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kai/max | 21 | they/he | nb comp sci student | secretly 8 toddlers in a trenchcoat pretending to be one big adult | engaged to @zomboney

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royalpanmeister·19 hours agoText



A short thing about “weird triggers” inspired by this that I’ll end up deleting later honestly-

You can reblog this but like… don’t fuck around??? I won’t hesitate with the block button on this I swear to fuck I won’t.

Well this doubled in notes in like three hours so… I’m glad other people are finding this validating

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royalpanmeister·2 days agoPhoto



Op is denying us the fucking golden replies to this tweet omg

When i had breast reduction surgery, i got into the OR and got put on this table that looked like a flat crucifix (arms out so they could get to the girls), and i said ‘god, don’t nail me down’

they put the mask on my face and the nurse said ‘no jesus treatment today’

and the last thing i said to her was ‘jesus with some big ass titties’ and then passed out. 

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royalpanmeister·3 days agoText






if i ever get another chinchilla i will name him vinny the chin after the former mafia crime boss who once held me as a baby

ok i might not have been directly in the arms of vinny the chin himself now that i think about it but basically what happened is that my mom had been following his trials when it was going on back in the late 90′s and like. she was on this flight that also fuckin happened to be transporting this mob boss to his next trial so like there were a bunch of mafia people on this plane with him and my mother was like “holy shit, it’s vinny the chin” and she literally started?? talking to these mafia guys. and she had to run to the bathroom and for some reason was like “can you watch my kid for me for a second” so my mom left me with the mafia. and she kind of? didn’t think about it? and realized fully what she had done as she was washing her hands so she like runs back out and i was fine. they were playing with me and i was laughing. i think it made the news. anyway that’s the story of how baby me enamored a bunch of mobsters

my mom found the article AND the boarding pass from that specific plane trip… i didn’t realize he was literally on his way to prison… i’m crying… anyway, this is the proof behind the text post. i’m the baby

I am so obsessed with this post you guys have no idea.

and let’s admit it

through an unlikely series of events, a bunch of mobsters are left in charge of looking after a baby is the greatest 90s comedy never made.

Because the pics won’t load lol:

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royalpanmeister·3 days agoText


Okay guys I’m just gonna say this, if you get mentioned in any of these Ray Ban charity event posts. DO NOT CLICK ON IT. It is a phishing website. DO not click on it unless you have the correct add blockers and safety precautions. I’ve gotten mentioned in at least 20 of these at this point, and a lot of them are from people I follow. That is because they have been hacked. They clicked on this link and their account was hacked. Please don’t click on this. I’m just bringing some more awareness to this.

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royalpanmeister·3 days agoAnswer

Heyo! () I wanted to ask because you might have played it and into it: Could I share or submit a song I wrote for Among Us to your blog please? And if you'd like, we could exchange something creative, perhaps! ^_^

oh, sure! idk how many people it’ll reach on my blog, but i’m honored that you wanna share it with me !!

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