riddlemepiss

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Bagel and cream cheese themed wedding

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sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

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My words were spoken from a certain "delusional fag" persona I often inhabit.

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finished my taz balance relisten (again) so here's Lup

#this is so cool!! #i think i have to do a relisten its been one million years

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before there were phones people read the bible while driving

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starting tomorrow i will be a real person in this world

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My mans been acting up lately. Should I get pregnant with him and abort the baby as protest?

im at work

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Our inquiry for the pronouns of the most humble man alive was refused, "I haven't done anything that makes me worth talking about in third person"

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(guy who’s about to invent the calculator voice) oh I just KNOW this is gonna do numbers

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[audible sound of teeth grinding] "I will be compassionate and patient in all things."

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HEARTBREAKING: character actually mildly interesting to think about but I Dont like their fans

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open window save me. save me open window

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dirty work by steely Dan give it a listen if you can. Sound of the summer

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So embarrassing but who cares. But so embarrassing but who cares but it’s so embarrassing but also who cares but it really is embarrassing but really who cares BUT it’s so embarrassing though probably nobody cares but it’s embarrassing asf and nobody cares but

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The computer screen hates me, and wants me to suffer. But if I spend a few more hours a day looking at it I can probably change its mind

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Deadbeat older sister