finally made that patreon page ya’ll been on about
that’s fair. i did make a real one though
I will throw you into the dashcon ball pit.
😂😂😂😂😂😂ok ok. i’m a horrible being and ya’ll have been good sports. if you enjoyed this and my other
extremely aggravatinghandcrafted shitpostery, consider checking out my patreon? There aren’t any tiers or exclusive content, but i will be taking requests & suggestions down the line. also might put together a raffle and/or d&d game for the first [x] patrons to sign on.
boost this please
I didn’t even click the link but I already know you rick rolled them
i swear it’s not a rick roll
*PINK ELDRITCH CACKLING*
WELCOME TO BIGGEST-GAUDIEST-PATRONUSES.HELL! THERE IS NOTHING NOBLE HERE! PICK A GOD & HOLD IT ACCOUNTABLE! WE SOW OUR SEEDS IN A BARREN LAND! FOLLOW TO SUFFER. UNFOLLOW TO TEMPT A PERNICIOUS FATE. SUPPORT ON PATREON FOR NO DISCERNABLE RETURN ON INVESTMENT:
- $1 tier patrons get: I WILL SEEP INTO YOUR NIGHTMARES
- $3 tier patrons get: I WILL HANG FROM THE CEILING AND WATCH YOU SLEEP. THERE WILL BE DRIPPAGE
- $5 tier patrons get: THE FULL ON SLEEP PARALYSIS EXPERIENCE.
- I sit by your bed. I grin at you. My eyes are so red. So tiny. They glitter in the dark. I widen my smile. You cannot move. My fingers are inexplicably long.
I SHALL CRAWL THROUGH YOUR AIR VENTS, RATTLE YOUR WALLS, REPLACE YOUR CAT, HAUNT YOUR FRIDGE, CLOG YOUR DRAIN PIPES, AND USE YOUR RAIN GUTTERS AS A SLIP N SLIDE. NONE OF THOSE ARE PATREON REWARDS, THEY WILL JUST HAPPEN REGARDLESS. THE ONLY TRUE STRIPTEASE INVOLVES REMOVING THE SKIN. THAT’S A MENTAL IMAGE YOU HAVE NOW EXPERIENCED. YOU CAN UNFOLLOW BUT YOU CAN NEVER UNSEE. THE ACTUAL LINK IS www.patreon.com/gaud YOU POOR MISTREATED LUGNUTS. HERE IS AN APPLE IN THE SHAPE OF A TOOTH HAVE A TERRIBLE DAY
This is it. The worst post on tumblr.
This happened months ago but coworker recently reminded me about it.
Little background: I have very thick curly hair, and as should be obvious, I do not brush my hair when it’s dry. That is not a thing you do when you have wavy or curly hair unless you want your hair to look like a bush, but people don’t seem to get it.