This wasn’t a good surprise, it was an unexpected one. Well that is the point of a surprise isn’t it; unexpected, out of the blue, never heard of. Except a group of people didn’t jump out and say surprise; instead you said it was too much. 200 miles was affecting you, the distance that we both are experiencing. You didn’t communicate your feelings when I asked, it sounded like you didn’t even want to have a mature conversation with me. You had your mind made up, and I didn’t ask if we could fix this. I have a constant lump in my throat and it hurts to swallow. Cuz if I swallow, the tears well up and my heart aches. But i can’t feel anything; I sob at a chemical compound, my eyes are swollen and I feel out of tears. I cry so hard I make myself sick and puke. You hurt me and there’s nothing that could fix it. I want to talk to you and ask why… why Can’t we fix this or how could it be fixed. But I won’t force you to do anything; but I will be hoping that you text or call me though I know I am only kidding myself.
I will be ok and I will be strong and I will evetually reach out to you.