pokeasleepingsmaug

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Not me re-watching The Last Kingdom and falling in love with Sihtric all over again

#the last kingdom #sihtric #send help

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I am OBSESSED with people telling me how they met the love of their life. Just found out my director met his wife through a misdirected email - that’s fate right there.

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jane fonda got arrested the third week in a row at climate change protests. this time with ted danson

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tangled gave us so much, but mostly it gave us the beautiful and intense love of a horse and the man he is chasing in order to imprison

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Apparently there's an evolutionary theory that the reason why Africa has so much wild big-ass megafauna while the big-ass megafauna on all the other continents went extinct is because they evolved right beside humans, and knew us well enough to not get hunted into extinction.

So while everything from giant koalas to giant sloths barely had the time to think "what the fuck is that" before getting pierced by a spear and getting their bone marrow gently fed to babies and the toothless elderly, Africa had elephants who had all the time in the world to learn to tell apart human languages and teach the next generations of their herd which human sounds mean that this tribe won't hurt you, but humans who make this kind of sounds are a danger. And hippos learned to conclude "I think I'll fuck up this two-legged weird shit on sight."

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Dear god. please make all superyachts explode tomorrow. amen.

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/sees fossils of older dinosaur and baby dinosaurs intertwined in a way that implies the adult died crouching over the nest trying to protect them from a natural disaster/ oh my god it died crouching over the nest trying to protect them from a natural disaster 😭

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Why I don't say "dead name."

I was born premature, and my parents' first child. I was a "surprise" as they say, but they still very much were happy to have me, as they were planning on starting a family, just not so soon.

They put a lot of thought into my name, or rather, my names.

I am named after my great-great-grandmother, whose name began with "E" in English and "א" in Hebrew.

I am named after my great-grandfather, whose initials were "E M" in English and "א מ" in Hebrew.

A few days after I was born, I lost consciousness, and was in the NICU for days. My father, in my naming ceremony in the hospital's chapel, breathlessly added a third name, the Hebrew word for "is alive", which begins with "C" in English and "ח" in Hebrew.

The English translation of my given name is roughly "Hidden Living Rebellion", which I embodied well.

My name now is Eitan Meshullam Chai. I kept the initials, both in Hebrew and in English. Its English translation is "Strong, Complete, Alive." I embody that meaning well today. I am strong, I am complete, and I am alive.

My given name is not bad, I have no reason to kill it. Is "Yaakov" dead to "Yisrael" just because he was renamed? Is "Sarai" dead to "Sarah" just because she was renamed? No. "Yaakov" and "Sarai" were different people that changed when they became "Yisrael" and "Sarah", but "Yaakov" and "Sarai" were never dead. Just transformed.

I accomplished many things under my former names. I was a creative, intelligent little girl, and yes, I was a girl, though I grew into a man. I wasn't a little boy, I was never treated as such and didn't embody the role of a boy. I was a girl, and now I am a man. But the little girl isn't dead. She lives within me, as all my past selves do.

My given names were gifts. It's said that parents are given a hint of prophecy when they name their child. My parents named we well. I was hidden, I did rebell, and I'm still alive. I wouldn't kill a prophecy they made.

Is a seed dead just because it grew into a flower? Is an egg dead just because it hatched?

My past names are not my "dead names". They are my given names, and now, I have my new names, my chosen names, chosen with the same gift of prophecy as my parents' had.

My past self is not dead. It is merely transformed, transitioned, you may say.

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This is more of a problem on Facebook and Twitter, but there are some fellow authors who get a tad... upset when you talk about money and royalty earnings.

Needless to say, my frankness about how royalties work and just how little many of us are earning from our labor has drawn the ire of a few people, even here on Tumblr.hell.

I'm not particularly bothered by this. In my view, they're the same people who won't discuss wages in the workplace because they don't want anyone else to earn what they do. They know the system is unfairly rigged, but they like it that way because they're scared if more people are educated about how things work, they'll lose whatever competitive edge they think they have, thus enforcing the status quo.

Needless to say, I don't care for this view.

I'm very much a "holy shit, two cakes" kind of creator. I also very firmly believe in pulling people up behind me and spreading the wealth of information that was shared freely with me by other like-minded individuals who also believe that the mysteries around publishing are gatekeeping bullshit and everyone deserves the chance to earn money from their creative endeavors, not just the people who can afford to.

Anyway, David Gaughran's 'Let's Get Digital: How To Self-Publish And Why You Should' is an invaluable resource for indie authors and provides great insight into how publishing and distribution work. It is available for free through the retailers listed on his website.

If you don't want to publish exclusively through Amazon, draft2digital.com does global ebook and also paperback distribution. (I've only used it for ebooks, but I'll be trying out their paperback options for my next book.) You can pair it up with a books2read account to create easy-to-post buy links. Draft2Digital also allows for distribution through library lending services like Overdrive. So that's neat. (NB: if you use d2d, you can't use Kindle Unlimited, so be aware of what links you have active and where if you decide to enroll in KU. You can always opt for wide distribution again once your KU time expires.)

D2D also recently partnered with FindawayVoices.com for audiobook distribution. You can find voice actors there, or you can upload your own files if you already have them. You can submit to Audible through them, too, but you'll earn a pittance more if you upload directly through Audible. Findaway also allows for library lending distribution through Libby and several other global equivalents.

If you need ISBNs, you can buy them cheaper in bulk from Bowker at myidentifiers.com

Individual storefront options like Payhip.com and Gumroad.com are also great ways to allow people to buy directly from you, though I soured on Gumroad after the whole NFT thing and their CEO harassing people on Twitter over it. Payhip is now my preferred storefront, and as an added bonus, they calculate VAT in European countries as well, so that's one less thing for me as an indie author to work out. As an added bonus, Payhip can be directly integrated into your author website if you have one. It's a feature I'll be implementing soon.

itch.io also allows for the sale and distribution of ebook files, though I haven't used it yet.

If you don't have the means to hire a cover designer or the means to do it yourself in photoshop, Canva.com has some decent-ish ebook templates. Just make sure the images and fonts you're using have the right licenses for commercial use.

Editing and formatting are also extremely important, though I know not everyone can afford them. If you can, I highly suggest doing so and shelling out extra to have them format your work across mediums. Ebook formatting is different from paperback formatting, and it can look very strange if you just try to format an ebook into a pdf. It is a skill you can teach yourself (plenty of youtube videos) if you really want to, but I prefer to throw money at my editors, who provide formatting as an additional service. Whatever you can afford to do to streamline the process is money well spent.

Also, do not be shy about using affiliate links to sell your work. Authors lose a solid chunk of money to places like Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple, etc., in distribution fees. Whatever pennies you can scrape back through affiliate links for directing traffic to those sites is hard-earned--and it is literal pennies sometimes. You can also integrate any affiliate links you do have into draft2digital, so they auto-generate, which is handy.

When it comes to paperbacks, BookShop.org offers the best affiliate earnings, and a percentage of the sale goes toward supporting indie bookstores. They do not take that percentage from your earnings, they pay it themselves. Libro.FM is the audiobook equivalent of BookShop.org, and they also give a percentage of sales to supporting indie book stores.

Anyway, I hope that helps someone. Good luck out there.

Also, if you're the person who sent me the irate email about "giving away trade secrets," feel free to die mad about it. 😘

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Tell me a soft memory

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Every time Sean Astin makes a statement on whether or not Sam and Frodo were indeed gay for each other in lord of the rings he’s always like “well we have to acknowledge that attitudes around sexuality have changed dramatically over the past several decades and since authorial intent is only up to speculation, the story is open to multiple readings, some of which might have different significances for different groups of people also they kiss on the lips because I said so”

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Oh just me re-reading my absolute favorite fic again :)

It Would Be An Honor

Sihtric/Reader/Uhtred

Explicit, threesome, otherwise known as a sandwich fic or the devil’s three-way. Established Sihtric/Reader invite Uhtred into their bed; they both so totally want to be topped by him. Plenty of Uhtred/Reader and even some Uhtred/Sihtric action.

Note: this might be just a little bit absurd, but just go with it and enjoy the fantasy eh? I’m going to tag this for objectification, since I have a kink for the guys talking about me over my head during sex. But all of this is quite caring and consent-driven.

Uhtred is the first one to give voice to it. “Perhaps I need to have a taste of her,” he teases Sihtric, at the bottom of his third cup of ale. “I have never given permission for an oathman to marry before. How am I supposed to decide?” You’re not sure how to take the glimmer in the eye of your beloved’s lord as he regards you from across the table.

Sihtric’s face goes deadly serious. You can see that Uhtred is already readying an apology for the poor joke, but Sihtric doesn’t say what he’s expecting. “My Lord, that would be an honor.”

Uhtred’s eyes pop. Sihtric starts stammering, attempting to take the words back. Uhtred just laughs. “What was that, Sihtric? No, no,” he chuckles, taking another sip of his ale, “finish what it was that you were saying.”

Sihtric looks to you, his fingers winding between your own. You give him an encouraging squeeze.

“If you wished… if you wished to come share our bed, Lord, you are welcome. It would be an honor, truly.”

“An honor?” Uhtred is not done grinning, watching Sihtric squirm. He leans closer. “An honor to see my hands on your woman, Sihtric?”

Sihtric exhales softly, and you can hear the slight groan underneath. He nods.

Uhtred’s fringed eyes capture yours. “And you want this too?” His gaze is deep, and you realize now he’s taking the idea as seriously as Sihtric.

Keep reading

#sihtric/reader #uhtred/reader #uhtred/sihtric #the last kingdom fanfic #tlk fanfiction