he sings in a band is quite shocking to you, especially for someone like Doyoung whom you never pictured as a performer (haha). 

Mr. Kim rummages through a pile of papers and hands you a flier, “Here you go.”

The paper flier had the word “NCT” on the top in big bold letters, which you assume must be the name of his band. It said that the performance was tomorrow night.

“Tomorrow at 7:30 PM? Oh…my schedule is a little tight, but I’ll see if I can make it,” you smile at Mr. Kim with a nod and continue to eat your dinner. 

—

Today, you were scheduled to have a photoshoot with a famous magazine company to have your pictures on the front cover of the next magazine as they talk about the opening of your newest restaurant. Your hair and makeup were done by professionals before the photographer took a few pictures of you. Afterwards, there was an interview process where all the questions and responses will be written on the magazine page. 

Unconsciously, you kept checking the time, internally sighing in relief when time was not passing by as fast as you thought. Your schedule for the day ended a lot faster than you expected. Glancing at your watch, you see that it was one hour before Doyoung’s performance. Seeing that you had finished all your schedules today, it wouldn’t hurt to go see Doyoung tonight. You were curious as to what kind of performance Doyoung was going to show.

After changing into more laid back clothes, you have your driver take you to the location Doyoung was going to perform in. 

The place was small, but there were quite some people who attended. You walk through the crowd, closer to the stage where another band was currently playing. 

You take in the scenario of people mingling in groups with alcoholic drinks in their hands. People were jamming to the band currently playing before the song came to an end.

“Alright everyone, up next is NCT!” The host announces as the current band exits the stage. 

The crowd erupts in cheers and applauds. You couldn’t help but clap too, excited to see Doyoung and his band tonight. After the announcement, you see Doyoung and his band members excitedly making their way towards the front stage. 

“Hello everyone, this is our new song called “Without You”, we hope you like it!” Doyoung announces into the microphone.

With one last cheer from the audience, the band begins to play. You watch as they slowly start to strum their instruments, anticipating Doyoung’s part. You can’t help but think how good looking Doyoung looks at this moment, especially with his tight black jeans hugging his thighs, and his black t-shirt tucked under the jeans that accentuates how slim his waist is. With an inhale, Doyoung brings the microphone closer to his mouth and begins to sing.  

“Like a child who has grown up Like a tree that is left alone”

When Doyoung finishes the first couple lines of his song, you were in shock. His voice was so heavenly. Did he always have such an amazing singing voice?

“I need your warmth It tells me that I’m alright I need you, I need you”

As Doyoung continued to sing, he spotted you from the corner of his eye amongst the crowd. His eyes widened before the corner of his lips perked up into a smile. It gave him a boost of confidence knowing that you were watching him tonight that he felt like he had to give it his all in this song.

“Even when I close my eyes, I feel your warmth You’re my companion Who will walk next to me You give me comfort I’m with you”

Smiling fondly up at your once close friend, your head starts banging to the rhythm of the music. Doyoung notices and smiles as he continues to sing his heart out. Moments like this brought back the happy times you and Doyoung shared together in the past. For a second, it felt like the fight never happened and you two were friends again.

“If we’re together, it’ll be happier We’ll be endlessly connected Can’t live without you”

Once the song was over, the crowd erupts into cheers. You joined along and cheered for them as well. The song was really good but what truly blew you away was Doyoung’s vocals. His voice was so velvety, well fitting for a sad upbeat song like the one he just sang. The song was almost meant for Doyoung.

“Thank you for coming!” Doyoung shouts.

As the crowd slowly disperses, Doyoung grabs you from the audience to take you outside where you guys could chat better without the crowds. The outside air felt cool, compared to being cramped inside a stuffy room with a bunch of people.

“Wow, Doyoung you were really good,” you praise.

“Thanks. I’m surprised you actually came,” Doyoung admits. Truthfully, he didn’t think you’d actually show up to watch him perform.

“Yeah. Well, I finished my tasks for the day so I thought I’d drop by to see you perform,” you honestly confess.

“Alright, let me introduce you to the band.” You follow Doyoung and are greeted by his members. “Y/n, these are my band members. 

“Hi, I’m Taeil!” He eagerly greets as you both shake hands. “It’s a pleasure to be meeting you.” 

“I’m Kun. Wow, it’s so nice to meet you,” Kun beams as you shake his hands next. “Doyoung told us you two were childhood friends and that you might be coming tonight, but I almost didn’t believe him.”

“Hi, I’m Taeyong. I’m the drummer,” he states as you shake his hand.

“And I’m Jaehyun. Nice to meet you, y/n,” he shakes your hand gently and gives you a subtle wink after saying your name.

That wink did not go unnoticed by two people, you and Doyoung. 

Jaehyun is confident in his looks and is known to be the flirt in the friend group, but no one was expecting him to go after Doyoung’s childhood friend. It’s not like Doyoung explicitly told any of them that you and him were anything beyond friends so Jaehyun believes it’s fair game, but Doyoung isn’t quite fond of the thought of Jaehyun trying anything with you.

“Are you hungry?” Doyoung suddenly asks you to avert your attention from Jaehyun.

“Yeah, I could go for a bite,” you say.

Taeil gasps, “Y/n, it would be an honor if you let me cook for you.”

“Sure. I’d love that!”

And that’s how you all end up at Taeil’s apartment as he cooks dinner for you. Doyoung was practically raving to you about how amazing Taeil’s cooking is, so you had pretty high expectations especially as a chef. He settles on a simple dish, nothing too complicated that will take too long, something that he’s comfortable with because he is fairly confident it will taste good. 

While Taeil was in the kitchen making dinner, everyone else was in the living room. There was light chatter, or more like everyone trying to talk to you, while they waited for Taeil to finish cooking. 

“I see why Taeil and Kun are fans of such a pretty chef like you.” Jaehyun says as he looks you up and down.

“Well thank you, I must admit you looked good tonight yourself,” you reply back with a wink.

Jaehyun’s flirtatious advances were quite obvious to everyone, but you don’t mind considering he’s quite good looking, so you play along with it. 

Meanwhile, Doyoung was quietly frowning as he observed this interaction. He doesn’t really like seeing Jaehyun trying to flirt with you, but what makes it worse is that you’re reciprocating his flirting. The problem is the fact that Doyoung can’t decipher if this is jealousy or disgust that Jaehyun is But what can he do? It’s not like there’s anything going on between you two so Doyoung 

After about an hour, dinner was ready. The food was served with a glass of red wine for this special occasion. 

“Wow Taeil, this food is delicious,” you state as you chew thoroughly on the food to get all the flavors.

Taeil’s eyes sparkle with joy. “I can’t believe she likes my cooking.”

After feasting on Taeil’s delicious cooking, you stand up to help him wash the dishes.

“Oh no please y/n, you’re a guest.”

“Please Taeil, I insist.”

While you and Taeil were practically fighting to do the dishes, Doyoung watched from the living room floor with a soft smile. It reminds him of when you would insistently try to help his mother wash the dishes even though she insisted you were a guest and didn’t need to help with the dishes but you insisted no matter what. 

“You like her, don’t you?” Doyoung hears Taeyong whisper from his side, only loud enough for him to hear but not enough for Jaehyun and Kun who were on the other side of the living room to hear. The man could practically see the jealousy in Doyoung’s eyes earlier from Jaehyun’s flirting. 

“I mean I used to, but-”

“Does she know?”

“No. And I don’t plan to tell her,” Doyoung states. Taeyong doesn’t know about how the friendship ended.

“Why not? You might regret not telling her. Who knows, maybe she felt the same way about you,” Taeyong persuades. 

“I doubt it,” Doyoung sighs.

Once the dishes are all done, the night doesn’t end there. In fact, Doyoung’s bandmates really wanted you to stay so they tried their best to come up with things to keep you here longer. It’s not every day they get to be in the same room with a famous chef that so happens to be friends with someone from their friend group.

“Why don’t we play some games?” Taeyong suggests. “We could start off with some ice breakers to get to know y/n a little better and for her to know us a little better too!”

“Uh, I don’t know if y/n has any more time to stay-”

“That sounds fun,” you cut in. 

Maybe it was because you became a workaholic yourself just like your parents during most of your adulthood, but you didn’t really get to make many friends after gaining a successful career. Most of your time was spent at the restaurant. Sure, you had your manager and your team as your friends, but you didn’t have many friends outside of work. Not only that, but Doyoung’s bandmates seem fun and you didn’t want to leave just yet. 

A relationship was out of the question for obvious reasons, so you didn’t think about pursuing a significant other and focused on your work as a distraction from letting the pain get to you. Sure you slept around with some guys here and there, but nothing ever serious because you were already married to your job. 

Taeil pulls out some paper and pens and each person writes an ice breaker question, something to get to know the players more on a deeper level. The papers were folded up and placed inside a bowl, so the players will pick a random question anonymously. Everyone sits in a circle, with Doyoung on your right and Jaehyun on your left. It was a unanimous decision that the oldest goes first, which is Taeil.

The game starts off with a fun question, like ‘reveal an embarrassing secret of yours’. Everyone goes in a circle and tells everyone an embarrassing secret. 

Doyoung tells the embarrassing story from his childhood where he accidentally gave himself a bad haircut after cutting it while watching a tutorial and you laugh because you were the only one who knew why he wore beanies and hats for a whole month in middle school. An embarrassing story of yours happened in high school when you took a nap in class while waiting for Doyoung after school and woke up to a pile of saliva on your table. You and Doyoung both laugh at each other at the memories from your youth.

Next was Taeyong, who pulled a ‘fuck, marry, kill’ paper with a list of anime characters. The conversation ended up spiraling to smash or pass fictional characters. 

Then, came your turn. “Reveal one of your childhood crushes.” Your eyes widen at the question. Everyone stares at you intently, especially Doyoung. You’ve never told Doyoung about anyone you had a crush on before. It’s almost ironic that you would get this question.

“Okay. Um…well my childhood crush was Doyoung,” you confess, hesitantly looking at the man for his reaction.

Almost everyone was shocked, especially Doyoung who almost didn’t believe you. You used to like him? 

“What? For how long?”

“For…years,” you admit.

Doyoung was in shock because you’ve never shown any sort of interest in him or any signs that you saw him that way when you were kids.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Doyoung asks.

Just like you, Doyoung never really showed that he liked you as something more or if he ever thought of you in any other way besides friends. That’s why you buried your feelings deep in your heart, not wanting to ruin the friendship you had with Doyoung. As long as you could stay by his side, you were content with that. 

“Because I was young and scared that you wouldn’t like me back,” you shrug.

“You should have told me. We could have been-” Doyoung stops his sentence.

You stare at Doyoung in anticipation. What was he about to say?

“I mean…I always thought ‘maybe’, but…” Doyoung was at a loss for words. Meanwhile, everyone was staring at him to finish his sentence. 

“Okay, why don’t we continue on? My childhood crush was…” Kun interjects and Doyoung is thankful that his bandmate was able to read the room and save him from any more embarrassment.

The game continues until it gets late. Everyone had to get ready for work the next day, so the night ends there.

Jaehyun noticeably stopped flirting with you after that situation, which Doyoung was quietly thankful for. There was clearly some unresolved tension between you two, so Jaehyun didn’t want to get involved especially since it has to do with Doyoung, his friend and bandmate. 

“Let me take you home,” Doyoung offers as you both make your way out of Taeil’s apartment.

“Sure,” you thank him.

Your jaw drops when you realize Doyoung was going to drive you in the exact same car he had in high school. It was a little beat up from how many years he has driven the vehicle, but it brought you back to memories of the night you two had inside.

After that night many years ago, you never would have thought that you would be here again: in the passenger seat of Doyoung’s car. Doyoung feels the same way, thinking he completely lost you after the night of his mother’s funeral.  

The headlights cast a light for Doyoung to see in the dark road. “Falling” by Harry Styles is softly playing in the background at a low volume as he drives you back home, and it’s fairly quiet besides the music and the engine until Doyoung coughs to get your attention. “So…you had a crush on me?”

“Oh my god, Doyoung,” you groan with a roll of your eyes. “Yes, I did. Thanks for noticing.”

Doyoung laughs before there’s a small pause, a quiet silence filling the air as he makes a right turn. 

“I used to have a crush on you too,” Doyoung admits.

You swivel your head to look at Doyoung with shocked eyes. “Since when?”

“Since middle school.”

That was around the same time you started developing feelings for him as well. 

“Wow, I guess we’re both oblivious to each other’s feelings,” you laugh.

This whole time you and Doyoung both liked each other but were too afraid to say anything to each other in fear of the other not reciprocating their feelings back. As much as they regret it now, it’s understandable to prefer hiding their feelings rather than destroying a good friendship. 

“Yeah,” Doyoung laughs alongside you. “Thankfully, that got Jaehyun to stop flirting with you.”

“Did it make you jealous?” you tease. 

“Maybe.”

You chuckle knowingly. Tonight went a lot better than you assumed, along with an unexpected turn of events. 

Unfortunately, the drive back to your place was a lot shorter than you had hoped because your house was coming into view.

“It’s right here,” you point towards the direction of your house and he pulls up to the street in front of your house. 

You unbuckle your seatbelt and stare at Doyoung. “Thanks for the ride.”

“Y/n, wait-” Before you were about to step out of the car, Doyoung grabbed your arm which stopped you. “I’m really sorry for what I did to you when we were in high school. I didn’t mean to. I was just angry, and upset and I lashed it out on you. I’m sorry, y/n.”

Part of you was no longer as mad as Doyoung as you used to be. Maybe it was because of how long ago the situation happened that your anger for Doyoung slowly died down. The fight was never forgotten, but you knew very well that you would forgive Doyoung the moment he sincerely apologized. Losing Doyoung as a friend hurt even more. 

For many years now, Doyoung wanted to apologize to you but never thought he would see you again or thought you never wanted to talk to him again. He wanted to wait for the opportunity to apologize to you in person and today felt like the right time. 

“I forgive you, Doyoung,” your eyes soften. “I had fun tonight.”

“Me too,” Doyoung smiles, thankful that you accept his apology.

Even though you were going to see Doyoung tomorrow, a part of you didn’t want to end the night like this. In fact, you wanted to stay with Doyoung just a little bit longer. 

“I missed you.” There was longing in your eyes when you said those three words, because after all these years apart, not a day goes by where you didn’t miss Doyoung. You missed his laughter, his gummy smile, late night conversations, everything. You wanted to be there for him through the good times and bad times.

“I missed you too.” Everyday, a part of him regrets not chasing after you that night and making things right. Losing you was like losing his other half and it hurts just as much as losing his mother.

It was quiet as you both gazed into each other’s eyes. Nothing but the sound of crickets chirping from outside and the engine of Doyoung’s car. It was dark but you can both see each other’s faces, engaging in an intense staring contest in the dark. 

Doyoung’s not sure why but he really wanted to kiss you right now, and so he does. Just like you many years ago, he’s not sure what compelled him to do it, but the moment just felt right. Doyoung leans in with closed eyes and presses his lips against yours. You close your eyes and lean in to kiss him back. The kiss felt so different, like it held so many silent meanings and repressed emotions. 

Doyoung cups your cheeks to pull you in deeper. Your lips are soft and he can taste the hint of wine you had back at Taeil’s house. Soon, the kiss becomes desperate and it becomes way too heated inside the cramped vehicle.

Rather than staying inside Doyoung’s car, you continue to make out as you both make your way inside your house. As soon as you enter your house and shut the door, Doyoung backs you up against your living room wall. Your lips don’t break apart as you both try to maneuver your way upstairs to your room. Clothes are slowly being stripped off and carelessly littered all around the house until you’re both naked by the time you both hit the bed. 

Drool dribbles down your chin as you both continue to taste each other. A string of saliva connects between your lips when you both pull away for air and stare into each other's lust-filled eyes.

Doyoung hungrily sucks on the skin all over your chest and neck while you stroke Doyoung’s dick. He’s a lot bigger than you remembered him to be. You use the precum that was pooling from the tip to smear around his length as lube. 

One hand comes up to cup your heat and Doyoung groans from how absolutely soaked you are. Two fingers slip past your entrance, causing you to gasp at the sudden penetration. He mentally curses when he realizes he doesn’t have a condom on him at the moment.

“Do you have a condom?”

You shake your head at the question.

“Fuck,” he curses. “Are you on the pill?”

“I am,” you nod.

Doyoung sighs in relief. “Okay good. Because I don’t think I can stop.” 

It almost hurts how hard he is right now. This is the first time he’s seeing your naked body in all its glory. He’s only touched your skin underneath your clothes, but never got to lay his eyes on your figure.

Doyoung backs you up until you fall back against your plush bed. He hovers over body as he gives his cock a few pumps.

“Doyoung, please,” you whine. “Hurry, I want you so badly.”

Hearing you practically beg for him made something in Doyoung snap. He wants you too. He wants you so badly that he can’t stand it. He aligns the tip to your entrance before fully sheathing himself inside your tight walls, filling you to the brim with his cock. 

You and Doyoung both throw your head back with a mutual groan from the feeling of finally being connected. It felt so good and overwhelming, despite the initial pain of being stretched open. He’s not the biggest you’ve ever had, but your overwhelming desire for this man right here is what makes the sensation the most satisfying. 

Doyoung only gave you a moment to adjust before both hands held your waist in place as his hips slowly started to move in and out. He couldn’t wait any longer as it felt like your pussy was trying to swallow him up.

“Oh my god,” you moan as your arms clutch desperately onto Doyoung’s shoulders. 

Soon, the pace picks up when you moan for Doyoung to go faster. Loud squelches from your pussy and the headboard slamming against the wall could be heard. 

“Yes! You feel so good!” you practically scream as his length slams deep inside you that his balls were slapping against your ass with each animalistic thrust.

Your mind is so clouded with want and desire that you don’t even bother hiding how loud you are and Doyoung doesn’t want you to be quiet either. He wants to hear how good he’s making you feel. There might be a complaint from the neighbors tomorrow, but that will be a later problem to deal with.

It’s been a while since you two have slept with anyone, so your orgasms approach faster than you expected. 

“I’m cumming!” You scream as your eyes roll to the back and your back arches as you release all over Doyoung’s cock.

Doyoung was close as well as he stares at your blissed out expression and feels your walls pulsating as he continues his brutal pace through your orgasm. He could feel your juices practically coating his entire length and down his balls. 

“I’m going to cum too,” Doyoung pants.

“Inside me,” your legs wrap around Doyoung’s back to prevent him from pulling out. 

Doyoung thrusts a few more times, chanting your name like a mantra, before he spills all his seeds inside you. It felt warm and thick that it was overflowing out of your pussy from the sheer amount. 

The room feels like it’s spinning as you both are panting desperately for air after coming down from the high.

However, it seems like one round was not enough for the both of you. In fact, even after Doyoung finished coming inside of you, he was still hard. The legs wrapped around his waist made it difficult for Doyoung to pull out anyways and gave him a nonverbal sign to go another round. So you two continued again and again.

It’s like the two of you couldn’t detach from each other’s bodies after being connected. Doyoung takes you from behind, in front of the mirror, on your knees, with your face down shoved in the pillows and ass up. 

After multiple rounds that got lost in count, Doyoung pulls out from you to clean the cum out of you with a towel from your bathroom. You whine from the loss and the feeling of his release dripping out of your pussy.

That night, you and Doyoung laid in your bed with your limbs wrapped around each other as if the other was about to disappear any minute now. The man stares lovingly into your eyes, his dark orbs shining under the moonlight.

This felt so much different from the first time you two had awkward sex. Tonight, you two made love to each other. 

“You’ve gotten better,” you stated, jokingly referring to that time in his car back in high school.

“Thanks, I had practice,” Doyoung boasts.

“I can tell,” you laugh.

This felt right. This felt like home: by each other’s side. 

“I love you, y/n,” Doyoung confesses as he brushes a strand of your hair away. Even though many years have passed, he still remembers that warm feeling of being in love with you. His confession came from the bottom of his heart, full of sincerity.

You could die peacefully at this moment. Your childhood crush just told you he loves you. After many years of uncertainty that he only thought of you as a friend, you finally hear those three words that prove he feels the same way about you the way you feel about him. Your heart melts at his confession and you smile widely before replying back, “I love you too, Doyoung.”

Doyoung smiles widely before leaning in to gently kiss your lips again.

“Does this mean you’ll be my girlfriend?” Doyoung officially asks.

Because you two have been best friends and practically know each other so well, he thinks there’s no need for the dating phase.

“Only if you’ll be my boyfriend.” Laughter fills the room at your response. 

You both stare into each other’s eyes in adoration for the other, basking in the after sex glow. Even though your bodies were both covered in sweat and other bodily fluids, you two don’t bother to clean yourselves as if you’ll lose this very moment right now if one of you dares to move off of the dirty bed.

Doyoung pulls you in for a tight hug and you feel so absolutely safe in his arms. His heart is beating fast with your face buried in his chest. He missed you so much that he never wants to let you go ever again and you feel the exact same way.

“Stay the night,” you request.

“Of course.” Doyoung had no intention of leaving you tonight after everything that happened, so you both slept peacefully wrapped in each other's arms. 

-

Life continues on. During the day, you get to work alongside Doyoung as he helps prepare the opening of your new restaurant. At night, Doyoung comes over to your house, catching up on all the lost years away from each other while he’s cooking you a meal. It’s nice for a change when someone else is cooking for you when all you do for a living is cook. What was once a quiet house to you became a lively home filled with laughter and happiness with your best friend back in your life again. 

“Wow, you’re not only a good cook, but also an amazing singer,” you praise as you take a bite into the dish Doyoung prepared for you. “Have you considered being a chef yourself?”

“Oh stop,” Doyoung laughs bashfully.

“No, I’m serious!” You exclaim. 

You and Doyoung catch up with each other like old times. Obviously you two keep it professional during work, minus a few stolen kisses and physical contact here and there when there weren’t any watching eyes. People did notice the sudden closeness between you two but didn’t want to question it.

As the interior of your restaurant slowly starts coming together, you’re excited for the grand opening, especially since Doyoung has been by your side each step of the way during this process. You both made this happen together.

On some days when you weren’t scheduled to work at the restaurant, you would ask Doyoung to accompany you to red carpet events and fancy parties. This was his first time and it was very obvious to everyone that you were clearly new to this with how nervous and almost out of place he felt, but he did it all for you. 

“It was really nice of you to come and support y/n,” Seulgi tells Doyoung.

“Of course. She’s my girlfriend after all,” Doyoung replies.

Truthfully, he did feel very out of place, especially at the fancy parties where he would interact with so many important and famous individuals that he would have never thought he would meet. More than half of the attendees there were famous people, while Doyoung was just a regular guy.

For example, a foreign model named Johnny Suh from Chicago came up to you. He was incredibly handsome and much taller and built in comparison to Doyoung, so when you introduce Doyoung as your boyfriend to Johnny, said boyfriend felt like Johnny would be more fit to be your boyfriend than he was. It felt like being with someone from a different world compared to him. 

–

Today is the big day. It was going to be the grand opening of your new restaurant in just a few hours. 

You prepared a long, navy blue satin dress to wear for the ribbon cutting and a matching navy blue suit for Doyoung to wear, both spending hours looking good for tonight.

One night, you and Doyoung were having dinner together, excitedly discussing how you two should match outfits during the grand opening because you want him by your side. 

After being fully dressed and makeup ready, you come out of the bathroom where Doyoung was waiting for you in your bedroom. One glance at you and Doyoung was speechless. Doyoung’s eyes sparkled seeing how beautiful you looked. “Wow, y/n, you look beautiful.”

“Thanks, Do-ie.” You smile as you do a quick twirl for him. “Today’s the big day.”

“Are you excited?” He asks.

A bright smile paints your face, showcasing your excitement. “Yeah. You?”

“I’m kind of nervous.” Doyoung admits.

“Really? Why?”

Doyoung shifts nervously. “Well… after attending all those events with you, it made me realize how different we are. I mean look at you. You’re famous, successful, and living such an extravagant lifestyle while I’m just…average.”

“What’s wrong with being average?”

Doyoung sighs. “I just feel like we’re living in two different worlds.”

You don’t like the direction where this conversation is going. “What? Are you saying you don’t want to be with me?”

“No, I do want to be with you. I just don’t think I can handle the lifestyle you live.” 

“But this is the life I want to live.”

“I’m just saying I don’t know if I could get used to this kind of life.”

“So I assume you moving out of your dad’s house and coming to live with me is out of the question?” You ask. 

With your widespread connections, you have no problem getting Doyoung a new and better job. Finances were not going to be an issue either with another person living with you. Obviously, you were thinking two steps ahead if you wanted to be with Doyoung. 

“And leave my father, friends, job, and band?” Doyoung almost looked appalled that you would even ask that question. “I-I can’t.”

“Are they more important than me?” 

Doyoung groans, “Y/n, please don’t make me choose.”

“Well, how are we going to make this relationship work then?” You question.

“I don’t know,” Doyoung sighs, frustrated.

You live a few hours away from your hometown for Doyoung to be able to visit you freely. Long distance is going to be hard considering the conflicting schedules. 

“If that’s the case…let’s just enjoy these last two days together.” You just state.

“What happens after the two days are over?”

You didn’t want to come to this conclusion, but if there’s nothing else that could be done about the distance between you and Doyoung, then maybe you two shouldn’t be together. 

“Let’s end it,” you concluded. 

Doyoung’s eyes widen at your conclusion and he frantically grabs your arms, “What? Y/n, no!”

“I don’t know what else we could do.”

“So you’re just going to give up on our relationship like that?” Doyoung slightly raised his voice.

It pissed you off at the fact that he thinks you’re the reason why the relationship won’t work. “Give up? I’m the one trying to make this relationship work. You’re the one who’s too scared to take a chance.”

“I’m not scared! I-”

“Yes you are. Because after losing your mother, you always played your life safe and would never go beyond your comfort zone,” you snapped. “You have so much talent and could be doing bigger things but you settle for less.”

Doyoung doesn’t say anything because deep down he knows that you were absolutely right.

“If that’s how you genuinely feel, I won’t force you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, even though I wish you would take a chance and step outside of your comfort zone.” That was the last thing you said before the topic ended.

“I’m leaving. Don’t bother coming anymore,” you spat angrily before storming off to the front door.

Is this how you two are going to end after reuniting 15 years later? Will this relationship always be a maybe?

“Is this goodbye?” Doyoung asks as he chases after you, even though the answer was already obvious. 

You stop in your tracks and turn around with a huff to look Doyoung directly in the eyes. He can see the tears in your ears from where you stood just meters away from him. “I love you, Doyoung. I want to be with you. But I need you to understand that this is my life, my dream, and I’m not going to stop chasing after it. And if you don’t want to come with me then just say it.”

Doyoung stays quiet, words unable to come out of his mouth.

You took his silence as the answer. It hurts, it really hurts knowing this relationship wasn’t going to work, but you nod with a sad smile. 

“I’ll never forget you, Doyoung. Goodbye.” You part ways with one last kiss to his lips before walking away to your car. Doyoung wordless watches you walk away from him once again. The same situation from 15 years ago was happening to him again.

You don’t look back, because you knew it would hurt to see the way Doyoung stares at you, as you drive away with strands of tears falling from your face. You hated how you two ended up fighting again, leaving things unresolved. Maybe you and Doyoung were never meant to be, no matter how much you loved him. 

He watches as the car drives off until it disappears while he stands there, letting you go once again for the second time in his life.

That night, Doyoung locks himself in his room, wanting to be alone with his thoughts. A sad love song plays in the background from his computer.

There’s multiple knocks on the door but Doyoung doesn’t want to deal with anyone at the moment. With his face stuffed into his pillow, the person who was previously knocking on his door ended up coming inside Doyoung’s room anyways. 

“What are you so sulky about?” Mr. Kim asks. “You just came home without a word and locked yourself in your room.” 

“I think me and y/n just broke up,” Doyoung states sadly.

“What? Why?” 

“Because she’s leaving tomorrow to go back to where she lives now.”

“And you’re not going with her?”

“But I have a job here, the band, you-” Doyoung explains.

“I’m sure y/n can get you a job with all the connections she has. And besides, I can look after myself.” Mr. Kim explains.

“What? No you can’t. You lost mom…” Doyoung says. 

Mr. Kim sighs, “Look Doyoung, we both lost your mom. I know you’re scared to leave after your mother died to go out and live your life, but that shouldn’t stop you from being with y/n. It was unfortunate that your mother had to go so soon but I know your mom wouldn’t want you to limit yourself. Do you want to lose y/n too…a second time?”

His dad was right.

The universe gave you two another chance and, right now, he was about to blow that chance away again because of his fears.

But hearing this gave Doyoung the push he needed to finally face his fear and chase after you. Doyoung refuses to lose you a second time. He’ll discuss everything with the company and his bandmates later, because right now he has to get to you. 

He quickly fixes his nice suit and grabs the keys to his car to head into the direction of town. 

Meanwhile, you were preparing for the launch of your newest restaurant. The photographers and reporters were already on the premises and you were trying to distract yourself from the heartbreak you were silently going through. 

You didn’t want this day to be ruined with tears, so you tried your best to appear joyful and delighted but it was practically difficult to get Doyoung off your mind with your team asking where Doyoung was. You gave them a simple reply that he was not going to be coming tonight and your team doesn’t press on any further, noticing your gloomy mood at the mention of Doyoung’s name. 

The evening was approaching, so your manager announced that it was finally time. You exhaled a long breath to get rid of the nerves and put on your best fake smile before walking towards the entrance of your restaurant. 

“Hello and welcome. Thank you for coming to the grand opening of my new restaurant,” you announce as the photographers snap a few photos of you while the cameraman zooms in on your face. 

You grab the giant pair of silver scissors and cut the silk, red ribbon in half to indicate the grand opening of your new restaurant and everyone claps. 

While you were getting your pictures taken, Doyoung came running up breathlessly. He sees you and tries to squeeze past all the paparazzi to get to the front. You notice a familiar person making his way through the crowd and you couldn’t hide the shock from your face.

What is he doing here? 

You watch as Doyoung makes his way closer towards you while the audience murmurs over who this man was that suddenly interrupted you.

Once he was right in front of you, you couldn’t help but blurt out, “Doyoung, what are you doing here?”

“I was thinking about what to say during the ride over here and I realized I was an asshole to you earlier with how we ended things, but now I need to tell you how I feel or else I’ll regret it.” Doyoung starts.

You and the audience all stay silent as you wait for what the man has to say to you.

“I want to be where you are,” Doyoung said. “I don’t care where it is, but I want to make you laugh, be there for you when you’re down, and hold your hand through thick and thin. You’re my best friend and the girl I’ve been in love with for years. I want to have a family and spend the rest of my life with you. I love you, y/n.”

Once he finished his speech, Doyoung’s face turned a slight shade of pink from the fact that he just announced his love for you in front of all these people. Now that the adrenaline was dying down, it just now occurred to him that cameras were recording his entire speech and he might die of embarrassment if he were to see it posted on television.

It took you a moment to process all the words Doyoung just said to you before tears pool into your eyes, blurring your vision and your heart swells with joy. “I love you too, Doyoung.”

An exhale of relief escaped his mouth. He was so nervous that his heart was pounding in anticipation of how you were going to take his speech, but he’s glad you reciprocate his feelings back. He truly doesn’t deserve you for being so forgiving, but that just adds on another reason to not let you go.

“Kiss!” An audience member shouts loudly. Soon, everybody starts chanting, “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

You and Doyoung run towards each other before your lips meet and your arms embrace each other. The audience cheer and clap at the scene before them, almost as if they were watching the end of a romantic movie.

-

Doyoung calls his bandmates to discuss parting ways with the band because he will be with you. At first, he wasn’t sure how they were going to take the news, but he was shocked to say the least when he was greeted with positive responses. Taeyong was especially thrilled to hear that you two finally got together and that Doyoung was moving onto bigger and better things. As his close male friend, Taeyong always knew Doyoung had so much potential and was thankful you helped him realize that.

Mr. Kim helped Doyoung pack up his personal belongings and even assisted moving everything up to your house which is where Doyoung will be staying from now on. As a father, Mr.Kim was sad to see Doyoung leave. But he was also so proud to see Doyoung finally move out and knows that Mrs. Kim would be just as proud that Doyoung moved on from her death to live his life.

Although his coworkers were shocked to hear that Doyoung recently quit, they were happy to hear the news that he will be working with you. They were secretly reading the news articles and seeing pictures of Doyoung with you on social media.

Of course, it does take time for Doyoung to get used to the new lifestyle in a new environment without his father and friends, but he’s more than willing to do it as long as he gets to stay by your side. 

#doyoung fanfic #nct fanfic #doyoung scenario #doyoung smut #nct smut #doyoung fluff #doyoung angst

[pinkczennie]

(s)He's The Man Of My Dreams - nct collab call

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if your bias was the male lead in your favourite chick-flick? Because I have. And now I'm going to make it into a fantasy for everyone to enjoy.

Welcome to '(s)He's The Man Of My Dreams' NCT collab, hosted by @saintlyhyuck thank you to @dollyji for helping me <3

ABOUT.

The theme of this collab is your favourite chick-flick film. I have always had a soft spot for these kind of films, and I can't imagine how great they'd be written into fics with a neo as the lead. Chick-flicks range from happy, to sad, to funny, and sometimes even horror (depending on the chick-flick, of course).

If you don't have a favourite chick-flick, don't be alarmed, I will link a website where you can scroll through all the many films! But if you already have a film in mind, great! You can get started right away.

link one link two

If you like the sound of this, then please continue reading :)

RULES & GUIDELINES.

If you wish to join, send me a message, or an ask with your chosen film and member of choice. Please bear in mind that this is first come first serve!

Once you've been accepted into the collab, make sure to reblog this post so a wider audience can be reached and all the spots can be filled.

All fics written must include the pairing, genre and warnings (if there are any!) and the minimum word count is 1.5k! There is no word limit, so write as much as you want! You must add a 'keep reading'.

This collab is only for member x reader. There will be no member x member, or member x oc pairings.

There will be 10 slots available (one taken by me)

If you are to write smut in your fic, you must be 18 or over. If I find you to be a minor writing smut for this collab, I will kick you out. And if you are a minor who reads/posts smut on your blog, you will not be accepted to join this collab.

I will allow smut for Jisung.

A discord server will be made, I will send you the link (if you wish to join). Ideas, comments, feedback, and help will be offered on the server!

The deadline for this collab is 30th September 2022. Teasers and fics must be posted before this date, but if you need more time than given, let me know. Once the first teaser or fic has been posted, a masterlist will be created.

If you wish to drop out at any time, do it before 1st September 2022.

SLOTS.

Johnny Suh —

Nakamoto Yuta — 10 things i hate about you @strawberrytaeilie

Kim Doyoung — always be my maybe @pinkczennie

Jeong Jaehyun — pretty woman @xunolic

Mark Lee — geek charming @neochan

Huang Renjun —

Lee Jeno — the proposal @sijeuniestories

Lee Haechan — can’t buy me love @euphoriclele

Na Jaemin — my best friends wedding @saintlyhyuck

Zhong Chenle — just my luck @ahgase55g7

Park Jisung —

Copyright 2021-present. Legal action will be taken if saintlyhyuck’s work has been taken without consent. Do not plagiarise.

[pinkczennie]

The Other Brother

Pairing: Taeyong x You (feat. Jaehyun)

Genre: fiancé’s younger brother au, runaway bride, mutual pining (they just don’t know it yet), hate to love, angst, romance, smut

Warnings: rough smut, choking, mc is two years older

Word Count: 15.8k

Summary: Your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life, but mere hours before the ceremony, you get cold feet and seek shelter with your fiancé's younger brother - the last place on earth where you want to be as you have never gotten along. But as the time of your wedding draws closer, you start to think that you might have ended up with the wrong brother after all.

Six hours before the wedding

You and Taeyong have known each other for ten long years, starting from when you were seventeen and he fifteen. And for every single one of those years, you’ve ignored, offended, argued, mocked and generally rubbed each other up the wrong way. 

When you thought about your fiancé’s younger brother, you remembered how he threw sand on your food, called you a crybaby, shoved you into the pool, kicked a ball at you, hid bugs under your pillow, and many more worse things. 

Yes… Jaehyun’s younger brother was the total opposite of him. 

Where your fiancé was warm, kind and good-hearted, Taeyong was cruel, mean and ruthless - but not only to you. He hated everyone and everything, and it seemed the entire world hated him too. Though only you, he appeared to despise more than anyone else, and you had never quite understood why, having given up approaching him a long time ago. 

Throughout all those years, you had never been able to form a bond. Yet, he was the only person you considered calling when you ran away from your own wedding.

“Ca- can you please come pick me up?”

Your phone was shaking in your hand as you pressed it closer to your ear, barely being able to hear him at the other line due to the loud noise the rain made as it mercilessly pattered onto the asphalt. It was already soaking through your hair and bright white gown, not only wetting, but also dirtying the garment in which you were supposed to walk down the aisle in a few hours.

This downpour was the forerunner of autumn, and the next season was approaching early this year. The sudden drop in temperature made you shiver, but you hadn’t been able to grab a jacket before running out of the venue. Since it was still early in the morning, you had been all alone while trying on the gown and waiting for the others - the possible worst mistake you could have made on the day of your wedding. Suddenly, panic had taken over you and you felt like you couldn’t breathe anymore.

Taeyong didn’t ask questions over the phone, he only wanted to know, “Where are you now?”

“At-... at the wedding venue…”

“I’ll be there.”

You were waiting under a tree in the driveway, silently praying that none of the employees you had hired for your big day would start their shift so early except for the ones who had opened the venue for you. To them, you had said you needed some fresh air and dismissed all questions about why you ran out into the pouring rain in your wedding gown and with no umbrella for protection.

Tires squealed when a black car came to a halt in front of you. Either he had been incredibly fast or you had been too swept up in your thoughts while waiting. Nonetheless, you ruffled the long tulle skirt around your waist and sprinted through the rain right to the vehicle where the door already opened for you from the inside, collecting the meters and meters of fabric until every inch of the pompous dress fitted with you on the seat.

As soon as the door fell closed, you felt like a huge burden had been lifted off your shoulders, like you had finally gotten rid of a pesky chaser. But today was your wedding day, and no one was supposed to feel like this on their own wedding day.

“Thank you.”

“Where to?” Taeyong asked, the car already moving. 

He was not dressed according to his duty today as the best man, but casually as though he had quickly thrown some clothes together before driving here. He was a night owl, partying very often and very hard, and you only now noticed that at this time of the day, he probably only came home from a club. Or threw out a woman.

“Just… away, please.”

“There is a jacket in the backseat. Take it.”

“Thank you.” 

You turned around and reached for the leather jacket that was sprawled out behind the driver’s seat. At first, you were reluctant in case it was from one of his flings who had forgotten it here, but as you put it on, it hung way too loose around your upper body, indicating that this really was Taeyong’s after all. 

You shivered a bit less with the jacket on and your heart felt lighter as well the further you drove away from the venue, the view onto the building already blurred by the rain in the rear mirror. Good, just far away from it, anywhere was fine. You hadn’t chosen this venue yourself anyway, just like the dress. Everything was so big, too much, too pretentious. You hadn’t wanted this all.

The gown’s fabric felt wet and heavy in your hands and you tried to place it in a way that would make it easier for you to sit while Taeyong was driving silently, not uttering a word, not even throwing side glances at you. If it were Jaehyun sitting next to you, he would have already bombarded you with questions as to why you had run away from the venue at such short notice. 

But Taeyong didn’t inquire about anything. That was the reason why you had called for him in the first place and not for anyone else. You had never had some kind of relationship. He would not bother you, he would not try to sympathize with your situation.

Time passed, having enveloped you in silence until the car came to a halt right in front of a place you had only been to once when you had lost your keys and Jaehyun was out of town. Even back then, you had only spoken the bare minimum to each other as he had thrown the keys out of his window with you catching it on the street.

“I figured the last place anyone would ever search for you was at mine.”

He was right. Nobody would search for a runaway bride at the groom’s younger brother’s home she had never formed a bond with. 

The rainfall hadn’t stopped, and you found it ironic that after weeks of pure sunshine, it rained only on this day like it was some kind of bad omen. You left the car after Taeyong, the long tulle skirt more of a hindrance than you had expected, but he was by your side within seconds and held the door open so that you could get out without stumbling. 

With hurried steps, you then followed him inside the building, the smell of mold and old furniture instantly meeting your nose. Taeyong didn’t live in a modern penthouse like you and Jaehyun, but in a single apartment at the other side of the city where you would usually never step foot in. Yet, it was the most secure place for you right now.

Reaching the third floor by foot, your wedding gown now felt as heavy as though the fabric was made of bricks. You stood awkwardly by the door after entering while Taeyong walked further into his flat without waiting for you.

“You coming?” He asked, turning his head back to you, his gaze lazy. “What are you waiting for?”

The tips of his platinum blonde dyed hair were wet as well from helping you out of the car, and he already had a towel around his shoulders where the small droplets fell on. You had always been fascinated by this unconventional color and his courage to just go through with it. Only now, you admitted to yourself that he pulled it off quite well.

You set one foot after another, slipping out of your sneakers that you then neatly placed next to the door. Despite this place not being yours and having other rules or no rules at all, you stuck to your routines before following Taeyong into the living room. 

“Wait here,” he said and disappeared into the room behind the living room which you assumed was where he slept before coming out a minute later with a staple of clothes and a towel in his hands. “Here. I figured you would want to take a shower and change your clothes.”

He was right. “Thank you. And I’m sorry about ruining your leather jacket.”

“Don’t worry about that. The bathroom is over there.”

You took the new clothings and the towel into your arms and went to where he was pointing his finger at. Surprisingly, it was the cleanest bathroom you had ever been in, even challenging yours. You hadn’t pegged Taeyong to be the neat type like you. But then again, you didn’t know him at all, so you had no right to be taken aback when you were so judgemental.

You first took off Taeyong’s leather jacket and started shivering all over again. It smelled like Taeyong himself - of lemongrass and ginger. Very manly, very significant. You knew because his car had also smelled of that and he left a faint scent wherever he went for years.

“You need help?” Taeyong asked, peeking into the bathroom as you hadn’t closed the door yet.

“Can you help me unzip the gown, please?”

“Sure.”

You didn’t know how you had gotten into it yourself, but taking off a dress was sometimes much harder than getting into one, especially as this one was a custom. You had never quite liked the heart neckline without straps, how tight the corset hugged around your cleavage and the meters of tulle that spread out like a cupcake from your waist downwards. It was excessive and flamboyant. It just wasn’t you.

You turned your back to Taeyong, and his fingers felt warm against your skin when he took the zip into his hand and pulled it all down.

“Thank you.”

“It doesn’t suit you anyway,” he deadpanned on his way out. 

“... what?”

“The dress.”

“I don’t need an insult now, Taeyong,” you sighed. “It’s not the time.”

“It was not an insult,” he cleared up monotonously. “I was just indicating that a more classic wedding dress would have suited you much better.”

A classic wedding dress, hm. A dress made of rich silk in the color of ivory that hugged you at the right parts and flowed down in an a-line. That was what you had dreamed of as well. But Jaehyun and your families had always pictured something else for you.

“I think so too,” you admitted before you closed the door behind you.

____

Five hours before the wedding

You stepped out of the bathroom in a pair of gray sweats that hung loose around your waist and a white t-shirt that was way too big for you too as they all belonged to Taeyong. But at least you had been able to get rid of that dress you hated so much. 

You still dried your wet hair with a towel, smelling of lemongrass and ginger yourself now as you had used Taeyong’s shower gel. He was sitting in the kitchen preparing some rice and side dishes as you walked in.

“I don’t own a hair dryer, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine without one. What are you doing?”

“Breakfast. I don’t know whether you’ve eaten yet or if you’re hungry at all. But I am… and just in case you’re too… I’m trying my best with what I already have.”

Breakfast consisted of leftover rice, fried eggs and some pickled tomatoes, but you were still grateful for him to stand in the kitchen and make all these despite not having expected guests.

“Thank you.”

“Please stop thanking me,” Taeyong urged when he placed the rice on two different bowls and brought them over to the table. Then, the eggs and tomatoes on other ones. “I lost count on how many times you thanked me already within the past hour. More than in all those years combined.”

“You’ve never given me any reason to thank you in the first place.”

He glared at you.

“I’m sorry, that was inappropriate,” you apologized sincerely. “I should be grateful for your hospitality.”

He simply ignored it. “Eat up before it gets cold.”

You took a seat opposite of him and put some eggs and tomatoes on your rice. It was a simple dish, but only now you realized how hungry you actually were since you hadn’t been able to eat anything since last evening - out of excitement. Or fear. You weren’t quite able to distinguish these two yet.

Suddenly, Taeyong’s phone started vibrating. But instead of looking at it, he looked at you while chewing. “Where is your phone?”

Your eyes widened, and in reflex, you touched the pockets of your joggers. “I assume I lost it while running to your car, or in this thick dress, I don’t know. My family must already be at the venue for the preparations though, and I’m supposed to be there too by now. They must be worried.”

Taeyong’s eyes darted to his phone, then back to you. “It's your mother. I should buy you some time to figure out what to do next.”

“But why is she calling you?”

“I suppose she called everyone else already.”

Until now, the damage that you had done hadn’t dawned on you yet. But for your mother to call Taeyong, she must be worried sick. 

“You want to talk to her yourself?”

“No. I still need to collect… my thoughts.”

“Okay.” Taeyong picked up his phone and greeted your mother. “I also don’t know where she is, I’m sorry… Perhaps, she’s gone to the tailor to get something on her dress fixed… Yes I will call when I know. Bye.”

Now, you were the one who glared at him, chewing angrily. “That’s the best you could come up with? Doesn’t sound so plausible or something that could take hours.”

“You should thank me in case you decide to show back up there. We can go anytime you want and nobody needs to know about your… temporary breakout.”

“It’s not temporary. I won’t be showing up at all,” you confessed reluctantly and placed the fork back on the top of the bowl after only a few bites, suddenly not feeling hungry at all anymore. The following words took you much overcoming. “I’m just collecting my thoughts to put them into the right words and tell him, them all. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing again?” He carried on with eating as though you hadn’t just dropped a bombshell.

“Because I’m blowing up a wedding that’s been the highlight for so many people. The guests, the money, the-”

“Screw the money, it will all come back,” Taeyong interrupted. “And screw the people. It’s not their wedding, it doesn’t matter what anyone else feels. It’s your decision alone.” Taeyong’s voice was calm and he put another bite of side dishes on his rice, appearing totally unfazed even though it clearly involved his brother. It was his wedding too.

You didn’t dare to dig deeper, to question what he exactly meant with that, why he was so supportive and didn’t talk you out of it, dragging you down the aisle himself if he must. Did he think he dodged a bullet and was secretly happy to finally get rid of you? Then why had he driven you all the way here and didn’t kick you out into the pouring rain again?

The rest of the breakfast was taken in silence and you volunteered to do the dishes. You didn’t leave it at that though and proceeded to not only clean the table, but also the tiles around the stove, although everything was already very spic and span. You just needed something to do until you knew how to proceed with the day. By the time you were done, your hair was also dry.

“You know you’re a guest and not my cleaning lady, right? Besides, it’s already very clean here,” Taeyong dropped in passing, peeking into the kitchen.

“It helps me get occupied and think about what to do next.”

“Don’t forget the refrigerator if you’re already at it, I never come around to do it myself.”

You stuck out your tongue, but couldn’t help it and bit down a chuckle.

____

Four hours before the wedding

With wrinkled fingers, you stepped into the living room where Taeyong was seated on the couch, watching TV. Your dress had found its way from the bathroom to a hanger by the door, a bit cleaner, but not less wet than before. Taeyong must have brought it out while you were occupied in the kitchen.

“I assumed you would want to store it and let it dry until then.” He looked up to you. “That is… if you still want to keep it.” His look was wary, but full of expectation. 

“I want to burn it.” Taeyong, who had always been the reckless and the most unratable person you knew, was now the one getting startled. “I don’t want to wear it ever again. I don’t even want to look at it.”

He hesitated. “I’ll put it away, okay?”

Taeyong stood up and took the dress with the hanger from the door. He brought it over to his bedroom so that it was out of your sight. At the very same moment, his cell phone began to ring. Your mother again, as you saw on the display. Of course, the time of the ceremony was drawing closer and there was no sight of the bride herself.

“What should I say this time?” Taeyong wanted to know from you upon his return.

“That the wedding today won’t happen.”

While you were in the kitchen, you had had enough time to think this all through. Your wedding day was supposed to be the happiest day of your life, not the most miserable one. There were no right words to tell your mother that you weren’t getting married anymore though, so you should just go with it by heart. You agreed on Taeyong inventing something until you got your phone back and were able to call your mother.

“I also don’t know where she is now anymore, I just heard from a friend… No, I don’t remember which one,” were the words you heard Taeyong speak in the bedroom while you sat on the couch, staring at the TV that was still running, but not quite absorbing the flickering pictures. “I’m supposed to meet with Jaehyun in an hour at the venue. I’ll be there soon, then we can talk.”

When Taeyong returned, he was already fully dressed with his shoes on and then reached for the leather jacket that you had worn shortly before. The keys were dangling in his fingers. “I will look for your phone at the spot where I picked you up. And they haven’t told my brother yet that you’re still not there, so I have to hurry before they break it down to him in the most insensitive way possible.”

Brother… Of course. How could you have been so ignorant and made it all about you? Jaehyun was Taeyong’s brother. The sole fact that you were here and seeking shelter probably already put him into a conflict of interest. Now, you even demanded him to do the dirty job for you. He should stay with his brother, supporting him throughout this hard time. Instead, you had forced yourself onto him, the one responsible for this entire turmoil.

“I… I am the one who isn’t supposed to be here,” you murmured more to yourself than to him. “I shouldn’t have dragged you into this… I was so selfish. I should go back and explain it to everyone, I should just… I should… I’ll fix this myself now.”

Like in a trance, you put your feet from the couch back on the ground, preparing yourself to leave, but Taeyong held you back by your shoulder. His hand dropped down to your arm until they found your cold palm, his fingers enclosing around yours in a reassuring gesture.

“Do you feel like going there?” His gaze was impenetrable, a great contrast to his comforting touch. Both possible responses could be right and wrong. “Answer me honestly, do you feel like seeing my brother? And I’m not referring to today. Do you feel like spending your life my brother… at all?”

“No.”

This answer came quickly and honestly, and Taeyong decided to act on it before you could change your mind. He arose, but this time it was you who held him back by his hand, scared to let go of him. Your expression showed desperation, and a bit of hope. You didn’t want him to go. You didn’t want to be alone right now.

And as though he was able to read your thoughts, he said, in the most tender tone you had ever witnessed him use with his thumb gently brushing over the back of your hand, “I’ll be back shortly, I promise.”

____

Three hours before the wedding

Taeyong’s lifestyle was entirely different from yours, the life you lived with Jaehyun. You were minimalistic, modern and followed an industrial interior design. Taeyong’s was a chaotic mess, he didn’t follow any style at all. 

While his kitchen was kept unoccupied and clean just like his bathroom where you had even noticed every etiquette of a bottle facing in the same direction, his living room was blocked with cabinets, shelves and even showcases where he displayed a collection of shoes and different figurines, some you recognized as animes as well as lego from different series and franchises. 

Also in the living room, next to the big TV, he had set up his gaming corner with three different screens. On the other side, something you oddly only noticed now, he kept fishes in a big tank. You hadn’t been aware that he was taking care of animals - a trait you had always been assured of said a lot about people: that they treated others with respect, that they were caring and endearing. Basically everything you hadn’t pegged Taeyong to be.

Since you were already on your feet, you made your way to the bedroom. You assumed that since you’ve seen everything else, he wouldn’t mind that as well with your wedding dress hanging in there anyway. In contrast to his living room though, his bedroom was free of most nick nacks. The bed was huge and unmade, but the many blankets and pillows looked very inviting. There were dumb bells on a yoga mat next to the window and aside from that, a huge closet that spread across the wall, with tids and bits of fabric peeking through the doors that seemed to barely close anymore.

You sat down on the bed, the mattress giving in under you. On the nightstand, there was a small lamp and a book. Upon closer inspection and picking it up, you recognized it was a book to learn English, and it had sat upon a pack of condoms that was already opened.

You rolled your eyes and wondered if, shortly before he had made his way to you, a woman was lying in here, hoping for a lazy morning but got thrown out. You put the book back on the package and flopped onto the bed. While staring at the ceiling, you listened to the rain still pattering against the window. Today had been a bad day to get married outside anyway.

As you laid there and slowly drifted off to sleep, you wondered when you had stopped imagining a life with Jaehyun.

____

Two hours before the wedding

“Jaehyun is a fool, what’s new.”

You started from your sleep, suppressing a gasp at the last minute. The bedroom’s door was only slightly ajar when you sat up, but you clearly heard people coming into the apartment and only counted yourself lucky to not be in their view right now.

One voice belonged to Taeyong. The other, clearly to his father.

“Don’t talk about your brother like this,” the elderly man chided. “Jaehyun is still keeping his hopes up, you should support him. Lately, she does these kinds of things, he told me. Like going clubbing with her friends and coming home only early in the morning. He had to talk her out of it as she’s a grown woman already. She even considered requesting a sabbatical at work and traveling the world. Jaehyun had to tell her to keep her stable job during such times. Also, she wanted to pick new furniture for their home, but he had to prohibit her that as they just recently moved in. In the end, Jaehyun knows her better. He’s positive she will still show up. Eventually, she always comes to her senses, that’s what he told me. She always does.”

This entire conversation made you so angry, your blood was boiling. You had never looked at it from this perspective. Eventually, you would come to your senses? Perhaps, that was the problem. You shouldn’t come to your senses in the first place. You had thought you would do Jaehyun a favor by listening to him, but when have you ever done yourself a favor?

“Why did he insist on you coming with me then?” They had already reached the living room as Taeyong asked this. 

“He thinks she might be coming over here at some point if not to the venue first, so he remained there and wanted me to wait here.”

“Why would she come over to my place?” Taeyong’s voice oozed with suspicion. “And even if, I could bring her too, there was no need for you to follow me here.” Your heart pounded against your chest so hard, you feared they would hear it. 

“Jaehyun said that it’s because when she gets cold feet, she will flee to the one person who won’t judge her, but not to her best friend as everyone would suspect her being there. I’m here to make sure to talk to her in a way that you won’t be able to.”

Taeyong snorted. “As you implied, we never had any kind of relationship, she would never seek shelter with me in the first place.” He was kind of a good liar, you had to admit.

“You might not have some sort of relationship,” his father explained calmly, “but you have some kind of mutual understanding going on between you two. You laugh at the same things, you brood over the same things, you argue over the same things. So Jaehyun was afraid you might hold her back and support her decision to cancel the wedding.”

“We barely even speak. Why would he feel that way?” Taeyong responded with much confusion, and you felt the same. 

“This, he never told me directly, but I can see too.”

“I have no right to judge her decision and you don’t have one either. If she wants to cancel the wedding, then she has every right to do so.”

“See? That was why I was supposed to come here. In the end, Jaehyun knows better.”

Silence.

“Excuse me for a bit, I’ll go get changed into dry clothes, okay?”

You slid from the bed and hid by the corner in the opposite direction of where he would enter. Taeyong spotted you right away and closed the door behind him. He put his index finger to his lips, gesturing you to stay silent and pulled something out of the pocket of his jeans. It was your phone.

You knew what you had to do. You had to call Jaehyun and tell him that there wouldn’t be a ceremony at this point, that he shouldn’t hold his hopes up anymore. This much, you owed him and everyone that was supposed to join the wedding today. But it was just so hard.

Tears burnt behind your eyes. Always, Jaehyun took care of the complicated things in your life such as doing taxes or asking for a refund. When it came down to these kinds of situations, you weren’t the strong, independent women you wanted to turn into anymore. You needed somebody’s help.

Taeyong withdrew the phone upon encountering your exasperated expression and went over to his closet where he pulled out some clothes to change into. You didn’t know why you hadn’t noticed before, but in the closet, next to your wedding dress, hung his suit that he was supposed to wear as a best man. But he didn’t touch that. 

Instead, Taeyong pulled his wide hoodie over his head along with the t-shirt that he wore underneath and revealed his muscular back to you upon changing. His muscles tensed and strained as he reached for a new shirt and dragged it over his torso. In only these few seconds, you had spotted a few tattoos you had never seen before. When had he gotten them and what were their meaning? You were curious and fascinated by a man who you had known for so long and still not at all.

When Taeyong turned around to you, he had typed an entire message into your phone and held it in front of you.

“I can’t marry you. I’m sorry.”

Short and painful. Just how you felt in reality. You nodded, and he sent the message. 

____

One hour before the wedding

Taeyong’s father left after only five more minutes. Jaehyun had called him, and judging by the way Taeyong now spoke heatedly into his phone as well, you assumed that the news about the bride canceling the wedding over a text had already reached all attendees while your own phone was turned off with everyone now supposing you were at your best friend’s house who luckily covered for you.

You knew Jaehyun deserved better as well as everyone involved. But you just weren’t there yet. When it came down to conflicts, you were never the confronting type and always let others fight these battles for you. Just like Taeyong at this moment. And he did it willingly and with much passion, you just didn’t know why. The Taeyong who ignored you, made snarky remarks and only turned his attention to you when there was something to laugh about or mock you with wouldn’t do all that. 

“Alright, alright. Yeah, I will call you should I receive news. Bye.” Drawing out a long breath, Taeyong flopped on the couch next to you. He was exhausted, his mouth dry from all the talking he had done in the past hour. 

You almost didn’t dare ask. “And…?”

“It’s all canceled.” He sounded annoyed. “They already dismantled the setting outside and sent everyone home.”

You hadn’t meant that. “I meant…”

“How Jaehyun is?” Taeyong almost snapped, and you flinched at his sudden change in demeanor. “I haven’t spoken to him. But you know my brother as well as me. He tries to keep his composure and help wherever he can, no matter how hard it’s been on him. That’s how he is, my brother, the golden child. Even not letting his feelings slip when he’s hurt to the core.”

He was mad, and despite him trying to keep his composure, you couldn’t hold it against him. He had every right to be angry at what you had done to his family and partially dragged him into it.

“I know I owe him an apology and an explanation,” you admitted.

He briefly added, “More than that.”

“What am I supposed to say to him? I don’t know yet. All I knew the moment I left the venue was that I didn’t want to get married to him and that it was the most painful and most selfish thing I have done.”

“What about the entire truth?”

“The entire truth reaches deeper than not wanting to get married today.” You fell back into silence, shifting awkwardly in your seating position. But you didn’t need to speak further. Again, Taeyong seemed to sense what was exactly going on inside of you.

“Ah,” he then declared with feigned festivity. “There it is. The girl who was practically forced into a relationship with the first nice guy she met and slowly discovers that there is more to the world than marrying your high school boyfriend and living a modest life in the suburbs, getting married and having kids.”

“There is no reason to be so nasty about it,” you hissed. 

“I bet you haven’t had sex in a year, am I right?” he continued mercilessly, and your stomach churned, making you suddenly feel so sick. “Or at least not in the way you want to. Always, you have only liked it reserved, in the conventional positions. I bet you haven’t tried it out from behind or with a grip around your neck. You don’t dare to speak it out to anyone, but that’s what you desire deep inside.”

How could you have possibly thought that coming here was a good idea? That for once, Taeyong was able to behave like a decent human being. He was as cruel and vile as ever.

His face then fell upon realizing the damage he had caused with his words. “Hey, I-”

But you were already out of the door, stomping down the stairs and back into the pouring rain. The wet droplets felt sharp in your face, like cold whips that also slung around your arms. You tried to protect your head from the rainfall with your hands that you spanned over your brows, but it had little to no effect.

You didn’t know for how long you had been walking when a black car halted next to you. By now, you were freezing, but you kept walking while he rolled down the window and matched the vehicle’s speed to your steps.

“Hey.”

Taeyong kept following you with the car, you walking on the pavement, him driving on the street next to you.

“Please stop.”

“No. You’re an asshole, Lee Taeyong.”

“I know,” he agreed. “But please get in the car. You’re catching a cold.”

You stilled, rain mercilessly coming down on you as though taking a second shower.

“Please…” he begged.

Muted, you turned over and opened the door. Just like mere hours before, you found yourself sitting in the passenger’s seat, soaked from head to toe, but this time not in your wedding gown anymore. After you had settled yourself, Taeyong didn’t restart the car though. You both kept staring at the window in front of you, barely seeing anything through the curtain of rain, but only listening to the sound of it.

After a while, Taeyong opened his mouth. “A year ago, my girlfriend left me.”

The confession took you by surprise. “I didn’t know you were in a relationship…”

“How would you? We barely know anything about each other’s life. I bet my brother also wouldn’t drop this news as he knew you wouldn’t be interested in hearing them.” His grip was still tight around the steering wheel, the knuckles of his fingers turning white, that was how tense he was. “But I was very much in love. I had even imagined myself marrying her. Can you imagine that? Me and marrying?”

Almost unnoticeably, you shook your head. “You were always… so free, independant, uncommitted. My total…”

“... opposite,” he ended your sentence. “Exactly. Yet, I met a girl that I loved so much, I imagined myself as a husband. But before I got the chance to propose, she broke it off with me.”

“... Why?”

“Because I wasn’t what she wanted. In the long run, it wouldn’t have worked out anyway, I realized. She only did what was best for us, even though it was painful and selfish at that moment, and I hated her very much for it. You can almost say a year ago, I was Jaehyun.”

“I put you in a conflict of interest, I know.” You dropped your head. “You can tell me to go, and I will go right now. I imposed myself on you like that. You have every right to send me away. I won’t be mad.”

“Don’t even think about it. Love makes you do crazy things. Sometimes, you have to do things that seem wrong from the outside but you know are right. I went through it already, I know both sides, that’s why I truly understand your feelings and empathize with them.”

“I still don’t understand why you’re with me and not Jaehyun if you were in his shoes back then. Basically, I’m like your ex now.”

“Because I know Jaehyun will be okay eventually. He always has everything under control.” The corner of his lip curled up, adding sorrow to his mien. “But do you?”

You had no answer to that. You knew it was the right decision, but continuing with your life all by yourself from now on was something you hadn’t put too much thought into. For ten years, you had someone by your side. How would it be now?

Taeyong continued nearly seamlessly, “I should have faced you with more understanding as I was already in such a situation, I’m honestly sorry for going off like that before. It just… reopened old sores.” 

Taeyong apologizing to you was something you had never expected to witness in this lifetime. “Thank you for telling me.”

“You thanking me again.” You looked at each other, and there was a smile displayed on his lips that was almost light-hearted this time. “That’s probably something that will never change about you.”

“Do you think I’m a goody two shoes?” You didn’t know what made you want to hear his opinion, but for the first time since you had known each other, you were having a decent, serious conversation. “Please be honest.”

“Are you kidding? Of course you are!” He laughed, and it was so high-pitched, it sounded like the windshields in the rain. You almost chuckled too. “That was why you matched so well with my brother as he is one too. You both have dreamed of the same things… marriage, a family, a house in the suburbs… children. But apparently, you’re not satisfied with all that anymore.”

You leaned back in your seat, slowly relaxing. “Was that also the case for you and your ex?”

“She wanted everything you wanted in the past. I’m not any of that. But with the past year, I figured that marriage has nothing to do with pursuing the same goals, you know.” He tried to provide you with another perspective on things. “If you love someone, you marry them. It takes nothing more. You only have to be sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, no matter what is about to come. The rest will fall into place, you have to have faith.”

“And she didn’t feel the same way about you. Just like I don’t feel the same way about Jaehyun.” The scales fell from your eyes. “It has nothing to do with wanting different things in life. I just don’t want a life with Jaehyun anymore.”

“See. Don’t worry about what our father said. It’s okay if you want to try yourself out, venturing into different things. Nobody should hold you back on that. If you meet a person who’s willing to go through all of that with you, then you have nothing to worry about.”

A few silent beats passed before you directed a question at him out of curiosity. “What is it that you want in your life, Taeyong?”

“If only I would know, hm?” When had you ever encountered him being so blunt, so raw and so earnest? “Perhaps, I want to change jobs. Perhaps, I want to join a band. Perhaps, I want to travel to Italy. Perhaps, I want to work at a pet shop, because I love animals so much. I just don’t know.”

This time, it was you who laughed and he joined with that high-pitched tone again. You couldn’t imagine Taeyong working in a pet shop, cleaning hamster cages and playing with dogs. On the other hand, when you imagined a grumpy Taeyong surrounded by playful kittens who were crawling all over him, you had a vivid picture in your mind that brought a heartfelt smile forward within you.

“What about you?” he directed the question back.

“Me?” You pondered over it for a while as you had never been asked this. “I don’t know. I seriously don’t know. I only know that I don’t want to continue living this life anymore. I feel like… I’m in a cage, and if I imagine that every day I have to live like this, it’s suffocating me.”

“It’s okay to not have your whole life mapped out anymore, to not know what you want, what the next day will bring. Nobody expects it from you. Just take one day at a time, baby steps.”

“Jaehyun does. And my parents as well as yours.”

“Then you have to start living your life for yourself, not for others.”

Taeyong then started the car, and for the first time you got the impression that the rain was slowly simmering out and it got brighter outside. Your heart didn’t feel as heavy anymore.

“At home, you’re gonna change clothes again. And then we’re going to order food.”

“Wait… please drop me off at my… home first.” Taeyong didn’t let it slip, but from the corner of your eyes, you witnessed his brow raise. “I learned many things from our conversation. Among all things, the most important lesson was to be honest, to yourself and to others. I need to meet Jaehyun.”

“I second that.”

“Perhaps, this one is going to be more painful than what I did this morning.”

Taeyong swerved the curve and dropped nearly absent-mindedly, “I think canceling the wedding was not only the most painful and selfish thing that you have done. I also think it was the most courageous and liberating thing that you have done. Just like this one will be. Think about it.”

You took it as the compliment it was.

_____

Time of the wedding

“You want me to come with you?”

You shook your head. “I already am indebted to you so much for letting me stay a few more days. I’m just gonna pick up a few clothes and wait. I already wrote to him.”

“Alright. I’ll wait in the car.” You had your fingers closed around the handle already. “And please quickly change clothes, you’ll catch a cold.”

“I will.”

It was odd coming back to your own home when you knew your entire life was about to change as opposed to this morning when you had left and still believed you would come back as a married woman. Now, you didn’t even know who you were and where your home was. But it was certainly not here, you sensed it clearly.

Everything felt foreign and off, and as you let your eyes wander over the cream colored furniture and the walls in the same boring colors, you knew exactly why this didn’t feel like your home anymore. It was and had always been Jaehyun’s home solely.

Jaehyun had picked the district, the apartment, the colors, the furniture. Everything was so clean and neat, almost sterile, there were no personal touches to the interior, the only picture being one of you two set on a small dresser with a few candles and books of yours that you had been allowed to display, everything else was designer, getting taken care of by a cleaning lady that came twice a week. 

You wished back the chaotic cleanliness of Taeyong’s home, the noises of the aquarium, the different furniture, colors and patterns thrown together, and where every corner had his personal handwriting all over it. As well as the faint scent of lemongrass and ginger lingering in the air.

Suddenly, it felt like the monotonous cream colored walls were slowly drawing closer to you, leaving you little to no time until they would crush you entirely. Despite the minimalist style, you felt the invisible narrowness of the atmosphere, and if you didn’t hurry up, it would swallow you whole. But you had to remain here to cleanly put an end to your ten year long relationship.

You fled into the bedroom that was a bit more playful with light blue walls where you shook off Taeyong’s clothes and slipped into your own ones, a pair of leggings and a tight top over which you threw an oversized cardigan. In a mid-sized backpack, you stuffed in a few shirts, pants, underwear and your toiletries. You crammed Taeyong’s borrowed wet clothes into a plastic bag that you wanted to put into the backpack too, but dropped it immediately back on the bed when you heard the entry door open.

With your backpack over your shoulder, you slowly stepped back into the living room. Your heart was almost jumping out of your chest as you moved, but when Jaehyun rounded around the corner, his appearance set an end to the steady rhythm. The whole world went still, absorbing every motion, every sound except for the ones your voices were going to make.

Nobody prepared you for a breakup when you were the one to initiate it. There was no right way, there were only inappropriate ones, one of them including limiting the act to text messages only. If any of this hadn't happened, you would run into each other’s arms, hugging and probably even kissing. But now, you only stood in front of each other and stared at the other in silence.

Jaehyun was distressed and tired, but like always, he didn’t want to let it show. You knew him so well though, you looked right through his facade. “Where are you going?”

An eligible question that you didn’t want to answer in all honesty. “To my best friend’s house.”

“Okay.” He sucked in a rush of air. “You need anything else?”

You shook your head. “I got everything I need.”

This entire conversation was bizarre. Somehow, you had hoped for more, but somehow, you were thankful that there wasn’t more that he demanded from you. Perhaps, everything had already been said between you two. Perhaps, nothing had been said, but you both understood:

That you weren’t made and good for each other anymore. That you two deserved other people by your side and that you had only been together because it had been conventional and what your parents had expected from you. That it wouldn’t have worked out in the long run if you two had married despite all that.

“I’m sorry, Jaehyun.”

He smiled mildly, but probably only due to exhaustion. “Don’t be.”

As you had spoken those words out and listened to Jaehyun’s answer, you wondered if you actually were sorry. In fact, you didn’t feel anything at this moment.

“We both saw it coming, Jaehyun,” you tried to approach the situation. “We’ve been together since high school. We went to university and more school, and we didn’t have time to focus on dating anyone else. We stayed together because… we didn’t really see a reason why not. We were comfortable, we were happy enough. And things have been fine between us.”

He responded, “If you hadn’t canceled the wedding, if you had stood there today, saying ‘I do’, even with these sad eyes of yours, I would have accepted that with my entire heart. I would have gone on, pretending everything was okay as long as we could pretend to be happy as well. But I haven’t been for a long time already as well.” He paused, then confessed, “I’ve met someone else.”

“I see.” The words didn’t hurt you, and you didn’t hold it against him. Again, you felt nothing as he rested his gaze on your face, inspecting your reaction.

“I swear,” he defended himself, “that I never cheated on you. I dodged every conversation with her, I didn’t even look at her longer than I needed. I just… couldn’t do this to you. But just her presence…” He stopped speaking, but you felt what he felt.

Jaehyun was a reputable and respectful man. Of course he would have never cheated on you, you were always certain of that, even now. Whatever he had begun feeling for that woman, he was still keeping it locked inside of him, because he believed you two would work out. And partly also because he didn’t have the courage to end things once and for all. 

The worst thing was that sometimes, you were thinking that if you had met someone who you felt passionate about like him, you would have wanted to leave him earlier. You weren’t nearly as reputable and respectful as Jaehyun. 

“You were still in love with the seventeen year old girl from back then, but I’m not that girl anymore,” you slowly explained, almost too factual with no true emotions. “If you love someone, you marry them, and the rest will fall into place as long as you’re certain that you want to stay together for the rest of your lives. I couldn’t marry you today because I can’t imagine a life with you anymore.”

Jaehyun’s brow twitched and he opened his mouth as though he had so much to retort. But in the end, he gave it all up and said, “You can have this place. I’m just gonna stay at Taeyong’s in the meantime.”

You froze, but kept your composure. “I don’t want it. Your family bought it for us, so it should stay with you. And in all honesty… this place doesn’t feel like my home anymore anyway. Like I said, I’m gonna stay at my best friend’s until I find something for myself.”

Something seemed to bother him, but he didn’t let slip what exactly, and you were thankful he didn’t push the topic. “Okay, do as you wish.”

“I’ll let you know when I’ll come back to get all my belongings. Probably as soon as I’ve settled somewhere.”

Jaehyun nodded.

The straps of your backpack suddenly seemed to leave burn marks on your shoulders. You still felt the urge to continue with this conversation, and Jaehyun gave off the appearance of wanting to do the same, but you both seemingly withdrew as you didn’t know what you were supposed to add anymore.

Perhaps, you would someday have a long session where you poured out all your feelings. Perhaps, you would never talk to each other again. But this conversation ended here and now, at the exact time you were supposed to say “I do” to each other.

In the end, you only brought yourself to wish him well. “I… I hope it will work out for you.”

“I hope so for you as well.”

You raised a brow as his wording seemed off. You had never indicated that you were already meeting someone else. As always, he most likely only wanted to be polite.

As you walked down the hallway with heavy steps, away from the life possibly every woman could dream of, you still didn’t feel anything. No emotions, nothing. Was this the price you had to pay? Would you be numb to feeling anything ever again in your life?

____

Two hours after the wedding

“I’m gonna take a shower real quick as I didn’t have time this morning,” Taeyong announced. “When the delivery guy comes, can you open the door?”

“Sure thing.”

After Taeyong had disappeared in the bathroom, you remained on the couch, scrolling through your phone. It was blowing up, but you didn’t care as your best friend covered for you without asking a single question except for cocking a brow when you had admitted to her where you were currently residing.

“The brother you hate so much?” she had asked. “The one with the blonde hair, excessive taste in fashion, sexy piercings and godly tattoos?”

“Odd description. But yes, him.”

A long pause followed. Then, she giggled. “Keep me updated.” 

You weren’t sure what to make of this sentence. “Thank you for everything.”

“Sure thing! Your parents almost beat a path to my door, but I think I can still hold them back from coming over. Will I get the full story soon?”

“Of course.”

“Okay. And just between us… I think it was the right decision.”

You had then hung up on each other.

Another call from your mother followed, but you swiped this away as well, then decided to turn off your phone entirely. You wouldn’t need it anyway today and hoped that, except for your nagging family, everyone else would understand that you quite weren’t in a position to talk right now.

You heard the water running before turning your attention back to the TV. Shortly later, the food arrived by the door, and you thanked the delivery guy, tipped him, and brought the bag into the kitchen.

“Can we eat in front of the TV?” you yelled, waiting for an answer.

“I’d rather not to!” Taeyong yelled back from the bathroom.

You whispered to yourself while setting the table, “Okay, Mister super clean.”

“I heard that.”

Taeyong stood in front of you the next moment, only a pair of joggers hanging loosely around his waist and a towel draped around his shoulders to catch the droplets of his wet hair. You barely noticed your eyes gazing up and down his naked upper body, and by the time you did, Taeyong had noticed it too.

Before you could read his expression though, you swiftly turned around, hiding your flushed cheeks and brushing it off. “Get dressed, then we can eat.”

Luckily, he also pretended he hadn’t noticed. “Okay.” 

Dinner was eaten in silence after he came back dressed in a t-shirt, Taeyong purposely leaving you in peace after what had occured at your home. He supposedly assumed that you needed time to process your emotions. Except that there were still none.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about what happened back there,” Taeyong then stated after you had nearly finished. “I just want to know whether you’re okay. Are you?”

You chewed on your last bite and then swallowed it all down. “I am. Somehow, strangely, I truly am fine. But I just don’t know whether it’s the shock or whether the emotions haven’t really set in yet that I feel so… numb. I… don’t feel anything. That’s why I’m feeling fine.”

“You’re not feeling fine then,” Taeyong objected. 

“I think it’s better than breaking down crying.”

“If you feel like that, you can do it here too.”

Something so excruciating and raw, you had only done in private. But somehow, you didn’t fear doing it in front of Taeyong either.

“I was in a good relationship with a good man, who wanted to marry and have kids and do all the things you’re supposed to do. People will think I am crazy for ending this all.” You stared at the pattern painted on the bowl in front of you, free from all the rice you had just picked out one by one. “I was always happy enough.”

Taeyong didn’t comment on that. He sat quietly at your opposite and listened.

“Sometimes, I hoped I could have something more than just fine. Someone who made me feel like I hung the moon. But I sort of stopped believing that existed. And I figured why not marry a man like Jaehyun? It had never been on my mind that there could be more. There was a hole in my heart I thought I could fix with doing all the things I missed out on. But it just wouldn’t shrink, no matter what I did. I knew that, if I married Jaehyun, the hole would swallow me whole. And then, Jaehyun told me he met someone else.”

Taeyong’s eyes widened just when you lifted your head and looked at him. He hadn’t known either.

“And now I am certain that there is someone who will place the moon in the sky for me. If Jaehyun can find someone like that, then I can too. I’m certain there is someone out there who can make me feel exactly like that, and it will be the love I’ve been looking for and last for a lifetime.”

“Someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, no matter how different you are, and the rest will fall into place if you have faith,” Taeyong referred to his statement from earlier that day.

You smiled. “Someone of whom I will know that I want to marry right away and not get cold feet.”

Taeyong cleared his throat and arose from his seat. “I’ll do the dishes. After that, I will prepare the bed for you to sleep in. And I accept no objections. For the time you’re here, you will sleep in my bed.”

You knew back talking had little to no effect. “Okay,” you then gave in, quietly thanking him for his generosity. “I can change the sheets myself later too, don’t worry about that.”

____

Four hours after the wedding

The rest of the evening, you spent sitting on the couch, on opposite ends, barely speaking to each other but just vibing. You felt very comfortable.

Taeyong fed his fishes and you asked whether they had names. They had. He had named every single one of them and was able to distinguish between them despite them looking all the same for you. 

You asked about his figurine collection and his eyes suddenly started to sparkle. He went on about them and their backstory as well as the different legos and how long he had taken for each set.

You were astonished to find out that the pictures that hung on the walls had been painted by Taeyong himself. You hadn’t pegged him to be the artsy type, but again, he had surprised you.

There were still so many things about Taeyong you only discovered one by one. 

For example, he was very caring as he brought you a blanket when he noticed how you shivered long after the sun had set. He was also very attentive as he unpacked your bag and put your clothes in a drawer that he had emptied for you. Taeyong was also very funny, knowing or unknowingly, and immensely passionate about the things he loved.

You thought that, if you ever got the chance to be someone else or change your life in the future, you would like to be more like him.

____

Five hours after the wedding

“I can change the sheets myself, don’t worry about that,” you told Taeyong when you felt tired enough to go to bed. Today had been hard on you too, and you couldn’t wait for a new morning to come, the sooner the better.

Stepping into Taeyong’s bedroom made you confront your wedding dress again that still hung exactly where he had put it. When you looked at it, you just felt so much anger - more emotions than on any other point of today. How come that when you put an end to your relationship, you didn’t feel anything, but a gown was able to summon so much hatred?

Quickly slipping out of your clothes, you put the dress back on. It reminded you of how little you had had to say about the wedding. How everyone had chosen the venue, the cake, the decorations, the dress and even the makeup and hairdo for your special day. The dress reminded you of how much of a human doormat you had been at this occasion and that ending your engagement also freed you from the cage you had been kept in.

You suddenly felt powerful, like you could take on the entire world. And it had only little to do with the dress you hated so much.

“Could you find the-”

Taeyong walked in on you standing in the middle of his bedroom in the still soaked wedding dress that he had picked you up in.

“I’ll give you a moment.”

“Wait!” You held him back. “This dress… embodies everything I hate about my former life. I have to break up with it too. I will take the hatred and forge it into something I envy you for, Taeyong.”

He raised his brows. “Which is?”

“Passion.” You smiled. “Will you help me?”

“I’ll get the scissors.”

You stopped him. “I want to do it with my bare hands.”

He snickered. “That’s fine for me too.”

The sound of fabric rustling and tearing filled the room, each one of you picking up one end of the dress’ skirt that consisted of meters and meters of tulle and just tore it all apart, tore on every edge that your fingers could grip on. And there were so, so many, your skin felt bruised when you took another and started ripping that one apart too until the skirt was nothing more than loose slips of fabrics that hung from your waist.

____

Six hours after the wedding

You both laid on Taeyong’s bed, side by side and exhausted from having treated such rich fabric with your bare hands. But he had been sitting with you through all of it, handling the process with just as much fervor and dedication.

“What do you feel?” Taeyong then asked you, staring at the ceiling that was now dipped into the semi-darkness of the night. The rain had stopped entirely, the bright light of the crescent moon that came through the dissolving clouds rendering the need for artificial light almost needless.

The torn gown rustled as you repositioned yourself, letting your naked legs slip through the curtain of strips that had once been the tulle skirt. “Like all steam is let out and there is nothing left anymore. And I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of never being able to feel anything again except for this hate that surfaces every now and then.”

“When you’re alone, that’s when the emotions set in and when it will get really hard.”

“What am I supposed to feel then, Taeyong? Can you tell me as you experienced this before?” You got up and he followed your motions, you both now facing the other from a seating position, your knees almost touching.

Somehow, this moment was very intense for you, and also very raw. You hadn’t shared such a heart-to-heart with anyone in a long time, and the person you did it with again was, out of all people, your ex fiancé’s brother who you apparently had more of an understanding with than the person you had been engaged to. 

“Aside from hatred, perhaps sadness. Because despite you doing the right thing for yourself, you have let go of something that has once meant so much to you, so it’s okay to let yourself mourn for a while. But like I said, i-”

“I don’t feel sad,” you interrupted him, your voice on the brink of despair as you nearly cry-screamed “I just… don’t feel anything else except for hate! Why can’t I feel anything else?! I don’t want this, I don’t want to be full of hate, that’s not me! I need to feel something else! Make me feel something else! Taeyong, I-!”

The next thing you knew, you had a pair of lips pressed against yours and warm palms cupping your heated face. They were a very full and demanding pair of lips, a pair of lips that was not Jaehyun’s, but made your heart flutter in the same way your ex fiancé had once made, many years ago. 

And that was it with your thoughts about Jaehyun for tonight, you swore to yourself as you wrapped your hands around Taeyong’s neck and settled yourself on his lap without breaking the kiss between you two. You weren’t able to remember when someone had last kissed you like this, when you had even thought of getting kissed like this, so passionately and deeply, it felt like you were getting devoured with all your soul.

And finally, after hours of numbness and hatred, you felt something. It was entirely different from what you had expected to feel. Not sadness. It was hunger. And it wanted to be fed.

Taeyong pulled away from you, and despite the semi darkness, you clearly saw in his eyes that he felt exactly what you felt, and that you perhaps were not the only person in this room who was still looking for something or someone greater. 

“I’ll stop if you…”

His hands pressed into your sides, he didn’t ease his grip, but you knew he would do so in an instant when you told him to. But you didn’t. 

“Please…” You looked into his hopeful eyes. “Don’t stop…”

He didn’t need to be told that twice. Taeyong licked over his lips in a way that got you really wet between your legs and pulled you down to him to lock your lips with his again. 

You curled your fingers into the hem of his shirt and stripped it over his head in one swift motion. In the few moments that you were parted, you observed his tattoos in awe. You hadn’t really paid attention to them until now as you had never bothered with such details about him, but now you wanted to touch them all and know the backstory of each of them. But only later you would ask.

You sat up to give Taeyong access to his pants that he took off and then threw on the floor while you simultaneously got rid of your panties and dropped them next to his joggers. You also wanted to wiggle yourself out of your wedding dress with his help, but Taeyong stopped you with a look so sinister, it made you gulp and your mouth dry.

You didn’t need to ask what he wanted. He didn’t want you to take off the dress. If there was a best way to ruin a much hated wedding dress that you hadn’t even chosen yourself, then it was having sex in it with a person who wasn’t the groom.

And you were all on it for it as you straddled Taeyong, the ripped skirt of your dress draped all over the both of you. You rubbed yourself against him with your hands holding onto his shoulders while he placed tender kisses on the side of your neck, and you wondered how someone who was usually so mean to you could be so soft at the same time. Taeyong was still an enigma to you, but you wouldn’t mind taking it all apart tonight.

His full lips reached the raising of your breasts that were still hidden in the corset, but with several deft acts of his strong fingers, he had loosened the back so that he was now able to pull the neckline down. Throwing your head back, you let him lick over your nipples, wetting them with his tongue before he blew over them. It caused you to shudder, but before you were able to process what would happen next, he had already taken the sensitive spots into his mouth, sucking on them in turns and even occasionally biting into one, making you cry out loud.

“Such a pretty voice, why haven’t I heard it so determinedly more often?” Taeyong asked with his head buried in your cleavage.

You didn’t know the answer to that. But he probably also didn’t expect one as you realized the next moment that he had already eased two fingers into you. He was always taking you by surprise.

Your muscles in your thighs tensed, and you lifted yourself up a few inches as you thought you couldn’t take it anymore, that was how heavenly his fingers worked inside of you. You were dripping all over his hand, his palm stroking your clit and thus providing you with the double of stimulation that you had never experienced before.

“You wanna cum?” Taeyong whispered into your ear as you had your head rested on his shoulder, slightly biting into his flesh, and he endured it all.

You nodded, twisting and turning on his lap. “Y… yes, please.”

He made you cum with just the flick of a finger, and you screamed out loud, not only your entire body shaking, but also your whole world as your orgams ripped through you in an intensity you had never encountered before. And Taeyong gently held you in his arms all throughout it. Your chest heaved up and down like you had just run a marathon, and as you looked up, Taeyong swiped a few strands of your hair away from your face.

“You want to continue?” he asked you carefully.

You saw where he came from. He wouldn’t do anything without your consent. But there was nothing to ask for more permission here. You were here for all of it. Muted, you nodded again, too ashamed to speak out what was on your mind, what you really desired that wasn’t far from what Taeyong had thrown at your head only earlier that day. 

You had been so mad at him, because it was true. You wanted him to take you from behind, to have his beautiful, strong hands wrapped around your slim neck and make you cum over and over again.

“Tell me,” he then challenged you as though he knew exactly what occupied your mind. “What is it that you want?”

You gulped. If you spoke it out, then he would do it, no doubt about it. Why was it that you were hesitating still then? 

“Tell me,” Taeyong repeated, his index finger now lifting up your chin so that you could make eye contact. He saw what you felt, and he waited patiently.

“I… I want you to…” You paused. “... To do to me what you have teased about before.”

“Which is…?” He really enjoyed it too much. 

“I want you to… take me from behind. To have your hand around my neck and… make me cum again.”

Because Jaehyun had never done so, because you felt like you betrayed your past love if you did it with Taeyong now, that was why you were still holding back. But then again, you suddenly felt so desired, so free and so alive like never before. You felt heard, seen and appreciated in all aspects a woman could wish for it. Was it so wrong then?

“You’re sure?” Taeyong wanted to know.

“I am.”

He then turned aside to take something from his nightstand that you recognized as the pack of condoms you had seen before. He tore the wrapping off with his teeth and urged you to change your position so that he was able to roll it over his length.

You sucked in a rush of air as you then sank back onto his lap, taking him all in until he was all settled in your warmness. Only a few heartbeats passed before you started to ride him right away, you just couldn’t wait anymore. 

You slammed down on him, at first a bit messy as you couldn’t quite grasp the motions and only forcefully met with him in an attempt to act on your lust all at once, that was how overwhelming it was. But when Taeyong started to move with you, he determined the pace and movements, and rather than making you feel like you did something wrong, he quietly conveyed to you what would work better.

And by heavens, how better it worked. You rocked your hips with each other, and whenever you came down to him, you moaned silently as he hit spots within you you didn’t even know existed at all. You were holding onto Taeyong like a lifeline, moving with him and gyrating with him, and eventually you felt so close to cuming again.

First, you wanted to protest as you wanted to prolong this act and experience it from different positions, but there was nothing to protest against. You would let yourself cum, and if you wished for, this wouldn’t need to be the last time again either. 

“I’m going to-“ you whined against Taeyong’s shoulder, and his grip around you only tightened as you dug your nails into his back.

“Then cum. Cum as often as you want.”

And you did. You cried into the nape of his neck with your fingers buried deep into his arm muscles, and ended the wave of pleasure with a shudder that only Taeyong could set an end to.

But the worst part was that you still weren’t satisfied. You raised your head and faced him, begging him with your eyes. Taeyong didn’t need to be told twice. But before, you shared a kiss that you both initiated at the same time, deep and intimate, and that made you feel a connection you had missed out on all these years and set aflame only now.

You stared at each other with an expression that was a mix of surprise and also relief. Surprise because you hadn’t expected to feel something like that with this other person out of all people, and relief because you had finally found it after all.

Again, you kissed, to make sure, to validate what you had felt shortly before. This time, it was more passionate and romantic, and it made your heart flutter again, a feeling you had been missing out on for a long time despite believing you had found your soulmate already.

Taeyong then flipped the both of you around and placed you with your back onto the bed. Tugging on your dress and pushing the torn skirt apart, he let his fingertips run up your naked thighs, and you let out a low sigh, collecting new energy to prepare for what was about to come.

Bowing down to you, you then kissed again, and again. And truth to be told, you also wouldn’t have minded lying here all night, just kissing him. In the meantime, Taeyong had subtly slipped in between your legs, and you only noticed when he started to move again.

You were able to pay more attention to his face now. Taeyong didn’t look much like his older brother, but was definitely as equally attractive. His features were sharper though, making him come off as rude upon first glance with his additional piercings that adorned each ear if he didn’t smile, and he rarely did that, but they were also unique and attracted attention for how handsome it made him.

Jaehyun was the kind of man you looked at because he was so kind and conventionally handsome, you wanted to get to know him. Taeyong was the kind of man who should scare you off, but you also couldn’t tear your gaze from because of how extravagantly attractive he was. Especially now as he bit into his bottom lip, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He looked so angry and rude, it turned you on even more.

You had never looked closer at Taeyong because of that. But as his hands wrapped around your neck while he thrusted into you, you caught yourself thinking that you wished you would have spared the younger brother another, longer look ten years ago.

“Give me a sign if you need me to stop.”

Your eyes rolled to the ceiling as you started to run short on breath. You hadn’t expected yourself to like this kind of thing, but here you were, having Taeyong’s slender fingers around your neck, slightly choking you, and you found much pleasure in it. What else was there that you enjoyed but weren’t aware of yet? And was one night too short to discover it all?

You inhaled deeply and audibly when he then let go of you, and almost apologetically, he pecked your lips. He didn’t want to go further so as to not hurt you accidentally, you understood. You still had to figure out your boundaries, what you were able to take.

You let out a surprised “Oh!” the next moment when Taeyong slipped out of you and rolled you onto your stomach. A fresh breeze brushed over your naked bum when he flipped over your tulle skirt and it went flying all over your head so that you needed to dig a hole through the fabric to free your face.

Taeyong giggled, but when you wanted to chide him, he slapped your asscheek. It was loud and painful, and it brought you so much pleasure, you wanted him to do that again. And he did. His hand came down on your cheeks in alternation four times, each with a cry from your side louder than the one prior, before he sat you up on all fours and grabbed you by your hips.

You didn’t know what came first, his length sheathed back inside of you or your gasp of surprise as you realized what was about to happen. As you had never had sex in this position before, you had expected to feel disconnected and this act to turn rather animalistic, but Taeyong didn’t make you feel like that at all.

In a steady rhythm, you got pushed forward, his dick drawing out until you painfully thought you would lose him all, just to slam back into you the next moment so forcefully, it nearly knocked the air out of your lungs. And so it continued until you couldn’t hold yourself up on your hands anymore, but sank down on your elbows, offering Taeyong an angle that made it even more intense for you.

You were begging, crying and moaning all simultaneously, not knowing where up and down was anymore. In all those years, you had been satisfied with only what you had considered traditional sex. That there was something more that would take you to heaven and back, you had never imagined yourself to experience.

Now, that hunger from before was only growing, even when you came for the third time that day within the span of only half an hour, so hard and so earth shattering, you thought you would cry because of how you finally felt something else aside from hatred and hunger again: happiness.

You then laid on your stomach, collecting your breathing and your thoughts when Taeyong finished himself off inside you with a little help of rhythmic motions from your hips, and his low growl, with which he announced his peak, turned you horny once more.

And so you did it again. This time from the side. You then went down on him, followed by you doing it from a standing position. Afterwards, he pleasured you with his mouth too, and you finished him off riding it all out. You came again and again, until daybreak announced itself and you slept in, with your head resting on Taeyong’s chest and his arms wrapped around you.

Somewhere along the way, as the night processed, you had gotten rid of the wedding dress entirely. It hadn’t been all about hatred and vengeance anymore, but something way more than that that somehow blossomed between you two.

The next morning, the sun shone bright. There was no sign of rain anymore.

____

Eighteen hours after the wedding

Taeyong stood in the kitchen, frying eggs and wishing you a good morning when you walked in. But when he placed the plate with the scrambled eggs and toast in front of you, you weren’t feeling hungry anymore.

“I’m going to stay with my best friend,” you declared to him. “I gave it a thought, and I think it’s bet-”

“It’s okay,” he chimed in. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I saw it coming, I understand.”

Even though you didn’t regret last night, you knew that you couldn’t do it again yet and that it would certainly happen if you stayed. So you fled. The only thing you were good at.

“I’m a failure,” you admitted. “I’ve failed my relationship, my marriage… why would I even want to try again?”

“If you stay with someone for a certain amount of time and you were happy, but then decide that you don’t want to stay together anymore, why would that make you a failure? If you decide to move on and find happiness with someone or something else, why would anyone want to take this from you?”

“And if it won’t work out with the next person too?” you voiced your fears.

“Then this doesn’t mean you’re a failure either. That’s how life is. You don’t have to stay with one person for the rest of your life if you don’t feel like it. But if you do, if your feelings align and remain steady, what more can you ask of the world?”

A single tear escaped from the corner of your eye and you wiped it away quickly. “But your family hates me now.”

Taeyong shrugged. “Who cares. They’ll eventually come around.”

“I thought you hated me too.”

“I never hated you.” He smiled mildly. “If anything, I hated your attitude, always so honest, fair and good. Secretly, I always wanted to be more like you and Jaehyun. I’ve never been this kind of person, and it’s been clear from the beginning that I wouldn’t fit into this role. You were everything I couldn’t be, everything I couldn’t have.”

“And now?” You looked at him with an uncertain expression, your brows furrowed. “Now that I’m not any of that anymore, do you still want someone like me?”

Taeyong reached out his hand and touched your cheek. “Now, I admire you even more. It takes much courage to tear down your entire life and start anew.” 

“... Really?”

He nodded and you nudged against his palm, sharing his warmth. “I’m not going to be your rebound though. I think what we can build together can be something amazing, but you’re not ready.”

Only yesterday, you had run away from your own wedding and broken up with the man you had been with for the past ten years. You were far from ready. Last night had not only been eye-opening, but also shattering. Your whole world wouldn’t be like before, and you could only rebuild it bit by bit.

“Look for your own apartment, design it the way you want,” Taeyong suggested and withdrew his hand. “Then go out and meet people, date around and see what the world has to offer to you. You have ten years of catching up to do, don’t let a single minute pass.”

You gulped, withholding your tears in the same breath. “Okay.”

“And if you decide to explore what could be between us, if you decide you have seen everything and dated around enough, that, after all, I’m still the only one you want to be with eventually…” He smirked cockily. “... then I’ll be here.”

A life with Taeyong didn’t sound so daunting anymore. But with him came also his family, the family that had been with you before as well.

Quietly, you averted your eyes to the breakfast in front of you. “Last night was also one the bravest and most liberating things I’ve ever done. But-” You stopped.

Taeyong then took the words out of your mouth, “You cleanly ended your relationship before you slept with me. You don’t owe him anything anymore. The rest is between us brothers. Now eat up, then I’ll drive you to your friend.”

The breakfast had long gone cold before you were able to take a bite.

____

One month after the wedding 

You hadn’t been able to light a candle in the apartment, because Jaehyun didn’t like the smell of candles. Funny, how you thought of it now.

The movers carried the last box out of your former shared home with Jaehyun, and now you were facing him again for the first time since the day of your wedding. You had specifically told him a time of which you had thought you would be gone already, but now you had accidentally run into each other again still.

“Hi,” he greeted you.

“Hi,” you said back.

“I’m sorry, I’m a bit early.”

“It’s okay, we’re done now anyway.”

He hung up his jacket and scanned the living room. Everything was still in place as you had only taken your clothes, books, a few kitchen utensils, a chair and nick nacks with you - like the candles. You couldn’t wait. Everything else, you had left for him to keep and would buy new for yourself. 

“You don’t want anything else?” Jaehyun questioned with raised brows. “Just take whatever you want.”

“No, it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” In your hand, you were carrying another small box yourself, in fact, the one with the candles. You had always secretly lit them when Jaehyun had gone out as you didn’t care, and of course he always smelled it when he came back, picking up a quarrel with you. You couldn’t wait to light them whenever, wherever and for how long you wanted now.

“Okay.” He paused. “How is your new flat?”

“It’s very small compared to this place, and also old, but it’s cozy and I love it.”

He smiled. “That’s great. I’m happy for you.”

“What about the girl you met?” you chatted. That wasn’t the ideal topic for a conversation starter, but you didn’t come up with another one at such short notice. Besides, you were really interested in it. “Did you move forward and could finally talk to her? I would be delighted!”

Jaehyun was initially reluctant about his response. But as he finally came clear with you, the truth was so shocking, it nearly pulled the rug from under you. “There was no one I was talking to. I made it all up.”

“... what?” you breathed. You were totally confused.

“If I hadn’t told you about meeting someone else, wouldn’t that have made it harder for you?”

You couldn’t give him an honest answer. It certainly wouldn’t have made it easier, that was clear. “Did you… did you not want to break up?”

His slight smile now turned sorrowful and insincere, your heart ached badly. “I would have tried over and over again. Anything that would make you happy as your love life should bring you happiness. But if ours hasn’t brought you this happiness anymore, if you tried hard too and didn’t feel it anymore, then what more can I ask of you?”

“Jaehyun…” Your vision got blurry from the tears that now gathered above the rim of your eyes. “You should have told me.”

“And what then? Lock you up in this relationship you hadn’t been so happy in for so long anymore? The best was just to let you go, even if it meant driving you into the arms of my brother.”

Your breath caught. “I-... It’s… it’s not-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, I’ve known long before Taeyong confessed to me that you stayed with him that day… and night. I’ve seen his car parked in front of the house before I even got upstairs to look for you. And…” It was hard for him to talk about it all, that was pretty clear. 

You didn’t dare to ask, but you were certain that by that moment, Jaehyun had still been full of hope that everything would work out fine. Until the moment he had spotted Taeyong’s car and figured it out all by himself. 

He continued with a cracky voice, “You smelled just like him that day. I met that familiar scent the moment I walked in. Lemongrass and ginger. He never changed his shower gel ever since school.” 

You had showered at Taeyong’s place that morning and used this exact shower gel. If you were able to smell it on Taeyong, then why wouldn’t anyone else be able to smell it on you too? You had been so naive.

And then, you nearly let out an audible gasp as it suddenly crossed your mind that you had also never taken Taeyong’s wet clothes with you when you had left this apartment that day, so Jaehyun had seen them too. But he didn’t mention them which made it even more painful for you. 

If he also knew that you had slept with each other that night, you didn’t dare to ask. Perhaps, you also didn’t need to at all. You saw it all in his eyes, that he knew how you felt, truth or no truth.

“The funny thing is that always, I have thought that you two had a mutual understanding I couldn’t quite grasp despite never talking to each other.”

“We’re… we’re not in any kind of relationship,” you tried to save the situation. “I haven’t had contact with him since that day. I was only seeking shelter with the one person of whom I was certain wouldn’t blow me off, because...”

“... because he understood you,” Jaehyun ended your sentence. “See?”

“Jaehyun…” The tears now streamed down your face. Taeyong was right. After numbness and hatred came sadness. Your heart was filled with sorrow. “I’m so sorry for everything that happened. That I haven’t always been honest, fair and good. That I failed our relationship, and that I failed you.”

“Don’t be.” Under normal circumstances, you would have wanted to be held by him and he would have provided you with that. But now you only stood awkwardly in front of each other. “You tried, right? All that matters is that you tried. If you can assure me that, then I have nothing to regret, because, on my end, I tried hard, every single day.”

“I did,” you blurted directly. “I woke up every single day, trying and full of hope. Until I just couldn’t anymore.”

“Okay.” Jaehyun nodded. “Then I can live with it.”

“Please be mad at me all you want, hate me all you want,” you begged him. “Just don’t project this all on Taeyong, please.”

His shoulders shook, you just couldn’t tell whether it was because he started crying too or because he started laughing over the absurdity of your request. “Even now, you think of him. Shouldn’t that tell you something?”

It certainly did. 

But as Taeyong himself had said, you weren’t ready yet. At least not for him.

____

One year after the wedding

Your wedding dress was in the color of ivory, classically cut with straps and falling over your hips in an a-line, ending right above your knees - just like the wedding dress you had always dreamed of wearing on your special day, and this one you had selected entirely yourself. In your hands, the bouquet of flowers smelled lovely, the arrangement consisting of peonies and baby’s breath. No other bride in the registry office had brought flowers, but you had insisted on it.

“I do.”

You locked eyes with your groom who had just spoken out these words.

You hadn’t invited anyone in your family to attend the quick, official ceremony. In fact, you hadn’t even told them that you were getting married today in case anyone wanted to meddle again and make the entire wedding about them. This was only for you two, about you two, and this was how you wanted it. You didn’t need to make a show out of your love anymore. If only you two knew about it, then it was enough for you.

It was odd, and you chuckled to yourself as this silly thought crossed your mind just now as the registrar read from his book. It was odd how Taeyong didn’t like the smell of candles either. With time, you had figured that he wasn’t so different from his brother like he had always claimed.

But there was one thing that made the difference for you: If Taeyong didn’t like the smell of candles, you wouldn’t light them, not even when he was away. You wouldn’t light them at all, because keeping him happy was more important to you than the goddamn candles. You weren’t handcuffed to him, you only wanted to be with him rather than lighting the candles. 

You could live without the candles, but you couldn’t live without Taeyong. If he was gone, the candles would only be a silver lining.

In the following months after you had run away from your wedding, you had seen another country, went partying in the coolest clubs and were able to furnish the new apartment according to your own taste. You had also dated around, meeting different men and trying to bond with them while parallelly rebuilding your life. It hadn’t been easy, but it also hadn’t been overly hard. It had been challenging to say the least. You hadn’t kept in touch with Jaehyun or Taeyong for all these months, following the latter’s suggestion and just living your life like never before.

But after half a year, you had started to realize that this wasn’t the kind of life for you. You had tried, and you had failed. And if you decided to move on with something or someone else, what more could the world ask of you?

Taeyong had picked up his phone on an early spring day, his voice filled with happiness. “I’ve been waiting for you,” were the first words he had directed at you, and it almost made your heart burst.

Gradually getting to know each other turned out to be more of a task than a walk in the park as not everything could be reduced to great sex. You were still very different people as there were certain aspects of your character you couldn’t shake off and Taeyong refused to change about himself too. But you came to terms with everything that made your daily life hard. And in the end, you still wanted to be with each other.

All that mattered in this life was that you tried. All that mattered was that you opened your heart, gave everything you had, and tried. And when Taeyong had suggested marriage a few months into your relationship, you didn’t hesitate. You had jumped into his arms, saying “yes” more times than you were able to count.

“If you love a person, you just marry them.”

Was it really as simple as that? Certainly. 

You had been certain at the moment he proposed, and you were even certain now, when you stood in front of your groom with many other couples waiting outside, who were as certain as you to take this step.

Of course you had often asked yourself what if you would fail this relationship, this entire marriage, too. But as you looked into Taeyong’s clear and sincere eyes while he smiled at you so lovingly, awaiting your answer as the registrar had finished, you weren’t worried about anything in the entire world anymore.

“I do,” you assured him of and sealed your wedding vows with a chaste kiss.

You only wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. 

You didn’t ask more of the world.

#bye I’m crying #this was so inspiring and motivational

[pinkczennie]

high-waisted shorts

❝ i noticed you staring at my ass earlier, by the way. do you want me to get my shorts out of the way so you can get a better look? ❞

PAIRING ▸ huang renjun x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ smut, fluff, crack, college au, strangers to lovers au

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, alcohol consumption, sexual tension, teasing, dirty talk, one night stand trope, fingering, palming, oral (fem. receiving), more oral (m. receiving), choking, raw sex (pls use protection), in this society we make important decisions with rock paper scissors, copious amounts of anime references, ft. jaemin, hyuck, and jeno tormenting poor renjun

SUMMARY ▸ huang renjun might be the least committed to all this “bitch hunting” bullshit, and he doesn’t want to stoop to the level of stupidity his friends are at. that’s why he’s pissed when you’re strutting around in those high waisted shorts wherever you go, making renjun lose all sense of reason.

PLAYLIST ▸ like by bts • cravin by danileigh, g-eazy • 23 by chase atlantic • sparkle by radwimps

WORD COUNT ▸ 7,850 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ first installment of the bitch hunters series !! wrote this while i was angry bc my discord got hacked and i was furiously typing LOL but hope u enjoy ♡

THE FIRST TIME HUANG RENJUN LAID EYES ON YOU, HE FELT LIKE A SINNER.

He wasn’t religious by any means, but some force in the universe had to be frowning down on Renjun for the way he was staring at your ass. His housemate, Donghyuck, had thrown a party at their house for the sole purpose of meeting new girls, and Renjun found this whole thing absolutely ridiculous. His roommates were dead-set on finding a girlfriend this year, and they had taken it to the extent of creating a contract to detail the rules of their “bitch hunting.”

On the other hand, Renjun thought he could find love naturally, so he wasn’t too keen on indulging himself tonight.

However, looking at the way your shorts were riding up whenever you jutted out your hip, Renjun felt like he could let go for a night.

Keep reading

#I was at work daydreaming about the scene where y/n blows renjun so he’d let them do your idea for the project #not me being horny at work LQLJCOCVIOBO

[pinkczennie]

Just For You

the one where jeno has never wanted a mate, but begins to change his mind after he meets a feral omega.

⭑ pairing: lee jeno x female reader

⭑ genre: alpha/beta/omega au, sugar daddy au, pwp, smut, a tiny bit of fluff

⭑ warnings: language, my version of a/b/o dynamics, age gap, omega!reader, bartender!reader, alpha!jeno, sugar daddy!jeno, lots of yearning, jealousy, haechan is very calculating in this, jeno is a huge simp and spoils reader rotten, jeno is lowkey a masochist, multiple sex scenes, dry humping, fingering, begging, unprotected sex, riding, knotting, biting, oral sex (f receiving), breeding kink

⭑ word count: 12.7k

— note: this is a completely self-indulgent fic. i blame this jeno for making me thirst so hard.

It was a well-known fact that Lee Jeno didn't want a mate.

Despite being the most eligible bachelor in the city (and maybe even in the entire country), he wasn’t interested in finding someone to keep by his side for the rest of his life. On the outside he seemed like a dream. His wealth, power, and good looks were enough to attract potential mates from every part of the world.

But they always changed their mind after meeting him because no one wanted a cold, unloving mate.

Of course, there existed a handful of foolishly stupid people who believed they could be the one to melt the ice barricading his heart. Those women were always left heartbroken or offended at his disregard for the courting formalities and the very idea of mates.

Then there were those—namely the daughters of his business associates—who knew better, but only wanted to bare his mark for the status and power that came along with it. That was the main reason his potential business deals had fallen through. His refusal to even consider courting their power-hungry daughters left a very bad taste in a lot of mouths.

Forced meetings and unwanted advances were the very reason why Jeno hated attending charity galas. Instead of networking and discussing official business, he was forced to spend his night talking to different women who were after his mark. Tonight the daughter of the host had claimed her stake on him, not leaving his side once.

“—want at least four pups. What about you?”

Jeno only caught the last part of her words as he tuned back in to the one-sided conversation. “I don't want any children.”

The alpha was shocked into silence. Her horrified look was one Jeno had grown used to a long time ago. It was a stare he was overly familiar with. Any time he wanted to repel someone's unwanted advances this was the method he always fell back on because it was basically unheard of that an alpha wouldn't want to continue his lineage. Jeno might've possibly wanted to, but certainly not with her.

“If you'll excuse me, I have to make a call.”

He didn't give the alpha a chance to respond because he walked away before she could. By this point in the night he was mentally drained and wanted nothing more than to go home. He'd been at the event long enough to keep up appearances and keep his father happy, so if he walked fast enough he would be able to leave without any hiccups.

Just as Jeno rounded the corner, he nearly collided with a young omega wearing a staff uniform.

“Sorry.” He muttered, aware that he almost knocked her down because he was practically running.

Jeno waited for the gesture of interest and curiosity he usually got, or at the very least, the simple acknowledgment he was due from omegas, betas, and even alphas alike. But it never came. Instead, you surprised him by jerking your head away and backing away from him like he was the most repulsive man you'd ever come across.

That would've been fine because not everyone had to let him approach or even want him to, but the grating voice that cut through the silence made him desperate to find a way out.

“Alpha!”

If either of his parents ever found out about what he was about to do, Jeno wouldn't live to see another day. But he’s left with no other choice as he grabs your wrist and pulls you flush against his chest like a feral alpha with no etiquette. Something deep inside him twists uncomfortably when you stiffen against him. He'll apologize properly later, but now all he can focus on is finding a way out.

“Help me.” Jeno whispered desperately. “Please.”

Before you could attempt to work out why an alpha was asking for your help, the voice from before called for him again. A muffled gasp reached your ears, making you turn your head to the side. Ten different shades of horror went through when you realized the woman who had caught you in such an intimate position was the daughter of the man who organized the gala, a.k.a your boss.

The stillness in the hall made you uneasy, and the alpha—whose muscular arms were still caging you against him—gently rubbed his cheek against your hair to comfort you. You hated that him scenting you actually worked. The nerves you felt from before slowly began to fade away.

“She gets uneasy around female alphas.”

His smooth, deep voice might've been attractive to you in any other circumstance, but now you could only recognize it as a symbol of your downfall.

“I...” her face turned sour. “I didn't know you cared so much about the staff.”

The way she spat out the last word made you aware of two things. 1) you were definitely fired. 2) she didn't see you as worthy of being in the unknown alpha's arms. Before you could react in any sort of way, a low rumble ripped through the alpha's chest. Luckily, you felt too indignant to feel turned on even though that was fucking hot.

“You must be mistaken. I'm courting her. She is going to be my mate.”

Even if you ended up loosing your job, the look on the arrogant alpha's face was entirely worth it. She spluttered out something unintelligible, clearly thrown off by the admission. You vaguely caught the ending of her words that were something along the lines of my apologies, alpha before she ran off.

Once she was out of sight, you were released from the alpha's strong grip.

“I'm sorry.” Jeno immediately apologized. “My behavior was inappropriate. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.”

You just knew you had the dumbest look on your face when he bowed his head in apology. Never in your life had you seen an alpha apologize to anyone, let alone an omega. Somehow, you managed to smooth out your bewildered expression before he lifted his head.

Instead of accepting his sincere apology, you looked at him with a slight frown. “You just got me fired.”

The displeasure in your voice had him recoiling. It was in his nature to be respectful and do his best to please an omega. A deep discomfort scratched at his entire being as you looked at him scornfully. His biology was pushing for him to make things right and soothe the agitated omega.

“I'll properly compensate you—”

Jeno hadn’t even finished his sentence before you stuck out your hand. He looked at you with wide eyes, slightly bewildered at the brazen behavior you were displaying. Especially because you were looking at him defiantly and directly in the eye.

You were aware that your actions were downright stupid and reckless, but at this point you had nothing to lose. Besides, you could tell the alpha in front of you had money. Not just anyone got invited to an event like this one. Hell, not just anyone got hired to work at an event like this one. It had taken weeks for you to pass all the screenings and qualifications.

The alpha's wallet held a thick stack of large bills that he didn't hesitate to hand over to you. Unlike before, you didn't show any trace of shock or pleasure on your face. You stoically accepted the money all while squealing in delight on the inside.

“I guess this will do.” You told him passively.

Jeno was rendered speechless as you walked past him without looking back. As he watched you walk away, he still found himself unable to believe that such an omega could exist.

There was nothing Jeno hated more than wasting his time.

When the chairman of the country's largest cosmetic company reached out to him, he thought it was because he finally considered Jeno's offer. That's what the older man had made it seem like when he told Jeno and his father to come down to his office. Instead of drafting up a multi-million dollar, the chairman was waiting with his first born daughter. He should've known it was another trick to pressure him into officially courting her. Clearly, the stunt he pulled the other night at the charity gala didn't deter her enough to give up.

“Calm yourself.” Jeno's father commanded as they walked out of the meeting room. “Look at what you're doing.”

The employees he was walking past were all lowering their eyes in submission. Some of the omegas were even starting to bare their necks. Jeno let out a deep breath. As an alpha, he was aware that his potent scent had a powerful effect to anyone who got even the tiniest whiff, especially when he got worked up like he was now.

“Do you not find the girl's scent appealing?” His father questioned once they were in the elevator. Before Jeno could answer, his father turned his head back slightly to look at Jeno's assistant. “What about you, Chenle? Did you not think her scent—?”

“Her scent is fine.” Jeno cut in quickly, knowing his dad was making his assistant uncomfortable. “I just don't want a mate, dad. We've been over this.”

His father eyed him, obviously displeased. “You lied about courting an omega, and then you refuse to court a female alpha who is clearly interested in you. At this rate, you'll never give me any grandchildren to spoil.”

Jeno grit his teeth and attempted to stifle his growing irritation. “Dad—”

“You just haven't met the right person.” His father concluded. “Try meeting different types of people. There's this new dating app—”

“Chenle.” Jeno said suddenly. “What's next on my schedule?”

Thankfully, Chenle was quick-witted and came up with the convincing lie that he was close to being late to a meeting with his lifelong friend, Na Jaemin. His father never doubted his assistant, so he didn't protest even as they hastily parted ways.

“I let Mr. Na know that you plan to meet him in his office.” Chenle informed Jeno as they smoothly pulled into the street.

As usual, Jaemin found Jeno's misery very amusing.

Apparently, the story about Jeno's stunt was already the talk among the city's elite. Jaemin wanted to hear all the details from his friend directly since gossip always made all the facts murky. Needless to say, the truth was much more entertaining than all the rumors he’d heard.

He couldn't believe the gallant Lee Jeno had actually coerced an omega into helping him. But perhaps the most shocking detail of the entire story was the fact that this unknown omega didn't give Jeno a chance to approach like every other woman that had ever crossed paths with him. Jeno didn’t find the situation amusing at all.

“You actually walked out before he finished talking?” Jaemin's loud cackle could probably be heard from across the city. “Guess there's no possibility of signing that deal now, is there?”

Jeno growled lowly.

“Okay, relax. I know a place that will take your mind off things.”

Going to a crowded strip club definitely wasn't Jeno's idea of de-stressing and improving his mood. He doesn't even know why he followed Jaemin into the louche building or why his friend thought this was a suitable place to lift Jeno's mood in the first place.

“They serve really good drinks here.” Jaemin insisted as he pushed his friend toward the bar.

Jaemin forced his friend into one of the stools before he demanded that Jeno hand over his wallet all while insisting that it would be his treat tonight. Reluctantly and with a dramatic roll of his eyes, Jeno handed over his wallet. He let Jaemin order for the both of them as he turned his attention to look around the club.

In spite of its outward appearance, the club’s interior design was more lavish than he expected. From what he could tell, the customers were from different walks of life. Omegas, betas, and alphas were eagerly gathering around the main stage. He was busy calculating just how lucrative a business like this one would be to notice the bartender set the drinks down.

“Even the bartenders are good looking.” Jaemin sighed wistfully.

Jeno turned to look in the direction Jaemin was directing his glazed eyes. A girl with her back facing them was speaking to a tall, muscular man. He vaguely registered the scent of an alpha. Of course. Jaemin had always gushed about how he wanted an alpha to dominate him, and by the looks of it the male bartender was exactly his type.

“Don't babysit your drink!” Jaemin exclaimed when he saw Jeno staring at his drink without touching it. “We're here to have fun, and possibly find you a mate.”

His friend laughed when Jeno practically snarled at him. “It's just jokes. But seriously, drink up.”

Figuring that the night couldn't get any worse, Jeno blindly took the drink and gulped it down. To his surprise, the drink wasn't terrible. It had enough alcohol to instantly ease some of the tension he felt. Jaemin must've caught on to this because he immediately ordered another round.

This kept up until Jaemin staggered off, mumbling something about the bathroom. Jeno finished off the remainder of his drink and decided he had humored his friend enough. He absentmindedly reached for the inner pocket of his jacket and was only met with the feel of the silky fabric. He patted himself down, not noticing the look the bartender was giving him. Damn it. Jaemin still had his wallet.

“It it gonna be cash or card?”

He looked up, the order to just put it on a tab got stuck in his throat. The bartender was giving him a distrusting look. That wouldn't have mattered to him so much if he wasn't looking in the face of the omega that had helped him the other night.

Jeno unconsciously let his eyes drift down to your outfit. Unlike the other night when you were wearing a formal dress shirt that was buttoned up all the way, you were wearing a bustier corset top that hugged every curve of your upper body. The swell of your breasts looked delectable and accentuated your pretty collarbones that he would've loved to bite and mark and—

“I– Tab.” Jeno spluttered, horrified that he suddenly sounded like an awkward teenager.

You raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “My shift is almost over so I have to close out your tab right now. Cash or card?”

Your gaze was in no way inviting, so why couldn't Jeno look away? It was like he was stuck in some sort of trance.

He noticed that you were eyeing him like you thought he might try to run. The subtle look you gave to one of the security guards on the other end of the bar was enough to make him realize what the situation was turning into. Just before Jeno could tell you that he could buy the entire club without making a dent in his bank account, you cocked your head slightly.

“That's a nice watch.” You complimented. “I'm sure it'll be enough to cover your tab.”

Your tone (although mocking and scathing) sounded unfairly tantalizing. How an omega could act so boldly defying was unbelievable. Jeno didn't know how to react, but he was sure the heat in his gut wasn't an appropriate response. He only contemplated your implication for half a second before he thoughtlessly gave in to your unspoken request. It was like someone had possessed his body because he was suddenly taking off the watch.

Before the pretty omega could grab it, Jeno pulled his hand out of her reach. “This is only insurance until I get my wallet. Don't go running off with it.”

Your free-spirited grin made something coil inside him. “You mean, it's not a gift?”

His heart started to pound. Why did your question have the same affect on him as if you were begging for his knot? The carnal heat in his gut expanded up to his chest. Fuck.

“I'll get you a better one.” Jeno suddenly promised, unable to understand how you could evoke such a response from him.

Your grin, instead of being delighted like he expected, only turned more predatory. “One made of white gold and diamonds?”

Jeno knew you were teasing him. It was clear that you didn't actually believe he would follow through with his promise. The way you didn't shy away from treating him with blatant deride would've made him mistake you for an alpha if he didn’t know better. No other person would have the audacity to treat him in such a way. Even so, he couldn't—wouldn't—retract his offering of a gift. “If that's what you want.”

You let out a quiet snort and quickly snatched the watch from him before he changed his mind. “Hurry back.” Your voice was slightly authoritative as you dangled the heavy watch mockingly. “My shift ends soon.”

Instead of making him angry, your insulting behavior made his intrigue increase by a tenfold. It seemed like you held no regard for his secondary gender despite knowing he was someone who could easily have you at your knees.

“I won't be long.” Jeno stressed, exerting the most restrained side he had.

It didn't take long for him to find Jaemin. His dear friend was caged against the wall with a young beta's tongue shoved down his throat. Jeno clenched his jaw in annoyance.

“Jaemin.” He let just enough authority slip into his tone to force his friend to pay attention.

The look on Jaemin's face when he pulled away from the beta was priceless. With a sputtered apology, Jaemin quickly retreated from the beta's side and hurried to follow after Jeno, who was already walking back to the bar. His whines about how he'd found the perfect guy to take home being ruined were ignored.

When Jeno got to the bar, he was confused when the bartender from before wasn't there waiting for him. Only the alpha Jaemin had set his eyes on at the beginning of the night was there.

“Where's the girl that was here earlier?” Jeno demanded straight away.

The other alpha didn't seem fazed by his tone, but did eye him longer than necessary. “She went home.” He let out a quiet snort. “Don’t bother with her. You’re not the first guy to try to approach. She turns everyone down.”

Jaemin gave his friend an incredulous look. In all the years he’d known Jeno, he never tried to formally approach anyone.

“Don't worry. She didn't keep your watch.”

A deep, intense disappointment ate at his gut after the guy handed over his watch. Jaemin caught the agitated scent his friend was beginning to give off and quickly went to pay the bill.

Jeno couldn't hide his displeasure.

He hadn't even gotten your name.

Chenle had done many ambivalent things as Lee Jeno's personal assistant. Mainly, getting the hired omegas to sign NDAs and sending Jeno’s regards to any competitor who stepped out of line. But this was the first time his boss had asked him to dig into the background of an ordinary omega who he had never even seen. Maybe it wouldn't have been so strange had it not been for the way Jeno reacted when he received the information Chenle had gathered.

Jeno had been extremely pleased when he got his hands on the report. Like, way too pleased. Chenle barely managed to keep a straight face when his boss ordered him to bring the car around.

True to his word, Jeno went out and bought you the prettiest watch he could find. He could tell Chenle nearly died of shock because the most he ever spent on the omegas he hired was dinner and—if he liked them enough—some nice lingerie. Not a fucking watch that was worth as much as a car. Still, like the good assistant that Jeno paid him to be, Chenle kept quiet.

Thanks to the report he'd gotten, he was easily able to find out your name as well as the fact that you were in your last year of college. Jeno wasn't surprised when he saw that you were seven years younger than him—only someone so young could be as bold as you were.

Later on in the week, Jeno went back to the club on a night he knew you would be there. He approached the bar after spotting the alpha you were working beside last time. The guy seemed a little shocked when Jeno asked for you by your name, but smirked at him anyway. “She's in the VIP section tonight.”

Jeno didn't know what to make of that smirk. Instead of thinking on it, he walked toward where he knew the VIP section was located. He was immediately thrown off when he didn't see you at the small bar like he expected. Deciding to wait and see if you'd show up soon, he sat on one of the padded chairs while casually looking around. Even as the DJ announced the next dancer, he still didn't see you.

Before Jeno could contemplate his next move, a pure, unadulterated sweetness suddenly filled the air. Every single male in the VIP section was quick to sniff the air, eagerly searching for the source. Jeno had never smelled anything so delectable in his entire life. The scent made him want to bury his face in the source and never come up for air.

His jaw nearly dropped when he saw you walk out on the stage, clad in a rhinestone-covered bodysuit that left nothing to the imagination. Your smooth skin was complemented by the shining imitation crystals, and Jeno suddenly had an urge to drape you in real jewels. Ones that would go with your complexion beautifully.

The surrounding males started throwing their money on the stage before you even got to the pole, all eager to capture your attention. Jeno had never been the jealous or possessive type, but he couldn't help but feel a burning discomfort in the pit of his stomach as the hungry alphas and betas hooted and hollered at you. He held back a snarl. None of the filthy mutts surrounding him were worthy of you.

Your stage presence was as captivating as that intoxicating scent of yours, and Jeno briefly wondered how you managed to hide it so well before. With a scent like yours, you could've easily been mated to a rich, powerful man. From what your coworker had said (something that was later confirmed by Chenle's digging), he knew that you had actively denied any male who wanted to approach. It made his insatiable curiosity about you grow more and more.

Omegas had the uncanny ability to attract effortlessly, and that's exactly what you were doing with your half-lidded gaze. Your hips swayed in perfect sync with the music, making it seem like your fluid moves were a second nature. The crowd went wild when you climbed on the pole and slowly slid down with the most sensual look on your face. A look that made it seem like you were begging to be fucked raw and knotted and bitten—

All too suddenly, the song ended and you left the crowd with one last tantalizing look before strutting off the stage. Jeno was able to snap out of his haze quickly before going to find the club's manager. He might've seemed like a desperate perv, but there was no way he was letting any of those other men try to lay a hand on you.

Jeno waited in the largest private room the club had. All the confidence and self assurance he had fell away when the door opened. What if you thought he was some sort of creep for coming to see you?

He doesn't know if the casual smirk you're giving him is one you give every other customer, or if you actually didn't mind that he came back to find you. Despite his doubts, somehow your smirk managed to soothe all the worries he had from before.

“Did you like my dance that much?” You wondered with an innocent tilt of your head.

Jeno swallowed thickly. He loved it, but he wasn't here for that. Not tonight, anyway. He reached for the elegant box in his pocket and held it up. “I brought your present.”

The way your eyes rounded with shock was very satisfactory for Jeno. It was the very first time he saw a genuine reaction on your face instead of the blank expression you always wore. Much to his disappointment, your face was quickly masked by its usual stoic blankness. You crossed the room and sat beside him, careful to keep at an arms length. The never-ending cautiousness you had made Jeno's lips twitch. He'd met plenty of omegas, but none quite as skittishly assertive as you. He doesn't know why, but he found it extremely charming.

You warily eyed the box in his hand, and Jeno started to feel nervous. Were you about to reject his gift? There was nothing more disrespectful and humiliating than to be rejected by an omega. To be dismissed by an omega was the same as being labeled as worthless.

Finally, you set your pretty eyes back on him. “I thought you were joking about the watch.”

“I never joke when it comes to a gift for omegas.”

You rolled your eyes at him, and Jeno couldn't believe he actually found that endearing. Most omegas would be delighted to receive any sort of gift from an alpha. Especially a gift like the one he was holding in his hands. “Are you denying my gift?”

His voice came out so incredibly soft that you couldn't help but melt a little. Jeno sounded like the very thought of your rejection killed him, and that gave you an insane amount of thrill. Fuck. You had to get ahold of yourself before he could smell how much it pleased you.

“Then... what's inside the box is really mine?”

“Of course.”

You tentatively grabbed the elegant box from him and set it on your lap. Jeno was completely enraptured as you opened the box. He felt a deep sense of fulfillment at the way your eyes sparkled once you saw the glimmering watch.

That stupidly endearing alpha had actually gotten you a watch made of white gold that was intricately outlined with diamonds, just like you had asked for. Your fingertips brushed up against the edges of the watch, not believing that something so expensive and precious was actually yours.

Instead of immediately putting it on like Jeno had hoped you would, you closed the box and set it down.

“I guess you want your dance now.” You said as indifferently as you could, hoping all the emotion you were feeling didn't drip into your voice.

“Not particularly.” Jeno said honestly despite knowing that having you dance for him would be the greatest treat he could ever receive. “I only came to give you your gift.”

You raised a disbelieving eyebrow at him. “But you booked the room for an hour.”

Jeno would never admit to the fact that he had only done so in order for you to spend the last part of your shift away from all those sleazy males that you had danced for. “It gives you a chance to rest.”

As he got up to leave, you caught his wrist. Jeno thanked the heavens that he didn't physically react like the inner part of him did. He clenched his jaw when he saw the look you were giving him. Your gaze was almost pleading as you spoke your next words. “If you leave so soon, I'll get in trouble.”

Your stare made him want to ruin you. “Stay?”

Jeno had never complied with a request so easily.

After he sat down, he shrugged off his jacket and offered it to you. You were oddly charmed at his chivalrous behavior and accepted.

If Jeno thought having you cover the upper half of your body would stop his impure thoughts, he couldn't have been more wrong. The sight of you wearing his jacket was tempting, but the sight of you unconsciously scenting the collar drove him crazy.

“I didn't know you were a dancer.” Jeno said, glad that his voice didn't come out strained.

“I'm a girl of many talents.” You told him cheekily. “And it pays. I'm sure you saw how much money I made off that one dance. Now my rent for next month is paid.”

Jeno raised a curious eyebrow. The compensation he gave you was enough for you to not worry about money for a while. At least, he thought it had been. “Did you already spend the money I gave you?”

“Are you asking for it back?” You raised an eyebrow.

Jeno nearly bristled. No, he wasn't asking for the money back. He would never attempt to take back a gift he gave an omega. Your smug look tipped him off that you knew how offensive he found your question. He grit his teeth. “Of course not.”

You tilted your head in quiet amusement. “Even if I hadn't spent the money, I can't live off of a couple thousand dollars forever. And now that I lost my other job, I have to double my shifts here just to pay my bills.”

Jeno ignored the dig you directed at him. “So, you only dance part time then?”

“I usually bartend here, but one of the dancers needed someone to cover her shift. She said I could make double the money I usually do, and she didn't lie.”

From the report he'd gotten, Jeno knew that you often worked several jobs at a time to support yourself. Up until now, he had never felt the primal urge to provide for anyone. But now, he kept picturing himself giving you everything you ever wanted and making sure you never went without.

“Your boyfriend doesn't mind you working here?”

It was a cliché question and an obvious one. The small smirk on your face made Jeno realize that you'd quickly caught on to his line of questioning. And yet, he didn't attempt to take the question back.

“No one tells this omega what to do.”

Fuck. It was like you were teasing him on purpose. But Jeno knew better. He knew you couldn't care less about him approaching. You hadn't let him back then, and it seemed like you wouldn't now or in the future.

“And what about you?” Alpha. He'd hoped to hear that word from your pretty little mouth. “Won't the woman you're courting be upset that you're here, spending time with me?”

Jeno can't tell if your question is an attempt to tease him for the situation that happened on the night of the charity gala or payback for the question he had asked you earlier. Either way, he felt the need to clear up any misunderstanding that you may or may not have had.

“I'm not interested in making her my mate. I've made that clear to her from the beginning.”

“Why not?” You wondered, genuinely curious as to why he didn’t want a beautiful, rich alpha as his mate.

Usually, the words I don't want a mate were easy enough to say, but now it just seemed like the wrong thing to tell you. Instead, he chose to tell you the truth in a different way. “She's not the one.”

He couldn't tell what you were thinking as you gazed at him with your enigmatic stare. You held his gaze for a moment longer before you nodded in understanding. A small smirk crossed your face.

“What?” Jeno prodded.

“She must think you're crazy.��� You laughed. “To reject her advances just to court a regular omega who doesn't have one tenth of the wealth you do.”

Instead of agreeing, Jeno's gaze hardened. “She doesn't compare to you. I don't want a pliant woman who follows my every order by my side.”

His heated gaze and heart-stopping words awakened something inside you, something that felt like it could only be soothed by the alpha beside you. Damn it. You had to get yourself under control so he wouldn't catch on to just how much his words affected you.

Jeno checked his watch and let out a deep sigh. “The hour is almost over.”

You peeked at his watch, surprised that there was only ten minutes left of his private dance. Part of you felt disappointed that he had to go so soon.

As Jeno went to get up, you held a hand to his chest. He looked at you questioningly and you only gave him a deadpan look. “My boss will suspect something if you leave the room looking and smelling like you do.”

Before Jeno could ask what exactly you planned to do, you pushed him back with a force he hadn't expected from an omega before you swung one of your legs over his own and straddled his lap. His widened eyes had glazed over with a darkness that made your insides clench. You sensually took off his jacket and gave him an innocent look.

“Can I scent you?”

Fuck. All night Jeno had been trying to hide the arousal he was feeling, but now, with you in his lap asking him that...

Jeno nodded mechanically, and you didn't hesitate to shove your face into his neck. Whatever hold you had on your scent was released, and in the next instant Jeno was overwhelmed by the delicious odor. His dick was painfully hard by now, and it felt like he was seconds away from cumming in his pants.

You gently nosed at his scent gland, grinding your hips against him. The second your heat rubbed against his bulge, you felt how big he was. If you weren't at work, there was no doubt in your mind that you would've had the alpha fuck you until you couldn't walk.

Not caring that you were practically dripping in your own slick, you started to roll your hips hard against his covered cock. The deep growl Jeno let out made you clench around nothing. Your desperate need to relieve the ache between your legs was growing stronger.

You lifted your head, and scented into Jeno's hair. Fuck. He wasn't even doing anything, and you felt like you were going to spontaneously combust from how turned on you were.

Meanwhile, Jeno was trying not to cum in his pants. The feeling of your warm heat grinding down on his dick was driving him crazy. If you were any other omega, he would ripped your clothes off and fucked you senseless. But you were only doing your job, and he wasn't going to get your fired a second time. Even if he could smell how much you wanted him.

Before you could let yourself get carried away, you stopped and got off his lap. The intoxicating aroma of your scent mixed in with his had a fire burning deep inside your stomach. Jeno's flushed face and dark eyes were making you feel like the most desired person on earth. That heated gaze held something so... fuck.

“You can come watch me dance any time you want.”

With that, you left Jeno alone the most painful erection he'd ever had in his life.

You were going to murder Haechan.

When your friend mentioned that his rich cousin had agreed to let him use his giant yacht for a small party, you were ecstatic. All your friends agreed that they also needed a break from working and studying so this was going to be the perfect opportunity for that. Instead of staying home and resting, you decided to actually try to live a little for once.

You regretted your decision a minute after you got on the boat and Haechan pointed to the guy talking to the captain.

“That's your cousin?”

Jisung had taken the words right out of your mouth. It was same guy who gave you the icy watch and whose lap you were grinding on just last week. Part of your mind went completely blank while the other could only register panic signals. What. The. Fuck. This could not be happening to you.

“Yeah. What—?”

“Dude! How could you not tell us that Lee Jeno is your cousin?”

“You know him?” You asked incredulously.

“Forbes wrote an article about him last month.” Jisung's voice was completely starstruck. “He's one of the richest guys in the country, and he's not even thirty yet!”

All of these hard-to-swallow facts wouldn't have mattered to you had it not been for the fact that he was Haechan's fucking cousin. If he ever came to find out what happened between you and Jeno, you would never live to see another peaceful day.

And to think that the entirety of the past week you had been hoping to see Jeno again. This wasn't what you had in mind at all.

“Who cares? Jeno is a normal guy. He's a little uptight, but you won't even notice that he's here.”

You wanted to throttle your unsuspecting friend. How could you not notice the man that had been plaguing your dreams and sexual fantasies?

“Let me I'll introduce you guys.”

Before you could say no and jump overboard, Haechan was pushing you and Jisung toward his cousin.

You tried to calm yourself so no one would notice how uncomfortable you were. Because even if your friends were betas, the second you gave off even the faintest scent of distress they, as well as any alpha within the vicinity, would be able to detect it. Nothing was more undesirable than the behavior of an alpha in the presence of a disconcerted omega.

“Jeno!” Haechan called cheerfully.

The alpha's gaze didn't hold any shock, only what seemed like mild satisfaction, but you couldn't be sure. You were too busy trying to pretend that this wasn't happening to you.

“These are my friends, Y/N and Jisung. Guys, this is my cousin, Jeno.”

“Nice to meet you.” Jeno said, his eyes flickering to Jisung before settling back on you. “I had some champagne brought out. Would you like some?”

“Yes!” Jisung eagerly agreed.

Before Haechan could point out that he already had the staff set out drinks and food, Jeno's personal assistant brought out a bottle of champagne. And it wasn't just any bottle, either. His dear cousin had the Dom Pérignon brought out. Haechan was convinced Jeno had been body snatched until he saw the way his cousin was looking at you as you went to have a taste of his favorite champagne.

His gaze held such a carnal desire that he noticed even Jisung was blushing. A devious smirk crossed Haechan's face as he finally pieced everything together.

Two days ago when he asked (begged) Jeno to let him borrow his luxurious yacht for a small party, his cousin had turned him down right away. Apparently he thought Haechan couldn't be trusted, and despite him inviting not only Jeno to come along, but also Jaemin, the answer was still no.

Everything changed when you called Haechan in the middle of his groveling. Jeno happened to see your picture on the screen and immediately snatched his phone from where it laid on the table. His cousin had demanded to know if you two were friends straight away. To Haechan, it was obvious that you could potentially play a part in convincing Jeno to let him use the yacht so he lied and said you were calling about the party.

Now, it was clear that you had been the exact reason his cousin said yes. His smirk grew bigger.

Oh, this was going to be fun.

“Where's Jaemin?”

Jeno snapped out of his trance long enough to throw Haechan a glare. It was clear to him what the little shit was implying. “He couldn't come.”

“Really?” Haechan raised an eyebrow. “Because when I invited him, he said you—”

“Be a good host and go greet your other guests.” Jeno commanded, not willing to let his cousin speak any further and potentially say something stupid like he had the habit of doing.

“Come on, Jisung.” Haechan smirked. “I think Y/N wants to stay here and have a little more champagne.”

The scathing looks he received from both you and his cousin made Haechan realize that you two would a great (and terrifying) couple. Intimidated as he was, he still planned to use Jeno's infatuation with you to his advantage. This party was only the first step of a very long plan he had.

“I'm surprised.” Jeno said after your two friends left. “You don't seem like the type of person to get along with Haechan.”

“He's fun to be around.” You admitted, looking off to where he was excitedly greeting the rest of the people he invited.

Jeno hummed, not knowing what to make of the softness in your eyes. Just before he could keep the conversation going, Chenle came to him telling him about a problem one of his companies was having with one of the executive directors. He looked back at you, but you waved him off with the promise to speak to him later.

After having an impromptu conference call in one of the cabins, Jeno was finally able to go back up to rejoin the party. The first time he caught sight of you again, you were surrounded by two boys who he recognized as alphas. A deep satisfaction settled in his chest when he saw you very clearly brush off their attempts to approach. You hadn't so much as acknowledged them properly.

“Staring at my friend like some creep isn't going to make her come talk to you.”

Jeno turned to glare at Haechan. He still couldn't believe his idiot cousin was actually a friend of yours. He guessed he couldn't be too disappointed since it gave him the chance to see you again.

“If you don't go talk to her, Mark will just keep bothering her all night.”

“Mark?” Jeno couldn't keep the growl out of his voice.

Haechan shrugged innocently like he wasn't full on instigating (and lying). “He's been flirting with her since the semester started. Look, he's going up to her right now. That's like the third—”

He hadn't even finished his sentence before Jeno made his way over to where you and this Mark were standing.

You loved Mark, you really did, but he had been talking to you for all of ten seconds, and you were already done with the conversation. Listening to the problems he had with his mate wasn't your idea of a good time. The champagne wasn't helping, either.

“—that your boyfriend?”

You only tuned back in because of the words he whispered in your ear. As you glanced up at him, he nodded his head in a different direction, looking extremely intimidated. You followed his gaze only to find that Jeno was not only glaring at Mark, but also heading in your direction.

That gaze was doing something to you.

“Why would you think that?” You wondered without taking your eyes off the fine specimen that was Lee Jeno.

“The way he's looking at you—”

“Y/N.” Jeno spoke, his deep voice sending a tingle straight through you. “Sorry I took so long.”

You held back a smirk when Mark muttered an excuse about going to find Renjun. He practically ran off, not caring that it would've seemed rude. As you looked back at Jeno, you giggled quietly when you saw him glaring in Mark's direction.

“I think you'll have the entire boat on their knees if you don't calm down.”

Jeno belatedly realized that many of the guests were starting to feel the affects of his emotions. You surprised him by reaching for his hand and tugging him toward you. When you gently rubbed your cheek against his own, Jeno practically melted. “I know you get agitated around other alphas.”

Haechan's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw Jeno throw his head back and laugh. He looked absolutely smitten as he leaned into you and whispered something into your ear. It seemed like he wouldn't need to do much to nudge you two together.

“Your cousin is watching us.” You said with a laugh.

Jeno cocked his head to the side before looking back at you with a smirk. “He thinks I'm trying to approach.”

“And he thinks I'm going to let you.”

Jeno swallowed thickly. “Can I?”

Maybe it was the champagne, maybe it was the fact that Jeno was the most respectful alpha you had ever met, or maybe it was because you'd never wanted anyone as badly as you did him. Whatever the reason was, you found yourself nodding. “Yes.”

When you tipped your head to give him full access to the length of your neck, Jeno gently nosed along the soft flesh, breathing in all the pheromones you were releasing. He doesn't care that you two are amongst a boat full of people. Right now all he can focus is on you, and by the smell of it, you were feeling the same way.

Haechan nearly fainted when he saw the impossible. You and Jeno had skipped several steps of his plan and ended up near the final stage.

He was definitely getting his own yacht much sooner than he had originally planned.

“Listen, I'm only here because Jeno asked me to come with you.”

When Haechan said asked, he really meant ordered. Not that making you look like an absolute dream for the date his cousin had arranged wasn't already part of his plan, but still… his cousin could be very aggressively dictating when he wanted to be.

You had planned to buy a lavish dress from one of the fancy stores that Haechan was currently pulling you into from the start, except Jeno insisted that he would pay not only for the outfit for your date, but any other clothes you wanted as well. Usually, you wouldn't accept anyone paying for something you wanted. However with Jeno, things were different. He was respectfully demonstrating how he could provide for you, and it made your insides feel warm.

After Haechan made you try on at least a dozen dresses, you finally found one that you were both pleased with. A satin dress that hugged every single ridge and curve of your body. You looked so good that Haechan wouldn't be surprised if Jeno marked you as soon as he saw you.

Your friend drove you back to his house, insisting that you get ready at his place because he wanted to see the look on Jeno's face when he saw you.

All the long hours you spent getting ready felt worth it the moment you walked downstairs and found Jeno waiting for you. His suit fit him perfectly, clearly accentuating his muscular form. Fuck. He really wasn't going to make this easy on you.

The unadulterated hunger his gaze held when you approached him awoke a fire in you. Yeah. You were definitely going to eat him up by the end of the night.

Haechan watched from afar as his smitten cousin whisked you away. It was almost comical how smoothly his plan was going.

The restaurant Jeno brought you to was the most exclusive one in the city. All eyes were on you as you walked past the line and were seated right away. You'd known Jeno had power and influence, but seeing it in real time was something else.

“Do you prefer red or white wine?”

“Either is fine.” You told him, not wanting to mention that the only wine you'd ever had was the cheap kind Jisung would bring over on movie night.

When the waiter approached the table, you let Jeno order for the both of you since you had never heard of more than half the things on the menu. You glanced around, noticing that you kept getting inconspicuous looks from the surrounding tables. It made the nerves eating at your stomach coil uncomfortably.

“Can I have your hand?”

Jeno's question snapped you back to reality. His gentle gaze made you give in to his request. As soon as you put your hand in his, his thumb softly brushed over the scent gland on your wrist. You could feel the heat on your face. Damn. He'd caught on to your feelings.

“I can request another table if—”

“No!” You shook your head. “This table is fine. It's just... do you own this restaurant or something? Everyone keeps staring at us.”

“My father owns it.” Jeno clarified like it was a normal thing to say. “And they're staring because I'm having dinner with the prettiest omega in the room.”

You rolled your eyes, but couldn't fight the smile stretching on your lips. “Shut up.”

Jeno couldn't keep the satisfied grin off his face. While he absolutely loved your feral side, he didn't mind the coy side you were displaying.

You didn't realize you were still holding hands with Jeno until your food was brought out. The way your eyes lit up every time you tried something you never tasted before made Jeno's chest fill with warmth. He wanted to keep seeing that look on your face, be the reason for it.

“Haechan was surprised that you let me approach.” He said suddenly. Jeno was admittedly surprised as well. Even he could tell you didn't think highly of alphas or any male that tried to formally approach you.

“I've never met anyone that I felt was worthy of approaching.”

Jeno swallowed thickly, his heart pounding. “And you think that I am?”

The smile you gave him was blinding. “I do.”

The rest of the night went by in a blur, and before either of you knew it, you two were back at Jeno’s place. Honestly, he hadn't planned on taking you back to his house, but he was quickly finding out that you could easily bend him to your will. The craziest part was that he didn't mind one bit.

His lack of resistance to your charm was the exact reason Jeno found himself on his bed, with you on top of him. He felt exactly like he did when you scented him at the club. Except this time he had no reason to stop what he was doing. But he knew that he couldn’t let it go any further.

And so, very reluctantly did he pull away from you. “Wait. We shouldn't do this.”

“Why not?” You whined, yes, whined. Never in your life had you felt so turned on, and him acting like a complete gentleman wasn't helping.

“We've only been out once.” Jeno said, the reason sounding ridiculous even to his own ears.

“So what?” You growled. “It's not like it's the last time we'll go out.”

That was enough to make any little control Jeno had snap.

He flipped you over so you were beneath him. Jeno helped you pull off your dress, and let out a low growl when he saw you were only wearing panties and no bra. His head dipped down to capture one of your hardened buds in his mouth. His tongue swirled around your sensitive nipple before he gentle nipped at it with his teeth. Your soft whimpers were driving him crazy.

Jeno pulled back, completely enraptured by how you were looking at him with a dark, lust-filled gaze. Seeing the desperate way you were spreading your legs, he decided to indulge you. He trailed his hand down your body until his fingers circled your covered pussy. To find you soaking wet made Jeno's dick twitch. Fuck. All this, and he hadn't evened touched you properly yet. He bit his bottom lip as he watched you writhe in pleasure.

You nearly whined when Jeno pulled away from the part where you needed him the most. He sat up long enough to pull his shirt and pants off. The giant bulge being contained by his underwear made your mouth water.

Jeno started kissing down your body until he got to your covered heat. “I have to get you ready—have to taste you first.”

In the next moment, Jeno was dragging your panties down your thighs and holding them open before he shoved his mouth into your wet, aching cunt. Your arched your back, instinctively closing your thighs around Jeno's head. He forced them back down, licking you all over and shoving his tongue deep inside you.

It's not long before your thighs begin to shake out of our pleasure, your moans sounding almost pornographic. Just as you're about to reach the edge, Jeno pulled back, his mouth and chin covered with your juices. You'd never seen a more erotic sight.

“So sweet.” Jeno licked his lips. “My sweet little omega.”

“I...” you spoke through your pants. “I'm not...”

“You are for me.”

Before you could form a coherent response, a thick finger slid inside you. It wasn’t enough to give you the release you were looking for, but you clench around it and grind into his hand anyway. His movements are too slow, making you whine out of frustration. “Jeno, please.”

As always, Jeno is powerless to your pleas and yanks his fingers out of you, but not before sucking them dry to get another taste of your essence. You squirm in place, desperate to have him relieve the ache between your legs.

Your mouth goes dry when Jeno slides off his underwear to reveal his thick, long cock. It's so pretty, something that belonged in porn. You can't stop staring at the thicker part near the base. Fuck. You can only imagine how big his knot would be.

As if reading your mind, Jeno smirked down at you. “Thinking about taking my knot?”

“Yes.” You moan shamelessly as the fat tip of his cock catches along your entrance, gently nudging against your swollen clit.

Jeno repeats the action, allowing his tip to linger and press inside you before pulling it out. He kept doing it, loving the way you were clamping down on his head. The sight of your needy cunt trying to suck him back in was an image he would never forget.

You moaned loudly when Jeno finally shoved his dick all the way inside in a single thrust. All you could focus on was the monstrous cock splitting you open deliciously. “Alpha!”

Your own words don't register until Jeno stops. His eyes are dark, dark, dark when he pulls away from your jaw to look at you. “Say that again.” Jeno practically growls.

You looped your hands around his neck and shoved your face against the underside of his jaw. “Alpha.” You whimpered as you clenched around him. “You feel so good.”

Jeno pulls out enough to see that your slick was covering his cock and dripping down the length of it. Something inside him snapped, and he starts fucking into you at a savage pace. His harsh thrusts have your eyes rolling to the back of your head, incoherent mumbles and moans slipping past your lips. Jeno's groaning is like music to your ears, and you feel like you’re seconds away from gushing all over him.

The feeling of your sweet cunt clamping down on him has Jeno moaning, trying his hardest not to blow his load too early. He continues to fuck you hard, rolling deft fingers over the swell of your pussy. “Fuck, baby. You're so fucking tight.”

You quickly capture his lips in a sloppy kiss because you know you'll come undone quickly if he doesn't stop talking. Every drag of his thick length is pushing you closer to the edge, the heady scent of your slick filling the air as you grind you hips into Jeno's to match his thrusts.

“You're perfect.” Jeno groans. “Perfect, beautiful omega.”

His hips are snapping now, and his movements hurt, but feel so delicious at the same time. It hurts because you haven’t taken anything in a long time, and you know Jeno can feel that by the way he's moaning into your shoulder, cock slamming into your harder than before.

You want Jeno to cum inside you, to knot you and claim you. Just as you feel the base of his cock slowly forming and swelling, you can't hold back your orgasm anymore. Your moan was loud and pornographic as you tightened around Jeno's cock, creaming all over him.

Jeno had never seen a hotter sight than you reaching your high. The way your head was thrown back in absolute bliss paired with your fucked out expression was everything.

“Y/N!” Jeno groans as he starts cumming, spilling his hot, thick seed inside you.

It's not a proper knot like the one he would've had if he was having a rut, but it manages to keep all his cum inside. You pull Jeno impossibly closer, nuzzling into his neck.

His room smells incredible, and you know then and there that you'll never leave Jeno's side.

“Hold on. You think what?”

Haechan looked like he was on the verge of having an aneurism.

You and Jisung were hanging out at his apartment when he brought up how you were going to marry his cousin. Once you realized that he wasn’t joking, you informed your two friends that Jeno wasn't courting you, that you only let him approach because of your mutual need to have fun.

“What the hell are you doing with him if he's not courting you?” Jisung demanded, not liking where the conversation was going. Having a mate wasn't everything, but being treated with respect was.

You pressed your lips together. The relationship was obvious to you. If you weren't officially together, but still spent time with him, had sex, and accepted all the luxurious gifts he gave you, it was clear what was going on. But that was okay because Jeno had never given you any false hope of anything more and vice versa. You two were just having fun.

“I think you're missing something.” Haechan insisted. “My cousin doesn't just go around giving people penthouses, okay?”

Jisung looked at you with wide eyes. “He did what?”

Luckily, you got a text from Jeno at that moment, telling you he was waiting for you outside. “I got to go, but I’ll tell you about it later. I promise.”

When you got into the sleek black car that belonged to Jeno, you noticed that he was staring at his phone with a deep frown on his face. Like second nature, you leaned over to gently nuzzle at his hair. Immediately, you felt his tension dissipate.

“What's wrong?” You wondered as you nosed at his cheek.

Jeno swallowed thickly. What was wrong was that he had gotten a text from his cousin, demanding to know why you thought he wasn't courting you. But he didn't want to upset you, so he reluctantly lied and told you things at work had been stressful lately.

As you two drove back to his place, you couldn't help but think back on Jisung's words. What were you doing with Jeno if he wasn't courting you? It was a complicated question because at the beginning just having fun was fine, but more time you spent with Jeno, the more infatuated you became with him.

How could you not when he always treated you so respectfully? Jeno always insisted on taking you on luxurious dates and on spontaneous shopping trips. It was all too much sometimes, but you enjoyed it almost as much as you enjoyed having him by your side.

And not to mention the gifts.

If you so much as stared at something too long, he would buy it for you. Anything you wanted, from food to jewelry to clothes, it was yours. When you told Jeno that you didn't have any more room for his gifts, he turned around and gifted you a penthouse apartment in one of the many buildings he owned.

Which is why when you got to his place, you started to thank him properly.

The soft growl he let out against the curve of your jaw sent a tingle straight to your pussy. You moaned softly and threw your head back when his strong hands tightened on your hips, guiding you down to press your aching cunt against his clothed cock.

“Alpha!” The wonton moan made him buck his hips into yours. Fuck. You were going to be the death of him.

You're pretty sure that he can feel your slick leaking through your underwear, and you're certain that's he's loving every bit of it. Jeno is quick to bring a hand down between you. You whimper softly when he runs a finger against your clothed slit. He rubs it a bit before pulling down the fabric down your legs.

Jeno quickly unbuckled his pants to reveal his thick cock. The hunger in your eyes made Jeno grin and pull you down against his throbbing length. You breathed out a needy please, desperate to have some friction against your aching cunt.

The alpha dragged you along the length of his thick cock, soaking it in your essence. Your slick dripped down his balls and on to the sheets between his parted thighs. Jeno's pleased smirk made your pussy clench in want. Fuck. He looked so hot.

In the next moment, you felt his wet tongue swirling around your sensitive nipple, and you nearly lost it. “Jeno.” You moaned pathetically. “I need– I need...”

Jeno suckled at your hardened bud, running his tongue over it again and again. Fuck. It turned him on to hear you beg, but it wasn't enough. “You need what, baby?” He shifted his hips, brushing the tip of his fat cock against your entrance to coax an answer out of you. “Tell me.”

“I need you to fuck me. I need your cock inside me.”

Jeno could never deny you anything, especially when you were begging him like you were. He brushed the tip of his dick against you again before slowly pushing you down on to it. He forced your walls apart with a deep, guttural groan. No matter how many times he fucked you, he could never get used to how tight you were.

Before Jeno could move, you started bouncing on his massive cock. You were eager to bring him to pleasure since he was always so good to you. Every time you sunk down on his hot length, you whimpered in pure delight. Every time he was inside you, you were reminded that you could never get enough of his dick.

He smirked sinfully. Fuck, you were perfect. Jeno spanked your ass with such force that you rocked forward. When you fell on his muscular chest, he put on hand on your hip and the other on your ass. He started guiding you up and down his cock, his large tip hitting a spot that made you see stars.

“You're so fucking hot.” Jeno growled.

Your slick dripped down his balls and made the sound of his skin slapping against yours entirely carnal. Every clap of his heavy balls on your ass jolted you and forced you to brace yourself on his strong chest. A fist tightened around your hair, pulling you to his lips where he devoured you with a lust-fuelled kiss.

Jeno swallowed your squeal as his thumb found your aching clit, rubbing at it in practised circles. The wet gush of your slick coating his unrelenting cock felt amazing. The world seemed to spin off its axis as you listened to the moans of the man still fucking into you.

You two reached your climax together, muffling each other’s groans with a sloppy kiss. After you pulled away, you started scenting each other like you did every time you were done having sex.

After you two got dressed and were ready to leave, Jeno pulled you in for a sweet, but heated kiss. His tongue was exploring your mouth when you heard the sound of footsteps. You vaguely registered the sound of a throat clearing, but you couldn’t pull away because Jeno's firm grip didn't let you move an inch.

“Son.”

It was only then that Jeno loosened his hold, but kept a firm grip on you. To say that you were mortified to see a man who was clearly Jeno's father standing two feet away from where you two were making out was an understatement. Jeno was quick to scent into your hair, easily stifling some of the unease you felt.

“So, you really are courting an omega.”

His tone wasn't disapproving, and that's what threw you. So did the fact that he said Jeno was courting you, and Jeno didn't deny it.

A smile broke out on the older man's face. “It's about time!”

The older man rushed forward to take you out of his sons arms and give you a bone crushing hug. Bewildered at the sudden physical contact, you stood stolidly with your hands hovering over his back. Eventually you decided that despite his misunderstanding of the situation, it was better for Jeno to tell him at a later time. You gently returned his hug, unsure why your chest suddenly felt so heavy.

His dad pulled back, the bright smile still in place. “I never thought my son would ever bring back a nice girl with that personality of his.”

Jeno would’ve usually felt annoyed, but your mellifluous laugh soothed any irritation that he could've had.

“I don't see a mark.” His father said disapprovingly as he gave Jeno the side eye. “Your mother and I raised you to do things right.”

You blushed a bit because it was you who had wanted to get straight into fucking. Not that you were going to receive Jeno's bite, but still...

It was silent as you took the elevator up to your new place. Just before you could get to the door, Jeno came to a stop, but didn't let go of your hand. He tugged toward him, effectively trapping you against him. He cuddled you aggressively, not letting you get away.

“Talking to my dad made you upset.” Jeno murmured against your neck.

You sighed. It did, but not in the way he probably thought. “I just... won't he be disappointed when he finds out that I'm not going to be your mate?”

Jeno stopped cuddling you and turned you around to face him. He raised an eyebrow at you. It was almost teasing. “Is this your way of telling me you don't want me to court you?”

Your brain short circuited. “I- What?”

You never gave it a thought because you were too busy living in the moment and enjoying the fantasy you were living before it inevitably came to an end.

“You didn't think I would ever let anyone else have you, did you?”

Being courted was the single most romantic and frustrating thing that ever happened to you. Of course you appreciated the way Jeno was behaving, but you also wanted him to mate you and fuck you like you knew he could. For some reason, he insisted on waiting for your next heat which wasn't that long away, but also too long for your liking.

Now it was a little less than three days away, and Jeno had prepared everything. He even had Chenle fill his house with plenty of water and food.

“For your heat, I'll get you anything you may need. I don't know how your other partners treat—”

“I've never had a partner for any of my heats. You'll be the first.”

Jeno went still. Fuck.

You gave him your signature smirk. “You'll take care of me, won't you, alpha?”

Jeno knew you were only goading him into breaking the patience he had kept up until now. Especially with the way you were no longer keeping your scent wrapped up so it wasn't so potent. He grit his teeth and quickly stood up.

“Be good. I'll be back from my business trip right before you go into heat.”

And he was, but just barely. Jeno had to rush back home from the airport after he'd gotten word from Haechan that your heat had started sooner than expected.

When walked through the door, he could smell you instantly. His dick immediately got hard, and he blindly followed your scent to his room. There, he found the nest made up of his clothes and your own. You were laying in the middle of it, completely naked. Jeno growled lowly when you turned your lustful gaze at him.

“Alpha.” You whimpered as you toyed with your dripping pussy. "It hurts."

Jeno vaguely remembers tearing off every shred of clothing he was wearing to join you in the nest you created while he was gone. He crawled on top of you, nuzzling closer to chase your delicious scent. A delighted purr escapes him when you tip your neck for him, your entire body reacting to his presence.

“Jeno.” You breathed out, sounding completely spent.

Jeno hummed quietly, lips trailing gently over your collarbone. Your skin is so hot that he can only imagine how hot and wet your pussy must be. His cock twitches at the thought of having that heat wrapped around him. “Talk to me, baby.”

“I've been waiting for you.” Came your breathless confession. The sweetness that is your scent starts to build and gets stronger. Jeno didn't think he could get harder than he already was, but to smell your scent growing sweeter for him is... fuck.

“You'll never wait again.” Jeno promises. “This cock is all yours, gorgeous.”

His words make you keen. “You're going to knot me?”

Your desperate question has him pressing a sweet kiss to your hair. Fuck. You really had no idea what you were doing to him. “Yes. I'm going to fuck you full of my cum and knot you until you're carrying my pups.”

You let out a deep, contented sigh, and Jeno wastes no time in prying your legs open. To see your swollen pussy dripping in slick was a mouthwatering sight. He experimentally pressed his thumb on your lips, licking his lips when you moaned softly. He knew omegas were extremely sensitive when in heat, and he couldn't wait to ruin you in the way he knew you wanted him to.

His fingers rubbed you slick cunt as your arousal dripped down to your ass. You arched your back when he slid two fingers inside you and twisted them to hit just the right spot. With a loud moan, you rocked your hips into his hand, desperate for release. It didn't take long for you to clench tightly around his fingers and gush all over them as your orgasm washed over you.

Jeno slipped his fingers out of you and pumped his cock with his sticky hand, spreading your slick over his throbbing length. Another wave of your scent hits him, and Jeno feels like his brain turned to static. Fuck. Your skin is glowing and your gaze is as heated as ever.

“My sweet little omega, you're already dripping for me. You're desperate for this cock, aren't you?”

“Yes!” You moaned loudly. “I need it! Please...”

Jeno slowly eased himself inside you, his main priority to make you feel better than you ever had in your life. It's so easy to get his cock inside you because of how wet you are. Your cunt clenches sporadically around his cock like it's close to being too much, but you open up obediently anyway. Jeno slowly starts to fuck you into the mattress, savoring the feeling of your heat wrapped around him.

Your pussy is slick but still tight, clutching at the thick width of Jeno's cock. One of his hands slides down to feel where you two connected, purring in delight when he sees how stretched your entrance has gotten around him. His knot is already starting to swell, and Jeno thinks deliriously about how much wider you're going to have to stretch to take all of him.

“Look how well you're taking me, babygirl.” Jeno growled as he started to pound into you. “So ready for my knot.”

“Want your knot, alpha!” You moaned as he fucked into you harder, entirely focused on the feel of his dick pumping into you. Another moan tore out of your throat as you started to rock your hips up to meet movements.

“Gonna give it to you.” Jeno said through a low groan. You're too pinned to move, and now you're just laying there, taking his cock. “You're mine now.”

“All yours.” You agreed mindlessly, knowing no one else could ever elicit such a response from you.

At your words, Jeno started to slam his cock into your leaking cunt repeatedly, reaching a spot that no other man had ever touched. Every thrust felt like absolute euphoria. You chanted Jeno's name like a mantra as he kept hammering into you.

Jeno was desperate to see you fall apart on his cock. He could see how close you were, your glossy eyes full of absolute heat. Just the mere sight of you so gone for him made his knot swell even more. He shoved his hips forward, grinding himself impossibly close to you.

“Open up for me, babygirl. Open up and take my knot.” Jeno moaned, fucking into you so hard that you started to the feel of his knot bruising into your sopping cunt.

Jeno doesn't stop, rolling his hips hard until he feels the swell pop inside and you let out a dazed noise. “Fuck! Alpha!”

His brain fixated on the overwhelming sensation of finally popping his knot inside of you. There was a mind blowing pleasure of fucking his knot into your overwhelming warmth and tightness. Your dizzying scent filled the room as you came with a loud shout. You clenched around him, the pressure that was building finally snapping. You rolled your hips with a pathetic whine, cumming on Jeno's knot just like you were supposed to.

Jeno drilled into you for a few more strokes and then his hips were stuttering as he finally reached his climax. He groaned loudly as he settled himself as deep inside as he can. Then his cock was spurting cum inside of you. Jeno grunted while he released, his seed filling you up until there was no more room for it.

Jeno purred gently as you clung on to him in dazed pleasure. He can hardly breathe with how good it feels, the long slow pulses of his orgasm still rolling through him with every jerk of his cock, his hot cum still filling you up. Jeno nuzzles closer to nose along your jaw, licking at the sweat there.

“Look at you, full of my knot and cum.”

You grind your into him, smirking when Jeno shivers at the way your pussy clenches around his knot. The way you tip your neck to silently ask for his bite makes Jeno grin. He presses a gentle kiss to the omegas neck, conveying all the love he has for you.

And then he bites down.

Mine.

It's the end of the week when Haechan finally goes to visit you at his cousin's place. He regrets it as soon as he gets off the elevator and smells your scent mixed with his cousin’s.

A sympathetic frown graces his face when he sees Chenle coming out of Jeno's penthouse. He looked so haggard and traumatized that Haechan could only offered him a sympathetic pat on the back as he approached him.

“I'll mention to Y/N that you've been feeling a exhausted lately.” It would just be one of the many things he was going to ask of you once you were done with your heat. “I guarantee you that Jeno will let you go on a paid vacation within a few days.”

#bye this made me feel so many things #got me squealing like a little girl in the middle of the night #the smut in this WOW SO SEXY 10/10 #jeno better stop before I start to act tf up

[pinkczennie]

bitch hunters

huang renjun, lee jeno, lee donghyuck, and na jaemin are determined to have girlfriends by the end of their college years, but that’s easier said than done when they’re known as the biggest players on campus.

GENRES ▸ smut, fluff, crack, college au

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, sexual content (smut), alcohol consumption 

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ hello !! welcome to my nct dream 00 line series that i’m super hyped for !! since i never did anything for my 1k followers milestone…. or 2k…. or 3k…. or 4k…. consider this my 5k milestone ♡ these are going to be like mini fics (around 5k??) so it’s a refreshing break from the long fics :’) the stories are loosely connected but you don’t have to read in order. send me an ask or comment to be added to the tag list! thank you for reading & i hope you enjoy!!

LAST UPDATED ▸ august 7th, 2022

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[pinkczennie]

Somnophila | Jeno (m)

1.3k words; 18+ only; mature language, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex

You were currently having a wet dream. You were well aware that you were just dreaming because your vision is hazy and black, like an incomplete painting with only the essential pieces drawn.

Currently, you are laying on your bed while your boyfriend, Jeno, is completely naked, hovering over your naked body with a dark gaze. He gives his hard cock a few pumps before he presses the tip to your entrance and easily slides into your wet core. You watch as his dick slowly disappears inside you and you feel his girth stretch your walls open until he completely sheathes inside of you.

“Jeno,” You mewl, your mind dizzy with lust.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” Jeno hisses.

Jeno was absolutely blessed with a monster cock that when you first had sex with him, he would always say how tight you were, but in reality, he’s just massive. You weren’t even sure how he was able to fit, but he said he’ll make it fit. 

The Jeno in your dreams doesn’t wait for you to adjust and pulls back before shoving his length deep inside of you, causing you to throw your head back as he relentlessly starts to fuck you.

You moan shamelessly, considering you were just dreaming so you wouldn’t be disturbing anybody with your dirty noises. 

The pleasure was so overwhelming that your actual body is slowly reacting to the sensation and you feel yourself slowly start to gain consciousness, slowly slipping away from the wet dream.

As you slowly feel yourself starting to awaken, you’re panting a bit and your heart was beating rapidly as you can can feel soft lips sucking on the soft skin of your neck, strong fingers tweaking at your nipples, your legs spread wide open, and your throbbing, wet entrance stuffed full with a girthy cock. 

You peel your eyes open to see a blurry image of the same man you were just dreaming about, looming over your sleeping figure.

“J-jeno?” you mutter while your eyes continue to adjust from the drowsiness. 

Said man detaches his mouth from your neck when he sees you have awoken from your slumber and leans towards your face and pants a wet kiss on your cheek. “Are you awake, babe?”

You rub the sleep out of your eyes and look down to see your lower half stripped of your panties and your loose t-shirt pulled up to expose your breasts, your buds perky and wet from Jeno sucking and playing with them. Jeno did not have any pants on either, which were tossed mindlessly somewhere on the ground, along with your underwear.

You don’t even need to see it but you can feel his dick throb inside of you, which startles you when the gears in your brain start turning and you realize what is going on.

“Jeno, why is your- ah!” you squeak and grip the bed sheets when you feel Jeno grind against you. He was still extremely hard inside of you and wanted to continue with his act, considering he didn’t get to finish yet.

“Sorry, baby,” he groans with a chuckle. “I woke up this morning and couldn’t help myself when I heard you moaning my name in your sleep.”

You and Jeno have both consented to let the other use each other’s bodies even if the other is asleep beforehand. 

You’re surprised, but at the same time shouldn’t be surprised, by Jeno’s stamina considering you both did do it last night before bed and now the first thing you both do the next morning is fuck again.  

Your grip on the bed sheets move to Jeno’s shoulders when he begins sucking on your nipple again with his tongue roaming around your abused bud and his hands wrap around your hips into a death grip as he starts pounding you into the mattress, not afraid to be rough with you since you’re awake now.

The room is filled with the sounds of pleasured moans, kept at minimal volume considering you were now awake and didn’t want it to be known to the neighbors that you two were currently having sex this early in the morning, skin slapping against skin, and the bed creaking with each thrust. 

“Tell me, what was I doing in your dream, hm?” Jeno asks curiously. “Was I fucking you good just like this?”

“Yes. S-so good,” you pant out.

He lets out a laugh, “You’re so cute.” 

Suddenly, his demeanor changes and he’s smirking down at you with intimidating eyes. He lightly bites down on your shoulder, causing you to yelp when you feel teeth against your skin.

“My cute little slut,” Jeno growls. “Having dirty thoughts about me and my dick inside of you even in your sleep. So fucking needy as if I don’t fuck that pretty pussy of yours every day.”

You cower against Jeno’s words but it’s honestly turning you on more that your brain is delirious with desire, only thinking about chasing your orgasm. 

Because you had a wet dream prior to this but never got to finish yet, your release was already fast approaching. Your walls clench around Jeno’s cock and Jeno shudders at the feeling. 

“I-I’m close,” you state while your fingernails dig deeper into Jeno’s skin, surely leaving scratch marks. “Oh god. Feels so good!”

That was Jeno’s cue to wrap his arms around your naked body and hold you close against his body as he speeds his hips up, hitting the deepest parts of you. Because of his size, he was able to hit your g-spot dead on with no problem, causing you to see stars.

“Me too,” Jeno pants. “Can I come inside of you, babe?”

You nod, “Come inside of me. Fill me up with your cum, Jeno.” 

“Shit,” Jeno curses, eager to do as you request. Even though Jeno knows you were on the pill, Jeno makes sure to ask first just in case but you know he absolutely loves coming inside of you and watching it drip out of your pussy.

Your eyes practically roll to the back of your head and your toes curl when the feeling in your lower stomach snaps and you cum with a silent scream as your back arching against the bed. 

After Jeno feels you orgasm against his length, Jeno spurts his warm seeds inside of you with a groan, filling you to the brim with his thick load that mixes with your juices.

Jeno rides your orgasms out together before staying still for a moment, sticky bodies connected together with sweat as you both catch your breaths. 

A moment later, Jeno pulls out of you and watches as his cum slowly seeps out of your hole. Fuck, that’s hot. 

“I feel gross,” you whine. 

Jeno chuckles, “Sorry, babe. Also, good morning.”

“Good morning,” you lazily smile. 

“Do you want to take a shower together?” Jeno asks.

“Fine, but no funny business,” you squint your eyes at him, remembering how most of the times showering together meant round two in the bathroom for Jeno.

“No promises,” Jeno innocently smiles. 

You get up from the bed and start making your way towards the bathroom with the feeling of cum sliding down your legs while Jeno trails behind you like a puppy. 

When you open the bathroom door, the first thing you see in front of the mirror is your neck and chest covered in purple love bruises that Jeno left all over you while he was fucking you in your sleep.

You gasp, then shout, “Jeno! Are you kidding me? You left so many hickies all over my skin!” 

Your boyfriend giggles and wraps his arms around your waist and happily sways both your naked bodies as he stares in the mirror at the work of art he made on your skin. Honestly, he would have left more than that if he could. 

“They look good on you,” he happily says and plants a kiss behind your ear.

You sigh in defeat. Knowing Jeno absolutely loves to mark you and let it be known that you’re his, there will never be a day he leaves your skin untouched.

#jeno smut #jeno fanfic #nct smut #once again I dont know how this is my best fic???

[pinkczennie]

Good Girl | Jeno (m)

Pairing: jock!jeno x nerd!fem reader

Word Count: 1.7K

Genre: smut, 18+, fingering in the library, pwp

Author’s note: This is based off an nsfw asmr that got taken down but I still think about it to this day. Also, Jeno has been on my mind a lot lately and he just gives me very much jock vibes.

Keep reading

#jeno #jeno smut #nct smut #jock jeno #jeno scenario

[pinkczennie]

Good Girl | Jeno (m)

Pairing: jock!jeno x nerd!fem reader

Word Count: 1.7K

Genre: smut, 18+, fingering in the library, pwp

Author’s note: This is based off an nsfw asmr that got taken down but I still think about it to this day. Also, Jeno has been on my mind a lot lately and he just gives me very much jock vibes.

“Hey,” you turn your head towards the sound of the voice calling your name to see a male figure standing in front of you.

You recognize him: Lee Jeno, the university’s football captain. He was sporting his dark green varsity jacket and his duffle bag was slung behind his back.

It’s very understandable that you know Jeno due to his popularity around campus. He’s good-looking, body toned with defined muscles, part of a well known fraternity, and according to the rumors: sleeps around alot.

“You’re in my math class right?” He asks.

This is the first interaction you’ve had with him despite knowing him for a while now, which makes sense because you two wouldn’t really be seen in the same settings besides class. He would either be on the field or at a party while you were in the library or at your dorm.

You nod at his question.

“Great, I’m actually really struggling with this lesson and I could really use some help,” he sighs in frustration. 

You look down at the paper in his hands to see the formula written down but none of the steps to solve it yet. This was the lesson from the last lecture you recognize. 

Jeno came to the right person because math was actually your strongest subject. Well, you excel in almost all subjects but you particularly like math. He hands you his paper and you start to write down the formula needed for the problem. Then, you bring the paper over to Jeno to explain the steps and how to get the answer.

The professor is known for going through the lesson quickly which is understandable that Jeno is struggling. But that’s college for you.

“Wait, I actually get it,” he proudly states after you finish explaining how to solve the problem and pulls the chair beside you to take a seat to start scribbling down on his paper. 

“Wow, you’re really smart,” he praises, staring at his paper in awe. “Hey, I know you don’t know me that well and this is really sudden but could you please tutor me?” Jeno asks with pleading eyes. “Coach says I have to maintain at least passing grades to be able to stay on the team and I’m really struggling in my courses, especially this math class.”

Your eyes widen at the question. Jeno is asking you to tutor him? 

Jeno sees the hesitation in your face, which is understandable since he’s asking you for a big favor even though you two aren’t that well acquainted with each other. 

Suddenly, his demeanor shifts from worry to devious as he comes up with an idea in his head.

“How about I offer a proposal?” Jeno suddenly suggests, a slight smirk on his lips.

You raise an eyebrow at him, “What kind of proposal?”

Jeno leans over and whispers close to you, lips ghosting over your ear, “You tutor me and I’ll let you come over to my place to have sex.”

Heat rushes to your face at his “proposal” and you jump back against your chair to see Jeno smirking at you, dark eyes staring directly at your wide eyes.

“I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors about me by now. Not only my performance on the field, but also my performance in bed.”

It’s hard not to hear them considering the pretty girls on campus that coincidentally sit close by you before class starts would brag to their friends about how they got to have sex with the school’s athlete during a party the night before or he came over to their place to fuck. And they would even say Jeno’s name.

“I’ve seen the way you stare at me when you’re passing by, so I’m quite sure you’re somewhat interested in me.” 

You gulp, you didn’t realize you were being obvious. Sure, you may have snuck a few peaks at the football field whenever Jeno was practicing. Sweat covering his skin and his face full of concentration. It’s unfair for a man to be that attractive.

“Don’t you want to know what it’s like to have sex with me?” 

Heat rushes to your cheeks at the thought of seeing Jeno naked. 

God, you were so tempted. If sin was a walking, breathing being, it would be Jeno in human form. The fact that the Lee Jeno is offering himself to you, your mind races with so many dirty thoughts.

“You know, whenever I noticed you in class, I always thought how cute it was seeing your nose buried in your textbook without a care about anything else and how adorable you look when you push up your falling glasses up the bridge of your nose. Sometimes I wondered what it would feel like to corrupt that innocent little nerd sitting in the front of the class.”

Jeno can see how red your face got and it’s quite cute how easily flustered you are. You practically radiate innocence with your round glasses and shy exterior.

In fact, Jeno wants to keep teasing you.

“Why don’t I give you a little taste of what to expect?” The strong male suddenly picks you up from your seat as if you weighed nothing and sets you on his firm lap. Your eyes widen at the sudden action, but also from the fact that you feel something slightly hard in his pants poking your clothed butt. 

“J-jeno, we’re in the library,” you silently panic.

The man doesn’t let you go, but rather, holds you even tighter in his lap while you try to squirm away from his lap. “Relax, there’s practically nobody around us. We're sitting by the corner away from any prying eyes.”

Scanning around the vicinity, you see that Jeno was right. The location you sat in was almost empty considering it was well in the evening. It wasn’t midterm or finals season so most people were either at their dorms or with friends.

“All you have to do is be as quiet as possible and just enjoy, while I do all the work for you. Can you do that for me?” Jeno asks, his lips practically touching the back of your ear to whisper into.

A part of you knew a chance like this would not come again if you were to reject him, so with an audible gulp, you hesitantly nod your head.

“Good girl,” he grins and you shudder at the nickname. 

Jeno begins by placing gentle pecks around your neck and shoulder blades. It felt nice and comforting against your skin.

A firm hand spreads one of your legs open and the other hand slides under your skirt and inside your panties. You’re not sure if you should be thankful that you wore a skirt today, but Jeno surely is thankful you did.

“You’ve never touched yourself before, have you?” Jeno asks, even though he’s probably well aware of the answer.

You shake your head at Jeno’s question. Of course you’ve always wondered what it was like to experience an orgasm, but you were too intimidated with the thought of touching yourself. 

“Well, let me introduce you to your first orgasm.”

Your heart pounds rapidly and you grip the edge of the table tightly when his fingers graze against your core. A shudder runs down your spine when two thick fingers rub against your folds, feeling your arousal on his fingers. 

“Oh wow, you’re so wet already. Did I do that to you?” Jeno chuckles darkly.

Never in your wildest imagination would you think that you’d be in the situation you are currently in right now: Jeno fingering you. You can’t even believe you’re letting Jeno play with your pussy in the library, of all places too, but your mind is so clouded with desire that you momentarily don’t care. 

A gasp escapes your lips when his middle finger penetrates inside of you. 

“Shhh, you have to stay quiet or else we're going to get caught,” Jeno shushes.

Your hand slaps against your mouth to block the noises escaping your mouth when Jeno enters a second finger.

“Damn, you’re so tight,” Jeno smirks and licks his lips, “How are you going to be able to handle my cock when you’re this small? I better make sure I stretch you properly.” 

His fingers begin to rub against your inner walls, thrusting in and out of your cunt. There’s this unknown sensation bubbling in the pit of your stomach that’s craving him to go deeper and faster.

You grab Jeno’s hand in an attempt to remove his hand from your pussy because you feel like you’re about to erupt if he continues his movements but your strength is no match for his. The other hand on your thigh is preventing you from closing your legs too.

It becomes harder and harder to hold back the noise threatening to escape your lips as Jeno’s pace quickens. Thankfully, the construction outside the building helps mask the sound of your squelches. 

Based on the current position you were in, sitting directly on Jeno’s lap, and the sound coming in your direction, anyone passing by could tell you and Jeno were doing something inappropriate in public. 

On the other hand, Jeno could care less. To be honest and to no one's surprise, he’s done worse before. 

The male could feel your walls convulse against his fingers, signaling to Jeno that you were close.

“J-Jeno,” you quietly pant.

“It’s okay, go ahead, cum for me,” Jeno says.

And with that, you silently scream with a jolt as you release all over Jeno’s fingers. He helps you ride out your orgasm until you fall back against his body with your chest heaving frantically and your mind spinning. 

Jeno removes his fingers from your pussy that was coated in your juices and brings them up to his lips to taste. He hums in delight as he licks up your arousal from his fingers before releasing them from his mouth with a pop.

“I knew you’d taste delicious,” he chuckles. “I assume this means you’ll be agreeing to our…little arrangement?”

After a couple more breaths, you nod. If this is what an orgasm feels like, you might become addicted, especially if it’s with Jeno.

“Perfect,” Jeno grins deviously. 

#jeno smut #nct smut #jock jeno #jeno fanfic #jeno #jeno scenario

[pinkczennie]

fight club

❝ i don’t care if she has a pretty face; if this is your first night at fight club, you have to fight.❞

PAIRING ▸ lee jeno x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ smut, fluff, fight club au, rich kid au, college au, strangers to lovers

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, violent themes (fighting), mentions of blood, 7dream are all part of the fight club, ft. best friends karina and sungchan, sneaking around, fingering, strength/size kink, oral (fem. receiving), choking, sex ofc, lowkey corruption kink, also i swear jeno is soft

SUMMARY ▸ after park jisung introduces you to his shady after-school activity, you realize it’s far too dangerous to be involved with the underground fight club in any way. their members are rough around the edges—except for lee jeno, who keeps you coming back for more.

PLAYLIST ▸ atm by j. cole • baby don’t stop by nct u • new axis by nct u • nate growing up by labyrinth

WORD COUNT ▸ 11,914 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ WOOO ITS FINALLY OUT i hope you guys like it and lmk what u think !! ♡ remember when this was supposed to be 5k words LOL + another note and the tag list is at the bottom (sorry i forgot to respond to yall in the comments but i think i got everyone!) and thank you again for all the love :’)

THIS WAS A BAD IDEA.

In fact, this was a terrible idea.

Jisung didn’t seem to think too much of it, but you felt completely out-of-place among the crowd of sweaty males. It wasn’t like you were left in the dark about your best friend’s hobbies, but you didn’t expect to see him beating up a bulkier man in a dingy, low-light warehouse.

It was hard to wrap your head around the shocking realization that Park Jisung was a good fighter. He was soft-spoken and gentle most of the time, so seeing your best friend punching another man with all his might was throwing you off. Jisung didn’t look like much compared to the other man, but he was swift enough to pin the man down and twist his arm at a dangerous angle behind his back.

“Alright, ‘Sung,” someone called when it was clear Jisung’s opponent wasn’t getting up. “I think it’s safe to say he tapped out.”

Another scoffed in response. “Did he say that, Jaemin?”

“He’s practically gone limp, Chenle. Just call it already,” Jaemin responded flatly.

Keep reading

#oh my god this was so hot heheh I’m all red rn