riseabovedefeat

[riseabovedefeat]

[riseabovedefeat]

During 2021 I made several steps forward in progressing my life to the life I want.  I came out to myself (and a select group of friends) as a non binary lesbian.  I left a job I hated and am in the process of a career change to a field I hope I’ll love.  I went back to playing hockey (as a defender instead of a goalie now).  I made new friends.  And I hope 2022 brings more recovery and change into my life.

#road to recovery #sometimes taking a step back helps #coming out #non binary #lesbian #non binary lesbian #career change

[riseabovedefeat]

It's a new year and a new me.  My goal for 2022 is to become a healthier person all around.  To be comfortable in my skin and to be free to be who I am.   

#new year #goal for 2022

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I aggravated my bad wrist (chronic tendinitis) in my hockey game last night and the pain is triggering my ptsd due to how it was originally injured.  Is anyone online to chat?

#could use some support #ptsd #pain

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I hope you heal from things that have been hurting you for so long.

[riseabovedefeat]

Finally, an informational post on genderqueer identity!

(Image description: ten square images with blue, white, and lavender gradient backgrounds; every image has a border across the top and bottom with a thin black line framed by a black diamond on each side and every image also has black text.

1) Large centered text that reads "A Brief Introduction to Genderqueer History and Identity", below that is the instagram handle "@genderqueer.positivity"

2) "Genderqueer is a term that was created in the mid-1990's to cover a wide range of Queer experiences of gender, as well as marginalized gender identities and expressions. In its earliest usage, "gender queer" was a term for those who were Queer specifically because of gender, rather than sexuality."

3) "The earliest usage of "gender queer" comes from the April/May first edition of the zine GenderTrash From Hell, edited by Xanthra Phillippa Mackay." Below this is a quote from page 19 of the zine reading "gender queers & gender outlaws are what we & only we are, since lesbians & gays seem to think that queer means lesbian/gay (& sometimes bi) only".

4) "The terms "gender queer" and "gender trash" would appear in another set of zines two years later, the In Your Face newsletters published by Riki Anne Wilchins. It's unclear if Wilchins drew inspiration from the GenderTrash zines, or if she created these terms independently; however, she claims to have coined the term "genderqueer" and she is the one most commonly credited with creating and defining the term."

5) A quote that reads "I coined the term “genderqueer” back in the 1990s in an effort to glue together two nouns that seemed to me described an excluded and overlooked middle: those of us who were not only queer but were so because we were the kind of gender trash society couldn’t digest." Smaller text below attributes the quote to Riki Wilchins, from an advocate.com article titled "Get to Know the New Pronouns: They, Theirs, and Them"

6) A second quote that reads "It's about all of us who are genderqueer: diesel dykes and stone butches, leatherqueens and radical fairies, nelly fags, crossdressers, intersexed, transexuals, transvestites, transgendered, transgressively gendered, intersexed, and those of us whose gender expressions are so complex they haven't even been named yet." This quote is also attributed to Riki Wilchins and comes from the first edition of a gender activism newsletter called In Your Face, published in Spring 1995.

7) "Today, Genderqueer is both an umbrella term and a specific gender identity label. As an umbrella term, Genderqueer still covers a wide range of Queer experiences of gender. As the basis for a gender identity, Genderqueer can be used as a label by any person who feels that their gender is best described as Queer, or anyone who actively chooses to Queer their own gender identity and/or expression."

8) "Genderqueer is used by some individuals to describe having a gender identity outside of the male/female binary. However, it is also possible to have a binary or binary-aligned gender and be Genderqueer. Genderqueer can be used as a stand-alone label or as one of multiple gender-related labels used by an individual."

9) This slide has text along the bottom that says "This is the Genderqueer pride flag; this version was created by Marilyn Roxie in 2011." Above that is a square image of a Genderqueer pride flag on the left side; the flag has three stripes of the same width: a lavender stripe on top, a white stripe in the center, and a chartreuse green stripe on the bottom. To the right of the flag is text which describes what each color represents. Lavender represents "queerness and androgyny", white represents "gender neutrality and genderlessness", and green represents "genders unrelated to the binary".

10) The last slide has a stock photo in the top/center of the image; in the stock photo a person stands on a staircase with beige walls and a white ceiling in the background, holding a large genderqueer pride flag up to a natural light source which isn't visible in the picture, the person wears khaki pants, but otherwise can't be seen from behind the flag. Below the stock photo is text that reads "Genderqueerness is radically inclusive, deeply personal, fiercely political, and beautiful." After the sentence is the outline of a black heart emoji.)

[riseabovedefeat]

[riseabovedefeat]

This is a reminder to please take care of yourself. Truly. If you need anything at this moment, please take the time to do so. To eat. To bathe. To smile. To love. Always find this time to rest, nourish and regenerate yourself, for you are not only human, but a human that deserves the utmost nurturing and care.

Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin

[riseabovedefeat]

My ask is open 

Please feel free to send me questions on or off anon

#send me questions #anons allowed #anons #come talk to me #ask is open #my ask is open

[riseabovedefeat]

If enough people want to read about my personal struggles I will make a post, but only if people will read it.  Also will someone be online in case it ends up triggering me while I write it?

If you want to read what I have been dealing with especially this past year then like the post, the one I have on my page is years old.

#like this post if #like this post if you want to read my story

[riseabovedefeat]

It’s okay to say no! I say no to social events and work opportunities and personal requests because I don’t have the time or energy, and it’s always been okay. If people don’t accept your boundaries, that’s more about them than it is you.

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Webtoon

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In case you needed to hear this today:

You are not alone.

You are strong.

You are beautiful.

You are worthwhile.

You deserve good things.

You matter.

You are important.

I care.

[riseabovedefeat]

going to try and sleep 

[riseabovedefeat]

getting pretty drunk atm and still want more.  Just want to forget and numb my thoughts.

[riseabovedefeat]

Poem I just wrote, literally just now.

Why is it so hard?

To talk about what goes on in my mind.

Why is it so hard?

To let people in.

Why is it so hard?

To be happy.

I go through life as if something bad will happen.

Always expecting the worst.

Always expecting to be hurt.

Barely trusting anyone.

Expecting to be turned away and left behind.

Every day is a struggle.

Just to get out of the house and be around people.

Physically, emotionally, and mentally draining.

The more I am around people the more tired I become.

Spending my days off alone and napping.

Should be productive but cant find the energy.

Night comes and the anxiety skyrockets.

I feel the air closing in.

Getting trapped.

Cant breathe.

Numbing myself with alcohol.

So i can fall asleep.

And not be plagued by nightmares.

So I can wake up refreshed.

To start another day.

Why is it so hard to be normal?

[riseabovedefeat]

Replying to the other anon ask, your answers are so kind, you are kind and deserve only good things. Negative things are never the fault of the victims or survivors. If there had been anything to prevent it you had done it right? But it happened and it was not your fault and never is.

I could have said no and I didn't....I could have prevented it.

#self hatred #answered ask #anon

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