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Item: wooden motorcycle for gnomes

#vehicles and mounts #very small ones

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Item: Christmas Tree Cannon

#ranged attack

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Item: Walterberries, a delicious snack that cleans teeth and freshens breath. HOWEVER for every ten berries a creature eats, roll 2d10; if you roll the same number on both dice, the creature is afflicted by an hour of mild One-Who-Knocks-Ism, a condition marked by grouchiness, snarling catchphrases, and a hunger for blue raspberry rock candy. Creatures unfortunate enough to experience multiple hours of the condition are at risk for hair loss, alignment shifting towards Evil, and +1 on Skill Check (Alchemy) for every hour spent.

i stopped the dental technician while he was applying fluoride to ask what the fuck the flavour was supposed to be. And he was like oh I was wondering that too. It says it's walterberry.

#food and drink #plants #if you find a Walterberry bush at least

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Item: Stilt Stalker Heroic Battle Stilts; while worn, they allow Good-aligned creatures to double their height. Evil and Neutral creatures can put them on but will immediately fall on their face every time, regardless of Dex save.

Stilt Stalkers - Masters of the Universe (Mattel)

#uhhh #vehicles and mounts

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Now available as a sticker or magnet (or tee shirt or coffee mug or whatever)

Item: apparatus allowing a horse to fire a gun

#capitalism

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Item: Tower of Bro-Ing Out, a small prefab multilevel tower in which two bros can lock themselves to bro out without being disturbed or observed. The lights on top indicate whether or not the Tower is in use. In an emergency the gas canisters at the bottom can be activated to rocket the Tower to a new location.

#furniture

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Item: 10,000 poison Ivy berries

#uhhh

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Item: Blade of the Bootcher, a huge blade capable of slicing ghosts into delicious ghost-meat

The Bootcher! Slicer of spiritual sashimi, the Bootcher! Able to size-up the ethereal realm and render them into ribeye, this morbid meat maker can mulch the morose into filling fillets! The tragedy being that once you are broken down as a ghost, it's all over.

#weapons #melee

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Item: wears like denim, protects like Stoneskin

Levi’s

#armor #legs slot

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Item: Ring of Level Checking; the wearer may place their hand on any surface to determine what angle it sits at, or on a creature to determine what level it is.

#have I really not posted this already? #divination #finger slot

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Item: Purse Rat, a small metal rat that compulsively seek out coins to fill themselves, returning to their attuned master once full.

I want the rat coin purse

#creatures #tools and equipment #for thieves

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Item: incredibly delicate handbag for collecting stardust

The Air Swipe bag @ Coperni fw24

Made of NASA's nanomaterial silica aerogel, the lightest solid on planet Earth, the Air Swipe bag is made of 99% pure nothing and 1% glass, the glass of the future. This very delicate (and non-fragile) nanomaterial has been used by NASA to capture stardust: because it can withstand extreme heat (12000 Celsius) and a pressure of 4000 times its weight.

#tools and equipment

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Item: Cacophonic Conch, an evil-looking conch shell that, when blown into by a non-demonic creature, disrupts the powers of Fiends. It is unknown if there is an actual conch snail that grows the shell naturally or if the shell comes from a normal conch snail and is then somehow turned into one of these.

#musical instruments #sonic the hedgehog items

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Item: Tunic of Spookiness

(source)

#clothing

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Item: Gatorade Sports Broth

#food and drink #healing

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Item: Abacus Harmonic Generator

ABACUSYNTH by ELIAS JARZOMBEK [2022]

Abacusynth is a synthesizer inspired by an abacus, the ancient counting tool used all around the world. Just like an abacus is used to learn the fundamentals of math, the Abacusynth can be used to explore the building blocks of audio synthesis.

#musical instruments

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So I had a few hundred more April Fool Trick Or Treat posts queued up but apparently there's a post limit (maybe around 200 per day?) and if you go over it Tumblr just deletes everything you try to post, rather than saying "hey you're at the post limit"

#the mod speaks