plainsight3

[plainsight3]

I think my depression is getting to me, I try to control it. I feel a little empty, I hate this feeling I wish it can go away. When I was young I had a lot of suicidal thoughts, only because I felt alone. Now, don’t get me wrong my mom was a great mom but she had substance issues. So a lot of times I felt like I couldn’t talk to her, hell my mom used to scare the crap out of me. Now here I am with her same anger issues trying to manage it, but I feel angry all the time when I do have an episode.

I haven’t felt like this in a long time with my suicidal thoughts, I’m not gonna do anything because I have a family and they need me here. But every day I am laughing I’m goofing off I’m telling the jokes. Man do I freaking feel down, and it’s crazy how me having an angry episode that it caused me to feel depressed. but it’s been a while that for me to get angry that I trigger my depression along with suicidal thoughts. I feel very alone and I’m not gonna talk to any of my family members about this because I know it’ll only make them feel sad, worried, upset etc. I don’t like sharing my feelings with people because I’d rather not feel their pity. But I figured I talk on here because if anybody is reading my post you don’t know me you don’t know my name and a way that feels safe for me. Cause as I’ve gotten older I don’t trust anybody not family members, well the family members that I don’t consider my loved ones. And I only have one friend we’re both adults now they have their kids and sometimes I think my emotions are over bearing for people. And those are the things that really makes me sad & make me tear up.

[plainsight3]

I hate that I can’t stop thinking of you 😔

3 years for nothing

[plainsight3]

Ever feel like you’re stuck? Like everything you do is not enough? I kind of hate it that I can hear myself screaming within to get that love you once gave me before

#night time thoughts

[plainsight3]

It’s nice talking without anyone knowing who you are.

Since I don’t trust anyone’s intentions, I just want to say what’s on my mind without anyone asking me but, why?

So If you see this than great and if you don’t than you don’t 😁

#first post