riddikuluslypotter - Tumblr blog

riddikuluslypotter · 2 years

Text

Without gravity would balloons just yeet into the sky?

#shower thoughts

7 notes · View notes

riddikuluslypotter · 2 years

Photo

1M notes · View notes

riddikuluslypotter · 3 years

Text

Apparently syphilis can rot your nose off so new theory - Voldemort had syphilis. That's all, you're welcome.

#Harry Potter #Voldemort #hp #Voldemort had syphilis bully him for his morals not his looks

18 notes · View notes

riddikuluslypotter · 3 years

Text

WAKE UP, Y'ALL, LYFT FUCKING SNAPPED.

NPR's article here.

20K notes · View notes

riddikuluslypotter · 3 years

Text

As I was driving home I was playing music through one of those things that connect to a radio station and occasionally swaps with someone else's music if they're on the same channel.

Anyway, to the person that had their pop music interrupted by the line 'you make my balls so blue', I have no regrets.

#heathers #blue #you make my balls so blue #sorry mate

6 notes · View notes

riddikuluslypotter · 3 years

Text

I cannot stress enough how much everyone needs to read this right now. This deserves a Pulitzer.

artistic swimming and the benefits thereof

The Death Eater Synchronized Swimming Squad AU nobody knew they needed. Entirely inspired by @chdarling drunkenly saying that this would be Severus Snape's Olympic sport of choice.

Title: artistic swimming and the benefits thereof Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Becoming a Death Eater, as it turns out, requires a lot more than skill in the Dark Arts. The newest recruits to Voldemort's ranks may have mastered the Cruciatus, but until they've proven themselves adept at artistic swimming, they won't be accepted into his ranks. Severus Snape is determined to be a success. Regulus Black has concerns. Bellatrix Lestrange is not a certified lifeguard.

Becoming a Death Eater was hard work.

Recruits needed to prove their dedication in a number of ways, beginning with the obvious skills (dueling, stealth, curses), all the way down to the not-so-obvious (endurance, lung capacity, core strength).

The artistic swimming lessons had come about as a way of testing the latter. Invitations had been sent to six of the most promising sixth and seventh year Slytherins and the first lesson set for April 8, to be taught at the Great Lake by Bellatrix Lestrange herself. Initially, the recruits had believed it was a joke. It wasn’t until Lucius Malfoy turned up in Hogsmeade and informed them that he’d taken part in the lessons during his own seventh year that any of them began taking it seriously. According to Malfoy, the Dark Lord rewarded those who impressed him with their routines. Supposedly, his Dark Mark had been bestowed after he’d performed a flawless Rio figure during a duet performance with Bellatrix.

So the recruits began preparing in earnest. Severus Snape, Joseph Mulciber, Marcus Avery, Tatiana Yaxley, Evan Rosier, and Regulus Black were determined to be the best damn artistic swimming team that Hogwarts had ever seen.

At least, Severus Snape was determined. On the morning of the first lesson, most of the others were still treating the whole thing like a joke. This didn’t particularly bother Severus; he may not have seen much use in artistic swimming, but if the Dark Lord said it was necessary, he certainly wasn’t about to question it. If the rest of his classmates were content to look foolish, well, that was no different from usual, really.

Besides, he couldn’t help but think of Lily’s apparent newfound fascination with swimmers. Of course, it likely had to do with James Potter’s frequent lake excursions more than the sport itself, but surely this - which required grace, stamina, mental ability - was far more impressive than that flailing Potter called skill. Yes, he thought, Lily would almost certainly be impressed when she heard about his new hobby.

Spirits flying high with this happy thought, he made his way down to the lake.

Continue Reading on AO3

#absolute masterpiece #award winning

89 notes · View notes

riddikuluslypotter · 3 years

Text

The moment she knew

Lily was terrified. The moment she reached the safety of the room realisation of what had just occurred hit her, overwhelming every bit of her body. She crawled under her bed and curled up there, using the dark space to clarify her thoughts.

Snape had betrayed her. He had called her a mudblood, insulted her very existence, sided with her oppressors.

What hurt the most was that she should have seen it coming. The way Severus acted at school, trying to impress his Slytherin friends, she should have seen it. But she didn't want to.

How could she? He had been her first friend in the Wizarding world. He had stuck by her when Petunia didn't, when her own sister made her feel insane.

What have you done, Severus? He'd chosen a path filled with darkness, and after today there was no turning back.

Lily felt more alone than ever before - her best friend was now her enemy, Potter was being arrogant and rubbing it in, and worst of all she'd pushed away everyone in her house while defending Snape.

As she lay in the small space, she became scared to leave. Everyone in Hogwarts would know now - they'd laugh at her, say 'I told you so', maybe they'd even side with Snape in calling her a mudblood.

The door to the dormitory opened, and footsteps signalled the arival of one of her roommates.

'Lils? James told me what happened, I'm so sorry. I just... I just wanted to let you know that I'm here. You know, if you wanted to talk or... stuff.' The voice belonged to Marlene, a fellow Gryffindor that Lily hadn't spoken to much despite them sharing a room. Lily had spent so much time with Snape she'd never made an effort to get to know her roommates.

Lily didn't respond, hoping that the girl would leave her alone, let her wallow in peace. After a few moments of quiet Lily heard movement and thought that perhaps Marlene had decided to go.

Then she heard the sound of someone lying down, and saw a hand reach into the dark towards her. She hesitated for a moment before tentatively grabbing it. The grip on her hand tightened, a sign of reassurance, and Lily finally let herself cry.

She wasn't alone.

#harry potter #lily evans #severus snape #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #i fucking hate snape #lily deserved better #snapes a dick #hp #fanfiction

11 notes · View notes