im glad that people are still enjoying this blog even though i haven't posted in a year
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Viral: If I see one of you fuckers in your late 20s 'uwu' at me again, it's on sight.
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Simon: Sir, are you familiar with Jupiter?
Avant: You mean like the planet?
Simon: Yeah.
Simon: Well it’s that big sir.
Avant: Hmm, that sounds pretty big.
Avant: I have a question
Avant: Is it Jupiter?
Simon: Yes sir, earth is literally under siege by planet fucking Jupiter.
Avant: OH SHIT!
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Viral: Listen, human-
Simon: Please, call me Simon.
Viral: I’d really rather not.
Viral: If I named you, I could get attached.
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Simon, reading a fortune cookie: If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world stays the same.
Viral, with a mouth full of takeout: Kill two.
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Yoko: I eat Cheerios because they're heart-healthy, and my heart has been severely damaged! So, Kamina, if you're out there,
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Simon, holding the Anti-Spiral at gunpoint: Tell me the name of god, you piece of shit.
Anti-Spiral: Can you feel your heart burning? Can you feel the struggle within? The fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. You cannot kill me in a way that matters.
Simon cocking the gun, tears streaming down his face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU
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Dayakka: Come on Kittan. I wasn’t that drunk last night.
Kittan: You were flirting with Kiyoh.
Dayakka: So what? She’s my wife!
Kittan: You asked her if she was single.
Dayakka:
Kittan: And then you cried when she said she wasn’t.
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Kamina: Attention passengers, this is your pilot speaking. We’re going to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. This loser just bet that I couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say I’m gonna be $20 richer real soon.
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Nia: I want to see my little boy!
Simon, holding Boota: Here he comes!
Nia: I want to see my little boy!
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Nia: I’m going to McDonalds do you guys want anything?
Simon: I want my brother back
Nia: Yeah I got like 12 bucks
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Simon: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?
Yoko: Hey Kamina, how tall are you?
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Rossiu: I’m playing a new drinking game. It’s called “Every Time I’m Depressed, I Take a Drink.”
Kinon: That game exists. It’s called alcoholism.
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Rossiu: Well, this has gone completely fucking pear-shaped. There's no other way out of it, you're going to have to decapitate me.
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Lordgenome: 4:00, wallow in self-pity. 4:30, stare into the abyss.
Lordgenome: 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one. 5:30, jazzercise.
Lordgenome: 6:30, dinner with me, can't skip that again...
Lordgenome: 7:00, wrestle with self-loathing.... I'm booked!
Lordgenome: If I bumped loathing to 9:00, I'd have time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slowly slip into madness!
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Kiyal: What are you doing???
Kittan, holding a giant mirror: I am doing my eyebrows.
Kiyal: That's a big ass mirror.
Kittan: I have big ass eyebrows.
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Yoko, on the phone with Kamina: Hello?
Kamina: Hey, what's up?
Yoko: I need your help. Can you come here?
Kamina: I can't. I'm buying clothes.
Yoko: Alright, well hurry up and come over here.
Kamina: I can't find them.
Yoko: What do you mean you can't find them?
Kamina: I can't find them. There's only soup.
Yoko: What do you mean "there's only soup"?
Kamina: It means there's only soup.
Yoko: Well then get out of the soup aisle!
Kamina: Alright, you don't have to shout at me!
Kamina: [moves to the next aisle]
Kamina: There's more soup!
Yoko: What do you mean "there's more soup"?!
Kamina: There's just more soup!
Yoko: Go into the next aisle!
Kamina: [moves to the next aisle]
Kamina: There's still soup!
Yoko: Where are you right now?!
Kamina: I'm at soup!
Yoko: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE "AT SOUP"?!
Kamina: I MEAN I'M AT SOUP!
Yoko: WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?!
Kamina: I'M AT THE SOUP STORE!
Yoko: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!
Kamina: FUCK YOU!!
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