plzleavemealone711

[plzleavemealone711]

I don’t know if we ever figure out who we are. Perhaps only who we are not.

HNE

[plzleavemealone711]

Fraud

And you said to trust you

And I said I didn’t know how

But you reached out your hand

Things would be different now

You were much like the same

Just wanted to use my name

To help you feel more real

But you promised I could feel

I tried again and I’m not surprised

Sad eyes always lie

You think it’s a game and you want play

You don’t know the real me- I won’t stay

HNE

[plzleavemealone711]

[plzleavemealone711]

#writing #poetry #butterflies #love

[plzleavemealone711]

☕️☕️☕️ #writing #poetry

[plzleavemealone711]

There are so many things I wish I could forget, I can hardly remember them all.

#writer #writing #spilled words #thoughts #emotions #poetic #poetry

[plzleavemealone711]

Enough

And you might have loved me, but did you love me enough? Enough to stop the ideals of others filling your head. Enough to end the fantasizing of what it might be like to be inside of someone else. Enough for you to see me as perfect or beautiful, like those girls on your phone.

And that sick gut wrenching feeling of asking myself those questions, and staring down at my scar ridden body and my fat thighs. Wondering why I ever bothered at all. I’ll never be enough for you.

#free verse #love #write #writing #painrelief #spilled ink #spilled words #emotions #spilled thoughts #poetic #poem

[plzleavemealone711]

Eggs.

We just needed some eggs. For a cake or cupcakes or muffins, or something rather, that would require eggs. And I used them for breakfast too, when we woke up early enough for breakfast. But we never made it to get the damn eggs.

It was harsh violent words and slammed doors, and walking away before even realizing why we had been arguing this time. And it all started over a simple trip to get some eggs. A sharp comment here, a distancing look there, and suddenly you were gone. Not physically, but emotionally, the person I knew was gone. I stared back into the eyes of a stranger, one whom I once wished to sleep beside for an eternity. This was now the person I wanted an escape from. And my mind kept resorting back to eggs. Fucking eggs. White defenseless and fragile shells.

And you know, I don’t eat them anymore. I needed some object, some stupid thing to blame, for taking you away.

#writer #writing #free verse #creative writing #spilled thoughts #love #spilled words #poetry #poetic

[plzleavemealone711]

Love is certainly not enough.

It takes a lot more than love to make things last. Sacrifice. Compromise. Good intentions. Unselfishness. Restraint. It will require so much more than a four letter word. I think it all could end in the blink of an eye-if you’re not careful. And being careful was very hard for someone as clumsy as I.

#writing #thoughts #honesty #raw truth #emotions #poetry #poetic #poem #write #spilled words

[plzleavemealone711]

Not even enough for the person we love. How do we take that shot? How do I soften that blow? It hurts to think about— I can’t figure it out this time.

#writing #writer #raw truth #poetic #poetry #poem

[plzleavemealone711]

Yeah it fucking hurts to live in this world—always being compared to other people. I can’t make up pretty lines to make myself feel better about that. Is anyone ever really enough? Or is it all an illusion, one we never figure out is a lie.

#poetic #poetry #writer #writing #enough #life

[plzleavemealone711]

I don’t know if it was you

It was probably me

Never learned how to accept a good thing

I blocked it out so I didn’t have to feel

You loving me might’ve been too real

I wish I could give it another try

But I am too worried at my own reply

I have always been clumsy

Especially with those who only wanted to love me.

#writer #writing #love #poetry #poem #poetic

[plzleavemealone711]

Advice

If you don’t think you’d be any good at acting, just try and remember the mask you put on every day. That seems to help me.

#writer #writing #poetic #poetry #thoughts

[plzleavemealone711]

You were it for me.

And when you left, you took a part of me with you.

And I tried to fill it. The space.

With school. With work. With friends. With boys. Booze, and anything I could get my hands on.

Nothing helped.

The darkness was so hard to over power some nights, but I did it. The emptiness felt like a black hole at times, I thought I would never get out. But I did.

So as much as I want you to come back.

As much as I want to be whole again,

I can’t lose more of me, to you.

I’m not sure I’d survive you a another time.

#poetic #poetry #writer #love #painrelief

[plzleavemealone711]

The ocean tide crashes into the shore and begins to drawl back. The water being pulled forcefully into itself. I am destined to you in that way. As complex as the gravitational pulls of the galaxy and as easy as standing still. I belong with you. Past, present, future, alternate universes. I’ll be here, breathing the same air. Wherever your soul moves, I move.

#writer #poetic #poetry #love #destiny #feelz

[plzleavemealone711]

Refill

Someone told me I drink too much

I said there wasn’t such a thing as being enough

When your wounds are exposed and your heart on the floor

We numb ourselves at any expense anymore

Feeling fire coursing through my chest

Take a drink to forget the rest

Waking up in the reality of hell

How much is too much,

and how could you tell?

HNE

#writing #poetry #poetic #drinks #drunk #feelz #love #hate

[plzleavemealone711]

Fraud

And you said to trust you

And I said I didn’t know how

But you reached out your hand

Things would be different now

You were much like the same

Just wanted to use my name

To help you feel more real

But you promised I could feel

I tried again and I’m not surprised

Sad eyes always lie

You think it’s a game and you want play

You don’t know the real me- I won’t stay

HNE

#poetic #poem #writing #love #feelz #fake