precurehoroscopes

[precurehoroscopes]

Horoscope: The first step is admitting you have a problem.  The second step is throwing a large rock at the person who said you had a problem. The third step is going back to pretending you don’t have a problem.

Bunbee is about to experience round two of the second step in the back there- modified for the holiday, of course. 

Happy Easter! Or if you don’t celebrate, happy Pastel Lolita Appreciation Day! 

[precurehoroscopes]

Horoscope: The first step is admitting you have a problem.  The second step is throwing a large rock at the person who said you had a problem. The third step is going back to pretending you don't have a problem.

Bunbee is about to experience round two of the second step in the back there- modified for the holiday, of course. 

Happy Easter! Or if you don’t celebrate, happy Pastel Lolita Appreciation Day! 

#precure #pretty cure #Yes! PreCure 5 #Yes! Precure 5 GoGo! #yes precure 5 gogo #yes precure 5 #yes precure #Cure Lemonade #urara kasugano #kasugano urara #precure urara #precure lemonade #pisces #pisces meme #precure meme

[precurehoroscopes]

Horoscope: That high school experiment where you had to take care of an egg for a week like it was your baby will prove nightmarishly prophetic.

There was a reason Saki looked after Foop and Moop despite Mai making more sense all around. 

Happy Easter weekend! Or happy ‘it’s finally starting to feel like spring’ weekend! Whichever! 

#precure #pretty cure #futari wa pretty cure splash star #Pretty Cure Splash Star #precure splash star #splash star #cure egret #mai mishou #mishou mai #precure mai #precure egret #scorpio #scoprio meme

[precurehoroscopes]

Horoscope: Lie to yourself all you want- you know your house isn’t properly childproofed. Those black-eyed children just keep getting back IN somehow.

Thank you to @precuredaily for the cap. 

#precure #pretty cure #Yes! PreCure 5 #yes precure 5 gogo #yes precure 5 #yes! precure 5 gogo #yes precure #scorpio #pisces #scorpio meme #pisces meme #astrology meme #precure memes #precure coco #prince coco #coco fairy #precure nuts #prince nuts #nuts fairy #dual horoscope

[precurehoroscopes]

You finally have the personal and professional success you craved, but your sibling is still going to drag your ass in Monopoly, so what’s the point? 

Julio is the undefeated champion of tabletop games, and Ciel now has new empathy for Julio’s feelings of furious mute inadequacy. 

#precure #pretty cure #kirakira precure #kirakira precure a la mode #kirakira pretty cure a la mode #kirakira pretty cure #kirakira #Cure Parfait #Cure Waffle #everyone calls him Cure Waffle but in my head he's always Tuxedo Waffle #tuxedo waffle #precure julio #kirahoshi ciel #ciel kirahoshi #precure ciel #kuroki rio #kuroki julio #Pikario #precure pikario #precure kirarin #kirarin #leo #dual horoscope

[precurehoroscopes]

Horoscope: Sometimes in life, you have to put your fear aside and stand up for what you believe in. Thankfully for you, this isn't one of those times.

This is the time you ask yourself- how up to date am I on my standard inoculations?

#precure #pretty cure #suite pretty cure #suite precure #cure beat #erin kurokawa #Kurokawa Ellen #ellen kurokawa #precure ellen #kurokawa erin #eren #seiren #precure seiren #precure beat #scorpio #scorpio meme #erin #ellen #precure erin #precure eren

[precurehoroscopes]

Horoscope: That high school experiment where you had to take care of an egg for a week like it was your baby will prove nightmarishly prophetic.

Here’s hoping she doesn’t try to give her a bath. 

#Chiffon will be fine she's got the OG single dad Fairy looking out for her #TARTE is the one you should be worried for #precure #pretty cure #Fresh Precure #cure berry #Miki Aono #Aono Miki #precure miki #precure berry #capricorn #capricorn meme #horoscope meme #astrology meme #zodiac meme #precure meme

[precurehoroscopes]

Horoscope: The stars wouldn’t take the risks you do, but, hey, it’s your life for the next six months or so.

Felice isn’t my favorite but MAN that girl can beat wholesale ass. And, like my complicated feelings with Mana, it’s hard to completely hate a girl who’d just punch a dragon. 

See you all on monday! 

#precure #pretty cure #mahoutsukai precure #maho girls precure #witchy precure #mahou tsukai precure #pisces #cure felice #precure felice #ha-chan #precure haa-chan #haa-chan #Hanami Kotoha #kotoha hanami #precure kotoha #pisces meme #precure meme

[precurehoroscopes]

Horoscope: Exciting changes await you in the coming days as Evolution decides you’ve been getting a little TOO comfy in your unique evolutionary niche.

Laura is pure evil and she’s not even trying to hide it. I haven’t seen this level of pure big-bitch debochin energy since Milk Prime. 

To be clear, this is a VERY VERY GOOD THING. 

See you all on friday! 

#precure #pretty cure #Yes! PreCure 5 #tropical rouge precure #yes! precure 5 gogo #yes precure 5 gogo #yes precure 5 #yes precure #Milky Rose #kurumi mimino #mimino kurumi #precure kurumi #Precure Milky Rose #precure milk #milk fairy #taurus #taurus meme #horoscope #horoscope meme #astrology meme #zodiac meme #precure laura #please god let her be cure 69

[precurehoroscopes]

Horoscope: Your recent mishap with a bottle of vodka, a 50-gallon drum of turpentine, a Zippo, and a busload of orphans will inspire a very special episode of Baywatch.

I, for one, welcome our new overlords. 

The birthday of August 1st was taken from one of the precure wikis, so I assume it’s official. Subject to change if the show says otherwise, obviously, but for now the birthday list has been updated! 

See you all wednesday and remember to watch this one on Crunchyroll! It’s good for the series. 

#precure #pretty cure #tropical rouge precure #tropical rouge #Cure Summer #natsuumi manatsu #Manatsu Natsuumi #precure manatsu #precure summer #leo #leo meme #precure meme

[precurehoroscopes]

Small announcements:

I am not dead. I needed a vacation so I took one.

New ‘scopes will be made sunday, but I am going to be switching to a M-W-F schedule. I seem to burn myself out after making 3 in a row and that’s not good for anyone. If I’m inspired that week you might get one on the weekend.

If you don’t like the lack of ‘scopes, feel free to send me suggestions- they can be a screenshot, a joke horoscope, or both! I might not see the right away, but I promise I will put them up eventually.

Someone asked about Miyuki’s birthday. All (highly innacurate) birth dates I use are in a link in the blogs intro. If you want the OFFICIAL birthdays, Google and various fan wikis are happy to assist you. I guessed on some, and moved others around so there weren’t like 20 birthdays in April. Seriously- it was like every Pink was born in April.

And yes, the bread Erika was holding IS from SSSS gridman. Well done!

#not a horoscope

[precurehoroscopes]

Horoscope: The little voice inside your head will be powerless to stop the barrage of Q-tips this week.

Finally, she had managed to get that song out of her head. 

#precure #pretty cure #Go! Princess Precure #Go Princess Precure #go princess #princess precure #cure mermaid #kaido minami #minami kaido #precure minami #precure mermaid #cancer #cancer zodiac #cancer meme #precure meme #horoscope #horoscope meme #astrology meme #zodiac meme

[precurehoroscopes]

Horoscope: All signs point to shame.

Where’s the nun with the bell when you need her. 

#precure #pretty cure #Futari wa Pretty Cure #futari wa pretty cure max heart #max heart #FW precure #cure white #Yukishiro Honoka #honoka yukishiro #precure honoka #aries #aries meme #precure meme #precure white #astrology #horoscope #zodiac #white cure #blue cure

[precurehoroscopes]

Horoscope: One day you’ll buy the underwear you will die in. Go love somebody.

If she’s taking it as encouragement, so should you. 

#if most serial killers can get married SO CAN YOU #It you want to no pressure #precure #pretty cure #Healin' Good Precure #healing good precure #cure sparkle #hiramitsu hinata #hinata hiramitsu #precure hinata #precure sparkle #libra #libra meme #horoscope #horoscope meme #astrology #astrology meme #zodiac #zodiac meme #yellow cure

[precurehoroscopes]

Horoscope: The stars want to encourage you in your core beliefs, specifically your saying of: “If you can’t handle me at my worst (crying in the shower), you don’t deserve me at my best (crying in the shower while eating cake).”

The only version of ‘Cooking by the Book’ Hime has heard is the one with Lil’ Jon in it. It got awkward when Megumi and Yuko first brought it up.  Iona sang along with Hime. 

#honestly it's the only one I've heard #precure #pretty cure #happiness charge precure #HaChaPre #hacha precure #cure princess #Hime Shirayuki #Shirayuki hime #Himelda Window Cure Queen of the Blue Sky #precure hime #precure princess #Aquarius #aquarius meme #horoscope meme #precure meme #astrology meme #zodiac meme

[precurehoroscopes]

Horoscope: Much like the little mermaid, you will sell your soul to a dark power for the chance to become human. Unlike the little mermaid, however, you’re selling yours to get a shamrock shake.

So the magical wish-granting rock that made Mofurun human thought that humans had fluffy bear tails and ears. It’s either not sure what a human is or not that all-powerful. 

#precure #pretty cure #mahoutsukai precure #witchy precure #maho girls precure #mahou tsukai precure #great another tag for this series #precure mofurun #mofurun asahina #asahina mofurn #cure mofurun #precure human mofurun #I wrote this #gemini #gemini meme #horoscope meme #astrology meme

[precurehoroscopes]

Horoscope: Conflicts at work and at home are cleared up instantly this week when you decide that all women are basically just crazy bitches.

You, most of all. 

#the stars do not condone the views expressed in 99.95% of these joke horoscopes. #precure #pretty cure #Yes! PreCure 5 #yes! precure 5 gogo #yes precure 5 gogo #yes precure 5 #yes precure #cure aqua #karen minazuki #minazuki karen #precure karen #precure aqua #sagittarius #sagittarius meme #horoscope meme #zodiac meme