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youre an olympic level hater. i respect it.

they asked me to represent my country in the sport of hating i said no. i hate my country

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you should be allowed to explode into several hundred pounds of viscera bone soft tissue fluids and aerosolized blood exactly once and go back to normal without any medical consequences. either to make a funny joke or to emphasize that someone is doing a really good or bad job at performing oral sex on you

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New fear unlocked for Masterchef contestants:

When the Chocolate Guy (Amaury Guichon) sets the challenge!

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I often think about that post that was a fake dating profile for a cat that was all about chickens, like wanting someone with posable thumbs for opening chickens.

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I'm just saying, if there's a curse that runs along your family line and you don't tell your kids about it, how the hell are they supposed to go on a quest to stop it?

#my mom not telling me there’s a family history of anxiety till like a year after I was hospitalized. for anxiety.

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So that’s how my morning is going.

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felicity jones as catherine morland in northanger abbey (2007) no one who had ever seen catherine morland in her infancy would have supposed her born to be a heroine.

#ma’am #felicity jones

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I have been saving this since last year. Happy Earth Day everyone.

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yoda

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op how DARE you hide your semi erect cock in your jean shorts

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#yea

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@lotr20 | Day 5 → loss | sacrifice | despair

#sob #lotr