ritualpurposes

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She’s a 10 but she lives off of academic validation while simultaneously procrastinating like she’s been promised immortality

#oh look its me

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I am not unaware of the negatives of Biden's presidency, and I am not trying to elide or forgive them. I'm reblogging posts about the Biden administration because I think it's really important that potential voters in the US realize that there is, in fact, a very big difference between the two parties, and voting for Biden is not just damage control--it actually does good. It's okay, you can actually feel a little excited about making meaningful progress, and not just hold your nose.

He's been very unflashy. He's not a great leader, he's not charismatic and he knows it, but he's an adroit politician and administrator, and he's been getting things done. Letting Trump win at this point would be tantamount to throwing the entire country on the bonfire. It's not a choice between bad and bad, it's a choice between meaningful, if imperfect, progress and fucking doom.

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100% this.

I'm an archaeologist and everyone thinks that means I can just walk into a museum job. Nope. You need a museum studies MA for that (at minimum). Everything is incredibly specialised these day!

as someone with a bachelor’s degree in english, i am inexpressibly tired of people telling me to get highly specific jobs that often require highly specific degrees. “just go write for a magazine!” you need a journalism degree for that. “just teach!” you need a teaching certificate, and also fuck you. “just go work at a tutoring place!” tutoring children with learning disabilities, which make up the majority of the clientele at those places, requires not only a teaching certificate but a specialized master’s degree. “just go work at a library!” you need a master’s degree in library science to be a librarian. it is actually a highly skilled and extremely competitive field. you don’t just “go work at a library,” you train for years in the vain hope that you will get one of handful of available jobs. “just go work at a library.” the nerve. the unmitigated gall. “just go work at a library.” ugh.

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Over the Garden Wall (2014)

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When I was little my mom’s meatloaf was my favorite food. But ONLY her meatloaf. I didn’t like anyone else’s, and she told me that she would teach me how to make it when I was older. And when I was like 19? She finally taught me, but she told me never to tell anyone else and I was like weird but okay

Anyway, she was super fucking homophobic and abusive to me when I told her I was gay, so here’s the recipe

4-6 lbs of Hamburger/turkey burger

1 pk onion soup mix OR ranch mix

1 TBs ketchup

1 Tbs spicy brown mustard,

1 Tbs bbq sauce

1 Tbs steak sauce

1 egg

mix, shape into a loaf in a big pan, and bake at 350 for 2 hrs (maybe 2 and a half if you’re feeling dangerous)

You can get almost all of these ingredients at the dollar store, and have leftovers if it’s just you. The leftovers make great tacos if (taco seasoning is also like a dollar). Enjoy your revenge loaf

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Fun addition: their skeletons are so similar you normally have to use a complicated mathematical regression on metaphorical measurements to tell them apart (leading to the archaeologically common sheep/goat)

Sheep tail go down goat tail go up that���s all you need to know

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an incomplete list of unsettling short stories I read in textbooks

the scarlet ibis

marigolds

the diamond necklace

the monkey’s paw

the open boat

the lady and the tiger

the minister’s black veil

an occurrence at owl creek bridge

a rose for emily

(I found that one by googling “short story corpse in the house,” first result)

the cask of amontillado

the yellow wallpaper

the most dangerous game

a good man is hard to find

some are well-known, some obscure, some I enjoy as an adult, all made me uncomfortable between the ages of 11-15

add your own weird shit, I wanna be literary and disturbed

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When Everything Everywhere All at Once said “The only thing I do know is that we have to be kind. Please, be kind, especially when we don’t know what’s going on" 

When the Good Place said “Why choose to be good every day when there is no guaranteed reward now or in the afterlife… I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone.” 

When Jean-Paul Sartre said ”‘Hell is other people’ is only one side of the coin. The other side, which no one seems to mention, is also ‘Heaven is each other’. Hell is separateness, uncommunicability, self-centeredness, lust for power, for riches, for fame. Heaven on the other hand is very simple, and very hard: caring about your fellow beings.“

#I needed this reminder today #Sometimes the power of friendship really does prevail

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Fox Mulder Flirting Tactics 101 (tweet)

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Going full byzantine with this piece because what's the locked tomb without drama?

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Darkness falls across the land, the midnight hour is close at hand. Creatures crawl in search of blood, to terrorize y'alls neighborhood. And whosoever shall be found… Without the soul for getting down, Must stand and face the hounds of Hell… And rot inside a corpse’s shell. The foulest stench is in the air, the funk of 40,000 years. And grizzly ghouls from every tomb… Are closing in to seal your doom. And, though, you fight to stay alive, your body starts to shiver,

For no mere mortal can resist the evil of… THE THRILLER. - Vincent Price

Credit to and edited by Mark & Chris Wournell (2008)

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I noted Mike Flanagan screamed "GAY RIGHTS! BI RIGHTS" on his way out Netflix's door, but he really did stick his head back in to say, "FUCK AI, FUCK BIG PHARMA, AND FUCK THE CAPITALISM THAT PROPS THEM UP" as well didn't he?

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ACTUAL archaeological mysteries

* How do tarps go missing between field seasons?

* Why do I not have as much success with grants as others?

* How did we lose a datum? It's a frickin concrete cylinder in the ground!

* Can you read this person's field notes? Because I can't.

* Is this a bone or a rock?

* Which Munsell number is closest to this layer?

* Is this a sherd or a very convincing rock?

* We've had weeks to excavate. Why are we always rushing on the last few days?

* Was that previously recorded artifact scatter plowed to oblivion?

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dungeons & dragons: honor among thieves + text posts bonus:

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Non-Britons! Instead of being distracted by the pomp and fanfare of the coronation, here’s a reminder that:

The coronation was funded by tax-payer money. This same tax could have gone towards the cost of living crisis. People are starving and freezing to death as this is going on.

Protests (peaceful or otherwise) are illegal now. A lot of anti-monarchists are being arrested for simply holding signs.

Our government is currently trying to push through a revision to the Equality Act that will exclude trans and non-binary individuals.

Oil companies have made a record profit in the past couple of years. Oil and gas prices aren’t rising because of an inflation issue.

Our NHS is crumbling because funding is going to stupid projects like this coronation.

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Making a shitty one-page RPG called Oh Shit It’s the Killer. The premise is simple: you’re a high schooler spending the weekend in the woods with your besties. The Killer is there also. He is trying to the Kill you