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ravens-words · 3 days

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sorry i'm just thinking about the whole circumstances of the shooting again and how absolutely batshit insane that was???????? like. first they had carla observe eddie and ana and insinuate ana wasn't what eddie wanted as she told him, 'just make sure you're following your heart, not christopher's.' and had eddie's face go on a Journey. then 20 minutes later, eddie gets shot in broad daylight and it was filmed Like That with everything slowing down and going completely silent as he and buck stared at each other and buck is covered in eddie's blood and eddie is falling and buck is shoved to the ground by mehta and eddie is dying but one of the last things he does before he falls unconscious is look at buck one more time and reach out for him and then buck rOLLS UNDER A FIRETRUCK in the middle of active fire to get to him and pull him to safety and when they're in the ambulance he's telling eddie over and over again that it's okay, that he's got him, that they're so close to the hospital, he just needs to hang on, and for the .5 seconds eddie is awake he sees the blood on buck's face and ASKS IF HE'S HURT?!!?!?!?!? because he's more concerned about buck than himself????????? and then buck has to go tell chris what happened and he breaks down sobbing when he finds out eddie made it out of surgery because he cannot fathom the idea that he nearly lost him and he takes care of chris while eddie's in hospital without having to be asked and in the brief interlude where taylor kisses him and runs away buck runs to eddie instead of running after taylor and then he Tells eddie that he lost it when he told chris what happened and that it would be better if he was the one who got shot and eddie sits him down and says he changed his will A YEAR AGO after the well so that buck would be chris' legal guardian if he died because no one would ever fight for chris the way buck would (not even his biological family) and then he calls buck evan and tells him he's not expendable and ALL OF THIS HAPPENS and they never talk about it again!!!! until 6x12 where eddie says he remembers getting shot and thinking he was about to die and then nothing else until he woke up in the hospital as if the memory of the whole ordeal isn't probably seared into buck's brain and i'm just??????????? what the fuck was that guys

#HOLY SHIT IS THIS REAL LIFE? IS BUDDIE ACTUALLY A POSSIBILITY?#buddie

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ravens-words · 3 days

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If you’ve been here since the shooting we should be compensated for our emotional distress and unnecessary exposure to a whole season of bucktaylor

#been here since they gave us the elf shout out #we do deserve a buddie happy ending after all the suffering #buddie

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ravens-words · 5 days

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AO3 Comments are SO SO SOOOOOOO important because you can only leave Kudos ONCE. You add to the hit count ONCE (every 24 hours).

So whenever someone updates their fic, the ONLY way an author knows who their regular readers are is if they comment on each chapter. And we WANT to know who's still reading.

Believe it or not, some of us think about the name that pops up constantly in the comments and go "omg I can't wait to see what they think of THIS SPECIFIC SCENE cuz I KNOW they'll say something about it!!!"

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ravens-words · 19 days

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heart is yours (AO3)

In which Tommy and Buck break up, and Buck and Eddie are oblivious idiots in love.

"So," Tommy drawled out, closing the door to the loft behind him.

Buck stopped by the dining table, looked back at him. He seemed more than a little confused at the distance between them.

Tommy didn't blame him.

Usually, at this point of their date night, he'd have Buck pinned against a wall or a door or, on one memorable occasion, the stairs. Not tonight though.

No, tonight he suspects he's only getting some bitter truths and kissing any chance of a relationship with Evan Buckley goodbye.

"Tommy?" Brows furrowed, eyes wide and earnest, Buck hesitantly steps forward towards him. "Hey, what's going on?"

He lets Buck close the distance between them, lets him settle his big hands on his waist, and he closes his eyes when the younger man kisses him- soft, hesitant and a little desperate.

For a few seconds, he contemplates just letting it go. Maybe if he doesn't rock the boat, he'll get to keep him. Maybe he wouldn't lose the first person he could see a future with in a long time. He kisses him back, softly, gently, but then he pulls away.

"Wh-what's going on, Tommy?"

He could ignore what he saw tonight. He could ignore what he'd seen two weeks ago, on the double date with Eddie and Marisol, he could ignore all the little signs and tells he'd chosen not to dwell on before.

He could continue to kiss Buck like there's no tomorrow.

But- Tommy was many things, delusional is not one of them.

Tommy placed his hands on Buck's chest, pushed him away gently. Then-

"We need to talk."

It took all of five minutes for Tommy to realise Evan Buckley had no clue about his own feelings for Eddie.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I don't think I can be in a relationship with you, knowing I'm not your- well, your priority."

Buck huffed in frustration. "What does that even mean, Tommy?"

"Evan, you just cut our date short because Eddie called and asked for help."

"He didn't know I was on a date or he wouldn't have called," he protested.

Tommy stared at him, willing him to realise what he'd just said. All he got in response was a look of indignation; as if Tommy is being unreasonable.

"Would you have cut a night with Eddie and Christopher short if it had been me calling you for help?"

He hesitated. It was for a split second, but it was enough.

"O-of course I would, Tommy! You know I care about you."

"But will I ever measure up?"

"To who?" Buck is full on angry now, face red and breathing hard. He already knew the answer, but Tommy said it out loud anyway.

"To Eddie."

Buck was already shaking his head. "You don't have to. There's no competition here, Tommy."

"But if there was, he'd win, right?"

Buck reeled back, blinking at him. Tommy nodded and turned, hand on the knob.

"Can we please just talk about this?"

"What's there to talk about, Evan? Look, let's not make this into something it's not. We dated, it didn't work out. It's that simple."

Buck's shoulders slumped, and Tommy actually felt bad for how upset the other man looked. He let go of the door handle and walked closer. "Hey," he held his face in his hands, forcing him to look at him, "no hard feelings."

"I really thought I could make this work, Tommy," he admitted, "I really thought I could-"

"I thought so, too, but- Buck, it's not fair. Not to me, not to you, and not to Eddie."

Tommy saw a flash of fear in Buck's blue eyes, before resignation took its place. "Can't we just try? I promise I'll do better."

Tommy pursed his lips before shaking his head. "I can't be your constellation prize."

Buck let out a shaky breath, lips red and soft-looking. Tempting. So, he took a deep breath and smirked- "last one for the road?"

Buck's confusion lasted only for about five seconds, before it was replaced by a hungry look as he licked his lips and leaned in.

Tommy, selfish bastard that he is, took his time. He kissed him; long and hard and deep, then he kissed him again-

"Call me, if things ever change."

Then he forced himself to walk away.

He didn't stop seeing Buck.

No, on the contrary, he was suddenly everywhere.

On calls.

In the gym Tommy went to.

In their fire department events.

It didn't exactly hurt to see him, but he can't say it's exactly fun.

He bumped into Eddie at a bar.

The man was alone, obviously doing his best to drown his sorrows, so Tommy made his way over to him, sitting on the stool beside him.

It took Eddie a solid minute to notice him.

He did a double take, unfocused eyes widening at the sight of Tommy being there and grinned widely. His cheeks were flushed, eyes crinkling at the corners.

He was beautiful like this, and in that moment, Tommy understood Buck all too well.

"Tommy!" Eddie exclaimed, beer sloshing in his bottle as he leaned forward to clumsily wrap an arm around his shoulders. "Haven't seen you in a while."

Tommy snorted. I wonder why, he thought looking at him pointedly.

Eddie didn't notice. "I guess Buck got me in the divorce?"

Tommy almost choked on his drink. He spluttered, staring at the man who acted as if he hadn't said a thing. "He told you, huh?" He choked out.

Eddie shrugged. "Like pulling teeth, but I got it out of him."

"Is that why you're here?"

Eddie seemed confused. Shaking his head, he slumped against the bar. "I'm here because Marisol broke up with me."

Tommy winced. "Why?"

"Apparently, I'm too closed off," he muttered bitterly. "The hell does that even mean?"

"I don't know, man."

Eddie's not done. "It's not like opening up to strangers about my "trauma" is that easy. We've only been dating a couple of months, what did she expect, a full on debrief of every little thing that has happened to me?"

Tommy shook his head. "Of course not-"

"And what the hell is their problem with Buck?!" He exclaimed.

Tommy felt dread settle in the pit of his stomach. He could already tell where this was headed.

"So what if I consult him about things concerning Christopher? So what if he's Christopher's emergency contact- he's mine too! And, yes, he cooks for us and sometimes he spends the night when we stay up too late watching a movie, but don't friends do that?"

"Not any of mine," Tommy muttered.

Eddie looked offended.

"Look, man, I gotta be honest with you, you and Buck- what you guys have goes way beyond friendship. It's not necessarily the things you mentioned but it's all cumulative, you know?"

He seemed adorably confused so Tommy took pity on him. "Let me put it this way; in the future, if you meet someone you love and you marry them and you're happy with them- would you ever change your will so that they'd become Christopher's legal guardian instead of Buck? Would you ever put them as his emergency contact?"

"No." The answer is immediate. No hesitation. He didn't even have to think about it.

Tommy nodded. "Then maybe you need to think about why that is."

The invite to Bobby and Athena's for a barbecue was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. He didn't think he would ever be considered family the way the 118 were, but he figured if anything at least he would have more people in his life he could call friends.

It also meant seeing Buck again, which was also a plus. He knew where they stood, but that didn't mean they couldn't have some fun, provided they're both single and willing.

He's greeted at the door by Athena and Bobby, then by everyone else once he made it out onto the backyard. Chim and Maddie were playing with their daughter, Athena and Bobby standing over by the grill, Hen and Karen were talking in hushed tones, eyes only for each other and then- then there was Buck, Eddie and Christopher. The two men were standing shoulder to shoulder, looking down at the boy like he was the most precious thing in their world. Buck said something that made Christopher laugh, and when Eddie looked at him, he looked so unbelievably besotted by him that it made Tommy ache with want.

Seeing them like this almost made him want to retreat back into the safety of his small apartment, because it's glaringly obviously that Tommy stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Tommy!"

Buck came bounding over, hesitating only briefly before he wrapped his arms around Tommy in a short hug. Eddie materialised at his back only a few seconds later. "Hey, Ev- Buck, how's it going?"

"Good, good. You?"

Tommy just shrugged, looking down.

That was when he noticed it.

They were holding hands.

His head snapped back up. "Are you two-?"

Buck grinned, nodding.

Tommy smiled back, completely happy, but also a little sad. "Good for you."

Eddie looked over to Buck, smiling softly. "It took us a while, and the paperwork was a bitch, but- it all worked out in the end."

"I'm glad it did. I'm happy for you both."

"It was thanks to you, you know," Buck blurted out.

"Yeah," Eddie agreed, "I mean, I'd like to think we would've eventually gotten our heads out of our asses, but- you helped speed up the process."

"By a lot," Buck enthused.

Tommy chuckled, ducking his head. "Glad I could help."

Buck was about to say something but stopped when he spotted something over Tommy's shoulder that had him grinning ear to ear.

"Josh," he called out, "perfect timing." Then he bounded over, leaving him with Eddie.

Eddie, who was avoiding his gaze at all cost.

"What's going on, Eddie?"

"I had nothing to do with it," he blurted out holding his hands up.

"Nothing to do with what?"

"Tommy!" Buck called out as he came bounding over, all but dragging another man behind him. "Tommy, meet Josh, he works at dispatch. Josh, this is Tommy, he's a firefighter."

The other man looked ready to murder Buck, but once he turned to look at Tommy, he was all smiles. Tommy felt a flutter of something as he shook Josh's hand with a smile of his own.

Buck, as subtle as a freight train, grabbed Eddie and dragged him away, calling over his shoulder: "you two talk, we'll be over- there."

"Well, he's subtle," Josh commented, and Tommy laughed.

"So, dispatch, huh..."

Two weeks later, Buck asks him if he's willing to go on a double date.

This one goes a lot better than the last one.

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ravens-words · 20 days