relapsedbrain-yetagain

[relapsedbrain-yetagain]

mood

[relapsedbrain-yetagain]

really strange how you can be almost at peace with something that happened to you but it will continue to be a defining moment of your life for the rest of your life. you wont think about it much anymore but in a conversation about a film someone will mention the year it was released and you’ll think to yourself, “that was before it happened” and you’ll see an old photo and think how strange it is to have existed before it happened and somehow it’s like living a life in two acts

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“gentle” // my art, okay to rb (click for better quality)

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Here i go again, making more people disappointed in me.

i ignore people and push them away cause its how i deal with my pain.

Wish I could keep commitments i set without breaking them. Friend literally said, "yoi do this often" when i fell asleep. This time, it wasn't just asleep. I was crying and then fell asleep.

I sleep to avoid. But why would i avoid my best friend? Why have i been ? Am i spiteful? Idk. But they have messages in my DMs now that im just not opening..

I want to be alone bc im a fuck up. I want to be alone cause i keep making mistakes. With someone who can't handle mistakes rn.

I am the Mistake

#disappointment

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I have bpd, of course I assume everyone is going to abandon me for no reason.

#the reason why i get so upset when i set boundries #they will leave

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Uh oh. Im splitting on the people i love again

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I’m not worth the amount of work that I am

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my mood is dependent on the opinions of people that dont even think about me

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thinking about how different things would have been if it never happened

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“do you want to talk about it?”

no, i want to kill myself because of it.

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borderline personality disorder is known for making it hard for people to manage their emotional reactions. most of us with bpd were punished or shamed as a child for being emotional. our feelings & thoughts were never valid & we never learned how to control our emotions. since we never know what emotions or reactions are correct, we just end up with too much all at once & boil over. we were never able to understand if our feelings were correct in certain situations, which makes things much, MUCH harder.

[relapsedbrain-yetagain]

my favorite conspiracy theory is that they regret what they did to me

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bpd culture is wishing you could switch your emotions off

.

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therapists saying you're surprisingly self aware is like being called a pleasure to have in class for adults

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‘Was I raised without love or was I born unlovable?’

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