reading-rivers

[reading-rivers]

on being a wlw trapped under the male gaze:

matty healy told me that "sometimes it's bigger than happiness"

though i believe him i ask "is this it?"

i live under his gaze, lost in a crowd

how did my search for silence become so deadiningly loud?

i've developed stockholm syndrome in my time here

his gaze holds me captive, yet i still care how i appear

will i always be searching, or is it true?

is all i am what he wants me to do?

#the 1975 #matty healy #poetry #wlw blog #wlw post #lgbtq #lesbian feminism

[reading-rivers]

a sweet caress

on touch starved skin

i forget all else

what could've been

even breaths

under delicate fingers

even when you leave

the feeling lingers

our eyes meet

if only so fleetingly

you blush and look away

i smile secretly

[reading-rivers]

How cruel that I must feel in equal parts

Why must I hurt as much as I love

[reading-rivers]

can you forgive me for all that i've done?

icarus' sweet call beckons me from the sun

i'm trying to fight but i'm just ready to give in.

i can still taste it on your pretty skin

a subtle reminder of what had almost been

but joy is so fleeting

you end up chasing it to death

i wish i could tell you what you want to hear

i wish i wasn't weak, crippled by fear

of living forever, and never feeling that way again

you wrap me in lullabies till i pretend to believe

you promise forever, my darkest of dreams

i live to evade you and i will make my escape

you love me in abstract but never truly

you wish i was differrent, a figure of movies

you bed me in love songs and i'm nearly undone

but i know my wings will melt if i fly too close to the sun

#poetry #sorry for being depressing #mental illness #heartbreak #icarus and the sun