robillardthoughts

[robillardthoughts]

thursday, april 22nd 2021: wiped out

what a day! what a day. i’m currently so tired i’m lying down in bed on my side writing this on my laptop, arguing with myself on whether or not i’m going to do my anki and clean my room and just do all the night routine things after this. i’ve won the shower argument, so hopefully i can win the rest too. but i’m just so tired, so we’ll see.

thorn

i felt some anxiety and insecurity today seeing this girl match :( i was happy for her but then i saw her pubs and stuff and ya. luckily it didn’t spiral too much though b/c i had an exam in like 15 minutes LOL

i’m kind of hungry rn b/c i skipped dinner but it feels too late to eat so boo

still struggling with making drinking water and taking my iron as habits but that’s okay. i haven’t put a super conscious effort into either of those things so i’m taking it easy on myself

rose

really really starting to feel optimistic about covid. really do think this is the last brutal wave. vaccinations are looking very positive and i just feel... good about the future.

i did my exam!!! and i think i passed!!! yay :)

i went for a nighttime walk and it was a little scary b/c i was by myself but also it was very nice going for a walk to fade the adrenaline of my exam

i had a nice phone call w/my sister tonight during my walk!

the bad part of my period is over thank heavens

i think i’m still riding that post-exam high

i had a good study session w/my friend. we were very productive actually (even though 75% of the stuff we studied wasn’t on the exam)

ya tbh nothing else really happened today but i feel worn out in a good way and i’m very excited to chill and sleep

i can’t believe i woke up today to snow and then by afternoon it was gone. like that’s just so odd. i’m not mad about it though b/c it’s gone lol

sent a card for my sister’s bday in the mail <3

bud

i am kind of excited to start studying for school. i just want to sink my teeth into the material and master it. i think i am starting to enjoy school more and see more purpose to it

i’m going for a run tomorrow after class is over! and i’m very excited

also stoked to eat breakfast tomorrow lol i’m starving

it’s the weekend! and the weather is going to be nicer!

#robillardthoughts #april 2021

[robillardthoughts]

wednesday, april 21st 2021: to do list princess

i just love a good to do list, you know? sure, it’s rare that everything on the list gets done, but i’m much more productive with one. i’m switching from a system of being 100% for 2 days of the week and 0% for the rest, to a system where i’m about 80% every day of the week. perfectionism isn’t the goal, progress is!

thorn

i’m a little bit stressy about school. not even just my osce tomorrow but also i’m pretty behind in studying for my final that is kind of coming up. but i will study for that after my osce tomorrow :) one bebe step at a time

i joke that i have sleep inertia but i think my inability to wake up and do things until way later is actually a problem... i’m going to really consciously try and implement a morning routine

i was on instagram for the first time in months and i saw something that did not make me happy. not devastate me but just fomo you know so i’m glad i’m not on it haha i think it’s made my life a lot better

i felt really nauseous and dizzy for parts of my day. and anxious. it was definitely coffee-induced :$ drinking 2 cups of coffee is not my friend

rose

it was pretty scary to post my singing video on instagram but people were nice and it felt good to do something out of my comfort zone. plus i really do love to sing HAHA

i think i’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed with doing 50 minute pomos so today i said we wanted consistency more so i did 25 minute pomos and it worked out very well

it was our 100th post on insta today and we did a cute lil ‘most likely to’ on insta stories via polls and it’s just lots of good fun

i went for a run!!! i’m really shocked because i wanted to go for a run, and i’m on my period, and it was cold today. am i becoming a runner guys??

strava brings me so much joy LOL b/c it is my form of social media hehe

really into sunbeamsjess videos rn. she just channels such a great cozy academics vibe that is great studyspo

my friend asked me to ask my sister for legal advice today and this is now the third time that situation has happened which is fun. i’m proud of her for being someone w/knowledge haha

had a pretty good study group session. there was someone who i didn’t really know but she turned out to be really nice and she’s a swiftie which makes bonding a lot easier haha

covid cases are holding steady, which is better than increasing. plus vaccinations are on the up and up i think w/astrazeneca being widened to 40+ and i’m hopeful that the worst is over and we’ll begin a steady decline

i talk a lot about how i’m glad i’m not on the youtube train anymore but every so often i watch a youtube video and i think to myself what if. oh god hahaha

i feel silly reading romance books a lot but they really do bring me a lot of joy. i love fantasizing and romanticizing. it just makes life more fun. there are probably cons to it but meh

somebody was very nice and networked on my behalf and emailed me today about it! it was very kind of her and i really appreciate it because hierarchies exist ladies and gents

my parents are very cute and i think they are my why for a lot of things. i just think they put so much effort and work into raising me and i really want to make them feel like it was worth it

i made a cheery playlist for once and it is kind of nice to listen to happy songs lol

i got starbucks today and i tried a new drink it is a blond vanilla soy latte and it was very delicious i drank the whole thing in one sitting LOL. i am hooked on starbucks drinks and am looking forward to trying more new drinks <3

bud

i am so excited for my osce to be over 🥳🥳

i kind of want to buy a film camera lolllllll. but i saw keaton milburn’s film insta today and it is very neat n nifty

my sephora and amazon order should be coming soon so i’m excited for my gifts hehe

i think i want to start watching 90210 again. it’s annoying b/c it’s not on netflix anymore which makes life so annoying, but i watched a clip today and it’s such a fun bubbly show. it’s a lot lighter than gossip girl which i like! i keep saying i’m going to watch bridgerton because i kind of want to but i never actually want to do it at that moment lol

#robillardthoughts #april 2021

[robillardthoughts]

tuesday, april 20th 2021: LOOOOOOOOOOL it’s 4/20 girlies

it's such a struggle being a 4w3. because i think my 4 makes me really creative but also lazy and a need to be authentic and true to my feelings and led by my feelings which is sometimes really dumb. but then my strong 3 really makes me want to be successful. so i am just a lazy gorl with big ambitions lol

also it was one month of this yesterday or two days ago or smoething wooooOoOo

thorn

i am sick and didn't do anything blah blah blah

research gives me anxiety blah blah blah

match day is scary blah blah blah

rose

i bought CLOTHES HOT GIRL SUMMER BABY

i'm going to post a stupid video of me singing and it's adrenaline and scary but that's year of yes baby

i posted it JWOIERWEORJW

i’m going to sleep now

the LEAFS LOST !!!! WOOOOOOOOOO

i called my friend for long time

i’m going to buy a pink notebook because i can. thanks

i read i have never by camilla isley and that book makes me smile. love u richard (and blair too)

bud

i’m going to have a BANGER DAY TOMORROW even though it’s snowing

we make our own happiness right ladies n gents

#robillardthoughts #april 2021

[robillardthoughts]

monday, april 19th 2021: ooh she’s feeling funkay

idk. i just feel weird. times when i’m on my period kind of don’t feel real. they’re like time outs from life. what do you want from me, i’m sick. probably not a very good attitude to have.

thorn

got my period lolzzzz i was like “hmm i’m having pre-period cramps. when is my period supposed to come? oh two days. okay. cool” then i went to the washroom and :D

i didn’t do the things i was supposed to do today

lol tutoring

i’m nervous my driving test will get cancelled

rose

THE SENS! WON! and had a GREAT (ish... i want to kind of discount the penalties but it’s a minor issue) GAME even though i would now consider the flames to be a pretty questionably bad team? this is two games on the road that they’ve won, and that constitutes a streak.

this makes me feel better about my sens post last week lol (i SAID they looked different against winnipeg and they’ve gone 2-1-0 since then)

i had a long chat with my mom tonight. it made me think about some things. some good, some bad. but mainly i just appreciated the chat. it’s one of those things that doesn’t happen unless you’re together in person

federal budget has been announced and they are going to continue doubling grants for a while so yay for moneys

i love nick foligno and his daughter (also i love the wally and methot show truly the best media about the sens by far and away)

the sun was out when i went for my walk and it was warm on my neck and i felt the summer vibes

i used a pen and notebook this morning to study and it felt rlly nostalgic and nice

i have finally finished reviewing most things for my exam once woooooooooooooooo

i had avocado toast. i love white bread

bud

idk dude i feel kinda weird rn. let me think. erm i’m looking forward to baking for my friend

i guess i hv to go to the grocery store tmrw. sigh. but i don’t mind i kind of like it

i’m gna text my mom smthin cute tmrw

#robillardthoughts #april 2021

[robillardthoughts]

sunday, april 18th 2021: ugh fine

ugh i was kind of reayd to sleep but i saw that you wrote a long one so fine ugh i will write a good one. also yours was so cute. so FINE.

edit: sry i am uninspired today

thorn

i am an unproductive bean

research is just a disaster on so many levels. lmao

i was all “running doesn’t make me tired” and then i came back from running and did NOTHING

rose

i painted my nails and toenails white and it’s a hot girl colour and matching is just such a vibe ugh

i ran!!!! woo!!!!

the weather was nice n sunny n not too cold

i called my friend!!! luv talking to her so nice n comfortable

i called my other friend!!! she was v RUDELY eating mcdonalds and i am starving but it was nice to talk to her

leafs lost HaHaHa

my study group didn’t go as bad as i feared

my sister got rlly cute chairs

i haven’t listened to taylor swift in a while and i miss my roots

i BOUGHT SEPHORA WOOOOO BEBE

bud

i’ll do things tomorrow

i’m sleepy

i want to eat out i’m just trying to strategically decide what day this week will be a good day. maybe after my exam?

i’m excited to bake this weekend. baking for other people is my favrit

#robillardthoughts #april 2021

[robillardthoughts]

saturday, april 17th 2021: girl trudging through the trenches

i should not be comparing myself to war. lol. but i just feel like i started my day truly dreading the stuff i had to study today but i DID IT! and i so easily could have NOT done it, but i decided to do the right and responsible thing and i got everything i wanted to get done done. and that, my friends, is something to be proud of.

thorn

i mean, i did not study a fair bit. i took a lot of breaks to motivate myself. but you know what? i kept going. i went back to it.

my skin is breaking out in the way it does before i’m going to get my period :( and the cramps are still a little there too

my dad keeps bringing me food which is SO lovely but it’s past 8 o’clock and i’m so full and i’m supposed to work out soon 

my ear infection is kind of getting bad again

still have no idea what i’m going to do for year of yes oh dear

rose

my friend told me how to put my strava on private which i’m grateful for because it’s kind of scary like it’s where i am in the world

iu’s lilac album is a bop. i like empty cup rn

went on a walk w/my friend. she’s so comfy to be around. she’s starting to become real sister status you know

i am gna start investing again hehehe. i skimmed through millionaire teacher this morning and watched a couple aja dang videos and it got back into it hehe

my walk today was faster than last week and we didn’t take a break and i’m not that tired!!!! does that mean i’m getting stronger i rlly hope so lol

the sens won!! i watched like 30 seconds of the first period before i turned it off because it was so boring lol. but then i caught a bit of the end and it was a bit more exciting? pinto got his first point yay!!

fun fact if you rearrange pinto you get point. coincidence? i think not

i went through a real struggle this morning. i was just dreading studying. and i was loathing it. but then i got through it bit by bit and i am proud of myself for pushing through <3

i feel happy today :)

my mumma made yummy udon salad today

i know i say this a lot but not doing youtube... i just feel so good. i felt so much pressure to look nice at home and stuff and it’s just nice to not feel pressure

i think i’m gonna hit my water goal lolllllll somebody save this plant from me

the weather was actually not too bad today as long as you were appropriately dressed. we dearly missed u madame soleil <3

bud

i’m gonna do a face mask tn to heal my skin :))

omg i’m going to make a yesstyle order because i am irresponsible with money

hopefully tomorrow’s studying session goes a bit easier because now it will be review!!! heck ya!!!

#robillardthoughts #april 2021

[robillardthoughts]

friday, april 16th 2021: the ups n downs continue

but it was an up today! because that is apparently the circle of life this week! lol. i'm glad. i'm in a good mood. i got work done today, i worked out, i'm hanging out with my sister and my friends, it's all good vibes. also i love oranges. oranges are so frigging good.

thorn

i'm going to get my period soon and the stomach pangs have started :$

my friend is going to go home soonish :( i am sad because i love hanging out with her but honestly we haven't hung out that much recently anyway b/c of restrictions so idk if it'll actually feel diff

i saw a spider in the bathroom sksks

rose

i studied today!! and it was pretty interesting and fun! sometimes i really enjoy what i learn in med school and those are the times when they're WORTH it

my mom is feeling better today thank heavens

i finally did something i'd been putting off for weeks

i read a bit today :) i'm trying to read books i don't like as much more slowly so that i finish them and don't drop them. not even don't like as much, just not books that are my type yk

i went for a run! i wasn't supposed to, i was supposed to go tomorrow but i was in the mood and it made me feel so good. the air was so clean and my lungs felt like they were dying but good dying

my class this morning ended early <3

i'm in the newspaper!!! REALLY not really lol. i just signed a letter and then there's a newspaper article about the fact that this letter exists

i got my friend to read the book that i read yesterday and it was D E L I G H T F U L watching her reactions

we also called for a bit while i studied. that was just very nice and pleasant

my sister and i are watching the hills rn hehe but she went to go get her pizza. i love her sm

i love cloudyapples i can’t believe she started her channel at 22 she seemed so mature and i... am almost 22 lol

i cleaned my room a bit and it made me feel good <3

i called one of my friends tonight! it was rlly nice and she got into grad school so i’m very proud of her <3

bud

going for a walk tomorrow with my friend!!!

i’m a lil hungry so i’m excited for breakfast tmrw lol. i’m going to eat some oatmeal (and other stuff but i just like oatmeal)

i am going to buy some beauty products and some clothes this weekend!!! i am excited

i have some time to chill before i get to sleep and i am so happy

#robillardthoughts #april 2021

[robillardthoughts]

thursday, april 15th 2021: bad, bad day

i think i’m just depressed???????? it kind of does not feel fun y’all! i haven’t felt like this in a while so i’m like ahHhhHh but you know i’ve been having a pattern of good-bad-good-bad this week so that means tmrw is supposed to be good.

thorn

i’m stressed for so many reasons

weather was gloomy. COINCIDENCE?? I THINK NOT!

i had a really weird frigging dream in which i was driving an expensive car of my friend’s or something and i left it untended to go to walmart??? and everything in the expensive car that did not belong to me was stolen and i was in deeeeeeeeeeeeep trouble. yikes

rose

my friend and i got burger king and it was kind of amazing.

my sister is so sweet to me

i like cloudyapples a lot

bud

tmrw is a new day and i’ll get some good zs tonight

oh dear god please let tomorrow be a good day

#robillardthoughts #april 2021

[robillardthoughts]

wednesday, april 14th 2021: health is wealth

good evening ladies and gentlemen and of course, our non binary friends <3 here’s another journal entry tonight! i feel like i’m in a pretty good mood because i just did a quick ab workout, which i think is a very nice way to end the day :-)

thorn

of course the sens lose a game on the day i write a post about them...

situation continues to fluctuate. it’s hard not to get stressed about it but there’s really nothing i can do so i’m going to try and handle it to the best of my abilities by forgetting it :D

my tummy is feeling queasy b/c i had some alcohol at lunch i think lol

rose

strava makes walking and running so much more fun. idk whose idea it was to make exercise social media but it’s kind of brilliant?

i’m really enjoying working out. i don’t think of it as working out. just moving my body. getting stronger. i love it.

i’m really trying to prioritise sleeping enough and i feel like i’ve been doing a decent job. there’s no point in waking up early if i’m too tired to do anything (though i got enough sleep last night and still didn’t do much today... but that’s ok. growing pains, right?)

i want to get into cooking more healthily also but that also seems like a lot of effort but kind of fun maybe

i had a call w/my friend and it was lovely <3

i ate a popsicle! that was pretty fun.

i cooked! it was... pretty tasteless, but maybe that’s just what happens when half of it is potato. when you add ketchup and tabasco it’s great. and who doesn’t eat shepherd’s pie without ketchup?

it was pretty fun cooking today though because today i had to use the peeler to peel potatoes and i haven’t done that yet in a recipe (obviously i’ve done it as a kid but not as the main chef of the meal) so it felt like i was leveling up in cooking in a fun way

i went for a run! it was very slow because i was chatting and also because i wasn’t feeling too well, but i’m proud of myself for going. also now i don’t have to run until saturday hehe

one class tomorrow got CANCELLED and i’m super happy about it

finally did the thing that i was putting off for so long and now i just have to wait for my partner to get back to me

i got my new lip balm!!! i’m so happy because my lips are so chapped

i watched the hills with my sister :-) it was a good ep with lots of travel–lauren and whitney are in paris, and heidi was in crested butte. both places looked beautiful

i had this thought today that i’m growing as a person and i feel really glad about that because i don’t want to stay stagnant :D

i think the youtube stress being gone feels really nice

i’m happy rn. i’m just feeling good vibes. which is always nice to feel

my cbl group is kind of bondy and it’s pretty cute. also very different from my last semester cbl group lol

my friend had a ceremony of sorts today and it is very interesting to watch people wrap up their uni careers. must be very bittersweet. but i’m proud <3

i thankfully cannot remember my dream from last night which is nice b/c i was kind of stressed about going to sleep last night b/c i’ve been having a lot of nightmares lately :$

bud

i want to study really hard tomorrow and have a good study day. i was reading this post about how working hard and studying hard is really a form of self-love and i think if i shift it to that way like i have for exercise, then it’ll work

it’s already thursday? amazing! i can’t wait for the weekend hehe i’m going to try and do something fun for year of yes

saturday i get to see my friend for a fun lil walk <3

#robillardthoughts #april 2021

[robillardthoughts]

tuesday, april 13th 2021: pandemic pt 2

i know it’s part gajillion. but it really feels like a year ago when the entire world shut down. i can’t believe there was a time during the summer when i really thought i’d be going to school every day lol

thorn

school is cancelled. this might be a good thing for me. i haven’t decided yet. but bad for everyone else

the situation is questionable now :$

my poor sister :(

i had a weeeee panic about school but i’m over it now so i don’t really care to write about it

i still haven’t worked on research oops that is big priority for tomorrow

rose

i went for a run!!! and it was really really hard ngl my chest was in pain like one minute in but i slowed down and it made it better and i feel proud

i watched the imitation game randomly and it was pretty good and i got teary-eyed

my dad got vaccinated today!!! yay!!!

i have decided to say goodbye to my youtube dreams for at least a while <3 and honestly my soul feels at peace

i feel like in a very limbo state rn like nothing in the world seems real

my mom made a yummy delicious lunch of ddeokbokki

class ended early thank heavens. even then it was so long

“hot girls ______” makes me more likely to do anything

weather’s been nicer than i’ve expected so i am grateful. it’s supposed to rain at some point this week and it keeps not happening so i am happy <3

bud

i am excited for sleep i am so tired except i’ve been having nightmares lately :$

my friend and i are supposed to have daily calls for the next while. we’ll see if that happens but tomorrow is day one so it has to happen tomorrow right

#robillardthoughts #april 2010

[robillardthoughts]

monday, april 12th 2021: we make our own luck

i'm not saying that my fate is entirely made by me, because there are some days that just suck. but most days are probably just average. and those are the days that you can make good if you want to, i think.

i'm reminded of steve dangle (who i hate-watch, not because i hate him, but i hate the leafs) who has said in his videos recapping leafs games when they lose: you make your own luck. no complaining about the situation of the game, whether it's a back to back, or whether they have a hot goalie, or whether the refs were playing for the other team. you make your own luck.

thorn

i didn't study that much... typical

i'm trying to be forgiving about the fact that my kid never shows up but it is a little frustrating. but i am going to be forgiving

i made the most disgusting smoothie ever. i hate protein powder i hate it i hate it i hate it

my room is a little messy we’ll see if i clean it tonight like a good girl

rose

i think the situation is getting better and i am so relieved <3

i had a very good happy productive day!! trying to remind myself that i love myself and that's why i do these things

i got my hospital badge!!! omg i'm a real med student now or something

got to see my friend for exactly 13 seconds but it was nice and she looked very pretty <3

the sens had a great game tonight. they had a great trade deadline day that i'm very pleased with, and they played a very good game against winnipeg <3

i kind of bonded with a girl in my class tonight! :-)

my event tonight ended earlier than expected which was very lovely

the weather was very nice b/c i was appropriately dressed and the breeze was not too cold

i also called a friend while i walked which was nice :-)

i wrote a blog post that i had a lot of fun writing! i am just a different person when it comes to things that i like yk

driver controls the aux period. which means a lot of fearless (taylor’s version) has been going on sry father

i started a new tumblr :D love that for me hehe

i enjoy the steadiness of habits. i am definitely someone who likes structure. it’s just hard for me to give myself that structure sometimes but still i like it

i got an elective!!!! yayayayyayayayayayy

bud

tmrw is grocery shopping day! i think i’m going to buy vitamin C gummies b/c i eat those like candy lol

tomorrow is kind of a long day and i usually burn out on exactly day two of productivity lol so i’m going to buy a delicious snack or paint my nails tomorrow

i have a new book i am reading and i am going to read a few chapters of it tomorrow which will be fun and exciting! i love reading <3

ok that’s all BYEEE

#robillardthoughts #april 2021

[robillardthoughts]

sunday, april 11th 2021: melancholy

i’m not very creative so i had to look to see if i had used this title already. anyway... hello. i feel weird rn. i had a funny evening. and i can’t believe it’s the week again. a FIVE DAY WEEK. i’m outraged tbh.

thorn

i embarrassed myself tonight lol

i am not ready for the week

i think there is just a lot of work i need to do on my personality lol (one of them is stop saying everything i’m feeling)

i spent so much money on ubereats today i have exactly $0.56 left in my eating out fund... oop it’s not even halfway through april yet

school classrooms are closed again :(

covid cases hit another high... yay.......

rose

i went on a fun lil picnic w/my friends and it was so cold but fun and the food was yum and it was nice to be out with them

i had a book club meeting! i spoke a little bit which felt good. i’m still kind of intimidated by them but oh well

i went on a nice walk with my mom before dinner tonight which was cute

it’s my mum and dad’s wedding anniversary today <3 28 years is no small feat

i drank alcohol tn, it was kind of fun, kind of chaotic, kind of a bad decision... oh well

SO MUCH CHAOS in the nhl trade deadline but it’s also fun because it’s earlier than usual. spicy

i had a nice clean shower tonight which felt GOOD

the world is very quiet rn and still b/c my parents are sleeping including my pops and it is kind of lonely but not in a bad way

i had a call with my friend who tolerated me being tipsy thank u <3

i had pizza for dinner!!! yum yum i love this pizza place

i am trying to be more social but it is scary but i am trying

don’t you by taylor swift is my vibe rn

i finished reading norwegian wood and i’m not sure how i feel about it or if i’d ever read another book by him but i’m glad i read it

bud

i genuinely look forward to walking now because it makes me feel... alive and like i’m going somewhere??? poetic?? idk

maybe i will get my life together tomorrow <3

#robillardthoughts #april 2021

[robillardthoughts]

saturday, april 10th 2021: every cloud has a silver lining

also known as “not every day is good, but there’s something good in every day.” thank you ingrid nilsen for that quote. had a good day, and i’m going to cherish it because who knows when the next one will come. to be optimistic, though, let’s say it will come tomorrow.

thorn

i’ve started slacking on my anki and now i can’t stop oops

i don’t have my challenge done for the week :$

it’s really hot in my room i’ve opened the window. that’s wild for april let me tell ya

highest covid count for my city today :$ scary scary

i’m out of lip balm and i’m stressed

rose

i think i’m slowly getting into the whole working out thing. not in an intense way, but just in a moving my body way. i want to get stronger and have more energy. at some point i imagine i will get into it more seriously but for now this will have to do and i am enjoying it

related to that, went on a super nice long walk with my friend. the weather today was absolutely GORGEOUS, so lovely, even a little bit hot? but we walked near the river and it was breezy and chatting was so fun and walking was so nice

i started reading norwegian wood. i’m not as far as i should be, but i think i’m going to read a bit more before i go to bed tonight. it was kind of boring at the beginning, but i’m a bit more intrigued now. it’s pretty easy to read though which is nice

fearless (taylor’s version) is just so darn cute i feel like i’m 16 again (probably also because i’m living at home lol)

i’m trying to help out around the house more so today i washed the dishes, folded the laundry, and made my mom dinner (avocado toast but still)

i took a quick shower just now because i felt gross and i really like showering like it takes a lot of effort but feeling clean is actually a very good feeling haha

i journaled this morning! it took forever, idk how people do 3 morning pages because it takes me 10 minutes to write a single page, but i did feel lighter afterwards

my legs are sore but they feel good tbh just feel like i’m alive and used my limbs yk

bud

tomorrow i’m going to have a green smoothie because my dad bought spinach for me even though i didn’t ask him to so i need to eat it

going to have a picnic tomorrow with my friends!! i’m SO excited just because i didn’t eat out on friday and i think i am very metaphorically dying

i’m going to do a face mask tonight i think wOo

#is this long enough for u #robillardthoughts #april 2021

[robillardthoughts]

friday, april 9th 2021: uncomfortable

it just feels like... taylor swift’s documentary where she talks about how in the wake of her mother’s cancer diagnosis, nothing else seemed so important. that’s not what i’m going through, but that’s what it feels like. sry i am dramatic idk i think i am weak lol

thorn

hmmm where do i even begin

sometimes i think i am peter kavinsky in book two

we can add amy in little women too (but i knew that already)

i just feel so lost and stressed

rose

at least i wasn’t that upset about the whole friendship fiasco today

fearless (taylor’s version) came out today and it was super fun esp watching all the lyric videos w/the pics (though i still haven’t listened to extra tracks lol oops)

i went on a nice long walk and it’s wild how closely interlinked physical and mental health are

i love my sister a lot she makes me feel like a little girl and sometimes you just need to feel that way you know

had a very fun little call with my friend today where we just laughed a lot and felt the summer vibes

class today was pretty chill lol i like tbl even though i don’t learn much

i like helping people and sometimes it reminds me of something a person told me which is that my problems seemed fixable to him so he didn’t mind helping out and sometimes i understand what he meant

bud

i want to get physically stronger and spend a lot of time outside because maybe that will help so i am excited to do both those things and see my friend tomorrow <3

tomorrow i am going to start journaling for real LOL

also getting back my life because now i have to

and read norwegian wood in one day lol OOPS

sleep will help i think

#robillardthoughts #april 2021

[robillardthoughts]

thursday, april 8th 2021: short n sweet n ugly

lol!!!!!!!

thorn

i cried today

and then i cried again

: )

rose

at least things r looking up? maybe? idk

the weather was gorgeous

i saw my friend!!!

bud

i’m going to sleep early tonight. i say that every night but i am so drained

#robillardthoughts #april 2021

[robillardthoughts]

wednesday, april 7th 2021: rollercoasters all around

on one hand, it was a rollercoaster of a day. good and bad and all that fun stuff. on the other hand, i feel like i don’t really remember it because it was kind of bad. or maybe i just am over it. who knows?

thorn

what is going on w/electives? no idea

my poor mother had a bad day :(

something i don’t want to talk about on here but !!! maybe i will journal about it!!

we are in a stay at home order now :( i am getting covid fatiGUE

rose

TAYLOR SWIFT CAME OUT WITH A NEW SONG AND IT’S SOOO GOOD

i had a networking event and it was more fun than i was expecting! the doctors were pretty nice and they gave some good advice

i cooked!! i always think my meals don’t taste very good right away but i think it’s b/c they’re hot and i hate hot food

i am cautiously optimistic about electives

i refuse to force myself to think about more good things b/c that’s what takes me 15 minutes to write this but since i started this point i will write one which is that my dad brought me a peeled orange today in bed <3 love u pops

bud

tmrw i am reunited w/my friend <3 and we are gna dress cute <3

new music coming from taylor swift swiftly!!!

can i sleep by 11 i hope so dearly

#robillardthoughts #april 2021

[robillardthoughts]

tuesday, april 6th 2021: oh my days!

today was such a funny day. it was actually not that great of a day considering i didn’t get as much done as i wanted and i fell off the productivity bandwagon, but i’m ending it feeling pretty cheerful so does it really matter? also, i only have 7% battery so this is going to be speedy gonzalez

thorn

i stopped vlogging LOLLLLLL i just should give up on being a youtuber forever n ever

similarly, i think i am cancelling robillardstudies HAHAHA see u when i have another exam to study for 

i’m tired and i’m sleeping late

i kind of felt off tonight probably b/c i fell off the productivity bandwagon hehe

I STILL AHVEN’T BOUGHT MY SHOES

i went to eat cinnamon rolls and they were all gone >:(

rose

walked around a lot today and the weather was so nice i was in such a cheerful mood i even went out w/out a jacket and i was wearing a dress!!!

i had a good long chat with a high school friend which was full of laughs and smiles and made me feel good

me and my friend took a cute pic on zoom well rlly just me b/c i posed but it was cute we were matching w/the sprout filter on facebook

i think my skin is a little bit better b/c i drank water yesterday. amazing how like drinking water has immediate results on my skin and YET I NEVER DO IT

i’m feeling silly tonight hehehe. may not have been the greatest day but i’m ending it feeling content

confirmed my start date for my summer job!! i got the date i wanted which i’m happy about hehe

i think i need to completely change my life hehe

i love french manis so much

i’m really into f(x)’s hot summer looooooool such a meme

i also called another friend and my sister while i was walking which is always a good timeee

my dad and i had a nice little walk together today also

it’s like warm in my house and i love it so much

finally learned about leukemia a little bit :’( <3 i love u dakota winchester 4ever and ever

it’s been one year since i wrote my last book!!!! maybe i’ll write another one!!! who knows

i’m so happy i’m done uni lol i do not miss undergrad at all (i’m speaking academically)

bud

i’m excited to make curry tmrw hehehe

i have a networking event tmrw which is always kind of scary but also a little fun b/c it’s ‘productive’ but fun

i’m excited to be done writing this b/c then i’m going to wash up and meme for a little bit. sleep is for the weak and the productive and you know i am neither of those things

i need to figure out something for when i get lonely b/c what i’m doing now is not it sis

i want to get into journaling again. i haven’t done it in a while because i kind of don’t really like being super introspective right now b/c it just makes me look at a mirror and feel bad about myself but maybe it will be good for me

#robillardthoughts #april 2020