pnwmax
forgive me
venting thoughts here randomly as an outlet to face the daily grind
344 posts
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
peachybitch17
Peachyfuck17
zeroisalemonnow
Bears™
harmonyparts
harmony.p.arts
lemonvapor
Hold Me Close
Text
I see a tree and think I’m a tree, when I’m still a seed, needing water, food and time to grow into a tree. My mentality gets me comparing myself to others off the jump, but I realize that I can’t be the best at everything. We all have our own individual calling and purposes we find. We can uplift those - even in our own industries - over competing because it’s a choice we have the power to make and we are our only true competition. Being better today than yesterday. Empowering ourselves improves the odds of us doing so. However, we need to also appreciate what others bring to the space and how they got their in their journey. Because I may not be a tree now, but if I feed, water and give myself time to grow, I’ll get there. I just have to decide what species of tree is for me.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
been doing a lot of self reflection and improvement. have taken on too much to stay busy and ignore red flags that my mental health was giving me by taking on even more. im a person that compres themselves through a competitive lens, at the fault of being generally hard to approach and not having deep relationships later in life. i don’t think I’m alone in this space, though. it seems a lot of people go thru growing apart from people they were once close to, taking their problems internally instead of reaching out for help, having their social life limited down to their family. it’s lonely and uninspiring, but im trying to branch out and waiting for it to reciprocate.
0 notes
Text
im in a miss-ive mood…
i miss my daughter, she’s vanished from my life.
i miss my dad, already 12 years gone, but i remember our last interaction on a summer day when you picked up my brother. i held her at just 8 months old saying good bye as you drive off.
i miss thinking i could find happiness…
but we are all wired unique.
the experiences i’ve chosen and not chose.n all unique as well.
a lot of inner exploration lately and being free of any medication opened that up.
i’m an angry person. angry at not standing up more and dwelling on those moments. angry at past relationships. angry i don’t have people i love so much in my life. angry at how some things ended. angry i’m not doing more and haven’t gotten farther than i have. angry i’m always consumed with anger and hate for myself, and that i have no one to talk to. angry that i don’t have more for my kids… not things, but more opportunities to help them where they need it. angry at all the energy i put into my last place of work, thinking it’d pay me back that effort. angry at past labels and being seen a certain way by others - who i was and not who i am. angry i don’t feel like i control my life, but am always serving someone else.
angry i talk and no one seems to listen. not family, not my partner, no i might as well be alone in confinement. unfortunately, the pressure i put on myself is far more pain than i can get from anyone else.
0 notes
Text
brain zaps are such a nuisance. coming off ad’s and they’ve been hitting me daily for three weeks since, through less regularly.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
loss is hard. if we are fortunate to see our lives outlast some of those around us we care about, we also have to face that reality. the feeling of having no further communication in a world where we can direct message or text anyone around the globe in moments is a tough one.
like any loss, i miss them. i think about the conversations we had that I’ll miss, and the ones i wish we had and no longer have the opportunity to. i can’t say knowing in advance is better or worse than not knowing. i hope i can be in a place where i can make new connections that leave people missing my presence the way i miss some of the L’s i’ve been dealt lately.
0 notes
Text
to be accepted.
to feel accepted, welcomed, greeted, needed... there is no greater desire in a human than the need for acceptance.
instead of continuing a “good” job that feels like a safe thing, but where there is no appreciation for the hard work and extra effort put in, i start a journey not working for a retirement.
this journey will be the art of living life. making genuine connections, building relationships, doing a job that the universe draws me into. for now i will work on self improvement and enjoying this summer.
#life#reflection#living#thought#happiness#world#people#journey#self improvement#realign#thoughts#mind#change
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m one of those people that fear the realization of death every day at some point - and the thought of everyone i care about and the finality of that moment.
0 notes
Text
i have been in places where i can’t empathize with others completely. like “it will get better” or “it’s only temporary.” but that isn’t any better than telling someone who’s just lost someone close to them “i’m sorry for your loss.” it’s a gesture, but what does it really do to help that person in their current state? i wasn’t where they were at.
i am there now and this consumption of negativity and the inability to think or be comfortable is unbearable. this last year has made an already small circle of those to confide in even smaller. but this isn’t a product of a phase or year, it’s a flame that’s always burned, but has spread through to the rest of the forest.
0 notes
Text
we are all equal in the time we have. we all are mortal with equal risk and hazard. what we leave is what remains. our jobs and status and money do not memorialize us. we are remembered by the creations we bring to the world, and the connections we make with people into memories.
break down barriers and offer the first hand. it’s in people we find the answers and joy in life. make music, make art, write a book, craft, paint, make a travel vlog or start a business. it’s in creation we are memeorialized.
0 notes
Text
do devices separate us or connect us? i think the sale of these has been to have your own assistant, more productivity, but how many times do you go to a social/public event to see everyone’s attention on a screen. why not use these to empower us as a person, and connect us, instead of spreading us - even when we are physically present.
0 notes
Text
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
“Ring-ring, phone call from depression,
You used my past and my memories as a weapon”
https://genius.com/Juice-wrld-wishing-well-lyrics
0 notes
Text
how long does it take to catch a dream?
i find my life being a constant struggle to figure out what i want it to be and always put off living it for preparing to live it how i envision it will one day be.
we don’t control the amount of time we live, but we do control how we live the time we are given.
0 notes