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maybe i should make this account to be about both varioriented & varilean issues...I mean since i have realized im varilean & not varioriented...idk

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you can have romance without sex and sex without romance

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sex and romance are neutral things, actually

sex =/= bad romance =/= good

and, by proxy, aroallo =/= bad alloace =/= good

they are both neutral things with different connotations for different people you can find sex repulsive, but it doesn't mean sex is a bad thing you can find romance favorable, but it doesn't mean romance is a good thing

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alloace culture is feeling nervous about being the subject of someone else's romantic attraction because you know there's a high chance sexual attraction comes with it :(

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Pride Flag Swirly Thingies - Part One

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Just a periodic reminder that you don't have to be ace to be aro, and you don't have to be aro to be ace. Many of us are one but not the other.

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Liking someone based on physical (sexual, aesthetic, sensual) attraction and not emotional (romantic, queerplatonic, alterous, platonic) attraction does not make you inherently worse.

Liking someone based on emotional attraction and not physical attraction does not make you inherently better.

Attractions are neutral.

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big reminder to my alloaro, alloace, and aroace folks out there that you do not need to “make up” for your lack of romantic/+sexual attraction at all and you are more than enough as you are

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Sims recognizing asexuals, aromantics, and split attraction peeps, and implementing a system to make these identies (among many others) officially recognized in game? Yes please.

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I hate that most people don't say "ace and aro are different identities" to mean "being ace and being aro have different meanings and cultural experiences that can exist completely separate from one another" but instead say it to mean "haha I'm ace but I'm still normal, I still feel love lol I'm human not heartless :3"

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To the aro lesbians: youre not feeding the stereotype or sexualizing lesbians. Its not your job to desexualize lesbians. You deserve the world and more 💚

To the aro gay men: youre not feeding the predatory gay stereotype. Its not your job to end the belief that gay men are predatorial 💚

To the aro bi and pansexuals: youre not emotionally manipulative or abusive for being aromantic. Its not your job to end the belief that bisexuals and pansexuals are sex hungry and emotionally null. Youre deeply emotional and complicated and no one can take that from you 💚

To the aro heterosexual men: youre not inherently mysoginistic or a "fuckboy" for not being interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with a woman youre sexually attracted to. Its not your job to single handedly tackle the belief that men who like to have sex with women but not engage in a romantic relationship with them are predatory misogynists. You identity is not problematic because it overlaps with these negative stereotypes 💚

To the aromantic heterosexual women: Your aromanticism is not an obstacle for men to hurdle and "defeat". You are not a prize to be won 💚

To the aromantic asexual people: you're aromanticism/asexuality does not make you a waste. Your companionship is no less valuable than that of alloromantic allosexuals 💚

To the aromantic people who feel broken: you're not, aromanticism isnt the character flaw that media makes it out to be. It is a valid identity, not a quirk or mistake. Its an identity 💚

To the aromantic minors: youre not immature, you wont "realize when youre older". Aromanticism isnt a childish thing that you grow out of as you mature. Your identity is just as valid NOW as it will be in twenty years. Just because people get up in arms about a-spec identities in minors doesnt make you any less aromantic. 💚

To the aromantic abuse survivors: whether your aromanticism is related to your trauma or not does not invalidate it. Whether youre aromantic because or despite your trauma youre still aromantic and no less than those who arent survivors 💚

To the romance repulsed aromantics: its okay. YOURE okay. Romance being shoved down your throat every way you turn is hard, and people ignoring your feelings about it hurts but youre just as valid as those who dont experience it. You deserve to be as comfortable as everyone else 💚

To the autistic aromantics: your autism doesnt discount your aromanticism whether theyre closely entwined or not. You deserve better than allistics policing your identity and how it interacts with your autism 💚

To the popular aromantics: its not a competition as to who can be .~*the one*~. to "fix" you no matter how much it may feel that way. You are so much more than a challenge for people to overcome 💚

To all aromantic people regardless of all else: i love you. I promise you'll get through this 💚

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The Split Attraction Model/SAM is NOT bad or evil! [kind of a rant]

I understand that the SAM can be bad for people who are really confused about their sexuality or are dealing with compulsory heterosexuality. However, compulsory heterosexuality was’t caused be the SAM, and it can exist without the SAM. You can’t call the SAM bad because it doesn’t work for everyone. It’s not MEANT to work for everyone. Obviously, it’s bad to force it on someone, but in and of itself it’s not bad. It has helped many people, including me, figure out who they are in a world that thinks sexual and romantic attractions always have to match.

The SAM is not for everyone. No one should be pressured to use it or not. To use it is a personal choice. It is NOT bad when used by someone who wants to use it.

If someone uses the SAM but isn’t aspec (ex. biromantic homosexual), it isn’t always because of compulsory heterosexuality. Some people actually have romantic and sexual orientations that don’t match, both aspec and non aspec.

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If you don’t believe being asexual has any negative affect on people I was told by a psychiatrist that none of my relationships count because we didn’t have sex, and I can’t say I’m gay since I don’t want to have sex with girls.

and I was taken off my antidepressants because they may be lowering the libido I never had in the first place (plus various other reasons, but still immediately, cold turkey, which should NEVER happen unless they’re switching you to something else)

But aphobia doesn’t exist and asexuals are privileged, right?

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A shoutout to people whose romantic and sexual orientations don’t match*:

You’re valid and loved and I support you. You’re not just broken, confused, attention-seeking, trying to be special, a whore, leading someone on, afraid of commitment, or anything else that others might throw at us. 💖❤🧡💛💚💙💜

*also described as people who use the split attraction model (SAM). some examples: biromantic homosexual, homoromantic hetereosexual, aromantic heterosexual, polyromantic pansexual **this post includes trans, nb, and aspec people. terfs and exclusionists, leave this post alone. ***this is a positivity post, please no hateful or rude comments.

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AroAllo + Bees/Flowers Moodboard!

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MLM + Asexual Flag Mix