rnurdercorpse

[rnurdercorpse]

@chariotflamed​ said:   are you so angry you can’t even speak?

“You wish.”

No, Crowley, and that’s the problem with Kilgrave.  Rather than quiet, he turns toward a shrill, snappy tone when he finds himself getting angry.  Really, is that surprising?  The man that commands the world with his voice growing louder when inconvenienced?  It makes sense.  He has historically been rewarded for getting loud and making sure he is heard.  Well, besides with the occasional naysayer, but in those cases it turns out that his yelling is aimed toward the surrounding people, and that’s just another type of solution for the problem.  It’s still the best way he can think to deal with it.

Doesn’t really work in this context.

“You will have to try harder, Crowley, if you truly want me to be quiet.”

#chariotflamed #| ARC: good news for people who love bad news. #bold of you to assume he shuts up

[rnurdercorpse]

gender: bastard

#wELL........... #| M: we need to talk about kevin. #| kilgrave made me queue it.

[rnurdercorpse]

#| M: get well but don't you try too hard. #| R: were you disappointed when you got to know me? #| kilgrave made me queue it.

[rnurdercorpse]

all i could think of, due to the presence of exactly three (3) band members, was kilsquad dfnglkdfh

this is the vibe we’re going for for the next phase, coming 2020

#| smiling. #| visual. #ncsism #LISTEN LION MAY NOT BE HERE BUT......... THEIR LEGACY LIVES ON #anyways i really do be inactive on here only to log on and post some dumb shit like this huh

[rnurdercorpse]

Buzzfeed Unsolved; The Demonic Curse of Annabelle the Doll Sentence Prompts ( part 2 - investigation ).

well, we’ve arrived.

you got the demon jitters.

this is maybe the most dangerous place we’ve ever entered.

you got that look in your eyes again.

it does look like a place that would be haunted, huh?

it has nothing but haunted artefacts stocking the shelves.

i know a little bit about some of these things.

it’ll attack you in your sleep.

i’m not gonna tell you how to do it, because if i do, you’ll do it.

i’ll read the instruction manual and get back to it.

it’s very organised, though.

it’s got a funny little face.

it kinda looks like you.

i was gonna say it looks like you, with the elongated limbs.

it’s got those little like, scared eyes, you know?

this is what you look like when you see something you think is evidence.

wow, this is really a regular shop of horrors here.

we can take one step at a time, if that makes you feel better.

okay, you go for it.

can you jump into my mind?

you could think of this guy as a very big doll.

i’m gonna lock you up inside my body like a little canary.

you can be stuck inside my rib cage forever.

what do you think of that, [ name ]?

it is weird to make direct eye contact with it.

yeah, i don’t like it.

it’s too annoying.

i’m gonna go back to hell now, just chill out for a bit and destress.

she’s really treating us to some lovely classical music.

i’m gonna give you some silence for you to do whatever you’d like.

why would you say that?

what’s wrong with you?

i’m just trying to be very thorough here.

as much as i would like to catch some evidence here, i frankly don’t want to catch anything at all.

frankly, in this moment, i don’t really care.

you almost gave me a heart attack.

that’s what kills me, just the fright alone.

i would like to say while everyone’s in the room here that i respect you and i don’t want anything to happen.

in fact, if you were to say nothing to me, that would be great.

oh, we got a little reading by the cross! maybe it’s our pal jc.

i don’t know if he just hangs out in every cross in the world, or if he’s split among them like a horcrux, but it’s good to see him.

that feels like some positive energy.

is he gonna show up at some point to fight you?

i have holy water, though.

he’s like the guy whacking away at the tree with the axe.

i’m gonna walk in when the tree falls down on me.

…and he’s dead.

she’s weak sauce, bro.

i don’t even want to get close to her.

i go in, yuck it up. [ name ] goes in and almost blacks out.

your time’s up.

just a reminder, [ city ] doesn’t have the best public transport in the world, so we are in vehicles quite a bit.

every day, always travelling.

just a heads up.

between me and you, he’s free range.

will that incriminate me in court, if something happens to him?

ah, it’s probably fine.

alright, well, take it easy.

are you so angry you can’t even speak?

i can’t believe you did what you did in there.

i’m gonna be so pissed off if we die.

#| meme. #hewwo sirs. sIRS

[rnurdercorpse]

surprise, fellow kids. I bet you thought you’d seen the last of rnurdercorpse

#nfldnf #i drafted this post forever ago when i was active because i knew i would need it to announce my return at some point #hewwo................ uwuwuwu #| smiling.

[rnurdercorpse]

[that’s not fair]

#this is fucking me up lmao #| visual. #| M: get well but don't you try too hard. #''it's not fair'' hurts me #| kilgrave made me queue it.

[rnurdercorpse]

#| M: what a wonderful caricature of intimacy. #| kilgrave made me queue it.

[rnurdercorpse]

#| M: get well but don't you try too hard. #| kilgrave made me queue it.

[rnurdercorpse]

#GOD #| M: the devil do. #| R: hate is a verb. #| kilgrave made me queue it.

[rnurdercorpse]

#| visual. #this is....... very him #what im talkin about #dissociating out the wazoo like !!!! #| M: get well but don't you try too hard.

[rnurdercorpse]

PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS SONG BUT ALSO TURN DOWN UR VOLUME

#god i f fuckin #what IS THIS #turn down ur volume or you will REGRET IT #but this is EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT ??? #| tunes. #| M: the devil do.

[rnurdercorpse]

jack sta/uber’s music is how kilgr.ave feels when he dissociates lmao

#| smiling. #COOKING WITH KILGRAVE HAVING SUCH FUN! #WALKING AROUND IN A PRETTY APRON! #COLORFUL MYSTERY AND COLORFUL DINNERS UNFOLD! #THE FIG SAID SOMETHING HORRIBLE ABOUT YOU........................ #it's making me astral project out of my fucking body listening to this

[rnurdercorpse]

kilgr.ave, not trying to be manipulative, just being incredibly sincere, sharing his emotions:  is accidentally the most manipulative he has been in his entire fucking life because he is a wreck of a human being

#| smiling. #psyclownsis #i dont think he could not have said anything more shitty if he tried????? #oh my god

[rnurdercorpse]

psyclownsis‌:

“i’m not dumb, don’t call me dumb.” he gets two additional kicks for that, one on each dumb, hard into whatever part of him her foot connects with. how horrid is it that this is finally what upsets her? not dumb indeed– she spends every second pretending he’s harmless and charming, and now that he’s bloodied, she’s all out of sorts. she doesn’t like it when people hurt themselves. doesn’t like to be reminded of that kind of self-loathing. he distracts himself from it with the adult aspects of life; she distracts herself with the childish. they were bound to clash eventually.

“i got’choo to stop doin’ it, didn’t i?”

and, well, now she does feel a little bit bad about stabbing him. and pushing him. and kicking him. but she’s so very angry with him! what else is she supposed to do? she’s breathing kind of heavy, trying not to cry– cry in anger; cry in disgust; cry in trauma unresolved; cry at the way he’s looking up at her– and she finally decides she just wants to curl up and try to wipe his blood off her face and resign herself to misery for the time being.

she sticks her tongue out along her bottom lip for a second, makes a face at the flavor of it, starts trying to scrub purple off it with her knuckle with a sullen pout. “i’m sorry i stabbed you. i freaked out. but you’re being really mean to me now.”

a pause as she wipes her purple knuckle on her shirt and then looks at him.

“do you need…” she seems to struggle with the adult nature of his self-harm versus her childish desire to find a simple solution. “… band-aids?”

No reply.  Processing.  Things are moving quite slow for him right now, you see.

When something leaks, do you put band-aids on it?  Seems more like he needs duct tape.  Some glue.  Spread some cement over the cracks, smooth it all out.

“You got me to stop hurting myself, you think?”  Doesn’t seem right.  And it occurs to him that that’s what he was doing.  Even if it doesn’t really matter in the long run, he heals up, someone patches up the thing he is, it’s still an attempt to ruin whatever Kilgrave is.  Inanimate or not, you can destroy something in one manner or another.  And she just stabbed and shoved and kicked him.  So she’s doing it too.  “But you just did.  Isn’t it still just self-harm to be around you if you’re going to hurt me too?”

And he’s not going to stop being around her.  And she’s not going to stop being around him.  Not if it’s his choice.  Usually that’s good enough, though he does worry that it won’t be good enough with her.  She has a choice too.

“Are you going to stay around me?  I want to stay around you.”

He rolls over onto his back, spreads out, looking defeated.  God is he fucking depressed.  He wonders if that’s conveyed in the way he looks at her.  Surely it’s obvious given what he’s done, what they’re arguing about, what they’re saying.

“In which case, you didn’t stop me.  It’s just indirect now.”  His eyes drift.  While he does think his logic is sound, that choosing to be around someone that hurts you is self-harm in its own right, is that really how he should think of her?  But she’s the best thing to ever happen to him.  Doesn’t make sense.  Therefore:  “If that’s the case, hurting myself, really, that’s the best thing I can do to myself at all.”

#psyclownsis #| ARC: good news for people who love bad news. #this is.............. wild #kilgrave dissociating and depressed is certainly Something to behold #self harm for ts #how do i tag??????????????

[rnurdercorpse]

ciaosucker·:

WELL, this wasn’t going to plan. kilgrave’s moves on the demon weren’t going to work out well for the smug bastard, did he forget he was dealing with a demon? zebidiah kilgrave was mortal, and anthony j. crowley was not, in fact, mortal. he could do things to mess with this asshole, they were the original tempter. while kilgrave took away choice, crowley gave them choice. the two may look similar but that’s where the similarities stop. one of crowley’s hands make their way up to the sunglasses, taking them off and tucking them into the front pocket.

so, they would be patient. they would allow kilgrave to think he had the upper hand and when the time came, they would throw him against a wall and choke him for thinking he could take away the free choice of this original tempter. no one could (save for aziraphale, maybe) and they tilt their head, trying to get a better look at kilgrave. strike them with bolts of lightening but they would remain motionless. out of their own choice.

the man was pathetic, a pathetic excuse of humanity and magic wasted on someone who didn’t deserve them.

pathetic.

crowley simply stood motionless, staring into kilgrave’s eyes. they could beat the man in a staring contest, and sure of it, that’s what they would do until something cracked. they weren’t a coward and they weren’t going to make a move until kilgrave really tried to do something stupid. the man was full of stupidity, anyway. to reiterate: don’t try to take away choice from someone, something – a demon, the demon with the most choice, a flash bastard. it might choke you out, even if it wasn’t already clear. “ try and make me, kevin. we both know you want to try. ”

That’s where the cogs and wheels halt.

Kilgrave is an emotional mess.  Everyone who has talked to him for long enough can easily read it in him; his level of emotional regulation is anemic at best.  Is it the disease?  The treatments?  The resulting powers?  His disorders?  Everything all piled up over time, creating the fucked up cluster of traits that is Kilgrave?  Who knows.  Trying to analyze him is just a headache in wait.  Fuck, he gets a headache just trying to keep track of his own thoughts.  Isn’t he supposed to know himself best?  Of himself, he knows nothing at all.  Inconsistency takes hold of him at every turn.

What does seem to be reliable is his reaction to being called KEVIN.  His anger is instant and visceral and impulsive.  It’s not very on brand for him to be physical himself, but he can’t help but shove Crowley away upon processing what he has just said.

“DON’T CALL ME THAT.”

He’s bristling.  Lots of thoughts swirling around in him now, Crowley, and it took so little work, didn’t it?  And Kilgrave doesn’t have much sense in him to think of who he is talking to.  What are the implications of shoving a demon?  Cursing one out, screaming, yelling?  Maybe they’re about to find out.

“How do you know about Kevin?”  Not about me, my name, but KEVIN.  They are not the same thing, Crowley, you better get that through your fucking head.  “Don’t call me that.  Don’t you ever call me that.  You can choke on that hissing tongue of yours before you ever try to bloody compare me to that snot again.”  Not the same.  Not the same.  They’re not the same.  “Do you think I’m stupid?  I know I can’t make you do anything.  You want to taunt me for it?  I wasn’t trying to make you do something.  Do you think you’re funny?”  It’s habit, to make orders.  And maybe there’s a part of him that hopes it will eventually work.

Pointing, he continues his tirade.  “I wouldn’t try to make you do anything.  Not on purpose, even if I could.  Are you an idiot?  Have you been paying attention?  Catch up, CROWLEY, I’m not like that, I’M NOT ————”  Does it sound convincing?  Is he saying this for Crowley or himself?  “— Don’t pretend I’m like that!  I’m not like that anymore!  That’s not who I am!  I’m better — what kind of fucking person are you?  What kind of person says that?  What’s the point?  Do you get a kick out of it, like to be cruel to me?  Want to be negative for the sake of it?  Does it feel good?”

“————— I DON’T NEED YOU.”

#ciaosucker #| ARC: good news for people who love bad news. #throws an absolute fucking FIT

[rnurdercorpse]

notes:  zebe.diah isn’t a name my kilgr.ave really uses at all.  it’s more like a filler name he might have used a few times, but that’s just me giving a nod to the comic.  he is just “kilgrave.”  first, middle, last names are so very normal.  he’s Much Cooler, going by what he feels is almost a title, something mythical, legendary.  “kilgrave” feels so much More and it’s Grand and it’s just him.  and calling him kevin really pisses him off.  kevin is a dirty word to him, disgusting.  the closest feeling it can be compared to is dead-naming, and it’s so very incredibly beyond unpleasant for him.

obviously it’s not on the same level in terms of significance/importance to anyone else and doesn’t deserve that same kind of respect, but that’s just how it feels to him.  it’s on par with his weird connection to purple.  doesn’t make sense to anyone else, but it’s just Him.  it’s an incredibly easy way to upset him if you somehow manage to find out his name was kevin, but he keeps that shit under lock and key.

#| smiling. #| headcanon. #in which i use kilgrave as a conduit for my own dysphoria/identity problems lmao #love how on my multi im like ''everyone should call voldemort tom. that is the best way around the name thing and it's so disrespectful'' #''everyone be mean to tom he deserves it'' #but doing the same thing to kilgrave is WEIRD TO ME i'm like equally bothered by people calling him kevin sdnglsdkfh #WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT ME? probably that i should stop using him to express my dysphoria that's fuckin what #oh well !!!!!!!!!!!!!! #he has very specific and strange identity issues. what's new