ramblingsofnobody

[ramblingsofnobody]

"Can I call you" not so fast, first you must answer my riddles three (could this have been a text, what do you want, how long will this take).

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The Beast that Bothers

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hey. don’t cry. crush four cloves of garlic into a pot with a dollop of olive oil and stir until golden then add one can of crushed tomatoes a bit of balsamic vinegar half a tablespoon of brown sugar and stir for a few minutes adding a handful of fresh spinach until wilted and mix in half a cup of grated parmesan cheese and pasta of your choice ok?

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It's so funny to me that it's possible to have verbal misunderstandings with animals.

This morning I made Ripley (a parrot) a foraging toy, as I often do before I leave for work, by putting a bunch of paper shreds in an old tea box with some peanuts and dried cherries. He hadn't touched it by the time I came home so when he was wandering around the living room restlessly looking for something to do I picked up the box and told him "hey, there's a peanut in here. You can get it out" and then I went back to my office.

After a couple minutes, he walked through the kitchen to where I was sitting at my desk and looked up at me and whispered "I get peanut?"

I said, "Buddy. I think you misunderstood me. The peanut is still in the box."

He tapped his beak on the floor, said "oh" in a really disappointed tone, and then helpfully suggested, "I step up get a peanut?"

[ramblingsofnobody]

Pages from compbook. Once I decided to keep everything in one notebook I found a partner and participant in keeping the words and pictures and ephemera that are part of day to day life. That feeling I have about wanting to write something or draw something or make notes about something or glue something down— my composition notebook holds all of it. It’s a place. A time and space. https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp1PP9mOuiM/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.

I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.

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The orange kitty presented...

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marine biology is so scary because it’s such a small field. i was giving a talk on cetaceans and afterward a woman approached me with her husband and she said, “you did very well. [husband’s name] actually pioneered the research and published the first paper on that. We were very impressed by you.”

Which is such a scientific interpretation/public education win I will cherish forever but also for the rest of my life any time I give a talk I will be haunted by the knowledge that the world’s leading expert who literally discovered/invented the topic might be in the room,

which is like, the opposite of what you’re supposed to do for stage fright. In fact I never used to experience stage fright but now I will.

[ramblingsofnobody]

It's so funny to me that it's possible to have verbal misunderstandings with animals.

This morning I made Ripley (a parrot) a foraging toy, as I often do before I leave for work, by putting a bunch of paper shreds in an old tea box with some peanuts and dried cherries. He hadn't touched it by the time I came home so when he was wandering around the living room restlessly looking for something to do I picked up the box and told him "hey, there's a peanut in here. You can get it out" and then I went back to my office.

After a couple minutes, he walked through the kitchen to where I was sitting at my desk and looked up at me and whispered "I get peanut?"

I said, "Buddy. I think you misunderstood me. The peanut is still in the box."

He tapped his beak on the floor, said "oh" in a really disappointed tone, and then helpfully suggested, "I step up get a peanut?"

[ramblingsofnobody]

Worship.

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The exception is cheesy local commercials. Those should be the only ads. I will listen to someone who runs a store in my city doing an awkward rap. We once had a furniture store with these awful CGI ads and the slogan "where the deals are so low, it's almost criminal!" and then they got shut down, by the cops, because it turned out. It turned out the deals were so low because. You're not going to believe this but the prices were so low it was in fact

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I cannot put into words how much like horseshit she looked in this moment

I would say I hope this teaches her a lesson but it definitely will not. None of the other chocolate things she's eaten has taught her

[ramblingsofnobody]

#they're married okay

[ramblingsofnobody]

Every time I see a duck I think to myself that I want to pick up that duck. There is a sort of quality of the duck that makes it feel like the act of picking up the duck would somehow be analogous to those strange videos where people use knives to cleanly cut through multilayered cakes. There would be a sort of accumulative act even without taking permanent possession of the duck. It would rather be more like pulling the lever on some ancient machine which makes a counter increase by one. The duck is the lever. I hope my meaning is clear to you all?

[ramblingsofnobody]

A series of events:

1. I put in an Annual Leave request form almost 3 weeks ago and my boss has not approved it yet

2. I went into my office today and replaced every single writing utensil with crayons in preparation for April Fools Day on Monday

3. Whilst searching for pens to remove, I found my unsigned Annual Leave form in my boss’s drawer

4. I placed my unsigned Annual Leave form in a photo frame and put it on his desk

5. The frame I used was from a photo of his kids that I deemed less important than my Leave form

6. My boss sometimes goes into the office on Saturdays to work

7.

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