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royalmilkk · 2 years

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Last Resort (SAGAU brainrot)

contains: imposter au, cult behavior, kind of crack? SPOILERS for character backstories

about: in a last desperate act to save yourself, you reveal their secrets (note: venti and zhongli did not reveal their identities as archons)

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You've finally been cornered by your beloved characters after weeks of running from the angry crowds. They immediately bring you to the middle of the town square, the archons present and deciding on the verdict.

Not that there's any other punishment but death.

"For your grave offense against the divine creator, you are hereby sentenced to a public execution," It was Ei who announces this and your stomach drops.

"On what grounds! I didn't- I don't even know this divine creator! How could I have insulted them-"

"Blasphemy! You claim not to know of the divine creator yet you dare to impersonate them!" Venti accuses, stepping forward to face your kneeling form. You were growing desperate and frustrated at their stubbornness. As a lover of the genshin lore, you couldn't help but spout the next words from your mouth.

"Pretty bold coming from a wind spirit! That isn't even your face!"

The winds of Teyvat freeze. You freeze too. Oh god oh god is he angry? Are they going to torture you now too? You take this pause as a chance to ramble — your last resort in worming your way out of execution — your entire being high on adrenaline and fear. "I mean, as the anemo archon of the land of freedom, doesn't this seem too oppressive? Appearances, really?"

"And- and what's this talk about an imposter? If anything, are we really going to ignore Albedo's double in Dragonspine?" Much of the crowd is confused, but you visibly see Amber, Eula, and Albedo stare at you in mixed shock.

"The raiden shogun is practically an imitation of the real god as well! Aren't our situations kind of the same? Archons, Inazuma had twin rulers yet no one seemed to realize that!" Ei grips onto her sword, taking a step back in quiet horror, "If anything, my case sounds a little unfair!"

"What about Kaeya! He's not even from Mondstadt! He's from- actually let's not get into that." The cavalry captain flinches. Jean, who opted to watch quietly, steps forward to narrow her eyes at you.

"What in archons name are you saying? This does not plead your case of impersonating-"

"I'm trying to convince you that I'm not even from here! I've never heard of a divine creator and all that matters to me in this world is the lore and the characters! Archons, all the months I've spent studying the lore just to get killed by something I missed-"

At this point, you don't really know what you're saying. It was beginning to be a ramble about your lore knowledge and the people around you stared in mixed confusion and shock.

"All of your archons are broke. Xiao eating snow and Ganyu eating glaze lilies are really concerning. Diluc's the darknight hero and he still keeps Kaeya's ugly vase in his manor! And um- Ningguang tried to sell her vision once and Keqing has Rex Lapis plushies in her bedroom! And erm Shenhe is Chongyun's auntie? Guoba was the stove god and Xiangling found him! And there's also- I- and- ah-"

"You," Zhongli points his spear at you, a vortex vanquisher which you've grinded all your primogems for. His voice is calm and cautious, almost hesitant. "Spouting such obscure information-"

"That.. vortex vanquisher," You start, "It took me months of saving to earn it. I finally equipped you with it last month. I thought it would suit your aesthetic as Zhongli."

Last month. You had finally earned Zhongli's weapon, quickly equipping him and falling asleep only to wake up in the world of genshin.

Last month. The day their divine god disappeared, leaving the vessels to feel empty. When talks of an imposter surfaced, they were quick to assume that perhaps your existence had angered their god. If they deal with you swiftly, the creator would grace them with their presence once again, right?

Could you really blame them for their desperation? The thought of being abandoned by their god is an inborn fear for the people of Teyvat. So many imposters were given unquestionable worship in the past, only for them to misuse it.

Zhongli remembers the day an imposter made him slaughter his fellow gods in the archon war. Ei was pitted against her friends for an imposter. And Mondstadt was ruled under the tyranny of one during Decarabian's era. The ley lines of Teyvat consumed sin and it manifests itself through imposters.

Now, Zhongli's grip on his polearm weakens as he stares at you. His hands tremble and jaw relaxes. Suddenly making eye contact, the geo archon notices the faint glimmer of stars in your eyes.

The stars of Teyvat will always have a place for you.

"Y-your grace?"

—

Kaeya: So... You really kept that ugly vase in the manor?

Diluc: Hmp

— 🤍 —

Zhongli: Xiao, how many times did I tell you to stop your habit of eating snow?

Xiao: ...

— 🤍 —

*Venti having an existential crisis because of his appearance*

You: I'm uh, sorry, didn't really mean that. Kind of.

— 🤍 —

Ningguang: So... Rex Lapiz plushies huh...

Keqing: It's not what you think!!

— 🤍 —

*cue people worshipping Guoba*

All hail the stove god

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a quick random drabble bc in reality, we really do know a lot of secrets if ever we find ourselves in sagau

note: im always grateful for comments and (kind) criticism of my work, just hmu! this was a sleep deprived drabble but i hope you like it anyway

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royalmilkk · 2 years

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back again with one more thing, Imagine if the dorm leads and crowley found out MC was a demon royalty (without being an actual demon must i mention) who also is the owner and can control the 7 rulers of hell. the amount of power they have.

Dorm Leader Meeting

Crowley: We will be doing a project about our family lineage

MC: I’ll have to summon my dad lol

everyone: 🤨🤨

*mc some how summons diavolos goofy ass)

Diavolo: MY DAUGHTER HOW IVE MISSED YOU PRINCESS

Diavolo: Oh hello everyone, I am Diavolo future King of Devildom and Ruler over all Demons

everyone: 😰😵‍💫

Leona: YOUR A PRICNESS?!?

Riddle: Not only that BUT A PRINCESS OVER DEMONS, ARENT YOU HUMAN?!?

MC: lol adopted, and guess i forgot to mention it because i liked being treated normally.

Diavolo not realizing that suprise and further boating about mc: She also can control and has pacts with the 7 deadly sins/ 7 rulers of hell. Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeusu, Beelzebub, Belphegor

everyone: ?!?!?!

*crowley shaking in his boots because he over stressed the Demon Lords daughter and made her live in a broken house*

Lillia hiding on the ceiling thinking she’s the perfect wife for malleus

Riddle: what the actual, you don’t act like royalty?!? (trauma kicks in) IM SO SORRY MY PRINCESS

Leona: I though you didn’t have any magic?!?! wtf demon princess (lowkey mad because he became friends and became attracted with a royal)

Azul: Oh wow, what’s it like, Aren’t you powerless though?? (even more insecure for showing himself vulnerable to royalty but at the same time prideful for pulling a princess)

Kalim: IDMG OMG OMG THATS SO COOL A DEMON ORICNESS WOW WE WHOULD HAVE A OARTY (not a thought between those eyes)

Vil: you seem far from royalty but I guess, We have really got to work on your mannerism (let’s be honest, we might hate to admit it but he’d hang around you more after learning this and if y’all were togather he’d probably make sure you kept your appearance up )

(rude)

Idia: I can’t believe i’ve been wasting the time of a heir to the throne, can’t believe they had to hang out with a yucky introvert like me (as if this mf isn’t the heir to a rich ass buisness, literally is malfunctioning at the thought of a princess loving him)

(mc getting war flashbacks of a certain anime serpent)

Malleus: wow, that is amazing, If we ask to get married surely they can’t say no to the Princess of Hell (not a thought behind those eyes pt 2)

I also believe (might be biased) Diavolo would take a liking to Malleus because yk.. horns

basically i’d imagine that’s how it goes down - 🕺 srry for the rant

Aksndjdne riddle 💀 hes so ♡

And azul like pfft

This is amazing please rant more

#this. this right here.#is perfection.

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royalmilkk · 2 years

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MC: You have to apologize to Lucifer!

Satan: Fine!

Satan: Unfuck you, or whatever!

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royalmilkk · 2 years

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Diavolo: Lucifer, what's wrong?!

Lucifer: *extremely drunk, scratching two of Cerberus' heads, weeping*

Lucifer: I don't have enough hands, Diavolo-

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royalmilkk · 2 years

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Mammon: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Lucifer: Mammon, no.

MC: Mistlefoe.

Lucifer: Please stop encouraging him.

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royalmilkk · 2 years

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they say the worst betrayals never come out of your enemies, but your loved ones. if only zhongli knew how true that was.

in which zhongli doesn’t give away his gnosis so the tsaritsa devises a new plan with you at the center

cw: archon quest spoilers, zhongli x gn fatui harbinger!reader, established relationship, betrayal, major character death, manipulative!reader, angst no comfort, descriptive violence

He knew he should never trust a harbinger, that’s what everyone told him when you first entered his life. But you were so full of life and ideas, matching his thirst for knowledge and need for long talks on philosophy, with a hefty enough wallet to afford another one of isexpensive whims.

Zhongli knew what it was he was falling for, he was no fool. He was sure that if you truly had a deeper, hidden side that you would show the cracks in due time.

But when he did see behind your perfect appearance, he saw a broken person with desires and raw emotions. He saw the pain in your eyes as you told him you didn’t want to continue working for evil, but you had no other choice. He cried for you, just as you cried for him. He loves you, and you loved him, no matter what other people may say.

And you understood him. You understood his personality, the hidden motives behind every action, and even when he did some of the most questionable acts, you knew that it was for the better of Liyue.

You were flawed, just like any other human being, but oh, were you perfect in Zhongli’s eyes.

He knew you were meant to be together as your lips fell against one another’s, perfectly synchronized like you knew what Zhongli was going to do and matched him perfectly. He knew you were meant to be together as you both went walking around the plains during a full moon, singing to glaze lilies and having to fight back against the whopperflowers that came.

He knew you were meant to be together when on your first anniversary, you smiled at him as you handed him a gift wrapped in ribbon, that smile that only seemed to have him in your eyes forever.

And ever.

And.

Ever.

“…why?”

He knew he should’ve never trusted a harbinger, heeding to the warnings of the people around him saying that you were a spider trying to get him caught in your web. He should’ve known the hidden truth behind the crocodile tears that escaped your eyes and the venom that poured out of your lips every time you spoke another beautiful lie.

“I’m sorry Morax.”

Why didn’t you sound sorry?

Why were you smiling so sinisterly that Zhongli couldn’t recognize who you were and why you had taken on the appearance of his kind lover?

“I tried to encourage you to give away your gnosis, I really did! Oh, but you were just too stubborn and forced me to take it myself.”

He still wanted to believe this was all a sick joke, even as your hand went through his chest and tore out his gnosis from within. But no matter how much he tried to wake up from this nightmare, he could never escape the condescending grin on your face.

You must’ve been planning this for a long time to know a way to forcibly pull out his gnosis without his permission.

He wondered if you could feel the way his heart sank from where your hand was.

“We could’ve been something, ya know? Too bad luck just wasn’t on our side, right honey?”

You took your hand out of his chest, holding the small chess piece in your fingers, the light orange jewel in the middle was dyed red with his blood. Zhongli fell forward into your arms as he could no longer support his own body from the gaping hole inside of his chest that caused him severe blood loss. He grabbed onto your shirt tightly, bunching up the cloth in his hands as so many yet so little words tried to escape his mouth.

“…how much of it was real?”

Oh, he hated how warm the arm you had around him that prevented him from falling over was. He wanted to believe you still loved him, that this was all just you being blackmailed into doing another mission by your crazed ruler.

“My dearest Morax.”

My.

You said my.

Zhongli’s eyes lit up with hope as he craned his head to gaze at you. You cradled his chin in your hand just as you always did, and smiled kindly at him.

“None of it.”

That smile was anything but kind.

“Every archon except the Tsaritsa could die for all I care, as long as it’s in her interest nothing matters. Whatever made you think I could love you beyond the act I put up to get you to trust me? You’re a filthy, conceited and no good God that is undeserving of the dirt at the bottom of my shoe.”

Every word you spat out in hatred sounded so lovely, velvety as it resounded in his chest. Or at least what was left of it.

“…why?”

He would’ve preferred it if you just killed him before he fell deeply in love with you.

Zhongli felt his eyes brim with tears. He wanted to laugh at how foolish he was for ever believing your lies that you coated in sweet deception and false adoration.

“Morax. You are the strongest archon, with full devotion for your people who love you equally as much. But the higher up one is, the harder they fall.”

Your eyes narrowed coldly, in the same way you gazed at your enemies. Frankly, the only reason why you bothered to give him his desired answers was because of all the time you spent together.

“That’s why we decided that if the losses would be too great if we fought, why not just betray you? Ah, but you don’t hold anyone close to you, so we had to create someone.”

You watched as he writhed in your hold, trembling as he cried into your embrace and despite the circumstances he couldn’t help but still find the comfort he felt before today.

“Please Morax.”

A hand laid on the back of his head as you hugged him, feeling how he gradually lost the energy to continue fighting.

“Just die quietly.”

Your fingers combed through his hair and he couldn’t see the expression you were making, but he didn’t desire to. For once, he just wanted to pretend to himself and imagine that you were crying over him.

“If I wasn’t an archon, would you have loved me?”

“Perhaps. I hope Celestia will find a place for you there, and you won’t despise me too much.”

He laughed sorrowfully.

“I could never hate you.”

And now here you stood, holding your fallen lover in your arms, with his gnosis in your hand. His blood dripped from his body to the floor beneath you, and all you were left to remember him was the emptiness in your heart where he once filled.

“Happy first anniversary, Morax.”

—end

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royalmilkk · 2 years

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Lucifer: *standing over a coughing and sneezing MC* Take the fucking medicine.

Mc: *running on half an hour of sleep and a piece of toast* fight me!

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royalmilkk · 2 years

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royalmilkk · 2 years

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#WITH CUPID’S HELP

CHARACTERS: ALBEDO, BENNETT, CHONGYUN, DILUC, KAEYA, KAZUHA, THOMA, ZHONGLI

PAIRING: CHARACTER X GN!READER

GENRE: FLUFF!~ （＾ω＾）

“HOW SOMEONE GETS YOU TWO TOGETHER.”

A/N: inspired by @kageyuji’s “their friend accidentally confesses for them“ haikyuu post!! mwah go read it and leave him some rb‘s and kisses <33 ♪(´ε｀ )

NAVIGATION

#ALBEDO (KLEE)

listen. klee is convinced the two of you are made for each other!! she saw you two talking and went, ah yes, a couple!! (๑>◡<๑)

in her mind, the two of you looked just like any of the other couples she has seen around mondstadt!! you’re probably married, right? wait…she wasn’t invited to you wedding! how dare mr albedo do that!! >:o

imagine her surprise when albedo told her that, no klee, y/n and i are just friends. where did you get this idea from? - so you’re not married? and i didn’t get not invited to the wedding? - no???

after her “discovery”, albedo’s afternoons with klee consisted of, “mr. albedo, did you ask y/n yet??”, “well i think y/n likes you because you like them too!!” and “can we go visit y/n?? please??”

he’s truly struggling keeping up with her questions about you, especially because she just doesn’t get tired of it?? he’ll tell her that you’re just friends and she’ll be like, no, you’re not and that’s it! checkmate mr smarty pants (๑･̑◡･̑๑)

luckily for him, klee never actually mentioned him or how she thinks you two should be together to you??? well, she didn’t…

…until she did (*⁰▿⁰*)

klee asked you to have lunch with her and albedo, and you obviously agreed because who could say no to that?!

you and klee are on your way to pick up albedo from dragonspine, chatting and having a great time when she suddenly hits you with the, y/n, you have to go out with mr albedo. ok? he never listens when i tell him to ask you! it’s so annoying!!

safe to say, you were stunned. klee, what are you talking about?? albedo and i-

he likes you! and you like him, i know it! so be together! >:( klee’s getting all pouty and stomps her little feet because ugh!! just date already!! it’s so obvious, so please!!

you tried to brush her off and were ready to just pretend nothing happened, to never speak a word about this to albedo…klee on the other hand, didn’t （＾ω＾）

you reached his camp, and even before albedo was able to greet you two, klee excitedly told him, mr. albedo, i did it for you!! i told y/n about it and they’re gonna say yes, so just ask them now, ok? (๑╹ω╹๑ )

seems like now both you and albedo had to face your feelings ♪( ´▽｀) klee walking up to jean like hehe yes i did that thank you

#BENNETT (BARBARA)

barbara found out about benny’s crush on you while patching up some of his wounds, actually! he was still high on adrenaline and kind of just said whatever came to mind? ٩( ᐛ )و

he passed by you on his way to the cathedral and now his mind’s running, both from the adrenaline pumping through his veins as well as from seeing you-

oh and i went to good hunter with them and fischl yesterday! it was so good and pretty! the food was good and y/n was pretty, i mean- and also! did you know that y/n also knows how to fix my wounds? they helped me last time, when you were out and-

he’s just rambling and rambling and rambling and barbara just listens to him gushing about you with a smile, well, did you ask them out if you like them so much?

and he just freezes (*´ー｀*)-

he regains his composure a bit and immediately is like, oh no! i could never!! me and my bad luck would bother them so much and i don’t want them to possibly get hurt, and what if they don’t even like me like that and it could ruin our friendship and make us awkward and-

barbara feels so bad for him?? she knows it’s not her place to do anything but she doesn’t want him to think like that, especially when she knows that you might, possibly, perhaps also like him :((

so she takes it upon herself and writes a little anonymous note to you!! she mentions that a certain member of a certain one man adventure team might be fond of you, and that you definitely should ask him out!! (^з^)

unfortunately, barbara isn’t that good at hiding things? which results in her avoiding you like the plague because she doesn’t trust herself to not expose that she was the one.. ∑(ﾟДﾟ)

but at the same time she always tries to subtly ask bennett if anything…special…happened…if there was something…happening…and poor benny is clueless and is always just like? no? i don’t think so? ( ・∇・)

barbara is frustrated!! she fears you might’ve never actually received the letter? what if you lost it before you could read it?? what if she accidentally put it in someone else’s pocket?? dear barabtos, what if…what if you don’t even like bennett back?! what then?! oh dear archons-

her train of thought is interrupted by the door swinging open, a beet red bennett stumbling in, goofy smile on his face..

and would you look at that!! from now on, benny gets to gush about you to barbara as your boyfriend!! wowie!! ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

#CHONGYUN (XINGQIU)

there’s rarely anything xingqiu enjoys as much as tormenting chongyun - lovingly, of course! but…

…if there’s one thing he absolutely hates, it’s the way chongyun torments himself by not confessing to you,,,heck, he doesn’t even have to confess!! merely talking to you would be a reasonable step to take!! (￣^￣)

xingqiu tried everything. from being very gentle and understanding to giving chongyun rather aggressive love and support- and nothing works!!

xingqiu’s is at the end of his rope while chongyun is the same lovestruck fool he always was 😀👍

xingqiu doesn’t want to confess for him or anything, because that’s a little too far, even for him! (￣^￣)

(also, he’s sure chongyun’s first instinct would be to say that he’s lying and that it’s not true. so, maybe he would, but it would probably backfire.)

sooo…since he can’t be the one to tell you about chongyun’s crush, who could?…well, how about chongyun himself 👀

xingqiu knows that his plan might be a little mean, but he’s truly just looking out for chongyun!! especially because he’s about 97% sure you like him back-

because you see, xingqiu’s plan was to have you ‘accidentally‘ overhear chongyun talking about his feelings for you!!

is it a little mean? yeah, but it’s all in good faith! xingqiu just really, really wants to help chongyun out - and if it means making him a little mad in the process, so be it

they met up to have dinner together, and xingqiu invited you too, unbeknownst to chongyun - and unbeknownst to you, he invited you a little later

that way, he has enough time to ease into the subject and have chongyun ramble about you by the time you arrived!!

say, chongyun, how’s your little crush on y/n going? - w-what? well, it’s going fine. i mean, i haven’t told them yet and i’m not even really thinking about telling them because that would be crazy right? y/n surely doesn’t like me back and-

and what can he say, it worked!! perfectly, actually (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) well, perfectly except for chongyun‘s face that looked like it was about to explode while you stood there like Σ੧(❛□❛✿)

tldr; so while chongyun might got a little mad at first, at the end of the day, xingqiu was the one who got you two together! ha, checkmate! (*´꒳`*)

#DILUC (JEAN)

jean absolutely did not mean to say anything. she would’ve taken the knowledge of diluc’s infatuation with you to the grave if she had to. especially because not even diluc knew that jean knew!! it’s a mess- (*´Д｀*)

the second she accidentally let it slip, she froze and just stared at diluc for a second…who seemed just as shocked as her ( ・∇・)

um, i-…did not mean to say that. i’m sorry, please forget about it. it’s absolutely none of my business, i never would’ve said anything, i-

she’s panicking while diluc is still frozen, his mind racing; how did she know? did he tell her at some point? did someone else tell her? did she figure it out on her own? if she figured it out on her own, dear archons, does that mean he’s that obvious? but if that’s the case, other people would’ve surely noticed as well, right? what if-

the ungodly shrieks both of them let out when you come into the tavern, greeting them- 💀

they both try so hard to pretend like nothing happened and jean tries her darnest to come up with an excuse to leave immediately, she can’t take this anymore ( ´θ｀)ノ

them: ( ・x・) you: (*^ω^*) hey guys!!

jean really doesn’t mean to butt into diluc’s business!! especially not his love life- (ﾟ∀ﾟ)

but she’s also someone who really likes to help people…and she’s seeing how much diluc’s struggling with her own two eyes…

would it really be that bad if she were to just..help out a little..?

now, jean herself also has no idea what she would do in his situation, much less any idea what she’s supposed to do as a bystander!! so she figures that encouragement would be the way to go! (๑>◡<๑)

so, the next time she meets diluc she tries to subtly bring you up, which seems to work well until she looks up at diluc and he stares back at her with the iciest glare she’s ever seen 😀-

i-…i just mean…you know, i think it would benefit you if you told them? i think it’s pretty obvious to anyone that you and y/n have some sort of…special relationship? surely it would be best for you to…, jean trails off, seeing you slowly get up from the floor behind the counter where you had been helping diluc by sorting and refilling some ingredients ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

very much awkward silence. it takes a solid 10 seconds for anyone to move, and once shock dies down, it’s chaos from there :(；ﾞﾟ'ωﾟ'):

right when jean found the words to say something, anything, to take back what she said and explain, diluc had a ‘ah, screw it’ moment and asked you to follow him outside for a second

the second you two went out the door, jean rushed to the back door of the tavern and hurried back to the knight’s headquarters - there’s no way she’s gonna stay around after the utter embarrassment she felt ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ=3=3=3

she and diluc silently agree to not talk about how you and him got together ( ✌︎'ω')✌︎

#KAEYA (ROSARIA)

does rosaria care about kaeya’s little crush on you? absolutely not. the only reason she even knows about it is because kaeya let it slip after a few drinks at the tavern (°▽°)

what she does care about, though, is the fact that he just won’t shut up about you. it’s like a broken faucet, he just keeps rambling on and on and on and on and on and-

she had to do something, okay? something to get him to shut up - so she took it upon herself to get you together (one way or another)! ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

the thing is, though, that rosaria doesn’t…care? not enough to come up with some elaborate plan or give kaeya a pep-talk, at least-

to be fair, she did try to get him to confess to you before - which kaeya just shrugged off and dismissed, telling her, ah, i wish i could

she’s quite literally about to just march up to you and let you know that kaeya likes you and that you should talk to him about it, for her sake if not for anything else (　˙-˙　)

the thought has been swimming around her mind for a while, but she never really felt the need to go through with it…until kaeya refused to talk about anything else but your upcoming birthday, which at that point was still a whole 2 weeks away (*´ー｀*)

surprise gift that, surprise dinner this - for days, all he talked about was putting together an amazing birthday surprise for you while all rosaria wants to do is sit in the tavern, drink and relax…ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

quite frankly, she had enough 😀🤚

so imagine your surprise when rosaria pulls you aside the second you enter the tavern, brows furrowed

listen, y/n, i need you to do something about that little thing you and kaeya have going on. it’s so painfully obvious, and he won’t ever shut up about you, so for the love of all archons, just get it together. both of you.

you just stood there like Σ('◉ ⌓ ◉’)…and then you locked eyes with kaeya, who was standing behind rosaria- (kaeya and you suddenly locking eye(s) like Σ(‘▇ ⌓ ◉’))

rosaria follows your stare and turns to look at kaeya, shrugs and goes back into the tavern. her mission is done here! ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

it’s safe to say that both of you were a little flustered during the conversation you and kaeya had afterwards (〃ω〃)

it didn’t take long for kaeya to turn all suave again, though! ε-(´∀｀; )

(poor rosaria though, because now that you and kaeya are actually dating, he won’t ever shut up about you ٩( 'ω' )و)

#KAZUHA (BEIDOU)

kazuha regrets ever confessing his feelings for you to beidou about two times a day ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

he’ll forget to do something and she’ll be like, kazuha, how are you gonna get y/n to date you if you can’t even prepare the rice?!

she’s very direct and definitely wants him to confess to you - but, being the responsible captain she is, she also makes sure to remind him that a romantic relationship means change

he’ll have to figure out if he wants you to come with them, or if he’d like to stay with you - maybe nothing will change and you’ll only see each other every few months? beidou is very supportive of him, though, and always encourages him to be brave and go for it

she just really wants to see him finally be happy darn it!! (＞人＜;)

the crux had a little celebration the day before they were leaving liyue for a few months, and beidou made sure to tell kazuha to invite you!!

at least invite ‘em to the celebration! you don’t have to give ‘em your heart, but at least bid a proper farewell to ‘em. you’re gonna miss y/n either way, whether they know or not

when beidou told him that kazuha kinda just went hm. (。-∀-)

because she’s right!! but the way she said it also made him want to confess really badly,,,

so you’re invited to the little celebration held on the crux!! how fun!! well, it is quite fun, but it would probably be a little more fun if kazuha didn’t look so gloomy the whole time? Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

he’s just brooding the whole time, which is so unlike him?? you’re not sure what’s wrong, so you decide to ask beidou about it…she’s had a few drinks, so you had to ask her a few times until she got it ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

ahhh, that idiot…you know what, y/n? i’m a great captain. amazing even! so i’m gonna do what’s best for one of my own. listen well, yeah? that poet has the hots for ya. for a while now. won’t stop worryin’ about it. ‘s probably why he’s borodin’, he’s worried you’ll be gone by the time we come back.

while you’re standing there, processing what she just told you, she turns around and beckons kazuha over. she pats his shoulder and gestures towards you, i told ‘em about it. you can get mad at me tonight, but make sure to thank me tomorrow

beidou used to poke fun at the little poems kazuha would come up with when he was still crushing on you, and now she’s poking fun at him for the poems he writes down as your boyfriend. they’ll never change ✌︎('ω')✌︎

#THOMA (YOIMIYA/AYAKA)

thoma struck pure gold in terms of finding the absolute best friends he could ever ask for!! yoimiya is the passion and confidence he needs and ayaka stays rational and talks him out of anything stupid (*´ω｀*)

now, yoimiya has been telling him to confess for months. years. eons. ever since she caught wind of his little infatuation with you, she told him to go for it, thoma!! what could possibly go wrong?

…which was met with ayaka telling him to calm down and go about it slowly, thoma. spending more time with them and getting closer gradually is better than just springing it on them out of nowhere like that

it’s safe to say he’s struggling a little trying to decide what to do |(￣3￣)|

even though yoimiya and ayaka couldn’t exactly agree on the way thoma should go about asking you to be his, they did however agree that this couldn’t go on any longer - poor thoma is all up in his head because of you!! (´；Д；`)

so, they decide to help out! thoma’s birthday was coming up anyways, and what’s a better gift than to finally be able to confess his love to the person he’s been pining after for so long? (๑･̑◡･̑๑)

they had a perfect plan - the two of you would be sent out on your own, you believing you’re the ‘distraction’ that has to buy some time and while you’re walking around (with coincidentally placed flower petals and pretty lights everywhere), yoimiya is going to set off the prettiest fireworks!!

it’s going to be the perfect moment for both of you to come clean about your feelings and arrive to the birthday party as couple!! (๑>◡<๑)

yoimiya is burning with excitement and works on the fireworks with a completely new found fervour while ayaka is organising the surprise party~

they’re both just so excited to see thoma be happy with you :(( <3

and when the day finally comes, it all seemingly goes according to plan - you’re out with thoma ‘distracting’ him and buying time for the people still decorating the kamisato residence, then the fireworks go off - it all went smoothly!! ayaka and yoimiya are both excitedly waiting for you two to walk in (｡･ω･｡)

and you do walk in!! you’re both smiling, thoma very obviously excited, and yoimiya can’t help but blurt out, FINALLY! FINALLY YOU ASKED Y/N OUT!!

…never had anyone see the smile on thoma’s face warp into utter confusion so quickly 😀

w-what? i didn’t- what? - you…you didn’t? but…the plan? the light? the flowers? the ‘distraction’? the fireworks???

seems like they both planned everything to a t, except for letting thoma know what he’s supposed to do (´；ω；`)

in the heat of all the confusion (and embarassment, honestly) you excuse yourself and thoma and drag him outside - and the next time you enter the room, the smile on thoma’s face won’t be dropping so quickly ♪( ´▽｀)~

#ZHONGLI (HU TAO)

not once did zhongli even so much as mention you around hu tao, and still, she somehow figured out that he’s particularly fond of you?? and zhongli hates it!! _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

she’ll randomly be like, oh! hey y/n!! just to watch zhongli turn around, ready to greet you with a tiny smile on his face, only to be met with no one…(￣￣) his smile drops so fast </3

hu tao’s thriving and zhongli’s losing his mind!!

she also always brings you up, no matter what they’re talking about! he’ll mention going to lunch and hu tao’s like, ah yes, lunch, try eating it with y/n, though! i think it’ll taste better!

the amount of times she almost said something in front of you is way too high to count!! and coincidentally, it’s the same amount of times zhongli almost suffered a heart attack (ﾟωﾟ)…

you see, zhongli actually does plan to confess to you - on his own terms, though. he absolutely does not want to rush anything or ruin whatever platonic bond you built over time

he wants to be sure that you also harbour romantic feelings for him!! so, he decides to wait; decides to be patient and let you relationship grow naturally until it feels right

…hu tao doesn’t think that his approach is very fun, to be honest. actually, she thinks it’s ridiculously boring!! why would he wait that long? and what’s that about letting your relationship grow naturally??? pffff- not on her watch!

straight up telling you about it wouldn’t be much fun, so hu tao decided to organise a cute little date, invite you in zhongli’s name via a little note, tell zhongli that you invited him for dinner and then she’ll just see what happens!!

and to even her own surprise…it worked quite well? zhongli was a little suspicious when she told him you invited him to dinner, but nonetheless, he took the chance - because what if it was actually you, and he didn’t show up? the idea of even accidentally standing you up makes his heart hurt (´･Д･)」

the two of you are having a great time and at one point zhongli kind of just decides that this right now is the perfect moment - you’re both smiling from ear to ear, listening to each other’s stories and basking the presence of one another

y/n, pardon me if this is not the right time, but, what would you say if i took the liberty of asking you out on a date? a real, formal date. romantically, of course.

hu tao was listening the whole time and she’s both flabbergasted and impressed?? she didn’t expect it to actually work!! 10/10 for herself, 10/10 for you and 7.5/10 for zhongli because the way he asked you out was way too formal for hu tao ψ(｀∇´)ψ

TAGLIST: @whygz @blissmal @zhongchi14 @kageyuji

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