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she commit acts of intercourse on my erogeneous zones until i achieve sexual climax

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Creepy Willie (one of my old teachers' band)

and Spurcat (a friend's band)

It’s extremely easy to get me into new music. Recommend me a song or two from your friends’ band. Hold on. How many of you know a band

Ok. Now post a link for me

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There’s still debate about split attraction on my dash why do you people even care

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Elementary!Sherlock is superior because when he was angry and had to make several phone calls he dug out a rotary phone from his storage closet to be able to hang up on people with more emphasis

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Y'all, the world is sleeping on what NASA just pulled off with Voyager 1

The probe has been sending gibberish science data back to Earth, and scientists feared it was just the probe finally dying. You know, after working for 50 GODDAMN YEARS and LEAVING THE GODDAMN SOLAR SYSTEM and STILL CHURNING OUT GODDAMN DATA.

So they analyzed the gibberish and realized that in it was a total readout of EVERYTHING ON THE PROBE. Data, the programming, hardware specs and status, everything. They realized that one of the chips was malfunctioning.

So what do you do when your probe is 22 Billion km away and needs a fix? Why, you just REPROGRAM THAT ENTIRE GODDAMN THING. Told it to avoid the bad chip, store the data elsewhere.

Sent the new code on April 18th. Got a response on April 20th - yeah, it's so far away that it took that long just to transmit.

And the probe is working again.

From a programmer's perspective, that may be the most fucking impressive thing I have ever heard.

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The key shortcut of "windows key" and "." held together has changed my life

like

emoji access? supremely powerful 🙂💖

But

Kaomoji ?

The year is 2013 and I am unstoppable ヾ(•ω•`)o o(*￣▽￣*)ブo(*°▽°*)o

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BECAUSE I AM BEING PERSECUTED

PLEASE REBLOG FOR VIZ

#i break it bc my pot is small and pots are expensive

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arcana memes

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His ass was NOT going over case files and reorganising the safe.

His ass was NOT doing a diagnostic test on the security cameras.

His ass was NOT moving a desk.

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Heres the thing you gotta understand about statistics. 

“Increases your chances by 80%” does not mean “there is now an 80% chance”. 

If your chances were previously 10%, your chances are now 18%, not 90%. 

if your chances were roughly 1%, they’re now just slightly less than 2%. 

thats how that works. 

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a stud in black leather on a black motorcycle just revved their engine at me and thank god I tore my demonic uterus out ages ago because I think that would have finally knocked me up

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IM SO SICK OF YOU ALL

No nuance allowed. please share for a bigger sample 💕💕💕💕💕

*by eat i mean how do you prefer your cereal.

#i used to eat it with warm milk when i was a kid bc my tonsils were suicidal and didn't support cold drinks #i've been eating it with cold milk since i got my tonsils removed

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A moment for a petty complaint:

When people are explaining how to weave in ends, in a tutorial or any video, and they say to "just follow the path of the yarn" or "double the stitches" and then proceed to do THIS

That's a valid way to weave in your ends, assuming your yarn is wooly enough to not slip and it won't be super visible, but that's simply not what you've described.

THIS is following the path of the yarn. It is also the superior way to weave in ends securely and least-visibly from both sides.